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Friends And Enemies: A Memoir
Shockingly honest, richly detailed, and pulling no punches, Friends and Enemies traverses the highs and lows of Barbara Amiel's storied life in journalism and high society.
From her early childhood in London during the Blitz to emigrating to North America and her rise to the top rungs of journalism; to her four husbands and other assorted beaus both famous and not; and right up to her marriage to Conrad Black and their prolific legal battles against the powerful and vengeful American justice system, Barbara Amiel's life has been as dramatic as it is glamorous. She has been called every conceivable name in the book by the media (and authors of unauthorized biographies about her), pilloried for her extravagant lifestyle and sometimes regrettable quotes to the press ("My extravagance knows no bounds," for instance, to Vogue), not to mention her outspoken conservative political views as stated in her weekly newspaper columns around the world. It's no surprise she remains to this day a subject of utter fascination after over four decades in the public eye.
But until now, very few people actually know her real story—the break-up of her family when she was a child, her bouts of debilitating depression and other chronic health issues, her thoughts on feminism and #MeToo, her travels with the international jet set and A-list celebrities, and, of course, her unvarnished views on the trial and conviction (since overturned) of Conrad Black and the iron-clad bond they have shared since they were married in 1992.
Whether you are an admirer or critic of Amiel’s, you will be completely engrossed in her operatic life, one that seems ripped from the pages of a scandalous novel. She also distinguishes herself as a woman well ahead of her time—the first female editor of a national newspaper in Canada, she challenged the sexual mores of society while also angering the feminist establishment. She has certainly had many friends and enemies over the years—Henry and Nancy Kissinger, Elton John, Tom Stoppard, David Frost, Anna Wintour, Oscar de la Renta, Margaret Thatcher, Princess Diana, Marie Jose Kravis, to name but a few—and she brings these personalties into the spotlight in this larger-than-life memoir that is sure to cause a sensation with readers everywhere.
From her early childhood in London during the Blitz to emigrating to North America and her rise to the top rungs of journalism; to her four husbands and other assorted beaus both famous and not; and right up to her marriage to Conrad Black and their prolific legal battles against the powerful and vengeful American justice system, Barbara Amiel's life has been as dramatic as it is glamorous. She has been called every conceivable name in the book by the media (and authors of unauthorized biographies about her), pilloried for her extravagant lifestyle and sometimes regrettable quotes to the press ("My extravagance knows no bounds," for instance, to Vogue), not to mention her outspoken conservative political views as stated in her weekly newspaper columns around the world. It's no surprise she remains to this day a subject of utter fascination after over four decades in the public eye.
But until now, very few people actually know her real story—the break-up of her family when she was a child, her bouts of debilitating depression and other chronic health issues, her thoughts on feminism and #MeToo, her travels with the international jet set and A-list celebrities, and, of course, her unvarnished views on the trial and conviction (since overturned) of Conrad Black and the iron-clad bond they have shared since they were married in 1992.
Whether you are an admirer or critic of Amiel’s, you will be completely engrossed in her operatic life, one that seems ripped from the pages of a scandalous novel. She also distinguishes herself as a woman well ahead of her time—the first female editor of a national newspaper in Canada, she challenged the sexual mores of society while also angering the feminist establishment. She has certainly had many friends and enemies over the years—Henry and Nancy Kissinger, Elton John, Tom Stoppard, David Frost, Anna Wintour, Oscar de la Renta, Margaret Thatcher, Princess Diana, Marie Jose Kravis, to name but a few—and she brings these personalties into the spotlight in this larger-than-life memoir that is sure to cause a sensation with readers everywhere.
608 pages, Hardcover
First published October 13, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews
November 17, 2020
“For me, soon to be 80, the only revenge would be to see our persecutors guillotined. I have worked out 1,001 ways to see them die, beginning with injecting them with the ebola virus and watching.”
This is lifestyle porn mixed with name-dropping. For Amiel, it is probably cathartic to defend her grifter of a husband and call out her "high society" friends, each of whom seem worse than the next. They say judge a person by their friends..... Conrad Black is a conman and fraudster. He supports fascism and apparently so does his opportunist wife, who at every chance seemed to fall and Miranda her way upwards. (This is a Handmaid's Tale reference of a woman who betrays her sex, not a Sex and the City reference.)
An eye opening sequence occurs when Elton John gives her a present and she can't understand why he did it — because there was nothing in it for him at the time. The idea that relationship and friendship can be something other than manipulative and transactional does not occur to her. The shallowness of the Black family runs quite deep. I would not even make my worst enemy read this hogwash.
alternative title: A vain, hollow, woman falls upwards into wealth, wonders why money doesn't make her classy, and forays into writing; essentially the same as the daughter of the CEO in high school who ran the gossip rag on who's who, all without a single iota of self-awareness.
0 stars.
This is lifestyle porn mixed with name-dropping. For Amiel, it is probably cathartic to defend her grifter of a husband and call out her "high society" friends, each of whom seem worse than the next. They say judge a person by their friends..... Conrad Black is a conman and fraudster. He supports fascism and apparently so does his opportunist wife, who at every chance seemed to fall and Miranda her way upwards. (This is a Handmaid's Tale reference of a woman who betrays her sex, not a Sex and the City reference.)
An eye opening sequence occurs when Elton John gives her a present and she can't understand why he did it — because there was nothing in it for him at the time. The idea that relationship and friendship can be something other than manipulative and transactional does not occur to her. The shallowness of the Black family runs quite deep. I would not even make my worst enemy read this hogwash.
alternative title: A vain, hollow, woman falls upwards into wealth, wonders why money doesn't make her classy, and forays into writing; essentially the same as the daughter of the CEO in high school who ran the gossip rag on who's who, all without a single iota of self-awareness.
0 stars.
October 20, 2020
This book is nearly 600 pages. Had I known that in advance I might not have bought it — I purchased it quickly, online, assuming it would be a modest 300 pages or so. But of course it wasn’t. The longer the autobiography, the more important the subject, right? Like Michelle Obama’s book, it is too long, but unlike MO’s book, this is a wild read. Amiel appears to have held nothing back — not her worst behaviour or her homicidal fantasies. She even includes lists, at the back of the book, of friends and enemies. Who has the chutzpah to do that in this day and age? I found the first 60 pages a tough slog — she tells the story of her early life in a way that seems distant and detached, like she was a friend of the person she’s writing about, and no wonder — she was so neglected — but after that I was hooked. I couldn’t put it down. I spent a couple of hours with it on Saturday, all day Sunday, all of Monday evening and into the wee hours of Tuesday morning. It was all interesting to me — her string of marriages, her relationship with Conrad, her shopping obsession, her fraught relationships with upper crust women in the U.S., Canada and London, and the way almost everyone deserted them, like rats fleeing a sinking ship. Fascinating stuff. Love her or hate her, Barbara Amiel has guts.
I would recommend this to some people, but it’s not for everyone.
I would recommend this to some people, but it’s not for everyone.
November 10, 2020
Of course Barbara Amiel couldn’t let well enough alone. Enough time has passed where the general (Canadian, anyway) public could forget their excesses and begin to at least admire her for sticking with Conrad through his years of imprisonment and legal battles.
But no, she has come out with an even nastier, more arrogant, and certainly totally self-absorbed pity party and revenge-seeking diatribe that puts in the shade all her past obnoxious columns and interviews. Oh yeah, now I remember — you again! Back in Canada? What a drag for us, and apparently you too.
It seems she has never paused to consider whether her and Conrad’s behaviour played at least some part in their spectacular downfall. Yes the American criminal court system allows prosecutors too much leeway to wear defendants down. Other than that, all the points she made in this lengthy poisonous tome only served to remind me what a nasty tiresome attention-getter she was, and obviously, still is.
Barbara: so Laura Ingraham is your “gold star” US friend? What a surprise! And your step children merit only mildly derogatory and barely passing comment? They thought your over-the-top extravagance and social climbing might have contributed to their father’s downfall? No kidding! Your dogs merit whole chapters, but not any children or any ordinary people who presumably might have stood by you and Conrad.
By the way, I didn’t buy the book, only borrowed it.
My advice to other readers: don’t waste your time or money.
But no, she has come out with an even nastier, more arrogant, and certainly totally self-absorbed pity party and revenge-seeking diatribe that puts in the shade all her past obnoxious columns and interviews. Oh yeah, now I remember — you again! Back in Canada? What a drag for us, and apparently you too.
It seems she has never paused to consider whether her and Conrad’s behaviour played at least some part in their spectacular downfall. Yes the American criminal court system allows prosecutors too much leeway to wear defendants down. Other than that, all the points she made in this lengthy poisonous tome only served to remind me what a nasty tiresome attention-getter she was, and obviously, still is.
Barbara: so Laura Ingraham is your “gold star” US friend? What a surprise! And your step children merit only mildly derogatory and barely passing comment? They thought your over-the-top extravagance and social climbing might have contributed to their father’s downfall? No kidding! Your dogs merit whole chapters, but not any children or any ordinary people who presumably might have stood by you and Conrad.
By the way, I didn’t buy the book, only borrowed it.
My advice to other readers: don’t waste your time or money.
December 27, 2020
I was surprised by how vulnerable this memoir was given my prior perception of how status hungry this author was.
I never usually read memoirs by “celebrities” or people who have a public profile as I always feel they are so carefully contrived to preserve an image for future branding options. I think Barbara had done a great job of literally laying bare the experiences and decisions in her life which may have driven other women to destruction.
Part one was a delightful voyeuristic read on the vicious and complex world of the privileged. Part two was a little long but I thought it actually delivered how complicated and biased the legal system can be by virtue of its length and detail.
I am not in complete agreement with Amiel’s politics on most matters but this memoir developed a weird sense of empathy in me for her and Conrad Black. I loved the writing and consumed this entire tome (565 pages) in less than 24 hours.
A book that can change my perspective (eg bias) is worth the read.
I never usually read memoirs by “celebrities” or people who have a public profile as I always feel they are so carefully contrived to preserve an image for future branding options. I think Barbara had done a great job of literally laying bare the experiences and decisions in her life which may have driven other women to destruction.
Part one was a delightful voyeuristic read on the vicious and complex world of the privileged. Part two was a little long but I thought it actually delivered how complicated and biased the legal system can be by virtue of its length and detail.
I am not in complete agreement with Amiel’s politics on most matters but this memoir developed a weird sense of empathy in me for her and Conrad Black. I loved the writing and consumed this entire tome (565 pages) in less than 24 hours.
A book that can change my perspective (eg bias) is worth the read.
December 8, 2020
Very long, self indulgent, boring, got even to some extent by listing her enemies at the end of her narrative, I would not recommend this book.
October 30, 2020
Barbara Amiel has always struck me as an intelligent, outspoken and thought provoking journalist. I have enjoyed reading her columns. This book was all that I hoped it would be. It was novel that made get lost in someone else’s story. Well written although at times it did get too bogged down with the details of Conrad’s trails and tribulations. There are some spectacularly juicy details here. Part of the reason it took so long for me to finish was I kept having to do mini wiki research of some the characters in her story. Bravo Barbara bravo!
December 28, 2020
Repeated abuse of a dog that loved her was horrible. Thank god she didn’t have children.
January 12, 2021
Three things I need to make clear at the outset:
1. I despise beyond all measure the author's husband, Lord Blather of Butthole Bend, who renounced his Canadian citiizenship to accept his "title." He was found guilty of embezzlement and obstruction of justice but after spending time in prison HE WAS PARDONED BY DONALD TRUMP. You can take that for what it's worth. Lord Blather, whose excessive ego outshines the sun, also at one point compared himself to Nelson Mandela.
So that coloured my feelings about how to view this book.
2. I have been, in the far distant past, a fan of Barbara Amiel's writing and at one time lived on the street she had lived on briefly as a child, so was interested in the woman herself and her personal history. I was also curious about the allegation that it was originally Amiel's boasting about her vast collection of expensive clothing, furs and jewellery that brought about the investigation into her husband's fraudulent business dealings. And I guess I was just looking to be entertained by the adventures of this over-the-top, formerly Canadian couple.
3. I borrowed this doorstop of a book from my local library. There is no way on God's green earth I would put even a bent penny into the Blacks' pockets by purchasing anything either of them wrote.
So I guess you could say I had a bad attitude but good intentions.
So, this book. As far as the actual writing is concerned, I can't believe Barbara Amiel, who worked as a journalist for so many years, wrote this baroque monstrosity. It was a slogging fight for me to get through the overly wordy cannonball of spite and anger on display here, and instead of being delighted by the witty nastiness I was expecting (think Joan Rivers at her best) I was horrified by just how little this woman is inside all her hate and prejudice. Page after page after page of name-dropping. And more and more name-dropping. After a certain point I skipped to the photos in the middle of the book and it was, graphically speaking, just more name-dropping. I loved the pictures of a young Barbara and would have loved to read the simplified, non-vitriolic version of her early life. I put more effort into finding some information about her that I could hang on to but I finally gave up. It all just seemed hollow to me - lots of frosting with very little cake. Sorry Barbara. You could have made another interested friend here, or even an intrigued enemy. Sadly in the end, I just don't care much. 1 star.
1. I despise beyond all measure the author's husband, Lord Blather of Butthole Bend, who renounced his Canadian citiizenship to accept his "title." He was found guilty of embezzlement and obstruction of justice but after spending time in prison HE WAS PARDONED BY DONALD TRUMP. You can take that for what it's worth. Lord Blather, whose excessive ego outshines the sun, also at one point compared himself to Nelson Mandela.
So that coloured my feelings about how to view this book.
2. I have been, in the far distant past, a fan of Barbara Amiel's writing and at one time lived on the street she had lived on briefly as a child, so was interested in the woman herself and her personal history. I was also curious about the allegation that it was originally Amiel's boasting about her vast collection of expensive clothing, furs and jewellery that brought about the investigation into her husband's fraudulent business dealings. And I guess I was just looking to be entertained by the adventures of this over-the-top, formerly Canadian couple.
3. I borrowed this doorstop of a book from my local library. There is no way on God's green earth I would put even a bent penny into the Blacks' pockets by purchasing anything either of them wrote.
So I guess you could say I had a bad attitude but good intentions.
So, this book. As far as the actual writing is concerned, I can't believe Barbara Amiel, who worked as a journalist for so many years, wrote this baroque monstrosity. It was a slogging fight for me to get through the overly wordy cannonball of spite and anger on display here, and instead of being delighted by the witty nastiness I was expecting (think Joan Rivers at her best) I was horrified by just how little this woman is inside all her hate and prejudice. Page after page after page of name-dropping. And more and more name-dropping. After a certain point I skipped to the photos in the middle of the book and it was, graphically speaking, just more name-dropping. I loved the pictures of a young Barbara and would have loved to read the simplified, non-vitriolic version of her early life. I put more effort into finding some information about her that I could hang on to but I finally gave up. It all just seemed hollow to me - lots of frosting with very little cake. Sorry Barbara. You could have made another interested friend here, or even an intrigued enemy. Sadly in the end, I just don't care much. 1 star.
November 22, 2020
Poorly written, and absurdly long. Some good gossip, and social insight, but the self-indulgent, saccharine passages about her dogs and butterflies were irrelevant. I believe her account that her husband was innocent of much of the financial impropriety that he was accused of, but she is guilty of mixed metaphors, pomposity and stupidity.
December 28, 2020
The only reason I read this is that I personally know a certain number of people Amiel is lashing out at and I was wickedly curious to hear what she had to say. In the end, however, it was a little underwhelming. Apart from a few burning quips (which I thoroughly enjoyed), there really wasn't enough pulp to make this worth the 600 pages.
October 29, 2020
I found this book fascinating and exceptionally well written in a rather unique style. Barbara Amiel's detailed account of her life is remarkable and I found myself criticizing her for her obvious extravagance, which she readily admits to, and admiring her for her strength in having to endure all the trials and tribulations during her marriage to Conrad Black. Living in Canada but originally from England, I was especially interested in the legal system in both of those countries, as well as in the US. There were some tears to when I read about her beloved dogs and this showed another complex side of Barbara Amiel's character. I would recommend this memoir to anyone who remembers Conrad Black, he was and still is an icon in the modern history of Canada.
June 3, 2021
My rating is a tad biased since I've always enjoyed Barbara Amiel's writings. I like to say that there are only two journalists who I respect (there are probably others - none come to mind), Barbara and the late Christie Blatchford. Both are/were capable of writing "outside the box".
But on to this book. She might have titled it "Confessions" except she already used that title for her 1980 book, a combination autobiography and criticism of human rights tribunals. Also worth reading.
My first takeaway from Friends and Enemies is I'm really glad I'm not rich - it sounds horrible. (I wouldn't mind "comfortably well off" tho'). Having to maintain three or four houses, throw fancy dinner parties, attend same, jet back and forth to events.....nope, not interested. And the pretentious squandering of money is unbelievable. I guess we all try to keep up with the Jones's in our particular social milieu, but for most of us that means getting a new Honda Civic every 5 years because our friends did. It doesn't mean having to furnish our Manhattan apartment with two sets of sheets for each bedroom, with each set of handmade silk sheets costing "tens of thousands of dollars". Because you have to buy them from the same places as your friends do.
My second takeaway was that David Graham was a first rate A-hole. And a tenth rate A-hole. And every level of A-hole in between. But maybe I'm just jealous that he had so much money and so many girlfriends. He must have been really hot stuff in the sack or something - Barbara carries a torch for him throughout despite what seems like rude and abusive behaviour. And I don't understand - he made his money in cable TV in Toronto and Calgary, then moved to England to avoid taxes. Didn't the Beatles move out of England to avoid taxes?
She really loves her husband Conrad Black, and she paints a flattering portrait of him, and he probably really is a very good guy. And was doubtless victimized by the legal system. Absolutely. I must confess that I didn't really care for him way back when he started his own national Canadian newspaper to share his conservative views - I remember (correctly I hope) the first edition of the National Post which had a story about a Calgary family that had made "the largest donation to charity in Canadian history (at that time)", I think it was $23 million. It turned out that the charity in question was their own family foundation, so all that happened is that they took $23 million out of one pocket, put it in another pocket, and got a tax credit. The conservative viewpoint of what constitutes a "charity".
Nonetheless, her description of the legal proceedings is worth reading. I'll probably have to read Conrad's book now for more detail. The selection of jurors in Chicago - jurors who admit to a bias against rich people and that they can't be objective are still accepted.
I read Chrystia Freeland's book on "Plutocrats" and found it to be a mostly rambling series of anecdotes about talking to very rich people, with no real point. This book also has anecdotes about the very wealthy, but they're interesting anecdotes. Well worth reading, in my view, but I suppose that depends on where your interests lie.
T
But on to this book. She might have titled it "Confessions" except she already used that title for her 1980 book, a combination autobiography and criticism of human rights tribunals. Also worth reading.
My first takeaway from Friends and Enemies is I'm really glad I'm not rich - it sounds horrible. (I wouldn't mind "comfortably well off" tho'). Having to maintain three or four houses, throw fancy dinner parties, attend same, jet back and forth to events.....nope, not interested. And the pretentious squandering of money is unbelievable. I guess we all try to keep up with the Jones's in our particular social milieu, but for most of us that means getting a new Honda Civic every 5 years because our friends did. It doesn't mean having to furnish our Manhattan apartment with two sets of sheets for each bedroom, with each set of handmade silk sheets costing "tens of thousands of dollars". Because you have to buy them from the same places as your friends do.
My second takeaway was that David Graham was a first rate A-hole. And a tenth rate A-hole. And every level of A-hole in between. But maybe I'm just jealous that he had so much money and so many girlfriends. He must have been really hot stuff in the sack or something - Barbara carries a torch for him throughout despite what seems like rude and abusive behaviour. And I don't understand - he made his money in cable TV in Toronto and Calgary, then moved to England to avoid taxes. Didn't the Beatles move out of England to avoid taxes?
She really loves her husband Conrad Black, and she paints a flattering portrait of him, and he probably really is a very good guy. And was doubtless victimized by the legal system. Absolutely. I must confess that I didn't really care for him way back when he started his own national Canadian newspaper to share his conservative views - I remember (correctly I hope) the first edition of the National Post which had a story about a Calgary family that had made "the largest donation to charity in Canadian history (at that time)", I think it was $23 million. It turned out that the charity in question was their own family foundation, so all that happened is that they took $23 million out of one pocket, put it in another pocket, and got a tax credit. The conservative viewpoint of what constitutes a "charity".
Nonetheless, her description of the legal proceedings is worth reading. I'll probably have to read Conrad's book now for more detail. The selection of jurors in Chicago - jurors who admit to a bias against rich people and that they can't be objective are still accepted.
I read Chrystia Freeland's book on "Plutocrats" and found it to be a mostly rambling series of anecdotes about talking to very rich people, with no real point. This book also has anecdotes about the very wealthy, but they're interesting anecdotes. Well worth reading, in my view, but I suppose that depends on where your interests lie.
T
November 13, 2020
I had heard of these 2 celebrities but really knew nothing about them .
From about page 70 - around the time she meets and marries Conrad Black - this is a blistering read , un put downable..... the completely bonkers ascent to the top of the social mountain - where money magically appears , you move from London to New York to Palm Beach following the season ( what joy ) ... you follow the couture season and have your very own fashion designer come and help you choose from the different ranges .... your friends are hundreds of millions or billionaires .... you receive continuous streams of social engagements ( what joy ) if your friends aren’t rich they are celebrities or well known journalists or senior politicians or public figures ... how could this possibly go wrong ??
Completely bonkers ascent to this ..... followed by slow social judicial and pecuniary strangulation over the course of the next 15 years ...
That in a short paragraph is Barbara’s story from 1995 to 2015 say.
As a bemused onlooker it is a thoroughly gripping tale !!! Barbara is likeable but also she’s a bit scary . She’s not a wall flower : she’s opinionated and shall we say ambitious. Without children of her own and without a family life growing up, she lives life from assignment to assignment . She doesn’t “acquire wealth “. She’s not avaricious. She’s a highly sexed party animal - and she’s looking for trouble and action. I’d say she bores easily !
She is very loyal to her husband. ( her 4th ) and she never disses him when he drags through years of court hearings and they have come out the other side and are still happily together .. though older . No longer at the head of the smart set .
Through the prism of Barbara’s narration it is difficult to decide if Conrad is guilty , a thief , a baddie or not. I felt I got to know him and I liked him - a bright confident bully of a retiring academic on the one hand and a socially and monetarily ambitious tycoon on the other. She refers to herself as a snob but to Conrad as someone who likes any one regardless of background. That is quite endearing .
I thought the way Lady Black ended her story was quite bewitching. After 550 pages of life story she moves to the present tense and one can believe she really is at home and Conrad is saying “ come on let’s go out with these youngsters I’ve just met ....” she sets the scene. It is quite moving . She is sitting writing the last pages . We are in her study. We have caught up.
It’s a really fabulous read. Really exciting. A sort of morality tale told by one of the protagonists who , it has to be said , seems very unwilling to draw too many conclusions about her life’s lessons .
From about page 70 - around the time she meets and marries Conrad Black - this is a blistering read , un put downable..... the completely bonkers ascent to the top of the social mountain - where money magically appears , you move from London to New York to Palm Beach following the season ( what joy ) ... you follow the couture season and have your very own fashion designer come and help you choose from the different ranges .... your friends are hundreds of millions or billionaires .... you receive continuous streams of social engagements ( what joy ) if your friends aren’t rich they are celebrities or well known journalists or senior politicians or public figures ... how could this possibly go wrong ??
Completely bonkers ascent to this ..... followed by slow social judicial and pecuniary strangulation over the course of the next 15 years ...
That in a short paragraph is Barbara’s story from 1995 to 2015 say.
As a bemused onlooker it is a thoroughly gripping tale !!! Barbara is likeable but also she’s a bit scary . She’s not a wall flower : she’s opinionated and shall we say ambitious. Without children of her own and without a family life growing up, she lives life from assignment to assignment . She doesn’t “acquire wealth “. She’s not avaricious. She’s a highly sexed party animal - and she’s looking for trouble and action. I’d say she bores easily !
She is very loyal to her husband. ( her 4th ) and she never disses him when he drags through years of court hearings and they have come out the other side and are still happily together .. though older . No longer at the head of the smart set .
Through the prism of Barbara’s narration it is difficult to decide if Conrad is guilty , a thief , a baddie or not. I felt I got to know him and I liked him - a bright confident bully of a retiring academic on the one hand and a socially and monetarily ambitious tycoon on the other. She refers to herself as a snob but to Conrad as someone who likes any one regardless of background. That is quite endearing .
I thought the way Lady Black ended her story was quite bewitching. After 550 pages of life story she moves to the present tense and one can believe she really is at home and Conrad is saying “ come on let’s go out with these youngsters I’ve just met ....” she sets the scene. It is quite moving . She is sitting writing the last pages . We are in her study. We have caught up.
It’s a really fabulous read. Really exciting. A sort of morality tale told by one of the protagonists who , it has to be said , seems very unwilling to draw too many conclusions about her life’s lessons .
October 22, 2020
Fabulous!
November 15, 2020
Very well written.
F. Scott Fitzgerald’s quote comes to mind.
“Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me”
They sure are.
F. Scott Fitzgerald’s quote comes to mind.
“Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me”
They sure are.
February 21, 2021
Oh Babs, oh, oh Babs. Oh Lady Black of Cross Temper. You have written a fabulously mean and riveting autobiography. What a story told --so acidly and so well.
For those of you who don't know, Barbara Amiel Black is Canada's answer to Ann Coulter, with a dash of Mata Hari tossed in. Amiel had a long and controversial career as an able journalist with extreme right wing opinions in Canada before she decamped to Great Britain and marriage to business mogul Conrad Black, as well as a heady life in the 90s and early 2000s filled with celebs, jewels, homes in Palm Beach, NYC and London, and seemingly, pots and pots of money. Then it all came crashing down when Conrad was charged with financial malfeisance, prison and ruin (well almost, he's probably down to his last six or seven million) in 2003. The couple are currently marooned somewhere inside his family home in the tony Bridle Path neighbourhood in boring old Toronto, oh boo hoo.
But Amiel is still able to roll with the punches as well as pull a few of her own. This is a wonderfully catty and vituperative tale about a huge rise in fortune and a long long fall from grace, told by an able storyteller with malice in her heart and revenge on her mind --to the extent that she actually lists her both friends and enemies at the end of this tome (the friend list is a bit brief).
So let's get to it: the beginning of the saga is a bit sketchy and disappointing, Amiel being of the "only an unexamined life is worth living" school of thought. She skips over much of her childhood, though we do learn that she is from a British family and that she, her sister, her mother and stepfather left London in 1952 to settle in the cold confines of Canada. Her beloved father died in 1956, though Amiel did not learn that he had killed himself until three years later; she rowed with her difficult mother constantly and was forced to fend for herself at 14, living in rooming houses and working to support herself while finishing high school. No wonder she has little sympathy for the poor and dispossessed.
After college Amiel had a brief unhappy first marriage, and then embarked on her journalism career, eventually hooking up with George Jonas,a Hungarian writer who she married and divorced in the 70s, and with whom she remained on good terms until his death, even though they fought bitterly and he often, as they say, knocked her around.(Men seem to get a better edit than women in this book and, no doubt, in Amiel's life.)
Then in the late 80s, Amiel met and married a wealthy Canadian cable tv mogul who treated her badly, demanded a prenup on her wedding night, and generally acted like an unmarried playboy. They were living in London when she ran into Conrad and eventually marriage, wealth and fame.
Canadians often said Conrad was a millionaire who acted like and wanted to be a billionaire. He bought the eminent Telegraph, a rightwing newspaper and proceed to launch himself into the world of the wealthy, the great and not so great. Two of the best chapters here deal with a scathing take on WASPy Palm Beach which refused to let Jews into its country clubs even into the 1990s, (Amiel is a Jew and unrepentently pro Israel), and a bitchy expose of the uber rich wives of billionaires she was forced to chum around with, like Annette de la Renta and Jayne Wrightsmsn, who turned their backs on her and Conrad after their fall. She also writes with chilling authority on the awfulness of the American prison system and what it feels like to be blamed and shamed by those, who in many ways, were every bit as venal and callous as the Blacks. You almost feel sympathy for her then she tells you Ghislaine Maxwell couldn't help abetting her notorious sexabuser boyfriend Jeffrey Epstein as she was mad about the boy, AND that Bill Cosby shouldn't really be charged eith sexual assault as everyone involved with him was on drugs, so how could his guilt be proved.....well, you get my drift.
Anyway, it's a gripping story from one of the great contrarians of our times. And yes, for those out there who don't know, Amiel was and probably still is, unbelieveably beautiful. She looks like a cross between Monica Belluci and Natalie Wood.
Los of fun. Margaraet Atwood (a friend) actually wrote a novel about a femme fatale supposedly based on Amiel. Am I jealous? Yes, but big enough to say, this poisonous cocktail was sweet.
For those of you who don't know, Barbara Amiel Black is Canada's answer to Ann Coulter, with a dash of Mata Hari tossed in. Amiel had a long and controversial career as an able journalist with extreme right wing opinions in Canada before she decamped to Great Britain and marriage to business mogul Conrad Black, as well as a heady life in the 90s and early 2000s filled with celebs, jewels, homes in Palm Beach, NYC and London, and seemingly, pots and pots of money. Then it all came crashing down when Conrad was charged with financial malfeisance, prison and ruin (well almost, he's probably down to his last six or seven million) in 2003. The couple are currently marooned somewhere inside his family home in the tony Bridle Path neighbourhood in boring old Toronto, oh boo hoo.
But Amiel is still able to roll with the punches as well as pull a few of her own. This is a wonderfully catty and vituperative tale about a huge rise in fortune and a long long fall from grace, told by an able storyteller with malice in her heart and revenge on her mind --to the extent that she actually lists her both friends and enemies at the end of this tome (the friend list is a bit brief).
So let's get to it: the beginning of the saga is a bit sketchy and disappointing, Amiel being of the "only an unexamined life is worth living" school of thought. She skips over much of her childhood, though we do learn that she is from a British family and that she, her sister, her mother and stepfather left London in 1952 to settle in the cold confines of Canada. Her beloved father died in 1956, though Amiel did not learn that he had killed himself until three years later; she rowed with her difficult mother constantly and was forced to fend for herself at 14, living in rooming houses and working to support herself while finishing high school. No wonder she has little sympathy for the poor and dispossessed.
After college Amiel had a brief unhappy first marriage, and then embarked on her journalism career, eventually hooking up with George Jonas,a Hungarian writer who she married and divorced in the 70s, and with whom she remained on good terms until his death, even though they fought bitterly and he often, as they say, knocked her around.(Men seem to get a better edit than women in this book and, no doubt, in Amiel's life.)
Then in the late 80s, Amiel met and married a wealthy Canadian cable tv mogul who treated her badly, demanded a prenup on her wedding night, and generally acted like an unmarried playboy. They were living in London when she ran into Conrad and eventually marriage, wealth and fame.
Canadians often said Conrad was a millionaire who acted like and wanted to be a billionaire. He bought the eminent Telegraph, a rightwing newspaper and proceed to launch himself into the world of the wealthy, the great and not so great. Two of the best chapters here deal with a scathing take on WASPy Palm Beach which refused to let Jews into its country clubs even into the 1990s, (Amiel is a Jew and unrepentently pro Israel), and a bitchy expose of the uber rich wives of billionaires she was forced to chum around with, like Annette de la Renta and Jayne Wrightsmsn, who turned their backs on her and Conrad after their fall. She also writes with chilling authority on the awfulness of the American prison system and what it feels like to be blamed and shamed by those, who in many ways, were every bit as venal and callous as the Blacks. You almost feel sympathy for her then she tells you Ghislaine Maxwell couldn't help abetting her notorious sexabuser boyfriend Jeffrey Epstein as she was mad about the boy, AND that Bill Cosby shouldn't really be charged eith sexual assault as everyone involved with him was on drugs, so how could his guilt be proved.....well, you get my drift.
Anyway, it's a gripping story from one of the great contrarians of our times. And yes, for those out there who don't know, Amiel was and probably still is, unbelieveably beautiful. She looks like a cross between Monica Belluci and Natalie Wood.
Los of fun. Margaraet Atwood (a friend) actually wrote a novel about a femme fatale supposedly based on Amiel. Am I jealous? Yes, but big enough to say, this poisonous cocktail was sweet.
November 30, 2020
Very long and not for everyone. But I saw Amiel for years in the pages of Vanity Fair, Vogue, W and thought she was so glamorous and gorgeous. A journalist married to Conrad Black, the media baron (later Lord Black), Barbara had a tough early life and marriages, but what a life-she was an adventuress.
Black went to prison after their years of an uber rich lifestyle in Palm Beach, London, Toronto and New York. This book is Barbara's answer to all who deserted them and she takes no prisoners. And she can write.
Black went to prison after their years of an uber rich lifestyle in Palm Beach, London, Toronto and New York. This book is Barbara's answer to all who deserted them and she takes no prisoners. And she can write.
January 24, 2021
Somewhere between admitting to kicking an ex-boyfriend's dog and defending Bill Cosby's use of Quaaludes to rape women, it becomes clear that Barbara Amiel is not a good person.
Although a good writer -- decades as a columnist for Macleans and elsewhere is not a fluke -- Amiel's poor little rich girl whining about how she and her husband Conrad Black were unfairly persecuted by Canadian and American authorities gets tiresome, especially as it stretches on for 300 pages. It would be more tolerable if at any point she offers any kind of explanation as to how Black's business dealing were legal. Instead she just complains about how Black's lawyers never truly understood the case and prosecutors had an axe to grind.
I do have some sympathy for Amiel, as it's clear that she has never addressed the traumas she faced as a child, adolescent, or teenager. It's a shame that she didn't take some of the money she spent on haute couture and instead invest it with a good psychotherapist.
Although a good writer -- decades as a columnist for Macleans and elsewhere is not a fluke -- Amiel's poor little rich girl whining about how she and her husband Conrad Black were unfairly persecuted by Canadian and American authorities gets tiresome, especially as it stretches on for 300 pages. It would be more tolerable if at any point she offers any kind of explanation as to how Black's business dealing were legal. Instead she just complains about how Black's lawyers never truly understood the case and prosecutors had an axe to grind.
I do have some sympathy for Amiel, as it's clear that she has never addressed the traumas she faced as a child, adolescent, or teenager. It's a shame that she didn't take some of the money she spent on haute couture and instead invest it with a good psychotherapist.
November 6, 2020
Shockingly honest and fascinating I sometimes felt ashamed for the author by such candor and self loathing. A full lived life with many high highs but some great lows. How she survives shows a strong willed women that is sometimes lost in self pity. I did enjoy the hard climb to success and admire her for it. What I did not understand was her fixation on what high society thought of her. Interesting at times when she visits the grand dames of New York I felt a bit like a fly on the wall. Very sad and long winded her husband’s trial and tribulations. The denouement was a bit lacking but very surprised how she ends it.
February 13, 2021
Much to my surprise, I ended up really enjoying this book of Barbara Amiel's life. The first 80 pages - I did NOT like her and even at the end I could no say that I liked her. The book was entertaining, as well as, disturbing at times. She was a woman who had made herself from relatively humble beginnings. The book was not always to easy to read. I ended up getting sidetracked by looking up many of the people she had named in the book from her London life and New York City life. I got a bit lost on Conrad Black's legal difficulties - was he guilty or not.
Did Not Finish
February 11, 2021Interesting but perplexing. Pacing is just terrible and she clearly does not have an understanding of what readers would find interesting. She went through multiple decades in just a few pages, and with 400+ pages left it looks like it'll just be details of her husband's legal problems. She just didn't spend enough time on her loose and crazy early years. For example, there are two paragraphs about her time in a Mozambique prison but she goes on and on about dinner parties.
December 7, 2020
The rich are different. Rather a long slog, skipped many pages. Author feels she has earned the right to spill it all and be self indulgent.
December 28, 2020
Most enjoyable one-star read, ever?
December 28, 2020
I absolutely LOVED this book. Her writing is worth every page, every sentence.
January 29, 2021
I lived in London a big chunk of my life and I was there when it was all happening.
Mrs Black writing is witty, frank and her 'revenge' book is a very interesting insight into their side of the story.
Mrs Black writing is witty, frank and her 'revenge' book is a very interesting insight into their side of the story.
February 18, 2024
I listened to the audiobook version of this long autobiography, hopping over the chapters devoted to her beloved dogs.
Ms. Amiel is a professional columnist with a superlative vocabulary. Her graceful prose easily compensates for the self-absorption she occasionally embraces. It's a temptation indulged in between the lines of many autobiographies. Amiel is honest enough to "own" her choices, as they say. Beyond the fluid prose, two aspects of the subject matter elevate the book.
The first is its importance as social history. Amiel earned her place in the fastest social circle of her era in New York City, not by inheritance or as a trophy wife, but as a top journalist partner and spouse of the media warrior Lord Conrad Black. When her husband's newspaper empire faced legal and financial ruin, Amiel chronicles the social blowback the couple faced. How does such a shunning unfold? It's all here, names named, and she's as hard on herself as on her friends-became-enemies. If you watched the HBO drama "The Gilded Age" you'll know what social signals may have been sent along 1870's Fifth Avenue. In "Friends and Enemies" you learn the parallel manners, mores, and grounds for ostracization at the highest level of society in late 20th century Manhattan.
When the financial structure underpinning the Blacks is under attack, a famed financier tells Amiel that the color of one of her beloved precious stones is a bit off. Keep in mind Amiel's humble class origins, the failed marriages, the culture of the social lions and lionesses around her, and the stone's true value diminishes further. The circumstances of financial and social decline measure her loyalty, and she passes the brutal test. Barbara Amiel didn't grow up in an intact family herself, but she was loyal to her husband throughout and after his painful public ordeal.
Which brings us to the second historic importance of this work, the years long, relentless and specific account of the prosecutions -- really persecutions -- of her husband in American jurisdictions with follow-on Canadian indignities. One of the sad truths of 21st century history is that conservative public figures in North America have found themselves up against weaponized legal and political forces. Mark Steyn, Conrad Black, and Donald J. Trump have all been there, or are currently experiencing its miseries. Conrad Black has now been exonerated of the accusations, but how do you reclaim a reputation so persistently attacked for years by his enemies?
Lord Black's pardon by President Trump came only after a three year incarceration, and more than a decade after the social excommunication of Lord and Lady. The legal ups and downs impacting the couple are all here, an operatic swing of fates. As the tone darkens, Ms. Amiel's journey from socialite to social pariah demands resilience. Somehow, they pull through. In the end we must ask why this happened. A mere overreaction to scandals of the Enron era? Or something more sinister? Did his politics and her social prominence and opulent taste make them just too tempting a target?
It's almost as if the Blacks became a symbolic sacrifice for the social elites to offer, an appeasement for those stoking the flames of class hatred. Can't throw liberals on the pyre, they're paid up. Better to go after the foreign media mogul who dared to own a conservative daily in Chicago, and influential papers in London, Jerusalem, and Canada. It's a sad story, but it's true.
