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The People We Choose
When Calliope Silversmith meets her new neighbor Max, their chemistry is instantaneous, but the revelation of her biological father's identity throws her whole life into disarray.
Calliope Silversmith has always had just two friends in her small Pennsylvania town, Ginger and Noah, and she's fine with that. She's never wanted anything more than her best friends, her moms, their house in the woods, and their family-run yoga studio--except maybe knowing who her sperm donor is. Her curiosity has been building for years, and she can finally find out this summer when she turns eighteen.
But when Max and his family move into the sad old house across the woods from Calliope, she realizes it's nice to get to know someone new, so nice that she decides to break her no dating rule. The stability of her longtime trio wavers as she and Max start to spend more and more time together.
When Calliope finally finds out who her sperm donor is, she learns a truth more shocking and unfathomable than she could have ever dreamed: her donor is Max's father. How is this even possible? As she and Max struggle to redefine their friendship, Calliope realizes that she can turn a horrific situation into something positive by recognizing and accepting that family is both the one we are born into and the one we choose to make.
Calliope Silversmith has always had just two friends in her small Pennsylvania town, Ginger and Noah, and she's fine with that. She's never wanted anything more than her best friends, her moms, their house in the woods, and their family-run yoga studio--except maybe knowing who her sperm donor is. Her curiosity has been building for years, and she can finally find out this summer when she turns eighteen.
But when Max and his family move into the sad old house across the woods from Calliope, she realizes it's nice to get to know someone new, so nice that she decides to break her no dating rule. The stability of her longtime trio wavers as she and Max start to spend more and more time together.
When Calliope finally finds out who her sperm donor is, she learns a truth more shocking and unfathomable than she could have ever dreamed: her donor is Max's father. How is this even possible? As she and Max struggle to redefine their friendship, Calliope realizes that she can turn a horrific situation into something positive by recognizing and accepting that family is both the one we are born into and the one we choose to make.
304 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 4, 2021
6 people are currently reading
2097 people want to read
About the author
Katelyn Detweiler
5 books136 followersKatelyn Detweiler was born and raised in Pennsylvania, living in a centuries-old farmhouse surrounded by fields and woods—a setting that fueled her childhood imagination and, many years later, inspired her YA debut, Immaculate. Katelyn is a writer by night (and weekend) and a literary agent by day, representing books for all ages and across all genres. She currently lives, works, and writes in Brooklyn.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
December 2, 2021
DON'T READ THE GR SUMMARY... BEST TO GO INTO THIS ONE COMPLETELY BLIND. I say that about all books, but it's especially relevant in this one.
"I'm going to have to chug the coffee down straight. Desperate times. But you are NOT off the hook."
"Oh?" I brace my feet against the porch.
"Nope. We're going for a walk in the woods." He stands up, salutes me, and takes all three porch steps in one leap.
I watch until he disappears back into the woods alongside our house, the wild trees eating him alive. Until it's almost like I did imagine him after all. pg. 8
So this was well-written. Detweiler definitely is a better author (as in 'putting words together') than, say, Smith, who wrote a YA book I just reviewed called Hearts Unbroken. The writing in here is lush and vivid. Very Southern summer. Very hot Pennsylvania woods.
However, I had some issues with the (IMO tired) plot.
Calliope has lesbian parents. She doesn't know which one's egg went into making her, and she doesn't know who the sperm donor is, either. She calls him 'Frank' after Frank Zappa. She has two best friends that she literally grew up with and they are super, super tight. A lesbian named Ginger and a straight boy named Noah who is in love with her. Calliope has no romantic/sexual feelings toward Noah, seeing him only as a brother. She's made a vow not to date until college, partly because she doesn't want to rip Noah's heart to shreds and thinks it will be easier on him if she's dating no one, rather than outright rejecting him.
Sad, right? Sad that she cuts herself off from dating entirely because she can't bring herself to hurt this delicate brat's feelings. UGH.
ANYWAY. A new family moves into the 'haunted' house next door and the son, Max, is her age and... kind of pretty. She starts non-dating him.
....
My main issue with this book is the old, tired, can see it a mile away coming
ANYWAY. If you can get over that... and it's a big thing to get over, Detweiler is offering a nice little commentary on family, friendship, what it means to be family, what it means to be a friend, and - perhaps most importantly - how to deal with entitled whiny boys who are in love with you and 'can't handle it' when you don't love them back and/or start dating another boy. Super relieved Calliope I really couldn't stand Noah. He was getting on my last nerve. She doesn't OWE you anything. She's NOT interested in you that way. Stop acting all hurt and mopey and whiny and immature. Get the fuck over it. UGH.
Another book where the heroine turns 18 halfway through the novel. I prefer YA about older teens. If I HAVE to read YA, I'd rather it be about emotionally mature heroines (and heroes) like Calliope and Louise (from Hearts Unbroken) than whiny little annoying teenagers like Noah and other assorted various YA MCs. Sadly, Calliope is more mature emotionally than either of the boys in this novel. It's quite frustrating for her and for this reader, but everything comes to a more or less satisfying conclusion.
Detweiler takes the easy way out by making the book take place over summer vacation, so Calliope doesn't have to deal with 'real society' or the fallout of her and other's actions in 'real society.' Instead, she's in this little tiny wooded world which consists almost solely of her, Noah, Ginger, Max, Max's family, and her lesbian parents. So everything is freedom, days are unstructured, and she's free to make whatever decisions or mistakes she makes with no consequences or input from her peer group.
