Spiritual Friendship: Darkness and Light

by Ronda Chervin

Ronda Chervin Spiritual Darkness and Light analyzes the nature and validity of spiritual friendship. Dr. Chervin focuses on the divine dimension, when both friends root their love in God. As human beings we realize our need for love and understanding, for a guiding hand to lead us through the tunnel of spiritual darkness into the presence of the Lord. "Spiritual friendship comes in many brother and sister, parent and child, husband and wife, male and female companions. Both may be single, married, consecrated or any combination of these... The scene of the Last Supper reveals Christ's great desire to share his supernatural secrets with his friends, for friends are to be one heart and soul." This them is echoed by Fathers of the Church such as St. Augustine, and in the writings of great saints, especially Francis de Sales, Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross. Four stages of spiritual attraction, mutuality, enchantment and union are explained. The author's explanation of emotional rejection brings to her readers the realization that perfect friendship is not found on this earth, yet "the most precious gift of union in spiritual friendship is the foretaste of heaven it gives." This profound book can lead to deeper appreciation of the gift from God that spiritual friendship can be as we journey together back to him.

85 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1992

About the author

Ronda Chervin received a Ph.D. in Philosophy from Fordham University and an MA in Religious Studies from Notre Dame Apostolic Institute. She is a widow, mother, and grandmother.

Ronda converted to the Catholic Faith from a Jewish, though atheistic, background and has been a Professor of Philosophy and Theology at Loyola Marymount University, the Seminary of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, and Franciscan University of Steubenville. She is an international speaker and author of some fifty books about Catholic thought, practice and spirituality.

Dr. Ronda is currently teaching philosophy at Holy Apostles College and Seminary in Cromwell, Connecticut.

Reviews

[Audrey · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author writes on what spiritual friendship is all about, how we know that we are in one, the importance of striking a balance; and why - despite the "backlashes" (if it becomes inordinate) - it is still a good thing to develop spiritual friendships.

For me, my joy is to find the answer to my question: Yes, it is possible for a man and a woman to be so intimate spiritually in Christ, that this intimacy only aims at bringing the other closer to his / her Creator. It is the most intimate of friendship because Christ is in the centre of it - nothing erotic, it is all friendship built upon agape.

Even the saints enjoyed this friendship. E.g. St John of the Cross and St Teresa of Avila; St Francis of Assisi and St Clare (to name a few).

[Brian Wilcox · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author explores spiritual friendship in the Christian tradition between males and females, linking this to such relationships in the history of that faith. The friendship is centered in Christ; the form of the relationship is present for each to draw closer to his or her God. The friendship is not centered in the friendship itself, like friendships generally. The author notes that this friendship can occur in relationships as widespread as parent and child or male and female with each otherwise married. She, likewise, clarifies the challenge of potential erotic attraction in spiritual friendship. Cherven elucidates the progression of this friendship: attraction, mutuality, enchantment, union. The book is clearly written from a strongly Christian orientation; this treatment of a theme widely applicable, indeed to spiritual paths generally and persons not sharing the same tradition, would not likely appeal to most persons outside Christianity. While the author is Catholic, the book would appeal to persons of widely diverse non-Catholic Christian sects.