Resurrect

by Astrid Jane Ray

Olivia Walters thought she had found the man of her dreams. Young and inexperienced, she couldn’t discern the danger lurking behind the beautiful stranger’s dark seductive eyes. Now a grown woman, she knew every single one of his tricks. For years, she hoped to be free from Alessandro Damiani’s clutches, and when the chance arose, she didn’t hesitate to take it. But when all of her plans fall through and her abusive husband is once again the charming stranger who swept her off her feet at only seventeen, what is Olivia to do? Destroyed once already, she refuses to let Alessandro do it again, but she can’t deny that her husband’s unwanted antics trap her in a dangerous battle between her cautious mind and her reckless heart. This is not your typical "hearts and flowers" romance story. It will contain strong language, disturbing situations and in some parts sexual content. Please don't read this if you are under the age of 18, or find such things disturbing!

Genres: Dark, Dark Romance, Abuse, Second Chance, Romance, Contemporary, Contemporary Romance

485 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 15, 2020

About the author

Astrid Jane Ray is an author who likes writing anything from poems to short stories and novels. Being a hopeless dreamer, she isn't limited to any particular genres, although she is desperately addicted to dark romance novels. Her style is best described as a mixture of dark, angst filled drama which is followed by the slow development of love and redemption.
More than writing, she likes to read and her idea of a perfect day is a good book combined with a cup of hot tea and preferably rain.

Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/astridjane_...

E-mail: astridjaneray@gmail.com

Reviews

[⚔Irunía⚔ · Rating 4 out of 5]

HA, since my review of this story mysteriously disappeared, wiped out from the surface of Goodreads, I think I'll have to reread this story and see whether it's any good and review it properly one day 😈

SPOILERS FOR ABUSE HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

What I remember: multiple rape, physical and psychological abuse, forced hair cutting, coercion into marriage, all performed by the lovely psycho hero. 🤡 ¿What's not to love?

The heroine wanted to kill him and I'm afraid I shouldn't spoil whether she ultimately decided to indulge herself or not. 🔪💀

A hardcore version of Virtue & Vanity if you must know:)))))) flavoured with amnesia and personality transplant (from prince charming to saviour to psycho abusive husband to loving husband)😂😂😂 (nothing funny about it, idk why the emojis...)

Currently 4 stars, subject to a change after a reread.

[Catherine Russell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Book: Resurrect
Author: Astrid Jane Ray
Type: Standalone
Genre: Dark Romance
POV: First Person (Olivia)
Rating: 2 Stars!

Age: Olivia - 17/22; Alessandro - 25/30

Warning: Spoilers Ahead.



This is my first book from Astrid Jane Ray and sadly I didn't love it as much as I wanted to. I think for me the hero was simply irredeemable. His actions towards Olivia were monstrous and I couldn't forgive him for them even after his explanation which made no sense. My hatred for him knows no bounds. I've never wanted to strangle someone so much. He was monstrous. And if we're romanticizing this behavior, then we're doomed. I'm kind of questioning now why I even gave it 2 stars. Let's see what all he did;

➜ He killed a man in cold blood in front of her. She had nightmares for weeks after that.
➜ He kidnapped and imprisoned her in his mansion and she cried herself to sleep almost every night.
➜ He slapped her so hard for calling him a bastard that she fell to the ground. She was still 17, btw.
➜ He mentally and psychologically tortured her by regularly threatening her family and destroyed the last gift from her mother which she was very attached to.
➜ He forced her to marry him as soon as she turned eighteen. She had no choice whatsoever.
➜ He tormented and raped (there's no other word for it) her on their wedding night and continued to assault her for years.
➜ He forcefully made her cut her hair because he was jealous that another man touched it. She cried and begged him not to, but did he listen? Of course not.
➜ When she finally dared to escape him, he belted her so hard that her back was permanently scarred. He later told her that she deserved it.
➜ He made her choose if she wanted him to kill her father or her stepmother for her punishment. She was so emotionally distraught, she couldn't even speak properly.
➜ He separated her from her younger sister for five years and said he didn't know her whereabouts while all this time he knew exactly where she was.

But at least he loved her, right? He loved her from the beginning and was just hurt from her rejection. That's the reasoning behind his actions. Can you believe this shit? I can't even.
I just don't understand the logic. I mean, if he was in love with her then why torture her so much that she was afraid of his very touch? The hero was a hard no for me. There was simply no redemption for him.

And after his accident, he suffered from temporary amnesia and it was like an alien possessed him. He was a completely different person. Complete 180 from his personality. He suddenly adored her. Now, he was all sweet and loving. Before, if another man even looked at Olivia, he would go insane. And suddenly, he doesn't care that she was affectionate with one of her bodyguard's.
No one can change that much. I didn't love this book. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And you know what, Alessandro?

[Fre06 Begum · Rating 4 out of 5]

First of all I want to thank author for this ARC it’s greatly appreciated. I would also like to say that this review is completely my own and not influenced in any way.


So I really enjoyed this book but I will warn sensitive readers this might not be their type of book so beware. Myself? Well I grew up with bodice rippers and older HP books which were definitely not PC like today so this book was not out of my comfort zone.
I love a book with an anti hero who is obsessed with his h and is FAITHFUL to her so this book had that and I loved the story for it. Some of his treatment of h I still don’t get and I still feel a bit confused by his actions. Even his explanation towards the end still didn’t make sense totally. I don’t feel his character was flesh out enough for me to feel like thinking “oh yes I don’t like what he did but now I can understand why he did it” I don’t know if it would have helped to have at least a few chapters in his POV? As for Olivia whilst I liked her I think she was too forgiving towards people that did her harm, I’m vindictive enough that I wanted to see certain people suffer for their actions and not let off. In this book she was too naive sometimes and not always rational but I can look past that because she was young and she was lonely. I think she was strong in her own way and her character was more realistic than her acting all fiery and combative considering the dangerous situation she was in. All in all I really did enjoy the story and the writing apart from a few minor errors was very smooth and fluid. I look forward to reading more from this author definitely!

[Debbie DiFiore · Rating 3 out of 5]

Abuse is not love

This was a very well written story but the premise of it is very disturbing. Did that make me stop reading it? Of course not. It was very compelling and I didn't understand it at all. How could he be so cruel to her if he loved her. And he was cruel. Beyond cruel really. From the scars on her back, to the emotional abuse, and the marital rape. Because that is what it was. He was a terrible man and I didn't buy the turnaround at all. I kept waiting for him to lure her in and then do something horrible. Even at the end. Keeping her from her sister was the cruelest cut of all. I almost have it a four but I just kept remembering how he treated her and I couldn't. The mind games, the traps, the hate was just a little too much. Do I think he really loved her? Yes, in a twisted way I could. He was definitely the poster boy for abusers. Hurt them and then treat them with tenderness until the next time. And believe me I know that cycle. The confusion and pain it sows is overwhelming. The memories never go away. So did I believe the ending? I wanted to. I wanted to believe in that place, the place that still believes in fairy tales and happy ever after. So I will go with that and say aah. After all that is why I read romance. To take me away and make me believe in love. But deep down in my heart I know there will be a next time. One way or another. So that is why I only have it three. Reality is a buzz kill.

[Serial Romance Librarian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks for the recommendation, Deniz!

Wow, this one was a doozie! The angst and descriptions of what Olivia suffered at Alessandro’s hands were gut-wrenching. There are many triggers in this book including domestic abuse, physical and mental. Olivia is gaslighted by Alessandro and she becomes a broken shell of a person. She has no fight left in her.

The story is set in the present and via Olivia’s flashbacks. We learn of Olivia’s motives for arranging Alessandro’s “accident”. Although it seems Olivia herself is evil for doing this, her flashbacks allow us to see what a hopeless situation was truly in with her pregnancy and how she would think that she had little other choice. When Alessandro miraculously comes to, he has amnesia and a conscience.

Is Alessandro’s character redeemable? Is his sudden 180 realistic? Nope, not at all, but I suspended disbelief because the story was entertaining and riveting. There were a few typos. This book needs a bit more editing. 5 stars because the author REALLY went there. I enjoyed this book and against all odds, rooted for their love to work out. IRL my feminist self would be reveling in Alessandro’s demise!

[Aou · Rating 4 out of 5]

She should have killed him anyway but because of the angst I missed, 4 stars.

[Pisces · Rating 1 out of 5]

I mean, I would rather have her punch raining down on his di k ..

[. (rip) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4✨

i needed more groveling from the hero because the things he did are unforgettable and unforgivable. (like the hair cut and the scars on her back)

[Arena♡]

dnf @17%

is it me? or am i just having bad luck with books lately today?

its 1 pm and i have already dnf'ed 2 books and almost died finishing the third smh

amnesia trope doesn't work for me, and turning the abusive H into a good guy just because he lost his memory is just like taking the easy way out. i honestly wanted a transformation from him being obsessed over her, and being really cruel, so much so, that he abuses her (ik thats sick) and then they gradually change and grow together as a couple. this book did not have that and like i said, the amnesia trope doesn't usually work for me.

i'm not gonna rate it cause i honestly didn't get far enough for that.

[Debbie "Buried in Her TBR Pile" · Rating 3 out of 5]

rating: unsure at this time

Still processing - unsure of how I feel or how to rate at this time. I did stay up late and read this one straight through. A trainwreck of epic proportions. Will finish this review later.

[Raffaella · Rating 3 out of 5]

Again, a criminal sadist and his abused wife with Stockholm syndrome. First 3 rules for my abused patients:
1- if he hits you, leave him
2- if he hits you, leave him
3- if he hits you, leave him
No way a man like that is ever going to change.
But…
3 stars because the writers did her homework and described the perfect abusive husband.
- we can also believe he’s changed after the accident. It happens that after a severe head injury a man can change his personality. Maybe this was the case.
- she should have left him anyway. You can’t live with your torturer. It’s not recommended. And he’s also a mob boss, that is not a cute thing, since usually it means he deals with drugs, human trafficking, organ trafficking, murders, arms trafficking. Not cute things. Just not a family man.
- even if it’s a very disturbing reading I found that the way they solved their 5 years of abuse is rally shallow and simplicistic. Yes I’m sorry, oh ok it’s all right. Let’s start again! Yes I love you. Me too.
No, it doesn’t work like that.
- there are many many many triggers: criminality, abuses, torture, slave trafficking, rape. So, if you’re a sensitive creature, beware.

[Preeti ♥︎ Her Bookshelves · Rating 3 out of 5]

Where's the romance or love in this relationship?
Their relationship is very stilted even outside the constant neglect and abuse (which is thankfully mostly told than shown). And then there's no closeness or truly intimate moments in their 5 years of marriage. So, even with the amnesia reset, it was a little difficult to buy them as a couple.
Also, the book is just a long drag. One has to bear with the h's long and (dare I say) 'whiny' inner monologue?
All because they have a conversation five years too late?

The Past - The h/H have an amazingly sweet meet cute and it carries on in a similar vein for a few weeks. She's a waitress at a restaurant and after seeing her there once, the seemingly besotted H keeps coming back every few days, making the 17 yo shy h fluster and fumble.
After this sweet beginning, shockingly things go completely south. The h gets entangled in something very unsavory, thanks to her gambling father and conscienceless stepmom. The H ends up saving her, completely by chance and then carries her away to his house.

Fairytale ending? No her nightmare's just beginning because the H seems to have had a 180º personality swap or maybe this is his real self.
“Be careful what you wish for...”
He forces her to marry him and then begins 5 years of unendurable and relentless torture for her - emotional and also physical.

The Present- The book opens here.
The h has just been informed that her husband has had a bad car accident but is ... not dead. From her reaction, the reader can pick up that she was hoping for the opposite result.
As a reprieve, the H seems to have amnesia that has made him forget the past 5 years. The h is wary to believe as she knows that her husband loves to play mind games.
Slowly, their marital years get revealed in a series of interspersed flashbacks.
“that he held all the power in this poisonous relationship.”

I can find fault with both of them.
And they don't seem to be two believable parts of a couple.
Yes, he's a cold unemotional mafioso and has a cruel streak in him. So, of course, his reactions to his wife's refusals, withholding and distress only fuel his cruel and malicious acts. Not that he's tender or loving to begin with. Many of his acts are simply psychopathic.
"... norm of our sick relationship; unprecedented cruelty mixed with tenderness to make you lose your sanity.”

As for her, I get that she was too young and too innocent to act/respond in any other way. But sometimes, I found myself clucking at her constant rebuffs and coldness. And even knowing where her stubborn and stupid acts will land her, she cannot seem to stop herself. Sometimes, it's more like teenage tantrums. Oh wait, but she's one!
Actually, what I wanted from her was some sense of cleverness, some innate survival instinct - anything that'd stop her from triggering her crazy husband. Something that she does fantastically too often. Other times, he doesn't need a reason.
So no, I'm not putting the blame of her abuse on her but I just wanted her to be cleverer and tame/defuse the angry beast. Then escape or have a hea of sorts - her choice. But to use some itty bit of sense. She knew him as someone very different in the not very distant past. So, why does she never try and learn what changed him?
“Tesoro, you're not broken...you're just feeling sorry for yourself. There's a big difference.”

I don't mind that she tries to kill him. Especially the second the time as she truly believes she has a reason.
But the first time, when she tries to shoot him after that foolhardy failed escape, is completely on her. The punishment ofc, I don't accept but how could she act so, without using even a single brain cell? She takes 13 shots at his head with an uncocked gun. And all to save her nasty deadbeat stepmom. Yes, for the sake of her young stepsister but surely shooting the H would anyways have landed them all dead. Stupid much?
“It appears I always need to take on the role of a heartless bastard for the sake of your sacred conscience, but I will not let you pretend to be a martyr this time around.”

A big downer and cloud on their hea (unlike many other such couples) is that the sex was never good for the h - not once in their 5 years of marriage. In the bedroom, he's always done things at his pace or played games with her - nothing kinky though. And she's always been scared and tense, never relaxing or enjoying herself because she just cannot trust him.
And how can he not see how uneasy, scared and uncomfortable she is in his presence? Constantly scaring her instead of explaining matters is definitely not a sign of caring or love.
The amount of constant daily stress and anxiety that this h goes through, it's a wonder she didn't end up in a psychiatric ward.

Still, I liked the story better in the later few chapters, not (just) because they are coming together but because at last 'new' things are happening and we have a change in tone.
There is more than one surprise at the end.
The first is good plot-wise, the second, concerning May not as much.
It was apparent that May would resurface in some way but not only are few things brow-raising and completely unbelievable but the reader finds herself in the h's corner again - unable to understand and forgive this last reveal about the H's actions - a very cruel kind of kindness.
It again beggars the questions -- how could he have been so cruel to her, for all these years, for what reason and what was the darn point if any?
If he was a true psychopath, I'd accept his actions but he comes out to be very normal, with normal emotions and a heart. So he should have gotten his head out of wherever it got jammed, after some time and stopped senselessly abusing the girl he's so besotted with.
I almost gave it a 4* but this confusing and confounding 'romance' eludes me.


One blooper moment - A scene that occurs in the past, four months ago (but comes later in the story as a flashback), her bodyguard, Broderick tells her that once she's 'free', she can go look for her sister, May. Looks as if the h's aware that May's lost or is now living somewhere else?
But, in the present, when the H relents and agrees to take her to visit May, they go to the h's old home and she's shocked to learn that her family has moved away.

And how does one 'gasp a smile'? People are constantly doing so in this book.
I think I've hyperventilated trying it out. :0

[Vellini · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great dark romance from this author. I'll definitely recommend it to every lover of the genre, especially if you prefer your H to be cruel /villain.

[Izzy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was confused whether to give this a 4 or 5⭐️.

My reason being, I am still uncertain why the H told the h in the beginning that he didn’t do romance, etc.... did I miss it or something but I don’t think he explained that during the discussion at the end about why he said that in the beginning.

Other than that, this book had a lot of angst.

h was a waitress at a restaurant when the H and his pals had come in on a Sunday, the H had looked at the h that day and he couldn’t stop staring at her. It became a ritual of sorts on every Sunday. The h was from a very broken family, her stepmom and father used to be at eachother’s throat almost every night and she used to lay in her bed with a music box and her 5 year old sister so that they could both sleep despite the violence that happened in the house.

The H used to frequent the restaurant every Sunday and used to leave huge tips for the h, so much so that she saved ten thousand dollars. The h’s father was into gambling and owed money to a cartel, the typical thing happened, they agreed to take the h instead, her father was reluctant and despite the h giving all her savings aka ten thousand dollars to her stepmom so that they could pay the cartel, the stepmom decided to keep the money and give the h instead. So during a human trafficking event, the h was just about to be raped by a very old man who had bought her for the night when she had escaped via the window, that is where the h saw the H again and cried for help. The H killed her captor right in front of her eyes and the h couldn’t unsee what she saw.

So the story starts here where the h became the H’s captive and was forced to marry him. He was ruthless and very controlling, he didn’t listen to the h on their wedding night when she begged to be given some time, instead he forcefully had sex with her, it was rape in my dictionery but it may count as forced seduction as well. He said he didn’t do romance but that was weird because I felt like that is exactly what he wanted, he wanted her love and he told her his actions were what if not love. It was very confusing. Some of his controlling and punishing behaviour I was sure had to do with his being a ruthless capo of a mafia.

But we get a great grovel and he changed a lot after his car accident and short period of amnesia.

All in all, I read this in one sitting and it kept me guessing what he would do next and I really truly felt the h was trapped. She tried to leave him but it was literally impossible with him being the mafia. She was only 18 when they got married and he was 25 so there was power dynamic.

All in all, this was a good one to read: forced/arranged marriage, mafia boss and redemption.

Safety: safe, H is h’s only lover, no other women or other men, H is celibate for a year or more when things were messy between the mc’s.

Trigger: only thing is that the H did some things that would be considered as dubious content.

[Lori [semi-hiatus] · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5*
shamelessly enjoyed this one even though the hero was awful.
Toxic hero? Check
Scared & doormat heroine who comes into her own? Check
Amnesia? Check
The perfect recipe for a deliciously toxic book.

Safety: safe, heroine was a virgin and hero raped her on their wedding night. A lot of their encounters were considered rape. He never strayed so that's good. But he did scar her back and made her cut her hair and other forms of abuse.

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars.

I finished this months ago and forgot to write a review. And i know that if i had remembered it would have been E X T E N S I V E. I would have gone into great detail about the actions of the hero and heroine. Some parts i loved, some parts i hated, but overall i finished it. Which means a lot in 2020 when i DNF books faster than they're released nowadays.

But alas, months have passed and i need to move on. But i will put my 2 cents out there from what i can remember of my reaction to this book.

The violence the hero inflicted on the heroine was too extreme and cruel for my taste. I wish he had redeemed himself more or i wish the author had excluded the violence. He's not a man i route for, and i dont think domestic abuse can ever be explained away by an emotionally fragile man.

I actually really liked the heroine of this book. I think this is the first book ever where the heroine enacts some justice on a cruel hero, and i was all for it. I like that she stood up for herself in the end. There was good grovel when the hero finally realizes how his actions harmed the heroine.

Safety: (as much as i can remember)
- Heroine is a virgin
- Hero had plenty of experience before he met the heroine
- Rape/Dub-con. The hero assaults the heroine on their wedding night and she is unwilling for each time after. He does satisfy her sexually (if that matters to people. I still classify this as rape)
- Violence and humiliation done to the heroine by hero
- Heroine tries to have the hero killed in a car accident to save her unborn baby (she's preggers with the H's bebe)
- No cheating, no OW/OM drama, no other people after meeting.
- Possessive, obsessed hero on the toxic side, not the hot side.

[Real Reader · Rating 1 out of 5]

Page after Page of Disappointment

In the author's first book, Virtue and Vanity which I liked, Sebastian's abuse and his path to redemption was kind of acceptable but in this book, the extent of physical, sexual and emotional abuse is too much that it's impossible and beyond redemption. No amount of reason can right Damien's actions. So I can't put myself in Olivia's shoes which made me feel she is plain stupid.

[100sweet · Rating 1 out of 5]

The H was horrible to the h; a true villain. Some of the parts were so difficult to read bc it was heartbreaking. I was sure that this H was irredeemable and that was exactly how I felt when this story ended. I can't believe the author thought we would excuse everything that happened. What made the H change? How the hell can you forgive the abuse, lies, and manipulation?!

[PeaceOfGod · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ticked all the boxes of safe read.










BUT I STILL HATED IT.


Why?




She wants to kill him.
He rapes her SO MANY times. Idc that she orgasms or not, but it was STILL painful for her.

H repeatedly abused her. REPEATEDLY.

I REALLY wanted to love them, both of them , REALLY!!!

But i COULD NOT.
I can't fathom the fact that she forgave him in the end when he transformed into Prince Charming.
The H's actions confused me. I LOVE LOVE LOOOVE an OTT-possessive hero(i am sorry for comparison here but i love the possessive H's of Jessa Kane's books). But the hero from this book was DISTURBING kinda possessive.

Also, I HATE THE HERO IF HE DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE KIDS WITH THE h. That's where this guy confused me. First he does NOT want kids, and when she announces that she's pregnant, he transforms 180 degrees.


I dont like books where ONLY the H is OTT-possessive.
Jealousy from BOTH is a must.


I LOVE doormat hs, but the books i read....the hs are doormat AND EXTREMELY intelligent. They let the H take control when he wants, but also go toe-to-toe with him when needed.
That was NOT what happened here.


I found this REALLY dark and disturbing.

Nfm


The 2 stars are for the intimate scenes.

[Angela Wilson]

NO! It would have been better if the author didn't try to redeem the Male character!

[Astrid Ray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Resurrect is available for pre-order on Amazon.

[Tmstprc]

I’ve decided not to star this. I’m not a fan of dark romance and this falls into that category. I knew going into it, I’d probably have issues with it.

She suffers through physical, emotional and psychological abuse for 5 years. No matter how sorry, this man is not forgivable.

[daemyra, the realm's delight · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars but I’m giving it 5 because I stayed up to read this. Reminds me a lot of Deadly Vows but not as unpredictable fun. Second chance through evil hero husband getting amnesia and thus magically changing into Prince Charming. Marriage of convenience, of the “if we don’t get married, someone will literally die” variety.

RTC!

***9/19/2022 UPDATE***

Decided to give it 4 stars.

We meet Olivia upon the news that her husband, Alessandro, has had an accident. She is not surprised to hear this but she is surprised to hear he's not dead. The story is told from the present, of Olivia dealing with her paranoia that her husband is pretending to have amnesia from the last 5 years (the extent of their married life), and the past, where we receive important flashbacks to their meeting for the first time, and their time together as husband and wife.

Resurrect runs the paces of a baffled heroine, shellshocked from a cruel, cold hero who has suddenly transformed into the perfect, loving husband. There is a mystery in the air. The question is, who is the hero? Is the hero the perfect husband or the cruel mafia man? Is the hero playing dumb and this is just another false hope to be dashed? Is this another game of the hero's to test the heroine?

It takes a writer with a good handle on character development to make the reader believe that the hero in the past and the hero in the present could be the same man. Someone who was selfish, manipulative, could now be understanding, reasonable.

In Resurrect, I sometimes felt it implausible. I ultimately needed more from the author. Alessandro's seamless switch made him seem more like a cold-hearted psychopath than turning over a new leaf. I'm not asking for the hero to continue to be an asshole but for him to change, I needed to feel something more.

Resurrect reminded me a lot of Deadly Vows because of this dilemma: An innocent wife that cannot understand the brutal mafia worldview of her husband. It is an Old Testament type of world, where obedience and corporeal punishment are not exempt for the wives of powerful men. Deadly Vows was skillful in making the reader and the heroine understand the heroine's husband without excusing his behaviour. Here, there is no nuanced explanation really given.

Alessandro has a reason for making the switch, but he has no qualm about turning his back on cultural values. Usually, mafia heroes who do this, also sacrifice their career.

I'm not saying this had to happen but there is a moment of reckoning. Alessandro doesn't really have it. He just decides he won't beat up the heroine anymore, so it makes his previous actions unspeakably cruel, and him a psychopath. That he can just turn it off verus awakening to and breaking free of his ingrained patterns of communication, and conditioned social values.

The character development for Olivia was also left wanting, at times.

She is innocent but that doesn't mean she has to be naive. Olivia was baffled by why Alessandro could not let her go. She says that she can pay him back. Alessandro doesn't tell her everything but she could have inferred that killing the people that are after her... wouldn't go away neatly.

She never has the time to reflect, gee. Maybe he has to keep me here because he can protect me more than if I go into hiding. To have me dead after he killed some bad men would defeat the purpose. So, if I want my freedom, I should try to convince him I can do a better job of protecting myself.

No.

