Live Free: Exceed Your Highest Expectations

by DeVon Franklin

The bestselling author returns with his biggest book yet in which he teaches us the secret to living a happier life: get rid of as many expectations as possible—of ourselves, our future, our relationships, our career and our family.

Expectations are the secret software, running on the hardware of our minds, controlling our emotions, decisions, and actions. How? 

Think about your life. How much of the sadness you feel derives from what you think should have happened—than with what actually happened?

Think about your career. How much of the discontent you feel comes from your belief about where you’d be at this point–than with the progress you’ve actually made?

Think about your relationships. How much of your dissatisfaction with friends, family, significant others, or spouses has to do with your unspoken presumptions—than with the people themselves?

Having so many expectations is distorting your perspective, decreasing your happiness and disrupting your joy. 

You can live a life of true freedom, greater peace and less stress: release as many expectations as possible.

This, DeVon Franklin argues, is the secret to a better life now.

In a culture obsessed with more, Live Free is a bold counterintuitive book that can start a cultural revolution, Franklin contends. 

Everyone struggles with unnecessary expectations. But once you learn to let go of them, you can set the stage for the life you’ve always wanted. 

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Spirituality, Audiobook, Faith, Personal Growth, Christian

288 pages, Hardcover

Published May 4, 2021

About the author

DeVon Franklin is a bestselling author, spiritual success coach, former Sony Pictures executive, and the CEO of Franklin Entertainment, a production company in conjunction with 20th Century Fox. Variety named him one of the “10 Producers to Watch” and Beliefnet called him one of the “Most Influential Christians Under 40.” Franklin is the author of the New York Times bestseller The Wait (co-written with his wife, award-winning actress Meagan Good) and Produced by Faith. He lives with Meagan in Los Angeles, California.

Reviews

[Josh Caporale · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway and am very thankful to have not only won this book, but of the eight books I won in giveaways this year, this was the first to arrive, so it is the first to be read.

DeVon Franklin is a producer who has been at work with his production company, Franklin Entertainment, since branching off from Sony Picture Entertainment, where some of his work included that in which he worked on "The Karate Kid." In addition to having published multiple books, Franklin is also a motivational speaker that preaches the message of God. In this self-help book, he talks about "living free," which to clarify is more about living free of stress and the demands that those within your personal circle inflict or cause for you as opposed to free as in freedom. In a world with the pandemic landscape, political intensity, an establishment that has taken this time to tighten their grip, and common people divided, this book unfortunately comes with a case of bad timing, in how it only goes so far in addressing the events of 2020. While Franklin does bring up "cancel culture" and how fear of "getting cancelled," perceived in a negative light, and how overbearing social media is in our lives and makes great points to that accord, he does not bring up the dark underbelly that is preventing such freedom and how cancel culture picks and chooses and does not follow a one size fits all model (i.e. If you are abusive, you are going to be cancelled... unless you are someone like Bobby Brown or Joe Jackson, then you will still be viewed positively).

This book is structured very well, though. The chapters are short and each point within the grander scheme of things is sorted into its own section. After each chapter, Franklin leaves questions that he wants you the reader to answer with either a pen and paper or on a WordPad on your smartphone. He also does a good job providing examples of noteworthy people and stories within his own life to help strengthen his points that he makes throughout this book. My favorite strategy he uses when writing this book is how he highlights his major statements in bold, all capital letters, sorted into its own section. This is unique, but most importantly I believe it works.

While this book made me productively think about things going on in my life, I cannot say that it changed me. There were moments that frustrated me in how with everyone going on and where I see the powerful becoming more powerful and the common individual feeling less freer and carrying an even heavier burden, it feels like Franklin's approach is "you cannot control what is taking place, but you can control how you respond and make the best out of it." It was a very good idea that Franklin did not incorporate politics into his arguments, but in general, he definitely did not want to rattle any particular feathers, as he works alongside plenty of heavyweights within the entertainment industry. He does not do in this book what Ronan Farrow did in "Catch and Kill" or what Dr. Marion Nestle did in "Soda Politics."

DeVon Franklin does devote an entire chapter in having faith, which would appeal to people that have Christian faith, but those that do not have a strong Christian faith or any Christian faith would not find much value in this chapter.

If this book was written in the late 2010s, this probably would have been a stronger book, but still a very safe book that fulfills Franklin's feelings and his beliefs on how one should live the life they want to without a great deal of stress. He brings up good points and goes deep into the woods on this one, but does not make it entirely out of the woods. I would still recommend it on the basis that it does bring up good points that can be helpful for certain people in certain situations, but it would be worth the wait to either buy at a cheaper price, secondhand, or rent it at the library.

[Mikayla Fulper · Rating 1 out of 5]

I ended up stopping this book after a few chapters. I read a lot of self-help, informative, thought-provoking books and just felt that this one missed the mark and wrote in a way that was a little bit childish? And didn’t seem to say anything new or interesting he just replace the word boundaries with expectations for the most part and I felt it wasn’t worth my time and that they were other people to learn more from

[tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I’ve ever read. For many of us, specifically those of us in the Black community, unset expectations can cause pain and strife in our professional and personal lives.

In Live Free, Franklin provides a step-by-step approach to finding yourself, setting your goals and expectations and how to communicate them effectively to the people you love most. Definitely consider adding this great book to your list of reads.

[Shannan Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a great, inspiring read that will help you live a better life. There is practical advice throughout the pages. I am going to have to read this book again and refer to it frequently. Although each chapter is short, there are questions at the end of each one in order to help you evaluate what was written. A great, inspiring reference book.

[Stanjay Daniels · Rating 5 out of 5]

While there weren't any revolutionary insights in this book, I was impressed by the presentation of the information related to expectations. This is something I've been grappling with for a few weeks now and I'm so glad that I read it in this season of my life. I loved how Devon broke down the concept of expectations in each chapter towards various areas of life, such as expectations in romantic relationship, expectations in career, etc. I'm a quote girlie so I loved each chapter starting with quotes from popular people in our society and I loved the relatable stories from people like Issa Ray and Barack Obama, just to name a few.

[April · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard about this book on Clubhouse from Francesca Hogi and the True Love Society back in late April or early May. DeVon was in a room that she hosted and was talking about this book of his. Some of the things he and Francesca talked about really resonated with me, especially about outsourcing happiness and how expectations in relationships can create problems. Basically, the chapter that resonated most with me was Chapter 11 and almost everything that was shared there, including the love affirmation. I think the questions throughout the book are good prompts, but I didn't necessarily feel compelled to respond to them all, just certain ones that are more relevant to my life now. And of course, that's how it should be for everyone--not everything will resonate all the time. I'm glad I read this book, mostly for Ch 11 but the rest also contributed to my learning.

“The people who seek advice from me almost always complain about how miserable they are because of something that hasn’t happened yet. That’s one of the main problems with expectations: they keep us from living in the present, enjoying the process, and appreciating what we do have. Instead, we obsess over what we don’t have. We’re too busy focusing on what we expect to receive, whether it has any basis in reality or not. Or we’re too hung up on the pain of past disappointment.
Our focus goes to where it shouldn’t be—on other people and situations outside of ourselves. That distracts us from taking full accountability for our own choices and contentment. Instead of maximizing the time that does exist (the present), we outsource our happiness, satisfaction, and peace to a time that doesn’t yet exist (the future): Oh, when I get this job, or, When this promotion happens, or, When I get married . . . then I’ll be happy. News flash: if you’re not happy now, you won’t be happy then.” pg. 2-3

“You may not even be aware that you’re not reacting to the actual events of your life. Instead, you’re reacting to your expectations of what you thought should’ve happened, what didn’t happen, or what could’ve happened. Let’s be honest—if this is you (and hey, I was guilty of this too), then here’s a hard truth. As of right now, you aren’t in control . . . your expectations are running your life. Maybe even ruining your life.” pg. 3

“TO LIVE FREE MEANS YOU ARE NOT UNDER THE MENTAL, PHYSICAL, OR EMOTIONAL CONTROL OF ANYONE OR ANYTHING. YOU LIVE ACCORDING TO THE EXPECTATIONS YOU CHOOSE.” pg. 5

