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Forgetting May: On dementia, love and loss
May is a tough, resourceful woman who was born in a pit village in the North East of England and dedicated her life to caring for others. Niels spent his formative years doing everything from evading the Nazis in occupied Holland to ferrying monks across the choppy waters of the Celtic Sea to a tiny monastery on Caldey Island. Now Niels lies dying in hospital and May is in a respite home as her dementia is too advanced for her to be left on her own at home. Her son, Julian, is driving hundreds of miles to see her and soon realises that her condition is worse than he thought. As if overnight, his dear Mam has lost her husband, her home and herself. What kind of quality of life can he give her now? How will it feel to be forgotten by the woman he loves, who sacrificed so much to protect him? Forgetting May follows the process of a mind unravelling, in an honest and revealing tale of what happens when dementia lands in the family. Unpacking this terrifying diagnosis, it will leave readers knowing more, while feeling less afraid.
199 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 26, 2020
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8 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
August 1, 2020
Beautiful writing with flashes of humour. The story is told with such love, which I think makes the challenging subject more moving. I challenge anyone to read this without welling up.
July 5, 2020
Beautifully written, straight from the heart. Gives a perfect insight into the world of those living through dementia. Made me well up on more than one occasion but also saw me chuckling away at other points too! Well worth a read.
November 16, 2020
Forgetting May is one of these books that's unlike anything else you've read before. The kind of reads that stays with you long after you put it down.
The book is a heartbreaking memoir, telling the true story of May's descent into dementia, from the point of view of her grand-daughter, Jen. It takes us on a journey, guiding us from flashbacks to scenes in more recents times, slowly piecing together the life of the woman May once was, and her family's experience of her condition.
Broadbridge's style is raw and real, in essence very factual. She says it how it is, without flourish or embellishment. Though it may not be to everyone's taste, it's the perfect tone for a story so delicate and a topic so intricate.
Forgetting May is not an easy book to read, because its main theme is one that is so prevalent all around us, and so badly talked about. For me, it rang a familiar bell, because as a child and teenager I witnessed my own great-grand-parents' battle with dementia and Alzheimer's. So much of it hit home, and I found myself wishing I'd had access to this book back then - because it talks of a more humane and decent way of dealing with people with these conditions, one that's kind and considerate.
It brings forth dilemmas most of us try hard not to think about until we absolutely have to. It poses difficult questions, for instance should we forego quality of life in favour of prolonging life duration? If so, should we ponder the point of living longer if it means later years are deprived of simple pleasures? How do care homes handle that dilemma?
The book is well-researched, it's honest and it deals with grief and loss in a disarmingly candid way. And we keep coming across these absolute pearls of observation, beautifully phrased sentences, acutely accurate realisations about the human experience and the world we live in. Tidbits that will make you pause and nod in agreement, and think there can't be a better way of putting it.
Some of my favourites:
'It was as if she could no longer see herself as a point on a map, approaching the horizon of her future, leaving behind a dotted path of everywhere she had been. She no longer moved on the world; she stayed in the middle and the world floated around her.'
'Having the best death means having the best life for as long as you can.'
'The world can be kind and cruel to cruel and kind alike.'
Forgetting May is an essential read, albeit it at times uncomfortable. And I guaranty the first thing you'll do when you put the book down is give your parents and grand-parents a call to tell them how much you appreciate them.
The book is a heartbreaking memoir, telling the true story of May's descent into dementia, from the point of view of her grand-daughter, Jen. It takes us on a journey, guiding us from flashbacks to scenes in more recents times, slowly piecing together the life of the woman May once was, and her family's experience of her condition.
Broadbridge's style is raw and real, in essence very factual. She says it how it is, without flourish or embellishment. Though it may not be to everyone's taste, it's the perfect tone for a story so delicate and a topic so intricate.
Forgetting May is not an easy book to read, because its main theme is one that is so prevalent all around us, and so badly talked about. For me, it rang a familiar bell, because as a child and teenager I witnessed my own great-grand-parents' battle with dementia and Alzheimer's. So much of it hit home, and I found myself wishing I'd had access to this book back then - because it talks of a more humane and decent way of dealing with people with these conditions, one that's kind and considerate.
It brings forth dilemmas most of us try hard not to think about until we absolutely have to. It poses difficult questions, for instance should we forego quality of life in favour of prolonging life duration? If so, should we ponder the point of living longer if it means later years are deprived of simple pleasures? How do care homes handle that dilemma?
The book is well-researched, it's honest and it deals with grief and loss in a disarmingly candid way. And we keep coming across these absolute pearls of observation, beautifully phrased sentences, acutely accurate realisations about the human experience and the world we live in. Tidbits that will make you pause and nod in agreement, and think there can't be a better way of putting it.
Some of my favourites:
'It was as if she could no longer see herself as a point on a map, approaching the horizon of her future, leaving behind a dotted path of everywhere she had been. She no longer moved on the world; she stayed in the middle and the world floated around her.'
'Having the best death means having the best life for as long as you can.'
'The world can be kind and cruel to cruel and kind alike.'
Forgetting May is an essential read, albeit it at times uncomfortable. And I guaranty the first thing you'll do when you put the book down is give your parents and grand-parents a call to tell them how much you appreciate them.
August 11, 2020
A really honest account of the ups (yes, there are ups!) and downs of dementia in the family. I really enjoyed both the personal memories and the more philosophical analysis.
An absolute must-read. Whether your loved ones have been touched by Dementia or not.
An absolute must-read. Whether your loved ones have been touched by Dementia or not.
August 17, 2020
A very moving and insightful story of the progression of dementia, and how family members try to understand it and do their best for their loved one. Beautifully written and very readable.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews