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235 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 3, 2020




“What are you wearing under that kilt, my fair Scotsman?”
I laugh. “Not a thing.”
He fans himself, smiling. “I shouldn’t have asked that. We’re only friends.”
My smile fades. I wish I could let myself be so much more to him. “Friends can ask what’s under a kilt.”






“I don't care if you don't love me back. It's okay. I will love you forever, and if it takes you that long to reopen your heart, it's fine. I'm patient. Sometimes."


Today he’s wearing black jeans so tight I can actually make out the outline of his dick. Not that I’m looking. Okay, fuck it, I’m looking.

“If you ever decide you want a boy, I might know someone who would be interested.” He points at himself with a grin on his gorgeous mouth.
I smile, shaking my head. “You are incorrigible, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know what that means, Scottish.”
I chuckle. “Is that what you’re calling me now?”

I’m left with a feeling so warm I could melt. Being friends with Saint is nice. It’s different, and I like it. But I have to make him mine.
I think I might die if I don’t kiss his lips.

I took a lot of customers today, which is good. I can pay my rent next month. Unless I do something stupid like go out and buy a round of shots for everyone. I’ve spent years trying to be the life of the party. I just wanted people to like me. I wanted men and women to want me. But after spending time with Saint, I think I want something different now. I think I want someone to love me.

He told me the rules. Friends only. It’s not his fault if I’m a dumbass pushing for things I can never have. All I can do now is hope he still wants to hang out with me. At this point, I’ll take anything he’ll let me have.
And if that isn’t pathetic, I don’t know what is.

I want to praise him, tell him about how perfect and beautiful and fucking off the charts it is, but there is a dick to be sucked and it ain’t gonna suck itself.

Sweet baby drag queen in a cradle.

“It was absolutely worth the wait.” I stroke his hair. “And not just the time since meeting you. It was worth the entire wait.”
Casper gazes up at me with tears in his eyes. “For me too.”

“You don’t seem like a good bottom.”
He laughs, pulling me into the tub with him. “I’m not, but I’m not against it.”
“Good to know.”
“Now, let’s soak your pretty bottom so Daddy can have a bit more later.”
“Jesus, Saint. You are fucking fire.”


I open my mouth to speak but stop myself as new, foreign words taunt me.
I love you.
How hard would it be to say it? To tell him. I tear my eyes away. It would be as hard as catching stars with your bare hands, counting every grain of sand, or drinking the ocean.

He lifts my hand to his lips and presses a kiss there. Someday I’ll be brave enough to tell him I love him.
Even if it’s the last thing I ever do.


