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Just Ash
Ashley "Ash" Bishop has always known who he is: a guy who loves soccer, has a crush on his friend Michelle, and is fascinated by the gruesome history of his hometown―Salem, Massachusetts. He's also always known that he's intersex, born with both male and female genitalia. But it's never felt like a big deal until his junior year of high school, when Ash gets his first period in front of the entire boys' soccer team. Now his friends and teachers see him differently, and his own mother thinks he should "try being a girl."
As tensions mount with his parents and Ash feels more and more like an outcast, he can't help feeling a deeper kinship with his ancestor Bridget Bishop, who was executed for witchcraft. She didn't conform to her community's expectations either; she was different, and her neighbors felt threatened by her. And she paid the ultimate price. Ash is haunted by her last recorded words: You will keep silent.
Ash realizes that he needs to find a way to stand up for who he really is, or the cost of his silence might destroy his life, too.
As tensions mount with his parents and Ash feels more and more like an outcast, he can't help feeling a deeper kinship with his ancestor Bridget Bishop, who was executed for witchcraft. She didn't conform to her community's expectations either; she was different, and her neighbors felt threatened by her. And she paid the ultimate price. Ash is haunted by her last recorded words: You will keep silent.
Ash realizes that he needs to find a way to stand up for who he really is, or the cost of his silence might destroy his life, too.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published October 5, 2021
13 people are currently reading
645 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 108 reviews
October 3, 2021
LGBTQ and then I always add a plus. It’s merely to make it easy on myself but I shouldn’t. The I and A are as important. Just Ash is about an intersex boy and although I’ve read countless queer stories, I never read a story with an intersex MC written by an ownvoices.
Ash is a sixteen-year-old boy who suddenly gets his first period in front of the entire boys’ soccer team. Ash has male and female genitalia. Specifically: a penis and a vagina. No one knows he’s intersex except for his parents who decided at his birth he should be raised as a guy. But after getting his first period, his mom wants him to be a girl.
I loved the way non-fictional content about intersex was interwoven into the story. I always get happy when I learn from a book. It was an easy read and I flew through the pages. Ash was a likable person and I liked Michelle, Evie, and Trisha. I loved the conversation Ash and Ariel had. But …
A lot of side characters were downright disgusting, including Ash’s parents. I didn’t understand his pediatrician, a boy suddenly calling a girl? And his mom too? It felt like the opposite of transphobia, raised as a boy, than suddenly treated as a girl (against his will). WTF? And I didn’t understand Ash either. He was so sure about his gender and just let his mom turn him into a girl. I wanted to scream and shout at him. Please Google! Birth control pills contain female hormones! Maybe there are other ways to stop your periods. Don’t wear that skirt! Tell your mom you want to go to the hairdresser! But none of it all. I read these parts with disbelief and even got a bit bored because Ash let all of this happen so easily in the first part of the book. The second part of the book was better, even though it was too rushed.
I wanted to love this book so badly and give it a beautiful four or five star rating. Sadly, I couldn’t. Overall I found the characters not fleshed out enough and too black and white, the pacing too irregular (slow parts interchanged with rushed parts), and the story laced with too much unnecessary drama.
I received an ARC from Lerner Publishing Group, Carolrhoda Lab and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Ash is a sixteen-year-old boy who suddenly gets his first period in front of the entire boys’ soccer team. Ash has male and female genitalia. Specifically: a penis and a vagina. No one knows he’s intersex except for his parents who decided at his birth he should be raised as a guy. But after getting his first period, his mom wants him to be a girl.
I loved the way non-fictional content about intersex was interwoven into the story. I always get happy when I learn from a book. It was an easy read and I flew through the pages. Ash was a likable person and I liked Michelle, Evie, and Trisha. I loved the conversation Ash and Ariel had. But …
A lot of side characters were downright disgusting, including Ash’s parents. I didn’t understand his pediatrician, a boy suddenly calling a girl? And his mom too? It felt like the opposite of transphobia, raised as a boy, than suddenly treated as a girl (against his will). WTF? And I didn’t understand Ash either. He was so sure about his gender and just let his mom turn him into a girl. I wanted to scream and shout at him. Please Google! Birth control pills contain female hormones! Maybe there are other ways to stop your periods. Don’t wear that skirt! Tell your mom you want to go to the hairdresser! But none of it all. I read these parts with disbelief and even got a bit bored because Ash let all of this happen so easily in the first part of the book. The second part of the book was better, even though it was too rushed.
I wanted to love this book so badly and give it a beautiful four or five star rating. Sadly, I couldn’t. Overall I found the characters not fleshed out enough and too black and white, the pacing too irregular (slow parts interchanged with rushed parts), and the story laced with too much unnecessary drama.
I received an ARC from Lerner Publishing Group, Carolrhoda Lab and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
December 11, 2021
⭐⭐⭐
I've never run across a book with a character that was intersex before, so this one really intrigued me. Unfortunately, I didn't end up enjoying it as much as I had hoped. I found it slow, and the actions of the characters confusing at times. I also loathed Ash's parents. That said, I gave this author an extra star for tackling a hard subject that I haven't seen in a fictional book before (I am sure they are out there). I also quite enjoyed the whole "Salem history" angle. So, a mixed bag with this one...
**ARC Via NetGalley**
I've never run across a book with a character that was intersex before, so this one really intrigued me. Unfortunately, I didn't end up enjoying it as much as I had hoped. I found it slow, and the actions of the characters confusing at times. I also loathed Ash's parents. That said, I gave this author an extra star for tackling a hard subject that I haven't seen in a fictional book before (I am sure they are out there). I also quite enjoyed the whole "Salem history" angle. So, a mixed bag with this one...
**ARC Via NetGalley**
June 21, 2021
Just Ash is a wonderful young adult story about an intersex teen. This Sol Santana had me gripped from the start.
Good god, Poor Ash. His body causes so much pain and heartache for him, just because of people being so damn judgmental.
Omg, this book. There's so much going on for Ash, as puberty is changing his body. With his female parts starting to develop further, his family is pushing him to be a girl, both mentally and physically.
Add in issues with his friend who he likes romantically, a whole lot of homophobia and racism, and the hits just keep coming.
And it's all as emotional and intense as you'd expect.
I appreciate the way the author approaches this difficult subject matter. Everything is written with care and compassion. I enjoy the layers, mystery, and intrigue throughout.
Just Ash is the perfect choice next time you're in the mood for a serious tale exploring the life of an intersex teen.
Good god, Poor Ash. His body causes so much pain and heartache for him, just because of people being so damn judgmental.
Omg, this book. There's so much going on for Ash, as puberty is changing his body. With his female parts starting to develop further, his family is pushing him to be a girl, both mentally and physically.
Add in issues with his friend who he likes romantically, a whole lot of homophobia and racism, and the hits just keep coming.
And it's all as emotional and intense as you'd expect.
I appreciate the way the author approaches this difficult subject matter. Everything is written with care and compassion. I enjoy the layers, mystery, and intrigue throughout.
Just Ash is the perfect choice next time you're in the mood for a serious tale exploring the life of an intersex teen.
November 12, 2021
2.25 Stars. I think this rating was more like a disappointment one than anything else. This book stars an intersex person who identifies as male, but his body just decides to feminize itself after he hits puberty. He's then ostracized and bullied at home and school, and his only friend, Michelle can't always help shield him from some of that pain because she has to go through some stuff as well.
The metaphors are also stretched painfully thin, though I understand where the author was coming from. The theme is not expressed very well in my opinion. Ashley is almost immediately othered once his body starts to go through puberty as a female body. He compares his plight to that of Bridget Bishop, who was a woman that was well disliked by her neighbors in Salem Village. Bridget was also one of the first women accused of witchcraft during the Salem witch trials of 1692. She was the first person to be murdered after being found guilty of witchcraft. I think Ash is right about one thing: Bishop was targeted because she was different, and the cover of the witchcraft panic during that summer gave people cover to get rid of her. Just like the misunderstanding of Trans and Intersex issues gave people the excuse to be cruel to Ash. But I do find issue with the framing, because Ash's parents are completely awful to him. They knew he was intersex, and just did a 180 spin once his body decided to go through puberty as female. The instant panic kind of works, but once they worked through some of those fears, I expected them to come around to Ash's side, but nope, they were horrible throughout the book. I can't say that it can't happen in real life, because I am sure it does, but it just doesn't quite work for the comparison between Ash and Bridget.
I think the ideas are all here, and the book just suffers badly from poor execution. It's a little scrambly at times, especially when Ash is trying to compare himself to his ancestor, though the end message is still pretty powerful. I think there are actually two themes here that kind of bump up against each other. One is that Ash's body does an unexpected thing, and he starts to feminize, so he's now automatically thought of as weird despite the fact that his body could do that. The second is that he was socially expected to do female things, as soon as his body became more outwardly female, and that he didn't want to othered him even further. So he's effectively treated as a witch - and hunted for it. It doesn't quite work, the comparison to Bridget, because it was more about her station and personality. She openly defied her community, and denied the power the men demanded they have over her. She was actually special for her time, but I don't think directly comparing teenaged Ash to an established firebrand of a woman was great.
We need more intersex rep in queer books or just books in general, and I like Ash and most of the side characters, like his sister and Michelle, but it took the pitchfork townsfolk to short a time to start actually wielding them at Ash. Ash himself, a person who strongly identifies as male, just lets himself be called female too quickly. Again, I don't know if this is like a lived experience, but he pushes back against his doctor because she basically reduces him to whether or not he'd like to reproduce, but he does not do so when his mom forces him to gender himself as female. It just feels too sudden to me. It looks like this is a polarizing book, so I believe you'll either love it or hate it - very few people were down the middle. Me? I was just disappointed.
I received this ARC in exchange for my honest review.
The metaphors are also stretched painfully thin, though I understand where the author was coming from. The theme is not expressed very well in my opinion. Ashley is almost immediately othered once his body starts to go through puberty as a female body. He compares his plight to that of Bridget Bishop, who was a woman that was well disliked by her neighbors in Salem Village. Bridget was also one of the first women accused of witchcraft during the Salem witch trials of 1692. She was the first person to be murdered after being found guilty of witchcraft. I think Ash is right about one thing: Bishop was targeted because she was different, and the cover of the witchcraft panic during that summer gave people cover to get rid of her. Just like the misunderstanding of Trans and Intersex issues gave people the excuse to be cruel to Ash. But I do find issue with the framing, because Ash's parents are completely awful to him. They knew he was intersex, and just did a 180 spin once his body decided to go through puberty as female. The instant panic kind of works, but once they worked through some of those fears, I expected them to come around to Ash's side, but nope, they were horrible throughout the book. I can't say that it can't happen in real life, because I am sure it does, but it just doesn't quite work for the comparison between Ash and Bridget.
I think the ideas are all here, and the book just suffers badly from poor execution. It's a little scrambly at times, especially when Ash is trying to compare himself to his ancestor, though the end message is still pretty powerful. I think there are actually two themes here that kind of bump up against each other. One is that Ash's body does an unexpected thing, and he starts to feminize, so he's now automatically thought of as weird despite the fact that his body could do that. The second is that he was socially expected to do female things, as soon as his body became more outwardly female, and that he didn't want to othered him even further. So he's effectively treated as a witch - and hunted for it. It doesn't quite work, the comparison to Bridget, because it was more about her station and personality. She openly defied her community, and denied the power the men demanded they have over her. She was actually special for her time, but I don't think directly comparing teenaged Ash to an established firebrand of a woman was great.
We need more intersex rep in queer books or just books in general, and I like Ash and most of the side characters, like his sister and Michelle, but it took the pitchfork townsfolk to short a time to start actually wielding them at Ash. Ash himself, a person who strongly identifies as male, just lets himself be called female too quickly. Again, I don't know if this is like a lived experience, but he pushes back against his doctor because she basically reduces him to whether or not he'd like to reproduce, but he does not do so when his mom forces him to gender himself as female. It just feels too sudden to me. It looks like this is a polarizing book, so I believe you'll either love it or hate it - very few people were down the middle. Me? I was just disappointed.
I received this ARC in exchange for my honest review.
June 10, 2021
Thank you to Lerner Publishing Group and NetGalley for access to this digital advanced copy.
Wow. Once I started this book, I couldn't let the day end without finishing it.
The topics covered in Just Ash are so important and so well described and investigated, especially through the conflict in the first half of the book.
I was angry and sad for Ash while this was going on, and then happy and relieved when things started turning around for him later in the pages.
I wish the second half of the story had slowed down, and went more in-depth in some places. It felt a bit rushed and I would have loved to have had more time with the characters and concepts at the end.
I really enjoyed the bits of history about Salem, Massachusetts dropped in throughout the book.
Books like this make me wonder if people can really be this horrible to each other in real life - but I know they must be and that's exactly why we need these books.
Thank you to the author for writing so eloquently about an experience not many of us have had first hand experience with in a book I could not put down.
Wow. Once I started this book, I couldn't let the day end without finishing it.
The topics covered in Just Ash are so important and so well described and investigated, especially through the conflict in the first half of the book.
I was angry and sad for Ash while this was going on, and then happy and relieved when things started turning around for him later in the pages.
I wish the second half of the story had slowed down, and went more in-depth in some places. It felt a bit rushed and I would have loved to have had more time with the characters and concepts at the end.
I really enjoyed the bits of history about Salem, Massachusetts dropped in throughout the book.
Books like this make me wonder if people can really be this horrible to each other in real life - but I know they must be and that's exactly why we need these books.
Thank you to the author for writing so eloquently about an experience not many of us have had first hand experience with in a book I could not put down.
June 22, 2021
Real rating = 3.5
This was such a heartbreaking read. Ash’s struggle to find and keep his identity was so tragic and really tugged at my heartstrings.
Whilst I flew through Just Ash in a couple of hours, I found the pacing in the first half of the novel a little strange. I think this, in addition to the lack of Ash’s thoughts and feelings in comparisons to the latter half of the novel, hinders it a little. I think there was definitely space within this to delve a little deeper into these to flesh his character out a bit more.
Some of the characters in this novel were truly horrible people, I found Ash’s parents and their decisions to be absolutely deplorable, so Evie and Trina felt like a total breath of fresh air.
I haven’t read a novel with an intersex MC before, but I’ll definitely be on the lookout for more after finishing this.
This was such a heartbreaking read. Ash’s struggle to find and keep his identity was so tragic and really tugged at my heartstrings.
Whilst I flew through Just Ash in a couple of hours, I found the pacing in the first half of the novel a little strange. I think this, in addition to the lack of Ash’s thoughts and feelings in comparisons to the latter half of the novel, hinders it a little. I think there was definitely space within this to delve a little deeper into these to flesh his character out a bit more.
Some of the characters in this novel were truly horrible people, I found Ash’s parents and their decisions to be absolutely deplorable, so Evie and Trina felt like a total breath of fresh air.
I haven’t read a novel with an intersex MC before, but I’ll definitely be on the lookout for more after finishing this.
February 22, 2022
4.5/5
For my full review check out my blog.
This book is amazing! I loved it so much and thought that it was absolutely fabulous writing. The author did a great job crafting a sympathetic character as he deals with the world around him trying to stop him from being himself. The first half was a bit hard to read for me, but I'm summing that up as a me issue. The second half kept me constantly flipping the pages for the next reveal and crying. Take this as my recommendation!
For my full review check out my blog.
This book is amazing! I loved it so much and thought that it was absolutely fabulous writing. The author did a great job crafting a sympathetic character as he deals with the world around him trying to stop him from being himself. The first half was a bit hard to read for me, but I'm summing that up as a me issue. The second half kept me constantly flipping the pages for the next reveal and crying. Take this as my recommendation!
January 14, 2022
The writing doesn’t flow at all. The tone and the vocabulary of the narrator is constantly changing. Nothing any character says makes any sense in the entire book. This reads like the outline for a book with a bunch of disconnected parts. Conversations end abruptly. There is gratuitous familial abuse. No rhyme or reason for the actions of the adults. The characters read more like AI creations. The only Latina character is a caricature and the author focuses a lot on black characters’ hair care. There are random instances of white guilt with zero depth. The main character also calls women bitches and says misogynistic things (because that’s required in order to be male, right?). The author sounds like she googled how binders work and also how teenagers talk but then did no further research. The connections to the Salem witch trials that are promised on the dust cover are sparse and don’t succeed at adding anything to the story.
There is just so much wrong with this book. The only parts I did like were when the character described the emotional turmoil that is dysphoria. If you’re looking for a YA book on intersex people, I hope there are other options. Golly.
There is just so much wrong with this book. The only parts I did like were when the character described the emotional turmoil that is dysphoria. If you’re looking for a YA book on intersex people, I hope there are other options. Golly.
November 2, 2021
Thank you to Lerner Publishing Group and NetGalley for access to this digital advanced copy.
Ashley "Ash" Bishop is a high school junior who loves soccer, has a secret crush on his best friend Michelle and is fascinated with Salem history. No one other than his parents know about his CAH (Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia) until his body starts to feminize. He is Intersex, having both male and female genitalia. His first period appears during soccer practice, staining his shorts in front of the entire team. This event leads to a series of life changing decisions which are forced on him. Ash must decide if he will stay silent or stand up for himself.
Possible Triggers: Abuse, Bullying, Homophobia
This was such a good book, and one needed in HS libraries. #OwnVoices
Ashley "Ash" Bishop is a high school junior who loves soccer, has a secret crush on his best friend Michelle and is fascinated with Salem history. No one other than his parents know about his CAH (Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia) until his body starts to feminize. He is Intersex, having both male and female genitalia. His first period appears during soccer practice, staining his shorts in front of the entire team. This event leads to a series of life changing decisions which are forced on him. Ash must decide if he will stay silent or stand up for himself.
Possible Triggers: Abuse, Bullying, Homophobia
This was such a good book, and one needed in HS libraries. #OwnVoices
June 5, 2025
Now, I'm not saying the writing is perfect or even great, however, I read this book (listened to the audiobook) immediately after reading another scientific book on intersex, and I was so moved by this story. It was written by an intersex author, so they have definitely done their research on different types of intersex, and this story very well reflects that.
The trauma this child goes through, even growing up aware they are intersex (which is not the case for many intersex people), is heartbreaking.
Society needs to do better.
I truly hope that this will change as more people are accepted to be non-binary, and that medical professionals can stop making gender bias decisions for these babies.
I would definitely recommend this book!
The trauma this child goes through, even growing up aware they are intersex (which is not the case for many intersex people), is heartbreaking.
Society needs to do better.
I truly hope that this will change as more people are accepted to be non-binary, and that medical professionals can stop making gender bias decisions for these babies.
I would definitely recommend this book!
January 13, 2022
Just Ash is an important book for any school library collection. The author does a phenomenal job of describing the struggles of someone who is intersex, and to my knowledge, there isn't another book like this one. I didn't love some of the decisions Ash made, especially in regards to his relationship with his parents, but I appreciate the discussion questions at the end of the book that delve into that topic. This is truly a book that will teach students about someone they may not know anything about. Although the writing isn't as strong as I would have liked, the topic is important and that's what will help me promote this book.
November 28, 2024
I loved this book soooo much! People don’t realize intersex people are just as common as redheads—a lot of people don’t even know what intersex means, and the representation is so important. I thought the writing at the beginning was a little bit all over the place and confusing, but other than that I thought the story was beautiful, and I’d recommend it to anyone.
December 24, 2021
It's great to see an intersex main character (and multiple intersex side characters) since that's never something I've read about before, and I actually learned a lot. Unfortunately, there were just some parts of the story I didn't totally enjoy.
May 3, 2022
4.5 stars
November 30, 2022
Diversity challenge: intersex mc
A story about self-acceptance.
CW: homophobia, interphobia, transphobia, misgendering, racism, gender dysphoria, abusive parents, off-page conversion therapy
A story about self-acceptance.
CW: homophobia, interphobia, transphobia, misgendering, racism, gender dysphoria, abusive parents, off-page conversion therapy
March 6, 2023
Can't believe this is the first book I've seen with an intersex main character?
One of those books where you just want to hug the narrator and also kick out the knees of everyone around him
Hilarious seeing reviews taking away stars because they didn't like doctors/friends/parents being cruel and mistreating an intersex character... like lol yeah its almost like interphobia is real...
One of those books where you just want to hug the narrator and also kick out the knees of everyone around him
Hilarious seeing reviews taking away stars because they didn't like doctors/friends/parents being cruel and mistreating an intersex character... like lol yeah its almost like interphobia is real...
September 15, 2024
3.5 stars but very powerful.
February 19, 2024
This is a tough read. This was my first time reading a story with an intersex main character. Ash's experiences and lack of agency as decisions were made for him were tough but honest. I think the comparisons to the Salem witch trials were interesting, but I think they could've been explored better.
Always a joy to listen to Avi Roque narrate.
3.5 Stars
Always a joy to listen to Avi Roque narrate.
3.5 Stars
September 23, 2021
Theres a lack of intersex stories out there, and especially own voices, so I was happy to have to opportunity to read this one. This book is very informative an allowed me to learn and understand more abvout the intersex experience, and I related to much of it as a trans person.
I did have some issue with the drama in this book. It seems it was trying to go for a realistic depiction of a trans teen, but so many awful things happened and nearly every character sucked that it made it seemed unrealistic. There was alot of trauma thrown in that it felt unrealistic, and most the adults in this book were evil caricatures with no depth.
Overall, this book was decent for a debut and I can see the author growing and getting better from here. This book kept me interested the whole way through and was a fast engaging read
I did have some issue with the drama in this book. It seems it was trying to go for a realistic depiction of a trans teen, but so many awful things happened and nearly every character sucked that it made it seemed unrealistic. There was alot of trauma thrown in that it felt unrealistic, and most the adults in this book were evil caricatures with no depth.
Overall, this book was decent for a debut and I can see the author growing and getting better from here. This book kept me interested the whole way through and was a fast engaging read
June 17, 2021
Thank you to #NetGalley and Lerner Publishing Group for the ARC of #JustAsh!
I think everybody needs to read this book. Whether it's typically their type of read or not, this book provides crucial education in a relatable fashion. I can't imagine reading this book without feeling compassion and empathy in spades for Ash and his REAL friends.
My only critique of this book is that I found the ending to be... abrupt. I don't think that's really the word that I'm looking for but I wanted more resolution from Michelle's storyline.
I think everybody needs to read this book. Whether it's typically their type of read or not, this book provides crucial education in a relatable fashion. I can't imagine reading this book without feeling compassion and empathy in spades for Ash and his REAL friends.
My only critique of this book is that I found the ending to be... abrupt. I don't think that's really the word that I'm looking for but I wanted more resolution from Michelle's storyline.
December 23, 2023
3 or 4 stars, im not sure. i read it quickly but the first half was slow and hard for me to read because ash suffers so much. i’m glad it finally turned out and and there was hope to be found but i think the second half could have been longer. i would have liked to have read more of him being himself and being happy once he got there. but i’ve never read a book with an intersex main character before so i really liked seeing a different pov!
March 6, 2023
Kudos to the author and publisher for tackling such challenging subject matter. This is the first YA book about someone who is intersex that I've ever read. If what one of the book's characters says is true, that 2 per cent of humans are intersex, the same number who have red hair, then this lack of coverage is unfortunate and indicates yet another example of hidden secrets, marginalization, and flaws in the medical system. The plot concerns Ashley (Ash) Bishop, a soccer player who has both male and female genitalia, considers himself a boy, and yet, has his first menstrual period at 16. Because the blood stains his soccer uniform, Ash is publicly outed, which leads to harassment, bullying, and conflict at his school. His homelife isn't much better as his parents are less than supportive with his father barely able to look Ash in the eyes and his mother determined to make Ash over into a girl, with long hair, dresses, makeup, and a move to a private school. The only solace he has comes from his best friend, Michelle, who accepts Ash as he is. But when her parents learn about Ash being intersex, they forbid their friendship and hustle Michelle off to a brainwashing camp. When a health issue relates to intersexuality leads to Ash's hospitalization and increases pressure on him from his parents to have his male parts removed surgically, Ash understandably freaks out and flees his home in Salem for Boston where his older sister, Evie, lives. She welcomes him, and she and her girlfriend provide a refuge for him. But his parents refuse to let him live life on his own terms, and they involve the police. Only drastic measures will save Ash from the plans his family has for him. This book covers an important topic and a rarely addressed subject with several strong passages that will frustrate and anger readers. The connection between how some of the early residents of his town were tried as witches because they were different or others had an axe to grind against them and how Ash feels singled out and suspect because of being intersex is carried all the way through the book, and there were times when it seemed as though Ash might decide to end his life because of how hopeless things seemed, all of which made this something of a tense read. The ending seemed a bit rushed and odd to me, and there are sections of the book in which time seems to pass in strange ways or parts seemed tacked on. However, despite any possible flaws, this book is filled with trauma and abuse softened by humor and loyalty with hope for acceptance and change. I'm grateful to have read it and learned from it, and I applaud the author for her gut-wrenchingly honest writing.
June 11, 2021
Thank you so much, NetGalley, Lerner Publishing Group and Carolrhoda Lab ®, for the chance to read and review this book.
TW: child abuse, emotional manipulation, sexual harrassment, misgendering, homophobia, lesbophobia, racism, bullying, conversion camp
Ashley, "Ash" is a guy, he loves soccer, he has a crush on his best friend Michelle and he's intersex, born with both male and female genitalia. For him it never felt like a big deal, until he gets his period and everyone at school starts to see and treat him differently, above of all his mother who convinces him to "try being a girl".
Forced to be someone he's not, to dress like a girl, to be separated from his best friend and treated differently, he starts to feel more and more like his ancestor, Bridget Bishop, who was executed in Salem for witchcraft.
Ash refuses to be silent, to be hurt and abused and decides it's time to fight back.
I really liked reading this book, the story was powerful, often hard to read, because it is so well written it's imposible not to love Ash and fight for him. He is a compelling main character and his story was written so skillfully I could almost feel his pain, his anger and hopelessness, his rage and determination, his will not to be cancelled and his desire to be who he is, to see his own existence seen and recognized.
Jush Ash, through his painful experience, both being a man and then forced to dress and "try being a girl", deals with many important themes, showing how differently men and women are seen and treated, gender stereotypes and hurtful ignorance. It deals with parental abuse and how those who are supposed to protect us are, sometimes, those who hurt us more, forcing their own children in their boxes and hurting them if they fight back. But it's also a book filled with love and friendships, hopes and new beginnings, fighting back and justice.
If sometimes the story feels a bit rushed, it is only a minor thing I didn't like. Reading this book opened up a world to me and the way it was written was so captivating, so beautiful I was angry, upset, hopeful and I followed Ash in his journey, cheering him on, hoping for this freedom to be who he is. Mixing history and present, love and abuse, changes and growth, this book is beautiful, raw and so well written, I can't recommend it enough.
TW: child abuse, emotional manipulation, sexual harrassment, misgendering, homophobia, lesbophobia, racism, bullying, conversion camp
Ashley, "Ash" is a guy, he loves soccer, he has a crush on his best friend Michelle and he's intersex, born with both male and female genitalia. For him it never felt like a big deal, until he gets his period and everyone at school starts to see and treat him differently, above of all his mother who convinces him to "try being a girl".
Forced to be someone he's not, to dress like a girl, to be separated from his best friend and treated differently, he starts to feel more and more like his ancestor, Bridget Bishop, who was executed in Salem for witchcraft.
Ash refuses to be silent, to be hurt and abused and decides it's time to fight back.
I really liked reading this book, the story was powerful, often hard to read, because it is so well written it's imposible not to love Ash and fight for him. He is a compelling main character and his story was written so skillfully I could almost feel his pain, his anger and hopelessness, his rage and determination, his will not to be cancelled and his desire to be who he is, to see his own existence seen and recognized.
Jush Ash, through his painful experience, both being a man and then forced to dress and "try being a girl", deals with many important themes, showing how differently men and women are seen and treated, gender stereotypes and hurtful ignorance. It deals with parental abuse and how those who are supposed to protect us are, sometimes, those who hurt us more, forcing their own children in their boxes and hurting them if they fight back. But it's also a book filled with love and friendships, hopes and new beginnings, fighting back and justice.
If sometimes the story feels a bit rushed, it is only a minor thing I didn't like. Reading this book opened up a world to me and the way it was written was so captivating, so beautiful I was angry, upset, hopeful and I followed Ash in his journey, cheering him on, hoping for this freedom to be who he is. Mixing history and present, love and abuse, changes and growth, this book is beautiful, raw and so well written, I can't recommend it enough.
March 21, 2022
This is the most unusual book I have ever read. Ash, a teenage boy, is intersexed, which means he was born with male and female genitalia, as well as male and female internal sexual organs. One day, while playing soccer, Ash gets his period, staining his white soccer shorts, and all his teammates see it. This comes as a complete surprise to him, he knew he was intersexed, but had no idea he could get a period.
The weird thing to me is that all his teammates assumed he got a period. If I saw someone I know as a boy (none of his teammates knew he was interesex) I would never think he got a period. I would think he was injured. Anyhow, for some reason they think he gets a period and he is bullied thereafter.
The rest of the book is about Ash's parents trying to make him live as a girl. The book was fascinating. The author, who is also intersexed, has done lots of research and the book explains different types of intersex people, as well as the problems intersexed people face from the medical community. Surprising and interesting.
This is not the best written book, and Ash's character seems to change a great deal in Boston, but I recommend this book because of the subject and the book's potential to educate. Some faults I found were that the author throws a few too many issues in it, such as touching on police brutality and religious conversion camps (that is a ridiculous thread- these people choose to live in Salem, how conservative could they be?). I also did not like when Ash refers to Aerial (the crabby one) as a species- because her species is human. It seems like a sentence Ash's dad would say, like intersexed people are not human. (And I know the author said it as a joke, I may be taking it too seriously but it surprised me).
This book is perfect for a high school library.
The weird thing to me is that all his teammates assumed he got a period. If I saw someone I know as a boy (none of his teammates knew he was interesex) I would never think he got a period. I would think he was injured. Anyhow, for some reason they think he gets a period and he is bullied thereafter.
The rest of the book is about Ash's parents trying to make him live as a girl. The book was fascinating. The author, who is also intersexed, has done lots of research and the book explains different types of intersex people, as well as the problems intersexed people face from the medical community. Surprising and interesting.
This is not the best written book, and Ash's character seems to change a great deal in Boston, but I recommend this book because of the subject and the book's potential to educate. Some faults I found were that the author throws a few too many issues in it, such as touching on police brutality and religious conversion camps (that is a ridiculous thread- these people choose to live in Salem, how conservative could they be?). I also did not like when Ash refers to Aerial (the crabby one) as a species- because her species is human. It seems like a sentence Ash's dad would say, like intersexed people are not human. (And I know the author said it as a joke, I may be taking it too seriously but it surprised me).
This book is perfect for a high school library.
October 13, 2021
My Recommendation: In general I felt this was a solid read. It trailed off toward the end and didn't have as much of an impact as I hoped it might when I first stumbled across it. I wasn't happy with some of Ash's decisions, but I really feel that Santana wrote a genuine story that highlighted many issues intersex individuals face and the challenges society continues to throw in their faces from medical and social issues to love, family and friendship. I truly wish the ending were different or there were an epilogue bridging some divides as Ash got older for hope and looking to the future, but that's on me, not the author.
My Response: When I stumbled across this on NetGalley I knew I wanted to read it.* That book cover has Boston (including where I actually live) on it, it's an own voices LGBTQIA story, and it happens to be released in October and set in Salem, I mean COME ON how could I NOT request it. Unfortunately, it didn't quite live up to my hopes for it. Maybe they were too high to start because the book started out strong but puttered out by the end.
Just Ash is the story of Ash who has spent their entire life as a boy who happened to have both male and female parts, but in the opening scene gets his period and a series of horrible events follow as he is forced to pretend to be a girl by his parents for some time until he finally sets his foot down.
Continue reading on my book blog at geoffwhaley.com.
*I received a copy of Just Ash from the publisher via NetGalley in return for my honest opinion. No goods or money were exchanged.
My Response: When I stumbled across this on NetGalley I knew I wanted to read it.* That book cover has Boston (including where I actually live) on it, it's an own voices LGBTQIA story, and it happens to be released in October and set in Salem, I mean COME ON how could I NOT request it. Unfortunately, it didn't quite live up to my hopes for it. Maybe they were too high to start because the book started out strong but puttered out by the end.
Just Ash is the story of Ash who has spent their entire life as a boy who happened to have both male and female parts, but in the opening scene gets his period and a series of horrible events follow as he is forced to pretend to be a girl by his parents for some time until he finally sets his foot down.
Continue reading on my book blog at geoffwhaley.com.
*I received a copy of Just Ash from the publisher via NetGalley in return for my honest opinion. No goods or money were exchanged.
November 7, 2021
This felt at times like I was reading one of the investigative reports on USA Today, giving me cringe-feel after cringe-feel while alternating between 'this can't really be' and 'how can we treat other people this way'. Ash is intersex, but has always identified as male. He's got friends including Michelle who is black and a ballet dancer. She's the only person who really understands him. His older sister is lesbian and moved from their home in Salem, MA to Boston when her parents couldn't accept her having a girlfriend.
When Ash has his first period during high school soccer practice, it's as if the sun started coming up in the west. Despite the shock, he's still the same person inside, but then the dark ball of misfortune begins rolling downhill. His parents want him to start being a girl, his friends, except for Michelle treat him differently, even aggressively, no one in a position of authority comes to his defense, and things just get worse by the day. I'd go into greater detail, but that would give too much away. His parents are a toxic train wreck, his sister, her girlfriend, Michelle, and a teacher at his new school are all solid gems and what Ash learns about himself, his family secrets and the intersex community in Boston are great integral parts of the story. This is a book that exemplifies the old adage 'desperate times call for desperate measures'- a perfect description for how Ash survives everything. This deserves a place in most school and public libraries because it deals with a part of humanity most know little about and does so via a gripping narrative.
When Ash has his first period during high school soccer practice, it's as if the sun started coming up in the west. Despite the shock, he's still the same person inside, but then the dark ball of misfortune begins rolling downhill. His parents want him to start being a girl, his friends, except for Michelle treat him differently, even aggressively, no one in a position of authority comes to his defense, and things just get worse by the day. I'd go into greater detail, but that would give too much away. His parents are a toxic train wreck, his sister, her girlfriend, Michelle, and a teacher at his new school are all solid gems and what Ash learns about himself, his family secrets and the intersex community in Boston are great integral parts of the story. This is a book that exemplifies the old adage 'desperate times call for desperate measures'- a perfect description for how Ash survives everything. This deserves a place in most school and public libraries because it deals with a part of humanity most know little about and does so via a gripping narrative.
Read
October 24, 2023Just Ash is the story of Ash, a 16 year old boy who loves soccer, the town of Salem in which he lives, and his best friend Michelle. Ash is also intersex and just got his first period.
This is the first book I've ever read about an intersex person and while I know it is a work of fiction, I still learned so much about what it means to be intersex and about the different terminologies and medical conditions that can accompany it. Just Ash was a difficult read at times. I listened to it on audiobook and my heart broke for Ash as he fought for his own autonomy against parents and doctors that insisted he live outside his truth. I really worried about him at times; massive trigger warning for suicidal ideation and parental emotional abuse and neglect. Ash's parents were so entirely frustrating and made me so angry. Some of Ash's behaviors were also frustrating, but understandable at the same time. I loved his relationship with his sister and the friends he did eventually make along the way. The love story was not the central theme of the book, but rather Ash's journey toward loving himself and finding acceptance. In that sense it was really lovely and did leave you with a true sense of hope for what was to come.
This was a very good and challenging book. Definitely not for the faint of heart. Although I do encourage you to read it if you are looking for information about intersex individuals or would be interested in hearing the story of an intersex person.
I found a very conflicting and difficult but in a good way.
TW for suicidal ideation, emotional abuse, some fighting, blood mentioned, parental neglect, assault, racism, homophobia
This is the first book I've ever read about an intersex person and while I know it is a work of fiction, I still learned so much about what it means to be intersex and about the different terminologies and medical conditions that can accompany it. Just Ash was a difficult read at times. I listened to it on audiobook and my heart broke for Ash as he fought for his own autonomy against parents and doctors that insisted he live outside his truth. I really worried about him at times; massive trigger warning for suicidal ideation and parental emotional abuse and neglect. Ash's parents were so entirely frustrating and made me so angry. Some of Ash's behaviors were also frustrating, but understandable at the same time. I loved his relationship with his sister and the friends he did eventually make along the way. The love story was not the central theme of the book, but rather Ash's journey toward loving himself and finding acceptance. In that sense it was really lovely and did leave you with a true sense of hope for what was to come.
This was a very good and challenging book. Definitely not for the faint of heart. Although I do encourage you to read it if you are looking for information about intersex individuals or would be interested in hearing the story of an intersex person.
I found a very conflicting and difficult but in a good way.
TW for suicidal ideation, emotional abuse, some fighting, blood mentioned, parental neglect, assault, racism, homophobia
December 8, 2025
A lot that disappointed me in this book.
I’ll start by saying that I listened to the audiobook, and I really did not like the narrator. The way they emphasized the sentences felt so unprofessional. Like they were a middle school popular girl reading lines from a play. It’s hard to describe. But it physically made it hard for me to listen to.
