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Let's talk about the first year of parenting

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Becoming a parent is about so much more than just taking care of a baby – it involves changes in all areas of your life and it can be everything from fantastic and fulfilling to overwhelming and exhausting… sometimes all at once. It can be hard to work out what’s normal and what’s not, about everything from newborn baby behaviour, feeding and sleep, to your postnatal body, mental health, and relationships including who does the chores and who goes back to work and when.

In this warm, reassuring and practical book, Amy Brown talks you through the first year of parenthood, helping you navigate some of the challenges caring for a newborn can bring for both parents. She focusses on you and your needs, while recognising that each family is unique, in a broad discussion that also tackles men’s mental health and dads staying home, and the experiences of single parents and same-sex couples.

The central focus is on making sure you get the information and support you need, whatever your circumstances.

448 pages, Paperback

Published September 24, 2020

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About the author

Amy Brown

7 books14 followers
Professor Amy Brown is based in the Department of Public Health, Policy and Social Sciences at Swansea University in the UK where she is Director of 'LIFT' - the centre for Lactation, Infant Feeding and Translation. With a background in psychology, she first became interested in the many barriers women face when breastfeeding after having her first baby. Three babies and a PhD later she has spent the last fifteen years exploring psychological, cultural and societal barriers to breastfeeding, with an emphasis on understanding how we can shift our perception of breastfeeding from an individual mothering issue, to a wider public health problem.

Professor Brown has published over 100 papers exploring the barriers women face in feeding their baby during the first year. In 2016 she published her first book Breastfeeding Uncovered, followed by Why Starting Solids Matters (2017), The Positive Breastfeeding Book (2018), Informed is Best (2019) and Why Breastfeeding Grief and Trauma Matter (2019).

She is a regular blogger, aiming to change the way we think about breastfeeding, mothering and caring for our babies.

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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
Profile Image for Lydia Smith.
Author 5 books5 followers
December 2, 2020
You can watch my full review of this book on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/YXiUJWe8OFU
This book from Amy Brown talks about looking after your new baby in the first year. It aims to support new parents in the often emotional and stressful transition from the expectancy of pregnancy to the overwhelming task of caring for a new baby, when they often do not have enough support. I think this is a really important area and a gap in the market, there are books that instruct parents on how to look after their babies, such as routines, but not much to help parents organise enough support for themselves so that they can more easily adapt to their new lifestyle and manage it in whatever way works for them.
This book was very long, in my opinion it was too long, it felt like a job to get through. There was lots in it that will be really valuable to new parents, but it just went on forever and I think it will be a challenge for new parents to pick out the bits that are relevant to them.
I don’t feel like this book completely worked together. It was trying to cover many different areas, and became too long and rambly. I think it would have been better to concentrate more on a few areas rather than trying to cover everything. I would have preferred to read a book that just covered the first year of caring for a baby, or that just covered the parents mental and physical health in the first year. I felt that this book was trying to be all things to all people, with the result that a lot of content will not be relevant to many parents. There was a lot of repetition and waffle which made the book a lot bulkier than it needed to be. At times it felt like this book would go on forever.
There were many good things in this book. It was a well-researched book. There was lots of good advice and useful information. There was a lot of signposting to websites, groups and further reading. Brown speaks in an honest and convincing way about the immediate and overwhelming experience of becoming a new parent, the shock that you have been trusted to look after a little baby as well as the anxiety about how hard you may find it and the feelings that other people seem to cope so much better in this situation. It tackles really important subjects such as the isolation and loneliness that can come with being a new parent. This can be especially difficult for people who are used to being independent and now find that they really do need help, asking for that help can make them feel as if they have failed in some way. Many people can identify with these feelings and it is important to address them. The book talks about the need to form a support system, including the more recent development of online support. There were strong recommendations for social media support, which although it has it’s uses, I think it also has notable downsides.
I liked that the book recognises the 2nd night after having a baby, an experience which all new parents should be warned about because it will break you. It also recognises growth spurts, which are useful to be aware of. I thought there was good sleep advice and I’m glad it covered co-sleeping.
It also talks about the option of taking a babymoon, this is like a holiday at home where mum and baby are allowed to dedicate their attention to each other, instead of getting on with things like cleaning, entertaining guests or going out to groups. There was a heavy emphasis on self-care, which is important and underrated for new parents. There was a lot of reassurance for new parents which is important, when you have a new baby it can often feel that you’re not doing well enough; the baby is still crying, the house it a tip and you have no idea what you’re doing. This is normal for most parents.
There were lots of contributions from other people, which gives readers lots more areas to look into that could be of interest to them. Many of these contributions were interesting, many were also unnecessary and constituted more repetition as Brown would cover a point, then have an expert cover the same point, Brown would then review the point; that’s three times of saying pretty much the same thing.
I thought the mental health section of the book was valuable and much needed. I was glad to see less spoken about subjects covered, such as negative emotions after birth regarding your baby/situation. This is a taboo area which it’s healthy to bring into the light as it is quite a normal response to the sudden changes in our lives that birth brings. It also covered IVF guilt, negative feelings when having subsequent babies (either negative about your new baby in relation to your older child(ren), or negative feelings about your older child(ren) with the arrival of a new baby). It covers regret and anger. More taboo subjects that are very, very common. It also covers very modern issues such as the social media pressure to have a perfect life; tip – people lie online.
I thought the section on postnatal physical effects was very useful and I found the osteopathy and nutritional sections particularly interesting.
Overall, despite how much I’ve moaned about aspects of this book, I would recommend it for new parents, because it covers things that all new parents should be aware of, and most other books don’t cover them.
You can watch my full review of this book on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/YXiUJWe8OFU
Profile Image for Kate Davies.
67 reviews3 followers
February 4, 2023
This book is fantastic. Another must read to prepare for the birth of your baby. This book goes into detail about feeding, going back to work, tips for partners, your body, your mental health…I wish I’d read it when I had my daughter.
Amy Brown wrote ‘ Why breastfeeding grief and trauma matter’ another book I can’t recommend highly enough. This book offers lots of options and is caring, sensitive and non-judgemental in its tone.
Profile Image for Sinead.
43 reviews1 follower
February 6, 2022
This was worth reading, similar to her book on breastfeeding it is less about the literal how tos and more general practical advice.
Profile Image for Delia Florea.
4 reviews1 follower
November 8, 2023
Such an amazing practical guide to help new moms navigate the first ( and probably most difficult ) year and certainly the most sleep-deprived one of their life so far ! I had to plan to make time to read it and each chapter came as a necessity, not a luxury . It’s about those hard times when you need a totally on point book because you don’t want to waste your time for anything in the world that’s not worth it ! I’ve bought it for my pregnant friends as well to start reading before the baby comes 😆
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