“There are four main areas in your life where expectations come into play:
- PERSONAL: Your expectations of yourself
- CULTURAL: Your expectations of your culture and the culture’s expectations of you
- RELATIONAL: Your expectations of others and others’ expectations of you
- PROFESSIONAL: Your expectations of your career and your job’s expectations of you
To live more freely, you’ll have to gain control in all of these areas. To do so, you must evaluate each and every one of your expectations and determine where it came from. If it doesn’t serve you, you must let it go. By doing so, you will release yourself from its grip. Do this again, and again, and again, until you’re left with only the expectations of your choosing. Then, any expectations you do keep must be set carefully; make sure these expectations are realistic and communicate them to anyone else who might need to agree to meet them. Then and only then will your expectations be set properly.” pg. 7

“You really do create your own happiness, and if you try to outsource it to anyone or anything else, you will always be dissatisfied.” pg. 8

“Expectations are weights. They can weigh us down physically. They can weigh us down mentally. They can weigh us down spiritually. They put our focus too much on where it shouldn’t be—on the past, on the future, and on other people—and distract us from accepting accountability for our own happiness and choices, in the here and now. When we take on too many of them, they make our lives harder—and can actually push our goals further away.” pg. 11-12

“There’s nothing wrong with having standards, high standards even. However, let’s talk about the downside. What happens when your beliefs become standards for others? It works like this:
I have an expectation of myself, and as a result, I’ve set that expectation as the standard by which everyone else should live.
Do you believe that everyone in your life should live by your standards? You alone set the standards for yourself, and for nobody else but you. Be careful not to lose perspective and impose your standards on other people, even if you believe them to be realistic. You are not a dictator, and other people have the right to respond and act however they choose. Blindly imposing your standards on other people prevents you from seeing them as they actually are and allowing them to have their own path in life. You can also become tremendously frustrated when your standards aren’t met.
On the other hand, how do you respond when others measure you against their standards, based on beliefs you don’t agree with? If you are anything like me, the answer is, probably not well. Don’t allow others to impose the standards they choose to live by on you, and resist the temptation to do the same, by taking on their values as your own. Only you should choose your own standards. Don’t give that power to anyone else.” pg. 19-20

“Your expectations are the secret software running on the hardware of your mind. They control your emotions, decisions, and actions. They distort your perspective. They drive your choices. They influence your feelings about outcomes, often in ways you aren’t even aware of. That’s the danger: too often you don’t realize this is happening. You feel like you are in control, but you aren’t—this hidden program is actually in charge.” pg. 27

“Sometimes it’s easier to be busy, to throw yourself into something, so you don’t have to think for yourself. You’re on autopilot. You might even be experiencing a little bit of avoidance, unwilling to face what you really need to do. It’s harder to be alone with ourselves, finding our true path, setting our expectations, than it is to do what’s right in front of us. It can be easier to go along with the expectations of others, even if it’s uncomfortable, than to face the challenge of stopping and building our own lives, based on our true calling. But we must stop in order to do so.” pg. 51-52

“The difference between unrealistic and realistic expectations comes down to one word: control. When the results you want are within your power to make happen, then your expectations are realistic. But anytime you expect anything that’s outside of your control, your expectations are unrealistic.
WHATEVER IS IN YOUR CONTROL IS REALISTIC TO EXPECT.
Whatever isn’t in your control is dangerous, and unrealistic to expect.
While this is a simple concept, the major obstacle we often face when it comes to setting realistic expectations is our denial of it. Admitting that we are powerless over most aspects of our lives—and especially the areas we really care about—can be challenging.” pg. 58

“When we are analyzing our expectations that involve other people to determine if they are realistic or not, we must always remember that we don’t control anyone—not our spouse, not our children, not our friends, not our family, not even our employees. We only control ourselves. We can ask other people to do something. We can create consequences if they don’t comply with our request. But anything beyond that is skating toward the realm of unrealistic expectations and the resentments they breed.
Many of us get into exactly this type of trouble, though, because most relationships come with an ‘implicit social contract.’ Generally, there’s nothing wrong with this. The problem occurs when we assume that our each and every desire will be met exactly as we want it to be, sometimes without even expressing our need to the other person. Obviously, this is not a failing on the other person’s part; it’s our own failure to properly set our expectations. Still, we continue to allow our emotions to entangle us.” pg. 59

“Most of us absorb these kinds of insidious, unrealistic expectations on a daily basis without even being aware of it. And when we don’t identify them as such but try to set them as expectations for ourselves, we become caught in a cycle of striving and failing and, too often, blaming ourselves for not doing or being enough. If this discontent makes us think less of ourselves or feel burnt out, we blame ourselves, then often buy something to fix it. We need to examine that automatic and subconscious process so we can see that many of these expectations are unrealistic—and so we can climb off the wheel and start really living, by only setting those expectations that are both realistic and in line with our true values.” pg. 62

“Here’s one of the most challenging aspects about setting expectations: You can have a realistic expectation that involves another person. You can communicate it clearly, in an attempt to set it. But you have to accept that, even if you verbalize it, and request for it to be met, the other person is not obligated to agree to it. Also, if you don’t like their decision to say no to your expectation, you are the one who has to work through your feelings instead of blaming them for being unwilling to meet whatever your expectation may have been.
On the other hand, you shouldn’t skip something you’re called to do if the other person isn’t feeling it—just as you shouldn’t expect them to give up something that’s meaningful to them. And you shouldn’t avoid a conversation, on any subject, simply because you don’t want to hear no. Whatever the truth of the situation, it will be better for both parties to be fully informed and to accept it.” pg. 73

“. . . even after all the world around expectations I’ve already done, sometimes I still have to stop and ask myself: Am I reacting to the reality of the situation, or am I reacting to my expectation of what I thought it should be?” pg. 74

“Let’s be honest: it’s very easy to love somebody who’s doing everything you want them to do. It’s all love, and that’s a walk in the park. But if you really want your love to be tested, then deal with the moment they don’t do what you want them to do. That’s when you grow. That’s when your heart expands, your mind expands, you expand, and you grow as a person.” pg. 75

“We don’t control anyone’s thoughts or actions any more than they control us, but we can go far by demonstrating our own self-control.” pg. 86

“We’re all running our own internal tabs, whether we’re aware of it or not. These unpaid tabs create resentments. Here’s how it works. Our subconscious keeps a detailed record of everything we spend, emotionally and spiritually. The tab is always running, especially when it comes to those things that are not in our hearts to do (even if someone else wants us to do them). Not only do these resentments build up, but the anxiety builds, the pressure builds, and the discomfort builds. We may not even be aware of how much those negative emotions are building until the bill comes due. That’s when we blow up. We do something we can’t believe we did. We say something we can’t believe we said.” pg. 93

“Suppressing your true wants and needs, even for your loved one, will usually cause you to act out in unhealthy ways. If you look at most of the dysfunctional behaviors in a family—for example, constant fighting, codependence, jealousy—I’d argue that you can trace the behavior back to an unspoken resentment felt by the one doing the acting out. Subconsciously, they were expecting something but didn’t get it, and now they’re angry. Or there was something they felt pressured to do, even though it really wasn’t in their heart, and now they’re mad about it. Ever been there before?” pg. 93-94

“The best way to handle the conversation is up to you. But what I wouldn’t do is go along with some thing that has not been discussed. Any and all expectations need to be discussed, and there needs to be clarity on whether or not you’re going to agree to them.
As always, communication is key. While you don’t control whether the other person‘s feelings are hurt, you can be as kind and respectful as possible. Your independence is not meant to hurt them, but to enable your own freedom. As is your decision to set any and all cultural expectations you choose to live by for yourself.” pg. 95

"DON'T LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF WHAT CAN HAPPEN IN YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF WHAT HASN'T YET HAPPENED IN YOUR LIFE.
Although what you’re praying for hasn’t happened yet, it doesn’t mean it won’t happen. What if I told you that your faith yesterday created your reality today, and your faith today will create your reality tomorrow? Here is the key to seeing your faith manifest:
LIVE LIKE WHAT YOU EXPECT TO HAPPEN WILL HAPPEN, EVEN BEFORE IT HAPPENS.
When you start to do this, you will see things in your life change in ways that will defy your logical understanding. One of the many amazing things about God is that He specializes in exceeding our wildest expectations. When you start to change your beliefs about what God can do, and the speed at which He can do it, you will see things manifest in a powerful way.” pg. 100

“THE POSITION OF FAITH IS A POSITIVE MINDSET.
It is expressed like this:
Everything is workin out for me.
Nothing is happening to me; everything is happening for me.
No matter what happens, I will keep showing up with a positive attitude.
All things are working together for my good.
It didn't happen yesterday, but it might happen today.
I' excited about who I am and where I'm going.
I feel like a blessing is on the way.
Today is the day when everything turns around in my favor." pg. 100-101

"You have to participate, even when you don't feel like it, or you won't see the results.
EXPECTATION WITH NO PARTICIPATION EQUALS DEVASTATION." pg. 102

"What is God's business? God is in the business of How. We always seem to want to control the result, but remember: the process is the result. God says, commit to the process and keep putting yourself in position." pg. 103

"If we are stuck in a rut, God will allow problems to break up our routine. He loves us too much to see us squander our existence. You and I may never wake up from our routine otherwise. If problems don't come up sometimes--How am I going to pay the rent? How am I going to survive when everybody's being laid off? How am I going to make it through this depression? How am I going to weather this breakup?--we may never wake up.
God is a routine-breaker. Don't get me wrong: I'm all about having a good regimen, a solid process, and sticking to it. But we don't want to become so committed to our process that we end up living on autopilot, without thinking." pg. 105-106

"Sometimes when problems interrupt your life, it's because God is saying, I need you to live. I need to wake you up, because if you don't wake up now, not only are you going to miss what's coming to you, but you're going to go in a direction I never designed.
I KNOW THIS MIGHT SOUND CRAZY, BUT I WANT YOU TO THANK GOD FOR THE PROBLEMS YOU HAVE. 
GOD IS TRYING TO WAKE YOU UP." pg. 106

“YOUR PROBLEMS ARE THE PATH TO THE BLESSINGS YOU SEEK, NOT THE OBSTACLE TO THEM. . .
Scripture says in multiple passages, ‘according to your faith, it will be done.’” pg. 107

“This is a powerful reminder for us to trust that God has a plan. We walk by faith, not by sight. Instead of allowing ourselves to become discouraged, or focusing on what hasn’t happened, we need to start putting some faith into our talk. We need to say what is going to happen with the conviction of our faith:
I will be healed.
I will be whole.
I will be pain-free.
I will be generous.
I will walk in power.
I will become everything God has called me to be.
And here’s the most important lesson of all: we don’t know how long it’s going to take. We don’t know what form the blessing is going to a spear in. That’s God’s business. But how you live, think, and feel is your business Feel good about what’s on the way to you. Think of the many great blessing you are going to receive. vin in the love of God and do your best to never leave it.” pg. 111 [Also, instead of “will be,” what about saying “I am . . .”? I think that’s little more powerful. But maybe the “will be” statements are ladder or bridge statements to the “I am” ones.]

“Hope is necessary to our survival. If an artery in your heart is clogged, it has to be cleared; hope functions the same way. If you’re not feeling hopeful, you have to unblock your hope. Your life depends on it.
This is why having some carefully set expectations is essential. Expectations serve as our hope valve. Think again about the heart. If any one of the four heart valves—tricuspid, pulmonary, mitral, and aortic—doesn’t open properly, life-threatening problems can develop. Just like a heart valve, if your hope is turned off, the results are devastating emotional, spiritual, and physical problems.” pg. 114

“Here’s what healthy hope looks like: hope keeps you motivated, it keeps you upbeat, and it keeps you from feeling stressed or overwhelmed. That’s why this work is crucial. When your expectations are properly set, you’re optimistic, so that even when your expectations challenge you, it will be in a productive way.” pg. 115

“Whether it’s in life, work, love, or money, nothing steals hope faster than disappointment. The pain of past letdowns can keep you from moving forward. It’s vital to detect the sources of any such lingering pain and work to resolve them. That way, you’ll free yourself from your old baggage, producing a clean slate for your spirit and an unburdened heart as you set healthy new expectations for yourself.” pg. 116

“If there is no deeper trauma tethering your pain, my question isn’t ‘Why can’t you?’ but instead, ‘Why won’t you?’ If you have the ability to do something and yet you’re not doing it, you’re making a choice—even if it’s a subconscious one—to stay in the pain of that past hurt rather than work through it and commit to rejoining your life today.
What’s keeping you stuck in the past? Ask yourself:
- Am I afraid of unknown experiences in my future?
- Is it easier for me to hold onto the hurt because it’s a more familiar feeling than the unknown feeling of healing?
- Is this way of thinking or feeling just a bad habit that I don’t need anymore?
. . . Is my hope for the future and my desire to have the life I want greater than my commitment to the pain I’ve experienced?” pg. 118-119

Book: borrowed from SSF Main Library. Not enough space!

[Carla JFCL · Rating 3 out of 5]

My rating is unfortunately clouded by the fact that I really dislike self-help books. I read this only because it was a book club selection, but honestly….it was a struggle. I can never read this type of book without thinking the whole time, “And what makes YOU (the author) such an expert?” Oh well….at least I finished it.

[LoisLovesMemoirs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Relatable. Useful tips. Life lessons. Even tho I am not religious I found this book helpful and interesting. The part I like most is that he used real people’s anecdotes to illustrate issues in life. I also got some good book ideas from the text. The author seems educated and experienced and not super preachy. I was hesitant to pick up the book because I didn’t feel like being lectured but it is not like that so I would recommend it if you’re having marriage friendship parenting or work issues to sort out. Good for people of all ages. Even very young adults/older teens would be a good audience.

[Dr. Aundrea T. Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought I was living a free life - not until I listened to this book. As with anything else, there are levels to our freedom. And I can say that I have leveled up my freedom. This book provides a pathway for growth (if you do the work). If you truly want to be who God created you to be, read/listen to this book at least once. This book is one that I plan to return to again and again...

[Chrissy E · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is inspirational. I am setting boundaries and sticking to them. This upcoming school year will be better than ever.

[Jung · Rating 5 out of 5]

NO EXPECTATIONS = NO DISAPPOINTMENTS

"Live Free: Exceed Your Highest Expectations" by DeVon Franklin is a guide that encourages readers to break free from societal, cultural, and personal expectations that may hinder personal growth and authenticity. The book provides practical advice on reevaluating and reshaping expectations to align with one's true self, fostering a life that is genuinely yours. Here is a summary of key points from different sections of the book:

Expectations set for yourself:
- Identify and release expectations that don't serve you, especially perfectionistic or suppressed expectations from childhood.
- Set new expectations intentionally, prioritizing self-care and authenticity over living up to others' expectations.
- Examine and recalibrate expectations, grounding them in reality and steering clear of unrealistic ideals sold by societal standards and media.
- Express your expectations to those around you, as people can't read your mind. Learn to communicate clearly and establish healthy boundaries.

Expectations imposed by your culture:
- Challenge cultural expectations by choosing your own path within the framework of your culture, unearthing and examining expectations that resonate with your authentic self.
- Respect your culture while forging your own path. It's not about outright rebellion but about deciding which cultural expectations align with your values.
- Reassess expectations related to faith, viewing unanswered prayers as invitations to trust a grander plan. Faith requires action and belief, and obstacles can be seen as part of the journey.

Expectations in your relationships:
- Voice your needs in relationships instead of relying on assumptions or silent expectations.
- Engage in clear, heartfelt conversations with your partner about expectations and collaborate to set and respect them.
- Relationship checkups are crucial for tuning into each other's frequencies, exchanging feedback, and fine-tuning love.
- Happiness is an inside job; don't expect your partner to be your sole source of happiness. Contribute to each other's happiness and focus on personal growth.

Expectations in your professional life:
- Understand and exceed your boss's expectations in the workplace for career advancement. Be proactive, observe, ask questions, and offer solutions.
- Be mindful of setting authentic and achievable goals in your career. Beware of "fake goals" that don't resonate with your true self.
- Focus on the process of daily actions, skill-building, and learning moments, as these contribute to future success.
- If your career expectations are not fulfilled, listen to your inner whispers and consider planning a transition if needed.

The book emphasizes the importance of setting and communicating expectations with intention in all areas of life, staying true to oneself, and embracing a continuous journey of personal evolution. By examining and intentionally choosing expectations, readers can live a freer, more authentic life that aligns with their true selves.

[Adrienna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Devon Franklin, the author, uses many different celebrities, books including his own writings, and examples to meet or exceed your expectations. This is a time when he was married as well, 2021, shortly thereafter he divorced. yet he still helps married couples or relationships.

I felt the earlier chapters didn't fully register or help per se; but when he got to part 3 of the book, I started to find it relatable but still not the best advice in some cases. He used "emotional intelligence 2.0" which is a book either in our library or book list to be ordered, where we have to voice our expectations (or boundaries) in a relationship, they cannot be unsaid, or unvoiced because no one can assume, imply, or even read your mind in most cases--then you get easily upset, offended because of it. No one is perfect, but you can perfect things in the relationship.

I disliked strongly that he didn't touch on "covenant relationships" in this "Live Free" book. I also laughed how he referred to many celebs as his "good friend" and shook my head not so much to disbelief but like really, all of them are not only your friend but also "good". True friendships are hard to come by and live by.

"It's not them, it's you" chapter can be beneficial whether in a romantic relationship or not. Yet I liked this passage the most, "in a relationship we have a responsibility to affair proof or union by addressing our partners unmet hunger." You cannot imagine or guess, be bold and confident to let your partner know. It is not how much you have sex but how they make you feel, and quality of the sex, it's intimacy and romance is best. Role play. Furthermore, I agree that you should be satisfied and quality sex, blessed to meet that, but only thing for him to work on is intimacy: "in-2-me."

Clean your glasses (sub-chapter) speaks on how challenging communication can be-express your relational expectations, which offers great deal of vulnerability. I have sought out just that from my partner, to be more open not so closed, and share with me not others where I would hear it indirectly; as the book expressed, I have felt negative emotions; can lead to judgment or unwarranted anger which smudge lenses instead of seeing clearly.

Overall, you can glean something from this book as a whole. It was a decent read but wasn't a great or spectacular one.

Sidenote: I see the copyright date, or the book came out 2 days after my bday!

[Mallory · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free review copy of this book thanks to the publisher and Goodreads giveaways.

Sometimes it takes me longer to move through books that are impacting me or speaking to me right in the moment I'm facing. That was the case with this book. It's funny, it's almost like I avoid them! *If I just leave you on the table, or in the drawer, I don't have to confront what you're saying to me...* Because I have an ARC copy I will likely return to it soon and try some of the journaling prompts the author provides, though I will share this copy with a friend or two first. Expectations have always been a struggle and a hinderance in my life, in living a full in-the-present-moment life. How many of us are like Chevy Chase's character in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: "I know how you build things up in your mind, Sparky..."? The truth is lots of us, in big and small ways. This book is very helpful in allowing you to see what areas that might be for you and ways to change your habits, thinking and mentality. Franklin very openly and honestly comes from a Christian perspective, but acknowledges that his readers may not. I think if you have disappointment in certain aspects of your life or are just disappointed with your life in general, you will benefit from reading this book.

[Mir Shahzad · Rating 4 out of 5]

Summary:
You can live a freer, more authentic life by examining your expectations, releasing those imposed on you by others, and intentionally embracing those that align with your true self. This journey begins within, by opening your eyes to the silent scripts running your life. Have the courage to release limiting expectations from the past. Instead, intentionally choose expectations that enable your highest self – ones rooted in reality, self-knowledge, and authentic dreams. Communicate these mindfully in all areas of life. Stay open and proactive in relationships, exceed expectations professionally while honoring your skills and purpose, and let your cultural values guide you – not confine you. 

Expectations are not shackles unless you let them be. They’re meant to provide healthy structure and purposeful direction. Ultimately, the choice is yours. Your authentic path awaits – now walk it boldly.

[Maxine Blackwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

You can live a freer, more authentic life by examining your expectations, releasing those imposed on you by others, and intentionally embracing those that align with your true self. This journey begins within, by opening your eyes to the silent scripts running your life. Have the courage to release limiting expectations from the past. Instead, intentionally choose expectations that enable your highest self – ones rooted in reality, self-knowledge, and authentic dreams. Communicate these mindfully in all areas of life. Stay open and proactive in relationships, exceed expectations professionally while honoring your skills and purpose, and let your cultural values guide you – not confine you. 

Expectations are not shackles unless you let them be. They’re meant to provide healthy structure and purposeful direction. Ultimately, the choice is yours. Your authentic path awaits – now walk it boldly.

[Judy M Reyes · Rating 4 out of 5]

At the beginning, I found the book to be very typical for the inspirational, self help genre. "You can be all you were meant to be. Follow these steps." And, I wondered what could be new about the topic of managing expectations? I stuck with it and eventually found morsels and chunks of advice I could use. Chapter 6 about cultural expectations was powerful for me as a Mexican American who has always bumped up against them both within and outside of my family. And Chapter 9 talked about close relationships and boundaries with useful examples. There are great quotes to begin each chapter and well constructed questions for self examination at the end of each chapter. I ignored as merely annoying the limited references to Christian living; they don't detract overall from the value of the message. Look for that which speaks to you.

[Veronica · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's the Expectations

Towards the end of the book about Expectations is where I found so much relatable information. I can appreciate this part of the book because in my own life I feel I've at times tried to live up to other people's expectations in which didn't always work for me. And I feel it's never too late to set the direction for the course of the life you want to live in what direction you want your life to go and who is it that you want to become. Having received my BS degree in accounting 6 years ago is just one milestone of taking my life in the direction I want to go

[J · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me to think through some problems I had been facing with relationships in my life. The power of acknowledging and articulating our expectations to each other can make all the difference. If you have some relationship concerns, read this book. It will help you to assess where you are now and help you make appropriate adjustments that will allow you to exceed your expectations. Enjoy!

[Guerry Sisters · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 Another nonfiction read for you!

I discovered @devonfranklin from his Instagram account. He has the most beautiful prayers on his account!

After hearing him on @gabbybernstein podcast, I knew I wanted to read his book! I really enjoyed this book. There were so many great takeaways about the expectations we put on ourselves and others!

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not the biggest fan of self help books but I loved this one. The questions at the end of each chapter were honestly the key to why I enjoyed the book so much. This book/workbook helps guide you on self work which is sometimes extremely difficult to do without a strong guide.

This is a surprisingly helpful book and I am very grateful to Goodreads for sending me a copy.

[Connie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was well written with practical examples to back the proposed change in thinking around the various expectations in one’s life. I found it insightful and helpful. It is also reinforced some of the things that I was already doing, so it was helpful to see in print positive reinforcement for how I approach things.

[Maya · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is the truth!!! Every chapter has my jaw dropping, feeling exposed and a little like, "duh! Life could be so simple, why are we making this so hard?!"

I'm listening to the audio version but I've heard enough to know that I'm gonna get the physical copy and hilight damn near every page. I am blessed to receive the message of this book

[LH · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesantes und erfrischendes Buch über den Umgang mit den vielen Erwartungen, denen wir häufig ausgesetzt sind. Viele der Ansätze können bei der positiven Persönlichkeitsentwicklung helfen. Manchmal etwas unstrukturiert und mir persönlich mit zu viel Bezug zu Gott. Trotzdem ein sehr lesenswertes Buch, das vielen Menschen helfen wird.

[She · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful! If you’re prepared to do the work, leading to a life of living free, grab this book! It is truly a powerful tool, more like an immersive literature of change. I will most likely read it again, and again.

[Dawn F Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid book for setting yourself free of expectations. I have employed some of the tactics he suggests in my life already and believe in them and some things he suggested I will give a try. I did sometimes find his messaging conflicting or confusing but minimal examples.

[Simone · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great read. I really enjoyed.

[Leeann Crisman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think the questions this story presented were really empowering and truly made me take a moment to regroup and think.

[Carole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the most useful self-help book I've ever read. It clearly defines Expectations. I highly recommend this book to everyone.

[Victoria Rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book content is a lot to take in. A wrap up/key takeaways would have helped to reinforce key messages.

[Alli Tripp · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ironically I expected more of this book.. meh