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När allting faller på plats
När Tommy Hellsten, som hjälpsökande femtonåring, plötsligt finner sig ensam kvar i pastorsexpeditionens skinnsoffa – kyrkoherden har bara rest sig och gått – börjar en lång resa.
Han vet inte då att det ska bli en femtio år lång resa, och att målet ändå var närmare än han trott. Att allt var en hemresa – till sig själv. Och till en glädje han inte ens vågat drömma om.
I sin nya bok 'När allting faller på plats' berättar Tommy Hellsten om sin egen resa till överlåtelse och tillit, och hur han lämnar bakom sig ett liv styrt av prestationstvång, en djup känsla av värdelöshet och utanförskap.
––––––––––––––
Tommy Hellsten är finlandssvensk terapeut, teolog och författare till flera böcker, bland dem Flodhästen i vardagsrummet och Ju mindre du gör desto mer får du gjort.
Han vet inte då att det ska bli en femtio år lång resa, och att målet ändå var närmare än han trott. Att allt var en hemresa – till sig själv. Och till en glädje han inte ens vågat drömma om.
I sin nya bok 'När allting faller på plats' berättar Tommy Hellsten om sin egen resa till överlåtelse och tillit, och hur han lämnar bakom sig ett liv styrt av prestationstvång, en djup känsla av värdelöshet och utanförskap.
––––––––––––––
Tommy Hellsten är finlandssvensk terapeut, teolog och författare till flera böcker, bland dem Flodhästen i vardagsrummet och Ju mindre du gör desto mer får du gjort.
176 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2016
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
December 16, 2023
I'm very tired and sad. Exhausted. The reason is mostly all the changes I've been going through, all the adapting I've had to make in the past year. The narrative has broken. By 33 I'm still not a father, but on top of that I've stepped 10 years back in time, living in 14 square meters, close to where I used to live back in the day when I was in my twenties. I've separated from the love of my life and I'm still thinking why, trying to find reasons in order not to repeat my mistakes as time is running out.
I got fired, formed a company, moved, travelled.
Life is not the same as it used to be. The scene has changed, my friends are getting passive, everybody seems to have settled down which is wonderful, yet scary from my point of view. Also I've realised that I've been doing the exact same thing too while not even realising it; disappeared from the party.
So there's two kinds of loneliness in my life now: a fast one, appearing on Fridays and Saturdays, with everybody in the cozy, warm glow of their homes, safe havens and me either listening to the silence of my walls or enjoying the deafening loudness of the complete strangers at the club. And then there's the slow one, looking to the future, with the silence growing even louder. Seeing it in the faces of so many people I see on the streets, in the libraries, in the window of the pub next to my apartment.
And I've coped with all the wrong ways, sex and drugs. Not excessively and they have brought a lot of comfort too, but the comfort has been short-lived while the traces of tiredness are long.
The transcendence touches me from a distance, shows its face in the warmth of the sauna after a good workout and the gentle hum after a cold shower. I read and I write and watch the trees and feel a deep spirituality rising in my chest, fighting the ego, giving me joy, grace, peace.
There's a lot of happiness, a lot of hope. But the adapting takes time, the turns are too tight and I can be very hard on myself. I burst into tears whenever I see kids, elephants, dogs. People ask me how I'm doing, I tell them everything is fine and then they say I look sad.
I'm 33 and it's not too late and I have nothing to lose but shame, anxiety and ego.
So during these times there's nothing I need more than to hear a soothing, wise voice of somebody who has gone through changes and survived. Done it with all the right tools. And Hellsten is one of those. I loved this book so much though it was extremely repetitive. I don't care about that at all, quite the opposite, it seems almost genius at times that these messages are being repeated so often. It's like visiting and old acquaintance. All of our problems are the same, all the solutions are the same. Something unexpected happens and we don't know how to adapt. And that's the whole point of life. The deeper the crisis, the more glorious the triumph. Every bit of sadness is a great visual for what we are supposed to do with our lives. Like with Hellsten: his tough upbringing has given him the deep meaning he has in his life. The wisdom that he has shared for all of us, forever to enjoy.
I'm still such a big fan of Jesus, forever have been. Though my spirituality is that of a non-deity I feel we are on the same boat, boasting forgiveness forever. Empathy for everyone.
What seems to be the hardest is to forgive yourself, to have empathy for yourself.
I'm jumping on a plane in a couple of days and I try to remember the classic piece of wisdom that everybody knows: put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.
Hellsten is an unfortunate last name for a mind that is clearly-heaven sent and light as a feather.
I'm making it. This helps a lot. Makes sense, gives me meaning.
And, like Bukowski said, what matters the most is how well you walk through the fire.
I got fired, formed a company, moved, travelled.
Life is not the same as it used to be. The scene has changed, my friends are getting passive, everybody seems to have settled down which is wonderful, yet scary from my point of view. Also I've realised that I've been doing the exact same thing too while not even realising it; disappeared from the party.
So there's two kinds of loneliness in my life now: a fast one, appearing on Fridays and Saturdays, with everybody in the cozy, warm glow of their homes, safe havens and me either listening to the silence of my walls or enjoying the deafening loudness of the complete strangers at the club. And then there's the slow one, looking to the future, with the silence growing even louder. Seeing it in the faces of so many people I see on the streets, in the libraries, in the window of the pub next to my apartment.
And I've coped with all the wrong ways, sex and drugs. Not excessively and they have brought a lot of comfort too, but the comfort has been short-lived while the traces of tiredness are long.
The transcendence touches me from a distance, shows its face in the warmth of the sauna after a good workout and the gentle hum after a cold shower. I read and I write and watch the trees and feel a deep spirituality rising in my chest, fighting the ego, giving me joy, grace, peace.
There's a lot of happiness, a lot of hope. But the adapting takes time, the turns are too tight and I can be very hard on myself. I burst into tears whenever I see kids, elephants, dogs. People ask me how I'm doing, I tell them everything is fine and then they say I look sad.
I'm 33 and it's not too late and I have nothing to lose but shame, anxiety and ego.
So during these times there's nothing I need more than to hear a soothing, wise voice of somebody who has gone through changes and survived. Done it with all the right tools. And Hellsten is one of those. I loved this book so much though it was extremely repetitive. I don't care about that at all, quite the opposite, it seems almost genius at times that these messages are being repeated so often. It's like visiting and old acquaintance. All of our problems are the same, all the solutions are the same. Something unexpected happens and we don't know how to adapt. And that's the whole point of life. The deeper the crisis, the more glorious the triumph. Every bit of sadness is a great visual for what we are supposed to do with our lives. Like with Hellsten: his tough upbringing has given him the deep meaning he has in his life. The wisdom that he has shared for all of us, forever to enjoy.
I'm still such a big fan of Jesus, forever have been. Though my spirituality is that of a non-deity I feel we are on the same boat, boasting forgiveness forever. Empathy for everyone.
What seems to be the hardest is to forgive yourself, to have empathy for yourself.
I'm jumping on a plane in a couple of days and I try to remember the classic piece of wisdom that everybody knows: put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.
Hellsten is an unfortunate last name for a mind that is clearly-heaven sent and light as a feather.
I'm making it. This helps a lot. Makes sense, gives me meaning.
And, like Bukowski said, what matters the most is how well you walk through the fire.
January 10, 2024
Ehdottomasti Tommy Hellstenin (tähän asti) paras kirja, jossa hän kunnolla tykittää niistä samoista, mutta tärkeistä asioista, joista hän muissa kirjoissaan on kirjoittanut ikään kuin valmistellen lukijaa tähän kirjaan. "Tähän olen tullut" -kirjassa kulminoituu kaikki se, mitä hänellä on sanottavaa. Jotta kirjasta saa edes jotain irti, lukijan täytyy ehdottomasti harjoittaa avointa mieltä päästäkseen irti omista ennakkokäsityksistään niistä aiheista, joita tässä käsitellään, ja mutustella tekstiä.
Muita arvosteluja en ole vielä katsonut, mutta veikkaan, että tämä kirja on kenties Hellstenin suurin "vedenjakaja". Vihaajia löytynee vähintään yhtä paljon kuin faneja. Itse olen ehdottomasti myönteisellä rannalla.
Muita arvosteluja en ole vielä katsonut, mutta veikkaan, että tämä kirja on kenties Hellstenin suurin "vedenjakaja". Vihaajia löytynee vähintään yhtä paljon kuin faneja. Itse olen ehdottomasti myönteisellä rannalla.
June 7, 2018
En ole aiemmin tutustunut Hellsteniin muuten kuin nimenä joka putkahtaa esiin siellä täällä. Tässä kirjasta kohtasin syvällisen ajattelijan, joka pyrkii aidosti kohti totuutta, mutta ennen kaikkea kristinuskon perinteisiin tiukasti kiinnittävän mystikon. Mielenkiintoista oli huomata, että vaikka monista hänen johtopäätöksistään ja tavoistaan sanoittaa ajatukset olen eri mieltä, niiden takana on — uskallan väittää — kaikille yhteinen (joskaan ei välttämättä yliluonnollinen tai uskonnollinen) todellisuus.
Kirja herätti ajattelemaan, joten lukeminen kannatti.
Kirja herätti ajattelemaan, joten lukeminen kannatti.
February 18, 2020
Tosi hyvä, mutta todella palkon hengellisyyttä korostava.
March 3, 2020
Ihan mielenkiintoista luettavaa, mutta ehkä sitten omaan makuun liikaa kristillisyyttä. Odotin kirjan olevan vähän yleismaailmallisempi. Jotain ihan kiinnostavia ajatuksia kuitenkin.
August 9, 2020
Pidin tästä. Herätteli ajatuksia mm. uskosta, kärsimyksestä, rakkaudesta, Jumalasta.
August 16, 2024
Jättefin bok, man får många fina insikter. Men upplever den väldigt långrandig och många sekvenser som upprepas.
October 10, 2016
Jo toinen lyhyen ajan sisällä lukemani uskonnollisen vakaumuksen omaavan terapeutin kirjoittama kirja vain vahvisti käsitystäni etten itselleni moista terapeuttia valitsisi.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews