How not to fuck up your marriage too bad

by Stephen Marche

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Self Help, Relationships

Unknown Binding

About the author

Stephen Marche is the author of The Unmade Bed (2016), The Hunger of the Wolf (2015), Love and the Mess We’re In (2013), How Shakespeare Changed Everything (2012), Shining at the Bottom of the Sea (2007) and Raymond and Hannah (2005). He's written for nearly every newspaper and magazine you can name.

Reviews

[The Cats’ Mother · Rating 4 out of 5]

How Not to F*** Up Your Marriage Too Bad is an Audible Original podcast series available free with a subscription, by a Canadian writer and columnist. It’s a light-hearted look at a serious topic, and features interviews with experts and ordinary people, personal anecdotes, and observations. Marche is not a psychologist, counsellor or therapist, and nor does he claim to be. I listened to this while running over about a two month period (I’m managing about one run a week lately!) I chose it out of curiosity, not because I have any concerns about my marriage 😺

Spread over ten episodes which are each about half an hour long, Marche begins with the reasons why people get married and some interesting sociopolitical facts about modern marriage in North America. He himself is happily married and has been for a long time, of which fact he reminds us frequently. There’s a chapter on what draws couples together - and keeps them together, a couple about sex - including, provocatively, “Can we F*ck Other People?” (the answer is, it depends...) He then covers marital fighting, money, religious differences, how to live together - or not, whether to just get divorced, and wraps it up a bit depressingly with a chapter about death of a spouse.

Marche has a friendly engaging voice (who doesn’t love a Canadian accent) and makes lots of interesting points. I’ve been married fifteen years, together for nineteen - I did have to travel to the opposite side of the planet to find him, but we were lucky enough to turn out to have very compatible goals, personalities, attitudes to money, children (feline are better than human), religion (ie none), and politics. We also have similar family backgrounds (it’s possibly not a coincidence that both our parents stayed married all their adult lives) and both grew up with two siblings all close together in age. He’s also still really cute. And contrary to Marche’s assertion that everybody fights, we really don’t.

Overall, I think this would be a worthwhile listen for anyone thinking about getting married, or wondering if their marriage is normal, or possibly even who’s marriage didn’t work out. It’s not a self-help guide for people whose marriage is in trouble. The audiobook was easy to listen to (I had it sped up to 1.3x) and I would listen to him again.

[Nasos Kladakis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun read. Exactly what was expecting. It made me think, smile, laugh, discuss with my wife and friends and even cry. I recommend it.

[Cassandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

This podcast series was awesome. I’m not married, but as a result of some overthinking I was feeling a little stressed about my current relationship. It was really excellent in terms of offering advice that anyone can soak up, my favourite episode was “How Do I Pick?” Which was all about how we choose our partners, my favourite piece of commentary came from Dr Helen Fisher, who invented this personality quiz that determines your personality and how you & your partner fit together on an intellectual level. I learned that my type is high estrogen, where my boyfriend is high testosterone, we are opposites but we attract, and very well. Super interesting. I really enjoyed this series, and I highly recommend it for anyone that’s looking for solid relationship advice.

[S. Kallahan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of interesting stories and points throughout.

[Nerene · Rating 4 out of 5]

This podcast set the platform for hubby and I to have very good discussions. I really enjoyed and appreciated this podcast series.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most of these episodes were so relevant for me in our 13+ year marriage. Funny. True. Raw.
My husband and I are now relistening to the relevant episodes together to kick start some necessary conversations.

[Arcopol Chaudhuri · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an Audible Original. Listening to it felt like going to therapy. The fun sort. Recommended listening for married couples -- both happy and unhappy. Some very poignant moments -- especially in the final episode.

[Annette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty good, 3.5 -- I appreciate the interviews with well educated/experienced therapists and researchers, as well as the author's input. This book presents a lot of straight talk that I'd welcome from a good friend, bolstered by expert input, but my friends probably wouldn't tell me this kind of thing. Respect that Marche doesn't romanticize marriage, or much of anything, really -- sensible, practical reflections to think about. Doesn't necessarily have to apply just to marriage -- lots of good material here about relationships in general, although marriage is central to the title and the content.

[Maryann Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been married eleven years and can fairly confidently say this series touches upon literally everything you will encounter while married (happily, or unhappily). I know it talks about 'marriage', but I'd highly recommend it to people who're considering getting married, as it will give you a lot of insight into the life altering decision they are about to make. The series is deep, and profound and gives you a lot to think about. It was also highly addictive, I binged my way through it. The last episode in particular was extremely moving.

[Mahmoud Ashour · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very nice book about how to build a strong marriage (the book discusses the main reasons that couples fight about like money, sex, house chores and mess etc...). It also sheds light on the different types of marriages (mixed marriages, open marriages, monogamish and living apart marriages!); I definitely learned about different ways people manage their differences. The book ends with a bang which is marriage after death of a partner it was a very strong chapter. I highly recommend this book for everyone

[Ursula Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a series about marriage and various stages including: the wedding, living together, sex, money, divorce and even death. It left out one major option, the decision to have kids. This just assumed like most that everyone wants kids and the option not to would never come up. I consider that a major issue since the presenter claimed he was presenting varied viewpoints. It included comments from real couples and experts on relationships.

[Theodore Kopoukis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't suggest this enough to anyone I know, whether married or not, in a relationship or not. It gives many things to consider, many stories and points of view on various relationship issues, such as religion, finances, infidelity, how to argue/fight, and most of all, things to discuss with your significant other. It is not meant to take the place of a couples counselor, but it puts things into perspective and helps build a framework of communication for any couple.

[Aylya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very interesting podcast. Recommending to anyone interested in marriage :)

[John Fox · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty good has some good tips and advice, recommended for all relationships not just marriages.

[Sschallr · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was actually a fun book about all the different marital quandaries out there and how a multitude of marriages negotiate them.

[Amber Zrust · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful, relatable, will definitely be listening to this again.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best way to digest relationship information, some humor, various view points and realistic situations. Well done!

[Kerry · Rating 3 out of 5]

Finished March 2024. GOOD