Parenting Gifted Kids: Tips for Raising Happy and Successful Children

by James R. Delisle

Delisle puts forward 10 tips to parents of gifted children ideas that reflect attitude and approach and allow for introspection and change, rather than quick, do-it-tonight solutions. Topics of interest include understanding a child s giftedness, working with the school system, dealing with perfectionism, and being role models for kids.

Genres: Parenting, Education, Nonfiction, Family, Psychology

230 pages, Paperback

First published April 6, 2002

Reviews

[QOH · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the third book about parenting gifted kids that I've read. Or maybe fourth. I try not to be too specific, because I don't want to be THAT MOM. (But I am relatively certain that I have a gifted kid, OK?)

I hate the label gifted: I hated it as a kid and I hate it as a parent. I hate that because I have a bright/gifted kid, I will have to fight, fight, fight to get her resources in public school classrooms that are more concerned with kids who are performing grade level.

This book gives the usual advice to parents of gifted kids to encourage their children's interests, to be interested themselves, and to help their children avoid perfectionism. OK, right. Got it.

Where this book went beyond the typical was in discussing how school systems view gifted kids (and their oh-so-annoying parents) and provides advice in how negotiate the system and get resources allocated for children.

Delisle also discusses what it means to be a gifted adult - because, you know, gifted doesn't wear off when you hit adulthood. You still have those same intense sensitivities, interest levels, passions, and so on. (And so in reading a book to help my daughter, I also gained insight into myself and my husband. Win.)

It's a short book and a quick read. Should I have spent $12 for it used at Powell's? Probably not. It's more a library book. But I am glad that I'll have it around for my husband to read, and for me to reread as time passes.

I deducted a star because the author quotes his own research. I. Hate. That. Also, he misquoted the Earl of Rochester.

[Amanda Espinoza · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some recent test scores confirmed my suspicions about one of my children being gifted. Gifted kids are smart academically, but sometimes they can be hard to handle so I turned to this book for answers. I really liked how I felt like I was reading a conversation instead of a dry research paper. Also, the chapters and quotes from gifted kids helped make this an easy read. 

This book taught me to embrace my gifted kid, because you can't change them. You don't need to rush a gifted a kid through adolescence, because they have the rest of their lives to be adults. I also loved how the author pointed out that gifted kids are still kids and you can't expect them to act more mature just because they have a large vocabulary. I also learned how I had gifted skills as a student, but I was jaded and wasn't encouraged. 

My favorite chapter is titled "Write your dreams in pencil." Even through college we can't expect a student to know their career choice until they have chances to experience different careers. I loved the story of how the author supported their son through a major change in college. 

The beginning of the book talked about how to advocate for your gifted child in public and private schools. I wish he had addressed homeschool, but it confirmed that homeschool is definitely the best option for my advanced kid. 

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the first "parenting a gifted child" book I have read, simply because it's the first one I found. Since I have a teaching background, I'm familiar with gifted education and differentiation, but am looking for more information on handling the "quirks" that come along with the daily life of my "gifted" son. I'd like to learn more about how to handle some of the emotional intensity that my son deals with when his extreme perception collides with his 4 year old world. And also, how to encourage his creativity and interest in learning without having that overtake everything else in his life. This just isn't that book. It is for parents of older gifted kids - kids who are feeling like "nerds" or whatever because they are smart. And I felt like it was pretty general parenting information overall. Also, I agree with other reviewers that it was disappointing that the author spent so much time talking about fighting for public education rights/services and did not talk at all about homeschooling or other non-traditional schooling options.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much -- but I can't quote the whole book here. And I learned as much about myself as about my child I think -- which is great. I'm always concerned about how much or how little I'm doing as a parent -- is it enough? And I love his answer -- get over it. Move on. Many other aspects of this book were terrific -- about advocating for your child, about feelings of elitism, etc. Enjoyable and helpful.

[Leanne Ellis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Delisle. I've seen him speak multiple times. He's so genuine and has a great set of priorities about life, and all of that comes through in the book.

[Carissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were a few things I found helpful in this book. However, it was very broad. It talked about young kids all the way to kids going to college. It also seemed out dated in a few aspects such as ADHD and gender biases. There were also a few things I just didn't agree with. I would like to have been able to give this book a 2.5 rating. I don't think I would recommend this book to fellow parents with gifted kids. The plus side to the book is that it is a very fast read.

[Alysia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such great advice in this book! I borrowed it from the library, but would definitely consider purchasing it to refer back to in the coming years. There are so many challenges to raising a gifted child, and this book addresses all of them with a realness that I truly appreciated.

[Ida · Rating 3 out of 5]

i did like this one because it was more about ME! than the other one. turns out adults can be deprived of services too, i love having things to blame for my weight gain.

[Lindsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a parent of a gifted child, this book was incredibly helpful and insightful!

[Alyssa Hanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first half of the book was stronger than the second half.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

James Delisle is a reassuring and knowledgeable voice in the sea of advice for parents of gifted children. This short, readable book is by far the most sensible thing I've read so far in how to be a decent parent to children who are more and need more. You'll find common sense strategies for different ages, how to tailor a learning program to fit the needs of various types of gifted children, and what to do when the abilities don't match up with the motivation.

I've never been disappointed by Delisle's work, and this is no exception. If you've got a high-octane child, this should be on your reading list.

[Catherine Gillespie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Parenting Gifted Kids focuses less on teaching and more on the day to day aspects of living with and raising a gifted kid. In addition to learning differently, gifted kids just think differently, and so sometimes the parenting tactics you read about don’t work as advertised (at least that has been my experience). Delisle offers a lot of help in that area, both in unpacking common tendencies and characteristics of gifted kids, and in giving practical advice for how to handle things.

{Read my full review here}

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Five stars because of its sense of humor and relevance to my current life (parenting a spacey-smart, highly gifted kid and pondering strategies and schooling we can all embrace), and for the author's expansive and thoughtful definition of the characteristics of giftedness, success, and what constitutes a good life. His habit of starting sentences with "Too," annoyed that mess out of me, and I was a bit put off by the preciousness of some of the "gifted children speak" segments (I just don't know any kids who actually talk thusly), but those are minor and personal quibbles.

[Charity · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you think your child is gifted or not, you will appreciate the fact that James Delisle is level headed in his approach to understanding kids. I love his approach to giftedness, and appreciate his laid back view of helping each person find happiness in who they are as an individual. I would love to have had him as a teacher, and I would love to emulate him as a teacher. I feel better equipped to parent my own children after reading this book.

[Randi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Let me start with this disclaimer: I take all "parenting" books with a grain of salt, hoping to gain some insight into my children or myself, but not prescribing to any as the Bible. This book served to provide insight into my child and myself in many ways. There were many enlightening moments for me in this book. I definitely recommend it to anyone with a gifted child.

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delisle writes with great logic, common sense, humor, and insight. I recommend this for gifted adults, with or without kids. I would have liked to give it 5 stars...but I was disappointed that the author completely ignored the topic of homeschooling, focusing rather on the needs of gifted kids within the schools.

[Lark · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book in less than an hour at Barnes and Noble on my Nook. It has fantastic information for parents just starting to navigate public schools with their gifted kids. It also provides insight into behaviors and traits that some of us have carried into adulthood, not realizing that we are still gifted.

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! The amazing thing about it is how much I learned about my children and their school experiences, myself and my school experiences, and even about several of my sons-in-law. I would love to know what any of you think of this book.

[Marissa Morrison · Rating 4 out of 5]

James Delisle wants to help parents be positively minded about their kids. Nothing wrong with that, but I think I've read this message in a few other parenting books already. I don't think I learned much here.

[Laurel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good insights and helpful information. Most of the second half deals with how to handle the public school system. I was suprised that homeschooling was not even mentioned since often that is the best option for gifted kids.

[Sheri Gauld · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book on what gifted means and how to help them through their daily challenges (with school officials or just with how they feel each day). There are so many great messages in this book no matter if your child is gifted or not. I highly recommend this read.

[Letty · Rating 4 out of 5]

If my kids were younger and I was just starting out school with them, I would definitely buy this book. As it is, I borrowed it, but am glad I read it, both as a parent of gifted boys and a gifted adult (yes, I learned, it's okay to say that!).

[Amy Blackburn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Take charge of your child's education
How to grow up creatively gifted
Overexcitabilities
Teaching Kids to Care

These are some of the topics I found interesting in this book.

[Christy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was really interesting, but his writing style really bothered me.

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Jim Delisle. Got to meet you on this book tour... you completely changed my ideas about parenting our smart kiddos....

[Brenda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful!

[Rajashree Rao · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book for parents to gifted children. A true companion to guide a little special child.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was good, semi-helpful, not exactly what I was looking for. Made me reconsider some educational plans (testing, advocacy, etc.).

[Renee]

Imformative so far. I've learned a few new things.

[Newland · Rating 4 out of 5]

must read if interested in topic