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Lost You - Ich werde dich finden
Wenn dein schlimmster Albtraum wahr wird Die alleinerziehende Libby und ihr dreijähriger Sohn Ethan machen zum ersten Mal Urlaub in einem Luxus-Resort, um sich für die vergangenen schwierigen Jahre zu belohnen. Doch Libby kann sich nur schlecht entspannen: Sobald Ethan aus ihrem Blickfeld verschwindet, gerät sie in Panik. Ihre Sorge ist berechtigt - denn sie hat ein Geheimnis, das sie mit niemandem teilen kann. Als Ethan eines Abends in einem Fahrstuhl spielt und sich die Türen zu Libbys Entsetzen plötzlich schließen, beginnt der Kampf einer Mutter um das geliebte Kind. Ethan verschwindet spurlos. Und die Gespenster der Vergangenheit tauchen wieder auf.
384 pages, Paperback
First published August 6, 2019
182 people are currently reading
6926 people want to read
About the author
Haylen Beck
8 books290 followersHAYLEN BECK is the pseudonym of acclaimed, Edgar Award-nominated author Stuart Neville, whose crime fiction has won the Los Angeles Times Book Prize and made best-of-year lists with numerous publications, including the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the Boston Globe. His first Haylen Beck novel was Here and Gone.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 624 reviews
April 6, 2019
Haylen Beck, aka Stuart Neville, returns with another compulsive, emotional roller coaster of a twisted psychological thriller that immediately plunges the reader into a tense and horrifying nightmare of a scenario. In a narrative that goes back and forth in time, this is a thought provoking story of the murky world of surrogacy, motherhood, and two desperate women whose lives spin beyond their control. Libby is consumed by a need to have a child but fertility issues push her dream further and further away from her. Her obsession pushes her into drastic territory and she steps into the murky and illegal world of a surrogacy agency. Anna is in dire financial straits, and answers an advertisement that appears to offer the opportunity that will make her financial woes disappear. She agrees to become a surrogate, but as the pregnancy progresses, her emotional feelings shift significantly.
Libby is now a single mother whose marriage fell apart, with a young son, Ethan, her life has not been easy. However, life has recently taken an upturn for the better, she has sold her novel and she is going to be a published writer. She and Ethan take a holiday in a upmarket resort, but Libby, a woman harbouring dark secrets, cannot shake the need to be over protective with regard to her son. As any parent will know, it is hard to keep a constant eye on a excitable young child all of the time. And sure enough, Ethan gets away and steps into a elevator, only to disappear into thin air. The police are called in frantic efforts to locate Ethan as soon as possible. As the police and Libby watch CCTV images of a woman with Ethan, Libby's world shatters into pieces as she recognises the woman as her past catches up with her. A woman that refuses to relinquish Ethan, claiming to be his mother.
Beck thrusts the reader headlong into a intelligent, fast paced, unsettling and disturbing thriller that is packed with the unexpected and surprising twists. It also requires the reader to suspend disbelief to get the most out of this moral quagmire of a novel. Libby and Anna are women who have become untethered in their personal lives, so desperate, lacking self esteem and held hostage by their obsessive need to be mothers. This is for those who enjoy the sky high suspense and tension of psychological thrillers that go where you never expect, raising issues of ethics and the drive to be a mother. Many thanks to Random House Vintage for an ARC.
Libby is now a single mother whose marriage fell apart, with a young son, Ethan, her life has not been easy. However, life has recently taken an upturn for the better, she has sold her novel and she is going to be a published writer. She and Ethan take a holiday in a upmarket resort, but Libby, a woman harbouring dark secrets, cannot shake the need to be over protective with regard to her son. As any parent will know, it is hard to keep a constant eye on a excitable young child all of the time. And sure enough, Ethan gets away and steps into a elevator, only to disappear into thin air. The police are called in frantic efforts to locate Ethan as soon as possible. As the police and Libby watch CCTV images of a woman with Ethan, Libby's world shatters into pieces as she recognises the woman as her past catches up with her. A woman that refuses to relinquish Ethan, claiming to be his mother.
Beck thrusts the reader headlong into a intelligent, fast paced, unsettling and disturbing thriller that is packed with the unexpected and surprising twists. It also requires the reader to suspend disbelief to get the most out of this moral quagmire of a novel. Libby and Anna are women who have become untethered in their personal lives, so desperate, lacking self esteem and held hostage by their obsessive need to be mothers. This is for those who enjoy the sky high suspense and tension of psychological thrillers that go where you never expect, raising issues of ethics and the drive to be a mother. Many thanks to Random House Vintage for an ARC.
May 2, 2019
Such an amazing book!! Makes me question all my previous 5 ⭐️ reads!
At different points in the story, I felt compassion and understanding for these two women. But never at the same time! They were complete opposites, focused only on themselves and a child. I never guessed the final revelations and they made for a compelling, tightly woven story.
I highly recommend Lost You to all readers who enjoy mysteries and psychological thrillers.
*Many thanks to NetGalley and publishers for the advanced reader’s copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
At different points in the story, I felt compassion and understanding for these two women. But never at the same time! They were complete opposites, focused only on themselves and a child. I never guessed the final revelations and they made for a compelling, tightly woven story.
I highly recommend Lost You to all readers who enjoy mysteries and psychological thrillers.
*Many thanks to NetGalley and publishers for the advanced reader’s copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
November 8, 2019
Libby is raising her son Ethan on her own. Working hard, never taking time for herself. But her luck seems to be taking a positive turn when a trip of a lifetime suddenly presents itself. Well come on... it’s just impossible to pass it up! So what has Libby so concerned? Why can’t she let her hair down, relax and enjoy herself? The answer is about to come to light as Ethan steps onto the hotel elevator... alone.
This book had some clever turns and the characters were the kind you’ll love to hate...or hate to love! Yet I never got that “all in” captivating feel with this read. I wanted something more. Like any other avid reader, I want to lose myself in a thriller. It just never reached that point.
This is my second book by Haylen Beck and unfortunately it lacked the intrigue I felt in his previous book Here And Gone. But, as a devoted reader, I’ll try again and look forward to his next release.
A buddy read with Susanne
Thank you to NetGalley, Crown Publishing and Haylen Beck for an ARC to read and review.
This book had some clever turns and the characters were the kind you’ll love to hate...or hate to love! Yet I never got that “all in” captivating feel with this read. I wanted something more. Like any other avid reader, I want to lose myself in a thriller. It just never reached that point.
This is my second book by Haylen Beck and unfortunately it lacked the intrigue I felt in his previous book Here And Gone. But, as a devoted reader, I’ll try again and look forward to his next release.
A buddy read with Susanne
Thank you to NetGalley, Crown Publishing and Haylen Beck for an ARC to read and review.
April 27, 2020
2 stars.
Yikes! An intriguing start that turned into a dramatic train wreck.
I was looking through my NetGalley backlist and this beautiful cover caught my eye. Turns out the cover is the only thing that I liked about this novel.
Unfortunately, this story felt extremely far fetched, over dramatized and ridiculous. The characters didn’t feel real, nor did the situations they found themselves in. I was definitely not the right reader for this book, but there are many better reviews out there that you can check out for a more positive opinion.
Thank you to NetGalley for my review copy!
Yikes! An intriguing start that turned into a dramatic train wreck.
I was looking through my NetGalley backlist and this beautiful cover caught my eye. Turns out the cover is the only thing that I liked about this novel.
Unfortunately, this story felt extremely far fetched, over dramatized and ridiculous. The characters didn’t feel real, nor did the situations they found themselves in. I was definitely not the right reader for this book, but there are many better reviews out there that you can check out for a more positive opinion.
Thank you to NetGalley for my review copy!
September 30, 2019
2.75 So so Stars.
A Dream Vacation for Libby, a single mother, turns into a nightmare when her 3 year old son Ethan is abducted. Ethan took off ahead of his mother into a hotel elevator and pushing the buttons of every single floor - while Libby futilely runs to catch up as the doors close behind him, after which he simply disappears..
Anna is a single young woman who has always struggled in life. Struggled with her family, with jobs, and struggled to make ends meet. When an opportunity comes a knocking, she takes it. Then she just keeps on taking.
Libby and Anna are two completely different women. Both have wants and needs.
From the synopsis, I thought I’d side with Libby and like her best, but I honestly found her to be annoying, idiotic and vapid. Anna’s character however was multilayered and interesting and I found her plight to be intriguing. On the whole however, Anna’s story was not enough to save this novel for me, especially given the fact that the novel revolves around Libby and what happens to her. There are lots of reviews out there for “Lost You” and I am only one reviewer thus I urge you all to look at other people’s reviews for this novel as I appear to be the outlier.
This was another buddy read with Kaceey.
Thank you to NetGalley, Crown Publishing and Haylen Beck for an arc of this novel in exchange for an honest review.
Published on Goodreads and Netgalley on 9.30.19.
A Dream Vacation for Libby, a single mother, turns into a nightmare when her 3 year old son Ethan is abducted. Ethan took off ahead of his mother into a hotel elevator and pushing the buttons of every single floor - while Libby futilely runs to catch up as the doors close behind him, after which he simply disappears..
Anna is a single young woman who has always struggled in life. Struggled with her family, with jobs, and struggled to make ends meet. When an opportunity comes a knocking, she takes it. Then she just keeps on taking.
Libby and Anna are two completely different women. Both have wants and needs.
From the synopsis, I thought I’d side with Libby and like her best, but I honestly found her to be annoying, idiotic and vapid. Anna’s character however was multilayered and interesting and I found her plight to be intriguing. On the whole however, Anna’s story was not enough to save this novel for me, especially given the fact that the novel revolves around Libby and what happens to her. There are lots of reviews out there for “Lost You” and I am only one reviewer thus I urge you all to look at other people’s reviews for this novel as I appear to be the outlier.
This was another buddy read with Kaceey.
Thank you to NetGalley, Crown Publishing and Haylen Beck for an arc of this novel in exchange for an honest review.
Published on Goodreads and Netgalley on 9.30.19.
July 20, 2019
Thanks to Netgalley and Crown Publishing for a digital galley in exchange for an honest review.
The type of suspense thriller that kept me glued to my seat, but also making me constantly change my mind as to where I should place my empathy.
A relaxing vacation at a resort. A single mother. A three year old child goes missing. A devastating confrontation. How did this all happen?
Humankind and their secrets! Am I right? Main protagonist, Libby certainly held me in her grasp even if I did feel completely different about her by the end of the story. This is one of those books where most of the novel will give readers the backstory as the beginning of the novel gives the end.
Goodreads review published 19/07/19
Publication Date 06/08/19
The type of suspense thriller that kept me glued to my seat, but also making me constantly change my mind as to where I should place my empathy.
A relaxing vacation at a resort. A single mother. A three year old child goes missing. A devastating confrontation. How did this all happen?
Humankind and their secrets! Am I right? Main protagonist, Libby certainly held me in her grasp even if I did feel completely different about her by the end of the story. This is one of those books where most of the novel will give readers the backstory as the beginning of the novel gives the end.
Goodreads review published 19/07/19
Publication Date 06/08/19
November 10, 2019
The premise for this novel sounded interesting. I had always wondered what would drive a woman to agree to be a surrogate mother. I know of course that infertility and the deep desire to have a baby would make a woman choose to use a surrogate. What I wasn’t prepared for was the fact that I didn’t like any of these characters.
Libby is a woman who has tried for many years to get pregnant. After ten years of trying and 3 miscarriages she deeply desires a baby, at any cost. This is where believability comes into play. Throughout the book I saw how this woman became incredibly obsessive, manipulative and entirely selfish. She didn’t care about her husband, the surrogate mother, even what would be good for the child. She was completely unlikable and quite unbelievable.
Anna is the down and out young woman who agrees to be a surrogate mother. Her friend Betsy sees an ad in a local paper willing to pay $500 just to interview women. When she first answers the ad from the Schaeffer-Holdt Clinic she isn’t quite sure what this is all about. She quickly begins to understand what she will have to do, allow herself to be inseminated, bear a child and then give it up. She desperately needs money and $75,000 is enough money to entice her to sign away her unborn baby.
The novel starts at the end of the story and then we are swept back to the beginning and follow these two women, both of whom are deeply disturbed. Libby knows that she has gone too far in her determination to have this child and Anna knew what she was getting into when she signed the numerous contracts.
Into this mix we meet Mr. Kovak, an ex-military man who is the intermediary between the clinic, Libby and Anna. He keeps incredibly close records and checks on Anna’s progress. He is willing to use any type of influence even physical force to keep the woman on track for delivery of the baby. Several times Libby has doubts about what she is doing but when the baby is finally born she is sure that she can’t give him up.
I think if the characters were more believable this may have been a better story. It is a page turner but I constantly felt that none of this could possibly happen. The author states in her notes “While the story presents some questions about the commercial exploitation of women and those people who have no other path to parenthood, and the legal uncertainty they often face, the author fully recognizes the good done by surrogate mothers around the world”
I don’t think I can recommend this book simply because it is a page turner. Please also read a variety of reviews as there are some people who love this novel.
I received an ARC of this novel from the publisher through NetGalley.
Libby is a woman who has tried for many years to get pregnant. After ten years of trying and 3 miscarriages she deeply desires a baby, at any cost. This is where believability comes into play. Throughout the book I saw how this woman became incredibly obsessive, manipulative and entirely selfish. She didn’t care about her husband, the surrogate mother, even what would be good for the child. She was completely unlikable and quite unbelievable.
Anna is the down and out young woman who agrees to be a surrogate mother. Her friend Betsy sees an ad in a local paper willing to pay $500 just to interview women. When she first answers the ad from the Schaeffer-Holdt Clinic she isn’t quite sure what this is all about. She quickly begins to understand what she will have to do, allow herself to be inseminated, bear a child and then give it up. She desperately needs money and $75,000 is enough money to entice her to sign away her unborn baby.
The novel starts at the end of the story and then we are swept back to the beginning and follow these two women, both of whom are deeply disturbed. Libby knows that she has gone too far in her determination to have this child and Anna knew what she was getting into when she signed the numerous contracts.
Into this mix we meet Mr. Kovak, an ex-military man who is the intermediary between the clinic, Libby and Anna. He keeps incredibly close records and checks on Anna’s progress. He is willing to use any type of influence even physical force to keep the woman on track for delivery of the baby. Several times Libby has doubts about what she is doing but when the baby is finally born she is sure that she can’t give him up.
I think if the characters were more believable this may have been a better story. It is a page turner but I constantly felt that none of this could possibly happen. The author states in her notes “While the story presents some questions about the commercial exploitation of women and those people who have no other path to parenthood, and the legal uncertainty they often face, the author fully recognizes the good done by surrogate mothers around the world”
I don’t think I can recommend this book simply because it is a page turner. Please also read a variety of reviews as there are some people who love this novel.
I received an ARC of this novel from the publisher through NetGalley.
September 18, 2019
This thriller is totally forgettable. I’m sad because I really enjoyed the first chapter of this book when I did the try a chapter book tag, and I thought the premise of this story was so interesting: a woman loses her son and then another woman finds him and claims she’s his mother.
The first 100 pages of this book are decent and I flew through them, but then after that the story changes and veers off in another direction that I wasn’t expecting it to, but in a bad way. It ruined the momentum that the book had going and it became very predictable and boring and cliche after that for me.
Even though it has a very promising start, I found the rest of the story to be incredibly underwhelming unfortunately.
The first 100 pages of this book are decent and I flew through them, but then after that the story changes and veers off in another direction that I wasn’t expecting it to, but in a bad way. It ruined the momentum that the book had going and it became very predictable and boring and cliche after that for me.
Even though it has a very promising start, I found the rest of the story to be incredibly underwhelming unfortunately.
March 11, 2019
Lost You by Haylen Beck was a mediocre read for me.
As you may all know... it's pretty darn hard for me to rate a 4-5 star for my thrillers. I feel like the plot was something that I've seen before and it wasn't an over the top amazing story for me.
This was interesting with the dark side of surrogacy and the toll that it can take on women. I can't imagine how hard that would be! My heart really was sad for both Anna and Libby. The ending wrapped up way too nicely for me and I wasn't impressed at all.
The plot also had a bit unnecessary filter/backstory that could have been taken out to enhance the "meat."
Towards the end... the writing was just really a bit boring to me and I just wanted to finish already. I ended up skimming the last few chapters to get to the end.
Overall, 3 stars for me.
Thank you to Netgalley and Crown Publishing for the arc in exchange for an honest review.
Published to Goodreads: 3/10/19
Publication date: 8/6/19
As you may all know... it's pretty darn hard for me to rate a 4-5 star for my thrillers. I feel like the plot was something that I've seen before and it wasn't an over the top amazing story for me.
This was interesting with the dark side of surrogacy and the toll that it can take on women. I can't imagine how hard that would be! My heart really was sad for both Anna and Libby. The ending wrapped up way too nicely for me and I wasn't impressed at all.
The plot also had a bit unnecessary filter/backstory that could have been taken out to enhance the "meat."
Towards the end... the writing was just really a bit boring to me and I just wanted to finish already. I ended up skimming the last few chapters to get to the end.
Overall, 3 stars for me.
Thank you to Netgalley and Crown Publishing for the arc in exchange for an honest review.
Published to Goodreads: 3/10/19
Publication date: 8/6/19
July 29, 2019
I would probably rate this novel more of a 3.5. A family wanting a child pays for a surrogate mother who later steals her back. I felt like both women were a little touched in the head and did not enjoy this novel as much as I thought I would. Still, a pretty good read.
June 24, 2019
Lost You by Haylen Beck was so much more than I had expected! A story about a missing child right - yes but there is so much more to it than that. It was a total surprise the turn that this book took and it was fascinating! I did not want to put this book down and read it very quickly. From missing children, deep dark secrets, surrogacy, obsession and so much more, this book had it all. I highly recommend this book for lovers of twisty storylines.
Libby takes her 3 year old son Ethan on a well deserved holiday. She starts to relax and enjoy herself for the first time in a very long time and that is when disaster strikes. Ethan thinks that it is funny to run into the elevator before his mum and start pressing the buttons. One night the doors close and Ethan disappears. A frantic search with hotel security finds him on CCTV with another woman - who claims to be his mother. This then begins the back story that you will not believe.
Thanks to Netgalley and Random House UK, Vintage Publishing for my advanced copy of this book to read. All opinions are my own and are in no way biased.
Libby takes her 3 year old son Ethan on a well deserved holiday. She starts to relax and enjoy herself for the first time in a very long time and that is when disaster strikes. Ethan thinks that it is funny to run into the elevator before his mum and start pressing the buttons. One night the doors close and Ethan disappears. A frantic search with hotel security finds him on CCTV with another woman - who claims to be his mother. This then begins the back story that you will not believe.
Thanks to Netgalley and Random House UK, Vintage Publishing for my advanced copy of this book to read. All opinions are my own and are in no way biased.
March 17, 2019
I received a free e-copy of Lost You by Haylen Beck from NetGalley for my honest review.
I loved how this book started out. Throws you right in and then we go back to the beginning of the story with with the story of Anna. Anna is working as a waitress but gets let go due to the business not doing so well. Anna then struggles to get a job and is financially strapped. Her friend who still has her job at the diner comes across a job in the paper and that is when everything changes.
Anna decides to take a job being a surrogate mother for another couple who live in another state. The couple in the other state are aware that this is illegal in their state but the firm they hire says it is legal because they do all the transactions in the state the mother is in and watch over the surrogate mother through the whole process.
Things continually change with the other family's heated and emotional problems, relationship issues and so much more. Anna, is also finding she is growing to love this little "butterfly" in her belly. Now she wants to keep the baby but the man in charge of watching over just won't have it. What lengths will this man go to to make her stay committed to her contract? You can only imagine.
The fight over this child thickens and so many lives are at stake. I really like this book to start off with, even with the unlikable characters. As the book went on though, I found myself just sitting and reading and saying "REALLY", come on. Just some very unbelievable things but I do appreciate the opportunity to read it.
I loved how this book started out. Throws you right in and then we go back to the beginning of the story with with the story of Anna. Anna is working as a waitress but gets let go due to the business not doing so well. Anna then struggles to get a job and is financially strapped. Her friend who still has her job at the diner comes across a job in the paper and that is when everything changes.
Anna decides to take a job being a surrogate mother for another couple who live in another state. The couple in the other state are aware that this is illegal in their state but the firm they hire says it is legal because they do all the transactions in the state the mother is in and watch over the surrogate mother through the whole process.
Things continually change with the other family's heated and emotional problems, relationship issues and so much more. Anna, is also finding she is growing to love this little "butterfly" in her belly. Now she wants to keep the baby but the man in charge of watching over just won't have it. What lengths will this man go to to make her stay committed to her contract? You can only imagine.
The fight over this child thickens and so many lives are at stake. I really like this book to start off with, even with the unlikable characters. As the book went on though, I found myself just sitting and reading and saying "REALLY", come on. Just some very unbelievable things but I do appreciate the opportunity to read it.
June 7, 2020
Emotional and gut-wrenching! Grab your Kleenex and get ready for a good cry.
This book covers so much...surrogacy, infertility, rich vs. poor, betrayal, manipulation and much more. It’s a psychological thriller that reveals what one woman will do to get a baby, and another will do to keep her baby.
I received this book through a #GoodreadsGiveaway and Haylen Beck is a new-to-me author. He’s on my radar now!
Thank you to Goodreads, Haylen Beck and Crown Publishing Group, for this free digital ARC in exchange for my honest opinion!
My Rating: 4 ⭐️’s
Published: August 6th 2019 by Crown Publishing Group (NY)
Pages: 309
Recommend: Yes
@HaylenBeck @stuartneville @goodreads
#psychologicalthriller #GoodreadsGiveaway
My reviews can also be found:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/profile/amz...
Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/takemeaway21
BN.com, BookBub, Pinterest
More on the author: http://www.haylenbeck.com
This book covers so much...surrogacy, infertility, rich vs. poor, betrayal, manipulation and much more. It’s a psychological thriller that reveals what one woman will do to get a baby, and another will do to keep her baby.
I received this book through a #GoodreadsGiveaway and Haylen Beck is a new-to-me author. He’s on my radar now!
Thank you to Goodreads, Haylen Beck and Crown Publishing Group, for this free digital ARC in exchange for my honest opinion!
My Rating: 4 ⭐️’s
Published: August 6th 2019 by Crown Publishing Group (NY)
Pages: 309
Recommend: Yes
@HaylenBeck @stuartneville @goodreads
#psychologicalthriller #GoodreadsGiveaway
My reviews can also be found:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/profile/amz...
Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/takemeaway21
BN.com, BookBub, Pinterest
More on the author: http://www.haylenbeck.com
June 27, 2019
Having featured in my top 10 thrillers of last year I was hoping Lost You would live up to the extraordinarily exciting Here and Gone, and although it isn't quite as good it will likely feature in my top books of the year. Single parent Libby treats her and her 4-year-old son Ethan to an all-inclusive vacation after a difficult year. Having turned her back for merely seconds she realises that cheeky Ethan has boarded the elevator and pressed all of the buttons. She frantically sprints from one floor to the next but can't find him anywhere. Terrifyingly, CCTV shows him walking hand in hand with a complete stranger. Naturally, Libby is going out of her mind with worry knowing that the first hours are absolutely crucial in childhood abductions but she is too distraught to really help the police in a meaningful way.
What follows is a tense, action-packed race against the clock and when we learn the reason for Libby falling to pieces so quickly — she struggled to become pregnant and eventually used a surrogacy clinic to provide her with a child — you can't help but feel for her. There is an emotional exploration of motherhood, vulnerability, surrogacy and the potential for those desperate for a family to become involved in a less than kosher enterprise. It is a cross between a thriller and family drama but touches on profound, heart-wrenching topical issues. I cannot recommend this highly enough if you appreciate thought-provoking real-world problems considered through the eyes of relatable and believable fictional characters. This scenario is any parents worst nightmare and it is depicted in a compelling and sensitive fashion. Many thanks to Harvill Secker for an ARC.
What follows is a tense, action-packed race against the clock and when we learn the reason for Libby falling to pieces so quickly — she struggled to become pregnant and eventually used a surrogacy clinic to provide her with a child — you can't help but feel for her. There is an emotional exploration of motherhood, vulnerability, surrogacy and the potential for those desperate for a family to become involved in a less than kosher enterprise. It is a cross between a thriller and family drama but touches on profound, heart-wrenching topical issues. I cannot recommend this highly enough if you appreciate thought-provoking real-world problems considered through the eyes of relatable and believable fictional characters. This scenario is any parents worst nightmare and it is depicted in a compelling and sensitive fashion. Many thanks to Harvill Secker for an ARC.
April 15, 2019
Lost You by Haylen Beck was a fast paced psychological thriller that I couldn't put down and read in one sitting.
The story of two women fighting over a child each claiming to be the child's mother. This book took me on a journey of poverty, infertility, surrogacy, manipulation and greed.
I really enjoyed reading this book and I will be looking out for more books by this author.
Thank you to NetGalley and Random House UK, Vintage Publishing for my e-copy in exchange for an honest review.
The story of two women fighting over a child each claiming to be the child's mother. This book took me on a journey of poverty, infertility, surrogacy, manipulation and greed.
I really enjoyed reading this book and I will be looking out for more books by this author.
Thank you to NetGalley and Random House UK, Vintage Publishing for my e-copy in exchange for an honest review.
July 31, 2019
Woo, child. Haylen Beck, Haylen Beck, Haylen Beck. I don't want to roast your upcoming "mommy suspense" novel,
Lost You
, and I promised myself this year to be more constructive with my less than stellar reviews, but I just did not enjoy this one. Beck's previous release, Here and Gone had the same "mommy suspense" theme, but the action really was jam packed. While I was reading
Lost You
, it started out very strong and I read the first 100 pages very quickly, but then the timeline changes out of nowhere and stunts any of the story's progression. It's like running as fast as you can, but then you hit a brick wall out of nowhere. While the writing continues to be perfection, the story gravitated towards the realm of predictability. I think
Lost You
will still be a perfect fit for readers who want a quick thriller without all the mess. I just am unsure if I will continue my blogging journey with this author.
Read
May 24, 2020
August 11, 2019
A gut-wrenching, compulsive read of two women’s obsession to have a child.
SUMMARY
Three years ago, Anna is an out of work waitress and in need of money to make ends meet. She explored an advertisement stating “Financial opportunity for healthy women aged 21 to 35. Call this number 24/7 for details.” Anna’s friend Betsy encourage her to make the call. The company was willing to pay her $500 just for answering a few questions and no obligation or commitment required. The Schaeffer-Holdt Clinic is looking for surrogate mothers, and Anna is a perfect candidate. If she agrees to participate she would make $75,000. It would be hard to do, but that money would change her life. She agreed and signed the contract. She was committed up until she felt the butterflies in her stomach.
Libby has had a rough few years. She is now a single mother who needs a vacation. She’s headed to a luxury resort in Naples, Florida with her three-year-old adopted son Ethan. Libby feels out of place in such a nice hotel. Ethan loves playing in the pool and is equally enthralled with the buttons on the elevator. The first two days of vacation were perfect. On the third evening, Ethan runs ahead and pushes the elevator buttons before Libby can catch up with him. The elevator takes off. As Libby races the elevator, up the stairs, her worst fears come to pass. Ethan has disappeared.
REVIEW
LOST YOU is a gut-wrenching, compulsive read. One mother is being economically forced to surrogacy and one woman has lost her adopted child at a hotel. And what comes between these two events will have you on the edge of your seat. The writing is smartly structured and goes back and forth in time to reveal a story of two women whose lives spin out of control. Both Libby and Anna struggle with self esteem, and their obsession with being a mother. LOST YOU is fast-paced, easy-to-read and packed with surprising twists.
The story is an emotional gripping tale of surrogacy, a missing child, motherhood, adoption, and obsession. Haylen Beck is the pseudonym of Edgar Award-nominated author Stuart Neville, whose crime fiction has won the Los Angeles Times Book Prize. Beck’s first gut-wrenching novel was HERE and GONE(2017). Thanks to Netgalley, Crown Publishing and Haylen Beck for an advance reading copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Publisher Crown Publishing
Published August 6, 2019
Review www.bluestockingreviews.com
SUMMARY
Three years ago, Anna is an out of work waitress and in need of money to make ends meet. She explored an advertisement stating “Financial opportunity for healthy women aged 21 to 35. Call this number 24/7 for details.” Anna’s friend Betsy encourage her to make the call. The company was willing to pay her $500 just for answering a few questions and no obligation or commitment required. The Schaeffer-Holdt Clinic is looking for surrogate mothers, and Anna is a perfect candidate. If she agrees to participate she would make $75,000. It would be hard to do, but that money would change her life. She agreed and signed the contract. She was committed up until she felt the butterflies in her stomach.
Libby has had a rough few years. She is now a single mother who needs a vacation. She’s headed to a luxury resort in Naples, Florida with her three-year-old adopted son Ethan. Libby feels out of place in such a nice hotel. Ethan loves playing in the pool and is equally enthralled with the buttons on the elevator. The first two days of vacation were perfect. On the third evening, Ethan runs ahead and pushes the elevator buttons before Libby can catch up with him. The elevator takes off. As Libby races the elevator, up the stairs, her worst fears come to pass. Ethan has disappeared.
REVIEW
LOST YOU is a gut-wrenching, compulsive read. One mother is being economically forced to surrogacy and one woman has lost her adopted child at a hotel. And what comes between these two events will have you on the edge of your seat. The writing is smartly structured and goes back and forth in time to reveal a story of two women whose lives spin out of control. Both Libby and Anna struggle with self esteem, and their obsession with being a mother. LOST YOU is fast-paced, easy-to-read and packed with surprising twists.
The story is an emotional gripping tale of surrogacy, a missing child, motherhood, adoption, and obsession. Haylen Beck is the pseudonym of Edgar Award-nominated author Stuart Neville, whose crime fiction has won the Los Angeles Times Book Prize. Beck’s first gut-wrenching novel was HERE and GONE(2017). Thanks to Netgalley, Crown Publishing and Haylen Beck for an advance reading copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Publisher Crown Publishing
Published August 6, 2019
Review www.bluestockingreviews.com
April 29, 2021
Thanks to Netgalley for this book and so sorry I only now got to it.
When I finished this book I had the same feeling I have when I finish an over large dessert. It was an indulgence and it left me feeling a little sick. I don’t read a lot of thrillers and once again I know why. This book was very much in the thriller category, heavy on plot and action with cardboard characters who make decisions that often seem ridiculous at worse and naive at best. In this story the action begins with a scene of a woman on a roof with a child threatening to jump. There are a few chapters around this present timeline that raise multiple questions the reader assumes answers to based on incomplete information and then the story jumps back in time to revel how the characters got to the opening scene situation.
What I liked: intriguing story that kept me reading. Interesting premise with a medical slant. Good pacing. Tight plotting—few unanswered questions of dangling plot lines. Good twist I did not see coming. Good use of peripheral situations to present red herrings.
What I didn’t like: Writing was all tell and very little show. The characters rarely felt real to me and very difficult to picture in my mind. The two most central characters are women. Their actions in this story made both seem cruel, unthinking, often hysterical and without any self knowledge. Especially at the end I felt sad at how these characters and their situations had been exploited.
The character’s actions felt cliché, even with an interesting twist (all decent thrillers need this) yet the character’s decisions and actions were quite “thriller” predicable.
So my stars are: 1 for plotting
1 for story premise
½ pacing
And ½ for twist
3 total making it an Ok read but personally I ultimately hated how it framed women, pregnancy and motherhood. All the women came out looking bad and the only strong male character was less than despicable and the ultimate good guy. But actually there were not any likeable characters, no one to root for--so I subtracted a star for the sick feeling and was left with 2. Not recommending it.
When I finished this book I had the same feeling I have when I finish an over large dessert. It was an indulgence and it left me feeling a little sick. I don’t read a lot of thrillers and once again I know why. This book was very much in the thriller category, heavy on plot and action with cardboard characters who make decisions that often seem ridiculous at worse and naive at best. In this story the action begins with a scene of a woman on a roof with a child threatening to jump. There are a few chapters around this present timeline that raise multiple questions the reader assumes answers to based on incomplete information and then the story jumps back in time to revel how the characters got to the opening scene situation.
What I liked: intriguing story that kept me reading. Interesting premise with a medical slant. Good pacing. Tight plotting—few unanswered questions of dangling plot lines. Good twist I did not see coming. Good use of peripheral situations to present red herrings.
What I didn’t like: Writing was all tell and very little show. The characters rarely felt real to me and very difficult to picture in my mind. The two most central characters are women. Their actions in this story made both seem cruel, unthinking, often hysterical and without any self knowledge. Especially at the end I felt sad at how these characters and their situations had been exploited.
The character’s actions felt cliché, even with an interesting twist (all decent thrillers need this) yet the character’s decisions and actions were quite “thriller” predicable.
So my stars are: 1 for plotting
1 for story premise
½ pacing
And ½ for twist
3 total making it an Ok read but personally I ultimately hated how it framed women, pregnancy and motherhood. All the women came out looking bad and the only strong male character was less than despicable and the ultimate good guy. But actually there were not any likeable characters, no one to root for--so I subtracted a star for the sick feeling and was left with 2. Not recommending it.
March 17, 2019
I was the BIGGEST fan of Here and Gone so to say I was excitable about the next novel from Haylen Beck aka Stuart Neville would be putting it mildly.
Lost You is excellent once more, a psychological thriller that moves at a perfectly formed pace, keeping you hooked into every single moment of the desperate hunt for a missing child and an emotionally charged back story which informs that event.
You may think you know what’s coming but ultimately there’s no path of least resistance here, it is an edgy narrative that is utterly gripping from first page to heart stopping last. The central premise is cleverly woven into the wider story with thought provoking intelligence whilst still creating a thrill ride of a read which is easily devoured in one sitting.
Loved it. I love a good thriller and I love a good thriller with a dark, rapidly beating passionate heart even more.
Recommended.
Lost You is excellent once more, a psychological thriller that moves at a perfectly formed pace, keeping you hooked into every single moment of the desperate hunt for a missing child and an emotionally charged back story which informs that event.
You may think you know what’s coming but ultimately there’s no path of least resistance here, it is an edgy narrative that is utterly gripping from first page to heart stopping last. The central premise is cleverly woven into the wider story with thought provoking intelligence whilst still creating a thrill ride of a read which is easily devoured in one sitting.
Loved it. I love a good thriller and I love a good thriller with a dark, rapidly beating passionate heart even more.
Recommended.
September 17, 2019
Single mom Libby decides to splurge on herself for once and takes her 3-year old son for 5-days to a lush resort in Florida. While lounging by the pool, Libby meets an older married couple—Gerry and Charles—and Libby really hits it off with them. After a dinner out with the couple, Libby loses sight of Ethan inside an elevator, sending Libby into an immediate panic. When Libby and the hotel staff don’t immediately find Ethan within the hotel, the police are called. There’s reason to believe there’s been fowl play and that someone may be targeting Libby’s little boy. And Libby worries that her past is finally coming back to haunt her…
Libby has been desperately trying to put her past behind her and move forward with her life, even starting a new career as a novelist. But over 3-years ago, Libby made a mistake that is coming back to bite her in full force. And now she just may lose her son because of it.
Lost You is Haylen Beck’s latest fast-paced thriller release. I went into this story blind and I’m so happy I did because I think that furthered my enjoyment of this book. This book centers around pregnancy, mothers, a missing child—all things I love in a thriller. As the story progresses, we realize our main character is unreliable and we have a hard time deciding who to trust. I like books where we can’t decide who is good and who is evil—and that’s certainly the case here! I really enjoyed this new-to-me author and highly recommend this book. 4/5 stars.
Libby has been desperately trying to put her past behind her and move forward with her life, even starting a new career as a novelist. But over 3-years ago, Libby made a mistake that is coming back to bite her in full force. And now she just may lose her son because of it.
Lost You is Haylen Beck’s latest fast-paced thriller release. I went into this story blind and I’m so happy I did because I think that furthered my enjoyment of this book. This book centers around pregnancy, mothers, a missing child—all things I love in a thriller. As the story progresses, we realize our main character is unreliable and we have a hard time deciding who to trust. I like books where we can’t decide who is good and who is evil—and that’s certainly the case here! I really enjoyed this new-to-me author and highly recommend this book. 4/5 stars.
July 27, 2019
This book was completely different to what I thought it would be and in a very good way. The story was excellent. I was completely hooked and desperate to know what happens. The characters were all really interesting and the story was very well written. I can’t wait to read more books from this author. I definitely recommend this. It’s easily one of my favourite books.
September 20, 2019
Libby, a single mom to Ethan, has worked for and planned for a much needed vacation for so long. Finally she is able to relax just a little but, in a moment of inattention, Ethan wanders into an elevator before Libby can reach him. When the elevator stops and the doors open, Ethan is gone. What follows is one of the twistiest, strangest, maze that I've ever read - and I LOVED it! I swear that I kept reading primarily for the fact that I had no idea what was really going throughout the majority of the book. If that's bad, I assure it was not. The author has meant for you, the reader, to be a bit on the wrong foot and unbalanced while reading this thriller in order for you to feel the anxiety, the confusion that the characters are experiencing. It works! I had no idea how the book would conclude until the very last paragraph of the very last page! I don't recommend that this become a gimmick because it could get old really quickly, but for Lost You, it works very well! If you like suspenseful, edge-of-your-seat thrillers then you will enjoy Lost You!
December 28, 2019
Imagine... your young child gets on an elevator the doors close and he is gone. This was a provocative thriller that took a look at how far a mother is willing to go for her child. Libby is on a much-needed vacation with her young son Ethan when he goes missing. When she sees video of the woman who took Ethan she realizes that her past has caught up with her. This is a dark story that focuses on motherhood, surrogacy, betrayal, and secrets. This was a story of two women struggling with two different demons. A story that will have you changing your opinion from page to page. Thought-provoking and twisted. Halen Beck really made me think with this one and I’m still not certain exactly what I think about the end?
*** Big thanks to Crown for my copy of this book ***
*** Big thanks to Crown for my copy of this book ***
June 27, 2019
Having featured in my top 10 thrillers of last year I was hoping Lost You would live up to the extraordinarily exciting Here and Gone, and although it isn't quite as good it will likely feature in my top books of the year. Single parent Libby treats her and her 4-year-old son Ethan to an all-inclusive vacation after a difficult year. Having turned her back for merely seconds she realises that cheeky Ethan has boarded the elevator and pressed all of the buttons. She frantically sprints from one floor to the next but can't find him anywhere. Terrifyingly, CCTV shows him walking hand in hand with a complete stranger. Naturally, Libby is going out of her mind with worry knowing that the first hours are absolutely crucial in childhood abductions but she is too distraught to really help the police in a meaningful way.
What follows is a tense, action-packed race against the clock and when we learn the reason for Libby falling to pieces so quickly — she struggled to become pregnant and eventually used a surrogacy clinic to provide her with a child — you can't help but feel for her. There is an emotional exploration of motherhood, vulnerability, surrogacy and the potential for those desperate for a family to become involved in a less than kosher enterprise. It is a cross between a thriller and family drama but touches on profound, heart-wrenching topical issues. I cannot recommend this highly enough if you appreciate thought-provoking real-world problems considered through the eyes of relatable and believable fictional characters. This scenario is any parents worst nightmare and it is depicted in a compelling and sensitive fashion. Many thanks to Harvill Secker for an ARC.
What follows is a tense, action-packed race against the clock and when we learn the reason for Libby falling to pieces so quickly — she struggled to become pregnant and eventually used a surrogacy clinic to provide her with a child — you can't help but feel for her. There is an emotional exploration of motherhood, vulnerability, surrogacy and the potential for those desperate for a family to become involved in a less than kosher enterprise. It is a cross between a thriller and family drama but touches on profound, heart-wrenching topical issues. I cannot recommend this highly enough if you appreciate thought-provoking real-world problems considered through the eyes of relatable and believable fictional characters. This scenario is any parents worst nightmare and it is depicted in a compelling and sensitive fashion. Many thanks to Harvill Secker for an ARC.
June 21, 2019
I really enjoyed Haylen Becks first novel Here and Gone so, I was excited when I received a copy of Lost you.
Libby is on a well-earned break with her son Ethan. When her child goes missing. First, she thinks that he is somewhere on the resort. But when she talks to the hotel’s security team and they show her camera footage she realises that Ethan has been abducted.
Years previously, Libby is so desperate for a child but, she cannot have one herself. She decides to hire a surrogate with the disapproval of her husband Mason. He prefers to adopt.
Then there is Anna, she has just lost her job. She has no money and nowhere to go. She is estranged from her family and she sees and advert for a job with good money. It turns out to be a job for a Surrogate. Anna has had no experience with children. But when the baby grows, she decides that she wants to keep the baby.
This was a great unputdownable thriller, with great characters and lots of twists and turns. Showing how desperate one can get to have a child. The controversial and legality of surrogacy and the subject of adoption. 4 stars from me.
Libby is on a well-earned break with her son Ethan. When her child goes missing. First, she thinks that he is somewhere on the resort. But when she talks to the hotel’s security team and they show her camera footage she realises that Ethan has been abducted.
Years previously, Libby is so desperate for a child but, she cannot have one herself. She decides to hire a surrogate with the disapproval of her husband Mason. He prefers to adopt.
Then there is Anna, she has just lost her job. She has no money and nowhere to go. She is estranged from her family and she sees and advert for a job with good money. It turns out to be a job for a Surrogate. Anna has had no experience with children. But when the baby grows, she decides that she wants to keep the baby.
This was a great unputdownable thriller, with great characters and lots of twists and turns. Showing how desperate one can get to have a child. The controversial and legality of surrogacy and the subject of adoption. 4 stars from me.
June 26, 2019
Four twisty, compulsive, dramatic stars to Lost You!
Getting away to the beach is the refreshing break that single mom Libby needs. She escapes to the beach resort with her three year old son Ethan for some fun in the sun. This relaxing vacation has been just what the doctor ordered- until Ethan slips into the elevator and disappears before Libby can reach him. Hotel security footage shows a woman leading Ethan away by the hand. They find the woman in the hotel but she refuses to let Ethan go and says “I’m his mother.”
This is one wild ride! I read it in two sittings, its a fast moving story that leaves the reader quickly turning pages. Make no mistake, this is a twisted story that is heartbreaking for all involved. Major props to the author for invoking feelings of empathy for an incredibly unlikable character. For me, Lost You was ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars. Thank you @crownpublishing for this advance reader in exchange for my honest review.
Getting away to the beach is the refreshing break that single mom Libby needs. She escapes to the beach resort with her three year old son Ethan for some fun in the sun. This relaxing vacation has been just what the doctor ordered- until Ethan slips into the elevator and disappears before Libby can reach him. Hotel security footage shows a woman leading Ethan away by the hand. They find the woman in the hotel but she refuses to let Ethan go and says “I’m his mother.”
This is one wild ride! I read it in two sittings, its a fast moving story that leaves the reader quickly turning pages. Make no mistake, this is a twisted story that is heartbreaking for all involved. Major props to the author for invoking feelings of empathy for an incredibly unlikable character. For me, Lost You was ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars. Thank you @crownpublishing for this advance reader in exchange for my honest review.
August 14, 2019
3.5⭐
I was very intrigued by Lost You in the beginning, and I was excited to see where this one was going to go. Although the story sounded like it was headed in a sort of predictable direction, I still wanted to find out how it got there.
The synopsis of this book (which is what caught my attention) is really only about the beginning and end of the book. The actual story that makes up most of the book is different than what was presented, and this was frustrating to me. The story was fine, but I don't like feeling like I signed up for one thing, and get something else.
That being said, it did hold my interest, and I still wanted to find out what happened. I was entertained, but I don't know that this will be a super memorable story from me. I would probably still try another book by Haylen Beck, though.
I was very intrigued by Lost You in the beginning, and I was excited to see where this one was going to go. Although the story sounded like it was headed in a sort of predictable direction, I still wanted to find out how it got there.
The synopsis of this book (which is what caught my attention) is really only about the beginning and end of the book. The actual story that makes up most of the book is different than what was presented, and this was frustrating to me. The story was fine, but I don't like feeling like I signed up for one thing, and get something else.
That being said, it did hold my interest, and I still wanted to find out what happened. I was entertained, but I don't know that this will be a super memorable story from me. I would probably still try another book by Haylen Beck, though.
December 24, 2018
I wish to thank NetGalley and Crown Publishing for this compelling, fast-paced, provocative psychological thriller. Two desperate women become involved with a shady agency which matches women longing for a baby with a surrogate. 3.5 stars
Libby is unable to become pregnant and is obsessed with having a child to love. Her husband does not approve of hiring a surrogate but would agree to an adoption. Libby refuses this option and proceeds in obtaining a surrogate by way of an agency operating outside the law.
Anna has been laid off from her work as a waitress and is living in a cold, run-down mobile home. She is very worried about how she will support herself. She answers an ad in the local paper offering generous payment to young, healthy women. On meeting and being interviewed by the agency, she learns that she will be well paid if she agrees to give birth and relinquish the baby.
Since the agency is operating illegally, what recourse does she have if she breaks the agreement and decides to keep the baby? There is a shady employee determined to enforce the agreement when surrogates refuse to give up their babies. How does Libby, the prospective and heartbroken mother react on learning she will not receive the baby she has eagerly hoped for, prepared for, and dreamed about? All documents had been signed by her and fees paid.
As the two women become more desperate and emotionally unhinged, they both make some irrational and bad decisions. I was unable to sympathize or connect with either woman in their plights. I came to feel that the baby boy might be better off without either woman as his mother.
Three years later, Libby is a devoted single mother to her son she calls Ethan. She is on her way to becoming a successful published writer. She is on holiday at a luxurious southern resort with her boy. Anna has tracked her down through the internet and is determined to get her son back through any means necessary. She snatches Ethan. When confronted by the police and hotel security she claims Ethan is her son. They are in a dangerous position. (Not a spoiler since this scene is laid out at the beginning of the book.)
Can there possibly be a happy ending for anyone? This gives an enthralling insight into the hearts and minds of two troubled women. This book would be a quick, popular summer read and should provoke interesting book club discussions.
Libby is unable to become pregnant and is obsessed with having a child to love. Her husband does not approve of hiring a surrogate but would agree to an adoption. Libby refuses this option and proceeds in obtaining a surrogate by way of an agency operating outside the law.
Anna has been laid off from her work as a waitress and is living in a cold, run-down mobile home. She is very worried about how she will support herself. She answers an ad in the local paper offering generous payment to young, healthy women. On meeting and being interviewed by the agency, she learns that she will be well paid if she agrees to give birth and relinquish the baby.
Since the agency is operating illegally, what recourse does she have if she breaks the agreement and decides to keep the baby? There is a shady employee determined to enforce the agreement when surrogates refuse to give up their babies. How does Libby, the prospective and heartbroken mother react on learning she will not receive the baby she has eagerly hoped for, prepared for, and dreamed about? All documents had been signed by her and fees paid.
As the two women become more desperate and emotionally unhinged, they both make some irrational and bad decisions. I was unable to sympathize or connect with either woman in their plights. I came to feel that the baby boy might be better off without either woman as his mother.
Three years later, Libby is a devoted single mother to her son she calls Ethan. She is on her way to becoming a successful published writer. She is on holiday at a luxurious southern resort with her boy. Anna has tracked her down through the internet and is determined to get her son back through any means necessary. She snatches Ethan. When confronted by the police and hotel security she claims Ethan is her son. They are in a dangerous position. (Not a spoiler since this scene is laid out at the beginning of the book.)
Can there possibly be a happy ending for anyone? This gives an enthralling insight into the hearts and minds of two troubled women. This book would be a quick, popular summer read and should provoke interesting book club discussions.
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