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Quick & Easy Guides
A Quick & Easy Guide to Asexuality
This book is for anyone who wants to learn about asexuality, and for Ace people themselves, to validate their experiences.
Asexuality is often called The Invisible Orientation. You don’t learn about it in school, you don’t hear “ace” on television. So, it’s kinda hard to be ace in a society so steeped in sex that no one knows you exist. Too many young people grow up believing that their lack of sexual desire means they are broken – so writer Molly Muldoon and cartoonist Will Hernandez, both in the ace community, are here to shed light on society’s misconceptions of asexuality and what being ace is really like. This book is for anyone who wants to learn about asexuality, and for Ace people themselves, to validate their experiences. Asexuality is a real identity and it’s time the world recognizes it. Here’s to being invisible no more!
Asexuality is often called The Invisible Orientation. You don’t learn about it in school, you don’t hear “ace” on television. So, it’s kinda hard to be ace in a society so steeped in sex that no one knows you exist. Too many young people grow up believing that their lack of sexual desire means they are broken – so writer Molly Muldoon and cartoonist Will Hernandez, both in the ace community, are here to shed light on society’s misconceptions of asexuality and what being ace is really like. This book is for anyone who wants to learn about asexuality, and for Ace people themselves, to validate their experiences. Asexuality is a real identity and it’s time the world recognizes it. Here’s to being invisible no more!
72 pages, Paperback
First published March 29, 2022
37 people are currently reading
1400 people want to read
About the author
Molly Muldoon
11 books30 followersMolly Muldoon has been many things in her life: a preschool teacher in Tokyo, a Shakespeare MA student in London, an independent bookseller in Brooklyn, a librarian in training in Dublin and a freelance editor and writer in her hometown of Portland. The (unintentional) connection? Never be something that makes a ton of money. She currently lives in Portland, Oregon with her ridiculous cat, Jamie McKitten.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 514 reviews
June 8, 2022
"People feel a whole mess of different ways, but if they share a common thread of not feeling sexual attraction toward people - even if it's only sometimes - they're asexual."
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
ARC from Netgalley
❗Spoiler-free❗
This was one of the best ARCs I've ever read. Seriously, I'm on some super-awesome book streak, right now. My first three picks of the year were all ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. *fingers crossed* it doesn't change. Also, you will be glad to know that since this is an ARC review of a short comic as well as spoiler-free, it will be short and to the point.
What better way to educate people on important social concepts than through a FANTASTIC comic like this one. Asexuality is a concept that a lot of people still don't understand. Thankfully, this comic exists. It explains everything one needs to know in order to understand asexual people or 'aces' as they usually like to be called. This comic is thoroughly informative, humorous, easy to understand, and highly HIGHLY important. Everyone should read it.
A Quick & Easy Guide to Asexuality tells you all about what it means to be Asexual and explains the fundamental differences between being Asexual and Aromantic (you can still be both), and the MOST IMPORTANT DIFFERENCES between Asexuality and Trauma. Asexuality is NOT the same as trauma and people should stop confusing the two. Assuming that can cause even greater psychological harm to sexual assault survivors.
I don't know a lot about this author, but I sure hope that she published or will soon publish more awesome books like this one because I am dying to read them all. You most definitely don't need to be asexual to read this comic. On the contrary, this is actually just as useful to people who AREN'T asexual but absolutely should learn what it means to be one.
You should read this, first chance you get. I obviously highly recommend it.
October 18, 2021
Uhuh. So it was generally a good introduction apart from the last part and as someone who spends a lot of energy trying to fight for aces' and aros' rights to belong in the queer spaces, I can't let it slide. It's precisely non-answers like these that lead to more prejudice against aspecs in queer spaces.
Once and for all - A IS NOT FOR ALLY. Ally is not an identity, it's not something you're born, it's an action. A in LGBRQIA+ stands for aromantic, asexual and agender.
I'm so tired of repeating the same thing over and over. And how can it ever stop if even materials made for aces, by aces, don't get the basic facts right?
How can you first say that aces often feel like we don't belong in the cishet world but then say that it's "unclear" if we belong in queer spaces either? There is no separate category for aces, you're allocishet or you're queer, its very simple.
It's a superimportant topic for me as I have opposite experiences to the authors - I've encountered plenty of gatekeeping (and straight up aphobia including offers of conversion therapy) from the offline queer communities. At the same time, online spaces were always very inclusive and welcoming in my experience.
I said it before and I'll say it again, okay? I'm tired. I just spent half of Saturday at a meeting arguing that non-answers like "you can belong in queer spaces but... " are aphobic and lead to aspecs having zero legal protections (unlike the LGBTQI community in Sweden) and asexuality not being recognized as an official sexuality but instead being continously treated as a medical curiosity that needs to be cured (that's called conversion therapy, fyi). I don't need to hear the same non-answers from a book that's meant for me, written by my oan community.
Why couldn't it elaborate on these issues? Why couldn't it tackle gatekeeping and aphobia in queer spaces? Why not focus on importance of self-identification and especially about the feelings of heteroromantic aces and demis? It would have been so much better than the "it's unclear but you're always welcome" which is plain bullshit.
Writing it all down made me lower it down by one more star. Also, there were some unnecessary gender binaries thrown in.
***Thanks NetGalley for the ARC***
Once and for all - A IS NOT FOR ALLY. Ally is not an identity, it's not something you're born, it's an action. A in LGBRQIA+ stands for aromantic, asexual and agender.
I'm so tired of repeating the same thing over and over. And how can it ever stop if even materials made for aces, by aces, don't get the basic facts right?
How can you first say that aces often feel like we don't belong in the cishet world but then say that it's "unclear" if we belong in queer spaces either? There is no separate category for aces, you're allocishet or you're queer, its very simple.
It's a superimportant topic for me as I have opposite experiences to the authors - I've encountered plenty of gatekeeping (and straight up aphobia including offers of conversion therapy) from the offline queer communities. At the same time, online spaces were always very inclusive and welcoming in my experience.
I said it before and I'll say it again, okay? I'm tired. I just spent half of Saturday at a meeting arguing that non-answers like "you can belong in queer spaces but... " are aphobic and lead to aspecs having zero legal protections (unlike the LGBTQI community in Sweden) and asexuality not being recognized as an official sexuality but instead being continously treated as a medical curiosity that needs to be cured (that's called conversion therapy, fyi). I don't need to hear the same non-answers from a book that's meant for me, written by my oan community.
Why couldn't it elaborate on these issues? Why couldn't it tackle gatekeeping and aphobia in queer spaces? Why not focus on importance of self-identification and especially about the feelings of heteroromantic aces and demis? It would have been so much better than the "it's unclear but you're always welcome" which is plain bullshit.
Writing it all down made me lower it down by one more star. Also, there were some unnecessary gender binaries thrown in.
***Thanks NetGalley for the ARC***
February 8, 2022
I myself am an allosexual, which is a new word I learned from this book! It basically means I'm not asexual. I am however interested in understanding what asexuality and aromanticism are, and this book is, as the title says, a quick and easy start to more understanding. Not only are the very definitions of these terms explained clearly, there is a look at what asexual/aromantic life is like (not that different to allosexual life, you won't be surprised to read). The book disproves wrong preconceptions. and explains some difficulty surrounding acceptance in the queer community.
I have some issues with the art and structure. The art does the job, but it's also quite plain. I'm in two minds about these books - they're supposed to be easy to pick up and get into, and the book certainly is that, but I'm not a fan of the 'talking heads' sort of presentation these books tend to fall back on. So you get two cartoon versions representing the author and artist, talking directly to the reader. Surely there could be something more artful that could be done, without losing any of the directness and clarity?
(Thanks to Oni Press for providing me with an ARC through NetGalley)
I have some issues with the art and structure. The art does the job, but it's also quite plain. I'm in two minds about these books - they're supposed to be easy to pick up and get into, and the book certainly is that, but I'm not a fan of the 'talking heads' sort of presentation these books tend to fall back on. So you get two cartoon versions representing the author and artist, talking directly to the reader. Surely there could be something more artful that could be done, without losing any of the directness and clarity?
(Thanks to Oni Press for providing me with an ARC through NetGalley)
February 9, 2022
[3.5] Full disclosure: I’m someone who flirts with the demisexual label, and I say flirts because I’ve never found labels necessary for me personally—I just feel what I feel, and if others can’t understand, that’s on them—but I recognize their purpose for others who choose to identity themselves that way.
What I really liked about this brief introduction to asexuality is that it’s educational but never clinical. The mix of explanations with personal anecdotes is very well done (such as the feeling of having to justify yourself at doctor’s appointments in response to certain questions), and topped with the fun comic style, the content proved to be far more digestible than your standard Wikipedia wall of text. They also took the time to address some common misconceptions and stereotypes floating around in the media/general public, like “you’re just choosing not to have sex” or that all asexuals don’t have sex. This is where my absolute favorite metaphor comes in: “If you can eat when you’re not hungry, then you can have sex without being sexually attracted to someone.”
A bit of a lightbulb moment for me. Don’t mind me using this easy as cake explanation irl 😌🍰
But once again, it’s a wide spectrum, and it’s crucial to remember that some individuals don’t want sex at all and that’s okay too!
I’m not exactly as active in the community as I could be so I don’t know enough of the nitty-gritty to have a leg to stand on when it comes to the discussion of A in LGBTQIA+, but I do fear they might’ve alienated some members in their misguided(?) effort to be more inclusive.
With these short guides, you’re bound to want more info and/or get nitpicky with the scope of definitions (ex. demisexuality was mentioned but more in terms of the author’s experience and seemed to only mention attraction, not necessarily sexual, but how I identify with the term is I don’t experience sexual attraction unless there’s already an emotional bond with the person in place. In other words, I can experience sexual attraction under the right circumstances), but I’d say this is a pretty decent jumping off point for beginners. I will surely be checking out the resources they provided at the end to learn more!
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review 🏳️🌈
What I really liked about this brief introduction to asexuality is that it’s educational but never clinical. The mix of explanations with personal anecdotes is very well done (such as the feeling of having to justify yourself at doctor’s appointments in response to certain questions), and topped with the fun comic style, the content proved to be far more digestible than your standard Wikipedia wall of text. They also took the time to address some common misconceptions and stereotypes floating around in the media/general public, like “you’re just choosing not to have sex” or that all asexuals don’t have sex. This is where my absolute favorite metaphor comes in: “If you can eat when you’re not hungry, then you can have sex without being sexually attracted to someone.”
A bit of a lightbulb moment for me. Don’t mind me using this easy as cake explanation irl 😌🍰
But once again, it’s a wide spectrum, and it’s crucial to remember that some individuals don’t want sex at all and that’s okay too!
I’m not exactly as active in the community as I could be so I don’t know enough of the nitty-gritty to have a leg to stand on when it comes to the discussion of A in LGBTQIA+, but I do fear they might’ve alienated some members in their misguided(?) effort to be more inclusive.
With these short guides, you’re bound to want more info and/or get nitpicky with the scope of definitions (ex. demisexuality was mentioned but more in terms of the author’s experience and seemed to only mention attraction, not necessarily sexual, but how I identify with the term is I don’t experience sexual attraction unless there’s already an emotional bond with the person in place. In other words, I can experience sexual attraction under the right circumstances), but I’d say this is a pretty decent jumping off point for beginners. I will surely be checking out the resources they provided at the end to learn more!
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review 🏳️🌈
October 12, 2021
I really wish I had something like Molly Muldoon and Will Hernandez’ A Quick and Easy Guide to Asexuality when I was struggling to figure myself out. I did not hear the term asexual outside of very specific conversations about cellular reproduction. When I did start hearing the term in relation to human sexuality I initially confused it with androgyny, which is an entirely different thing. Fellow Cannonballers started reviewing Angela Chen’s Ace and I was very curious. Further investigation gave me an almost cartoonish lightbulb moment when suddenly SO MANY THINGS made sense. Anyway, it would have been very nice if I had realized not really being sexually attracted was a thing and not a problem to be fixed a few decades ago. I feel like I owe a few exes an apology.
Coincidentally, it’s National Coming Out Day, and this is me, coming out as Ace. Specifically, somewhere in the aro-ace corner. I’m not going to worry about it too much because at this point in my life it’s largely irrelevant.
But back to Molly Muldoon and Will Hernandez’ A Quick and Easy Guide to Asexuality. It is a lovely and joyful short comic doing exactly what it says on the tin – providing a quick introductory guide to asexuality. At this point, I’ve moved beyond this level of introduction, but even two years ago, I could have used this. I liked the friendly artwork. I liked breadth of covered topics. I liked the very clear message that we are all more than our labels, and that attraction and love are a spectrum. This would be an excellent addition to any library where teens and young adults (or older adults who had no idea asexuality was a thing) are looking for information.
This lovely little book is out in late March of 2022. Plenty of time to pre-order or suggest to your local library.
Thank you to NetGalley and Limerence Press for the advance reader copy. My opinions are my own.
Coincidentally, it’s National Coming Out Day, and this is me, coming out as Ace. Specifically, somewhere in the aro-ace corner. I’m not going to worry about it too much because at this point in my life it’s largely irrelevant.
But back to Molly Muldoon and Will Hernandez’ A Quick and Easy Guide to Asexuality. It is a lovely and joyful short comic doing exactly what it says on the tin – providing a quick introductory guide to asexuality. At this point, I’ve moved beyond this level of introduction, but even two years ago, I could have used this. I liked the friendly artwork. I liked breadth of covered topics. I liked the very clear message that we are all more than our labels, and that attraction and love are a spectrum. This would be an excellent addition to any library where teens and young adults (or older adults who had no idea asexuality was a thing) are looking for information.
This lovely little book is out in late March of 2022. Plenty of time to pre-order or suggest to your local library.
Thank you to NetGalley and Limerence Press for the advance reader copy. My opinions are my own.
October 25, 2021
Content Warning: Discussion of misrepresentation of asexuality and centering of allo-cis-het comfort within this work.
At first blush, "A Quick & Easy Guide to Asexuality," seems like an amazing idea. There's good intention behind it and a genuine desire to share important and sometimes difficult to find information in a positive forum. However, this book trips a bit in the execution, and while I appreciate the want to help others understand the topic better, feels like it takes the approach of viewing (or at least appealing more to) the allo cis het population more so than the ace community it wants to discuss.
There are definitely some solid explanations within this book, and bits and pieces could be taken to use to educate those who have just begun there journey, either into exploring asexuality for themselves or as an ally.
One of the issues is that this graphic novel/comic goes out of it's way to separate sexual attraction from sexual action, but then proceeds to conflate the two immediately after it, stating "While others feel romantic attraction to people but don't have any desire to have sex or do sexual activities with them. Those people are asexual." They also go on to explain the difference between ace and aro as one wanting the sex without the romance and the other wanting the romance without the sex and, to it's credit, expands on that as well, but it's still leaning heavily on action when it should be talking about attraction. If there's to be a clear line between attraction and action, then there shouldn't be a discussion of action in a way that muddies the truth. While this feels more like bad wording than an intentional change in tone, it is still confusing and obscures things further.
