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Get Over 'I Got It': How to Stop Playing Superwoman, Get Support, and Remember That Having It All Doesn’t Mean Doing It All Alone
Too many ambitious women strive to accomplish all their goals alone, leading to dangerous levels of stress and anxiety. Learn how a strong support network and meaningful connections are crucial not only to your long-term success, but to your peace of mind.
Today’s women are ambitious and excelling in every way. But many still believe that asking for help along the journey is a sign of weakness, ignorance, or incompetence, so they go it alone.
Author and podcaster Elayne Fluker believes this mindset is partially responsible for the increase in suicide rates for girls and women and the reason so many women end up depressed, overwhelmed, isolated and unfulfilled. To combat this alarming trend, Fluker helps women learn how to build their own networks, make meaningful connections, and understand how even some of the most successful women in the world, like Oprah Winfrey and Spanx founder Sara Blakely, had tremendous support networks that helped them achieve their dreams.
Get Over "I Got It":
Shares the lessons Fluker learned throughout her own struggles with learning how to ask for and accept support.
Provides anecdotes from women professionals, interviews with health professionals, and current research demonstrating the tangible ways women can ditch the dangerous go-it-alone philosophy.
Offers proven, real-world ways for women to embrace the proven health and career benefits of a stronger-together approach.
Ultimately, this book helps women overcome their psychological hurdles to asking for help, giving them a surefire strategy—and the confidence—to seek support. They’ll then be positioned to join other women’s support networks, uplifting them in a way that will transform both individual lives and communities.
Today’s women are ambitious and excelling in every way. But many still believe that asking for help along the journey is a sign of weakness, ignorance, or incompetence, so they go it alone.
Author and podcaster Elayne Fluker believes this mindset is partially responsible for the increase in suicide rates for girls and women and the reason so many women end up depressed, overwhelmed, isolated and unfulfilled. To combat this alarming trend, Fluker helps women learn how to build their own networks, make meaningful connections, and understand how even some of the most successful women in the world, like Oprah Winfrey and Spanx founder Sara Blakely, had tremendous support networks that helped them achieve their dreams.
Get Over "I Got It":
Shares the lessons Fluker learned throughout her own struggles with learning how to ask for and accept support.
Provides anecdotes from women professionals, interviews with health professionals, and current research demonstrating the tangible ways women can ditch the dangerous go-it-alone philosophy.
Offers proven, real-world ways for women to embrace the proven health and career benefits of a stronger-together approach.
Ultimately, this book helps women overcome their psychological hurdles to asking for help, giving them a surefire strategy—and the confidence—to seek support. They’ll then be positioned to join other women’s support networks, uplifting them in a way that will transform both individual lives and communities.
288 pages, Paperback
Published May 11, 2021
31 people are currently reading
213 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
December 6, 2020
The first thing that stopped me in my tracks as I was reading this book was a simple statement: “Define what having it all means to you!” Suddenly, the thought of being happy, having peace of mind, being debt free, of good health and so many other things found their way into my list in an attempt to answer this question.
One thing is certain, the author, Elyane Fluker does not want women to suffer under the weight of being SuperWoman and is simply saying, ‘ask for support Sis! It won’t kill you.’
Too many ambitious women strive to accomplish all their goals alone, leading to dangerous levels of stress and anxiety. Learn how a strong support network and meaningful connections are crucial not only to your long-term success, but to your peace of mind.
The book explores various aspects of a woman’s life; finances, career, business, health, relationships, personal development, and one more which I absolutely loved “Impact.” It is this final aspect that in the very first half of the book she asks what impact are you hoping to make? What legacy are you aspiring to?
The book is well paced and each topic builds onto the other and what’s great about this book is that she writes from the view point that any woman reading this is already winning in life. Yes, she writes in such an optimistic tone that you cannot help but truly want to dig in and put in the work, get the support, be vulnerable, form networks that enhance your worth.
I loved reading about relationships and growth and my take-away from that section is knowing who an Anchor and who an Engine is in my life. Anchors just as they serve to keep ships still, these are the people who hold us down, keep us rooted and not all of them are bad, however their vision of us is limited to our experiences together. Engines keep us going, they see the future we ought to live and propel us forward- and it is crucial to identify who is an anchor and who is an engine.
Just like more personal development books, this book is intensive, exploring various aspects, of our lives of the stories we are told as women about work and independence. She asks a question that I am asking myself ever since I read it: How are you showing up for yourself?
Thanks Netgalley for the eARC
One thing is certain, the author, Elyane Fluker does not want women to suffer under the weight of being SuperWoman and is simply saying, ‘ask for support Sis! It won’t kill you.’
Too many ambitious women strive to accomplish all their goals alone, leading to dangerous levels of stress and anxiety. Learn how a strong support network and meaningful connections are crucial not only to your long-term success, but to your peace of mind.
The book explores various aspects of a woman’s life; finances, career, business, health, relationships, personal development, and one more which I absolutely loved “Impact.” It is this final aspect that in the very first half of the book she asks what impact are you hoping to make? What legacy are you aspiring to?
The book is well paced and each topic builds onto the other and what’s great about this book is that she writes from the view point that any woman reading this is already winning in life. Yes, she writes in such an optimistic tone that you cannot help but truly want to dig in and put in the work, get the support, be vulnerable, form networks that enhance your worth.
I loved reading about relationships and growth and my take-away from that section is knowing who an Anchor and who an Engine is in my life. Anchors just as they serve to keep ships still, these are the people who hold us down, keep us rooted and not all of them are bad, however their vision of us is limited to our experiences together. Engines keep us going, they see the future we ought to live and propel us forward- and it is crucial to identify who is an anchor and who is an engine.
Just like more personal development books, this book is intensive, exploring various aspects, of our lives of the stories we are told as women about work and independence. She asks a question that I am asking myself ever since I read it: How are you showing up for yourself?
Thanks Netgalley for the eARC
February 11, 2021
The publisher kindly offered me a reader copy via NetGalley. Yet, this is an honest review of the book expressing my own opinion.
As a woman who puts way too much on her shoulders and fills her Goals List thinking she's an immortal goddess with infinite time and energy, this book was like a beautiful oasis in a very busy desert.
What I loved the most was how she weaved narrating parts of her life into the book, as well as the fact that she included interviews with so many inspiring people. The book really conveys its message through different perspectives. There are sections told by 'clients' who got help and explain their issues and what helped them, which was a tremendous help because they put into words issues I struggled to define. Other sections were told by 'specialists' who outlined what to do and general advice on how to approach things. I found both types of sections very helpful and informative.
However, at times, I did feel like some parts were a little utopic. An interviewed person mentioned how we're not victims of our circumstances and that God made us in a way that everything we can create in this world is unlimited. I do agree with the general concept the author introduces in that section, that each person is a possibility, but that interviewed person spoke as if real life hardships didn't exist. Other times, the mention of getting a coach or a mentor came up, and while many people would love to get one, it's not that easy and their services aren't accessible, financially and location-wise. Which brings me to the point where I read mostly great advice yet thinking that some were utopic and difficult to access. Perhaps, the preconception was that the targeted audience would be financially stable and living a comfortable life. It's quite possible, and if so, everything will read normal to you. If you're struggling or don't have a lot of savings, then some parts will leave you like: 'If only I could'.
BUT this book is sooo helpful. I have so many saved bookmarks it will be a joy to go over. It has put into words many issues and problems that I've struggled to define or be comfortable with. Like saying no, etc. I especially loved the section about anchors and engines. Readers, keep your eyes on that one. It will open your mind. I did love this book, and I do strongly recommend this to all women. I'm already on the process of doing that. This book is very informative and authentic and conveys its message in a succinct, easy to process and relate kind of way. You'll find yourself nodding along a lot.
Great self-help book written by an incredibly inspiring woman whom I now consider an idol to aspire to. It's definitely a must-read that I will be re-reading many, many times.
4.5 stars – ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5
Author: Elayne Fluker
Publisher: HarperCollins Leadership
As a woman who puts way too much on her shoulders and fills her Goals List thinking she's an immortal goddess with infinite time and energy, this book was like a beautiful oasis in a very busy desert.
What I loved the most was how she weaved narrating parts of her life into the book, as well as the fact that she included interviews with so many inspiring people. The book really conveys its message through different perspectives. There are sections told by 'clients' who got help and explain their issues and what helped them, which was a tremendous help because they put into words issues I struggled to define. Other sections were told by 'specialists' who outlined what to do and general advice on how to approach things. I found both types of sections very helpful and informative.
However, at times, I did feel like some parts were a little utopic. An interviewed person mentioned how we're not victims of our circumstances and that God made us in a way that everything we can create in this world is unlimited. I do agree with the general concept the author introduces in that section, that each person is a possibility, but that interviewed person spoke as if real life hardships didn't exist. Other times, the mention of getting a coach or a mentor came up, and while many people would love to get one, it's not that easy and their services aren't accessible, financially and location-wise. Which brings me to the point where I read mostly great advice yet thinking that some were utopic and difficult to access. Perhaps, the preconception was that the targeted audience would be financially stable and living a comfortable life. It's quite possible, and if so, everything will read normal to you. If you're struggling or don't have a lot of savings, then some parts will leave you like: 'If only I could'.
BUT this book is sooo helpful. I have so many saved bookmarks it will be a joy to go over. It has put into words many issues and problems that I've struggled to define or be comfortable with. Like saying no, etc. I especially loved the section about anchors and engines. Readers, keep your eyes on that one. It will open your mind. I did love this book, and I do strongly recommend this to all women. I'm already on the process of doing that. This book is very informative and authentic and conveys its message in a succinct, easy to process and relate kind of way. You'll find yourself nodding along a lot.
Great self-help book written by an incredibly inspiring woman whom I now consider an idol to aspire to. It's definitely a must-read that I will be re-reading many, many times.
4.5 stars – ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5
Author: Elayne Fluker
Publisher: HarperCollins Leadership
April 11, 2021
Thank you to Netgalley and HarperCollins Leadership for the review copy. Although I received this book as a review copy, are all of my words honest, and I do only give my true opinions.
“Get over ‘I got it’!. What a great title! Right? I thought so because it says it all: it is okay not to be perfect, and it is okay to ask for help. And this is something a lot of us can get better at doing.
This is a very unique take on the usual 'self-help books'. I like the twist on it about accepting help from others. I feel like this is something most of us tend to forget, so this book was a good reminder for me and could be a great reminder for you as well.
I love how Elayne Fluker uses herself in the book as well as other people to explain this topic. It makes the book more personal and relatable.
Elayne Fluker asks some good and reflective questions in this book, which will help you reflect on your life. And she helps you get over the 'I-got-it-syndrome', as she calls it.
You do not have to play superwoman! You do not have to reach your goals alone! It can be hard to ask for help sometimes, but it is worth it! The book gives you some techniques that will help you and try to teach you how to do so. There is no easy way to do so, but this book will send you off in the right direction.
It is okay to ask for help! It is okay to prioritize! It is okay to be just a human!
“Get over ‘I got it’!. What a great title! Right? I thought so because it says it all: it is okay not to be perfect, and it is okay to ask for help. And this is something a lot of us can get better at doing.
This is a very unique take on the usual 'self-help books'. I like the twist on it about accepting help from others. I feel like this is something most of us tend to forget, so this book was a good reminder for me and could be a great reminder for you as well.
I love how Elayne Fluker uses herself in the book as well as other people to explain this topic. It makes the book more personal and relatable.
Elayne Fluker asks some good and reflective questions in this book, which will help you reflect on your life. And she helps you get over the 'I-got-it-syndrome', as she calls it.
You do not have to play superwoman! You do not have to reach your goals alone! It can be hard to ask for help sometimes, but it is worth it! The book gives you some techniques that will help you and try to teach you how to do so. There is no easy way to do so, but this book will send you off in the right direction.
