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Hearticulations: On Love, Friendship & Healing: On Love, Friendship & Healing
In his fourth book of well-loved quotes, Jeff Brown delivers his most compelling message the power of love, friendship, and healing. In his notoriously candid style, Jeff dazzles us with poignant, intimate, and insightful heartspeak. His wisdom and word wizardry encompass all forms of romantic partnerships, soul-friendships, family bonds, and our connection to the greater world. He also addresses the often gritty yet essential work of healing our wounds. We struggle in relationship, and we also heal in relationship. At a time when our world is fractured by polarized views, Hearticulations reminds us of the golden threads that bind us together our shared vulnerable humanity and that there is more that connects us than divides us. This will be a book to carry around with you, or pass on to a dear friend. Like a pocket-sized oracle, turn to a random page and be uplifted by this lexicon of love.
200 pages, Paperback
Published September 29, 2020
89 people are currently reading
744 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
August 18, 2021
This year I've added to my morning reading books to help cope with divorce and depression. This particular book was recommended by a friend. She posted various excerpts on Facebook and I thought it would be helpful. It works well for that purpose--shortly daily insights on how to heal emotionally.
January 10, 2022
As a therapist, I really appreciated these short but profound reflections on the ways we move through life. Jeff Brown resists some of the old adages about how to best transition through the challenges and adversities we all face. His concise and wise 'hearticluations' are well worth our attention. I highly recommend.
January 27, 2021
So many passages were relevant to things happening in my life right now. I’ve made many notations and highlights in this book, so that I can go back and read what really spoke to me as needed.
April 11, 2022
Eh. The author contradicted himself, said some things that he dismissed others for saying, and the tone of the book just seemed…angry to me. Something about it just turned me off.
November 9, 2025
This book explores the idea that we can only truly love or connect with others as deeply as we connect with ourselves first.
Jeff takes us on a gentle yet powerful journey through emotional awareness, healthy boundaries, healing old wounds, and approaching love from a mature, grounded place, not one of struggle or proof.
Simple in language but profound in impact, it opens a space to reflect on how to love yourself fully and choose relationships that are healthy, balanced, and life-affirming.
_______________________
// Quotes 📖
We can’t meet someone where they haven’t met themselves. We may want to, but wanting doesn’t make it so. Everyone’s on their own unique journey. You can’t push them to catch up with you. It just doesn’t work like that. If they try, something will get broken or lost along the way. And they will actually end up further away from you than before. Better to honor their steps, just like you want others to honor yours. If you can’t meet at the same place, bow to them and walk on. Do not guilt or shame them for being where they are. Respect it. It’s their path to walk.
__________________________
When people tell you that you are being judgmental, they are judging you. And they usually tell you that when they don’t like your opinion. When they like your opinion, they call it “wisdom” and “common sense."” Funny how that works.
_____________________
I don’t know of too many love connections that got anywhere good when one had to ‘fight’ for the other. If you are fighting for love, lay down your arms and surrender. Because love meets us halfway, or nowhere at all. They will come if they wish, when they wish. And you will decide then how you feel about them. In the meantime, love yourself in every way possible.
_____________________
Because we can only connect with another to the depths that we connect with ourselves. If we are a step back from our own hearts, we will always be a step back from everyone else’s, too.
___________________________
Just because you can feel where someone is coming from, doesn’t mean that you have to put your emotional health at risk. When we allow ‘empathy’ to keep us invested in that which brings us suffering, when we confuse it with a boundaryless way of being, it morphs into misplaced faith and self-sabotage. It becomes compassion run amok.
__________________________
You don’t measure love in time. You measure love in transformation. Sometimes, the longest connections yield very little growth, while the briefest of encounters change everything. The heart doesn’t wear a watch—it’s timeless. It doesn’t care how long you know someone. It doesn’t care if you had a 40-year anniversary if there is no juice in the connection. What the heart cares about is resonance. Resonance that opens it, resonance that enlivens it, resonance that calls it home. And when it finds it, the transformation begins.
_________________
Through a healthier lens, loved children can often see their parent(s) more clearly
________________________
the more deeply we can work through the material around the relationship, the less likely it is that we will beat ourselves up after the difficult parent is gone. The more likely we will be able to grieve our loss healthily, without obstructing our own process. And, in this way, we break the cycle of shame and abuse that has carried forward from one generation to the next. We set the stage for a new way of being. We heal humanity forward. And perhaps we heal it backward, as well. With every clearing of our emotional debris, with every foray into a kinder way of being, we heal the collective heart. So many of our familial and karmic ancestors had little opportunity to heal their pains. They just towed them along, not realizing that there was any other way. When we heal, their spirits surely breathe a sigh of relief. We heal them backwards while healing ourselves forward. Mending the ancestral ties of time. We heal in unison. That healing begins in the trenches of our own transformation.
