Melania and Me

by Stephanie Winston Wolkoff

The former director of special events at Vogue and producer of nine legendary Met Galas, Stephanie Winston Wolkoff met Melania Knauss in 2003 and had a front row seat to the transformation of Donald Trump’s then girlfriend from a rough-cut gem to a precious diamond. As their friendship deepenedr, Wolkoff watched the newest Mrs. Trump raise her son, Barron, and manage her highly scrutinized marriage.

After Trump won the 2016 election, Wolkoff was recruited to help produce the 58th Presidential Inaugu­ration. Melania put Wolkoff in charge of hiring her staff, organizing her events, helping her write speeches, and creating her debut initiatives. Then it all fell apart when she was made the scapegoat for inauguration finance irregularities. Melania could have defended her innocent friend and confidant, but she stood by her man, knowing full well, the author says, who was really to blame. The betrayal nearly destroyed Wolkoff.

Genres: Nonfiction, Politics, Memoir, Biography, Audiobook, History, Biography Memoir

351 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 1, 2020

Reviews

[Lois · Rating 1 out of 5]

This could best be described as Stephanie likes to whine.
First about Ivanka and her staff as well as the media at large being 'unfair' to bobble-head Melania.
Then about bobble-head Melania's supposed betrayal of the author.
It's messy, messy.

The author's hypocrisy is laughable.

One of the opening anecdotes of the book is about the author and Melania laughing at lunch over chumps 'grab 'em by the pussy' statement.

Yet when Melania is outed as a former sex worker the author is suddenly extremely upset about slut shaming, mansplaining and sexism.

The author literally ONLY cares about issues that personally impact her life.
She never once mentions the rabid racism displayed by chump and Melania herself.
Folks seem to forget that Melania touted that same racist birther bullshit as her fascist husband.

The author makes strategic use of coded racist language in relation to Black employees of the Obama Administration and White House. She tries to obfuscate this by omitting the race of the person being discussed but her coded speech makes her message crystal clear.

The author had never previously voted in a presidential election. She gives some nonsense playing on outdated sexist bimbo stereotyping to explain about not understanding the difference between candidates or party platforms.🙄
She never explicitly says why she did not want the first white woman president instead of a fascist racist assclown. She never once says she thinks chump is a better candidate, just that it's a great opportunity for Melania.
The author actually meant a great opportunity for herself.

The author’s step father is famous and well connected. She makes a huge big deal about earning her place but it's clear she traded on his connections. I don't give a shit that's how this works but I truly hate it when folks act like they worked for something their connections earned them.
Especially white folks. Just admit you have privilege rather than the obnoxious pretense.

The author worked for Anna Wintour for Vogue at the Met Gala which is how she met Melania.
I was surprised because Melania's style choices generally suck. Melania has no taste at all. Her decorations are Tim Burtonesque in stark creepiness without the cutesy charm or fun.
I refuse to believe the author controlled an event like the Met Gala AND did those scary ass Christmas decorations in 2017.

It's clear that the author wasn't more than a lunch date/society friend whom Melania considered an acquaintance at best but primarily an employee.
The author emphasizes that prior to the election Melania basically only contacted her to meet for lunch occasionally and to ask for favors. They sent birthday and Christmas cards and texts. That's pretty much it.
They were not friends outside of lunch and the favors only ever went one way.

Melania's bff is her sister, according to this author and it appears she only confides in family.
The author is the scheming social climber Meghan Markle is accused of being.
She took a relatively casual lunching relationship and tried to use her access to Melania to launch her career to the next level, get 15 minutes of fame or make herself relevant.

The author wasn't damn near killing herself working for free because of 'friendship' or her oft-stated desire to protect Melania. She characterizes Melania as distant, polite, removed and uncaring. The author weirdly labels her cold due to being raised in a communist country. At the same time the author describes her family as unusually close.

Melania simply wasn't her friend and viewed her as an employee. I think because the author went so above and beyond, in her own eyes, she thought it earned the title friend from Melania. I believe Melania rightly saw her as an employee, opportunist and social climber🤷🏾‍♀️
Lol, it's clear the author doesn't even really like Melania. She just likes to name drop famous people. She pretends she's close to Anna Wintour too.
No, she was trying to see how far she could ride this friendship to advance her social cachet and career.

I mean Melania is trash too. Let me be clear here.

The author’s repeated attempts to normalize Melania's behavior as First Lady, for example not moving into the White House post inauguration, is tiresome. This absolutely was out of the norm and as such newsworthy. Melania not having staff or participating in her duties as flotus was out of the norm and the media was actually quite easy on her.
As evidenced by the 'free Melania' rhetoric. Pretty white women are often excused from the horrors they participate in and benefit from. As such Melania has not been held to much of a standard at all.
The media has been warm and welcoming. Melania has no interest in politics and chump is so unusual a candidate she's able to get away with basically showing up and smiling. There's no there, there.
Her convention speech was plagiarized much like her Be Best campaign was, from a much more prepared and professional presidency, The Obama's.
If you consider that Melania's fumbling meant that White House tours couldn't be given for close to 60 days it's not media bias or bipartisan/liberal agenda to point out how often she fucked up protocol.
That the author plays into 'the chumps were given biased/bipartisan media coverage' nonsense is bullshit.
The Obama's scandals were Barack's tan suit and Michelle's sleeveless dress.
That doesn't compare to the fuck ups misuse of campaign funds, paying off of sex workers, profiting while in office, etc which is just a standard Tuesday in chumpland. Its not bias to call that out.

The author glories at her son being near this turd of a human with feel good stories about her families access to the fascist first family.
She cares way more about the optics of Finding Nemo being screened at the White House than kids in cages.

If this author had done even basic research into the procedures surrounding the change of administration she'd know that the Obama's and White House staff behavior was textbook standard.

The president elect is expected to both have a plan in place and staff ready to be deployed when they win. That's not up to the outgoing president and their administration to finesse.
That's for the elected president and party to have in place and execute.

That chump was unprepared is not a reflection on either the Obama's or the white house staff. That's a reflection on chump.
He was unprepared to be president. He doesn't really even understand his role or the established traditions, rules and laws surrounding it. This has been blatantly obvious since he was elected and noted abroad as well.
Chump is failing miserably, horribly and will go down in history as a disaster and fascist.
It is what it is.
It's not because of anyone but chump himself.

The author watches the chumps use up friends and then gleefully throw them to the wolves and STILL continues working with no official title or pay.
Not only work for free but to be actually giving cash to the chumps 😂🤣😭

This silly foolish racist was renting a room at trump tower or hotel. She was literally paying the people that she was working for free for.
I shit you not.

Also this author, and according to her Melania, detest Ivanka. The author referred to Ivanka throughout the book as 'princess'. Shit Melania's an ice queen so it fits I guess.
I hope Melania sues this 'friend' into oblivion.
I'm tired of chump stooges thinking they can write a tell-all and that excuses their support of an openly fascist president.
Nope.

I actuality laughed out loud when this blew up in the author's face and the inauguration misuse of funds was blamed on her.
Couldn't have happened to a more deserving person.

I love how shocked chump cronies are when they face actual consequences for their behavior.

The author closes the book by comparing her support for an openly fascist, antisemitic, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic and ableist president, political party and administration ('Melania's betrayal') to what her grandparents suffered during The Holocaust.

I'm not sure she could be a more garbage human if she actively tried.
The author gleefully worked for Hitler.
I hope she never recovers🤷🏾‍♀️
Also white Jewish folks are white first and Jewish second.
As evidenced by this Karen, Michael Cohen and Jared Kushner to name a mere few.

I love gossip and am glad I pirated this.
What a mess!

[Catherine Rubenstein · Rating 2 out of 5]

A shallow, vapid, sophomoric diary of the emoji-driven relationship between 2 vapid, shallow women - one of them being the wife of the American president. The other is a socialite who naively took the fall for the financial fraud surrounding the Trump inauguration. Nothing new here folks. Trump, fraud, manipulation, graft, lying, hurt feelings and tears. Yawn

[Suzanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

The difficulty with tell-all political books is that the authors, especially relatively unknown authors, spend a great amount of time justifying their own behavior and explaining themselves. Sadly, that is not why we or I choose these books. We want the specifics about the primary character. MELANIA AND ME fails because author Wolkoff writes primarily about her journey and travails. Melania Trump is a relative bystander in this book. I don’t know any more about Melania Trump after reading this book than I did when I started. It was just an average book about a very capable woman who has a nasty comeuppance while doing some work for the Trump Administration.

[Elyse Walters · Rating 3 out of 5]

“An emotional washing machine”.....for Stephanie.

“Fact is: you cannot change anybody.
No matter how much you try....
no matter how much you think you can make a positive difference...
no matter how much you wish…
You simply cannot change people”....says Stephanie Winston Wolkoff

It wasn’t until three years ‘after’ the inauguration.... that Stephanie became aware that she was made the scapegoat.

Paul liked listening to this friendship-loss-revenge-audiobook more than I did.......but I enjoyed his company.

Paul and I agreed — it’s about 3 stars. Not a horrible waste of time ( our discussions together were worth it)....but not earth shattering enlightening either.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

The material on the inauguration was unexpectedly entertaining—and her rage comes through very energetically—but honestly, how fucking stupid is this woman? She clearly liked Donny beforehand, referring to his “usual jovial self” at one point. She had no trouble voting for him. No doubt she still would if she hadn’t been stabbed in the back. And she breathtakingly compares what she went through to what her grandparents, honest-to-God Holocaust survivors, went through. There are some fun catty bits in here—she notes that Melania only spoke English to her stylist, a Frenchman, despite her claims to be fluent in French, and she’s satisfyingly nasty re Ivanka. But I can’t get over this woman’s cluelessness, including about her own privilege.

[Anna · Rating 2 out of 5]

The tea! The hot Goss! The betrayal! The life of the rich and famous! The overwhelming amount of privelege! The lack of self insight! The self pity! The emoji abuse! All this and more can be yours for the low low price of 28 US dollars. Or you could just pirate the e-book and skim over all the alternating self-aggrandezing to self-pitying parts, to what you are really here for: What is Melania really like behind her cold exterior? Exactly that. A cold woman who doesn't care about anything but herself, dressed in a veneer of ridiculous emoji abuse, that the author somehow found charming. I am still at a loss for how she could become seduced by her personality (really lack thereof) into giving up her life and career to work FOR FREE AND CONTRACTLESS as a simultaneous image consultant/press person/babysitter/homework-doer for Melanie, convinced that somehow, somewhere there was a good person in there, and if only everybody else could get a chance to see it... Except Melanie gets numerous chances to show her true colors, and she does, and the author still believes that it's everybody else's fault/sabotage that Melanie is percieved "wrong", as an empty headed trophy wife who only cares about her next facial. Gurrrlll. Take a hint. I think it must be the bias of survivorship: "Because /I/ survived growing up in a neighbourhood a tiny bit less prestigious than the rest of the New York elite, and didn't at all bank on my last name being Winston, because I'm only an adopted Winston, and I worked my way up from the bottom through my prestigious job at an auction house straight out of college, and worked /so hard/ at my job at Vogue afterwords, which I got on merit alone, not through a direct interview with Anna Wintour, whom I was recommended to due to my last name being Winston, no because I was SUCH a HARD WORKER and ALL AROUND SAINTLY PERSON who throws SO MANY CHARITY BALLS and I know THE STRUGGLE because my son has a LIFE THREATENING NUT ALLERGY and participates in GROUND BREAKING MEDICAL TRIALS AT WORLD CLASS HOSPITALS because of THAT, because I HAVE SUCCESS BY BEING A HARD WORKER and SUCH A GOOD PERSON, then everyone in my position MUST BE A HARD WORKER AND A GOOD PERSON and ergo Melania must be too! She came from an even poorer background than me! She came from (scare chord) COMMUNISM LAND where they teach little girls not to show emotion! That's why she doesn't show it! Not because she's a vacuous semi-sociopath!" *surprised Pikachu-face* when Melania throws her under the bus at the first convenient moment. At least the author seems to gain some insight into how she was played, but very little at the end. It's all about her ~personal betrayal~ and how ~I thought we were friends~ not about how the author herself sold out the poor and disenfranchised, the immigrants, the sexually abused to a literal FASCIST REGIME just so she could have her own days of feeling important in the White House (no sorry, checks notes 'could change children's futures' and 'do her patriotic duty!!!1one!').

Theres a scene in the last third of the book, and one of the turning points where the author starts to become disenchanted with Melania. Melania is touring the Holocaust Museum as the First Lady, and gets a personal tour by the museum director. The other guests, including the author walk behind and are not included in the presentation/photo op.

The author's family apparently was affected deeply by the Holocaust, and she feels affected by the museum, and hurt in not feeling included by Melania. She expresses her sadness to Melania on the limo ride back, who then shoots her a faux sympathetic look, and goes back to Instagramming. Meanwhile THE AUTHOR CONTINUES TO SUPPORT FASCISTS OUR MODERN DAY HITLER.

Pirate the book. Eat the rich.

2 stars (when u don't pay for it) for its potential as a mobilisation tool, and the hilarious emoji abuse.

But seriously, do not give this woman any more money, pls.

[TrashyT · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent!

I can't adequately express my disgust for how Stephanie Wolkoff was used by the Trumps and tossed to the wolves. And, silly me, I always thought Maggie Haberman was a good reporter who actually got to the facts of a story. No apologies from her or the NYT for the hatchet job done to the author.

[Rebecca Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not totally sure where to start with this one, beyond saying if you can find excerpts from various articles about the book you may be better off sticking with those, unless you are, in fact, very interested in the details of communication between the author and various other members of the PIC/its subcontractors in day by day blurbs leading up to the inauguration. (And that's great if you are!)
I picked this up because I read an article about it that contained an excerpt (which turned out to be a series of excerpts from very different parts of the book) and I was immediately interested so I pre-ordered and started it as soon as it released to my Kindle on the 1st.
I know I'm not alone in my general curiosity about the current FLOTUS. There is certainly this kind of wall of secrecy and mystery around her, which is partially explained by this book; and there's also the general media spin about that secrecy and mystery around her, even though when I think about it I sure don't remember knowing much/hearing much about Barbara Bush, for example; but most importantly I think there's a general huge question mark around the kind of person who can be married to Donald Trump and stay married for as long as she has.
In terms of satiating my curiosity, this book was very satisfying. Without being too biographical it provides some history and context regarding Melania as a person, paints a picture of what she was like as a friend, and drives home the kind of critical aspect that ties together and succinctly answers pretty much every question you could have about her: she doesn't care.
I've heard some people's takeaways of this book are that Melania is ultimately unknowable, and I couldn't disagree more. The one major positive I'm taking away is that the combination of emails/texts/and personal accounts the the author provides are very consistent and paint a very, very clear picture of who Melania is, what she's like, and what her ultimate goals and motivations are. They aren't surprising. Melania enjoys the life she lives, is entirely unbothered by and uninterested in other people's opinions, benefits from the world her husband creates, sees her ultimate job as supporting him, and prefers not to do anything she doesn't want to do.
In some ways I do admire her for that, and for her clear confidence and ability to say, "Nope," to anything she's not down for.
In many other ways I know what I already knew before reading this book, which is that Melania is not a damsel in distress in need of saving and she is also not the savior who has the power/desire to fix or stop some of her husband's general Donaldness.
Honestly if I'd been writing this review after the first half I'd have given it a much higher rating because, aside from some very bitter lines thrown in here and there to try to help readers remember that the author and Melania are no longer friends and that the author entirely blames Melania for that, it's an addicting tale about the close friendship of two women, one who happens to be at the top of the country right now and who does not have many close friends who can speak about her.
The story started to lose me when Stephanie got into her account of what happened leading up to the inauguration. For me this was a huge part of where the book started to lose its focus. I understand why all of what was recounted showed up-- this book was, ultimately, Stephanie's chance to clear her own name. It was her opportunity to tell her side of things, after having been dragged around in the press and having been silenced due to any variety of NDAs. That's all fine and good, except up until that point it feels like a story about Melania and her friend, and from then on its a defense article.
The weird thing about the second half, once the election happened, was the constant shifts in tone and focus. The author comes off as obsessed with Ivanka and Ivanka's efforts to silence Melania from the public. She is clearly, in her own narration, obsessed with the concept of Melania as FLOTUS and the potential initiatives that Melania could be responsible for. She recounts the loss of her sanity and health as she works tirelessly for Melania against the staff she believes are ultimately answering to Ivanka and as she works to create Melania's initiative as FLOTUS. The problem is, the way the story is told, the conversations that are recounted, everything we actually get from Melania makes it clear that Melania, in true Melania form, really did not care about these things.
The person that cared about these things was Stephanie. The author was the one who so badly wanted Melania to have a certain kind of presence in the public eye, she was the one who was passionate about the children's well-being initiative, she was the one who wanted Melania to have a certain legacy. And like there's nothing necessarily wrong with that; I think it's natural to want your friend to shine. It's natural to think you can make a difference using a major platform, and natural to want to be involved in that. The issue is that she puts all the pain and stress and mental and physical damage she suffered onto Melania.
She makes it Melania's responsibility that she broke her literal back for her, when it's clear Melania would have been happy for her not to do any of these things because Melania never cared about her own press image or expanding her platform beyond the cyberbullying cause she initially and continually mentioned she cared about. It made me really uncomfortable to read Stephanie's constant prose about the emotional and mental and physical pain she was experiencing and to hear her keep crying "but it was FOR MELANIA" when it could not have been more obvious that no, it was for Stephanie.
I am not saying that the author is wrong in feeling betrayed by Melania's decision not to clear her name when she was made the scapegoat for the mess that was the PIC funding debacle-- that was cold and awful and yes, they should no longer be friends. That is a legitimate hurt and a legitimate trauma.
But the themes of the book that arose very quickly and continued were (1) that Stephanie was upset that she was getting no credit for the work she was doing. She was consistently in both her narrative and the provided texts and emails, asking for credit and getting upset when her name was left out. She was also (2) driven by her own agenda and her own desires and needs and continually masking that as being for Melania's sake, which starts to rub you the wrong way early on and by the end just make me roll my eyes a lot.
The other major issue is that Stephanie herself can't seem to figure out how she feels about Melania and when things started to fall apart. The book oscillates very confusingly between her singing Melania's praises and declaring her love and devotion to Melania and then throwing in some very bitter and nasty lines here and there to express that don't worry, she no longer thinks these things or feels this way. It's just that there's no consistency to how the two things were thrown in and used, and it created a lot of whiplash like one second, "Because I LOVED HER SO MUCH" and then "she's just an empty shell" and it's like whoah what's going on here. (Like obviously what is going on is a friend processing her feelings about a lost friendship but the crafting of it could have been... so much clearer and smoother).
The other thing that really got my goat, as it were, were the narrative bits that would say things like "I could tell there was distance between us" or "a wall went up and that was clear in our communication" but then a new section, during the exact same time period, would start out with, "Communication carried on as normal between us, and the texts and emails kept coming." And I was just SO DEEPLY CONFUSED by that, like were things normal or were they not normal? You have to pick one.
In general I get why this book is what it is, and the author even mentions towards the end that in many ways its her attempt at processing her feelings over this huge and life altering event. I don't begrudge her that. I just don't know that it's really worth everyone's while to read it. A nice little bit of summarized points would do the trick for anyone interested in Melania and the fallout, the rest is pretty personal and comes off as not at all favorable for the author, so I don't know that this is one that thousands (millions?) of people should really waste their time reading.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I see a lot of one-star reviews -- clearly from cult members who are angry at the author for tarnishing the reputation of the First Lady. Also lots of multi-star reviews, seemingly from people who appreciate a fairly well-written and very detailed story of how SWW was thrown under the bus (or the train, as Michael Cohen said) by the Trumps. As for her BFF and what she felt about the way Ms. Wolkoff was treated? The famous green jacket says it all “I really don’t care, do you?”

SWW says the First Lady is “...either a long-suffering victim of her unfaithful husband or a coldhearted gold digger. “ Why is it either/or? I think she’s both. She knows exactly what she has, and how much it costs. Or, more accurately, how large the reward. My biggest question (which I kept screaming internally after it became so clear that her “job” at the WH was a sham and she was just being used and treated badly); WHY THE F%*K DIDN’T SHE LEAVE? Fun read. Hope the investigations turn up what happened to that 80 million dollars!!

BTW I shelved this with "true crime" deliberately!

[Robin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Don’t waste your time reading about Melania here. Unless you want to listen to/read hours worth of rants by a self-righteous, scorned, victim-y former friend who for some reason felt compelled to write a book. Mostly I felt embarrassed for the author and also cringed when I saw her awkward interview by Rachel
Maddow. I listened to the audiobook- which was read by the author. It felt like one long, angry rant and put me in the worst mood!

[Suzi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Melania is irritating, calculating, and self-centered. The author puts a lot of stuff in quotes so I hope she taped the conversations and phone calls. It's a long and tangled story with way too many details. Melania will be fine, with the AmEx card and her glam team. The author probably needs the book money just to pay some of her legal bills. My favorite part was Michael Cohen calling to tell her he'd taped their conversations and was turning them over to the DA. Wow, just wow. She states her disbelief in "friend" Melania with "A Trump is a Trump is a Trump" I can only imagine what Baron or Barron will become. Ivanka is def a Princess. Originally I gave this book a bad review and then realized I was mad at Melania, not the author. Melania deserves all the blame for what she is and the criticism she receives. She is very calculating and appearances matter, just as substance does not. She does not live by her motto: Be Best.

[Marceline · Rating 2 out of 5]

A friend of mine had bought this book but for some reason didn't want to read it, or be the first to read it, so she asked me to. I should have known better, honestly. I don't really read super political books or "tell alls" especially in this current political climate.

Let's start off by saying, this should have and could have easily been called "Stephanie Feels Betrayed and Whines" because a good majority of it, when not spent being hypocritical in regards to DJT and MT, was spent telling us about how she is the victim and how MT "betrayed" and "destroyed" her.

It starts off with how she's disgusted by DJT's leaked audio of him telling another dude to "grab 'em by the...." but then she tells us what she feels is a "cutesy" story of how her and her husband met... with him asking a mutual friend "who that broad on the left" was. Can you say "hypocrite" much??? Then she rails against slut-shaming later on when they go after MT.

Throwing that aside, she explains that the 2016 election was the first time she has ever participated in the voting process, and that her reasoning is that she could "never pull the trigger" on a candidate because neither candidate in previous elections fit her worldview and belief system 100%. Ok... So you decide to go vote for a man who says disgusting things and has a history of conning people and throwing them under a bus when their usefullness is used up? You're telling us that THAT is your belief system? Mmkay....

She tells us how she nearly worked herself to death for DJT and MT and wasn't paid. That she paid to help them. That she could "change" them. That she could "protect" MT from the "supervillain" Ivanka. As if MT was such a fragile person and incapable of defenseless. She really builds herself up as being the "selfless hero" in all of this. The entire time this is going on her family and friends and work colleagues are practically BEGGING her to not work for the Trumps or to STOP working for the Trumps. Red Flags. She see's first hand how they dismiss and throw people under the bus. She ends up having surgery and is out of the picture for a couple months and there's even MORE red flags after she comes back. Now, any logical or sensible person would probably at this point have said "Look, this is starting to affect my health in a major way and I'm feeling unwelcome and having to jump through hoops to do basic things so I'll just stop" but she.... she decides she wants a second helping.

She wasn't betrayed by MT. Hands down. Her "betrayal" is more of the realization that she set Melania up on a pedestal because Melania made her feel "needed" when Melania wasn't an actual friend of hers. They were tea buddies/socialites at best. And later, she was an employee of Melania, and Melania treated her as such. True friends do not expect perfection, ass kissing, jumping through hoops, nor the movement of mountains. Melania didn't jump to her defense simply because they were not friends and it was easier to do nothing than get involved in the PIC drama.

Was this woman betrayed? Yes. By other players in this political game. She was set up hook, line, and sinker. But NOT by MT. And it was a betrayal of her own creation to an extent. I feel sorry she ended up in deep shit, but I don't buy this "Melania and me was besties and she betrayed me and is a fallen, empty vessel of a woman."

This woman can be a reminder of what happens when you hang out with people who are users of others.

[courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the most interesting of all the Trump tell-alls I’ve read. I appreciated getting the truth about little moments like Melania’s frown at the Inauguration (Barron kicked her) and the reason why her husband always does his dumb thumbs up during photos (so he doesn’t have to touch anyone).
There is no Melania to “free”. She’s void of passion, empathy, and a personality, quite frankly. She and Donald don’t have a marriage that *I* envy, but they seem to get along fine, and she only ever does exactly what she wants to do (which is not a lot, in fact!).
We would do well to remember the message on her infamous green jacket: “I really don’t care”. She doesn’t care about being First Lady, she doesn’t care about the American people. Queen Melania only cares about herself. Truly the Trump way.

P.S. Bitch definitely does not speak 5 languages.

[Jayne · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!!!!!! If you're in the market for a huge dose of toxic venom, this is the book for you! I listened to the audio version of this book, read by the author....and the intense hatred for the Trump administration and Melania could be felt in each word that this backstabbing author uttered.

It's interesting to note that the title of this book is very misleading. Instead of "Melania and Me", this book should have been entitled "It's All About Me" because the author is very, very, very narcissistic and this book is really not about the author's alleged "BFF" relationship with Melania. Instead, this book showcases the author's role in planning Trump's inauguration and denial of responsibility for mismanaging inauguration funds.

To gain a better understanding of who this author really is and where she was coming from, please note that at age 26, this author was "adopted" by her mother's second husband, Bruce Winston, the son of jeweler Harry Winston, Who gets adopted at age 26 by a wealthy man? Someone who puts "social climbing" and "prestige" high on her priority list.

As previously stated, I found the author to be extremely narcissistic; constantly in need of adulation. In addition, I felt that although many of the author's grievances had merit, many of the author's complaints were also groundless. The author's son had a peanut allergy and the author was angry at Melania for not confiding in her about her own almond allergy. The author was hurt that Melania did not recognize her expertise in food allergies and also that Melania did not view her as a worthy confidant. (I wonder why!) The author personally received $1.62 million for her work for the inauguration and claimed that she used that money to help pay other inaugural workers; while keeping a well-deserved stipend of over $400K for herself. (HUH?) Quite frankly, the author's feeling of entitlement was pretty mind-blowing to me. The author always expected Melania to think of her (the author) first before any decisions were made and became disgruntled each time Melania did not solicit and/or follow her advice.

The pre-press publicity for this book mentioned that Melania and Ivanka's relationship was strained and that Melania called Ivanka Trump "The Princess" behind her back. In fact, the book never directly attributed any negative Ivanka quotes to Melania and it was the author(and not Melania) who felt that Ivanka was a publicity hog who frequently tried to sabotage many Melania events that the author had planned. The author also hinted that Ivanka was the reason she never landed a paid position at the white house.

Two final comments about this author:
1) The author and her children allegedly had a close relationship with Barron Trump. So why would the author write a book about Melania, Barron's mother??? I totally understand the need to defend oneself against false allegations, but there are certainly better ways to do this than capitalizing on your alleged BFF's friendship and throwing your children's friend's mother under the bus.
2) The author had loved her "volunteer post" at the White House and had been consistently pushing for a contract and paid position. It was only when it became clear that the Trump administration did not "share the love" and that there would be no paid position at the White House, the author's "Never Trumper" transformation began. It's not fun to be scorned and I "get" where this author's despair, unhappiness, disappointment, frustration, and hatred were coming from. MY POINT? If the author had secured a paid position at the White House, the author would be White House staffer and this book never would have been written.

SIGH, SIGH, SIGH. So many "I Hate the Trumps" books.....so little time.

To the author's credit, the book really moved and it was well researched and very believable. It was just moving in the wrong direction for me.

[Lexi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is insane. Like absolutely 100% this is some shit. Let me pitch it as if Serena from Gossip Girl wrote a tell-all about Blair, only it's in the white house.

This is Republican Gossip Girl meets Succession meets Game of Thrones, all wrapped in a bow of an unlikable narrator. The same reasons why some folks are giving this book 1 star are why I am giving it 4.5. If this was fiction, I would be obsessed with the characters. But alas, it is real life. But isn't it fun to know that these real-life monsters are just as miserable?

So a few things to start. Stephanie Winston Wolkoff is a fairly delusional author. She was Melania's best friend. She remained her best friend for years- through scandal, abuse, and knowing all of the evil Trump is capable of. On top of that, her best and most sincere recollections of Melania don't give you a deeper insight into her warmth. You never think "okay, I can see why someone would want to be her friend". The woman is cold and unfeeling. She is exactly what she displays in the press. In some ways, she is in a den of vipers. You get the sense that Stephanie herself deluded herself into wanting to take care of this demon when she really enjoyed the feeling of power she got from being so close to the first lady. There's no other explanation for that amount of loyalty to a woman with the personality of a one-dimensional anime villain.

One of the more fun aspects of the book dealt with Melania and Ivanka's relationship, which seemed to be a one-sided game of cat and mouse with Ivanka always on top. Stephanie spends a lot of time battling Ivanka on Melania's behalf and hating herm, but she's never really able to justify that hate outside of the fact that Ivanka was always stealing the spotlight from her friend. The constant infighting and pure seething hatred in this family was absolutely premium HBO quality rich: complete with chess-like moves between their representatives, sabotaging each other in public, and more.

Both Stephanie and Melania see themselves as victims in their own right, with Stephanie really only being mad that her friend threw her under the bus and stopped giving a shit about her. Stephanie now regularly posts anti Trump pieces on her Twitter, but had she not been abandoned by the family, she would continue to be cleaning up her messes. As a character, Stephanie is messy herself as you can see. She never cared about politics, thought she was doing something patriotic, would comment on how "bad' the latest Trump human rights policy is and then continue to defend the family and more.

Stephanie also has a deeply inflated ego. Some of my favorite passages pertain to how she is a humanitarian that does so much for children and human rights causes. When she explains further, most of these center around research for allergies...because her kid has allergies and this is apparently a super huge deal. The truth is, Stephanie is just as bad as the snakes she proclaims ruined her life. Her idea of being a humanitarian is to put on a charity for food allergies while at the same time, shielding a woman and her husband from as much scrutiny as possible while they do things like strip transgender people of their rights.

Evil in Stephanie's world is Melania not going to one of her little allergy galas or whatever. Evil was not Melania supporting her husband through sexual assault accusations or banning Muslims from entering the country.

You should absolutely pick this book up. It's juicy, easy to listen to, and reads more like a memoir or a spicy TV drama than it does an expose on the Trump family. Walking out of it, my opinions on the family have not changed, but I did find this deeply entertaining, and the added bonus of a villain narrator made it much more fun than other books.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was kind of punishing to read. Like the author, I was left wondering why I did it to myself.

It's hard to believe the author got herself into the position she did (I mean, I believe it, and I am sympathetic towards her and everything she's had to deal with). BUT...how do you work for the Trumps (without pay even) and not think you're going to get screwed at some point?

I also am astounded how it took her so long to see how one-sided her *friendship* with Melania was. That said, while she didn't deserve what she got, how do you willingly take part in this shit show from the beginning? Great, you're BFFs (or at least you think you are) with MT, that doesn't mean you sign up to help your friend and her husband destroy the country.

Anyway, some good details (hello private email servers for practically every Trump), the inauguration finances were criminal, and Melania seems like a cold, calculated, and awful person. If you're up for another read about these horrible people, this is entertaining at least. But I can't wait to never have to think about them again. Oh, and I hope there really are tapes.

(Disclaimer: I had a B&N credit and after I saw the Maddow interview, I was curious to read the whole book. I probably would not have bought this otherwise.)

[Joyce Hamel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Right from the beginning of this book, irony abounds. The author actually dedicated the book: To Melania. it is ironic because if even 80% of this book is accurate, Melania will not care about what the author has to say about her, let alone feel any emotion concerning the depth of Wolkoff’s friendship and loyalty to a person who apparently never cared about her. – anyone who was a friend and/or worked for her. And I mean worked for her, Melania did almost nothing.

Wolkoff took copious notes during their relationship and never tossed out their texts, which were replete with Melania telling her she loved her with added emojis. Wolkoff, despite her affluent life, is a hard-working, charitable woman, and mother of three children and an adoring husband, whom she says is a great dancer – loved that part. Wolkoff worked very hard to become the great advisor, director and professional who was able to create and organize big events. She has a valid, impressive resume.

Wolkoff became a convert to Trumpland. The night of the election, she was very happy for Melania and the Trumps. Up to that time, the author supported Melania’s rise to First Lady and advised of her personal and national responsibilities. She counseled her and was sincere in her support. She wanted Melania to be the “best,” sound familiar?

They became friends or at least Wolkoff thought they were. They always said they loved each other as many close girl friends express... Melania cared about her son, possibly Donald, since she is so much like him, her parents and sister. At one point, Melania asked her to help her sister obtain an O-1 visa which is granted to non-Americans who have achieved an extraordinary achievement or ability that would benefit our country. The author did not know her sister but wrote a recommendation for Ines. Ines was granted the visa but Stephanie Wolkoff never received a thank you. As an American citizen and referencing Trump’s penchant against immigrants, I do not approve of Wolkoff’s help in obtaining a visa for someone she did not know. But apparently, she would do anything for Melania.

Everything came crashing down when Stephanie was expelled from the Trump kingdom. Apparently, there were serious problems concerning the finances of the inauguration. Melania could have assuaged any culpability directed at her, but she didn’t. Stephanie begged Melania to just explain everything. She didn’t. Their relationship was all but over. Our author was devastated and needed legal representation. She was betrayed and then began to tape pertinent tapes of Melania regarding the questionable usage of substantial inaugural money. We may hear Melania discussing this money - STAY TUNED.

Wolkoff can support conversations, texts, notes, events, etc. She is meticulous; after all she is an event planner. Many readers may find the references to Ivanka and her relationship to Melania very interesting. Personally, I am still waiting for Melania to do something for our country. Almost all First Ladies had an active goal: literacy, obesity in children, women’s rights are a few. Apparently, Melania does not want to be bothered. Wolkoff finally understood why Melania remains with Donald, she is just like him.
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[Lynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

First: I read a library copy of this book. No way am I putting any money in the pockets of the people who write these books on the DJT family.

Stephanie Winston Wolkoff thought she was a dear friend of Melania Trump. Boy, was she wrong. She somehow mistook occasional lunches and emoji laden texts for friendship. She opened her heart to Melania and in return, Melania offered...nothing. Just more emoji laden texts. When DJT ran for president, the author voted for the first time, for him. Then, in her quest to support her supposed BFF, she agrees to help with the inauguration festivities planning. She severs all ties with her other friends to help Melania. She works as a volunteer in Melania’s office, because the administration hadn’t done any planning during the transition and appropriated the FLOTUS budget for the West Wing. Although her family is in NYC, she spends most of her time in DC, paying for her own hotel room at a DJT property. She works herself so hard that she eventually ends up in the hospital in serious condition. And through all this she is just blinded by her relationship with Melania, making excuses for her, running interference for her, living for her emoji texts. She tries to portray Melania as a victim of the West Wing, especially Ivanka. What she doesn’t understand until it is way too late, is that Melania doesn’t care about anyone but Melania (and possibly Barron). Melania does only what she wants to do, dresses the way she wants to dress, and is obsessed with photos of herself. The author constantly whines about how badly she is being treated, how ethical she is, how no one understands Melania. Well, no one put a gun to her head and forced her to work FOR FREE for Melania; if she was so “ethical” she wouldn’t have been working for Melania to begin with; and Melania showed her time and time again who she really is, and the author didn’t believe her. It’s not until the West Wing blamed her for the fiasco of the inauguration money corruption that she finally started to get a clue. By then it was too late. Melania cut her loose, she racked up huge legal bills and her reputation was in shambles. And yet she still continued her emoji relationship with Melania until the light bulb finally turned on. And then she whines that she was a victim of Melania and DJT. Duh.

I have no sympathy for anyone in this book, except the author’s children. The author is a seemingly intelligent woman, yet she was played by a master manipulator. Why her husband didn’t have a “come to Jesus” talk with her about how she was being used, especially when she ended up in the hospital, is beyond me. (Yes, I know that term is ironic, given that she is Jewish, but so am I, and “come to Moses” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.) But he had to see what was going on, especially since she was away from her family so much, and he just let it play out. I can’t think of ANY job, paid or unpaid, that I would give priority to over my marriage. Prior to her work for Melania, the author worked for Vogue, ran the Met Gala for about 9 years, and had a “ladies who lunch” lifestyle, keeping her family her top priority. Once Melania became FLOTUS, the author loses all perspective. Melania is the sole focus of her life, and of course Melania just sees this as her due. Once she is cast aside, she pens a self absorbed, burn all my bridges tell all.

Frankly, the book is more of an indictment of the author’s vapidity than anything else. Melania has shown us who she is for 4 years now, and we have believed her all along. Too bad the author didn’t do the same.

[Erin Cataldi · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really enjoyed learning more about how the inauguration was planned, the inner workings of the East Wing, and insight into Melania's life - but I did not enjoy the whiney "look at me" moments from the author. Stephanie constantly touted her resume, her work with famous designers, editors, and politicians; including snippets from articles she was mentioned in and lots of photographic evidence to reinforce her larger than life reputation. Stephanie put herself in a stupid situation that was toxic for her emotional and physical health, her family and her finances. Yes she was friends with Melania since the early 2000s. They hung out and texted a lot. Then it quickly turned into Melania wanting favors from their friendship leading into planning and executing the inauguration and then taking an unpaid position in Melania's cabinet. She had no title and no salary but hung around because Melania was her friend and it was her patriotic duty? Come on. Is she really surprised that the Trump family threw her under the bus to save their own asses later on down the line? Again, there were some interesting tidbits about Melania, Ivanka and the Trump family but honestly no shocking revelations. They're all scum.

[Sandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

About one-third in, the book seemed lopsided --too much of the “Me” part and not enough “Melania” -- but in the end I concluded that the background and buildup were key to understanding the story and why the author wrote it. I had forgotten about newspaper articles mentioning the author, and I’m glad I had because it kept me reading through the long “rise” mentioned in the title and intensified her account of the “fall.” One doesn’t need to view the story through the lens of party politics to appreciate its essence. It’s an enlightening story for anyone who has been in an unequal friendship, one with a giver and a taker. And anyone who has planned and produced a large-scale event will enjoy going along for the bumpy ride.

[Hilary · Rating 1 out of 5]

Melania Trump is a bad friend. She has friction with Ivanka, seems devoted to her husband, focuses on fashion instead of policy and is otherwise completely irrelevant & vapid. The author made some terrible business decisions, was loyal to the Trumps and got burned. The only thing I found enjoyable about the book was how much Melania swears.

[Catherine Read · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very well written and engaging book. So many books have been written contemporaneously about the Trumps that it leaves almost nothing for historians to uncover in the future. The history is being written in real time - with lots of documentation and evidence.

What's different about this one is that is one of the few books written about Trumpworld by a woman who was a close family friend for 14 years. Friend or not, she was expendable. As is everyone in Trumpworld. These people are about self preservation.

What is poignant about this book is how the author, Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, humanizes a First Lady who is a person few people know anything about. Ultimately their friendship and its demise is like a Shakespearian tragedy. It *is* a tragedy on so many levels.

What is sad to consider is how easily Melania Trump was willing to allow a friend to be thrown under the bus to preserve the Trump family. When Donald Trump is in a prison jumpsuit in a cell between Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby, Melania might need a friend or two, but I can't imagine who will be there. Not Stephanie.

Ultimately, this is a book about politics, friendships and what it means to care about someone so much that you lose your own sense of self preservation. I highly recommend it. I learned a lot.

[Juliana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vapid. Uncaring. Selfish. Disloyal. In other words, Melania is a Trump.

When Melania wore that jacket that said, "I really don't care, do you?" it sort of sums up her entire career as First Lady and frankly, her as a person. I mean, really, what has she done?

I had nothing to admire about Melania, and even less after reading Winston's account, yet another account, of someone paying a heavy price for entering the Trump inner circle. Winston, perhaps, being the fall guy for inauguration money laundering. Everything this family does is a grift, and Melania is right at the center.

There is a part of me, the part loves reading Vanity Fair and Us, which found lots of juicy stuff in this book. I especially liked reading about Melania and Ivanka--it fed my inner mean girl. I was highly entertained and appalled at the same time.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh I was so drawn to this, and I am still trying to put my finger on why. Maybe its because there was such an element to this that was beyond politics, and the mystery of why how the Trumps operate, and why they are so loved. At its heart, this could have been about anything, anywhere. Its about a friendship between two women, and we all know what its like as women to be in the authors position. Where you fight monsters and all kinds of evils to be there for your friend, believing she would do the same. That somehow everything you did for that person, they would show up for you. I think every woman must know what its like to realize the person who loved and laid your life down for, who swore they loved you back, never really did. May have said and done the right things, but couldn't reciprocate. This is more than the 'mean girl,' its the cold girl. Where those emotional abilities just were never developed. Where it isn't in you to even understand what is lacking. Melania probably loved Stephanie as much as it was possible for her to love a friend. Its just that those skills were frighteningly poor.

I related to Stephanie. Not in every way. She's tall, rich, beautiful, accomplished (so am I in my own field, but I don't run in these impressive circles) and flawless. I didn't relate to her in any of those dimensions. But as a Jewish mother, who loved her husband and kids and did everything humanly possible to protect them? Who loved her friends, and did the same? Who believed in a good cause and would fight for it? Who after laying down under a train for her friends, and is rolled over, still thanks the conductor for the ride? There is something truly good and relatable about Stephanie Winston Wolcoff. The book is in part a love letter, and in part an apology to herself for the decisions she made and still staying allied and trusting, all the while the resentment for what she lost. Again, we have all grieved a friendship we thought was more true than it was.

But that was not the only draw. The world has wanted to understand the mindset of Donald Trump, and Melania too. Given the portrait drawn, they seem to be a perfect match. We all have wanted to know what Melania's mindset has been during the last four years, trying to understand, waiting for her tell-all, which I now understand will never come. But for all of Stephanie's ardent wish to protect her, to keep her safe from the wolves, to be the one person looking out for her, Stephanie tells us right at the end of the prologue. Don't you worry, Melania is fine. And that does seem to be how she's made. I fine myself sorry for her, (sorrier for Stephanie) thinking she doesn't have a friend in the world any more, lost her last and only. But she likely doesn't notice, or care. That is part of the makeup we are shown. A woman who is incapable of accessing or expressing her feelings. Who knows exactly who she married, who brushes off everything from her husband's disrespect, infidelities, and a stepdaughter who is bent on her erasure, who responds by simply not caring what the press think, what her friends think, what the people think, what anyone will think. No one gets behind the mask of calm presentation. Either she doesn't feel, or never lets the mask down. Interesting that one surprising thing emerged for me. When Fire and Fury came out and depicted Melania as crying her eyes out, and having never wanted her husband to win, the author asserts that was false. And that is believable, given the portrait of her character. If there are real true deep conflicted feelings in her, they are hard to be found, even in the people closest to her. Melania and Donald seem to have a short sightedness in a similar way, rather peas in a pod. It's hard for either of them to see past a lens to shades, and be affected by those perceptions. If anything, Donald has a lot more trouble managing what he hears from the press, and has real outrage, while Melania is as smooth as a cucumber. She calms him, with her implacable belief in her reality, and in that reality, nothing negative, vulnerable, or conflictual, or personal intrudes. For example she will want to have her name printed as First Lady Elect, even when every single person around her tells her that she hasn't been elected to anything. She will wear a white pantsuit, even though she is told that will confuse her messaging. She doesn't care. She loved the pantsuit. Heels to a hurricane, an inappropriate jacket to visiting child immigration centers, she doesn't care about the advice that is given. She won't attend anything she doesn't want to, and she does what she wants when she wants it.

And yet she is portrayed as someone who lets people walk all over her, and steal her spotlight. She never stood up once to the way the White House ran circles around her, and set her up for failure. Stephanie did that protection for her. Every time she refused something, Ivanka walked in and took her place. There seemed to be no ability to fight for herself, and the White House appeared to sacrifice her at every turn. And of course eventually Stephanie was sacrificed too, as did everyone associated with trying to help in this administration. If you stood up for ethics and honesty, you were set up and gone, reputation ruined, with no ability to clear your name. Stephanie believed in Melania, but she also believed in the power of the office for her and Melania to do something important for children. She saw the Inauguration, which she sacrificed her life and health to produce, as a celebration of America and its peaceful transfer of power (laughable moment now), and saw it as an opportunity to do something historic and beautiful. The Initiative that she worked so hard on with Melania, was fraught from the beginning. Melania wanted to focus on cyberbullying, and was aware that her husband being the worst cyber bully of them all was an obvious problem in the messaging. But that's Melania. She just didn't care. Never saw the cognitive dissonance. Wrote it off. Couldn't acknowledge what didn't fit. See what I mean about a perfect match?

Now I want to say something about the way families work - again taking Politics and Trump world out of it. In the ideal healthy circumstance, when a father marries for the third time, a woman who is around the age of his accomplished spoiled daughter, there needs to be some conversation, acknowledgement, rules, and boundaries set. Like the daughter and the step mother need to be able to come to some begrudging respect for their relationship with their father or husband. Often the mature husband insists on it, and sets boundaries for the respect and mutual understanding of both important relationships. And if the father/partner fails to do so, it is left to the women to figure it out for themselves between them - how to make a family work. In this family however, relationships are a free for all, with no boundaries, no respect, and no expectations, and certainly no rules. Melania appears to ask for nothing, and therefore gets nothing. It's almost unsurprising that Ivanka steps in. She seems to have some savvy that Melania lacks. And fills the hole that is left, easily. Throughout the book, Stephanie sees Melania as capable of deep feeling, but simply unable to express, which of course is the point of the initiative. To teach kids to healthily express their feelings, and deal with emotional content with emotional regulation. Which of course no one in this family seems to be able to do. The impression of Trump is nothing new to the other exposes. This was about her, and her alone. Regardless of politics, or what the author felt about the policies that were being put into place, or Donald's behavior, the book was not about that. It was about the makeup and psychology of Melania, and really about the friendship and what Stephanie was slowly coming to see and know.

Then there is the glam part, the part that is why Crazy Rich Asians was such a sensation. The part about money and dresses and fashion, and power. Again, this felt separate from politics to me. From the get go, Stephanie was a professional who demanded to see the budget, who knew how to make sure a staff or vender got paid, to the exclusion of herself. Who demanded numbers add up. Who knows how to work a shoestring budget and skeletal staff. Who can demand to see things that were deliberately withheld from her. Who can keep an ambitious arrogant daughter in law in check. Were these people just poor businessmen and women? Shrewd lawyers in power play? The shenanigans that went on with just putting on the Inauguaration Week, made no sense, had no order, and without Stephanie, would have failed immensely. And yet, she got no credit, no pay, no salary or contract when she worked for Melania for over a year. What she got, was blamed and framed, and falsely accused of being paid 26 million dollars for her work, which I believe her, was never the case. And did Melania help clear her, or protect her from taking the fall, well you don't need to read the book to know the answer to that one. She did not. And still Stephanie continued to help her and take her calls, long after she was betrayed, her relationship destroyed, the friendship shattered, and years of time with her family lost, and her health compromised. Still the texting emoji's with empty platitudes. And like any good best friend, Stephanie half heartedly just took it. That's what's compelling about the story. We have all been there at one time. Wanting to believe in our heroes and heroines, in Camelot. And always wanting to believe in our friends and the causes they represent. I believe this book was a healing for Stephanie. A narrative. It actually wasn't meant to be an expose to harm Melania, who wouldn't care. It was an explanation. An apology - to her herself, to her family. It was meant to clear her name, but also for the world to see her for her heart, as her friend could not. She seems to understand that Melania loved her as best as she could within her limitations. That is why this is in some ways a love letter, to those who are emotionally stunted, but for whom we loved all the same. Stephanie, I hope this book heals you in some way. I got you, girlfriend. Truly I do. I got your back.

[Dale Clark · Rating 4 out of 5]

The detailed, enlightening overview of the disorganized, chaotic daily activities during the planning of Trump's 2016 inauguration was somewhat tiresome but it is good that she has shared what she knows with the public - especially now that it is under investigation (for illegal activities and embezzlement of funds). I had mixed feelings about her relationship with Melania as I read the book, between what a devout friend the author was to how gullible and overly trusting and forgiving she was. The author's degree of detail about that relationship, as I saw it, took her to the level of martyr. The author is and knows that she is blessed to have a husband and family who stuck by her and supported her during some VERY trying times when she was involved with the Trump inauguration and as Melania's advisor at the White House! Her description of Melania enhanced my perception that she is a cold, calculating, self-serving and self-absorbed woman, from having read "The Art of Her Deal". That aside, I do believe she is a good mother. That all said I don't know her nor do other underlings in the public and she will keep it that way. WHY? And Ivanka? Seems like they are birds of a feather. I wish for the author a clarity of purpose and wisdom from here on. She has a long row to hoe yet but she can sleep nights if what she has told us in this book is all accurate.

[C · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book started out interesting, though poorly written, but by halfway through it was just infuriating. I couldn't even pity this woman who was so infatuated and obsequiously devoted to the other half of a very obviously one-sided friendship with an empty vessel who can't emotionally attach to people. It was so outrageous that she basically threw out her life, her physical and mental health, and left her family behind in another state in order to produce the inauguration of someone she clearly has political misgivings about, and then stays in DC to do insane amounts of work, unpaid. For a YEAR. All this despite her friendship with Melania being clearly transactional and shallow in nature. No wonder these people used her as a mark. She turned down a U.N. ambassadorship to continue to work for free in this capacity despite everyone around her disliking her. Seriously, I am so baffled by this. Then all of a sudden she realizes that what Trump is doing is really bad and she grows a political spine, but before she was so blinded by her obsession with Melania that she took her young kids to a Trump rally despite acknowledging that they're unhinged and that he says awful stuff. I just ended up feeling contempt for every single person in this book. I guess it's good that she learned to vote though.

[Dion Lim · Rating 3 out of 5]

After reading so many stories about the turmoil behind the scenes of this current administration I was hoping to get some insight from a Stephanie Winston Wolkoff's book.

While fascinating to learn about the inner dealings of the White House and what it's like to work for the first lady I couldn't help but think there were some tones of bitterness that made the author not very likable herself. It was easy to sympathize with her dealing with alleged communication breakdowns and health problems... and I understand the need to name drop to prove your accomplishments but it all made for a somewhat unlikeable protagonist.

Overall, it's somewhat of an entertaining read for insider insight of, for example, putting together an inauguration. But don't expect to find yourself cheering for the author at the end of it!

[Ericka Clou · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good primer on what happens when you try to befriend the devil or the devil's "sweet" wife. But this doesn't just apply to the Trumps or evil people in politics more generally, I think it's a pretty good breakdown on how and why you can't expect to successfully deal with people who break rules, laws, take advantage of others, or lack basic empathy.

It's also an excellent reminder of why it's important not to sign non-disclosure agreements, though frankly, I have signed one myself. Often, when people are confronted with such agreements they are tied to money and the signee feels that they don't have a choice of whether or not to sign. But if you don't absolutely have to sign one, do not sign!

Also, I find am very suspicious of Maggie Haberman's journalism now.

[Ami · Rating 1 out of 5]

Imagine a normal day at work. Now imagine keeping track of everything that is being said to you, including who emailed what, who texted what, who tried to get close to the boss, who was passive-aggressive, who drank the last of the milk etc., so you can go home and presumably torture your family or friends with a painfully detailed version of your (aggressively boring) day. Now imagine you were working in the Trump White House, and instead of your loved ones you were torturing your readers – and there you have it, that is Stephanie Winston Wolkoff’s book in a nutshell. Or really, ramblings. Melania and me is nowhere near readable enough to be called a book.

A bit of background: Stephanie Winston Wolkoff is a former fashion exec who worked with the likes of Anna Wintour, producing events like the Met Gala. She was casual friends with Melania Knauss, later Trump. Due to her experience, she was invited to help produce Donald Trump’s inauguration, and later joined Melania Trump’s office as a special advisor. She left the Trump White House with a bang when officials appeared to blame her for the misuse of inauguration funding. I can understand why Wolkoff – or SWW, as she was repeatedly called by others – would be pissed off. The Trumps did her dirty, allowing her reputation to be ruined over baseless (?) claims. But SWW gives as good as she gets in this ‘book’, which I can only suppose she penned to annoy Melania and her staff.

Reading this made me feel honestly embarrassed for Wolkoff, because she comes across rather poorly. She spends the first few chapters building herself up for the reader. She does this by trying to dazzle you with names – she even name-drops Harvey Weinstein?! –, to the point of becoming insufferable. Later chapters about her work for the Trumps appear to be largely lifted from her journals and records, rich in pointless details. They paint an equally insufferable picture of an advisor who would run to ‘Donald and Melania’ whenever she disagreed with another employee, a friend who tried so hard to control the newly minted First Lady she ended up putting her off, a manager so terrible she’d badmouth the very staff she hired to an increasingly exasperated Melania, a control freak who’d rather work from the hospital bed than trust her colleagues and delegate, or ask for help. But hey, none of us are perfect, and I can believe Wolkoff was stressed out of her mind in that job – what actually bothers me the most is her hypocrisy about why she took that job, and why she kept it.

