I do understand and applaud the effort it takes to write a book, then get it to publication. That alone deserves all sorts of kudos. This book has an interesting plotline, a bit dogeared, but appealing. The execution is rough, and much of the book reads as a draft copy, unedited for the most part and definitely not proofread.
Dominic Knight (aka “Hawk”) is the president of the Blackhawks MC when he meets Angel Emira (aka “Emerald”) and bam! Insta-love. All events lead to an HEA with no bad behavior on either side. Angel’s past catches up to her and, as powerful as she is given to be, she needs her Knight on a shining motorcycle to rescue her. That’s the story.
The plot moves slowly, sluggishly towards its expected end. I lasted until 62% completion when I had to switch to speedreading mode. Besides the lethargic pace, the writing style is uneven. At times, the story is tediously detailed while in other parts there are so few specifics that the reader is left to guess at what has actually happened.
There are numerous inconsistencies that lead to difficulties within the story. Here are some examples:
There is an odd disparity in the writer’s apparent knowledge of motorcycle clubs.
-- A woman doesn’t attends church (club meetings) – this is as much for her protection as it is for the club’s – yet in this book at least one woman is present in church. Except for all-women MC’s, this won’t happen, even in the 2020s.
-- Hawk (the president) calls for a lockdown, but old ladies are still out and about. Hawk calls for another lockdown and chastises himself for not calling for one earlier. I think the writer forgot about the initial lockdown.
-- The writer knows about the last Rev, a solemn ceremony like a last rite, differing by MC, where God is notified that a biker is riding his way into heaven. It is a moving tribute to a fallen rider.
-- No one but patched members and some prospects are allowed to talk about club business, but everyone seems to talk to everyone else about activities that should never be discussed.
Angel is thinking about Ruby, an Ol’ Lady, and thinks, “She’s slightly above average height for a woman, a few inches taller than me….” But we’ve been told that Angel is five-feet-five and Ruby is five-feet-six. I think the writer forgot how tall some of her characters were.
Angel walks into a room and stands next to Dominic (“Hawk”) when her son, Reece, runs over to her and climbs in her lap. She is standing and doesn’t have a lap.
Angel’s children are used as plot devices and are not allowed to be themselves.
-- When Dominic and Angel want to be alone, the children are never around to interfere.
-- When the children are needed to show how kind a club member can be, they suddenly appear.
-- The children sleep on demand. They’re up early when needed to highlight family breakfast time. They are always napping when Angel and Dominic need some alone time. When Angel has nightmares, they wake up frightened if the storyline requires it; otherwise, they sleep through her screams in the night.
-- Their ages are slippery. We are told they were conceived three years ago, so including a 9-month gestation, they are two years old (plus some months). But…they talk like kids at least twice that age, or more. The writer refers to them as three-year-olds, apparently forgetting that gestation.
The protagonists’ ages are inconsistent. We are told that three years ago Angel was 17 when tragedy struck her and her family. That makes her 20. We are told Dominic is 26. As a child she was a couple years younger than Dominic. If so, then she would still be a couple years younger today. It appears that the writer did not use a timeline for the story and forgets the ages of some of her characters.
At one point, when Angel is recounting her past experiences, she asks Dominic if he wants her to stop. He nods. But she continues talking. A nod is used to agree. Perhaps he should have shaken his head? Or she should have asked if he wanted her to continue?
A club member dies and we are told he and his wife have no children, yet his headstone reads, “loving husband and father.”
Angel has consistently carried a gun with her, even to a shopping mall, yet in her own home, rather than grab her gun when faced with a dangerous situation, she goes for a kitchen knife. (No! Really…??)
In a torture scene, the victim’s eyes are sliced through and told that he will no longer be able to see. A few sentences later, he is watching his torturer.
N.B.: A good editor would have caught all of these problematic inconsistencies.
There are some odd word choices that an editor could have helped with:
“…as I survey up at him.” Hmmm…survey up?
“We jump into a staring contest.” Not wrong, just an odd statement. Jumping is active. Staring, while perhaps disconcerting, is passive.
While riding to a rescue with twenty other men, Dominic calls himself a nomad. He seems anything but a nomad. He is close to his MC, seems to hold sacred his office as club president, and joins his MC brothers in all sorts of activities. He does not behave as a nomad. He isn’t wandering alone from place to place.
“…sending calming shock waves to me.” Nope. The words, “calm” and “shock” do not belong together.
There are a lot of grammatic and typographic errors. For example:
“…her eyes identical green eyes staring up.” I’ve no idea what the writer is trying to say.
“…a voice asks, making freeze.” “…making ME freeze,” maybe?
“I would like you all to meet, my Old Lady, Emerald.” The comma after “meet” is superfluous and pauses the reader unnecessarily. It should read, “I would like you all to meet my Old Lady, Emerald.”
“…I notice the club logo on the back of the back of his jacket.” Hmmm. The back of the back…?
“…if any of you thinks you can take him,” I point at Dominic, “Away from me, you better think again.” Besides the awkward break in the sentence to insert a description (pointing at Dominic), there are a couple errors. First, in this case, “any” is plural because it refers to a countable noun (the men in the room, who are being referred to, can be counted). Therefore, it’s “if any of you think.” And the adverb, “away,” should not be capitalized. The sentence, as written, should read, “…if any of you think you can take him,” I point at Dominic, “away from me, you better think again.” It’s still an awkward sentence, but now grammatically correct.
The book’s X-Ray feature is not turned on and I miss it. I use it often when reading on my Kindle.
I think this book is odd: bitter violence and rape are OK. Sex and making love are not. Torture is OK. Swearing is not. There’s plenty of shuddering violence, but no sex. There’s horrendous torture, but no swearing. Go figure….
I rated this book 2.5 stars and rounded down because of its many inconsistencies and stumbling blocks that catch a reader unaware. If this is a first book, then perhaps the writer will get – or has gotten – better. Regardless, she needs the services of an editor and a proofreader; then she needs to listen to them.