____________________
If they don’t, we turn them away. In other words, self-validators enter, lite-dimmers exit. Not from a place of contempt but from a place of burgeoning self-love. We already have enough internalized voices telling us that we don’t have value. We don’t need any more. If they don’t help you grow, then let them go. Who you surround yourself with really matters. Of course, we can get all the validation we want, even if it comes from someone credible, but it won’t be enough. We still have to take proactive steps to confirm our value.
__________________
Do you want to live a self-empowered life? Heal your heart. That’s the best affirmation of all.
🌿🍂
Jeff takes us on a gentle yet powerful journey through emotional awareness, healthy boundaries, healing old wounds, and approaching love from a mature, grounded place, not one of struggle or proof.
Simple in language but profound in impact, it opens a space to reflect on how to love yourself fully and choose relationships that are healthy, balanced, and life-affirming.
_______________________
// Quotes 📖
We can’t meet someone where they haven’t met themselves. We may want to, but wanting doesn’t make it so. Everyone’s on their own unique journey. You can’t push them to catch up with you. It just doesn’t work like that. If they try, something will get broken or lost along the way. And they will actually end up further away from you than before. Better to honor their steps, just like you want others to honor yours. If you can’t meet at the same place, bow to them and walk on. Do not guilt or shame them for being where they are. Respect it. It’s their path to walk.
__________________________
When people tell you that you are being judgmental, they are judging you. And they usually tell you that when they don’t like your opinion. When they like your opinion, they call it “wisdom” and “common sense."” Funny how that works.
_____________________
I don’t know of too many love connections that got anywhere good when one had to ‘fight’ for the other. If you are fighting for love, lay down your arms and surrender. Because love meets us halfway, or nowhere at all. They will come if they wish, when they wish. And you will decide then how you feel about them. In the meantime, love yourself in every way possible.
_____________________
Because we can only connect with another to the depths that we connect with ourselves. If we are a step back from our own hearts, we will always be a step back from everyone else’s, too.
___________________________
Just because you can feel where someone is coming from, doesn’t mean that you have to put your emotional health at risk. When we allow ‘empathy’ to keep us invested in that which brings us suffering, when we confuse it with a boundaryless way of being, it morphs into misplaced faith and self-sabotage. It becomes compassion run amok.
__________________________
You don’t measure love in time. You measure love in transformation. Sometimes, the longest connections yield very little growth, while the briefest of encounters change everything. The heart doesn’t wear a watch—it’s timeless. It doesn’t care how long you know someone. It doesn’t care if you had a 40-year anniversary if there is no juice in the connection. What the heart cares about is resonance. Resonance that opens it, resonance that enlivens it, resonance that calls it home. And when it finds it, the transformation begins.
_________________
Through a healthier lens, loved children can often see their parent(s) more clearly
________________________
the more deeply we can work through the material around the relationship, the less likely it is that we will beat ourselves up after the difficult parent is gone. The more likely we will be able to grieve our loss healthily, without obstructing our own process. And, in this way, we break the cycle of shame and abuse that has carried forward from one generation to the next. We set the stage for a new way of being. We heal humanity forward. And perhaps we heal it backward, as well. With every clearing of our emotional debris, with every foray into a kinder way of being, we heal the collective heart. So many of our familial and karmic ancestors had little opportunity to heal their pains. They just towed them along, not realizing that there was any other way. When we heal, their spirits surely breathe a sigh of relief. We heal them backwards while healing ourselves forward. Mending the ancestral ties of time. We heal in unison. That healing begins in the trenches of our own transformation.
____________________
If they don’t, we turn them away. In other words, self-validators enter, lite-dimmers exit. Not from a place of contempt but from a place of burgeoning self-love. We already have enough internalized voices telling us that we don’t have value. We don’t need any more. If they don’t help you grow, then let them go. Who you surround yourself with really matters. Of course, we can get all the validation we want, even if it comes from someone credible, but it won’t be enough. We still have to take proactive steps to confirm our value.
__________________
Do you want to live a self-empowered life? Heal your heart. That’s the best affirmation of all.
🌿🍂
March 8, 2022
I like it, different way to approach things.
February 5, 2022
I honestly don't remember how I found this book, but I was exalted to discover it was included in the Audible subscription in a 2h 56m audio version. There are not many details given for this edition on Audible, so I haven't added that audio edition yet on Goodreads. I enjoyed the narrator's voice (which coincidentally is also the author!) and I strongly recommend it in audio format for maximum effect.