Detweiler also makes the refreshing decision not to tackle 'issues' in this book. Sure, Calliope has lesbian parents. Her best girlfriend is a lesbian. Max is biracial, possibly the only Black kid in school. While these things are mentioned (Detweiler doesn't sweep them under the rug), they are not lingered on or dwelled upon or made into some huge deal. It's pretty chill. Obviously those kinds of issues are not Detweiler's main focus when writing this novel. It's a relief. So many YA books today are so issue-focused, it can get tiring. Not that I mind a well-written exploration of race, sexual identity, or gender identity... but it can be nice to remember a book can INCLUDE those things but not make those things the BE ALL END ALL of the novel.
TL;DR
READ THIS IF:
- You like lush, evocative writing that is better than your average YA.
- You like hot, sweaty, deep woods, haunted-house, no air-conditioning, mysterious new kid kind of vibes. And I mean hot as in temperature, not as in sexually exciting.
- You are not bothered by themes of
- You want a thoughtful, nuanced take on what makes a family and what makes a friendship.
DON'T READ THIS IF:
-
- You want something highly dramatic. Despite this book focusing on some themes that scream 'high drama,' this is actually well-written and relatively calm literature. Not This book is not aiming to titillate nor is it given to dramatic leaps and over-reactions and drama drama drama high schoolers. Like Hearts Unbroken, Calliope is a calm MC with a good head on her shoulders and a strong streak of emotional maturity.
I liked it and I don't generally enjoy YA or teen novels. It wasn't perfect, I could do without the
Not perfect, but pretty good. The writing (as in prose, not plotting) elevates it IMO.
P.S. Oh, and she keeps leaving her cell phone at the house in this novel. It was truly shocking. That was probably the most shocking thing in this book, not the Imagine, 2021 and a 17/18-year-old is leaving their phone at home and wandering out in the woods / going to others houses. And I'm not saying this as a slam on teens, like "Oh, teenagers! Can't live without their phones!" More like I am worried about Calliope's safety and if I were one of her moms I would blister her hide for going out without a lifeline. Anything could happen. She could twist her ankle in the deep woods. The new neighbors could be sinister. She could get lost. IDK, it just seemed very unsafe to me. I used to go all the time without a cell phone when I was a kid... of course, there were no cell phones and there were also pay phones everywhere (not that this would help her in the woods), but nowadays it just seems risky. Couldn't help imagining nightmare scenarios and her stuck without a phone. I'm too paranoid? Brainwashed? IDK.
NAMES IN THIS BOOK:
"I'm going to have to chug the coffee down straight. Desperate times. But you are NOT off the hook."
"Oh?" I brace my feet against the porch.
"Nope. We're going for a walk in the woods." He stands up, salutes me, and takes all three porch steps in one leap.
I watch until he disappears back into the woods alongside our house, the wild trees eating him alive. Until it's almost like I did imagine him after all. pg. 8
So this was well-written. Detweiler definitely is a better author (as in 'putting words together') than, say, Smith, who wrote a YA book I just reviewed called Hearts Unbroken. The writing in here is lush and vivid. Very Southern summer. Very hot Pennsylvania woods.
However, I had some issues with the (IMO tired) plot.
Calliope has lesbian parents. She doesn't know which one's egg went into making her, and she doesn't know who the sperm donor is, either. She calls him 'Frank' after Frank Zappa. She has two best friends that she literally grew up with and they are super, super tight. A lesbian named Ginger and a straight boy named Noah who is in love with her. Calliope has no romantic/sexual feelings toward Noah, seeing him only as a brother. She's made a vow not to date until college, partly because she doesn't want to rip Noah's heart to shreds and thinks it will be easier on him if she's dating no one, rather than outright rejecting him.
Sad, right? Sad that she cuts herself off from dating entirely because she can't bring herself to hurt this delicate brat's feelings. UGH.
ANYWAY. A new family moves into the 'haunted' house next door and the son, Max, is her age and... kind of pretty. She starts non-dating him.
....
My main issue with this book is the old, tired, can see it a mile away coming
ANYWAY. If you can get over that... and it's a big thing to get over, Detweiler is offering a nice little commentary on family, friendship, what it means to be family, what it means to be a friend, and - perhaps most importantly - how to deal with entitled whiny boys who are in love with you and 'can't handle it' when you don't love them back and/or start dating another boy. Super relieved Calliope I really couldn't stand Noah. He was getting on my last nerve. She doesn't OWE you anything. She's NOT interested in you that way. Stop acting all hurt and mopey and whiny and immature. Get the fuck over it. UGH.
Another book where the heroine turns 18 halfway through the novel. I prefer YA about older teens. If I HAVE to read YA, I'd rather it be about emotionally mature heroines (and heroes) like Calliope and Louise (from Hearts Unbroken) than whiny little annoying teenagers like Noah and other assorted various YA MCs. Sadly, Calliope is more mature emotionally than either of the boys in this novel. It's quite frustrating for her and for this reader, but everything comes to a more or less satisfying conclusion.
Detweiler takes the easy way out by making the book take place over summer vacation, so Calliope doesn't have to deal with 'real society' or the fallout of her and other's actions in 'real society.' Instead, she's in this little tiny wooded world which consists almost solely of her, Noah, Ginger, Max, Max's family, and her lesbian parents. So everything is freedom, days are unstructured, and she's free to make whatever decisions or mistakes she makes with no consequences or input from her peer group.
Detweiler also makes the refreshing decision not to tackle 'issues' in this book. Sure, Calliope has lesbian parents. Her best girlfriend is a lesbian. Max is biracial, possibly the only Black kid in school. While these things are mentioned (Detweiler doesn't sweep them under the rug), they are not lingered on or dwelled upon or made into some huge deal. It's pretty chill. Obviously those kinds of issues are not Detweiler's main focus when writing this novel. It's a relief. So many YA books today are so issue-focused, it can get tiring. Not that I mind a well-written exploration of race, sexual identity, or gender identity... but it can be nice to remember a book can INCLUDE those things but not make those things the BE ALL END ALL of the novel.