Because Olivia does not have deeper reflections beyond "I am trapped", she comes off as a little naive. Which, she was. But her naivety is never addressed. She doesn't really come into her own. In fact, she was manipulated by men in the whole book.

That Alessandro is obsessed with Olivia reminds me of Monster in His Eyes - another book where a suave mafia killer falls head over heels for a college age girl who has... nothing to be obsessed over. That was the biggest head scratcher for me when I was reading Monster In His Eyes, and even here, sometimes I'd wonder what was with the infatuation. However, the age gap is less extreme. Alessandro is 25 when he meets Olivia, 17. So I gave the inexplicable infatuation a pass.

One more note on this. I like infatuated couples. I love reading romances where the hero and heroine have no reason to like each other except Cupid's bow hit them. But I love to read obsession when it feels like I'm caught on the adrenaline wave. I didn't feel that hypnotic pull here. I did on Olivia's side. I didn't for Alessandro.

I like heroine-only POV and I shouldn't need to read Alessandro's POV to feel that on Alessandro's side. This is why I like third-person omniscient POV that historical romances often adopt, because it can help give us both POVs.

While I compare Deadly Vows a lot to Resurrect, it is because there are similarities. In both books too, the hero has a vicious hair cutting scene with the heroine.

Resurrect was fun to read, but with its similar plot to Deadly Vows, I would reread Deadly Vows.

[chris · Rating 1 out of 5]

[1 star | if Goodreads gave 0.5 star option and that is what this book would get ]


No. Nope. This book is not for me. This book will go into my 'read' reading list and then I'll forget this book ever fucking existed.

For starters, I am a fan of dark romance. I can handle dark romance. But what I cannot handle is when someone uses dark romance as an excuse to include a r*pe scene between the two main characters and then never talk about it at all. Alessandro literally r*ped Olivia at the start of the book and then nobody fucking talked about it for the rest of the book! Pray tell me why the fucking r*pe scene was sweeped under the fucking rug while all the other ridiculous shit that Alessandro did (forcing her to cut her hair, slapping her, whipping her) gets addressed. Or did I miss the part where Olivia grows a fucking backbone and finally talks about it to Alessandro? High chance I might've missed it because I skimmed through the last half of this book.

This is not the my first book by Astrid. My first book was Virtue and Vanity and I kinda liked that book because Sebastian had a somewhat good groveling in that book (although that still doesn't exuse him r*ping Isabella). But Alessandro had no fucking groveling in this book. All he did was time and time hurt Olivia and then at the end told her his sob story, threw a few sorry's and other cringy ass words at her to woo her and that's it.

So that is what I fucking hate about this book. The fact that the author made it look like Alessandro's actions were justified and then didn't even do a good job when it came to making Alessandro's character look redeemable was annoying.

This book also took me sooo long to finish. The past-present dual timeline was one thing I didn't like. I admit that Astrid can write a book but there were so many times where the writing was very cringy. Trust me even if I didn't know that Astrid was a wattpad writer before reading this book I would've still assumed that she's a wattpad writer because the way dialogues and some other parts of this book was written literally screamed WATTPAD.

As I said, the writing was good but the way the characters randomly smirked, sneered, snapped, smiled cruelly, gazed with their dark cold eyes was just another reason that made this book boring.

I rate this book 1 star because I really felt like this book would be good with the way the first chapter started and with the way the story went ahead until Alessandro's shitty ass came back home from the hospital.

*sigh* Can't believe I wasted 6 days of October reading this book. I'm so fucking bumped man.

[Soma · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book is well written just not my cup of tea.
The extent of physical, sexual and emotional abuse in this book is too much that it's impossible and beyond redemption. No amount of reason can right Damien's actions. So I can't put myself in Olivia's shoes which made me feel she is plain stupid. I believe he deserved way worse than what she did.

[Siham · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my top 3 books of 2024
And officially one of my fav author
It's such a shame she doesn't have more books
I NEED Alessandro's POV
🙏 🙏 🙏

[Jena]

DNF 6% (might pickup again later, if I have nothing to read).

Story has a sad, mousy plain Jane heroine, paired with a “ breathtakingly beautiful” hero. I hate stories where the guy is prettier than the girl.

She’s also a depressing bore. If I have to read a plain Jane story, then she gotta have a fun personality. Only read 6%, and already I was bored with her character.

[Fae · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked the first half more because the second half got a little boring. The writing was so good. I normally dont like flashbacks, but the way they were written and the way the story uncovered slowly made me like them. This story is very dark. But the way the H groveled made their romance meaningful.

[S · Rating 3 out of 5]

Olivia


I went into this with my eyes open, fully aware of the many "taboos" many fellow readers warned. Heck, the author did warn me in the blurb, yet, I couldn't put it down.
It was a roller coaster.
It was psychotic.
It would definitely mess with your mind.

WARNING: [[[This book has rapeS as well as physical and emotional abuse by the Hero. He abducted her - after he saved her from her parents' debtors - and forced her to marry him.
- He raped her on their wedding day ... and afterwards their sex life was like a 'forced consensual - non consensual sex'
- He slapped her multiple times over the course of their 5 - year - marriage.
- He made her cut her hair - against her will - when he saw a male mentioning she had beautiful hair.
- He burned the only thing Olivia had of her deceased mother, even though she begged him not to do it.
- He whipped her back with a leather belt 13 times, leaving obnoxious scars, to punish her.
- He killed her stepmother.
- He hid the fact that he knew where her little sister was ... all these times.]]]

The book jumped back and forth between the present and five years ago.
I cringed and dreaded reading everything pertaining to the past.
It was horrible -> reading about what the Hero did to the heroine.
Alessandro was truly an anti Hero.
I really struggled to like him and I wasn't sure how Ms. Ray could ever redeem him.
I think I stabbed him and shredded his balls in my mind at least 10 times.
He broke her, he tore her, he toyed with her; he was a really, big, mean bully.
He literally, was a lunatic, a psycho.
The physical scars were easily concealed but the emotional scars took a toll on her; eating her from within.

Olivia met Alessandro when she was just a 17 years old girl. At that time, she was a poor working school girl living in a broken home.
Alessandro was on the way to become a Capo at that time. He was 26.
An unfortunate event led her to him and since she's a witness to the horrible rollercoaster, she was forced to stay in his captivity.
They married on her 18th birthday. For the next five years, Olivia was thrown into a horrible mess. She was tortured physically and emotionally. She was on a brink of her will to live, until she found out she was pregnant. Utterly horrified for her baby's life - because Alessandro had made it clear he never wanted children, Olivia plotted for his murder. After the accident, Alessandro woke up from the comma; a complete new man. A changed man. He was no longer the cutting, conniving, cruel man he used to be. And he seemed to want to build a real relationship with his wife. He was ... nice.
But Olivia had been on this path numerous times. Nice was never in the cards for her.
This state was always the calm before the storm. So, she became wary and always on her toes. Was he toying with her mind? Was he pretending? What would happen when he remembered? What if he found out the truth about the accident?
But strangely, he seemed really genuine to want to start a fresh. He was shocked to learn what he did to her. Trying to make sense of his unusual behaviors, she was at a loss.

In the beginning, I was constantly wondering how would the author redeem Alessandro.
She couldn't.
All the reasonings in the end ... did not justify.
Everything he did was too crazy (in the worst way) to be redeemable.
This was a hit / miss kind of book.
Although I hated Alessandro with all my being, I read this book till the end. My docking of 2 stars was purely due to my hatred of Alessandro, otherwise, I would have given it 5 stars. The writing itself was magical. The grovel was not enough. Not even close.
Too easy. I mean, to make up for the past five years? I wanted more. BUT! I must say that I enjoyed reading this book.

Not OK Disclaimer:
Let me just state though - I don't condone any physical abuse in any real life relationships.
Once a hitter, always a hitter - regardless of the 'reason'. But since this was a fiction, I guess I could let it slide as entertainment.

[Ishiqa Meghoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Astrid never disappoints!
This books is a gem.
I"ll try not to spoil too much ;).
So they have history about how they met and *uhumm* STUFF, but the fun starts after Alessandro loses his memory in an accident he survived which uhmm "someone" planned, he finds out that he was a cruel and abusive bastard towards Olivia in the past.
He tries to make things right between them, and will do anything to earn her forgiveness and keep her and his unborn child by his side.
You"ll love this story if you love a great groveling hero and heroine that fears the hero.
I really, really enjoyed this book and enjoyed the groveling hero very much!