This reader would have liked to hear more about the business side: the competition with Rupert Murdoch; the response to the historic decline of print as the internet emerged; how Conrad Black managed to write a well regarded biography of FDR while all this was going on; and a period where everyone he booked for his TV interviews wound up running some country or another. That, however, would be his story and this is hers.
Her life story might have a larger potential audience, since readers seem fascinated with the lifestyles of the rich and famous. It's all here, with details like the overspecialization that makes servants of the royal court less suited for multitasking in lesser grand homes. The social sweep is broad, from the proper room configuration necessary for entertaining royal dinner guests, to the protocols for visiting a federal prison. From the top tier of the 1% down through hard times, it's a story of loyalty and survival.
Ms. Amiel is a professional columnist with a superlative vocabulary. Her graceful prose easily compensates for the self-absorption she occasionally embraces. It's a temptation indulged in between the lines of many autobiographies. Amiel is honest enough to "own" her choices, as they say. Beyond the fluid prose, two aspects of the subject matter elevate the book.
The first is its importance as social history. Amiel earned her place in the fastest social circle of her era in New York City, not by inheritance or as a trophy wife, but as a top journalist partner and spouse of the media warrior Lord Conrad Black. When her husband's newspaper empire faced legal and financial ruin, Amiel chronicles the social blowback the couple faced. How does such a shunning unfold? It's all here, names named, and she's as hard on herself as on her friends-became-enemies. If you watched the HBO drama "The Gilded Age" you'll know what social signals may have been sent along 1870's Fifth Avenue. In "Friends and Enemies" you learn the parallel manners, mores, and grounds for ostracization at the highest level of society in late 20th century Manhattan.
When the financial structure underpinning the Blacks is under attack, a famed financier tells Amiel that the color of one of her beloved precious stones is a bit off. Keep in mind Amiel's humble class origins, the failed marriages, the culture of the social lions and lionesses around her, and the stone's true value diminishes further. The circumstances of financial and social decline measure her loyalty, and she passes the brutal test. Barbara Amiel didn't grow up in an intact family herself, but she was loyal to her husband throughout and after his painful public ordeal.
Which brings us to the second historic importance of this work, the years long, relentless and specific account of the prosecutions -- really persecutions -- of her husband in American jurisdictions with follow-on Canadian indignities. One of the sad truths of 21st century history is that conservative public figures in North America have found themselves up against weaponized legal and political forces. Mark Steyn, Conrad Black, and Donald J. Trump have all been there, or are currently experiencing its miseries. Conrad Black has now been exonerated of the accusations, but how do you reclaim a reputation so persistently attacked for years by his enemies?
Lord Black's pardon by President Trump came only after a three year incarceration, and more than a decade after the social excommunication of Lord and Lady. The legal ups and downs impacting the couple are all here, an operatic swing of fates. As the tone darkens, Ms. Amiel's journey from socialite to social pariah demands resilience. Somehow, they pull through. In the end we must ask why this happened. A mere overreaction to scandals of the Enron era? Or something more sinister? Did his politics and her social prominence and opulent taste make them just too tempting a target?
It's almost as if the Blacks became a symbolic sacrifice for the social elites to offer, an appeasement for those stoking the flames of class hatred. Can't throw liberals on the pyre, they're paid up. Better to go after the foreign media mogul who dared to own a conservative daily in Chicago, and influential papers in London, Jerusalem, and Canada. It's a sad story, but it's true.
This reader would have liked to hear more about the business side: the competition with Rupert Murdoch; the response to the historic decline of print as the internet emerged; how Conrad Black managed to write a well regarded biography of FDR while all this was going on; and a period where everyone he booked for his TV interviews wound up running some country or another. That, however, would be his story and this is hers.
Her life story might have a larger potential audience, since readers seem fascinated with the lifestyles of the rich and famous. It's all here, with details like the overspecialization that makes servants of the royal court less suited for multitasking in lesser grand homes. The social sweep is broad, from the proper room configuration necessary for entertaining royal dinner guests, to the protocols for visiting a federal prison. From the top tier of the 1% down through hard times, it's a story of loyalty and survival.
February 7, 2021
Prime explainer for my rating system: Here's a doorstopper of nearly 600 p of a very out there tale of quasi-rags to riches, displaying an abundance of detail of zero interest or relatability to most, and a dearth of tact or humility (in several instances, dramatic descriptions of Mrs. Conrad Black's hardship are followed in the next sentence with some action, habit or object available only to the fabulously wealthy.) But for all the self-indulgence, there's also self-awareness: The author never pretends that her life is anything but great theatre, she has wit, humor, writing skill and, at the age of 80, DGAF anymore. The only reason she can trash-talk as she does and get away with it. So, my 4 stars are not for celebrating her, but for readability and entertainment.
February 27, 2021
While I don’t particularly admire Barbara Amiel's view on life (or her politics), she does write particularly well, which made this autobiography an interesting read. I had a hard time getting my head around things like a New York apartment with a poorly placed dining room, or a $100,000 monthly spend to keep up a 27,000 square foot house, still her writing made it all the more engaging. I found the trials of Conrad and the “travesty of justice” (my words, not hers) to be overlong. Also - the list of friends and enemies at the end (listed by country, no less) - who does that?
November 9, 2020
I had no idea who this woman was but had read an article about this book in the Daily Beast. Barbara has lived a very interesting life and the book was very intriguing. Billionaires have such interesting problems. This book was very well written and dense. If you are looking for a book about the rich and famous with some Law & Order thrown in this is a great book!
April 25, 2021
Reading the parody columns "written" by Barbara Amiel in Frank magazine I thought the magazine was being mean. I didn't believe any human being could be that pompous, superficial, cold-hearted and utterly clueless.
After reading this book I now believe Frank magazine was being relatively kind to Amiel.
After reading this book I now believe Frank magazine was being relatively kind to Amiel.
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