It is okay to ask for help! It is okay to prioritize! It is okay to be just a human!
August 20, 2021
A few key takeaways from this book really stood out to me:
- The power and importance of community. I loved, loved, loved this aspect, especially as I read it mid-pandemic, where it's all too easy for this introvert to turn too far inward, to my own detriment.
- Everyone is on a different journey, rendering the comparison game ineffective and, frankly, detrimental (don't give in to playing the "should" game!)
- Everyone's "all" will look different, both from each other's and even from our own at different points in life. It's okay and healthy to change!
The author and I diverge wildly in other arenas (worldview, religion/faith, etc.), and that also impacted my read of the book. Self (or the universe) vs. God as source, for example, challenged me to do some filtering and reorienting the list of defining one's "all." That did make for an interesting exercise, to be sure!
The law of attraction, manifestation, and other eastern/mystical components are present throughout the read. Something to be aware of, whether one finds that appealing or less so (I personally lean toward the latter).
I received an eARC of the book from the publisher. All opinions are my own.
- The power and importance of community. I loved, loved, loved this aspect, especially as I read it mid-pandemic, where it's all too easy for this introvert to turn too far inward, to my own detriment.
- Everyone is on a different journey, rendering the comparison game ineffective and, frankly, detrimental (don't give in to playing the "should" game!)
- Everyone's "all" will look different, both from each other's and even from our own at different points in life. It's okay and healthy to change!
The author and I diverge wildly in other arenas (worldview, religion/faith, etc.), and that also impacted my read of the book. Self (or the universe) vs. God as source, for example, challenged me to do some filtering and reorienting the list of defining one's "all." That did make for an interesting exercise, to be sure!
The law of attraction, manifestation, and other eastern/mystical components are present throughout the read. Something to be aware of, whether one finds that appealing or less so (I personally lean toward the latter).
I received an eARC of the book from the publisher. All opinions are my own.
January 13, 2021
Wow - where to begin? Elayne Fluker takes on the "I Got It" mentality that leads many women to burnout. From my own experience, as well as others (family, friends, colleagues, students) I know this oh so well. Elayne gives down to earth and relatable advice on how to get over this and ask for help. There were SO many pieces of wisdom, I cannot wait for this book to come out so I can recommend it to friends and students. She starts with having you "define your all", focusing on different aspects of your life (finance, career, health, relationships, personal development, and impact). I appreciated the specificity and overall the direction the book took through a mix of advice, research, and stories woven in. I would HIGHLY recommend this book.
Thank you to NetGalley for providing an advance reader copy to review!
Thank you to NetGalley for providing an advance reader copy to review!
August 22, 2021
What allows Fluker's book to stand out amongst other self-help books is the fact that it addresses key factors that are often not taken into account. Fluker discusses the assumptions that you can do it all on your own as a Black woman or achieve a perfect balance as a working mother. Much of Fluker's focus is on the fact that we need to be willing and open to accept help from others. This runs so counter to our American culture of achieving it all and doing it all by ourselves. The only thing about this book that I didn't feel hit home with me was the fact that Fluker's book seemed more directed towards entrepreneurs and those in the business world. As an educator, some aspects weren't applicable to me.
Want to read
September 29, 2021I am a big fan of personal development books and always love finding a new voice and perspective. Author and business leader Elayne Fluker's reminder that we don't have to go at it alone is something that has never felt more relevant. And this especially applies to female leaders, whether that is in the workforce, community or home life.
My biggest takeaway from this book is normalizing asking for help and delegating responsibilities. No one can go at it alone, and together we can be even better. I really enjoyed Fluker's writing style (very straight forward and accessible) and really look forward to hearing more from her in the future.
Thank you to Harper Collins Leadership for my gifted review copy.
My biggest takeaway from this book is normalizing asking for help and delegating responsibilities. No one can go at it alone, and together we can be even better. I really enjoyed Fluker's writing style (very straight forward and accessible) and really look forward to hearing more from her in the future.
Thank you to Harper Collins Leadership for my gifted review copy.
October 31, 2021
I am an oldest daughter, and one that has always had to make sure everything was handled. I picked this book to review in hopes that it would help me get unstuck in a way. This was probably just not the book for me. I understood the instructions and suggestions the author provided, and it's not asking for help (sometimes) that's the issue, but the reliable and support people is a big issue, at least it is for me. And again, this might be a bigger issue for me that requires more assistance. I do have to say the suggestions seem doable in most situations, but judge the book for yourself.
I received a copy of the book via NetGalley and am voluntarily leaving my honest review.
I received a copy of the book via NetGalley and am voluntarily leaving my honest review.
April 15, 2021
I am not a great fan of self help books, mainly for they frequently seem to be about what the author thinks we want to read instead of what we need to read.
However, I must admit that as an "I Got It" person, Elaine Fluker s advice (particularly the exercises at the beginning of the book) really helped opening my mind to the little things I could do to improve my everyday life without completely losing myself (one step at a time we can do great).
Thank you Negalley for providing an eARC in exchange of an honest review.
However, I must admit that as an "I Got It" person, Elaine Fluker s advice (particularly the exercises at the beginning of the book) really helped opening my mind to the little things I could do to improve my everyday life without completely losing myself (one step at a time we can do great).
Thank you Negalley for providing an eARC in exchange of an honest review.
October 16, 2021
I am a better person after immersing myself in Elayne Fluker’s wise, practical, and encouragement to GET OVER “I GOT IT.” It was not only enriching as a daily morning starter; it was thought-provoking in a self-assessment kind of way of looking at how I have been, how I am, and how I want to be. Definitely a value-adding read!
November 25, 2023
Entering our 'soft girl' era is easier said than done.
Chapters that resonated with me
4. Retire your cape
6. Stop being the strong one
10. Reinvent with support
I highly recommend for those who need a little push to step out of their normal habits.
I ordered the paperback for my mother to help with her stress.
Chapters that resonated with me
4. Retire your cape
6. Stop being the strong one
10. Reinvent with support
I highly recommend for those who need a little push to step out of their normal habits.
I ordered the paperback for my mother to help with her stress.
September 21, 2021
This book was something that I needed, someone to tell me that I'm not superwoman and that it is ok to ask for help and to change my goals. It was really encouraging. Thanks HarperCollins Leadership through NetGalley for this opportunity.
January 17, 2022
I enjoyed reading this book. There were good points made throughout the book. It was easy to read. However, I was left feeling like something was missing. I felt like I wanted a little more from this book than it offered. All in all, it was a good read.
December 17, 2020
How frustrating is it to be told by all the different sources the things you must do to be successful in life? This book definitely does NOT do that. It instead takes an empathetic approach and gives bite size approaches and allows you to have kindness and patience with yourself when dealing with life. This is so necessary for everyone to read in life. I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
January 11, 2022
A must read for those who want to be more with more
January 14, 2023
Loved the narrative and tone of this book. I felt the advice was genuine and things you could really apply to life TODAY. NOTHING in this book was dated or one level narrative.
November 30, 2025
In a nutshell, the book "Get over 'I Got it': How to Stop Playing Superwoman" by Elayne Fluker was exactly as you would expect. No new information here.
September 18, 2022
I love a good self help book, and this did not disappoint! It was great to walk thru Elayne’s journey with her and to hear some of the struggles that she had.
As I walk more into my self help journey, I am realizing how much it has been normalized of women (especially black women) doing it all. Almost like a badge of honor! This cape that we wear and our desire to handle it all is just killing us! We have to let it go, ask for help and focus on what it important.
I was able to take a few tips to take away from this & what I learned will help me to be more mindful of my everyday interactions to help protect my peace.
As I walk more into my self help journey, I am realizing how much it has been normalized of women (especially black women) doing it all. Almost like a badge of honor! This cape that we wear and our desire to handle it all is just killing us! We have to let it go, ask for help and focus on what it important.
I was able to take a few tips to take away from this & what I learned will help me to be more mindful of my everyday interactions to help protect my peace.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews