“Legend of the Lost Ass” by Karen Winters Schwartz is a wickedly charming on-the-road adventure story with converging past and present plot lines and a host of beguiling characters. It is so well written and beautifully descriptive that even the orange tractor at the center of one of the story lines—Miss Mango—has a personality and sense of presence. And speaking of personality, wait until you meet Queen Bee, the lost ass of the title. The main human characters—Ernesto, Parchue, Luci and Colin—are equally well-developed, eccentric, and wholly captivating. Over it all, there is such a prevailing sense of open-eyed wonder that the book is uplifting and rings with genuine faith and natural humor.
This is, truly, a gem of a book.
In the 1940 story line, Ernesto, a young native villager in British Honduras (now modern-day Belize), takes off for Texas on the trail of his lost American lover. He has never left his tiny village and has no concept of how vast Texas is, or how impossible his task. As he leaves, he takes his cousin’s ass, or donkey, which he later names Queen Bee. Along the way, he meets Parchue, a dark-skinned Garifuna youth from the coast also on a quest to find America, and they decide to travel together—along with Bee. As they are walking to Texas, they have many adventures, which gives the story an exotic road-trip aspect. Though Ernesto and Parchue are diverse in background, physical appearance, and personality, they form an endearing and enduring friendship.
Queen Bee, the “lost ass” isn’t really lost in the traditional sense, though she is lost to her owner when Ernesto borrows her, but the donkey is certainly a scene stealer. Queen Bee is no passive, sweet-natured critter, but a snappish, determined, bold animal who doesn’t put up with much nonsense.
The modern story line begins with a clever construct of miscommunications. Ernesto, now an old man and a successful farmer in Texas, wants to take “Miss Mango,” his large, powerful orange tractor, home to his village to make amends for taking and not returning Queen Bee decades before. But he is too old to do this himself and does not wish to risk hired transport, and so he enlists Luci, his great niece, to drive the tractor from Texas to Belize (at roughly 30 miles per hour). Ernesto offers to hire a man named Jody to help with the long trip. Luci, who has a compelling back story of her own, wants to break out of her well-organized rut, and so agrees. She in turn rather accidently enlists Colin, an agoraphobic but successful author. Accidentally because the text she meant to send to Jody went instead to Colin, who in his imaginative way, envisions a glorious, sexy escapade when he reads Luci’s text and decides to pretend he is Jody. Of course, being agoraphobic, he must get out of his house first, and on a plane, but that’s just the beginning of his many adventures with Luci, Miss Mango, and the long drive across Mexico and Guatemala to Belize. Border crossing are especially tense, but also give rise to a growing appreciation between Luci and Colin of the talents of the other.
The characters are completely delightful and the story exciting, and as an added bonus, the actual sentence-by-sentence writing is superb. The paragraphs shines with phrases like “she was as cool as a yoga instructor laid out on Flexeril” and “Colin was working so hard at trying not to appear nervous that he had no energy left over for nervousness.”
It's worth repeating, this is truly a gem of a book.