My Tidda, My Sister: Stories of Strength and Resilience from Australia's First Women

by Marlee Silva, Rachael Sarra (Illustrator)

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander culture and society has existed on this continent for millennia. It's a culture that manifests itself as the ultimate example of resilience, strength and beauty. It’s also a culture that has consistently been led by its women.

My Tidda, My Sister shares the experiences of many Indigenous women and girls, brought together by author and host of the Tiddas 4 Tiddas podcast, Marlee Silva. The voices of First Nations’ women that Marlee weaves through the book provide a rebuttal to the idea that 'you can’t be what you can’t see'. For non-Indigenous women, it demonstrates the diversity of what success can look like and offers an insight into the lives of their Indigenous sisters and peers.

Featuring colourful artwork by artist Rachael Sarra, this book is a celebration of the Indigenous female experience through truth-telling. Some stories are heart-warming, while others shine a light on the terrible realities for many Australian Indigenous women, both in the past and in the present. But what they all share is the ability to inspire and empower, creating a sisterhood for all Australian women.

Also features foreword by Helpmann and AACTA award-winning actor Leah Purcell.

Genres: Nonfiction, Indigenous, Australia, Short Stories, Memoir, Feminism, Cultural

192 pages, Hardcover

Published September 2, 2020

About the author

Marlee Silva is a 21-year-old Kamilaroi and Dunghutti woman who was born and raised on Dharrawal country in the Sutherland Shire, south of Sydney. She is completing a double degree at the University of Wollongong, and has also worked with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander high school kids through an Aboriginal non-profit called AIME Mentoring. In 2016 she spent twelve months as the organisation’s Co-CEO, which allowed her to travel across the country speaking to hundreds of Aboriginal kids and showed her that while the experiences we face are diverse, rich and complex, we all seem to have an unfaltering resilience in common.

Reviews

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for our December Book Club read. My Tidda, My Sister is a collection of biographical short stories told by young Indigenous woman Marlee Silva, of the instagram page Tiddas4Tiddas. The aim of the book was to showcase stories of successful Indigenous Australian women as an inspiration to other Indigenous women. The word Tiddas means sisters in some Indigenous Australian languages.

This was a beautifully presented and illustrated book that would likely be an uplifting read for young Blak women. One of the recurring issues dealt with was the difficulty of being a light-skinned Indigenous person in a society that struggles to accept and understand this. The book promotes tolerance and acceptance of white-passing blakfullas and their cultural identity.

For me personally, I found this book skimmed over the stories and I was unable to gain much sense of the women written about. I also found it impossible to be fully immersed in any of the stories as the narrator-voice was very intrusive and kept returning to her own story or responses. It reads more like a blog, and I guess for me reading a book with too many mentions of hashtags and I’m out.

I was unaware of the controversy surrounding the book until after reading it. Some of the concerns were raised by the Indigenous community, and I believe were about cultural accountability, whether knowledge was shared that should not have been, the use of people’s words and stories from the blog, and also a perpetuation of colonial mindset by highlighting the successes of women using a fairly white view of success. Culturally I am unable to comment on any of this and I have no knowledge about whether Marlee consulted with Aboriginal elders about her work and whether permission was sought to share womens’ stories. I can see that it forms a fairly narrow slice of Indigenous Australian experience featuring predominantly urban women who tended to be university graduates. There did not seem to be any representation of women from remote communities or women who contributed to their mob by raising their grandchildren for example, or were successful in any broader sense.

What does make me sad however, is the effective cancelling of a young Blak woman whose aim was to inspire other young women. The Tiddas4Tiddas instagram platform has been shut down since the backlash. I understand why we cancel wealthy middle-aged sexual predators, although usually it seems to make little dent on them, but to cancel a young, positive woman of colour seems an entirely different thing. I can only hope this truly is related to issues of cultural accountability that have been created through youth and naïveté and maybe can be remedied, and that it is not another example of the Tall Poppy Syndrome which is sadly so ubiquitous in Australia. Overall a wonderful idea and an important book representing voices we do not hear enough from, but sadly weighed down by issues in its creation and execution.

[Kirsty Fealy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow!! I read this book in one sitting and I have never felt more inspired, connected and confident about the future of our Indigenous women.

I have only newly discovered by Aboriginality and this book has come at the perfect time. Reading the stories of each amazing tidda has made me feel more connected and at peace with my Aboriginal identity.

Whether you are Indigenous or not, this book is an amazing insight into the thought processes and lives of Indigenous people, especially our amazing women.

You should be so proud Marlee!

[Jennifer (JC-S) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did not know what to expect when I picked up this beautifully presented book. Marlee Silva, author and host of Tiddas4Tiddas, has brought together the experiences of several Indigenous women and girls, Rachael Sarra has surrounded the stories with colourful, vibrant artwork.

The stories are inspiring: full of hope and courage, as well as recognition of the difficult reality of life for many Indigenous people.

Two things stood out for me. The first is the need to share the success stories. It is the success stories that will provide the positive role models and inspire others. The second was this reflection on Australia Day:

‘It is important to stress, though, I will still feel unable to celebrate Australia on any day, if the date change isn’t accompanied by a change in attitudes and actions.’

It is obvious, isn’t it? So obvious that most of us have missed this critically important issue. What are we celebrating, and why?

There are thoughts about identity and belonging, about connection to culture. Different experiences. And there is this perspective:

‘For a lot of women, but particularly women of colour or other minority backgrounds, imposter syndrome is something they face every day when they find success in what they do, or step out from the expectations broader society has of them. It refers to an overwhelming sense that you don’t deserve to receive recognition or praise or to have opportunities you’ve received or be on particular platforms.’

How many of you can relate to this?

Be inspired, and don’t forget to share your success stories.

Jennifer Cameron-Smith

[Sian Santiago · Rating 4 out of 5]

Uplifting and beautiful, this book provides a unique opportunity to experience the stories of fierce women through the eyes of Marlee Silva.

I enjoyed reading stories of experiences from close to where I grew up as a number of participants are from the Sutherland Shire. I also reflected upon the impacts of being one of only a small few Indigenous students in a school setting and how important it is for educators to boost these students’ outcomes and support their wellbeing.

I look forward to using this text to support my teaching of indigenous perspectives within my own classroom and passing it on to all the deadly tiddas that I know.

[Bianca Rose (Belladonnabooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a truly inspiring read and I feel uplifted and positive after reading this collection of stories collected from Indigenous Australian women. Our women are brave, strong, resilient, determined and fierce! I am proud to be a First Nations Australian woman and proud of Marlee for putting this beautiful book together.

I would recommend this to all women from teens to the elderly. There’s something here to inspire any woman, regardless of their background or identity.

[Ali · Rating 2 out of 5]

This wasn't really what I was expecting: less a compendium of interviews than a grouping of Insta posts, the focus here is on Silva's take on these women she admires. It was a little heavy on reminding us that Silva admires them, and a little light on their stories for me, but as a pep talk book for young Blak women, I suspect it would work.

[Liz Calligeros · Rating 5 out of 5]

These 165-pages contain a collection of stories written by and about Australia’s strong and resilient First Women who are making moves to be the game changers of our lifetime.

As I was reading, I often thought about what an honour it is to be alive at the same time as them.

The story telling in these pages had me in absolute awe, which shouldn’t be a shock as First Nations women have been telling stories on this land for over 60,000 years.

For years now I have tried my best to learn and develop a deeper understanding of the experience of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, knowing that what I had learnt while in a classroom was not nearly enough.

Nothing about this book is comfortable to read as a white woman - but it is not the responsibility of First Nation’s people to make us comfortable. It isn’t even their responsibility to educate us, that should be on us, but they are generously gifting that knowledge to us.

I imagine this book has felt like a warm hug to young First Nation’s women who are confused about where they belong. The shared experience of these women is something only they can relate to and having a platform like Tiddas 4 Tiddas is such a valuable safe space – this book is an extension of this.

I thank Marlee and the women who so selflessly shared their stories within these pages. Thank you for giving a platform to your experiences and for loving this land so fiercely. I truly believe you are changing the course of history.

[Katie]

This is a nice introductory look at First Nations Australian women's stories and issues. If you follow the Instagram or similar Instagram accounts it won't be anything particularly challenging or revolutionary, but it was still a worthwhile read. The interviewees were all really interesting but a bit surfacey. The illustrations were particularly striking so make sure to read a physical copy of this one (not an audio one) and look out for the poetry - it was great. Also, this is the only book I've ever read that gave a TW in the book which was pretty excellent to see.

[Krystelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A powerful set of stories and pieces of life advice from Indigenous women, this book is a marvelous resource for those looking to expand their understanding of life as an Indigenous woman, and how to navigate the entrenched discrimination that pervades our society. This book wasn't necessarily one that was written for me, but it holds valuable lessons about how to make sure that I am not part of the problem as best I can be. I thought there was so much to learn in here, and it's fascinating to get such an insight from incredibly strong and resilient women who have built an amazing community online from scratch (and offline too!).

[Rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very short and surface level interviews of aboriginal women, intertwined with Silva’s own essay on social issues affecting aboriginal women. I would have loved to have had these interviews in a longer and in-depth form. If you are across aboriginal issues, there really isn’t anything new here. I would suggest giving this visually beautiful book to your non-indigenous mother/grandmother/ aunty who could use a nudge in the direction of these issues.

[Andrew Bysterveldt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read the criticism. If the stories were shared without permission, then that’s not on. But I don’t know what the truth is of that issue so I will write my review based on the book at face value.

It was a refreshing read. The stories shared the strength and culture of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women. It wasn’t the usual book about this topic - this book was raw and vulnerable.

As someone who struggles with my own mixed race identity (Asian - European), this aspect of the book resonated with me. This book told the story of what it’s like to not fit within one’s own culture based on exclusion from both sides of one’s heritage. It’s a story that needs to be told for all the people who are not traditionally fitting into their First Nations (or other minority) culture due to mixed heritage.

[Ashleigh]

A beautiful celebration of the strength and resilience of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read a book like this!

[Ella Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really eye opening, a book full of moving stories and first hand accounts that were vulnerable and meaningful. A must read for all.

[Luisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was wonderful in many ways.. but the most relevant to me was the further revealing of the depths of my own privilege and racism. I starting reading the book, and although I was open to the stories, I judged the writing and the genre... I came to realise that that judgement itself comes out of a white middle class tertiary environment that seeks to validate itself by setting up rules around literature that is completely self serving.. These stories opened my eyes to the stories of these women, but also to myself and how much there is to do to get out of the way to allow others voices to be heard.. thank you

[Dale · Rating 4 out of 5]

I genuinely don’t know if I have the articulation required to fully describe how important, beautiful and inspiring this book is. My only hope is that more white women, like myself, pick this book up and let themselves absorb the stories and emotions that are written here. Marlee Silva has created a simply beautiful book and I genuinely think if more Australian’s would prioritise this kind of perspective, the perspective of our Indigenous women, our country, our planet and all of our people would be much happier.

[Donna Howard · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a wonderful book of stories written by indigenous author Marlee Silva. It left me wanting more, and I will endeavour to improve my knowledge and understanding of our indigenous culture and heritage. We have such a long way to go but hearing these beautiful stories of resilience gives me a great sense of hope.

[Caoimhe · Rating 3 out of 5]

First, I want to say that I'm so, so happy that this book exists. I'm so excited that there's a whole, easily accessible book of stories from Aboriginal women.
I do have some reservations about this book, though. First, it felt quite formulaic. All the stories were about overcoming adversity, which is an important topic, but it felt that the lives of these women were neatly bisected into "doing it tough" and "doing amazingly". I'm sure the "everything works out in the end" approach works for some people, and I'm so grateful to have access to a whole book about happy and successful Aboriginal women. However, stories like these feel too good to be true, and as such I didn't feel overly empowered by them.
The second issue is what made me feel a bit off upon finishing this book. I felt that there was a very specific image of what it means to be a successful black woman - a small business owner or a professional, University educated, sporty, a community leader, and a mother. As a lesbian and a ratbag artist, I felt increasingly distanced from this book. I know it's impossible to represent every experience of Aboriginal womanhood, no matter how large the book, but I came away from this book feeling, for lack of a better word, defective.
I want to reiterate: This book is so, so important. I'm absolutely certain it will help many tiddas out there. I'm just not one of them.

[WellRead]

A beautifully packaged hardback that shares the experiences of Indigenous women and girls, brought together by author and host of the Tiddas 4 Tiddas podcast Marlee Silva. The voices of First Nations' women that Marlee weaves through the book provide a rebuttal to the idea that 'you can't be what you can't see'. For non-Indigenous women, it demonstrates the diversity of what success can look like and offers insight into the lives of their Indigenous sisters and peers. Featuring colourful artwork by Goreng Goreng artist Rachael Sarra, this book is a celebration of the Indigenous female experience through truth-telling. Some stories are heart-warming, others shine a light on the terrible realities for many Australian Indigenous women, both in the past and today. But what they all share is the ability to inspire and empower, creating a sisterhood that all Australian women can be part of.

[Megan King · Rating 3 out of 5]

Loved the concept, however wish the stories were more in depth.

[Jade Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️

[Kt · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

My Tidda, My Sister is stories of strength and resilience from three generations of First Nation’s women. Focusing on triumph over adversity and rebutting the presumption that ‘you can’t be what you can’t see’, this book provides accounts of women who have achieved their goals by not taking no for an answer regardless of what the question is.

The accounts were all interesting, if not eye opening. I enjoyed hearing about the success of these Indigenous women; from those who survived some of the darkest and shameful parts of Australia’s history, to those who are presently taking their chosen industry by storm, to the generation of empowered girls that will keep advocating for change and won’t stop asking the hard questions.

I thought editor Marlee Silva was very clever in using a multigenerational approach to evidence that no matter what adversity is before you, dreams can come true; even if that means creating a path to make it happen rather that following the beaten track. I can certainly see how this would be inspirational, however; there was just something about the overall vibe of the book that distracted me from the contributors’ accounts.

This book is marketed as “Inspiration” and whilst it certainly is that on a superficial level, I just found that the contents of the accounts were all too neatly packaged, like a highlights reel that ended with ‘and they all lived happily ever after’. I felt that the hard work of the contributors seemed to be glossed over. There was far too little information on the hard yards, the setbacks, initial failures and about what drove these women to keep going day after day when most others would have given up. I appreciate that a book like this only has limited space, but less stories with more depth and grit would have made for a better read IMO.

If you want a feel good read of some inspirational First Nation’s women, then this is the book for you. However, if you like your inspirational stories with a bit more blood, sweat and tears and for them to focus more on the journey than the destination; then I’d still recommend this to you as long as you go into it knowing that it lacks depth and detail you’ll no doubt be expecting.

To play along with my book bingo and to see what else I’m reading, go to #ktbookbingo and @kt_elder on Instagram.

[Natalie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very positive and encouraging book. This gave me a lot of hope for the future of Australia, and especially for young Aboriginal women in Australia.

I wish that I, as a teenage girl, had experienced support from sisters and aunties who helped me believe in my dreams and my abilities. My teenage years were a time of achieving my best, and although my parents were pretty encouraging, I received little peer recognition and sometimes deliberate derision, like "don't get too big for your boots", or "you think you're so smart"... This book gave me hope that girls, especially Aboriginal girls, or girls from the less fancy part of town (like me), receive the encouragement they need to achieve their best and improve our world.

As a side note, although it is a beautiful book; well presented, and the sort of book that would be a pleasure to own and read over and over, I did find the print setting strange. I kept skipping the bits written big and bold and had to go back and read them when I realised what I'd done. Perhaps I'm the wrong generation for such a cool layout. I wish this book had existed when I was younger. Even though I'm not Aboriginal, I would have found it very inspiring, both to learn about the stories of Aboriginal women, but also to dream bigger.

I wish I knew the right girl to give this book to. It could be life-changing.

[Beth Fowler · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great read with a mix of stories from aboriginal women across Australia. Raising awareness and continuing to highlight issues.

My highlighted quotes:

- On days that are long and life feels like a whirl, it’s you, a cuppa and your laugh that I need.

- ‘Come watch this.’ He gestured at me to look into the mugs: they were both filled halfway with black coffee. His callused hands picked up the milk and poured an inch of it into one of the cups, turning its contents creamy brown. ‘Tell me what you’re looking at’. I shrugged but he urged me on. ‘They’re cups of coffee, right?’
‘Well, yeah, I guess so…’
‘No. No guessing. No doubt. They’re coffee. Both of them. It’s what they’ve always been and what they’ll always be. This one’ - he gestured to the lighter-coloured liquid - ‘is no less coffee than the other. It doesn’t matter how much milk you add: they’ll never not be coffee’.

- You matter and there’s more love for you than you could ever know.

- For that moment it all felt too much for me. There was the immensity of my own growth, and, accompanying that, the memories of everything I had gone through at that age. I felt the weight of all the times I hadn’t felt that good about who I was, and what that meant. Alongside that, though, was the immense pride I felt in hearing that the things you pour yourself into every day really are having an impact.

[Jayarna ✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm just going to copy paste my Instagram review onto here because I'm lazy:

The best nonfiction to start with if you're new to it, so easy to pick up and the art is also really lovely.

Marlee Silva writes with so much heart, love and talent. The book doesn't shy away from the hard topics, but leaves you coming away feel uplifted. This book made me feel so proud of being a woman and the circles of support that exist within our gender.

This book contains slices of life and stories of living as an Aboriginal, Torres Strait and/or South Sea Islander female. It is heartbreaking, joyous, celebratory, melancholy, and passionate.

I don't not want to go into any of the messages I read or things I learnt with this book. I am not Aboriginal, Torres Strait Islander or South Sea Islander and I do not feel my voice or opinion is relevant in these discussions. However I do implore you to read this yourself and broaden your own horizons.

Reading for me is about experiencing perspectives - whether they are like me or not - and this book did that for me tenfold. I will be picking up all of Marlee Silva's work from now on.

[Amy Margaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Tidda, My Sister by Marlee Silva continues my reading for National Reconciliation Week. This book is a collection of stories that celebrate the strength, resilience and successes of Australia's First Nations women. They are shared and bought together by Marlee Silva, founder and host of Tiddas4Tiddas, eho shares her own experiences of identity and belonging as well as her hope for the future.

One of my favourite reflections in this book was "... when it comes to building a better nation for all those that live in it, we need to understand each other better... we want the other ninety-seven percent of the population to feel pride in our culture and our stories too, to walk with us and pave a brighter future for the next generation."
Amazing.

This book is written for young strong Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women, but its an important read for all. A beautifully presented book with gorgeous artwork. Definitely recommend. ⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Amanda Watkin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. Silva has delivered a book that showcases the journey and strength of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women and their culture.

It was great to hear the stories of women past and present. I would recommend anyone living on Aboriginal land and the Torres Strait Islands read this book, if able. But don't stop here, this provides only a few aspects and view points of first nations people.

Rachael Sarra's artwork throughout this book makes it a joy to read and I would highly recommend reading it or viewing it, where possible.

In addition to telling her story and the stories of other first nations women, Silva provides a great resource list at the end of the book including things to watch and read and social media accounts to follow.

Thank you to Silva, Sarra and all the contributors for sharing their stories and educating me.

[Brooke Alice (brookes.bookstagram) · Rating 3 out of 5]

TW: racism, intergenerational trauma, violence, abuse, stolen generation.

I really enjoyed flicking through this book. The content may be heavy, but having it broken down into each individual's short story, focussing on their own experiences, their families experiences and how it's shaped their lives and used that adversity was empowering.

It really puts into perspective your own cultural bias, privilege, thoughts and behaviours. The book grasps at stories from multiple generations and perspectives, and I enjoyed travelling through these individual stories as a beautiful, yet harrowing collection.

I felt that I would have enjoyed it more if I had the opportunity to read each story in more detail, as I felt that each story only being a few pages, that I wasn't able to reach and connect deeply with each story.

[Kobi]

Accessible, educational and inspiring! I promised myself that this year I would venture more into works by Indigenous Australian writers, and I'm really glad I started here. This collection of stories about different Indigenous women really highlighted what it means to be Aboriginal in Australia as a woman. It touched on the sisterhood that is present between Indigenous communities and how us non-Indigenous Australians can learn a lot from the way they go through life's motions. This book highlights the strengths and resilience of these women (as the title suggests), and really puts an emphasis on how irrepressible and proud Aboriginal women can be. Would highly recommend this one to Australians, both non-Indigenous and Indigenous! There's so much to be taken away from this one :)

[Jessie Henry · Rating 4 out of 5]

“These stories are about the ultimate strength of sisterhood, community and resilience, about the importance of all of us seeing and celebrating each other’s triumphs.”

Marlee Silva founder of “Tiddas 4 Tiddas” the Instagram page and podcast has put together a beautiful collection of personal stories of strength and empowerment from Australia’s first women. Surrounded by artwork from Indigenous artist Rachael Sarra, ‘My Tidda, My Sister’ is a call to all women, not just Indigenous women, to celebrate one another, to support one another, a book full of admiration and hope. We are stronger together!