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Stop Trying: How to Receive--Not Achieve--Your Real Identity
From looking outwardly to please others to looking inwardly to define ourselves, we constantly try to cultivate or construct our identities. But guided by the whims of culture or the faulty advice of tradition, we often find identity collapses when life falls apart or change threatens that fragile structure. Is it possible to discover an identity bolstered with unassailable confidence, strengthened for the challenges of life rather than destroyed by them, and free from the whims of cultural pressure? Yes! It is an identity received, not achieved—an identity established in the gospel. In Stop Trying , Cary Schmidt’s storytelling creates compelling scenes in which you’ll see yourself and your self . You’ll understand why defining your identity outside of Jesus Christ is ultimately fragile, hollow, and unsatisfying. And you'll discover that your truest and most fulfilling identity is a byproduct of a relationship that changes everything.
240 pages, Paperback
Published January 7, 2021
59 people are currently reading
147 people want to read
About the author
Cary Schmidt
37 books28 followersCary Schmidt is the senior pastor of Emmanuel Baptist Church of Newington, Connecticut.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews
January 1, 2021
I received an early copy of Stop Trying, and it was the book I needed to read during the time I needed to read it. I’ve enjoyed Cary Schmidt’s practical writing style, and Stop Trying is no different. Cary takes a challenging topic like identity and lays it out so that by the end, we can find our identity in Christ instead of just feeling inspired, but unsure of how to accomplish the desired change. He uses helpful examples to show the dangers of finding our identity in the wrong places. The clear illustrations and personal applications make this book a must-read. I think this book contains helpful instructions for everyone from teenagers to adults. My copy is now highlighted throughout. If you have wondered what it really means to find your identity in Jesus Christ, you should definitely take the time to pick up this book.
January 4, 2021
“When the gospel defines you well, obedience to Him is the highest validator in life. His will, His assignments, and His results are enough.”
I love a book that takes a concept we think we know well and presents it in a paradigm-shifting way. It’s not uncommon for believers to be told that we need to find our worth in Christ, but Pastor Schmidt explains the true meaning of a gospel identity with a perspective that makes the entire topic feel fresh and new and even exciting. It’s not just a collection of motivational phrases or “success stories.” The heart of the book feels life-changing because it is. It’s deeply rooted in scripture (but also plenty of Disney/Pixar stories for people like me who appreciate a good Buzz Lightyear reference). And as we head into a new year and all the accompanying pressures to strive, achieve, and transform in our own power, this book is a kind reminder to ditch those efforts in exchange for true contentment and fullness in Jesus.
January 8, 2021
In this moment of political confusion and pandemic fear, Stop Trying arrives to reset our focus. This very readable book carried me along quickly, as I identified problems with my identity structures – traditional and modern.
I saw some of my fears revealed and realized how collapsible the traditional identity is. By extension, I could see how useless one can feel when not living up to society’s expectations – meaninglessness, suicide, euthanasia-all seem to be results of this perceived lack of value and of our struggle to remain relevant.
The described modern identity, in which one defines himself is also insufficient. Chapter 5 opened my eyes to how unsatisfied and unstable I can be when I embrace this ever-changing model of self-identification.
I loved the Disney images that Cary used that brought his ideas home throughout the book.
Part two of Stop Trying urged me to be intentional in my willingness to lose my fragile identity to find a durable one.
When the author apologizes on page 95 for his use of so many exclamation points, I was smiling, because his Bible examples had left me eager and asking for the answer. How do I lose myself and find a new identity?
Peter’s experience with Jesus on the Galilean shore was so moving. When Jesus invites him back from failure to significance, security and acceptance, that reconstruction seemed accessible to me, too.
What a relief that I don’t have to live up to the expectations of myself or of others! It’s such good news that I am loved and valued unconditionally by God, despite or in spite of my performance, and I can never lose this!
Like Peter and John’s transformed relationship, I am slowly discovering the “Ohh!” moments, as God organically grows my life in joy and peace, and frees me from competitiveness and comparison.
The encouraging passages in this book were many and the challenges, thought-provoking. What do I bleed when I am hurt? How does God become “upsized” in my life, so that I can admit my wrongs and respond in love, forgiveness and grace?
I want to “trust more than try”, as God works patiently over my lifetime to create a gospel identity.
I enjoyed the little details of Cary’s narratives, that had me opening up my Bible to study out points that I’ve somehow missed seeing before. Even my own study of the lives of Daniel or of Joseph, were colored by my new understanding of their firm God-shaped identities.
“A gospel identity immerses you in abundance.” This “path to an authentic change of heart” is a joy to discover! Enjoy and be reshaped by the Bible truths of this book.
I saw some of my fears revealed and realized how collapsible the traditional identity is. By extension, I could see how useless one can feel when not living up to society’s expectations – meaninglessness, suicide, euthanasia-all seem to be results of this perceived lack of value and of our struggle to remain relevant.
The described modern identity, in which one defines himself is also insufficient. Chapter 5 opened my eyes to how unsatisfied and unstable I can be when I embrace this ever-changing model of self-identification.
I loved the Disney images that Cary used that brought his ideas home throughout the book.
Part two of Stop Trying urged me to be intentional in my willingness to lose my fragile identity to find a durable one.
When the author apologizes on page 95 for his use of so many exclamation points, I was smiling, because his Bible examples had left me eager and asking for the answer. How do I lose myself and find a new identity?
Peter’s experience with Jesus on the Galilean shore was so moving. When Jesus invites him back from failure to significance, security and acceptance, that reconstruction seemed accessible to me, too.
What a relief that I don’t have to live up to the expectations of myself or of others! It’s such good news that I am loved and valued unconditionally by God, despite or in spite of my performance, and I can never lose this!
Like Peter and John’s transformed relationship, I am slowly discovering the “Ohh!” moments, as God organically grows my life in joy and peace, and frees me from competitiveness and comparison.
The encouraging passages in this book were many and the challenges, thought-provoking. What do I bleed when I am hurt? How does God become “upsized” in my life, so that I can admit my wrongs and respond in love, forgiveness and grace?
I want to “trust more than try”, as God works patiently over my lifetime to create a gospel identity.
I enjoyed the little details of Cary’s narratives, that had me opening up my Bible to study out points that I’ve somehow missed seeing before. Even my own study of the lives of Daniel or of Joseph, were colored by my new understanding of their firm God-shaped identities.
“A gospel identity immerses you in abundance.” This “path to an authentic change of heart” is a joy to discover! Enjoy and be reshaped by the Bible truths of this book.
January 6, 2021
When I first heard that Cary was releasing a new book, I was ready to read it right away. I've read all of his books and they have all been helpful. In fact, one of his past books, Real Christianity, is one of my favorite books on my shelf. Cary is a fantastic author, and I feel he has only grown stronger in the past few years in his skill to communicate in his writings.
The content is incredible. Cary's summarization and simplification of the identity battle that we all face is excellent. He put into words what I believe we all wrestle with in our minds but struggle to verbalize. The book is deep, yet relatable and understandable. It is so rich, and it is riddled with fun analogies and stories that connect the reader's heart to the depth of the truth that is being explained. And what better way to connect to the reader than illustrating with Disney characters that just about everyone knows and loves.
Before starting this book, I knew I would enjoy it. But I underestimated this book. I more than enjoyed it - I grew from reading it. I connected with the content of this book extremely well. It encouraged me and challenged me. I laughed at some points, but at other points the book had me in tears. Several times I found myself stopping my reading because the truths presented had wrecked my heart (in a good way) and had forced me to honestly evaluate my own life and where I seek my true identity. Tears filled my eyes many times as I navigated the pages of this book. I can truly say that I have been helped greatly by Cary's writing in Stop Trying. I've already purchased several additional copies to give to friends because I know it will help them.
I highly encourage you to pick up a copy of this book and read it for yourself.
The content is incredible. Cary's summarization and simplification of the identity battle that we all face is excellent. He put into words what I believe we all wrestle with in our minds but struggle to verbalize. The book is deep, yet relatable and understandable. It is so rich, and it is riddled with fun analogies and stories that connect the reader's heart to the depth of the truth that is being explained. And what better way to connect to the reader than illustrating with Disney characters that just about everyone knows and loves.
Before starting this book, I knew I would enjoy it. But I underestimated this book. I more than enjoyed it - I grew from reading it. I connected with the content of this book extremely well. It encouraged me and challenged me. I laughed at some points, but at other points the book had me in tears. Several times I found myself stopping my reading because the truths presented had wrecked my heart (in a good way) and had forced me to honestly evaluate my own life and where I seek my true identity. Tears filled my eyes many times as I navigated the pages of this book. I can truly say that I have been helped greatly by Cary's writing in Stop Trying. I've already purchased several additional copies to give to friends because I know it will help them.
I highly encourage you to pick up a copy of this book and read it for yourself.
December 31, 2020
It’s our human nature to achieve. We seek to achieve at our jobs. We seek to achieve in our personal lives. We seek to achieve status, money, relationships, and power. Much of this is fine. But often our drive to achieve bleeds from what we do into who we are. We allow what we do (or don’t do) to become our identity. But Christ has something better for us. He gives us the worth and admiration our hearts so desperately crave. We don’t have to keep chasing the proverbial carrot.
In Stop Trying Cary Schmidt unpacks how Christ has given us a new identity. Using a lot of pop-culture references (which are a fun delight. I promise you will never watch a Pixar movie the same way) he shows how both a traditional identity (in a nutshell—how others define me) and modern identity (again, in a nutshell—how I define myself) ultimately fall short of what they promise to deliver. These are fragile structures that will ultimately collapse. Instead of leaving us hopeless, he shows us how Christ’s definition of us sets us free from the rat race. Cary has a great way of using his own stories to make these truths come alive. As he unpacks Scripture you will find yourself transported back in time walking with Peter and Paul as God remade their identities. As you read this book time will fly and your spirit will be ministered to.
Stop Trying is broken up into three parts. The first part shows us the fragility of the false identities we so often cling to. The second part builds us back up as we learn to find our identity in Jesus. The final part walks us through how Jesus’s definition of us transforms our lives. We learn how Jesus reshapes hardship, resolves fear, grows our resilience, makes peace with the difficult people and situations in our lives, and leads us to worship. Failure and difficulty no longer define us, Jesus does.
In Stop Trying Cary Schmidt unpacks how Christ has given us a new identity. Using a lot of pop-culture references (which are a fun delight. I promise you will never watch a Pixar movie the same way) he shows how both a traditional identity (in a nutshell—how others define me) and modern identity (again, in a nutshell—how I define myself) ultimately fall short of what they promise to deliver. These are fragile structures that will ultimately collapse. Instead of leaving us hopeless, he shows us how Christ’s definition of us sets us free from the rat race. Cary has a great way of using his own stories to make these truths come alive. As he unpacks Scripture you will find yourself transported back in time walking with Peter and Paul as God remade their identities. As you read this book time will fly and your spirit will be ministered to.
Stop Trying is broken up into three parts. The first part shows us the fragility of the false identities we so often cling to. The second part builds us back up as we learn to find our identity in Jesus. The final part walks us through how Jesus’s definition of us transforms our lives. We learn how Jesus reshapes hardship, resolves fear, grows our resilience, makes peace with the difficult people and situations in our lives, and leads us to worship. Failure and difficulty no longer define us, Jesus does.
January 4, 2021
The best book on identity I’ve ever read! A must read for anyone who has struggled with finding their way in a world that is constantly placing demands on who or what they should follow or please. Gospel-based principles are mixed with Disney references and personal stories in a way that both entertains and educates the reader.
Cary Schmidt is a gifted storyteller and Bible teacher, and he uses practical illustrations and examples to bring gospel truths and Bible principles to life. This book is profound in what it teaches, but is not overly theological and difficult to comprehend. Schmidt’s writings have challenged and encouraged my personal life repeatedly, and this one is no exception.
In “Stop Trying”, he walks the reader through the process of unearthing what type of identity structure they naturally live in, and then enumerates the ways that both of these structures leave empty and lacking. He then guides you into an understanding of what a gospel identity really is, and how we can embrace living with an identity formed only by Christ. As someone who lived with a “traditional” identity and extremely “performance-driven” self, this book was one I wish I’d had years ago!
If you long to break free from living defined by what others expect from you, or conversely, from the modern identity you are trying to craft yourself, this book should top your list!
Cary Schmidt is a gifted storyteller and Bible teacher, and he uses practical illustrations and examples to bring gospel truths and Bible principles to life. This book is profound in what it teaches, but is not overly theological and difficult to comprehend. Schmidt’s writings have challenged and encouraged my personal life repeatedly, and this one is no exception.
In “Stop Trying”, he walks the reader through the process of unearthing what type of identity structure they naturally live in, and then enumerates the ways that both of these structures leave empty and lacking. He then guides you into an understanding of what a gospel identity really is, and how we can embrace living with an identity formed only by Christ. As someone who lived with a “traditional” identity and extremely “performance-driven” self, this book was one I wish I’d had years ago!
If you long to break free from living defined by what others expect from you, or conversely, from the modern identity you are trying to craft yourself, this book should top your list!
January 7, 2021
This book is a finely tuned read on the identity struggle inate in all of us. It puts “skin” to something I have felt but never would have been able to articulate. Like a caring doctor, Cary Schmidt came alongside, to help me identify a problem, explain the struggle, and offer a “solution” to the battle. His book is wrapped in great comparisons, observable truth, and valid arguments. It points us to a message found in scripture and easily recognizable by our hearts and minds.
Cary Schmidt takes the reader on an engaging journey of knowledge and application. You stay moving. With a topic like this, it would be easy to dive into so much explanation that the reader gets lost in the minutiae of psychology or theology and have to force themselves to reconnect to the point.
I imagine it would be just as easy to move through the topic assuming people “get it” and miss the point.
The book is easy to understand, enjoyable to read, insightful for life, and helpful for change!
As an odd side note- I love the paper used in the book! Weird, I know, but it was unique. Printers take note! :)
I was given an advanced copy to share my unbiased opinion.
Cary Schmidt takes the reader on an engaging journey of knowledge and application. You stay moving. With a topic like this, it would be easy to dive into so much explanation that the reader gets lost in the minutiae of psychology or theology and have to force themselves to reconnect to the point.
I imagine it would be just as easy to move through the topic assuming people “get it” and miss the point.
The book is easy to understand, enjoyable to read, insightful for life, and helpful for change!
As an odd side note- I love the paper used in the book! Weird, I know, but it was unique. Printers take note! :)
I was given an advanced copy to share my unbiased opinion.
January 7, 2021
I received an early release copy of this book, which was a huge blessing. Let me just start by saying this book could not have come out at a better time. When many people are having labels and “identities” shoved on them from all sides; this book challenges us to reject all of those and identify with Jesus Christ. Traditional or conservative American identity is to live in the traditional identity which is fragile. In recent history, western culture has been embracing the “modern identity” and it is increasing in influence. Pastor Cary does an excellent job of analyzing both identities and showing the weakness of both in light of the glorious truth that a justified, regenerate saint can choose a “third option”.
The greatest strength of this book in my opinion is that the Gospel was the main focus and was shown to be something we can live in every day. The mixture of down-to-earth stories and accurately interpreted Scriptures made this work accessible and powerful. Here’s just one example of a quote: “The Gospel makes your eyes goes up and your heart go deep. Your identity goes vertical. You rest in ultimate reality – I belong to God and He has given me all of Himself.”
These fifteen chapters concisely capture the truths that evidently the author has worked through for years. Lastly, what I will find unforgettable about this book is the unpacking of the identities of characters in Scripture. From Peter, Paul, John, and Barnabas we see the true work of the Gospel. This is not a “Let go and let God” kind of book, but rather a “run into the open arms of a loving heavenly Father who will carry you” book. We can trust Him, because He is “Full of Grace and Truth.”
The greatest strength of this book in my opinion is that the Gospel was the main focus and was shown to be something we can live in every day. The mixture of down-to-earth stories and accurately interpreted Scriptures made this work accessible and powerful. Here’s just one example of a quote: “The Gospel makes your eyes goes up and your heart go deep. Your identity goes vertical. You rest in ultimate reality – I belong to God and He has given me all of Himself.”
These fifteen chapters concisely capture the truths that evidently the author has worked through for years. Lastly, what I will find unforgettable about this book is the unpacking of the identities of characters in Scripture. From Peter, Paul, John, and Barnabas we see the true work of the Gospel. This is not a “Let go and let God” kind of book, but rather a “run into the open arms of a loving heavenly Father who will carry you” book. We can trust Him, because He is “Full of Grace and Truth.”
January 7, 2021
Cary Schmidt has an ability to provide insight into topics in a way that is enjoyable, while also engaging and practical.
In Stop Trying, Cary has provided some much needed insight into a more practical side of the Christian life. Many struggle with the internal battle of determinging who they are, and why they are here. Cary has given the proper focal point for every Christian, the Gosel. It is only through the understanding and application of the profound truths the Gospel presents that we as individuals can learn who God desires for us to be.
For many the practical nature will help many Christians, whether they are newly saved or have been saved for years, to be able to grasp these sometimes elusive realities. Taking the time to read Stop Trying will be beneficial for any Christian, whether you are struggling with understanding your identity in Christ or simply refreshing these truths in you mind.
In Stop Trying, Cary has provided some much needed insight into a more practical side of the Christian life. Many struggle with the internal battle of determinging who they are, and why they are here. Cary has given the proper focal point for every Christian, the Gosel. It is only through the understanding and application of the profound truths the Gospel presents that we as individuals can learn who God desires for us to be.
For many the practical nature will help many Christians, whether they are newly saved or have been saved for years, to be able to grasp these sometimes elusive realities. Taking the time to read Stop Trying will be beneficial for any Christian, whether you are struggling with understanding your identity in Christ or simply refreshing these truths in you mind.
January 7, 2021
This book has opened my eyes so much to becoming the true Christian God wants me to me! I love the personal stories and illustrations that are so relatable. God used Cary Schmidt in a mighty way through this book!! This book revealed to me that I desperately needed to stop trying to find my identity in man or myself and find it in God only!! I definitely recommend this book to every Christian!! Excited to read it again. Thanks Bro. Cary for allowing God to use you as His instrument for His glory.
January 7, 2021
The content in this book has honestly changed my life.
Cary does an incredible job guiding the reader through a modern identity, a traditional identity, and what it means to find your identity in Christ.
In a culture that’s constantly pressuring me to find my identity in my career, my family, my hobbies or interests, or even in my sense of self worth, this book is a LIGHTHOUSE.
It’s a must read.
Cary does an incredible job guiding the reader through a modern identity, a traditional identity, and what it means to find your identity in Christ.
In a culture that’s constantly pressuring me to find my identity in my career, my family, my hobbies or interests, or even in my sense of self worth, this book is a LIGHTHOUSE.
It’s a must read.
January 7, 2021
What I loved most was how Cary Schmidt told the stories of Bible characters in a way that made them real people I could relate to. The Apostle Peter was a Jewish fisherman who lived 2,000 years ago, but I never realized how much we have in common! Wherever you are on your identity journey, I promise this book will help and encourage you.
March 29, 2021
In our culture today, we desperately need teaching on our identity in Christ. This book is relevant to today, easy to read, and Biblical. Very helpful.
January 7, 2021
Stop Trying is a wonderful book to read in this current day. Cary Schmidt has a way of drawing the reader in with his personal experiences. His writing is honest, relative and refreshing.
January 4, 2021
This book was a huge help!!! Everyone should read it!!! If you have ever asked "who am I?" This book help answers that question, from a gospel perspective. This book will help break down the frail identities we are told we have to make for ourselves. Then gives a guide for how to build an identity that will stand against what this world throws at us.
January 15, 2021
Cary has done a superb job in contrasting the sources from which we obtain our identities. This was a timely read for me personally, as I am currently serving as the Senior Pastor of a church I have been at for over 6 years now. I truly could have benefited from this insight, over 17 years ago when I first stepped into full time ministry. I love this quote from the book: “Weak identities never give true vertical validation. If others define you or you define you, then your definition is horizontal. We’re looking in the wrong direction.” Thankful for the help this book has been in clarifying where our true identity rests.
December 18, 2020
Both traditional and modern identities will eventually end in disillusionment. In Stop Trying, Cary Schmidt outlines why the gospel of Christ is the only authentic identity and transparently shares how God has guided him through this process of discovery. This book will inform your faith and energize your Christian walk. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to better understand how the gospel can anchor our understanding of God, ourselves, and our role as His children.
December 3, 2020
Identity is a popular subject these days, even among Christians. Cary Schmidt’s newest book is thoughtful and well-written. I found it an easy read, and very encouraging. If Christians were in the Word like they should be, and speaking daily to the Author of that Book, this book would be absolutely unnecessary. But if it takes this book to drive you to that Book, then this is a good place to start. It’s available for pre-order now.
December 17, 2020
Have you ever wondered why you can never experience real and lasting joy even when you seem to be on top of the world? Cary Schmidt nails this question and much more.
This book is a joy to read with many personal stories combined with biblical truths. I learned so much about myself and struggles I have had. I wish this book was available 20 years ago!
So I obviously highly recommend Past Carey's fine work.
This book is a joy to read with many personal stories combined with biblical truths. I learned so much about myself and struggles I have had. I wish this book was available 20 years ago!
So I obviously highly recommend Past Carey's fine work.
December 1, 2020
Fantastic! So thankful for the truth about my identity in this book!
May 28, 2021
One of my goals this year is to grow closer in my relationship with God. This means spending more time with Him through reading the Bible and praying, but I think Christian books are also helpful. But it's important not to replace them with God's Word.
Identity is something that I think everyone has struggled with at a point in their life. Who am I? What or who defines me? These are all very important questions and if this is something you struggle with, I highly recommend this book. I don't think this book is just for Christians, I think everyone can benefit from it.
Pastor Cary Schmidt explains three different identities. The first is the traditional identity, which tells me I am who others expect me to be. The second is a modern identity that tells me I am who I say I am. Pastor Schmidt quotes that "Both objectify, depersonalize, reduce, and burden me with the impossible hard work of self-salvation . . . Either we will be who others say we must be, or we will be whoever we want to be. We live up to others' demands or to our own. We work hard for others or work hard for ourselves. It's a simple "you define me or I define me."
Thankfully, there is a third identity, known as the gospel identity. This is an identity that we don't have to work to achieve, but simply receive it.
"The gospel makes your eyes go up and your heart go deep. Your identity goes vertical. You rest in ultimate reality - I belong to God and He has given me all of Himself. You don't live to please others or yourself because God finds pleasure in you through Jesus - and living in and out of HIs pleasure is the most defining and joyfully motivating experience in life."
I think this book is essential to read, especially in the society we live in today, where the world is very "you-centered" and not God-centered. I am so thankful to God that I have read it because it's so very relatable. It talks about so many important topics and what I loved the most about it was that Schmidt uses personal stories from his own life and it is full of Bible verses and stories. I laughed while reading it, I felt conviction and I also cried.
I think this is a book that I will be coming back to. I can honestly say that I've struggled with my identity a lot. Sometimes I question who I am and I care too much about what people think of me or what I do and how well I do it. But a gospel identity can't be achieved, it can only be received through Jesus Christ. The book talks about all three types of identities in such detail and how weak the first two are and how they won't hold up.
Now this is not to say that I am strong, but each and every day is a choice to choose Christ and walk in the gospel identity. My gender, desires or sexuality doesn't define me. I don't define myself and others don't define me. These are all temporal things. My identity is firm in who I am in Christ.
I highly recommend this book to everyone. Whether you're a Christian or non-Christian struggling with identity, or you're simply curious about it. It's life-changing and it will make you see the world in a very different way. I think that this book will do a better job at explaining it more than me. While I did learn many things from it, I think that I will have to go back and reread it. It's full of wisdom.
Thank you to Moody Publishers for providing me with a copy in exchange for my honest review.
Identity is something that I think everyone has struggled with at a point in their life. Who am I? What or who defines me? These are all very important questions and if this is something you struggle with, I highly recommend this book. I don't think this book is just for Christians, I think everyone can benefit from it.
Pastor Cary Schmidt explains three different identities. The first is the traditional identity, which tells me I am who others expect me to be. The second is a modern identity that tells me I am who I say I am. Pastor Schmidt quotes that "Both objectify, depersonalize, reduce, and burden me with the impossible hard work of self-salvation . . . Either we will be who others say we must be, or we will be whoever we want to be. We live up to others' demands or to our own. We work hard for others or work hard for ourselves. It's a simple "you define me or I define me."
Thankfully, there is a third identity, known as the gospel identity. This is an identity that we don't have to work to achieve, but simply receive it.
"The gospel makes your eyes go up and your heart go deep. Your identity goes vertical. You rest in ultimate reality - I belong to God and He has given me all of Himself. You don't live to please others or yourself because God finds pleasure in you through Jesus - and living in and out of HIs pleasure is the most defining and joyfully motivating experience in life."
I think this book is essential to read, especially in the society we live in today, where the world is very "you-centered" and not God-centered. I am so thankful to God that I have read it because it's so very relatable. It talks about so many important topics and what I loved the most about it was that Schmidt uses personal stories from his own life and it is full of Bible verses and stories. I laughed while reading it, I felt conviction and I also cried.
I think this is a book that I will be coming back to. I can honestly say that I've struggled with my identity a lot. Sometimes I question who I am and I care too much about what people think of me or what I do and how well I do it. But a gospel identity can't be achieved, it can only be received through Jesus Christ. The book talks about all three types of identities in such detail and how weak the first two are and how they won't hold up.
Now this is not to say that I am strong, but each and every day is a choice to choose Christ and walk in the gospel identity. My gender, desires or sexuality doesn't define me. I don't define myself and others don't define me. These are all temporal things. My identity is firm in who I am in Christ.
I highly recommend this book to everyone. Whether you're a Christian or non-Christian struggling with identity, or you're simply curious about it. It's life-changing and it will make you see the world in a very different way. I think that this book will do a better job at explaining it more than me. While I did learn many things from it, I think that I will have to go back and reread it. It's full of wisdom.
Thank you to Moody Publishers for providing me with a copy in exchange for my honest review.
January 7, 2021
Have you ever felt like the pursuit to be or do more is always out of your grasp? Cary’s book deals with the reality of that question and leads you to the freeing waters of an identity centered on the Gospel.
Throughout our journey of life, we spend our days toiling to achieve the identity impressed upon us by our peers. And as our human need for approval grows as we get older, we begin to realize to achieve that affirmation from others, we must begin the pursuit of more...do more, give more, be better, serve and work harder and so on. Ironically we are never told if we have achieved it, but rather that we should keep reaching for it.
The indelible trap that comes with this need to either make people or God happy, is allowing the success, or let’s be real, the failure, to determine your value. So we try harder and promise to be more, but find out that is a continuously moving target.
Cary’s book presents a different way for living. He craftily through Bible stories and real life examples presents to us that through our relationship with Jesus, we find that we are accepted, loved, favored and valuable. This amazing identity flows from Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for our salvation. This new identity far surpasses anything imposed upon us by society or our peers. Discovering this identity that God has designed specifically for you is truly freeing!
I found this book to bring healing and strengthening to my Christian walk. As I read this book, I cried, I laughed a ton, I was convicted which brought confession, but most of all, I would say the truths found in this book lead me to worship.
I highly recommend you get a copy!!
Throughout our journey of life, we spend our days toiling to achieve the identity impressed upon us by our peers. And as our human need for approval grows as we get older, we begin to realize to achieve that affirmation from others, we must begin the pursuit of more...do more, give more, be better, serve and work harder and so on. Ironically we are never told if we have achieved it, but rather that we should keep reaching for it.
The indelible trap that comes with this need to either make people or God happy, is allowing the success, or let’s be real, the failure, to determine your value. So we try harder and promise to be more, but find out that is a continuously moving target.
Cary’s book presents a different way for living. He craftily through Bible stories and real life examples presents to us that through our relationship with Jesus, we find that we are accepted, loved, favored and valuable. This amazing identity flows from Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for our salvation. This new identity far surpasses anything imposed upon us by society or our peers. Discovering this identity that God has designed specifically for you is truly freeing!
I found this book to bring healing and strengthening to my Christian walk. As I read this book, I cried, I laughed a ton, I was convicted which brought confession, but most of all, I would say the truths found in this book lead me to worship.
I highly recommend you get a copy!!
March 6, 2021
***DISCLAIMER: I RECEIVED THIS BOOK FOR FREE FROM MOODY PUBLISHERS TO REVIEW***
Cary Schmidt’s Stop Trying: How To Receive — Not Achieve — Your Real Identity represents the third book I have reviewed for Moody Publishers for 2021. I chose this book because it appeared to address the concept of identity. I usually cringe when I hear the term “identity” used in Christian circles (specifically from behind the pulpit). However, I had not read a Christian book pertaining to the topic of identity in a while (if ever). Moreover, I had never reviewed a book by Cary Schmidt until I reviewed this one.
STRUCTURE
The book has fifteen chapters spread amongst three parts (5 in the 1st, 4 in the 2nd, 6 in the 3rd). The three parts pertain to losing, finding and flourishing (respectively) regarding one’s identity. This book’s back cover states that in Schmidt’s book, “You’ll understand why defining your identity outside of Jesus Christ is ultimately fragile, hollow, and unsatisfying.” Unfortunately for Schmidt, those three adjectives (fragile, hollow and unsatisfying) are the same adjectives I would use to (spoiler alert) describe this book. This is so because of the following reasons:
1) He treats Scripture irreverently
2) He promotes this nonsensical concept of "dreams"
3) In a general sense, there are too many bones than there is meat in this book.
You find the full review at:
https://earnestlayman.wordpress.com/2...
Cary Schmidt’s Stop Trying: How To Receive — Not Achieve — Your Real Identity represents the third book I have reviewed for Moody Publishers for 2021. I chose this book because it appeared to address the concept of identity. I usually cringe when I hear the term “identity” used in Christian circles (specifically from behind the pulpit). However, I had not read a Christian book pertaining to the topic of identity in a while (if ever). Moreover, I had never reviewed a book by Cary Schmidt until I reviewed this one.
STRUCTURE
The book has fifteen chapters spread amongst three parts (5 in the 1st, 4 in the 2nd, 6 in the 3rd). The three parts pertain to losing, finding and flourishing (respectively) regarding one’s identity. This book’s back cover states that in Schmidt’s book, “You’ll understand why defining your identity outside of Jesus Christ is ultimately fragile, hollow, and unsatisfying.” Unfortunately for Schmidt, those three adjectives (fragile, hollow and unsatisfying) are the same adjectives I would use to (spoiler alert) describe this book. This is so because of the following reasons:
1) He treats Scripture irreverently
2) He promotes this nonsensical concept of "dreams"
3) In a general sense, there are too many bones than there is meat in this book.
You find the full review at:
https://earnestlayman.wordpress.com/2...
February 11, 2021
In the quest to help others discover who they really are, Cary Schmidt takes us on his own journey--a journey he acknowledges that started well into his adulthood, after decades of faithfully serving the Lord. As is often the case, it took a deep trial to open his eyes to what and who was defining him, therefore, what and who he lived for. I am grateful for Cary's use of Scripture and transparent testimony throughout this book. Profound truths are presented in simple, clear ways. I especially appreciate the way he shows the differences between traditional, modern, and gospel identities. This chart alone is worth the price of the book. Personally, having fallen squarely, smack-dab into the traditional identity trap, then felled by trauma, I sang "amen" every step of the way as Cary wrote about working for our worth and bargaining with God. Professionally, a biblical counselor who has read many (repeat many) books on this subject, I am recommending this to my counselees, colleagues, and friends.
January 8, 2021
The book will help believers understand how the Bible approaches the topic of identity and use this opportunity to show how the gospel meets this need for every person. While this is a frequent topic in popular media...few reliable resources are available that can apply bible truth to the questions and confusion created by secular experts. The book offers an approach that respects the reader’s initial understanding; develops the differences between a modern and traditional view of identity and demonstrates the ability of the gospel to address these gaps for all believers. As a member of Pastor Cary Schmidt’s congregation, I have seen these principles taught and applied to both new believers and seasoned spiritual leaders with effective results. The book will be useful for personal development, family devotions, and small study groups.
January 29, 2021
Cary's book is an amazing journey through his own personal search for identity that will connect with you and help you to begin yours. By writing in a way that seeks to connect with the reader and not just transfer information to them, he makes it easy see yourself in the situations presented and identify your own leanings towards the identities presented. By the end of the book you see your need and the great value of not trying to develop an identity based upon you or anyone else and how true freedom to live in with a peace that passes all understanding is rooted in receiving your identity in Jesus.
May 2, 2021
When I first began reading this book, I had to simply Thank God for sending it my way! The message met me right where I needed it most. This book expresses truth about big picture Christian perspective and identity that is a soothing balm to anyone who has ever felt the need or pressure to achieve and / or please in order to be accepted or promoted in their Christian walk or ministry. Thankful for the insightful, yet, entertaining presentation of an perspective of self and God in light of eternity. This is a must read in today’s world for anyone seeking to truly grasp who they are in Christ.
September 21, 2022
This had some great truth about our new life/identity in Christ and fascinating analysis about the faux identities our culture preaches. It looks at both a traditional western identity (think conservative boomer) and a modern identity (think woke millennial) and how they both fall short of God’s truth.
The author retells Bible stories and adds a lot about what the biblical characters were supposedly feeling. For some reason this always rubs me the wrong way (unpopular opinion: this is part of why I don’t love The Jesus Storybook Bible).
I think this could be a really life changing book for anyone who hasn’t learned much about the believer’s life and source in Christ.
The author retells Bible stories and adds a lot about what the biblical characters were supposedly feeling. For some reason this always rubs me the wrong way (unpopular opinion: this is part of why I don’t love The Jesus Storybook Bible).
I think this could be a really life changing book for anyone who hasn’t learned much about the believer’s life and source in Christ.
June 18, 2025
Such an encouraging and sympathetic read from Pastor Cary on our identity in Jesus. He has three paradigms to contrast here: traditional identity (others define me/performance), modern identity (I define me/follow desires), and best of all: gospel identity (I am who God says I am in Jesus). He makes helpful distinctions because we often try to follow Christ based in self-efforts, which is actually traditional, not gospel. Gospel identity is to received, not achieved. We love and obey out of abundance, forgiveness, joy, and being loved, not to achieve these things. Some good personal family stories throughout add heart and relatability.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 8, 2021
My wife and I read this book and thoroughly enjoyed it. Living in a world that constantly wants to throw identity labels at us, what a great reminder to re-commit to the identity we have in Christ.
Cary writes with an amazingly clear, conversational voice. As a reader, I felt like we were sitting down over coffee, sharing our life stories together. The transparency, the practicality, as well as the theological center of the premise makes it a book I can heartily recommend and I view this as a book to be read often.
Buy it! You'll not regret it.
Cary writes with an amazingly clear, conversational voice. As a reader, I felt like we were sitting down over coffee, sharing our life stories together. The transparency, the practicality, as well as the theological center of the premise makes it a book I can heartily recommend and I view this as a book to be read often.
Buy it! You'll not regret it.
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