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224 pages, Paperback
First published June 11, 2020
...I would say to myself, I was only young; I was doing my duty; I look after my children, I love my wife and I pay my taxes, how can I be an evil man? And yet, we are not talking about some youthful indiscretion... And how I've actually lived is that I haven't rationalised my way to innocence... I wear a mark of shame. Over the years I've realised that, instead of trying to wash it clean, I just have to carry on wearing it... No matter what anyone says, it was me who held the rifle, and it always will be... I was never close to being one of the era's few heroes, but neither was I one of its butchers or sadists.