They also mentioned "ally" in the LGBTQIA+, and do nothing to actually dispel it. The 'A' isn't for ally. It never was, and this feels like it DOES matter. The comic also goes on to have one of the main characters state that they have "never felt unwelcomed in queer spaces in real life," which, if that is their experience, that's fine, but the LGBTQIA+ community has a number of big issues involving ace & aro silencing/phobia/erasure, and to pretend that it doesn't, even in this simplified explanation, does a real disservice to the book as a whole. The comic seems to reinforce the idea that allosexuals outside of the LGBTQIA+ community are to blame.
Overall, I wanted to like this more. It definitely has its merits but a good number of flaws begin to overshadow them by the end of the book.
Note: I received a complementary copy of this book via NetGalley and am leaving a voluntary review.
At first blush, "A Quick & Easy Guide to Asexuality," seems like an amazing idea. There's good intention behind it and a genuine desire to share important and sometimes difficult to find information in a positive forum. However, this book trips a bit in the execution, and while I appreciate the want to help others understand the topic better, feels like it takes the approach of viewing (or at least appealing more to) the allo cis het population more so than the ace community it wants to discuss.
There are definitely some solid explanations within this book, and bits and pieces could be taken to use to educate those who have just begun there journey, either into exploring asexuality for themselves or as an ally.
One of the issues is that this graphic novel/comic goes out of it's way to separate sexual attraction from sexual action, but then proceeds to conflate the two immediately after it, stating "While others feel romantic attraction to people but don't have any desire to have sex or do sexual activities with them. Those people are asexual." They also go on to explain the difference between ace and aro as one wanting the sex without the romance and the other wanting the romance without the sex and, to it's credit, expands on that as well, but it's still leaning heavily on action when it should be talking about attraction. If there's to be a clear line between attraction and action, then there shouldn't be a discussion of action in a way that muddies the truth. While this feels more like bad wording than an intentional change in tone, it is still confusing and obscures things further.
They also mentioned "ally" in the LGBTQIA+, and do nothing to actually dispel it. The 'A' isn't for ally. It never was, and this feels like it DOES matter. The comic also goes on to have one of the main characters state that they have "never felt unwelcomed in queer spaces in real life," which, if that is their experience, that's fine, but the LGBTQIA+ community has a number of big issues involving ace & aro silencing/phobia/erasure, and to pretend that it doesn't, even in this simplified explanation, does a real disservice to the book as a whole. The comic seems to reinforce the idea that allosexuals outside of the LGBTQIA+ community are to blame.
Overall, I wanted to like this more. It definitely has its merits but a good number of flaws begin to overshadow them by the end of the book.
Note: I received a complementary copy of this book via NetGalley and am leaving a voluntary review.
October 30, 2021
A brief intro to a topic I knew little about, accessibly brought.
I breezed through a A Quick & Easy Guide to Asexuality after being approved for the ARC. Asexuality as an orientation is rather invisible in mainstream media the authors note, and this triggered me to find out more. The book is very accessibly written, well suited on a young demography that is finding out if they are "normal" or not. The spectrum of romantic and sexual orientation is explained easily, and the cake metaphor used is something that sticks. All varieties or nuances are hard to cover in less than 80 pages, but Demisexual would have been something I would have liked a bit more background about, and in general I feel something about history or prevalence rates would have helped putting everything in a broader context. But maybe that is something easier incorporated into the Wikipedia article on this topic than a more personal approach applied to this book, with the authors telling something about their own orientation and experiences.
An important little book, to make one think about how our society is unwittingly very much organised around sexuality, but especially as a potential resource for anyone trying to make sense of oneself.
I breezed through a A Quick & Easy Guide to Asexuality after being approved for the ARC. Asexuality as an orientation is rather invisible in mainstream media the authors note, and this triggered me to find out more. The book is very accessibly written, well suited on a young demography that is finding out if they are "normal" or not. The spectrum of romantic and sexual orientation is explained easily, and the cake metaphor used is something that sticks. All varieties or nuances are hard to cover in less than 80 pages, but Demisexual would have been something I would have liked a bit more background about, and in general I feel something about history or prevalence rates would have helped putting everything in a broader context. But maybe that is something easier incorporated into the Wikipedia article on this topic than a more personal approach applied to this book, with the authors telling something about their own orientation and experiences.
An important little book, to make one think about how our society is unwittingly very much organised around sexuality, but especially as a potential resource for anyone trying to make sense of oneself.
Read
April 27, 2022This is a super great guide if it's only used as the most basic of basics for allos. I liked the illustrations and the general flow of the book worked well. I definitely want to throw this at people who are super unfamiliar with asexuality and know very little. This is a great book to give to like family friends and coworkers to help them learn a little bit more. It's only 80 pages and a very quick read. When I came out as Ace a lot of people asked me how they could load more and this is a great quick easy resource.
My singular issue with this book though is that there's an opportunity here to plainly and clearly declare that the A stands for asexual, aromantic, and agender but this book doesn't do that. It flirts around the object and instead of making a declarative statement that the A is for asexual, aromantic, and agender, It also makes a point that the A could stand for ally. Don't get me wrong, allies are necessary and needed but they are not queer and the A is not for them. It honestly put me off this book for this one part which is so frustrating because the rest of it is wonderful. The fact that it's written by two ace people, this shouldn't have happened. The A is not for Ally. Asexuality is inherently queer, and to not have that cemented as a fact in this book is honestly kind of harmful. They talk about different forms of aphobia yet fail to realize that by not making the statement the A is for asexuality (and aromantic and agender) , that they are just putting more misinformation and confusion into the world. So in case you're confused, the A in LGBTQIAP+ is NOT for ally, it is for asexual, aromantic, and agender.
As a whole this is a good guide and I understand that you can't cover everything, but I wish there had been a little bit more coverage for sex repulsed aces and less of the " asexuals can still have sex/asexuals can still have relationships " It is important to celebrate all varieties of asexuality, and that includes the people who are sex repulsed or who never want to have sex.
Dear fellow sex repulsed aces, you do not have to compromise and you absolutely can still find a romantic relationship or a platonic relationship without any sex if that is what you want.
My singular issue with this book though is that there's an opportunity here to plainly and clearly declare that the A stands for asexual, aromantic, and agender but this book doesn't do that. It flirts around the object and instead of making a declarative statement that the A is for asexual, aromantic, and agender, It also makes a point that the A could stand for ally. Don't get me wrong, allies are necessary and needed but they are not queer and the A is not for them. It honestly put me off this book for this one part which is so frustrating because the rest of it is wonderful. The fact that it's written by two ace people, this shouldn't have happened. The A is not for Ally. Asexuality is inherently queer, and to not have that cemented as a fact in this book is honestly kind of harmful. They talk about different forms of aphobia yet fail to realize that by not making the statement the A is for asexuality (and aromantic and agender) , that they are just putting more misinformation and confusion into the world. So in case you're confused, the A in LGBTQIAP+ is NOT for ally, it is for asexual, aromantic, and agender.
As a whole this is a good guide and I understand that you can't cover everything, but I wish there had been a little bit more coverage for sex repulsed aces and less of the " asexuals can still have sex/asexuals can still have relationships " It is important to celebrate all varieties of asexuality, and that includes the people who are sex repulsed or who never want to have sex.
Dear fellow sex repulsed aces, you do not have to compromise and you absolutely can still find a romantic relationship or a platonic relationship without any sex if that is what you want.
January 29, 2023
I came out of this more confused than when I went in.
I was hoping for something illuminating like Gender Queer: A Memoir.
Perhaps I should pick up Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex.
The only thing that made sense to me was the part where they were talking about asexual stereotypes. Hence the two stars.
I was hoping for something illuminating like Gender Queer: A Memoir.
Perhaps I should pick up Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex.
The only thing that made sense to me was the part where they were talking about asexual stereotypes. Hence the two stars.
December 31, 2024
TW// brief mention of sexual assault, brief mention of depression, brief mention of PTSD, brief mention of anxiety, aphobia
“You are valid.
You aren’t broken.
You’re not alone.”
I’m really happy that not only is there an informative graphic novel about my sexuality, but it’s also written by someone I know!
I felt really seen by this book and a lot of its descriptions. I wish this book had existed when I was a teen and discovering who I was. Will Hernandez’ story of discovering their identity especially resonated with me as it was how I first felt until I found ace representation in books that helped realize there’s nothing wrong with me for being ace.
I also really appreciated the discussion at the end of the book about whether ace people belong in the queer community or not. I do agree with some reviews that that part could’ve been written a little differently, however, a lot of ace people have internalized aphobia and a lot of LGBTQ+ people reject ace people as part of the community (which is aphobic). This can often lead ace people to feel like they can never belong in this community that they’re supposed to be a part of. Some sex-repulsed aces also feel uncomfortable being part of some queer spaces due to sexual images and discussions in those spaces. It’s a complicated discussion and this book only briefly touched on it, but it’s one that’s definitely worth having.
If you know a lot about asexuality, this book may feel like mostly a refresher. However, if you’re new to learning about asexuality or if you simply need reassurance that your asexuality is valid, then this graphic novel is definitely for you.
“You are valid.
You aren’t broken.
You’re not alone.”
I’m really happy that not only is there an informative graphic novel about my sexuality, but it’s also written by someone I know!
I felt really seen by this book and a lot of its descriptions. I wish this book had existed when I was a teen and discovering who I was. Will Hernandez’ story of discovering their identity especially resonated with me as it was how I first felt until I found ace representation in books that helped realize there’s nothing wrong with me for being ace.
I also really appreciated the discussion at the end of the book about whether ace people belong in the queer community or not. I do agree with some reviews that that part could’ve been written a little differently, however, a lot of ace people have internalized aphobia and a lot of LGBTQ+ people reject ace people as part of the community (which is aphobic). This can often lead ace people to feel like they can never belong in this community that they’re supposed to be a part of. Some sex-repulsed aces also feel uncomfortable being part of some queer spaces due to sexual images and discussions in those spaces. It’s a complicated discussion and this book only briefly touched on it, but it’s one that’s definitely worth having.
If you know a lot about asexuality, this book may feel like mostly a refresher. However, if you’re new to learning about asexuality or if you simply need reassurance that your asexuality is valid, then this graphic novel is definitely for you.
November 4, 2021
I was sent this book as an advance copy by the publisher via NetGalley for reviewing purposes, but all opinions are my own.
I think "quick and easy" perfectly describes this. If you're looking for a more nuanced book that goes into depth of every single permutation of the covered topics, this is not it. But it (mostly) does what it promises, and even if you feel like this is too easy for you it might still give you some insight on different experiences than the ones you've personally had, and it's something you can give your allo friends/family to help them understand you better.
I think "quick and easy" perfectly describes this. If you're looking for a more nuanced book that goes into depth of every single permutation of the covered topics, this is not it. But it (mostly) does what it promises, and even if you feel like this is too easy for you it might still give you some insight on different experiences than the ones you've personally had, and it's something you can give your allo friends/family to help them understand you better.
Read
February 9, 2022I honestly would not have read this if not for a netgalley eARC. I saw my fellow aspec friends reading and disliking it, and I lost the desire to read it, assumed my previous request would not be approved after months of it pending, and did not know if or how to take back a request. Then I was approved.
To be clear, I am both asexual and aromantic and these are all of my honest opinions.
I would not recommend this to other aces, while it does some things well, I learned nothing new, and it only enraged me the more I read.
I also would not recommend this to allos (non-aces), since I believe it will do more harm than good by giving so many incorrect impressions of the asexual community.
But first, what did it do well?
• It acknowledges that people can be ace due to trauma;
• Action doesn't equal attraction, aces can and some do have sex;
• The split attraction model;
• The depiction of what it's like going through puberty as an asexual;
• Reassuring aces they're not broken; and
• *Finally* acknowledging that some aces do have some sexual attraction.
Now, what did it not do well?
• The entire vibe is defending aces to allos, not teaching allos about aces (yes, it does "teach" but that shouldn't come bc of having to defend asexuality);
• Defining asexuality as "not feeling sexual attraction" and as a "lack thereof" when the majority of aces prefer the definition as "experiencing little to no sexual attraction" and the majority of aces dislike the term "lack of" because it implies brokenness, which we are neither lacking nor broken;
• Pulling other queer minorities into it saying "if you're this or that identity I'm sure you get lots of weird questions, here's the weird questions we get as aces." Just leave the other people out of it instead of drawing attention to how they're mistreated;
• The implication that all ace people do want romantic relationships & families (I mostly dislike the focus on families here bc they do later discuss aromanticism and how not all aces want romance either);
• The entire cake analogy. Just explain asexuality in terms of sexual attraction, not making cake a metaphor for sex. Sex isn't anything to not talk about so stop making asexuality more "palatable" by taking the sex part out of the discussion;
• The line where one author refers to sex as a "regular human thing." Aces aren't any less "regular" than allos;
• The line where it says aces don't feel a part of the "cisgender heterosexual society" bc of being ace when gender literally has nothing to do with this;
• The suggestion for aces to just simply talk to a counselor... I have been lectured by one therapist who thought I needed to hear how sexuality is fluid and this is only a "phase" for me right now and have been told by another that everyone's interest in my dating life & desire to have or not have kids is "only bc they care about me" (yes, that's also aphobic); and
• THE DEBATE ON ASEXUALITY BEING PART OF THE LGBTQIAP+ COMMUNITY AND SAYING THAT THE A ALSO STANDS FOR ALLY.
We're gonna break that last part down a bit. If you're ace and don't identify with being queer, as is stated by one of the authors, that is VALID. But that doesn't mean the A doesn't stand for asexual. By saying there's no clear answer as to whether or not asexuality is a part of the queer community, you're only creating room for self-doubt for the already anxious asexuals who are questioning whether or not they're accepted. Nobody is required to identify as queer or part of the LGBTQIAP+ community just because their identity is an accepted part of the community, but to be clear, the A DOES stand for asexual, aromantic, and agender. Whether or not someone then identifies as queer is up to them. And also, the A DOES NOT stand for ally. Allies, while great, are not part of the queer community and do not have a letter to denote them in the acronym. Be a good ally by showing how you support us, don't let it be performative-based by being concerned about a letter.
To recap: I would not recommend this book. There are other great resources out there that do a great job of representing the asexual spectrum in a way that does not center around defending aces to allos and does not give false impressions. May I suggest checking out Upside Down by NR Walker, Loveless by Alice Oseman, Hazel's Theory of Evolution by Lisa Jenn Bigelow, Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman, the How to Be duology by TJ Klune, Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe, The Reckless Kind by Carly Heath, and Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand (to name a few of my favorite asexual (and aromantic) books) instead?
CWs: aphobia, harmful stereotypes, mentions of sexual violence, medical discrimination, depression, rejection, invalidation, cyberbullying
This is an honest review in exchange for an eARC from Netgalley and Oni Press. Expected publication date: March 29, 2022.
To be clear, I am both asexual and aromantic and these are all of my honest opinions.
I would not recommend this to other aces, while it does some things well, I learned nothing new, and it only enraged me the more I read.
I also would not recommend this to allos (non-aces), since I believe it will do more harm than good by giving so many incorrect impressions of the asexual community.
But first, what did it do well?
• It acknowledges that people can be ace due to trauma;
• Action doesn't equal attraction, aces can and some do have sex;
• The split attraction model;
• The depiction of what it's like going through puberty as an asexual;
• Reassuring aces they're not broken; and
• *Finally* acknowledging that some aces do have some sexual attraction.
Now, what did it not do well?
• The entire vibe is defending aces to allos, not teaching allos about aces (yes, it does "teach" but that shouldn't come bc of having to defend asexuality);
• Defining asexuality as "not feeling sexual attraction" and as a "lack thereof" when the majority of aces prefer the definition as "experiencing little to no sexual attraction" and the majority of aces dislike the term "lack of" because it implies brokenness, which we are neither lacking nor broken;
• Pulling other queer minorities into it saying "if you're this or that identity I'm sure you get lots of weird questions, here's the weird questions we get as aces." Just leave the other people out of it instead of drawing attention to how they're mistreated;
• The implication that all ace people do want romantic relationships & families (I mostly dislike the focus on families here bc they do later discuss aromanticism and how not all aces want romance either);
• The entire cake analogy. Just explain asexuality in terms of sexual attraction, not making cake a metaphor for sex. Sex isn't anything to not talk about so stop making asexuality more "palatable" by taking the sex part out of the discussion;
• The line where one author refers to sex as a "regular human thing." Aces aren't any less "regular" than allos;
• The line where it says aces don't feel a part of the "cisgender heterosexual society" bc of being ace when gender literally has nothing to do with this;
• The suggestion for aces to just simply talk to a counselor... I have been lectured by one therapist who thought I needed to hear how sexuality is fluid and this is only a "phase" for me right now and have been told by another that everyone's interest in my dating life & desire to have or not have kids is "only bc they care about me" (yes, that's also aphobic); and
• THE DEBATE ON ASEXUALITY BEING PART OF THE LGBTQIAP+ COMMUNITY AND SAYING THAT THE A ALSO STANDS FOR ALLY.
We're gonna break that last part down a bit. If you're ace and don't identify with being queer, as is stated by one of the authors, that is VALID. But that doesn't mean the A doesn't stand for asexual. By saying there's no clear answer as to whether or not asexuality is a part of the queer community, you're only creating room for self-doubt for the already anxious asexuals who are questioning whether or not they're accepted. Nobody is required to identify as queer or part of the LGBTQIAP+ community just because their identity is an accepted part of the community, but to be clear, the A DOES stand for asexual, aromantic, and agender. Whether or not someone then identifies as queer is up to them. And also, the A DOES NOT stand for ally. Allies, while great, are not part of the queer community and do not have a letter to denote them in the acronym. Be a good ally by showing how you support us, don't let it be performative-based by being concerned about a letter.
To recap: I would not recommend this book. There are other great resources out there that do a great job of representing the asexual spectrum in a way that does not center around defending aces to allos and does not give false impressions. May I suggest checking out Upside Down by NR Walker, Loveless by Alice Oseman, Hazel's Theory of Evolution by Lisa Jenn Bigelow, Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman, the How to Be duology by TJ Klune, Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe, The Reckless Kind by Carly Heath, and Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand (to name a few of my favorite asexual (and aromantic) books) instead?
CWs: aphobia, harmful stereotypes, mentions of sexual violence, medical discrimination, depression, rejection, invalidation, cyberbullying
This is an honest review in exchange for an eARC from Netgalley and Oni Press. Expected publication date: March 29, 2022.
October 6, 2021
Thank you to Netgalley for an advance review copy.
Look, I’ve been anticipating this graphic novel for months and was excited to get access to an e-arc but wow, I’m disappointed. While I know the point of quick and easy guides are to be short introductions, this volume lacks nuance that conversations about aspec topics require. The section about whether asexual folx belong in the LGBTQIAP+ community felt like a slap in the face, especially when ace people are consistently gatekept from the community by other queer people. The explanation about identities under the asexual umbrella frankly felt flippant.
Truly I would only recommend this as a primer for allos to get a VERY BASIC understanding of the asexual spectrum, because honestly it’s only written for them. I don’t feel that this volume represented me or my asexual identity in any way. It sucks because like I said, I had been looking so forward to this, but I had to be honest in my thoughts (frankly I’m shaking from anger). It also sucks because there’s so few intro texts about asexuality and ace rep in books (as mentioned in this one) and this one missed the mark so much for me. It’s accessible sure, but at what cost?
Look, I’ve been anticipating this graphic novel for months and was excited to get access to an e-arc but wow, I’m disappointed. While I know the point of quick and easy guides are to be short introductions, this volume lacks nuance that conversations about aspec topics require. The section about whether asexual folx belong in the LGBTQIAP+ community felt like a slap in the face, especially when ace people are consistently gatekept from the community by other queer people. The explanation about identities under the asexual umbrella frankly felt flippant.
Truly I would only recommend this as a primer for allos to get a VERY BASIC understanding of the asexual spectrum, because honestly it’s only written for them. I don’t feel that this volume represented me or my asexual identity in any way. It sucks because like I said, I had been looking so forward to this, but I had to be honest in my thoughts (frankly I’m shaking from anger). It also sucks because there’s so few intro texts about asexuality and ace rep in books (as mentioned in this one) and this one missed the mark so much for me. It’s accessible sure, but at what cost?
January 25, 2022
An amazing and stunning grayscale graphic novel. The title basically says it all. It's a quick and easy guide to asexuality. It covers many basics, such as growing up asexual, dating while asexual, and common myths about asexuality.
I love the style which the authors used in their teaching. I also love that there was a lot of diversity to include many identities under the ace spectrum.
This was REALLY good and it would have gotten five stars but a lot of what's in the book isn't new to me. For further in depth reading I'd recommend Ace by Angela Chen. It's also on the reading list at the end of this graphic novel.
I love the style which the authors used in their teaching. I also love that there was a lot of diversity to include many identities under the ace spectrum.
This was REALLY good and it would have gotten five stars but a lot of what's in the book isn't new to me. For further in depth reading I'd recommend Ace by Angela Chen. It's also on the reading list at the end of this graphic novel.
January 3, 2023
3.75 stars
May 25, 2022
The authors host a tidy little introduction to asexuality filled with facts and their own experiences. Good info presented well.
January 4, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review!
Honestly, it's what the title says.
Spoilers ahead.
Gah, I'm so conflicted about this book! On one hand, I think it's so important that there is more awareness about asexuality because there's not much representation in popular media and is so frequently misunderstood. However, I can't help feeling this comic had so much potential and ultimately let me down. I think the biggest issue is it's not clear who the target audience is. I get that it's meant to be accessible to all ages and that's why the comic format works so well--it's short and easy to read. But I felt it was a very superficial account of asexuality and only made me feel more confused than ever. If it was aimed at an audience of 13+, I think the authors would have been able to explore a lot more about asexuality.
So, the authors explain how asexuality means not feeling any sexual attraction. There's a Split Attraction Model where romance is on one axis and sexuality on the other. Asexual people are lower on the sexuality axis but that doesn't mean they're not into romance. Aromantics are the other way around. Obviously, this works on a spectrum so you've got lots of people in between hence the term "grey-a." So, my biggest confusion is what exactly IS sexual attraction? Do people really just walk around, see supermegafoxyawesomehot people and go, "I want to have sex with THAT person RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW?" Because that is CRAZY. I don't understand what the difference between romantic and sexual attraction is. I thought wanting to have sex with someone was under the blanket of romance. But now I've been told it isn't? Plus, I was raised to believe that having sex shouldn't be the primary goal in a relationship but this book almost makes it sound like everyone is horny 24/7.
I've not ever been a fan of labels. Personally, I feel they restrict me though I totally understand how, for others, they can open up a new facet of self-awareness and belonging. I think the most important message this book contains is to be respectful and empathetic towards others who are navigating their sexualities and gender. Like, if someone feels more confident in identifying as a bi demisexual being, who am I to judge? I do wish more people would adopt that attitude.
Anyway, I do feel I've come across as very crass in this review. That wasn't my intention at all. I'm really glad we're seeing more awareness being raised about asexuality. I feel this comic could have done more in terms of clarifying a few important details that really drill the message home.
Honestly, it's what the title says.
Spoilers ahead.
Gah, I'm so conflicted about this book! On one hand, I think it's so important that there is more awareness about asexuality because there's not much representation in popular media and is so frequently misunderstood. However, I can't help feeling this comic had so much potential and ultimately let me down. I think the biggest issue is it's not clear who the target audience is. I get that it's meant to be accessible to all ages and that's why the comic format works so well--it's short and easy to read. But I felt it was a very superficial account of asexuality and only made me feel more confused than ever. If it was aimed at an audience of 13+, I think the authors would have been able to explore a lot more about asexuality.
So, the authors explain how asexuality means not feeling any sexual attraction. There's a Split Attraction Model where romance is on one axis and sexuality on the other. Asexual people are lower on the sexuality axis but that doesn't mean they're not into romance. Aromantics are the other way around. Obviously, this works on a spectrum so you've got lots of people in between hence the term "grey-a." So, my biggest confusion is what exactly IS sexual attraction? Do people really just walk around, see supermegafoxyawesomehot people and go, "I want to have sex with THAT person RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW?" Because that is CRAZY. I don't understand what the difference between romantic and sexual attraction is. I thought wanting to have sex with someone was under the blanket of romance. But now I've been told it isn't? Plus, I was raised to believe that having sex shouldn't be the primary goal in a relationship but this book almost makes it sound like everyone is horny 24/7.
I've not ever been a fan of labels. Personally, I feel they restrict me though I totally understand how, for others, they can open up a new facet of self-awareness and belonging. I think the most important message this book contains is to be respectful and empathetic towards others who are navigating their sexualities and gender. Like, if someone feels more confident in identifying as a bi demisexual being, who am I to judge? I do wish more people would adopt that attitude.
Anyway, I do feel I've come across as very crass in this review. That wasn't my intention at all. I'm really glad we're seeing more awareness being raised about asexuality. I feel this comic could have done more in terms of clarifying a few important details that really drill the message home.
February 5, 2022
thank you to oni press, limerance press, and netgalley for an arc in exhange for an honest review.
this is pocket size quick guide on asexuality for anyone who has no prior knowledge of what it is.
as an aspec reader, i would most closely label as biromantic demisexual — or, honestly, just queer — at this point in my life. while this is far from perfect, it’s definitely something i wish i could’ve given to some family members when i first attempted coming out to them. and after reading through this, i most definitely share a lot of life experiences with molly, namely, learning about demisexuality from fanfiction, a little bit of medical trauma from being ace, and more.
however, there are a few things that i noticed that were a bit lacking and generally, incorrect. the obvious one, one that i’m sure has already been noted by other apsec reviewers (because, why?!), is that they don’t explicitly confirm that aspec individuals are queer. instead, they beat around the bush a lot. while many of us might not personally identity as a queer individual (i know i didn’t feel comfortable using that specific label for a while), being aspec is a minority sexuality and thus falls under the umbrella term for being queer. i wish they didn’t take the stance that being an ally could fall under the LGBTQIA+ acronym. it doesn’t, end of story. so, that was a bit frustrating to read that.
i also recognize that since this guide is focused mostly on the asexual side of aspec identities, the aro side is kind of only mentioned in name rather quickly. they do mention the split attraction model but completely forget aesthetic attraction as the third level of attraction that should be taken note, since it’s also a big contributor as to why aspec individuals feel “broken” for so long. i think they this book would’ve done better by extending even a few pages longer to expand on their concepts past the very very introductory level.
TLDR, i think this can be a great starting point if you know nothing about asexuality, but this misses the mark on a few key aspects. if you are using this to figure your own identity out, learning about it because of a loved one coming out, or what not, please go read further resources. https://www.asexuality.org/ is an incredible resource to start. and remember, the A = asexual, aromantic, and/or agender, NOT ally.
this is pocket size quick guide on asexuality for anyone who has no prior knowledge of what it is.
as an aspec reader, i would most closely label as biromantic demisexual — or, honestly, just queer — at this point in my life. while this is far from perfect, it’s definitely something i wish i could’ve given to some family members when i first attempted coming out to them. and after reading through this, i most definitely share a lot of life experiences with molly, namely, learning about demisexuality from fanfiction, a little bit of medical trauma from being ace, and more.
however, there are a few things that i noticed that were a bit lacking and generally, incorrect. the obvious one, one that i’m sure has already been noted by other apsec reviewers (because, why?!), is that they don’t explicitly confirm that aspec individuals are queer. instead, they beat around the bush a lot. while many of us might not personally identity as a queer individual (i know i didn’t feel comfortable using that specific label for a while), being aspec is a minority sexuality and thus falls under the umbrella term for being queer. i wish they didn’t take the stance that being an ally could fall under the LGBTQIA+ acronym. it doesn’t, end of story. so, that was a bit frustrating to read that.
i also recognize that since this guide is focused mostly on the asexual side of aspec identities, the aro side is kind of only mentioned in name rather quickly. they do mention the split attraction model but completely forget aesthetic attraction as the third level of attraction that should be taken note, since it’s also a big contributor as to why aspec individuals feel “broken” for so long. i think they this book would’ve done better by extending even a few pages longer to expand on their concepts past the very very introductory level.
TLDR, i think this can be a great starting point if you know nothing about asexuality, but this misses the mark on a few key aspects. if you are using this to figure your own identity out, learning about it because of a loved one coming out, or what not, please go read further resources. https://www.asexuality.org/ is an incredible resource to start. and remember, the A = asexual, aromantic, and/or agender, NOT ally.
October 23, 2021
I am writing this review as someone who is asexual and aromantic. If you want to know what those words mean, and why they're not the same thing, pick up this book. Like Alex Gino's Rick, it's a work that I wish had been around when I was younger - as Muldoon and Hernandez note several times, many ace people grow up feeling broken or wrong or like freaks, because asexuality really has historically been the invisible orientation. The negative stereotypes that they go over in the book are intimately familiar and all too recognizable, and that's why this slim volume is so important - because there's nothing wrong with being anywhere on the ace or aro spectrums.
If there's one thing I wish had been touched on, it's that your orientation doesn't affect your consumption of media. To a degree we understand this mostly through the female consumption of BL (boys' love, or homoerotic) manga, but one question I've often gotten is "why do you read so many romance novels if you're aroace?" Until society at large understands that that's like asking someone "why do you read mystery novels if you're not planning the perfect murder?," we'll still have a ways to go.
That's not going to knock a star off of my review, though. Until we can all feel safe and normal in our skin, we need works that explain things in a warm, friendly, and non-judgemental manner. This one does that. Please read it.
If there's one thing I wish had been touched on, it's that your orientation doesn't affect your consumption of media. To a degree we understand this mostly through the female consumption of BL (boys' love, or homoerotic) manga, but one question I've often gotten is "why do you read so many romance novels if you're aroace?" Until society at large understands that that's like asking someone "why do you read mystery novels if you're not planning the perfect murder?," we'll still have a ways to go.
That's not going to knock a star off of my review, though. Until we can all feel safe and normal in our skin, we need works that explain things in a warm, friendly, and non-judgemental manner. This one does that. Please read it.
August 17, 2022
At just 70 pages, this book is very much "just the basics". I thought the chapter sections were divided well and the flow of information was good, but I hope anyone who reads this goes on to pick up a few longer books afterwards! I also wish it had been printed in color.
July 24, 2025
Thanks to Netgalley for the arc of this book.
.....................
I was wondering whether to rate this book 1 or 2 stars, but ended up settling on 1. It is just not a good resource, even if some of the information in it is correct. To contextualize, I’m on the asexual spectrum, so this review is influenced by my experience in the ace community and other resources I’ve read.
........................
The first problem I have with it is more surface-level and it’s the art and information presentation. Most of the art is just the authors’ avatars and information is almost exclusively presented in lengthy speech bubbles. There are also sections where I’m convinced the artist just got fed up with drawing hands so he had the avatars awkwardly holding their arms behind their backs. I feel like having mediocre art and no imaginative presentation of information completely defeats the purpose of making a comic book guide.
The second thing that bothered me was the unorganized structure. The book defines the split attraction model, on which almost all asexual people base their labels, almost halfway through. The authors also seem more interested in explaining what asexuality isn’t than what it is, which is a problem I’ve seen in some asexual resources.
The final problem I had with the book, and the most glaring one, was the completely outdated discussion on asexuality in queer spaces. I can forgive some older resources for making an ambiguous statement on the topic, however, I don’t really think that’s acceptable in a current resource. This book has a section called “The A in LGBTQIA” which said “it doesn’t really matter” what the A stands for. It does matter and asexuality has been accepted in many queer spaces.
It’s harmful to say that putting asexuality outside the realm of queerness (so in the realm of heterosexuality) is a possibility, because it’s implying that all the different ways in which asexuals are disadvantaged (both legally and socially) compared to heterosexuals don’t matter. For further discussion on this topic, I’d recommend Ace by Angela Chen and possibly The invisible orientation (the stance is ambiguous, but the discussion is more in-depth).
.....................
I was wondering whether to rate this book 1 or 2 stars, but ended up settling on 1. It is just not a good resource, even if some of the information in it is correct. To contextualize, I’m on the asexual spectrum, so this review is influenced by my experience in the ace community and other resources I’ve read.
........................
The first problem I have with it is more surface-level and it’s the art and information presentation. Most of the art is just the authors’ avatars and information is almost exclusively presented in lengthy speech bubbles. There are also sections where I’m convinced the artist just got fed up with drawing hands so he had the avatars awkwardly holding their arms behind their backs. I feel like having mediocre art and no imaginative presentation of information completely defeats the purpose of making a comic book guide.
The second thing that bothered me was the unorganized structure. The book defines the split attraction model, on which almost all asexual people base their labels, almost halfway through. The authors also seem more interested in explaining what asexuality isn’t than what it is, which is a problem I’ve seen in some asexual resources.
The final problem I had with the book, and the most glaring one, was the completely outdated discussion on asexuality in queer spaces. I can forgive some older resources for making an ambiguous statement on the topic, however, I don’t really think that’s acceptable in a current resource. This book has a section called “The A in LGBTQIA” which said “it doesn’t really matter” what the A stands for. It does matter and asexuality has been accepted in many queer spaces.
It’s harmful to say that putting asexuality outside the realm of queerness (so in the realm of heterosexuality) is a possibility, because it’s implying that all the different ways in which asexuals are disadvantaged (both legally and socially) compared to heterosexuals don’t matter. For further discussion on this topic, I’d recommend Ace by Angela Chen and possibly The invisible orientation (the stance is ambiguous, but the discussion is more in-depth).
February 15, 2022
[Review by an ace/aro reader]
Thanks to Oni Press and Netgalley for a copy to review!
I admit, like many, they lost me when they portrayed the A in LGBTQIA+ as being debatable. It has always stood for aces, everywhere I've seen it and in all my extensive queer circles, most of whom are ace in fact.
That said, several of the concepts in this were helpful for me when it came to phrasing. A lot of it was tired conversations I've had over and over, but during which I was never certain of how to reply. I really hate labels but some of these metaphors at least help me frame how I identify, so there is a temptation to shove it at anyone who gets weird. This pamphlet is in comic form, which was kind of nice, structuring realistic conversations that were definitely ones I've had in my lifetime. There was one metaphor - even though you're not hungry you can still eat and enjoy cake, and the cake is sex - and that was really useful phrasing. I stumble over this stuff all the time. I'm glad they covered aromanticism and they gray spectrum. A lot of this stuff is very handwavey, not set in stone concepts, so it's tough to boil down into a brief pamphlet, but this is a start.
Thanks to Oni Press and Netgalley for a copy to review!
I admit, like many, they lost me when they portrayed the A in LGBTQIA+ as being debatable. It has always stood for aces, everywhere I've seen it and in all my extensive queer circles, most of whom are ace in fact.
That said, several of the concepts in this were helpful for me when it came to phrasing. A lot of it was tired conversations I've had over and over, but during which I was never certain of how to reply. I really hate labels but some of these metaphors at least help me frame how I identify, so there is a temptation to shove it at anyone who gets weird. This pamphlet is in comic form, which was kind of nice, structuring realistic conversations that were definitely ones I've had in my lifetime. There was one metaphor - even though you're not hungry you can still eat and enjoy cake, and the cake is sex - and that was really useful phrasing. I stumble over this stuff all the time. I'm glad they covered aromanticism and they gray spectrum. A lot of this stuff is very handwavey, not set in stone concepts, so it's tough to boil down into a brief pamphlet, but this is a start.
January 24, 2022
I received an ARC of this book from Netgalley and I’m leaving an honest review.
This book is exactly what it says it is: a quick and easy guide. It cover all the most important and basic information and I believe it was very educating and useful and it could be exactly what the people that are stil figuring themselves out might need to understand themselves and their feelings better. This book is especially useful, considering how harmful it can be for the people who are just starting to question themselves to go online for answers, because just as it's said in the book, the internet can be full of hate and ignorance towards ace people as many people don't even bother to understand.
I loved how the authors explained everything, but I am a little sad it was this short because I really enjoyed it!
This book is exactly what it says it is: a quick and easy guide. It cover all the most important and basic information and I believe it was very educating and useful and it could be exactly what the people that are stil figuring themselves out might need to understand themselves and their feelings better. This book is especially useful, considering how harmful it can be for the people who are just starting to question themselves to go online for answers, because just as it's said in the book, the internet can be full of hate and ignorance towards ace people as many people don't even bother to understand.
I loved how the authors explained everything, but I am a little sad it was this short because I really enjoyed it!
October 27, 2021
EVERYONE SHUT UP AND GO READ THIS
April 9, 2022
this book is such a sweet and affirming intro to asexuality, i found it very inspiring. now i hope the delightful authors will do the same for aromantic. asexuality is lack of sexual attraction, and it's on a continuum, from sometimes and a little to always and a lot. it is a sexual orientation, but since it's on a continuum (and also you can be asexual but not aromantic) it combines with sexual orientations, so that you can be asexual gay or asexual straight or pretty much anything you can think of. also asexual people can be trans cuz trans identify is not a sexual orientation i.e. says nothing about what/who you desire. most importantly, asexuality is not the result of trauma, or anything that can be cured or you would want to cure. like all sexual orientation it is pretty much innate and lovely and something to respect and nurture.
i LOVE that the book emphasizes that it's all part of queerness, that is, part of smashing the narrow narrow narrow heteropatriarchal norms that would have us all have sex and have sex in the same way and with the same set of people. in reality we are all so fucking different and since we are told from day one that difference is not okay we are all so full of shameful secrets that have no reason to be at all so fuck the heteropatriarchy.
the book is wonderfully drawn and super fast and such a clarion call to kindness, i wish everyone read it. finally, a propos of nothing, let us all leave trans kids alone! let us let them play sports! let us let them get medical care! enough with the cruelty (if you care about this as much as i do, throw a few bucks to the ACLU, which is fighting state legislatures in the USA who want to ban trans kids tooth and nail, and follow chase strangio, a trans lawyer with the ACLU, on twitter).
i LOVE that the book emphasizes that it's all part of queerness, that is, part of smashing the narrow narrow narrow heteropatriarchal norms that would have us all have sex and have sex in the same way and with the same set of people. in reality we are all so fucking different and since we are told from day one that difference is not okay we are all so full of shameful secrets that have no reason to be at all so fuck the heteropatriarchy.
the book is wonderfully drawn and super fast and such a clarion call to kindness, i wish everyone read it. finally, a propos of nothing, let us all leave trans kids alone! let us let them play sports! let us let them get medical care! enough with the cruelty (if you care about this as much as i do, throw a few bucks to the ACLU, which is fighting state legislatures in the USA who want to ban trans kids tooth and nail, and follow chase strangio, a trans lawyer with the ACLU, on twitter).
October 23, 2024
Just like the title implies, this is a quick and easy guide to asexuality.
It's concise and precise, while still involving personal experiences.
I liked that it made a distinction between asexuality in offline and online circles (particularly in regards to the queer community) and that it discussed asexual stereotypes.
I also liked the introduction of the split attraction model, and that it mentions aromanticism. It didn't go in depth there, naturally, which I would have enjoyed, but ofc this book is about being asexual, not aromantic.
The art style was simple, and not always quite clear to me in terms of character and reader interactions, but they loosened up the writing and provided structure, which aided the reading flow well.
Overall this guide does exactly what it sets out to do, and is clear and transparent on its limitations.
I received an ARC and reviewed honestly and voluntarily.
It's concise and precise, while still involving personal experiences.
I liked that it made a distinction between asexuality in offline and online circles (particularly in regards to the queer community) and that it discussed asexual stereotypes.
I also liked the introduction of the split attraction model, and that it mentions aromanticism. It didn't go in depth there, naturally, which I would have enjoyed, but ofc this book is about being asexual, not aromantic.
The art style was simple, and not always quite clear to me in terms of character and reader interactions, but they loosened up the writing and provided structure, which aided the reading flow well.
Overall this guide does exactly what it sets out to do, and is clear and transparent on its limitations.
I received an ARC and reviewed honestly and voluntarily.
March 29, 2022
The best thing about this book comes from its title: Its a quick and EASY to understand guide on asexuality.
I will be honest and say I had some confusion and some preconceptions about asexuality which incidentally is the reason why I requested this book. I thought it would be longwinded and cause me some more confusion but it was very straight to the point and did not mince words in explaining its subject matter.
This well rendered book tackles several insightful topics such as what asexuality is, the asexuality spectrum, growing up asexual among others via great and easy to digest examples/scenarios.
I finished this in one sitting and would definitely recommend it for anyone curious about the subject or someone who just wants to know what it is about without fancy jargons and acronyms. Go get this if it might be something that interests you. It will be worth it.
**eARC Provided in Exchange for an Honest, Unbiased Review**
I will be honest and say I had some confusion and some preconceptions about asexuality which incidentally is the reason why I requested this book. I thought it would be longwinded and cause me some more confusion but it was very straight to the point and did not mince words in explaining its subject matter.
This well rendered book tackles several insightful topics such as what asexuality is, the asexuality spectrum, growing up asexual among others via great and easy to digest examples/scenarios.
I finished this in one sitting and would definitely recommend it for anyone curious about the subject or someone who just wants to know what it is about without fancy jargons and acronyms. Go get this if it might be something that interests you. It will be worth it.
**eARC Provided in Exchange for an Honest, Unbiased Review**
October 10, 2021
This was a really short and sweet introduction to asexuality that I think is a really great starting point for those who may be questioning their sexuality or for those who just want to learn a bit more about what exactly asexuality is. I think it'd be particularly useful as part of schools' sex education curricula! Some great critiques of this graphic novel have been made by asexual readers, however, and I do really suggest that you check those out too in other Goodreads reviews!
Thanks to Netgalley and Oni Press for an eARC in return for an honest review!
Want more queer books? You can find me here: Book Blog | Twitter | Instagram
Thanks to Netgalley and Oni Press for an eARC in return for an honest review!
Want more queer books? You can find me here: Book Blog | Twitter | Instagram
October 15, 2021
I got an e-arc through Netgalley, this in no way affected this review.
I really enjoyed this informative book on Asexuality. It’s still a sexuality you don’t see a lot of representation of in today’s media and I’m so happy this book exists.
I identify as aro/ace, which took me a long time to figure out and I really feel like this book could have helped me if I’d read it a few years back! But I’m so happy other young, queer readers might pick up this graphic novel and find themselves in it.
The only reason that I didn’t give it 5 stars, is because while everything was explained in an excellent way, I did feel like they repeated stuff a lot to the point where I skipped some of the pages where they were summarising everything.
I really enjoyed this informative book on Asexuality. It’s still a sexuality you don’t see a lot of representation of in today’s media and I’m so happy this book exists.
I identify as aro/ace, which took me a long time to figure out and I really feel like this book could have helped me if I’d read it a few years back! But I’m so happy other young, queer readers might pick up this graphic novel and find themselves in it.
The only reason that I didn’t give it 5 stars, is because while everything was explained in an excellent way, I did feel like they repeated stuff a lot to the point where I skipped some of the pages where they were summarising everything.
January 9, 2022
I'm asexual and in my 50s.
This book is exactly what it says on the cover.
Where was this book when I was a teenager/in my 20s/in my 30s....I could go on. Not just for me, but for everyone else.
The book comprises 75 pages in graphic form of a couple of people discussing and explaining asexuality. They place it in the broader context of sexualities, gender, orientation etc etc. It is an immensely quick easy read, which is particularly valuable when the purpose is to educate.
At the end there are references and links for everyone to learn more.
This is a splendid book - the only. question I' m left with (as I always am) and is totally beyond the scope of the book is um, what's allosexuality actually like? Do allosexuals just want to run around and bonk people all the time? Continuously? Do they spend all their time having weird physical sexual sensations? Some resources explaining allosexuality to asexuals somewhere would be helpful.
I received an advanced review copy in exchange for an honest review.
I'd recommend (and do recommend) this book to everyone in a heartbeat.
This book is exactly what it says on the cover.
Where was this book when I was a teenager/in my 20s/in my 30s....I could go on. Not just for me, but for everyone else.
The book comprises 75 pages in graphic form of a couple of people discussing and explaining asexuality. They place it in the broader context of sexualities, gender, orientation etc etc. It is an immensely quick easy read, which is particularly valuable when the purpose is to educate.
At the end there are references and links for everyone to learn more.
This is a splendid book - the only. question I' m left with (as I always am) and is totally beyond the scope of the book is um, what's allosexuality actually like? Do allosexuals just want to run around and bonk people all the time? Continuously? Do they spend all their time having weird physical sexual sensations? Some resources explaining allosexuality to asexuals somewhere would be helpful.
I received an advanced review copy in exchange for an honest review.
I'd recommend (and do recommend) this book to everyone in a heartbeat.
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