TL;DR
READ THIS IF:
- You like lush, evocative writing that is better than your average YA.
- You like hot, sweaty, deep woods, haunted-house, no air-conditioning, mysterious new kid kind of vibes. And I mean hot as in temperature, not as in sexually exciting.
- You are not bothered by themes of
- You want a thoughtful, nuanced take on what makes a family and what makes a friendship.
DON'T READ THIS IF:
-
- You want something highly dramatic. Despite this book focusing on some themes that scream 'high drama,' this is actually well-written and relatively calm literature. Not This book is not aiming to titillate nor is it given to dramatic leaps and over-reactions and drama drama drama high schoolers. Like Hearts Unbroken, Calliope is a calm MC with a good head on her shoulders and a strong streak of emotional maturity.
I liked it and I don't generally enjoy YA or teen novels. It wasn't perfect, I could do without the
Not perfect, but pretty good. The writing (as in prose, not plotting) elevates it IMO.
P.S. Oh, and she keeps leaving her cell phone at the house in this novel. It was truly shocking. That was probably the most shocking thing in this book, not the Imagine, 2021 and a 17/18-year-old is leaving their phone at home and wandering out in the woods / going to others houses. And I'm not saying this as a slam on teens, like "Oh, teenagers! Can't live without their phones!" More like I am worried about Calliope's safety and if I were one of her moms I would blister her hide for going out without a lifeline. Anything could happen. She could twist her ankle in the deep woods. The new neighbors could be sinister. She could get lost. IDK, it just seemed very unsafe to me. I used to go all the time without a cell phone when I was a kid... of course, there were no cell phones and there were also pay phones everywhere (not that this would help her in the woods), but nowadays it just seems risky. Couldn't help imagining nightmare scenarios and her stuck without a phone. I'm too paranoid? Brainwashed? IDK.
NAMES IN THIS BOOK:
June 25, 2021
This book was truly poetic from start to finish. At its heart, it was an exploration of what family truly means. The characters could've been one-dimensional, and the plot could've been nonexistent, but I still think I would've loved this, because the strongest part was the message.
I have to say, I love Calliope's found family. They had their issues, but they encompassed the spirit of families perfectly. I did struggle with the relationship between Max and Calliope, but I think the author did it intentionally. It wasn't meant to be an easy read, there were too many emotions running wild. The relationship between Marlowe and Calliope on the other hand was done perfectly, it may have been my favorite part of the book.
I also really loved how complex every character was. Even Elliot, the person who's part "villain" to Max, and behind many of the problems of the story made sense to me. I didn't like him as a person, but he was a great character.
Although this is a shorter book, it doesn't pull any punches. I really enjoyed it, and I may end up rereading it
Thanks to Turn the Page Tours for providing a free copy !
I have to say, I love Calliope's found family. They had their issues, but they encompassed the spirit of families perfectly. I did struggle with the relationship between Max and Calliope, but I think the author did it intentionally. It wasn't meant to be an easy read, there were too many emotions running wild. The relationship between Marlowe and Calliope on the other hand was done perfectly, it may have been my favorite part of the book.
I also really loved how complex every character was. Even Elliot, the person who's part "villain" to Max, and behind many of the problems of the story made sense to me. I didn't like him as a person, but he was a great character.
Although this is a shorter book, it doesn't pull any punches. I really enjoyed it, and I may end up rereading it
Thanks to Turn the Page Tours for providing a free copy !
June 10, 2025
Thank you turn the pages tour and holidays house for the physical arc ! Full review on https://uponthebooktower.wordpress.com
July 18, 2021
The book is poetic from beginning to end. In essence, this is an exploration of the true meaning of family. Characters can be one-dimensional and the plot may not exist, but I still think I would like this because the most powerful part is the information. In suburban Pennsylvania, a girl fell in love with the boy next door (literally), but on her 18th birthday, she decided to find out who her sperm donor father was and found out that he was the father of her new boyfriend. If it is. I like the family that Calliope found.
They have their problems, but they perfectly contain the spirit of the family. I struggled with the relationship between Max and Calliope, but I think the author did it on purpose. This is not an easy book to read, there are too many crazy emotions. On the other hand, the relationship between Marlowe and Calliope is perfect, which is probably my favorite part of this book. I also like the complexity of each character. Even Elliott, who is the “villain” for Max, and the many problems in the story, are meaningful to me. I don’t like him as a person, but he is a great character.I love Calliope’s found family. They had their issues, but they encompassed the spirit of families perfectly.
I did struggle with the relationship between Max and Calliope, but I think the author did it intentionally. It wasn’t meant to be an easy read, there were too many emotions running wild. The relationship between Marlowe and Calliope on the other hand was done perfectly, it may have been my favorite part of the book.I also really loved how complex every character was. Even Elliot, the person who’s part “villain” to Max, and behind many of the problems of the story made sense to me. I didn’t like him as a person, but he was a great character.
They have their problems, but they perfectly contain the spirit of the family. I struggled with the relationship between Max and Calliope, but I think the author did it on purpose. This is not an easy book to read, there are too many crazy emotions. On the other hand, the relationship between Marlowe and Calliope is perfect, which is probably my favorite part of this book. I also like the complexity of each character. Even Elliott, who is the “villain” for Max, and the many problems in the story, are meaningful to me. I don’t like him as a person, but he is a great character.I love Calliope’s found family. They had their issues, but they encompassed the spirit of families perfectly.
I did struggle with the relationship between Max and Calliope, but I think the author did it intentionally. It wasn’t meant to be an easy read, there were too many emotions running wild. The relationship between Marlowe and Calliope on the other hand was done perfectly, it may have been my favorite part of the book.I also really loved how complex every character was. Even Elliot, the person who’s part “villain” to Max, and behind many of the problems of the story made sense to me. I didn’t like him as a person, but he was a great character.