I’ll also say that I am not intersex, nor do I know anyone who is intersex (that I know of), so I am definitely not knowledgeable about that experience. Some of the critiques I have about this book are about the way Ash being intersex was talked about by the author, but those criticisms are about the writing style and writing choices than about the actual topic. I know the author is intersex and is obviously the authority of that area. I’m not contesting that. I will only push back on how the story was written and organized.
My first comment I guess is about the details of Ash’s anatomy. Pretty much off the bat the author gives detailed information, even down to the actual size in inches of Ash’s genitals, and I personally thought that was unnecessary. It felt like the author was just listing off a character details page originally written for background information and then just decided to include the whole thing. Maybe some readers will appreciate these details and find solidarity in them, but I personally thought it was not needed. In my view, the point of the story is not the specific anatomical details of Ash’s intersexuality—it’s about his family’s treatment of him and society’s complete lack of understanding.
More to come later
I’ll start by saying that I listened to the audiobook, and I really did not like the narrator. The way they emphasized the sentences felt so unprofessional. Like they were a middle school popular girl reading lines from a play. It’s hard to describe. But it physically made it hard for me to listen to.
I’ll also say that I am not intersex, nor do I know anyone who is intersex (that I know of), so I am definitely not knowledgeable about that experience. Some of the critiques I have about this book are about the way Ash being intersex was talked about by the author, but those criticisms are about the writing style and writing choices than about the actual topic. I know the author is intersex and is obviously the authority of that area. I’m not contesting that. I will only push back on how the story was written and organized.
My first comment I guess is about the details of Ash’s anatomy. Pretty much off the bat the author gives detailed information, even down to the actual size in inches of Ash’s genitals, and I personally thought that was unnecessary. It felt like the author was just listing off a character details page originally written for background information and then just decided to include the whole thing. Maybe some readers will appreciate these details and find solidarity in them, but I personally thought it was not needed. In my view, the point of the story is not the specific anatomical details of Ash’s intersexuality—it’s about his family’s treatment of him and society’s complete lack of understanding.
More to come later
July 9, 2024
This is the first book I read featuring an intersex main character, perhaps the first one I read with any intersex character.
While fast paced, I had a hard time getting through this book (especially the first half) because of how angry I was at basically everything honestly. Which, as someone who is not intersex, I really thought I was prepared to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
But it was more than that- it was how black and white characters views and actions were made out to be, and how all but 3 characters that I can recall (in the first half of the book) showed any kindness and support to Ash- it was otherwise complete anger, hostility and violence as soon as Ash got his period (which the book begins directly after this happens). And every bad thing that happened, happened so severely and suddenly. All of the horrors were packed into such a small time frame.
While there were gradual glimmers of hope especially in the second half, even the hope seems so small for all of the pain and suffering Ash faced in such a short period of time. I did like where the book left off though!
I also found issue with Ash justifying his emotional abuse of his mom, although I am glad he quickly held back.
I very much appreciated the impact of intergenerational trauma through this lense as well as how informative the book was on both intersex experiences and the history of Salem, Massachusetts.
While fast paced, I had a hard time getting through this book (especially the first half) because of how angry I was at basically everything honestly. Which, as someone who is not intersex, I really thought I was prepared to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
But it was more than that- it was how black and white characters views and actions were made out to be, and how all but 3 characters that I can recall (in the first half of the book) showed any kindness and support to Ash- it was otherwise complete anger, hostility and violence as soon as Ash got his period (which the book begins directly after this happens). And every bad thing that happened, happened so severely and suddenly. All of the horrors were packed into such a small time frame.
While there were gradual glimmers of hope especially in the second half, even the hope seems so small for all of the pain and suffering Ash faced in such a short period of time. I did like where the book left off though!
I also found issue with Ash justifying his emotional abuse of his mom, although I am glad he quickly held back.
I very much appreciated the impact of intergenerational trauma through this lense as well as how informative the book was on both intersex experiences and the history of Salem, Massachusetts.
December 13, 2021
To see more reviews check out MI Book Reviews.
I got an ARC of this book.
I really wanted to love this book. I got so excited to see an intersex character. Then when I learned that it was an ownvoices novel I was beyond excited. That is pretty much all I can really say that I liked about the book.
I never got into it. It was just so slow and disjointed. I had to forced myself to read and even then it was only a page or two at a time. I didn’t like a single character, I didn’t like the attempts at romance, I didn’t like that sexual assault was played off (how are they still friends?). I don’t like pretty much anything I read.
There was some basic plot, but it was constant interrupted about the Salem Witch Trials. If your setting takes away from the story, don’t use it. If this were a story that felt like it was telling the connected or complementary stories, then it would have been cool. Instead it really came off as the location taking over the plot over and over again.
I am sad that I didn’t like it, but it really wasn’t for me. We need more books with intersex characters and more openly intersex authors getting the spotlight.
I got an ARC of this book.
I really wanted to love this book. I got so excited to see an intersex character. Then when I learned that it was an ownvoices novel I was beyond excited. That is pretty much all I can really say that I liked about the book.
I never got into it. It was just so slow and disjointed. I had to forced myself to read and even then it was only a page or two at a time. I didn’t like a single character, I didn’t like the attempts at romance, I didn’t like that sexual assault was played off (how are they still friends?). I don’t like pretty much anything I read.
There was some basic plot, but it was constant interrupted about the Salem Witch Trials. If your setting takes away from the story, don’t use it. If this were a story that felt like it was telling the connected or complementary stories, then it would have been cool. Instead it really came off as the location taking over the plot over and over again.
I am sad that I didn’t like it, but it really wasn’t for me. We need more books with intersex characters and more openly intersex authors getting the spotlight.
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