Calling My Spirit Back

by Elaine Alec

Indigenous Peoples have always carried the knowledge necessary to heal. When our people heal, our families heal, our communities heal and our land will heal. You cannot have one without the other. These stories are teachings, prophecy and protocols shared throughout the years by elders, language speakers, medicine people and helpers. They have been the foundation to individual healing and learning self-love. They teach us how to make good decisions for ourselves and for all other aspects in our lives. When our people were young, they were sent on the land to gather as much experience and knowledge as they could, and when they returned, they would contribute what they learned. I am Syilx and Secwepemc and although many of my teachings come from this place, they also intertwine with indigenous knowledge shared through ceremony from many other nations. People from all backgrounds have embraced concepts from other parts of the world that promote self-love, healing and well-being through practices of discipline and meditation. Very little has been shared about indigenous systems and how it promotes self-love and approach to healing.

Genres: Indigenous, Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography Memoir, Self Help, Spirituality

199 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 26, 2020

About the author

​​wáy x̌ast sx̌əlx̌ʕált

My name is telxnitkw, it translates into “Standing by Water” and was given to me on the day I was born. I am Syilx and Secwepemc although I also have roots with the Colville and Nez Perce nations.

Elaine Alec (she/her) is an author, political advisor, women’s advocate and spiritual thought leader and teacher and is a direct descendant of hereditary chiefs, Pelkamulaxw and Soorimpt.
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For over two decades, Elaine has been leading expert in Indigenous community planning, health advocacy and creating safe spaces utilizing Indigenous approaches and ceremony. She is the author of “Calling My Spirit Back” a book which links an extremely personal examination of lived experience to a much broader overview of serious national sociological concerns, accompanied by tangible steps to approach them.

Alec was a founding member of the Comprehensive Community Planning Mentorship Initiative in British Columbia. She is a founding partner at Alderhill Planning Inc. and is a regular speaker at conferences and workshops on the topic of Indigenous planning, governance, healing and trauma informed approaches in planning.

She is involved in the Sexual Harassment, Advice, Response and Prevention for Work Places Advisory Committee, a board member with the Canadian Centre of Policy Alternatives (CCPA-BC) and recently completed a 3-year term as the Union of BC Indian Chiefs Women’s Representative where she advocated for Indigenous women and girls safety through facilitating safe spaces to plan and drive policy change at various levels of government.
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Elaine resides in Kamloops, British Columbia with her husband Ryan Day and is the proud mom of Kyle Maxakn Alec, Phoenix Maxaknitkw Alec and Teslin Pelkamulaxw Alec.

Reviews

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Thank you, Elaine Alec, for the generous and thoughtful way you’ve shared your story, the teachings that have helped you to heal, and the ways that healing is allowing you to live an authentic, connected, more joyful and very impactful life. Your work is making such a difference in communities and in your family.

The things our Indigenous families have been through, for generations and continuing today, are staggering. But we’re strong and we’ll keep going. I learned from another teacher recently that “the purpose of trauma is healing.” We learn and understand things through our healing processes that we wouldn’t have had access to otherwise. There’s value in the hard things.

I’m taking many things with me from Calling My Spirit Back. One of them is the teaching that I chose my parents and everything that would happen to me before I was born. That there are lessons and value in all of it, and that through my resilience, the person I become is one that is needed in this world. Thank you for writing this book, and I look forward to more!

[Hendrik-Jan Tolboom · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very honest and clear written story of someone who had to deal with the consequences of a childhood between troubled adults. Her goal is to share her story so other people having the same troubles can find a way out, with an emphasis not just on the healing of the individual but also the family, the community. Elaine Alec is an Indigenous woman and her story, the trauma but also the healing is rooted in her community. But that doesn’t mean that this book is only interesting for Indigenous people. On the contrary, for me living in Europe, it was a revelation and a fresh look on issues nowadays

[Alana Peters-Daniels · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elaine speaks through her book to all people that want reassurance that they aren’t alone with their life experiences. I had to stop reading a couple of times to catch my breath. I have read her book twice and plan on rereading again as each time, different pieces speak to me. Reminding me of our Grandparents who always say you can hear the same teachings 100 times, but you learn 100 different things from the same teaching.

[Bree C. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Elaine is a brilliant speaker and teacher who has survived unspeakable tragedies. She uses her wisdom, resilience and ancestral teachings to create safer spaces for many, and this book was filled with gems. I didn't find the writing style as engaging as her speaking but I am glad she has found another format in which to share her knowledge. Thank you, Elaine.

[Cynthia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was really looking forward to reading this memoir… BC Aboriginal Author & activist… unfortunately, it wasn’t quite what I expected.
It delves into her life and growing up, breaking the trauma cycle, briefly talks about her ancestors… but a lot of the book consist of all her accomplishments in the last 15 or so years… accomplishments that she should be very proud of! She’s overcome a lot & worked hard to get to where she is in life. I would have enjoyed it more if she went into more detail about her life as a child & teen. It becomes apparent that there is a piece of her history that she is not quite ready to share with the world… and that’s okay. I just think that, perhaps, this book should have been promoted in a different manner - I thought there would be a lot more insight into trauma & recovery.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is a deeply personal account of overcoming childhood traumas, addictions, and health issues. It is also about what happened as the direct result of a colonial legacy of residential schools and stolen children from families and communities in Canada. It is her story of finding strength in family and community to help build her own family, a career, and purpose in moving forward through healing, resiliency, and courage.

[Kaylie’s Bookshelf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author Elaine Alec bares her soul in her memoir Calling My Spirit Back. I’ve always found reviewing memoirs to be difficult. When someone has put their life out there for others to read in such a personal way, who am I to say whether it is good or not?  However, I’m beyond happy that I’ve had the opportunity to read and review Alec’s memoir because it is truly a phenomenal read. Alec is from the Syilx and Secwepemc Nations and she wrote this memoir to share her trials and tribulations with the world, and to have others use this book as a tool in their own journey through life.

Alec discusses how residential schools impacted her through intergenerational trauma; how her parents’ and grandparents’ traumas affected her; and how getting back to her roots helped shape her into the woman she is today. Alec’s entire life is on display unapologetically, leaving the reader to empathize with everything that she has experienced. Her prose is powerful. She paints picture after picture, showing the way she has lived through so much with an abundance of grace. Mixing heartbreak with happiness, Alec includes a lot of detail around tradition, and how this guided her to finding her spirit after it had been lost for so long. Calling My Spirit Back reminds readers that it is never too late to take a new path in life and learn from their past.

Alec goes beyond telling her own story and gives the reader tools for how to cultivate safe spaces for others in need of finding their spirit. Alec’s four protocols for cultivating a safe space are: promote inclusion, promote validation, promote well-being, and promote freedom. These protocols are tools that readers can use in their daily lives to help make the space around them safe for others.

I’m absolutely honoured that Elaine reached out to see if I would be interested in reading her memoir. I felt a great sense of love while reading her words, and I hope that others find solace in what she has to say. I look forward to seeing what she does next on her journey.

*Thank you to Elaine Alec for this complimentary copy of Calling My Spirit Back!

Originally published on Cloud Lake Literary’s website, link below:

https://www.cloudlakeliterary.ca/blog...

[Cheryl Pope · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a powerful read about a journey of healing from from childhood trauma, adolescent choices and adult addictions to rising above and becoming a successful Indigenous consultant that has a fresh perspective on issues that face our Indigenous communities. Elaine shares many traditional teachings and how she has applied them to her own journey and also to her career in community planning. She has some amazing mentors and I can appreciate the insights that she shared from her mentors.
I found the information on the four necessary conditions required for cultivating safe space and the four protocols for cultivating safe space to be interesting and helpful.
The author chose to be nonlinear when writing about her journey and I enjoyed this style. She weaves her personal story with cultural teachings and her various experiences and positions.

I highly recommend this book both to those who also grew up in Indigenous communities and have had similar experiences and also to those who haven’t because this book provides a perspective and understanding and is an achievement and proof that we are resilient and can find a way forward.

[Kat · Rating 4 out of 5]

A moving story of overcoming childhood trauma and a life of addiction, betrayal, assault. She speaks frequently on generational trauma and how that has affected her own life and the community.

I won't speak much on the content as a non indigenous person, but it was deeply moving and hard to get through.

As for style, it's told in a very disjointed style which I found hard to follow at times. I think I would have found this easier to follow if it were a chronological or theme based format. That being said, I may not understand fully that this is the way stories are told.

Digital copy won in a Goodreads Giveaway.

[Serena · Rating 4 out of 5]

I very much so enjoyed this book, but I didn’t love it as much as I hoped I would. The knowledge, experiences, and journey shared is so powerful but I felt the organization of the book was a little too jumpy in most instances. I also had a hard time with the author’s voice and lack of descriptions. Sometimes it felt like she was sharing things far removed from herself or stating facts rather than discussing and explaining pieces of herself and her experience because of the language and sentencing structures she chooses. Overall I would recommend this book as there is a lot to learn and take away from it and appreciate in its pages.

[Niki Monague · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️

It took me a little longer to get through this book as there were some parts that were very relatable and brought up some feelings and memories from my own upbringing and just needed to take breaks throughout. I expected this to be a quick read as it is only 186 pages but I was proven wrong.

Very well written memoir from Elaine Alec. She speaks about her personal healing journey and the ripple effects this has. “When our people heal, our families heal, our communities heal, and our land will heal. You cannot have one without the other”.

[Trisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book for anyone on a journey of learning about Indigenous Worldviews and community planning. It is a local Okanagan story of trauma, perseverance, and healing.

[Shonna · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Everything we are lives in our language. When our language was taken away in the residential schools, our people lost the connection to who we were.”

I know a lot of settlers, like me, are trying to educate ourselves about the lived experiences of Indigenous peoples and the effects of colonialism on all aspects of society and the land we live on. If you want to understand the intergenerational trauma of residential schools and colonial systems on Indigenous communities and individuals, this book is an essential read.

Elaine Alec is an author, political advisor, women’s advocate and spiritual thought leader She is Syilx and Secwepemc from British Columbia and is the direct descendant of hereditary chiefs.

Her memoir is strikingly vulnerable, raw and honest. By sharing her story, she is undoubtedly helping so many people talk about their own pain and challenges. There can be no healing or reconciliation without truth – Alec is a brave truth-teller. She shares the tools she utilized to work through the challenges in her life and imparts the teachings and knowledge of her ancestors.

I loved reading about the prophecies and teachings of the elders, language speakers, medicine people and helpers in her community. Knowing that so much language, custom and knowledge was destroyed by not allowing Indigenous parents and communities to raise their own children is devastating. Alec powerfully articulates the legacy of residential schools:

“Residential schools taught many of our people that we are inferior. It taught us how to obey and listen. It taught us that we were worthless and no one wanted us and that everything about us was wrong.”

“I think many mainstream Canadians don’t understand that we as Indigenous peoples have lifelong experiences of trauma and pain that we have to work through on a day-to-day basis. There is no understanding that we lack the privilege of not having experiences of trauma and racism.”

I thank Alec for sharing her story with the world.

CW: intergenerational trauma, residential schools, physical abuse, sexual assault, racism, chronic illness, substance abuse

[Amelia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. I felt like I learned and that I have more learning to do.

Alec presents a thoughtful and open autobiography. She mentions at the end of the book how she hoped to catch the nuance of the people in her life, and I felt that she achieved that. No one in the book was presented as entirely evil or as infallible. I really appreciated that with the perspective she had when she wrote the book she was able to look back on people who she probably would have said she "hated" at the times when she was going through difficult times, but was able to see there beauty and their limitations when looking on them in hindsight.

I appreciated her highlighting the ongoing process of healing, and I think that theme is demonstrated with her story throughout the book. We never reach a point where we are perfect and will never hurt ourselves or others again, we must constantly work to honour ourselves and those around us.

I really liked the length of this book, and reflecting on her comments about listening to everyone who comes to the circle and shares in their way whether it is longer than we would like, I feel guilty for appreciating the compactness of this novel. I would like to learn to make more space and time in my life for indigenous perspectives in particular, and the perspectives of everyone in general.

The whole book is full of teachings through her life story. Near the end some of the teachings become more clear. I really appreciated those teachings, and would like to find ways to incorporate indigenous ways of community and leadership into my future endeavours. I am hoping to find some more resources that specifically explain practices of different nations, but I will not let the imperfection of my knowledge stop me from starting in more thoughtful communication.

This book is going to stay on my shelf as a reference for the future.

[Robyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

My friend recommended this book, so I promptly went out and bought it. I put the book on my bookshelf and recently it started calling to me. I am so thankful that I read this book. Elaine Alec shares with vulnerability and truth such an important story and also shares the value of exploring our own stories. Through exploration of childhood experiences and trauma, young adulthood and now, Elaine allowed the reader to experience emotions and an understanding of what she went through. Elaine wrote, "we pick our parents before we are bon. We pick them and everyone that comes into our lives," (p. 1). I truly believe that who crosses our path and ends up in our lives are supposed to be there and so from page one I was invested in this story. Elaine wraps up this book with a call to action for individuals. When we heal the individual we show others how to heal and impact our communities and outwards. Highly recommend reading this book and when you do, lets talk about your take aways.

[RezReader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book. Brings forth the ancestors into the narrative, the teachings and ways of the specific British Columbia interior Salish, and how it applies in modern life-experiences. Another indigenous person can relate because much of the life narratives gets intertwined with original teachings of their people and its applicability to today. This memoir is honest look at what its like to come from the archetypal "rezlife" worldview and takes the reader on a journey of self discovery.

[Juanita · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book resonated with me so much and proved to be incredibly insightful! I’m so proud of you Elaine. You have a way with words, words that help us, heal us, and bring changes within us, and in turn everyone around us. I’m so thankful to be able to learn from your teachings, not just your book, but your social media insights. Elaine is a change maker among us. I just attended her training if you have the opportunity to see Elaine, please take it.

[Shana · Rating 4 out of 5]

“In order to know where we’re going, we have to know where we’ve been.”
I won this as a Kindle Goodreads giveaway.
I found the writing to be an honest and clear look about the difficulty of life as an Indigenous child. I like how she tells stories and is able to move forward showing that it’s possible to create a good solid life because of and despite how it started.

[Melissa Moniz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book, the stories told about the authors life and indigenous culture were so interesting and fun to read about. The author is so good at recalling her experiences and writing them for others to read but there is a lot to take in, in a short amount of time.

[Natalie Giglio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deeply vulnerable, moving and insightful

Elaine’s conveys her story in a compelling and and moving way. This story of resilience culminates in Elaine sharing her knowledge as a community planner and what some of her best practices are.

[Darlene · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an amazing and inspirational book. I feel like I learned so much from it.

[Spencer Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest, smooth-reading story of an awesome contemporary leader. The last few short chapters summarize key values and advice for all.

[Jen R. Smits · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for all.

[Michele Cipressi · Rating 4 out of 5]

An amazing book about the author's journey to healing. Raw, honest and humble, a recommended read for anyone who has dealt with addictions, trauma, loss, and generational trauma.

[Bethany · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a gift. Read it as such. ❤️

[Chantelle Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such an honest and powerfully moving true story/autobiography from Elaine Alec. I was immediately drawn in from the first page. She delivers her story and her experiences with raw emotion and haunting, intimate details. It's a difficult book to put down once you start it, so be prepared to be up half the night reading.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to read a very real and personal account of growing up as an Indigenous person in Canada. From life on the reserve to navigating the convoluted colonial systems of Canada and struggling for recognition - she explores all aspects of being an Indigenous woman in Canada. As she weaves through all the strands of her life, she remains open and honest about her complicated relationship with Canada and other people, including other Indigenous people and especially white people. Despite all the hardships and suffering, she never shies away from taking ownership of her feelings, no matter how difficult it is to face those aspects of herself.

Elaine freely and openly shares valuable and insightful Indigenous knowledge and teachings in this book. If we are truly serious and committed to implementing the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada's Calls to Action, then this book should be on the list of required reading in our Canadian school curriculum, and it should be incorporated into Canadian government onboarding and training at the provincial and federal levels.

[Ash Larnder · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really hit home. Elaine is the same age as my parents, and growing up in the Okanagan region and having been to all of these regions myself, it really hit home to see such a contrasted life so nearby and occurring parallel to that of my family. I appreciated the vulnerable view into the experiences of some of those in my nearby communities and the reminder to be thankful for my privileged youth.

Though I sometimes found it challenging to follow the story timeline, I enjoyed the way the author told her story. Her voice was so evidently portrayed across the pages and you got the sense that each time you started a chapter it was like sitting down with Elaine for coffee and hearing her share about a theme in her life. It felt like we circled round and round her life, getting different pieces of what she went through, rather than just a linear timeline of important life events. I think this parallels how we develop relationships with people over time and hear about their story in pieces as you grow together. I love how the author was able to capture that in a book. Even though I would sometimes be lost of where things landed in the timeline, I had to remind myself that a linear path might be what's familiar but doesn't mean it's the best framework.

[N · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the kind of book that I love so much I don't want it to end. It carries many life lessons, indigenous teachings, community building, love, connection, belonging, hope and so much growth.

The author has the ability to share painful, difficult stories in a way that doesn't feel heavy, instead it creates a connection and a sense of solidarity and being seen.

I would recommend this to anyone working in community building, healing trauma (self and intergenerational), wanting to be a better ally and know more about what does it mean to be an indigenous woman. All this from an open heart and clear mind position.

To Elaine:

Thank you for your openness, honesty, trust and overall community love and care. I appreciate the way you shared your life story and everything you have learned in the way. I admire your ability to be kind with yourself when looking back and reflecting about your life and the many roles you carry with you. I am grateful for your teachings ❤

[Brenda D · Rating 3 out of 5]

Elaine Alec is a remarkable women and this is a candid telling of her traumatic yet resilient life story! The book is not well written (hence the 3.5 stars) as her narrative rushes through events that quite frankly would be unbelievable if the author was not so clearly honest in her telling. After all her struggles and self-learning she ends up in a good place - with family, work, community and positive support that help her to 'live in a good way'!

Highlights that I will take with me: (p.160) "I am doing the best I can with what I know" ... and (pp. 179-180) Excellent 2 page review of Circle Protocols.

[Christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

[I received a Kindle copy via Goodreads giveaway!]

This was a very inspiring and emotional read - what an incredible journey of love and loss, and so much to be learned from it. It's truly amazing where life can take us. Despite reaching low points along the way, a phoenix shall from the ashes.

I did really enjoy the end chapters and summary portion of the book - The 4 protocols for cultivating safe spaces near the end really stuck with me, and I enjoyed reading the "epilogue" from the author.