✰ 4 stars ✰
“I could feel him rest his head in the crook of my neck as we both surrendered to each other for a moment. “You’re crazy,” I whispered to him.
I felt him chuckle. “That’s one word for it,” he replied tiredly.
I pulled back and looked into his eyes. “What’s another?”
His eyes were watering too, as we stared directly into each other’s souls for a brief second. “Love?”
I'm glad I read Tales from Foster High, which is the compilation of John Goode's first three books in his Tales from Foster High series - Maybe With a Chance of Certainty, End of the Beginning, and Raise Your Glass. It gave me the chance to experience Kyle and Brad's story in one cohesive form, one that is unapologetically raw and real, but nonetheless, beautiful and true. It's your typical scenario - quiet, reserved nerd who ends up tutoring the school's handsome popular baseball star and end up with more than just a history lesson. A lesson of feelings and understanding and a connection that there is someone else out there - someone who you can be yourself with. And that's the start of Kyle and Brad's relationship at the very reserved Foster High - where being gay is considered the worst sin of all in Somewhere New, Texas.
“He held my hand for a second too long as he said nothing and then slowly nodded. “Okay, Kyle. Cool.”
He let go, but I could still feel the warmth of where his skin had touched mine. “So after five?”
The first part of the story is told entirely from Kyle Stilleno's point of view - I LOVED Kyle. He had spent his whole life minding his manners, staying away from the crowd, keeping to himself, knowing that he's gay and knowing that he can crush on others from afar, but never act upon it. But, that all changes when Brad Greymark, star jock, lord and savior of the local high school - a flawless-looking, well-built teenage boy who never failed to turn people’s heads, but a teenage boy nonetheless.' asks him to help with his studies. But, then as they exchange thoughts and views and bond something just clicks, and suddenly it's this unraveling of feelings and emotions and just this intensity of just having someone in your corner - someone who also knows how you feel - 'maybe it was because it was easier to focus on someone else’s pain than my own. Maybe it was because when he hurt, I felt an ache in my own chest.' ❤️🩹❤️🩹
But, there is something deeper that they share - the hurt of a family life and a haunting past that makes them even more drawn towards each other. The dialogue and interactions felt alive - like I was witnessing the start to an actual high-school couple, as they tried to figure out how to make their relationship work - especially when being gay is so severely frowned upon at their school - something that is considered the root of evil and prime target of ridicule. But, Kyle is so unapologetic - so perseverant - he just was so vocal and passionate and unfiltered without restraint, as if a dam of pent-up anger and resolve was unleashed and the flood of emotions barreled through, and I just felt it and lived it with him and with Brad.
“Why did being gay matter? How was I different? Nothing had changed, and yet everything had changed.”
The second part focuses on Brad's thoughts and the slow and steady way in which he comes to terms with his new shift in shedding this masculine shell of a life he had been adhering to for so long, while also learning about his past in which he came to realize that maybe he was more attracted to boys than girls. There is some anger, some latent fear and misunderstanding shared between the two - as he tries to cope with the sudden shift from king to outcast in his social status. But, there is also growth - a calm gentle understanding of reflection as he looks back at how he ended up here, how he shied away from expressing himself, only to know that Kyle was the one he wanted to share that part of himself with. Not so much an experiment, but an acceptance that he is the one who he could see a potential future with. 💜💜 I teared up at the 81 cents scene; they were trying. They were trying to make it work, and he was trying to cope with the changes to his life and his popularity dip. 🥹🥹🥹 And he was so kind to Kyle - considerate and understanding, even though, it was shitty of him to make a move on him while he had a girlfriend, it's the moments after that, when everything falls apart, that he fights so hard to show Kyle that he's not going to abandon him or walk away from him. That being with him is the realest he's ever felt and it's those tender and even funny moments, at times, that I really enjoyed. 🤍🤍
Apart from that, I liked getting to know him a bit better - there is a deep-rooted desire to live up to his father's expectations, and also something more that really hurt me. There was this earlier scene between the two - that proved to the two of them that it was not only their want for each other that they shared - it was their own form of family trauma that they related to - and that scene was heart-breaking. The author has this innate style of writing that does not hold back the punches to show how caustic and cruel and harsh, the judgment of people can be.'Look, Kyle, this is going to suck pretty badly, and I can’t imagine it’s going to get better anytime soon. So let’s make a promise. No matter what happens, we don’t take it out on each other. It’s going to be us against everybody else; the last thing we need is to turn on each other, okay?' 😢😢 And while it was painful to read - I believed it and I raged, and I hurt for them. Life is too short to be unfairly unkind to others - it just isn't worth the effort or the time, yet people are still hell-bent on being absolutely horrid.
“Listen,” I said with as much honesty as I could put into my words. “I didn’t have a life before you. All of that was… was just a waste of time.”
I put my hand over his heart. “This, this is the first real thing I have ever felt. You didn’t ruin my life, dummy.” I smiled at him as my own eyes began to mist up. “You saved my life.”
🥹🥹🥹
The final part alternates between both their perspectives and it's really the point where the story delves into the meaty and gritty reaction of their classmates and the administration. It is unflinchingly harsh and unfair and down-right prejudiced at how prevalent and rabid the homophobic sentiments were. But, in the face of that defamation, so is the strength of their unwavering resilience and determination to make it through. Once again, the author does a great balance for their thoughts and emotions, esp. when the severity of their 'coming out' becomes even more of a target. 😟 But, even as the fight to be accepted worsens, their love for each other becomes even stronger. And the author did not shy away or hold back on the steam either! Their physical displays of affection were just 🤌🏻🤌🏻 - so well-placed throughout the narrative that I soaked in happiness in each of their stolen kisses and touches.
“You’re going to be the death of me,” he said, smiling up at me. Looking into those deep blue eyes, I swore I didn’t care what anyone thought anymore.
“Death by kissing,” I said, cupping his ass through the thin material of his boxers. “I can think of worse fates.”
The two of them are not in any way shy of showing just how much they want each other - that fierce desire to have each other - not afraid to get their hands on each other - even though they have to hide it. And it never felt forced - they really just wanted to be with each other and spend time together, because it's that feeling of new love that deepened their bond. ❤️🔥❤️🔥 Brad's reaction to seeing just how adventurous Kyle could be - so passionate and willing - was so sweet, and that night when he came to see him - not allowing him to hide his body - to silently worship how much he liked it - craved it. 🫠🫠
“But in a world where no one thinks they are the bad guy and everyone plays the victim, it is harder and harder to find the black and the white of a situation. We are all the hero, and we are all the monster.
It just depends on which way you look at it.”
The writing was great - very strong, very impactful, very engaging, very good. The dialogue is fresh and refreshing - yes, it can be both. It just appealed to my senses, and even if the two of them were so very different from each other, but I just really liked how natural they were with each other. 👌🏻👌🏻 It was not an insta-fix or a quick act upon lust, they talk - they actually communicate, and they don't shy away from expressing how they feel at the moment, while still behaving like real teenagers. I don't know if I'm making any sense, but that was the charm of the writing; like water, it flowed. Like a rollercoaster of emotions, a whirlwind of feelings, it was solid. It showed how prejudice and stereotypes don't have to be the norm, and it is okay to break free of what others expect you to behave and act as. It was, actually the first time, I wanted to do away with my own self-imposed rule of reading books in a series and jump right into the next one. But, my heart wouldn't allow it, so the wait was worth it, because gosh, the second book.... 😢💘
And while I have kept the mention of Kelly, Brad's former best friend and worst of the worst prejudiced bully to Kyle, limited here, he does play an integral key role to their dynamic, as well as a major player in the next book... 💔💔 So, does Brad's ex-girlfriend, for that matter, but in a positive light, I was not expecting. I do admit, I did find that the ending became a tad too political for my liking, but as I have read the next installment already - I understand why it was that way. It's setting the stage that the fight of acceptance is far from over for either of them, despite the few small victories they were able to achieve. For in the end, this is just the start of their fight to be acknowledged and accepted - to shed away the hostility they have to face and believe in the power that a love like theirs can get the fairy-tale happy ending that they deserve. 🩵 🩵