June 23, 2021
This was the ideal summer read. The setting is lush and magical. The writing is beautiful. I liked the main character Calliope and her best friends. I loved Calliope's Moms; they are parenting done so well.
I was extremely disappointed by the ending which caused me to give this book 3 stars instead of a higher rating
I was extremely disappointed by the ending which caused me to give this book 3 stars instead of a higher rating
April 19, 2022
Don't read the synopsis-spoilers abound! It's a heartwarming YA book about Calliope's decision and journey to unlock the secret of her sperm donor father once she reaches her all-important 18th birthday. As she navigates this, shifting dynamics in her friend circle cause her to think differently about her relationships, and she realizes that chosen family is what she wants even as that group changes and expands.
February 7, 2023
ah finally my first good read this month. i adore this book. it's about love and heartbreak, finding and losing, friendship, and life, and family. family: back to the title, the people we choose, not just the ones associated by blood.
“You wouldn’t have to stop. Ever. I love lots of people like family that don’t have my blood. It’s the being in love that makes it messy. Regular love is easier.”
Family.
Not just the family we’re born into, a random collection of chance and odds and good old-fashioned luck. But the family we create. The people we choose for ourselves. Our people.
That family—it really is everything.
August 2, 2021
Katelyn is the queen of cozy drama. This is another one where the premise (no spoilers here) could not be higher drama, but the characters are all real and lovely and lovable and the world they inhabit is comfy and lived-in and kind and you honestly wish the best for everybody by the end of it. Five warm and fuzzy stars.
July 26, 2023
really really ODD plot. however, the writing is beautiful and delicately describes the setting of a beautiful and nature-y countryside that makes me want to live in the book. other than the plot, it’s an okay book :)
May 29, 2021
Crazy concept, but I loved the focus on friendship and the exploration of the idea that blood doesn't necessarily determine who your "family" will be. Detweiler did a great job giving all the characters room to grow too. Overall: Feel-good and Hopeful
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June 8, 2021
This book has a fascinating premise. In rural-suburban Pennsylvania, a girl falls for the boy next door (literally), but on her 18th birthday, she chooses to find out who her sperm donor father is, and discovers it's her new boyfriend's dad. YEP.
The idea, brilliant, but the writing? Even more so. From the first page I could see I was in for something stunning. Katelyn Detweiler makes such good use of the lush, forested setting of Green Woods, that it almost feels like another character. The pages were a refuge, a beautiful gentle place where even when everything was falling apart, it felt safe. Calliope's moms, Mama & Mimmy, shower her in a type of unconditional love that casts a metaphorical protective spell over their daughter.
Readers will enjoy the exploration of all manner of tangled relationships, from the friendships (such good friend dynamics) to the romantic ones and of course the family ones. They're all fleshed out and given the perfect amount of space to bend and become something bigger.
FIVE VERY ENTHUSIASTIC STARS!
The idea, brilliant, but the writing? Even more so. From the first page I could see I was in for something stunning. Katelyn Detweiler makes such good use of the lush, forested setting of Green Woods, that it almost feels like another character. The pages were a refuge, a beautiful gentle place where even when everything was falling apart, it felt safe. Calliope's moms, Mama & Mimmy, shower her in a type of unconditional love that casts a metaphorical protective spell over their daughter.
Readers will enjoy the exploration of all manner of tangled relationships, from the friendships (such good friend dynamics) to the romantic ones and of course the family ones. They're all fleshed out and given the perfect amount of space to bend and become something bigger.
FIVE VERY ENTHUSIASTIC STARS!
November 1, 2024
As a donor-conceived person, I found this portrayal of donor conception to be incredibly othering and, at times, insulting. I'm not going to leave a full review until I finish my master's paper (which is on portrayals of donor-conceived teens in YA lit), but once I'm done, I'll post an excerpt or two here.
--
Realized I never came back to do this and was looking back at this review for other reasons! So here's an excerpt from my master's paper (that I wrote almost three years ago (woah)):
The relationship Calliope has with Max is what I found most troubling while reading this book, and also what makes me hesitant to recommend this book to others looking for representation of donor conception in young adult novels. The fact that the potential for incest being one of the first things people think of when they consider the fact that there are children who are conceived via an anonymous sperm donor is incredibly troubling, especially considering that it is very rare. I could not find any evidence of this happening, other than an anonymous submission to Slate’s Dear Prudence column (Yoffe, 2013). Concerns about donor-conceived siblings falling in love are also only generally written about by those who wish to outlaw donor conception, such as in an opinion piece published by The Spectator (Clark, 2018). By having Calliope and Max falling in love, Detweiler is perpetuating a narrative that others the donor conceived that is largely untrue and misleading, and has the potential to create harmful situations for donor-conceived youth if their peers believe that being donor conceived naturally leads to incest. After Calliope finds out that she had been dating her sperm donor’s son, she does research into donor siblings who have met and only finds sensational stories, which leads Calliope to believe that this is the reality of donor conception, and uses this to make the argument that in the United States does not do enough to prevent this from happening. The language Detweiler uses surrounding this situation can also be seen as othering — Calliope waits to tell Max about the identity of her sperm donor until after she can confirm that the Elliot Jackson who donated his sperm is in fact Max’s father. When it becomes time to tell him, she refers to communicating this information was a “confession,” as if she is admitting to committing a crime, even though she did not fall in love with her donor’s son on purpose (Detweiler, 2021, p. 183). Calliope also refers to herself as a “science experiment” when talking to girls from her school about how she has two moms (Detweiler, 2021, p. 276). This view of herself as a science experiment is also why she refers to her donor as Frank before she finds out his true identity — Calliope says that the term “donor” sounds “too cold, like a science experiment from a lab” (Detweiler, 2021, p. 19). The novel ends in a similar way to a film about donor conception, with Elliot being redeemed. While he’s described as “far from perfect,” getting contact with his donor offspring and having the two families begin to merge into one is shown to have a positive impact on Elliot, encouraging him to go to marriage counseling, therapy, and spending more time with his family.
However, the depictions of donor conception in The People We Choose are not all negative. The novel regularly rejects the idea of the nuclear family, tying into the novel’s title and the idea of a chosen family. Even after Calliope finds out that Elliot is her sperm donor, she still maintains that she is not looking for a father or a father figure, and that she has and always will have two parents who love her, no matter if they are biologically related to her or not. I did find it a little strange and unrealistic that Calliope did not know which of her moms carried her, as I do not know how it would be possible to keep that a secret, and it would be just as easy to posit that biological relation does not matter even if Calliope knows which mother she’s biologically related to, like Albertalli did in The Upside of Unrequited (2017). Ultimately, as a donor-conceived person, reading this book made me feel incredibly uncomfortable, as I have had people make comments to me about the possibility of me dating a donor sibling and it has always made me feel weird and like an other. I believe that the same point — that family is “the people we choose” — could have been made without the implication of incest between a donor-conceived person and her donor’s child.
--
Realized I never came back to do this and was looking back at this review for other reasons! So here's an excerpt from my master's paper (that I wrote almost three years ago (woah)):
The relationship Calliope has with Max is what I found most troubling while reading this book, and also what makes me hesitant to recommend this book to others looking for representation of donor conception in young adult novels. The fact that the potential for incest being one of the first things people think of when they consider the fact that there are children who are conceived via an anonymous sperm donor is incredibly troubling, especially considering that it is very rare. I could not find any evidence of this happening, other than an anonymous submission to Slate’s Dear Prudence column (Yoffe, 2013). Concerns about donor-conceived siblings falling in love are also only generally written about by those who wish to outlaw donor conception, such as in an opinion piece published by The Spectator (Clark, 2018). By having Calliope and Max falling in love, Detweiler is perpetuating a narrative that others the donor conceived that is largely untrue and misleading, and has the potential to create harmful situations for donor-conceived youth if their peers believe that being donor conceived naturally leads to incest. After Calliope finds out that she had been dating her sperm donor’s son, she does research into donor siblings who have met and only finds sensational stories, which leads Calliope to believe that this is the reality of donor conception, and uses this to make the argument that in the United States does not do enough to prevent this from happening. The language Detweiler uses surrounding this situation can also be seen as othering — Calliope waits to tell Max about the identity of her sperm donor until after she can confirm that the Elliot Jackson who donated his sperm is in fact Max’s father. When it becomes time to tell him, she refers to communicating this information was a “confession,” as if she is admitting to committing a crime, even though she did not fall in love with her donor’s son on purpose (Detweiler, 2021, p. 183). Calliope also refers to herself as a “science experiment” when talking to girls from her school about how she has two moms (Detweiler, 2021, p. 276). This view of herself as a science experiment is also why she refers to her donor as Frank before she finds out his true identity — Calliope says that the term “donor” sounds “too cold, like a science experiment from a lab” (Detweiler, 2021, p. 19). The novel ends in a similar way to a film about donor conception, with Elliot being redeemed. While he’s described as “far from perfect,” getting contact with his donor offspring and having the two families begin to merge into one is shown to have a positive impact on Elliot, encouraging him to go to marriage counseling, therapy, and spending more time with his family.
However, the depictions of donor conception in The People We Choose are not all negative. The novel regularly rejects the idea of the nuclear family, tying into the novel’s title and the idea of a chosen family. Even after Calliope finds out that Elliot is her sperm donor, she still maintains that she is not looking for a father or a father figure, and that she has and always will have two parents who love her, no matter if they are biologically related to her or not. I did find it a little strange and unrealistic that Calliope did not know which of her moms carried her, as I do not know how it would be possible to keep that a secret, and it would be just as easy to posit that biological relation does not matter even if Calliope knows which mother she’s biologically related to, like Albertalli did in The Upside of Unrequited (2017). Ultimately, as a donor-conceived person, reading this book made me feel incredibly uncomfortable, as I have had people make comments to me about the possibility of me dating a donor sibling and it has always made me feel weird and like an other. I believe that the same point — that family is “the people we choose” — could have been made without the implication of incest between a donor-conceived person and her donor’s child.
June 8, 2021
It will never stop tickling me to read about my hometown painted so lovingly in a novel. I will never stop supporting Katelyn Detweiler and all of her work. I love the imagination and the improbable scenarios that her characters find themselves in. When you read a book like hers, you realize the possibilities for story telling are endless. Her stories always have fresh ideas and perspectives.
I really liked this story. Thistle Tate took on the idea of toxic families and an imperfect narrator who is trying to make amends and tell her truth. This story shows a family that is almost too perfect and wholesome. The choice on how the relationships are shown in this story give me a lot to chew on.
I read through this in three days. Once I got to a certain turning point, I couldn't put it down. A fantastic summer read.
I really liked this story. Thistle Tate took on the idea of toxic families and an imperfect narrator who is trying to make amends and tell her truth. This story shows a family that is almost too perfect and wholesome. The choice on how the relationships are shown in this story give me a lot to chew on.
I read through this in three days. Once I got to a certain turning point, I couldn't put it down. A fantastic summer read.
April 28, 2021
See my full review here: https://www.yabookscentral.com/yafict...
THE PEOPLE WE CHOOSE is an intriguing YA contemporary about how we define family. Calliope is nearly 18 years old, the age when she can reach out to the donor agency and contact her biological father. She has had a happy life with her two mothers, but she has always been curious about the man who was involved in her conception, who she has always called Frank.
During the summer before her birthday, she meets a new boy, Max, whose family moves into the town's haunted house. As they get to know each other, they are unable to deny their connection. Even though Calliope said she'd never date in high school, Max has her breaking her rule, and they are soon in love. Before she knows it, she is 18 and she gets to make the decision about whether she will reach out to her donor.
Ultimately, she decides to reach out, and she gets a response - as mentioned in the synopsis, it turns out her donor is Max's father. Now, Calliope is second guessing herself and her decision as she comes to terms with what it all means.
What I loved: This was a really thought-provoking scenario, and the ultimate theme of the book becomes how family is defined and formed. There's not a simple answer, and the discussion also includes people close to us, such as friends. Calliope has had two BFFs since basically infancy, and they also are undergoing turmoil. Everything is changing, and Calliope is trying to find her way. One of my favorite aspects of the book was Calliope's mothers, who are excellent parents and their relationship with each other and their daughter shines throughout the story.
What left me wanting more: I wanted the book to go even deeper into the emotions and background of decisions made. There's a lot of complexity, but it wasn't as immersive as I wanted. Of course, it would be tough to have a romance that we could both buy into and then also deal with in the second half of the book, but this also made it tougher to take a deep dive into Calliope and Max's relationship and the fallout, so some mixed feelings. I think it could have been helpful to have other perspectives to really understand the multifaceted aspects of the way things unfold.
Final verdict: A thought-provoking read, THE PEOPLE WE CHOOSE is a YA contemporary that discusses family and the ways it can be defined and redefined. Would recommend for fans of 806.
Please note that I received an ARC from the publisher. All opinions are my own.
THE PEOPLE WE CHOOSE is an intriguing YA contemporary about how we define family. Calliope is nearly 18 years old, the age when she can reach out to the donor agency and contact her biological father. She has had a happy life with her two mothers, but she has always been curious about the man who was involved in her conception, who she has always called Frank.
During the summer before her birthday, she meets a new boy, Max, whose family moves into the town's haunted house. As they get to know each other, they are unable to deny their connection. Even though Calliope said she'd never date in high school, Max has her breaking her rule, and they are soon in love. Before she knows it, she is 18 and she gets to make the decision about whether she will reach out to her donor.
Ultimately, she decides to reach out, and she gets a response - as mentioned in the synopsis, it turns out her donor is Max's father. Now, Calliope is second guessing herself and her decision as she comes to terms with what it all means.
What I loved: This was a really thought-provoking scenario, and the ultimate theme of the book becomes how family is defined and formed. There's not a simple answer, and the discussion also includes people close to us, such as friends. Calliope has had two BFFs since basically infancy, and they also are undergoing turmoil. Everything is changing, and Calliope is trying to find her way. One of my favorite aspects of the book was Calliope's mothers, who are excellent parents and their relationship with each other and their daughter shines throughout the story.
What left me wanting more: I wanted the book to go even deeper into the emotions and background of decisions made. There's a lot of complexity, but it wasn't as immersive as I wanted. Of course, it would be tough to have a romance that we could both buy into and then also deal with in the second half of the book, but this also made it tougher to take a deep dive into Calliope and Max's relationship and the fallout, so some mixed feelings. I think it could have been helpful to have other perspectives to really understand the multifaceted aspects of the way things unfold.
Final verdict: A thought-provoking read, THE PEOPLE WE CHOOSE is a YA contemporary that discusses family and the ways it can be defined and redefined. Would recommend for fans of 806.
Please note that I received an ARC from the publisher. All opinions are my own.
April 30, 2021
The People We Choose is a simple story on the surface that reveals the complex nature as the novel unfolds. Calliope lives a quiet life in rural Pennsylvania with her moms and best friends Ginger and Noah. However, new neighbors Max and Marlow change her perspective and life. On her eighteenth birthday, she finally delves into who her father is, only to discover it's Max and Marlow's father.
The above plot point, which I believe is supposed to be a twist, was unfortunately revealed in the blurb online. I think the book would have had more impact if the twist was left in the dark. Detweiler concocts interesting plotlines that subvert the norm for YA novels which I appreciate. Still, I found both of her novels kind of fizzle out instead of finishing strong.
As well, despite apologizing multiple times, Noah was a crummy person. He does grow and learn from his mistakes but ignoring and then blaming Calliope for not being in love with him is terrible. I'm glad that no more page time was dedicated to him than necessary. Max's behavior also after the big reveal was horrendous, but both boys' behavior is not rewarded or seen as a forgivable offense.
Overall, an offbeat premise with pretty good execution. I will definitely be recommending this title to others. 3/5
The above plot point, which I believe is supposed to be a twist, was unfortunately revealed in the blurb online. I think the book would have had more impact if the twist was left in the dark. Detweiler concocts interesting plotlines that subvert the norm for YA novels which I appreciate. Still, I found both of her novels kind of fizzle out instead of finishing strong.
As well, despite apologizing multiple times, Noah was a crummy person. He does grow and learn from his mistakes but ignoring and then blaming Calliope for not being in love with him is terrible. I'm glad that no more page time was dedicated to him than necessary. Max's behavior also after the big reveal was horrendous, but both boys' behavior is not rewarded or seen as a forgivable offense.
Overall, an offbeat premise with pretty good execution. I will definitely be recommending this title to others. 3/5
September 22, 2021
What a premise, two people falling in love and then learning they're siblings. It's a bold move to try writing that, and a veritable train wreck of drama to read about. Knowing it's going to happen right from the beginning sure makes reading about Calliope and Max dating is...ick.
One thing I think the author does really well is capture the feeling of someone who has family history they don't know. Calliope is perfectly happy with her moms, but there's still this pull to know who her biological father is and what parts of her are from him. That feeling is so real, and so strong, and so misunderstood. Too many people think it means you're ungrateful or that you don't see the people who raised you as your "real" family, but it isn't that. It's this deep, inexplicable need to know where you come from.
For the first half of the book, aside from wanting to rush in and tell him not to date Calliope, Max is pretty likable, but I have to say, I didn't like how he was after learning they were siblings. It's a lot to take in, and he's allowed to not take it well, but he was unnecessarily mean to her in a way that feels a bit out of character. If anything, I'd expect him to take it out on his dad.
Similarly, I don't know how I feel about Noah. Unrequited crushes suck, but he gets very "nice guy" mopey and it really rubbed me the wrong way. I liked everyone else, though (well, everyone you're supposed to like).
One thing I think the author does really well is capture the feeling of someone who has family history they don't know. Calliope is perfectly happy with her moms, but there's still this pull to know who her biological father is and what parts of her are from him. That feeling is so real, and so strong, and so misunderstood. Too many people think it means you're ungrateful or that you don't see the people who raised you as your "real" family, but it isn't that. It's this deep, inexplicable need to know where you come from.
For the first half of the book, aside from wanting to rush in and tell him not to date Calliope, Max is pretty likable, but I have to say, I didn't like how he was after learning they were siblings. It's a lot to take in, and he's allowed to not take it well, but he was unnecessarily mean to her in a way that feels a bit out of character. If anything, I'd expect him to take it out on his dad.
Similarly, I don't know how I feel about Noah. Unrequited crushes suck, but he gets very "nice guy" mopey and it really rubbed me the wrong way. I liked everyone else, though (well, everyone you're supposed to like).
June 24, 2021
Thank you to Margaret Ferguson Books for providing a gifted ARC for review.
The People We Choose is a poignant novel about family, friendship, and the meaning of choosing the people we want to keep in our lives.
Have you ever thought of being a donor?
As someone with my own family, I’ve never thought of it. Perhaps maybe vital organs if someone needed it and at the time those organs are viable.
But, I’ve never put any thought of donating my eggs.
Nevertheless, I think it’s such a unique concept to focus on and how Katelyn Detweiler crafted her story around it (but, in this case, a sperm donor for to two moms). Where the story isn’t about the main character finding a father figure or the need for one, it was the niggling question of who is this person who shares Calliope’s DNA.
But what Calliope would did not expect are the consequences of knowing who the donor is and how that would affect her other relationships.
You can find my full review on my book blog: https://sheafandink.com/2021/06/24/th...
Enjoy my reviews? Consider supporting my blog: https://ko-fi.com/sheafandink
The People We Choose is a poignant novel about family, friendship, and the meaning of choosing the people we want to keep in our lives.
Have you ever thought of being a donor?
As someone with my own family, I’ve never thought of it. Perhaps maybe vital organs if someone needed it and at the time those organs are viable.
But, I’ve never put any thought of donating my eggs.
Nevertheless, I think it’s such a unique concept to focus on and how Katelyn Detweiler crafted her story around it (but, in this case, a sperm donor for to two moms). Where the story isn’t about the main character finding a father figure or the need for one, it was the niggling question of who is this person who shares Calliope’s DNA.
But what Calliope would did not expect are the consequences of knowing who the donor is and how that would affect her other relationships.
You can find my full review on my book blog: https://sheafandink.com/2021/06/24/th...
Enjoy my reviews? Consider supporting my blog: https://ko-fi.com/sheafandink
August 25, 2021
this book was FANTASTIC. fifty pages in i knew it would be a favorite. i adored the writing and characters (my two favorite parts of books). this book was so relatable in an odd way. i personally have never found out my boyfriend is my biological brother, but some of the things the main character was going through, i could see myself so clearly in. i would catch my self circling and underlining things every few pages. all of the characters were beautifully developed. the writing was beautiful. it was so poetic, but still relatable. i was so excited every time i got to pick this up, eagerly awaiting what would happen next. i loved how there was always something happening, but the story always focused on calliope’s journey. the author did a beautiful job handling the characters emotions, and detailing every ones story. the ending was perfect. it felt like everything was wrapped up, but you could tell the characters were still evolving and growing. i loved that because it felt so real. i closed the book feeling so happy, and like the book was resolved perfectly. an absolute beautiful book that i adored from start to finish.
June 24, 2021
Very strange premise, but good characters and a decent exploration of the idea. Although, the SYNOPSIS revealed to use that Calliope and Max are biological half-siblings, and yet we had to wait HALF the book for them to find out. I get that we needed to experience them falling in love so we could understand their reaction to the reveal, and I get that this kind of reveal would be super revolting as a surprise and could be triggering so the publisher played it safe by being upfront about it, BUT that made the first HALF of the book pretty excruciating because WE KNOW this horrible information that they don't know and we have to watch them date (eww) thinking "please stop, please stop, please stop." I don't know what would have been a better approach, maybe this was the best one, but 3 stars for a decent book is maybe just what has to be given an icky premise.
November 25, 2022
The blurb definitely gave too much of this away. I would have been much happier had I not known basically the entire book. I did like the character of Calliope, but I felt that she was a little too self-involved. She grew up in this backwoods town that she defends all the time, but also wants to get out. She lives with her moms and knows she was donor-conceived. Her best friend is a lesbian in a town that doesn't welcome gays (yet, half the characters in the book are gay?).
There was just a few things that were odd. Her relationship with childhood best friend Noah seemed strained and again, selfish. Calliope was so selfish she basically ditched him and her other friend as soon as she met her love interest. The change from love interest to brother was bizarre as was how it all played out.
I liked the concept, but the execution was not great.
There was just a few things that were odd. Her relationship with childhood best friend Noah seemed strained and again, selfish. Calliope was so selfish she basically ditched him and her other friend as soon as she met her love interest. The change from love interest to brother was bizarre as was how it all played out.
I liked the concept, but the execution was not great.
August 5, 2021
Book: The People We Choose
Author: Katelyn Detweiler
___
✨The book is based on Calliope, who lives a quiet life in rural Pennsylvania with her two mothers and bestfriend, Noah and Ginger. However, her new neighbours Max and Marlow change everything. Calliope starts developing special feelings for Max. On her 18th birthday, she finally decides to look for her sperm donor which she realises is Max's father. Now Calliope must learn how to handle the truth and the new situations.
✨ The best part of the book were Calliope's parents. Both her mothers share an amazing bond with her and love her immensely.
✨ The storyline was quite good but the writing definitely was better.
✨ The book tells us about the definition of family and the way it can be defined and redefined.
Final Rating: ⭐⭐⭐.75
Author: Katelyn Detweiler
___
✨The book is based on Calliope, who lives a quiet life in rural Pennsylvania with her two mothers and bestfriend, Noah and Ginger. However, her new neighbours Max and Marlow change everything. Calliope starts developing special feelings for Max. On her 18th birthday, she finally decides to look for her sperm donor which she realises is Max's father. Now Calliope must learn how to handle the truth and the new situations.
✨ The best part of the book were Calliope's parents. Both her mothers share an amazing bond with her and love her immensely.
✨ The storyline was quite good but the writing definitely was better.
✨ The book tells us about the definition of family and the way it can be defined and redefined.
Final Rating: ⭐⭐⭐.75
Read
October 15, 2021I really enjoyed reading this book these past few weeks. There was never a dull moment throughout the story and the author was really able to pull me in so I was always eager to learn what would happen next. The plot consisted of three best friends, Calliope being the main character. These three friends had been inseparable ever since they could walk and talk. Now in their last Summer before Senior year, they experience many hardships. Calliope falls in love and loses one of her best friends along the way. She also discovers who her biological father is, which turns out to change her life. Overall, I would highly recommend this book because the plot was very interesting and I was constantly on the edge of my seat wondering what would come next.
July 17, 2021
Review:
I absolutely loved the relationships in this book. Family and friends can be defined in many ways. They can also be messy.
My favorite quote of the book is: “I’m just trying to rearrange that love. Not erase it. But make it into a different kind.”
I enjoyed that Calliope was striving to reshape her notions of family after her life changing revelation and she fought to keep her relationships with her growing family.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and look forward to reading more from them in the future.
I received an ARC of this book from TBR and Beyond Tours and Katelyn Detweiler in exchange for a post.
I absolutely loved the relationships in this book. Family and friends can be defined in many ways. They can also be messy.
My favorite quote of the book is: “I’m just trying to rearrange that love. Not erase it. But make it into a different kind.”
I enjoyed that Calliope was striving to reshape her notions of family after her life changing revelation and she fought to keep her relationships with her growing family.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and look forward to reading more from them in the future.
I received an ARC of this book from TBR and Beyond Tours and Katelyn Detweiler in exchange for a post.
May 14, 2024
I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I think it takes a really complicated idea and breaks it down to
a very simple question “What makes a family?”
I see a lot of other reviews where people don’t enjoy the ending much but I did! I think it’s has a certain innocence to it that remind us that we are still talking about teenagers here. Their end of the world moments often have simple solutions in the long run. They are also more resilient and recover quicker than adults. Ultimately I really enjoyed it and couldn’t think of anything I would’ve wanted to change which is why I gave it five stars.
a very simple question “What makes a family?”
I see a lot of other reviews where people don’t enjoy the ending much but I did! I think it’s has a certain innocence to it that remind us that we are still talking about teenagers here. Their end of the world moments often have simple solutions in the long run. They are also more resilient and recover quicker than adults. Ultimately I really enjoyed it and couldn’t think of anything I would’ve wanted to change which is why I gave it five stars.
March 2, 2022
Super quick read with really fleshed out characters and dense prose. I found myself thinking about this book when I wasn’t reading it and wanting to dive into it when I came home from work, which is rare for me! The only reason I’m giving it 4/5 stars because the biggest spoiler was on the book jacket. I would’ve rather gone into this blind without knowing about Elliot. Otherwise super great story! I’ll definitely be reading more of this author in the future.
May 13, 2025
This book was cute but kind of weird like wdym they're in love but then they find out they're half siblings... and it's like her first love and he's like perfect for her?? and then she's like welp guess any feelings I've ever had for him js disappeared even tho he's my first love and treats me so well and knows me better than anyone and UGH sorry this book was frustrating. It feels like sm happened but not enough at all.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 12, 2021
Fucking weird. This book was just fucking weird for me. I thought there was too much telling and not enough showing. It was weird but the payoff was nice. Margo and Stella were great moms. I want that cookie dough cake with the marshmallow frosting. I also kind of wished Calliope and Noah ended up together.
January 6, 2022
3.5/5
i liked it!! def a storyline i haven’t read before but i kept on wanting to read. especially with the foreshadowing and buildup i wanted to see how it would resolve in the end. a solid, short and simple read. loved the characters and the topics that were hinted at. the relationships and friendships between each character was well written in my opinion. LOVE NOAH!!!
i liked it!! def a storyline i haven’t read before but i kept on wanting to read. especially with the foreshadowing and buildup i wanted to see how it would resolve in the end. a solid, short and simple read. loved the characters and the topics that were hinted at. the relationships and friendships between each character was well written in my opinion. LOVE NOAH!!!
November 20, 2021
I gave this book three stars, but that is because I think a teenager would like it. It felt more like a teen romance book, so I was looking for more. Plot was decent, but I wasn’t a fan of the writing style.
January 2, 2022
I’d give it a 7/10. It was kind of slow in the beginning but once it got to the plot it was much easier to follow. I think I would’ve liked it more if the summary didn’t give away the plot of the book. Overall, I really enjoyed the book and would definitely recommend it.
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