SWW tries to make it seem like she and Melania Trump were very close friends – having read what their friendship consisted of, I completely disagree. Melania clearly considered her a ‘lunch friend’, someone she saw occasionally but she was not close to. Someone useful. She does not appear to have ever opened up in any meaningful way to Wolkoff – to give you one example, Wolkoff is involved in several charities raising funds for research into allergies due to her son’s health condition; Melania never donated nor came to any events Wolkoff organized for allergy research; later Wolkoff discovered Melania herself has an allergy to peanuts, and never even bothered to tell her. Their relationship mostly consisted of Melania asking Wolkoff for increasingly bigger favours – including producing her husband’s inauguration. When Melania failed to stand up for Wolkoff, I think only Wolkoff was surprised. Melania was never her friend, and she was pretty transparent about that.

Wolkoff tries to claim that her friendship with Melania and her ‘patriotic duty’ brought and kept her in the White House. In the process of ‘helping’ Melania – a lot of which seemed to include policing Melania, what clothes she wears, what she says, who she hires; at one point she even tried to force Melania and Donald to go out on a Valentine’s Day date for appearances’ sake – she spent a great of money while not getting paid, worked in a different city than her family, and ruined her health. No one does this type of sacrifices for their lunch friend. Nor am I convinced about the ‘patriotic duty’ – this is a person who never voted in her life, until 2016. Wolkoff clearly thought shaping the First Lady was the opportunity of a lifetime, and she was not going to miss it. It did not work out her way. Pretending to have done it all out of love for Melania is, frankly, embarrassing and dishonest, doubly so since it's Melania Trump.

The 'love' for Melania is just as blind and undiscerning as the extreme hatred for Ivanka. Wilkoff hates ‘Princess’ Ivanka, but she cannot produce any evidence of Ivanka having ever being discourteous to her. She claims Ivanka tried to sabotage Melania, and was somehow (???) behind Melania’s plagiarized speech. Let’s not be ridiculous, it’s Ivanka Trump, not Cersei Lannister, and this is the White House, not high school.

Ugh. I seem to have lost myself in the details as well, so best to wrap up.

Thus concludes my little reading project on the Trumps. Goodbye. Good riddance. You will not be missed.

[Louise · Rating 3 out of 5]

Stephanie Wolkoff tells of her friendship with Melania Trump and how she got involved in the PIC (Presidential Inauguration Committee). The PIC work is told in a chronology, summarizing things that happened on “X days before the inauguration”. This is followed by her role in setting up the first lady’s office and the demise of her friendship with Melania. She shows how she came to be the face of the (still unexplained) financial debacle of the Inaugural Committee, the emotional turmoil that resulted and the lessons learned.

As you journey with her through her Inaugural and FLOTUS work, you notice her naïveté. Many friends had warned her about the Trumps but she was proud of being apolitical. She was convinced Melania was her friend and together they could make a difference.

Her Inaugural work, as presented, for me, was a blur. I could not figure out her role. The only title or job description I could find was a word salad on the book jacket. You glean a bit of what she is doing, but her actual responsibilities are unclear.

There are 18 (or so) events. Which ones are hers? There is more about Melania’s wardrobe than working with contractors and subs. Wolkoff gets schedules (she never makes them). She gets budgets (she never makes these either). Everyone in the PIC is trying to get A List entertainment (who is actually responsible?).

She sees a schedule that shows Melania (and DJT) hosting $1 million/ticket candlelight dinner (p. 79). The event (you might assume it is a Main Event- right?) is news to Wolkoff, who is supposedly an executive producer. Melania is surprised that people pay to come to a dinner she hosts. Wolkoff picks the location, uses her artistic/event skills/ It comes off beautifully, but who set it up and who was really in charge?

Wolkoff knows that Tom Barrack is raising money… but she doesn’t seem curious about how much or where it is going.

She seems over her head, trusting and naive: Was she targeted as mark from the very beginning?

After the inaugural, for which she notes DJT’s praise, she works on setting up the Office of the First Lady. This is difficult since Melania will not be moving to DC for a while. Stephanie writes of (unspecified) wonderful things she and Melania can do for families and children, but does not notice Melania’s tepid (if any) interest.

There is a lot on the search for staff. Well qualified professionals turn her down. Top level staffing slots are limited and these get assigned to more bureaucratically attuned West Wing staffers. Stephanie agrees to volunteer so that they can get another paid position, but, still, no policy or communications positions are allotted for the FLOTUS office.

Never does Stephanie realize that Melania’s stated priority (Baron and herself) and her inability (or lack of desire) to network or to define a message or enlist her husband’s power are a deterrents. Wolkoff and Melania are like a little island in the administration, and Melania does not seem to care. There are examples of how Ivanka would like to perform the First Lady role.

Without staff, the FLOTUS office is essentially reactive. They learn of others’ plans for Mrs. Abe’s (FLOT Japan) visit and International Woman’s Day and wedge in their own participation.

Exhausted and stressed out, Wolkoff is hospitalized for a pain that she, as a workaholic, had been ignoring. When she returns, she sees her friend, Melania, now working with the West Wing staff (and not needing her) and cooling towards her.

In all this (FLOTUS work & illness), meetings on “The 990” begin: Where did all the money go? Maybe $100 million?

The New York Times headlined the story. The article implies that Wolkoff, a society friend of the First Lady, was given a bloated sweetheart contract and walked off with a lot of money. Wolkoff describes the embarrassment, shame, devastation for her and her family. Her self esteem, identity and career choices are shaken and it looks like a break down. There is a bit on how and why this story was originated/planted. Melania does not go to bat for her … it takes a while for this to sink in. Wolkoff is restricted by an NDA.

What was Wolkoff's’s company was paid? She says her company got $1.3 million and her “net” was just over $400K. She does say in passing that she “transferred to Inaugural Productions for the concert and the balls” (p.288). Concerts and balls clearly totaled more than the $900K difference. There are credible press reports that say the company was paid between $24 - $29 million.

It would help her credibility (I hate to say it, but a "one pager" would do) if Wolkoff clearly explained
- where the $24+ million figures come from
- the transfers to Inaugural Productions (and possibly other vendors)
- what came of the donor money from the candlelight dinner?- Why she didn't ask more questions about this event at the time?

There is another $80 million is also not accounted for, but this has been obscured (successfully for those who "lost" it) given in the media attention to the ($24 million) Wolkoff narrative. In other words, the innuendo worked and Wolkoff was scapegoated for all of it... and may not be guilty of any of it.

The material at the end is very good, but to appreciate this you have to wade through 300 pages. She says her most important lesson was that being apolitical is “a luxury” (p. 330). (Surprising that with Holocaust survivor grandparents, she is learning this now.) Another lesson was not to listen for what you want to hear (i.e. She wanted Melania to be interested in helping kids and families).

While the book is about WolKoff's experience, it defines how the Trump administration began - with an $80 million (or more) grift for which someone was blamed, but no one has been held accountable.

Clinton was impeached over Whitewater which was a $35,000 real estate deal where he lost money. This was a $80 million windfall for someone but; today, it is just another scandal that the public has lost interest in.
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There were two interesting tidbits about the Trump family. One is that Barron speaks Slovene with his mother and grandmother. The other is that Melania’s RN Convention speech, which was plagiarized from Michelle Obama, was part of the constant undermining of Melania. The Obama phrases might have been planted into the speech by Ivanka.