Firstly, I don't think I could give this book enough praise on how much it has actually helped me process things. It was not what I was expecting it to be, I really thought it was going to be something cheesy, slushy, zen and/or superficial. I gave it an honest shot because it was just a 3h long audiobook. I didn't expect it to actually help me. Needless to say I was dead wrong. I cried several times while listening to it (mostly during random activities like cleaning my place or doing the dishes) because of how objective, logical, accurate, simple and straight forward the author has articulated things in it, from a place of similariry, from a familiar journey. If you've gone through any type of emotional trauma with an important peer and/or are suffering from low self esteem or struggling to love yourself properly and don't know why that all is happening or where to start the reason thread within yourself, I think his words and experience would help a lot to kickstart you on the right path. I know it did for me, or at the very least it organized my path in a clearer way. I wish I could thank him personally for this wonderful piece of work, as well as for his narration.
Secondly, I am definitely going to listen to this again in the near future. His words really need to sink in. I'd like to say that I or we need more books like this, but the fact is, I don't think we do - we just need to start applying the things we learn. That's all from my side. Happy reading.
Firstly, I don't think I could give this book enough praise on how much it has actually helped me process things. It was not what I was expecting it to be, I really thought it was going to be something cheesy, slushy, zen and/or superficial. I gave it an honest shot because it was just a 3h long audiobook. I didn't expect it to actually help me. Needless to say I was dead wrong. I cried several times while listening to it (mostly during random activities like cleaning my place or doing the dishes) because of how objective, logical, accurate, simple and straight forward the author has articulated things in it, from a place of similariry, from a familiar journey. If you've gone through any type of emotional trauma with an important peer and/or are suffering from low self esteem or struggling to love yourself properly and don't know why that all is happening or where to start the reason thread within yourself, I think his words and experience would help a lot to kickstart you on the right path. I know it did for me, or at the very least it organized my path in a clearer way. I wish I could thank him personally for this wonderful piece of work, as well as for his narration.
Secondly, I am definitely going to listen to this again in the near future. His words really need to sink in. I'd like to say that I or we need more books like this, but the fact is, I don't think we do - we just need to start applying the things we learn. That's all from my side. Happy reading.
January 25, 2022
heartfelt and comforting. i particularly appreciated the pages that focused on toxic positivity, and the importance of advocating for yourself re: trauma - forgiveness isn’t always an option and that’s okay, don’t apologize for your emotions, not everything is a ‘gift’, and self-expression is vital
February 14, 2022
A lovely book. Good for some to serve as a daily reminder what’s important in life. Would recommended it but I personally would not re read it again.
October 23, 2022
This is a must read book that provides some deep insights into the nature of the heart, relationships, healing from trauma and so much more. Reading this book helped me on my path to self love and provided me with insights to help me heal and work through some of my deeper baggage. This is a book that anyone would benefit from.
April 14, 2025
This is a beautiful pint-sized book to gift yourself and is a great, timely prompt to remember the importance of things like boundaries, truly feeling your emotions, self love, acknowledging grief. Jeff Brown's reflections are short but profound and greatly assist on some of the darker days. Heal your wounds, but remember to process your struggles first.
July 20, 2021
This book is very enlightening. You will think about your experiences in life and how to deal with it. Now I need to have a conscious effort to give my forgiveness and asked for forgiveness. It’s a freedom from guilt.
May 22, 2022
Wow what a book! I don’t mean to be sexist, but it is amazing to heart such deep insight from a man. I listened to the audio book and rewound it so many times I ended up buying the paperback to read again and take notes in.
July 2, 2021
Read this afternoon in one sitting. I wish I could memorize the entire thing. Full of wisdom!
October 2, 2021
I liked a lot of the ideas put forth. The profanity was a turn-off to me.
November 18, 2021
I give this book 10 stars. The best book on abuse recovery I have ever read.
December 5, 2021
Had to read a couple times with all the information jeff brown includes. Great book for a greater understanding of human interactions.
December 14, 2021
Personal and insightful; something that one can pick up and learn wherever you open thepbook
March 14, 2022
Not really a fan.
July 30, 2022
Audio and ebook - I listened to the author while following in the ebook, which was quite enjoyable. There were some definite "take aways" here, but other segments just didn't speak to me.
September 16, 2022
This was an interesting read. I found many insights that resonated with me and wish to reflect on them and take the time to reflect on them in a personal journal.
November 29, 2022
These quick "Hearticulations" on love, friendship and healing were just what I needed. Read this entirely in 24 hours. Look forward to picking it back up again in a few months.
January 17, 2023
Very good. Solid arguments, hopeful message
March 27, 2023
This one is worth rereading, giving to others, and gets right to the source.
didnt-finish
June 16, 2023Just not my cup of tea
January 10, 2024
Spot on.
Currently searching for more by this author
Currently searching for more by this author
February 4, 2025
Like the author said yet times you cant move out of bed due to trauma. Absolutely true. Experienced the same for years. My upper body was almost paralyzed and it took me an year to walk. And the author did some extra ordinary work in this book.
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews