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Mom Genes: Inside the New Science of Our Ancient Maternal Instinct
Everyone knows how babies are made, but scientists are only just beginning to understand the making of a mother. Mom Genes reveals the hard science behind our tenderest maternal impulses, tackling questions such as whether a new mom’s brain ever really bounces back, why mothers are destined to mimic their own moms (or not), and how maternal aggression makes females the world’s most formidable creatures.
Part scientific odyssey, part memoir, Mom Genes weaves the latest research with Abigail Tucker’s personal experiences to create a portrait of motherhood.
Part scientific odyssey, part memoir, Mom Genes weaves the latest research with Abigail Tucker’s personal experiences to create a portrait of motherhood.
315 pages, Hardcover
First published April 27, 2021
282 people are currently reading
7998 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 195 reviews
June 25, 2022
I received an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
I really don't know how to classify this book. It is definitely NOT what the title implies - in fact, there is very little genetic science in the book at all. As a DNA scientist myself, I can assure you that there is no scientific information on mothering "genes" or any data to back up anything that is stated. The small bit that is present is brought up and glossed over, with little to no explanation. For example the term DNA methylation is used in the final chapter, but the definition of what DNA methylation is or more importantly how it applies in the context of the book is not even discussed, making me believe that Tucker is possibly just tossing out DNA terminology without understanding it herself. There were some mice, vole and primate studies that were discussed, but considering humans are so vastly different and also have cultural and personal experiences that shape them, even Tucker admits that there is no way to apply what some of these studies may suggest for individual species could also be applied to humans. Yet again though, the studies were not genetically based but more so environmental and society based.
However, there are some interesting sociology and cultural points within the book, albeit mixed in with a large dose of memoir from the author. There was indeed a lot of personal experience and storytelling from Tucker, especially on the topic of postpartum depression. These sections were very readable and honestly, much more enjoyable than the unscientific rest of the book, but seemed to delve off from the seeming intended focus and in many instances were quite off topic. Overall, the topics and discussion were a bit scattered and I felt it somewhat jumped all over the place, occasionally coming back to certain things many chapters later. In the end, it is a book of theories and some ideas, but provides little to no actual information, and is all narrowly focused within the realm of a privileged, married, suburban white woman with no real focus on how these same maternal instincts that she believes to exist are manifested in women who are single, of color, underprivileged or even homeless etc.
I really don't know how to classify this book. It is definitely NOT what the title implies - in fact, there is very little genetic science in the book at all. As a DNA scientist myself, I can assure you that there is no scientific information on mothering "genes" or any data to back up anything that is stated. The small bit that is present is brought up and glossed over, with little to no explanation. For example the term DNA methylation is used in the final chapter, but the definition of what DNA methylation is or more importantly how it applies in the context of the book is not even discussed, making me believe that Tucker is possibly just tossing out DNA terminology without understanding it herself. There were some mice, vole and primate studies that were discussed, but considering humans are so vastly different and also have cultural and personal experiences that shape them, even Tucker admits that there is no way to apply what some of these studies may suggest for individual species could also be applied to humans. Yet again though, the studies were not genetically based but more so environmental and society based.
However, there are some interesting sociology and cultural points within the book, albeit mixed in with a large dose of memoir from the author. There was indeed a lot of personal experience and storytelling from Tucker, especially on the topic of postpartum depression. These sections were very readable and honestly, much more enjoyable than the unscientific rest of the book, but seemed to delve off from the seeming intended focus and in many instances were quite off topic. Overall, the topics and discussion were a bit scattered and I felt it somewhat jumped all over the place, occasionally coming back to certain things many chapters later. In the end, it is a book of theories and some ideas, but provides little to no actual information, and is all narrowly focused within the realm of a privileged, married, suburban white woman with no real focus on how these same maternal instincts that she believes to exist are manifested in women who are single, of color, underprivileged or even homeless etc.
December 21, 2020
As a new mom I have devoured mom books left and right trying to attain any and all insight out there for us. This book left me stumped. The author I can see thanks to her background in journalism is a relatable writer and storyteller. The book came off a bit part memoir part research paper. I sort of feel like I should of gotten more or less of either one. Perhaps the title is misleading as well since the entire book covered more on mom experiences, world statistics and at the end a blanketed mission statement for not sure who congress, America, or the medical industry.
Also, the author seemed to stay very surface level on issues discussed. Post Partum depression should probably have its own chapter. Even as the writer admits she’s white, educated and privileged perhaps diving more into the experience of the other side of that coin would bring a better understanding to how broken the medical system is for new moms. Also since the book is about the science of moms depression would be an obvious science highlight.
I did appreciate the insight she gathered from scientists and their studies. I’m just not sure I can ever get the image of blinded, mutilated and tortured mom mice out of my thoughts now especially how frequently the author kept writing and mentioning them .
There were many great things about this book. At the end it all felt sort of scatter-brained.
Also, the author seemed to stay very surface level on issues discussed. Post Partum depression should probably have its own chapter. Even as the writer admits she’s white, educated and privileged perhaps diving more into the experience of the other side of that coin would bring a better understanding to how broken the medical system is for new moms. Also since the book is about the science of moms depression would be an obvious science highlight.
I did appreciate the insight she gathered from scientists and their studies. I’m just not sure I can ever get the image of blinded, mutilated and tortured mom mice out of my thoughts now especially how frequently the author kept writing and mentioning them .
There were many great things about this book. At the end it all felt sort of scatter-brained.
June 2, 2021
In major ways, this is a brilliant book, which is -- disappointingly -- ironic, given that the author, a Harvard grad and mother of four, insists on characterizing herself-- and other mothers -- with the time-worn and destructive cliche of helpless ditziness. Her whirlwind tour of research over the past two decades demonstrates the increasing attention that scientists are finally paying to this fascinating topic, which I wrote about in 2005 in "The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes You Smarter." Clearly I took a different perspective: my own research showed that in some important ways, motherhood heightens our smarts, although as both of us and any responsible author would point out, you can't draw simple conclusions with this complicated topic. I appreciate Tucker's call for more solidarity -- and government-subsidized help -- for mothers, but wish she had not so carelessly and repeatedly conflated the pregnant brain, awash in chemicals, with the mother's brain, which endures for decades. I also wish she'd given at least a nod to some great pioneers in this emerging field, including Sarah Hrdy, whose masterful book, "Mother Nature" will leave mothers feeling much more respected and empowered.
July 12, 2021
I never played with baby dolls, I can’t have children due to a chronic illness and I don’t care much for children so I don’t want them anyway (not adopting). I am also the product of severe physical abuse in the hands of my mother and haven’t seen her or spoken to her in over 20 years. Much of this would cause some to deem me as abnormal in the maternal sense. Yet, children all love me upon meeting and I would take a bullet for animals. So, the real question is: is being a mother and having maternal ‘instinct’ something that is learned or is one born with this trait (nature vs. nurture or both). Is there something in mom brains, DNA and hormones that make them super moms? These are some of the questions Abigail Tucker seeks to answer in, “Mom Genes: Inside the New Science of our Ancient Maternal Instinct”.
Perhaps you are like me and aren’t a mother and/or never plan to be one. “Mom Genes” couldn’t possibly interest you, right? WRONG! Honey, check yourself because you are missing out. “Mom Genes” is an absolutely captivating work seamlessly meshing together evolutionary science, pop-psychology, neuroscience, behavioral and cognitive psychology, humor and a splash of memoir to create a riveting book that is engaging, entertaining, educational and downright perfect. Tucker dives right in with readers managing to immediately build a familiar bond and yet focuses on the science of the topic making for a fast-paced narrative with a scholarly edge.
“Mom Genes” explores all facets of pregnancy, labor, mothering and childcare you have thought about – and even those that you haven’t. Tucker has consulted top researchers, scientists, studies and has made first-hand observations sitting-in on experiments; in order to blow the lid off maternal instinct and what women are born with and what is learned. Readers gain so much insight that “Mom Genes” is a conversation-starter and bursting to be shared. You will never look at mothers in public places (or at your own mother) the same again. THAT is how fascinating “Mom Genes” yields!
Tucker shares a plethora of facts, information and findings on the pages of “Mom Genes” but never is this overwhelming: “Mom Genes” is accessible and readable without being dummied down. Tucker also infuses the text with occasional snark and comedy but this feels organic and appropriate even in the scientific scope.
Surprisingly, “Mom Genes” is a highly-credible piece and is better presented than many other pop-psych and neuroscience texts actually written by those in the above fields. Tucker obviously knows how to adapt to and be inclusive of all audiences. It must be noted that Tucker did not perform any of the trials and studies described within “Mom Genes”; but she did personally observe a number of them.
Speaking of studies, many of the experiments mentioned in “Mom Genes” have been conducted on animals such as mice, rats and monkeys. This is a bit difficult to swallow for animal-lovers (even though the experiments were not cruel); and thus, “Mom Genes” is not recommended to readers overly sensitive on such practices.
Tucker adds a personal essence of realness to “Mom Genes” in the effect of having penned it while pregnant with her fourth child. Tucker also mentions the relationship of the subject matter to the Covid-19 pandemic which may date the book at a later time but for now; made it more relatable. Also satisfying is Tucker’s acknowledgment and admittance of her privilege and any self-entitlement. This is genuine and not phony or simply said to be PC or to garner praise. It is rare and refreshing to have such a perspective where an individual can address their flaws.
“Mom Genes” briefly diverges from maternal science and traverses the father-figure side but mostly in relation to the mother. This helps solidify the science and gives readers a well-rounded view.
Tucker’s “Mom Genes” is never repetitive and enthralls to its finality. Tucker concludes “Mom Genes” with op-ed of what she thinks would help mothers be better supported by the system and function more beneficially toward their children. This is a pseudo summary, as it wraps up the findings discussed throughout “Mom Genes”.
“Mom Genes” is supplemented with a notes section (not annotated). Absent from the pages are any images of data or graphs which would have strengthened “Mom Genes” in terms of presentation.
If you are seeking a truly riveting, thought-provoking, educational psych/neuroscience piece; then look no further than “Mom Genes”. Tucker’s piece is recommended for all readers interested in human interactions. We all have/had mothers and thus the content of “Mom Genes” applies to each and every one of us. “Mom Genes” is a must-read.
Perhaps you are like me and aren’t a mother and/or never plan to be one. “Mom Genes” couldn’t possibly interest you, right? WRONG! Honey, check yourself because you are missing out. “Mom Genes” is an absolutely captivating work seamlessly meshing together evolutionary science, pop-psychology, neuroscience, behavioral and cognitive psychology, humor and a splash of memoir to create a riveting book that is engaging, entertaining, educational and downright perfect. Tucker dives right in with readers managing to immediately build a familiar bond and yet focuses on the science of the topic making for a fast-paced narrative with a scholarly edge.
“Mom Genes” explores all facets of pregnancy, labor, mothering and childcare you have thought about – and even those that you haven’t. Tucker has consulted top researchers, scientists, studies and has made first-hand observations sitting-in on experiments; in order to blow the lid off maternal instinct and what women are born with and what is learned. Readers gain so much insight that “Mom Genes” is a conversation-starter and bursting to be shared. You will never look at mothers in public places (or at your own mother) the same again. THAT is how fascinating “Mom Genes” yields!
Tucker shares a plethora of facts, information and findings on the pages of “Mom Genes” but never is this overwhelming: “Mom Genes” is accessible and readable without being dummied down. Tucker also infuses the text with occasional snark and comedy but this feels organic and appropriate even in the scientific scope.
Surprisingly, “Mom Genes” is a highly-credible piece and is better presented than many other pop-psych and neuroscience texts actually written by those in the above fields. Tucker obviously knows how to adapt to and be inclusive of all audiences. It must be noted that Tucker did not perform any of the trials and studies described within “Mom Genes”; but she did personally observe a number of them.
Speaking of studies, many of the experiments mentioned in “Mom Genes” have been conducted on animals such as mice, rats and monkeys. This is a bit difficult to swallow for animal-lovers (even though the experiments were not cruel); and thus, “Mom Genes” is not recommended to readers overly sensitive on such practices.
Tucker adds a personal essence of realness to “Mom Genes” in the effect of having penned it while pregnant with her fourth child. Tucker also mentions the relationship of the subject matter to the Covid-19 pandemic which may date the book at a later time but for now; made it more relatable. Also satisfying is Tucker’s acknowledgment and admittance of her privilege and any self-entitlement. This is genuine and not phony or simply said to be PC or to garner praise. It is rare and refreshing to have such a perspective where an individual can address their flaws.
“Mom Genes” briefly diverges from maternal science and traverses the father-figure side but mostly in relation to the mother. This helps solidify the science and gives readers a well-rounded view.
Tucker’s “Mom Genes” is never repetitive and enthralls to its finality. Tucker concludes “Mom Genes” with op-ed of what she thinks would help mothers be better supported by the system and function more beneficially toward their children. This is a pseudo summary, as it wraps up the findings discussed throughout “Mom Genes”.
“Mom Genes” is supplemented with a notes section (not annotated). Absent from the pages are any images of data or graphs which would have strengthened “Mom Genes” in terms of presentation.
If you are seeking a truly riveting, thought-provoking, educational psych/neuroscience piece; then look no further than “Mom Genes”. Tucker’s piece is recommended for all readers interested in human interactions. We all have/had mothers and thus the content of “Mom Genes” applies to each and every one of us. “Mom Genes” is a must-read.
September 2, 2021
I read this in large part to confirm (officially) that conceiving, carrying, giving birth, and devoting all my time and energy to a brand new human being had changed me. Of course it had - how could it not? Motherhood is frequently cited as the single most drastic change in an adult woman's life. Yet, we are so little prepared for it. We spend so much time reading up on pregnancy and birth, on shopping for baby clothes and decorating the nursery, that many of us are shocked that we are quite literally different people than our 'pre-motherhood' selves. Not just in the obvious ways, but in deep, cellular, hard-to-describe (impossible, really) ways. I was affirmed in learning that a single brain scan can show you has had a baby and who has not. "Mommy brain" seems to be a real thing. And I'm blaming it for my constant forgetfulness and my occasional inability to converse with adults.
My largest critique of this book is that it basically could have been a long article in the New York Times. There's also a lot of energy devoted to saying how we CAN'T make generalizations and then going on to make one big generalization (which seems even more ridiculous when you learn that most of the science is based on shoddy tests done on mice and rat families). And call me soft, but I didn't love hearing about the endless experiments on animals in which parts of their brains were altered or their family dynamics messed with just so researchers could say **maybe** human beings react similarly! The data on actual humans is small. Not only is it hard to research on pregnant women (so many risks) - what mom has the time? My other criticism was the "wink-wink" "haha" tone throughout the book - things like - 'whether you're a cheetah mom out on the prowl, or a hungry minivan mom in the drive thru etc. etc.' - got really irritating. There were plenty of chuckles and I appreciated Tucker's humor, but sometimes it was just a bit much.
So basically, it was relatively easy to read (good thing now that my brain is basically grey matter mush), had some interesting anecdotes (but very little real solid data), but all in all, it did what I hoped it would do: It confirmed to me that motherhood is a cell-level, brain-matter altering identity shift, and one that society at large would do well to take seriously.
My largest critique of this book is that it basically could have been a long article in the New York Times. There's also a lot of energy devoted to saying how we CAN'T make generalizations and then going on to make one big generalization (which seems even more ridiculous when you learn that most of the science is based on shoddy tests done on mice and rat families). And call me soft, but I didn't love hearing about the endless experiments on animals in which parts of their brains were altered or their family dynamics messed with just so researchers could say **maybe** human beings react similarly! The data on actual humans is small. Not only is it hard to research on pregnant women (so many risks) - what mom has the time? My other criticism was the "wink-wink" "haha" tone throughout the book - things like - 'whether you're a cheetah mom out on the prowl, or a hungry minivan mom in the drive thru etc. etc.' - got really irritating. There were plenty of chuckles and I appreciated Tucker's humor, but sometimes it was just a bit much.
So basically, it was relatively easy to read (good thing now that my brain is basically grey matter mush), had some interesting anecdotes (but very little real solid data), but all in all, it did what I hoped it would do: It confirmed to me that motherhood is a cell-level, brain-matter altering identity shift, and one that society at large would do well to take seriously.
May 10, 2021
Pop-science of Momming! Alright, I am a mom AND I love science, so when I was given the chance to read this one it seemed like a good fit. Abigail Tucker released a pop-science book about house cats a couple years ago. (I also love cats!) I haven't read The Lion in the Living Room: How House Cats Tamed Us and Took Over the World yet, but I am definitely interested, because OMG my cats are definitely taking over my world.
So, Mom Genes follows Abigail as she participates and observes scientific studies that look at how mom brains work (from personal experience, they often don't) and how our genetics may set us up for mom-life. There are a number of different theories explored in this book, many of them more scientifically sound than others. There is a lot of exploration about what (scientifically) makes a person (or animal) a good mother. This definitely leans more towards popular science vs. being a serious scientific treatise, so I think of it as a good launching point to read up more on specific topics that may have piqued my interest. If you are looking for a deep dive about genetics this is not that. Tucker writes in a conversational tone and doesn't mind poking a bit of fun at herself. Now MY mom brain is shutting down, so... review over. :)
Thank you to the publisher for the review copy!
So, Mom Genes follows Abigail as she participates and observes scientific studies that look at how mom brains work (from personal experience, they often don't) and how our genetics may set us up for mom-life. There are a number of different theories explored in this book, many of them more scientifically sound than others. There is a lot of exploration about what (scientifically) makes a person (or animal) a good mother. This definitely leans more towards popular science vs. being a serious scientific treatise, so I think of it as a good launching point to read up more on specific topics that may have piqued my interest. If you are looking for a deep dive about genetics this is not that. Tucker writes in a conversational tone and doesn't mind poking a bit of fun at herself. Now MY mom brain is shutting down, so... review over. :)
Thank you to the publisher for the review copy!
Want to read
June 17, 2021Below quoted from interview with author here: https://emilyoster.substack.com/p/mom...
But one thing that continues to fascinate me is how powerful and abrupt the transition into motherhood is. It’s almost like a switch is flipped. A virgin rat (that’s what scientists call non-mothers) will ignore or even kill rat pups. She finds them to be quite repulsive. But a few hours before this rat gives birth, her priorities change. She will start choosing the company of squirmy little rat pups over servings of food and even over hits of cocaine, risking an electric shock to be with them.
In one of my favorite experiments, a scientist rigged up a system where mom rats could press a bar for either food or pups, which rolled down a little chute not unlike a playground slide. One rat mom hit the pup bar 684 times over a few hours! It was a pup avalanche. The scientist got so sick of sticking new babies in the shoot that he basically quit the experiment.
November 15, 2021
I was expecting to find this one fascinating, but I didn't. Somehow I read this without really learning anything much...and not because of "mommy brain." The chapter topics felt scattered and the science felt pretty thin on the ground. As the book progressed I felt increasingly annoyed by what I perceived as a condescending mommy-tone. I am a mother of three, but I didn't appreciate how this book was clearly written exclusively for mothers, complete with obnoxious little wink-wink asides about craving carbs while pregnant, weight gain, and feeling absent-minded after becoming a mother. Tucker almost always used the word "Mom" instead of mother, which gives everything she writes a sort of bloggy, dumbed-down feel, and just like I don't like it when doctors or nurses would call me "Mom" at the hospital (is it that hard to ask what my name is? Or look at the chart?) I don't appreciate humor directed at "Moms" as if we're all the same now that we have children and are all in on the joke. While I'm griping, as Tucker was describing studies the ideal mother is presented as very sensitive and highly empathetic. I know wonderful mothers who are like this. I also know wonderful mothers who are less so... I can listen to a baby cry without emotional distress, I apparently hold them on the "wrong" arm, and I don't feel guilty about weaning my babies, yet I respond to their needs, love them deeply, and derive immense joy and satisfaction from being mother. There was occasional mention of how mothers are different individuals, but the feeling I was left with was that there is a "best" most "maternal" way to have your brain and body adapt to being a mother without any convincing evidence that children with such mothers (or the mothers themselves) experience better outcomes. Overall, I think I was hoping for something more like Carl Zimmer's "She Has Her Mother's Laugh," which I read a few years back and was absolutely fascinating.
June 11, 2022
Bought it for a friend who has a newborn and decided to read it myself, to be honest it is a bit boring if you don't have any kids (and any "mom genes" I would add:)) as the book is full of details about the author's kids and obviously maternity related details but I did discover some theories on maternal attachement and human relationships that I further want to research so it was a good read after all. It's also a useful book if you want to understand what your friends or relatives go through when having kids, there are detailed chapters on post natal depression and how the brain changes during pregnancy, which I found very interesting.
May 30, 2021
I love this book! If you are interested in motherhood from the standpoint of biology and psychology, this is the perfect book. Abby Tucker goes through the scientific data in orderly fashion and punctuates her descriptions with personal modern mom comments, based on her personal experience raising four children. These are perfect, modern mom asides. Her synthesis of the scientific data is not overwhelming but highly informative. Her interviews with researchers also add depth, especially their more personal comments. I liked everything about this book, and I have been reading about motherhood science for the last thirty-five years. The references are first rate and well delineated.
October 15, 2021
Pop science with too much pop and not enough science. Picked this up after a recommendation from Emily Oster, so I was expecting it to be approached with the same rationality and evidence-based insights, and was disappointed to find that it read more like a mommy blog. There are some interesting scientific nuggets in there to be sure, but they were buried in repetitive narrative that was frankly a slog for me to get through. It almost felt like the author was trying to compensate for cold hard science by adopting a folksy voice that leaned heavily on anecdotes and the sort of earth mother wonder that I don't identify with at all. Hard pass.
May 15, 2021
The author has a very casual voice which was a little incongruous with her extremely scientific approach to the topic. I knew some of the science already but the new topics were really interesting. I also loved her final conclusion as i have been groping my way towards a similar idea for the past several years.
April 5, 2022
Some interesting parts but honestly not very engaging. It focused on animal studies for the most part.
July 28, 2023
O colecție de rezultate științifice relativ recente din domeniul “științei mamelor”, împletite simpatic de talentul jurnalistic al autoarei (mamă a 4 copii).
May 30, 2022
Mi-a plăcut mult, cred ca orice femeie care isi dorește sau chiar are deja copii ar trebui sa o citească. E mare păcat ca avem acces la asa multă informație care ne poate ajuta, dar nu o accesam.
May 18, 2021
So many fun science facts!! Though I don't recommend this for vegans, as much of the research review is with other vertebrates like mice and monkeys and some of the scenarios are at least a bit cruel. Otherwise though, a fun pop science book with personal memoir shared throughout in a conversational tone (occasionally a little too casual for me, such as "For us there's almost always an au pair (heaven forbid a pretty one)...waiting in the wings").
Highlights:
- hormones, man.
- we should have more paid maternity leave, but also, I'm further reinforced in thinking that paternity leave is really important and effective for more equality; dads need to spend more time with their kids to be good fathers
- our brains and bodies are amazing and can take a lot though also both moms and babies do better with consistency
Fetal microchimerism:
- After surgically injuring mother mice to simulate a heart attack, and then cutting out and dissecting their tiny tickers, she and her research team discovered just what they expected: heart cells with DAN that doesn't match the mother's own
- Scientists find rogue fetal cells while dissecting the cadavers of old ladies, whose littlest babies are now middle-aged men. Long after giving birth, the bodies of surrogate mothers are scattered with the genes of strangers' progeny.
- The fetus is designed to protect the mother, the organism most essential to its future survival
- One decade-long Dutch study tracked 190 women in their fifties and sixties, and those with detectable leftover baby cells were less likely to die of virtually everything.
- In a particularly famous case, doctors discovered that a son's lingering cells had rebuilt an entire lobe of one woman's ruined liver. (The case is notable mostly because the mother in question had no children. Her son had never been born but was living on, after an abortion, inside her.)
Breastfeeding:
- Internal gestation helps explain mammals' riotous global success: pregnancy keeps our youngsters warm, fed, and shielded from predators and lets us infiltrate even the harshest environments. But the same nifty adaptations that helped us to outlast the dinosaurs have also left females holding the diaper bag...for human moms in particular, the type of milk that we make is unusually thin and watery. Other mammals spend far less time nursing their young. For wild rabbits, with their rich milk, it's about 5 minutes a day. Fur seals may nurse only once a week.
- Even if their tots aren't present, lactating mothers are more aggressive than formula-feeders.
- once our boys are born, we do concoct higher-calorie milk for them. A study of several dozen healthy new moms in Massachusetts showed that boy milk had 25 percent greater energy content than girl milk, proof of boys' inherent energetic drain. Many mammals make higher-fact milk for male babies, especially in species like ours where adult males are larger, and size may impact future mating opportunities.
- This is called "lactational programming." Funneling a kid extra stress hormones, like cortisol, in your breast milk may result in a more nervous, less confident baby, born braced for disaster. In monkeys, these high-cortisol babies grow unusually quickly, prioritizing growth instead of social exploration, perhaps to up their chances of clobbering their unfriendly neighbors.
Emotions:
- "Sensitization" is science's term for our experience. It's almost as though our nerves extend out of our bodies. I think sensitization explains why mothers have a hard time watching movies or even TV commercials involving suffering children. We feel it too deeply.
- this suppressed reactivity--this dulling of feeling, you might say--could explain the evolved drive behind the "baby blues" that more than 50 percent of new moms experience
- Next to love, the most commonly cited maternal emotion is rage
- A brand-new baby's most likely murderer is his or her own biological mother--and across the world, mothers under age twenty are the most likely to kill their kids, and older moms are the least likely.
- the birth of a third child, in particular, seems to herald a slight uptick of maternal mental woes, especially if the new kid is a different gender from the first pair. And having a boy ratchets up a mother's depression risk regardless.
Different reactions to different stressors:
- pregnant women and new mothers are calmer than other people in the face of environmental stress...in experimental settings, mothers-to-be are less aroused by displays of deliberate rudeness and have lower heart rates during psychologically stressful events like mock job interviews.
- The stresses that threaten moms the most, it turns out, are very often not events like fires and earthquakes. We're built to handle sudden catastrophe. What messes with moms are creeping, chronic, and often invisible problems. Poverty. Hunger. Diapers.
- Economists have long understood that the birth rate and the economy are intimately linked--a $10k increase in average housing prices leads to a 2 percent drop in renters' birth rates
- A study of unemployment rates in Denmark from 1995 to 2009 showed that jumps in joblessness corresponded with a national uptick in miscarriage rates. Although there was a matching rise in the abortion rate, some women's bodies--sensing long-term hardship on the horizon--seemed to cut short their pregnancies without any outside intervention or conscious choice.
Bruckner calculates that a 1 percent drop in a California city's employment predicts an 8 percent increase in "infant mortality due to unintentional injury" that same month.
- it wasn't the hustling monkeys with the poorly stocked carts whose mothering nosedived. (Despite all the food hoopla, nobody ever starved.) It was the moms who got an unpredictable mix of both kinds of wheelbarrows, on a schedule alternating every two weeks. These monkey moms, experiencing a bonanza one day and a bust the next, were the ones who fell apart, experiencing a more than 25 percent increase in their stress hormones and swiftly disintegrating caregiving. Even though there was no caloric shortage, the perception that there might be was there...it suggest that what mammalian mothers should fear most is fear itself.
- Everybody has stress...You don't have to be living in poverty to have stress. But for people with higher economic status it's rarer to experience multiple things at the same time.
- [X- or Y-bearing sperm] each have roughly 50-50 odds. But that's not the end of the story, because the mom's body scraps about half of all pregnancies after fertilization. Fetal sex appears to figure into this hidden cull, with our bodies offering safer harbor to boys or girls depending on environmental cues. When the outlook is rosy and the mom is stress-free and in shipshape condition, according to some evolutionary biologists, her body is primed to favor sons. Boys are bigger, feebler, and more taxing to gestate, but--in good times, at least--they can later pay evolutionary dividends if they grow up strong and strapping, woo widely, and sire a bumper crop of grand-offspring. Baby girls, on the other hand, may be the smarter play if a mom's world is wobbling. There's less of a physical and energetic down payment up front, and while daughters probably won't procreate like a Casanova or a Jagger, they are more likely to cough up a couple of grandchildren even in difficult environmental circumstances.
Brains & hormones:
- a key difference between biological moms and dads is this: new moms are hormonally primed to seek out experience with infants, while new dads must have those experiences in order to get their hormones rolling. Men don't metamorphose into instinctive fathers after a one-night stand if they never have contact with the woman again--the way the woman will (if impregnated) automatically change into a mother. Fatherhood is a far more elective process. To become a father, the first thing a guy has to do is stick around, and many don't.
- The female brain is more ready to be induced...the threshold for males is much higher.
- Alongside the previously described and somewhat distressing evidence for the withering of moms' gray matter, with 7 percent losses in some women, other researchers have found that the maternal brain *grows* in similar areas. This contradiction is somewhat mystifying to the researchers themselves, though it likely has to do with the different methods that various labs use to measure brain volume.
- once they are exposed to pups for the long term, the brains of these initially reluctant rodent caregivers also start to change. Measurable physical alterations accompany the onset of maternal care in females who have never given birth...the maternal instinct is so essential to the mammalian makeup that males, too, have a maternal seed buried deep in their brains.
Potential policy implications:
- The mom's behavior isn't necessarily the wrong behavior...it's the right behavior for the wrong environment. Maybe a spoiled upper-middle-class "special snowflake," whose fawning mommy's brain passed every "responsiveness" scan with flying colors, wouldn't have a snowflake's chance in a poor child's version of reality.
- A mother creates a child who reflects her life experience. And that child, in turn, continues to shape the mother, cementing the feedback loop. Poor mom's environmental responses may not just be acceptable--they may be smart. The concepts of 'good parenting' and 'bad parenting,' independent of context, are illogical...Instead, high and low effort parenting strategies are conditional; that is, different strategies are adapted to different social and ecological conditions.
- To an extent, the identity of our cheerleaders doesn't even matter all that much. Pregnant women who are visited at home even occasionally by paid strangers, like nurses, often fare better as mothers later on and are less likely to abuse their kids.
- while marital status remains a predictor of mothering quality, moms who master their own fates and end up as single mothers *by their choice* may fare just as well as or better than moms whose marriages offer more pain and heartache than support.
- national wealth did not predict mothers' mental health...Nepal--where the infant death rate is still five time higher than America's and where 25 percent of the population lives below the poverty line--enjoyed one of the globe's lowest postpartum depression rates, second only to Singapore's. What might mothers lose as societies grow richer? We might lose community...Universally poor Nepal and wealthy Singapore don't have tons in common, but Singapore does boast milder income inequality than many rich societies. That gap between the rich and the poor is the real problem for many moms...it's mom's *feeling* like they don't have enough resources.
- One researcher recommended to me that the hospitals be restructured so that every mom, or at the very least the high-risk ones, undergoes the whole admission-to-discharge journey with a small team that truly knows her story, even if the exact same nurse...isn't there every step of the way. As it is, maternity wards have a freaky deja vu feel as you endlessly recite the same information to different people, yet a medical student still nudges you awake at 3am to inquire when the first day of your last menstrual cycle was.
In Finland, though, moms are kitted out with identical deluxe survival kits, which may include, among dozens of other goodies, an infant mattress, a makeshift crib, and (this being Finland) a tiny snowsuit. These are not merely material gifts. They are psychological tonics. They take some of the guesswork out of a mom's environment and signal that somebody, somewhere, cares that our needs and our child's are met. Also, to hierarchy-aware moms, there's comfort in knowing that every woman begins with the exact same baby box.
Other:
- our aggressive placentas funnel away more resources than biological mothers can afford to give, risking maternal lives in a unique play that would seem counterproductive...Maybe our systems take on the risk because maternal demise is not a death sentence for a human baby, the way it is for most mammals.
- According to the latest research, moms hit mobile consumer apps starting at 5am and reporting shop 15 percent faster than other people.
Highlights:
- hormones, man.
- we should have more paid maternity leave, but also, I'm further reinforced in thinking that paternity leave is really important and effective for more equality; dads need to spend more time with their kids to be good fathers
- our brains and bodies are amazing and can take a lot though also both moms and babies do better with consistency
Fetal microchimerism:
- After surgically injuring mother mice to simulate a heart attack, and then cutting out and dissecting their tiny tickers, she and her research team discovered just what they expected: heart cells with DAN that doesn't match the mother's own
- Scientists find rogue fetal cells while dissecting the cadavers of old ladies, whose littlest babies are now middle-aged men. Long after giving birth, the bodies of surrogate mothers are scattered with the genes of strangers' progeny.
- The fetus is designed to protect the mother, the organism most essential to its future survival
- One decade-long Dutch study tracked 190 women in their fifties and sixties, and those with detectable leftover baby cells were less likely to die of virtually everything.
- In a particularly famous case, doctors discovered that a son's lingering cells had rebuilt an entire lobe of one woman's ruined liver. (The case is notable mostly because the mother in question had no children. Her son had never been born but was living on, after an abortion, inside her.)
Breastfeeding:
- Internal gestation helps explain mammals' riotous global success: pregnancy keeps our youngsters warm, fed, and shielded from predators and lets us infiltrate even the harshest environments. But the same nifty adaptations that helped us to outlast the dinosaurs have also left females holding the diaper bag...for human moms in particular, the type of milk that we make is unusually thin and watery. Other mammals spend far less time nursing their young. For wild rabbits, with their rich milk, it's about 5 minutes a day. Fur seals may nurse only once a week.
- Even if their tots aren't present, lactating mothers are more aggressive than formula-feeders.
- once our boys are born, we do concoct higher-calorie milk for them. A study of several dozen healthy new moms in Massachusetts showed that boy milk had 25 percent greater energy content than girl milk, proof of boys' inherent energetic drain. Many mammals make higher-fact milk for male babies, especially in species like ours where adult males are larger, and size may impact future mating opportunities.
- This is called "lactational programming." Funneling a kid extra stress hormones, like cortisol, in your breast milk may result in a more nervous, less confident baby, born braced for disaster. In monkeys, these high-cortisol babies grow unusually quickly, prioritizing growth instead of social exploration, perhaps to up their chances of clobbering their unfriendly neighbors.
Emotions:
- "Sensitization" is science's term for our experience. It's almost as though our nerves extend out of our bodies. I think sensitization explains why mothers have a hard time watching movies or even TV commercials involving suffering children. We feel it too deeply.
- this suppressed reactivity--this dulling of feeling, you might say--could explain the evolved drive behind the "baby blues" that more than 50 percent of new moms experience
- Next to love, the most commonly cited maternal emotion is rage
- A brand-new baby's most likely murderer is his or her own biological mother--and across the world, mothers under age twenty are the most likely to kill their kids, and older moms are the least likely.
- the birth of a third child, in particular, seems to herald a slight uptick of maternal mental woes, especially if the new kid is a different gender from the first pair. And having a boy ratchets up a mother's depression risk regardless.
Different reactions to different stressors:
- pregnant women and new mothers are calmer than other people in the face of environmental stress...in experimental settings, mothers-to-be are less aroused by displays of deliberate rudeness and have lower heart rates during psychologically stressful events like mock job interviews.
- The stresses that threaten moms the most, it turns out, are very often not events like fires and earthquakes. We're built to handle sudden catastrophe. What messes with moms are creeping, chronic, and often invisible problems. Poverty. Hunger. Diapers.
- Economists have long understood that the birth rate and the economy are intimately linked--a $10k increase in average housing prices leads to a 2 percent drop in renters' birth rates
- A study of unemployment rates in Denmark from 1995 to 2009 showed that jumps in joblessness corresponded with a national uptick in miscarriage rates. Although there was a matching rise in the abortion rate, some women's bodies--sensing long-term hardship on the horizon--seemed to cut short their pregnancies without any outside intervention or conscious choice.
Bruckner calculates that a 1 percent drop in a California city's employment predicts an 8 percent increase in "infant mortality due to unintentional injury" that same month.
- it wasn't the hustling monkeys with the poorly stocked carts whose mothering nosedived. (Despite all the food hoopla, nobody ever starved.) It was the moms who got an unpredictable mix of both kinds of wheelbarrows, on a schedule alternating every two weeks. These monkey moms, experiencing a bonanza one day and a bust the next, were the ones who fell apart, experiencing a more than 25 percent increase in their stress hormones and swiftly disintegrating caregiving. Even though there was no caloric shortage, the perception that there might be was there...it suggest that what mammalian mothers should fear most is fear itself.
- Everybody has stress...You don't have to be living in poverty to have stress. But for people with higher economic status it's rarer to experience multiple things at the same time.
- [X- or Y-bearing sperm] each have roughly 50-50 odds. But that's not the end of the story, because the mom's body scraps about half of all pregnancies after fertilization. Fetal sex appears to figure into this hidden cull, with our bodies offering safer harbor to boys or girls depending on environmental cues. When the outlook is rosy and the mom is stress-free and in shipshape condition, according to some evolutionary biologists, her body is primed to favor sons. Boys are bigger, feebler, and more taxing to gestate, but--in good times, at least--they can later pay evolutionary dividends if they grow up strong and strapping, woo widely, and sire a bumper crop of grand-offspring. Baby girls, on the other hand, may be the smarter play if a mom's world is wobbling. There's less of a physical and energetic down payment up front, and while daughters probably won't procreate like a Casanova or a Jagger, they are more likely to cough up a couple of grandchildren even in difficult environmental circumstances.
Brains & hormones:
- a key difference between biological moms and dads is this: new moms are hormonally primed to seek out experience with infants, while new dads must have those experiences in order to get their hormones rolling. Men don't metamorphose into instinctive fathers after a one-night stand if they never have contact with the woman again--the way the woman will (if impregnated) automatically change into a mother. Fatherhood is a far more elective process. To become a father, the first thing a guy has to do is stick around, and many don't.
- The female brain is more ready to be induced...the threshold for males is much higher.
- Alongside the previously described and somewhat distressing evidence for the withering of moms' gray matter, with 7 percent losses in some women, other researchers have found that the maternal brain *grows* in similar areas. This contradiction is somewhat mystifying to the researchers themselves, though it likely has to do with the different methods that various labs use to measure brain volume.
- once they are exposed to pups for the long term, the brains of these initially reluctant rodent caregivers also start to change. Measurable physical alterations accompany the onset of maternal care in females who have never given birth...the maternal instinct is so essential to the mammalian makeup that males, too, have a maternal seed buried deep in their brains.
Potential policy implications:
- The mom's behavior isn't necessarily the wrong behavior...it's the right behavior for the wrong environment. Maybe a spoiled upper-middle-class "special snowflake," whose fawning mommy's brain passed every "responsiveness" scan with flying colors, wouldn't have a snowflake's chance in a poor child's version of reality.
- A mother creates a child who reflects her life experience. And that child, in turn, continues to shape the mother, cementing the feedback loop. Poor mom's environmental responses may not just be acceptable--they may be smart. The concepts of 'good parenting' and 'bad parenting,' independent of context, are illogical...Instead, high and low effort parenting strategies are conditional; that is, different strategies are adapted to different social and ecological conditions.
- To an extent, the identity of our cheerleaders doesn't even matter all that much. Pregnant women who are visited at home even occasionally by paid strangers, like nurses, often fare better as mothers later on and are less likely to abuse their kids.
- while marital status remains a predictor of mothering quality, moms who master their own fates and end up as single mothers *by their choice* may fare just as well as or better than moms whose marriages offer more pain and heartache than support.
- national wealth did not predict mothers' mental health...Nepal--where the infant death rate is still five time higher than America's and where 25 percent of the population lives below the poverty line--enjoyed one of the globe's lowest postpartum depression rates, second only to Singapore's. What might mothers lose as societies grow richer? We might lose community...Universally poor Nepal and wealthy Singapore don't have tons in common, but Singapore does boast milder income inequality than many rich societies. That gap between the rich and the poor is the real problem for many moms...it's mom's *feeling* like they don't have enough resources.
- One researcher recommended to me that the hospitals be restructured so that every mom, or at the very least the high-risk ones, undergoes the whole admission-to-discharge journey with a small team that truly knows her story, even if the exact same nurse...isn't there every step of the way. As it is, maternity wards have a freaky deja vu feel as you endlessly recite the same information to different people, yet a medical student still nudges you awake at 3am to inquire when the first day of your last menstrual cycle was.
In Finland, though, moms are kitted out with identical deluxe survival kits, which may include, among dozens of other goodies, an infant mattress, a makeshift crib, and (this being Finland) a tiny snowsuit. These are not merely material gifts. They are psychological tonics. They take some of the guesswork out of a mom's environment and signal that somebody, somewhere, cares that our needs and our child's are met. Also, to hierarchy-aware moms, there's comfort in knowing that every woman begins with the exact same baby box.
Other:
- our aggressive placentas funnel away more resources than biological mothers can afford to give, risking maternal lives in a unique play that would seem counterproductive...Maybe our systems take on the risk because maternal demise is not a death sentence for a human baby, the way it is for most mammals.
- According to the latest research, moms hit mobile consumer apps starting at 5am and reporting shop 15 percent faster than other people.
May 27, 2021
It's not really so much about mom genes. In fact one of the points that the book makes is that there is really no such thing as a mom gene. Maternal behaviors are too multimodal and dependant on different factors to be traceable to particular genes. But there are sill many interesting maternal traits and behaviors to be studied. A lot of them reinforce our intuitive ideas about the femaleness of motherhood, which will perhaps upset advocates of gender fluidity. Some of the characteristics of motherhood discussed here are definitely not just cultural, though it is often impossible to identify what comes from nature and what from nurture and frequently the answer is that it is both or that it it doesn't matter.
One of the virtues of this book is that there are tidbits of interesting information that I did not already know scattered throughout, such as that the fetal stem cells get into the mother's body and can have amazing curative effects and that the placenta comes largely from the genes of the father and may in some ways represent a selfish gene attempt by the male genome to dominate and serve the father's interests at the expense of the mother.
The worst part of the book is the irksome writing style. The author tries very hard to be lighthearted and funny. I cringed more often than I smiled, but still there is enough good infomation here to keep reading.
One of the virtues of this book is that there are tidbits of interesting information that I did not already know scattered throughout, such as that the fetal stem cells get into the mother's body and can have amazing curative effects and that the placenta comes largely from the genes of the father and may in some ways represent a selfish gene attempt by the male genome to dominate and serve the father's interests at the expense of the mother.
The worst part of the book is the irksome writing style. The author tries very hard to be lighthearted and funny. I cringed more often than I smiled, but still there is enough good infomation here to keep reading.
May 21, 2021
The book is about the science behind this transformation that women go through when they become moms. It addresses the hidden changes that go on in your brain. Scientists have learned that a mom's brain looks different after they have children. Scientists are trying to figure out what happens, why it happens, and what it means for moms in our daily, everyday, busy lives. Part science and part memoir, Mom Genes give us the latest research along with the author's personal experiences in motherhood.
The author sprinkled in interesting facts and figures throughout the book. For example, "According to the latest research, moms hit mobile consumer apps starting at five AM and reportedly shop fifteen percent faster than other people." Evidently, moms hear and see somewhat differently than other people once they have a baby. Their brains respond differently in an MRI scan than they did before the child. One interesting study the author mentioned also showed that our moms' cells are in our bodies throughout life. Crazy!
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/abi...
The author sprinkled in interesting facts and figures throughout the book. For example, "According to the latest research, moms hit mobile consumer apps starting at five AM and reportedly shop fifteen percent faster than other people." Evidently, moms hear and see somewhat differently than other people once they have a baby. Their brains respond differently in an MRI scan than they did before the child. One interesting study the author mentioned also showed that our moms' cells are in our bodies throughout life. Crazy!
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/abi...
September 14, 2021
This science of this book is fascinating, and I appreciated the mix of investigative journalism with personal essay. I did not expect this book to be heavy on the science (it's more of a pop science book), but even still, some of the subjects felt unexplored. And perhaps the most depressing part of this book was that it really leaned heavily on stereotypes--particularly a kind of "women be shopping" stereotype, and most especially, of the idea of an extreme focus on a fat postpartum body. (When talking about LIVESTOCK, she writes "Finally, folks who appreciate a plump mom!" (136). Far too many "jokes" for me about the size of a woman's butt or body after giving birth, or the idea that we SHOULD be focused on our diet or on our weight in a major way, or that most of us must be as a matter of course. Some might like the writer's dry style, and in general I'm all for joking about dark subjects, but to me, it was often off-putting here.
September 20, 2021
This examination of how our brains and bodies change as mothers was SO fascinating. I learned so much, and I appreciated her examination of how other cultures mother and treat mothers. One of my passions in life is maternal/postpartum care, and it is always frustrating to hear how the US is so far behind and backwards on appropriate support.
Some neat facts from this book:
Pregnancy brain is real—the hippocampus stops producing new brain cells when pregnant
More girls are born after stressful world events
Moms’ cortisol spikes less than others when faced with trials
Lingering fetal cells from pregnancy can repair your body throughout your lifetime
Some neat facts from this book:
Pregnancy brain is real—the hippocampus stops producing new brain cells when pregnant
More girls are born after stressful world events
Moms’ cortisol spikes less than others when faced with trials
Lingering fetal cells from pregnancy can repair your body throughout your lifetime
January 4, 2022
This was written well for the genre, but the genre is fairly dubious. It's a lot of just-so stories based on small studies and studies in animals. At no point does she mention pre-registration or replication, which should probably be an absolute minimum for drawing conclusions from studies like these, and yet there is wild speculation about the scientific aspects of motherhood.
It was certainly interesting to learn about fetal micro-chimerism, but pretty much everything else is so uncertain as to not be worth being considered interesting.
1.5 of 5 stars
It was certainly interesting to learn about fetal micro-chimerism, but pretty much everything else is so uncertain as to not be worth being considered interesting.
1.5 of 5 stars
June 27, 2022
This is a DNF
The book itself is pop science with a "winkwink to all the moms out there" every so often as she laid out the facts, which was annoying. One "amirite, ladies?" would've been enough but too often the author wanted the reader to share a collective "well, duh" with her. I learned some things but nothing that has stuck with me.
I also learned her husband is a pro-birth conservative op-ed columnist and then could not in my right mind/emotional state continue to support this book with my time.
Keep you morals out of the law and your laws off my body.
The book itself is pop science with a "winkwink to all the moms out there" every so often as she laid out the facts, which was annoying. One "amirite, ladies?" would've been enough but too often the author wanted the reader to share a collective "well, duh" with her. I learned some things but nothing that has stuck with me.
I also learned her husband is a pro-birth conservative op-ed columnist and then could not in my right mind/emotional state continue to support this book with my time.
Keep you morals out of the law and your laws off my body.
September 19, 2021
Every woman having a family should read this!
May 2, 2022
Great science & research, but the writing is rough & incredibly heteronormative.
July 13, 2022
Gene de mamă. Noua știință a instinctului matern de Abigail Tucker explorează, într-un stil informal și pe înțelesul tuturor dedesubturile din spatele mamei, fie că e ea la prima naștere sau că deja are câțiva copii la activ. Multitudinea de exemple din lumea științifică este presărată cu momente de sinceritate și vulnerabilitate din propria viață a scriitoarei americane, astfel că textul este o captivantă și fascinantă combinație de știință și memorii.
https://ciobanuldeazi.home.blog/2022/...
https://ciobanuldeazi.home.blog/2022/...
February 9, 2022
There is some interesting social and cultural commentary on motherhood here. The science is intriguing, but sometimes, it feels like a bit of a stretch. There is a whole lot of personal commentary in this, and it doesn't really add to the overall value of the text. Interesting, but not a must read.
May 21, 2021
This book was scientific and bits of a memoir and I loved it. As a mother of two, I already knew a few topics the author covered. I was fascinated with the information about carrying a girl vs a boy.
Highly recommend
Highly recommend
January 7, 2024
Interesting journalistic look into the science behind motherhood. As a creationist I was again wowed by the incredible complexity of female body and its interaction with its offspring. Felt a renewed sense of purpose in realizing how completely changed my whole person has been by becoming a mother.
May 16, 2021
The science is absolutely fascinating, and moms might enjoy the author's personal reflections more than I did.
July 22, 2021
Nice look at the science of being moms from humans to many other animals. Enjoyed reading it.
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