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Fuse: Memoir
Painfully and at times, reluctantly, Fuse probes and explores the documented prevalence of mental health issues in biracial women. Fuse has elements of memoir, but does not follow a traditional linear narrative. Rather, the book is a series of meditations that probe different parts of Hollay’s fractured biracial experience, including eating and anxiety disorders, self-mutilation, sex, motherhood, and the simultaneous allure and rejection of aesthetic beauty. In Fuse, Hollay speaks to the struggle to construct a fluid identity in a world that wants to peg you down: what you are, and are not. While Hollay’s experiences are personal, the issues surrounding the biracial identity are wide-spread. A dialogue on the tensions surrounding the female bi-racial mind and body is long overdue.
170 pages, Paperback
Published May 1, 2021
9 people are currently reading
625 people want to read
About the author
Hollay Ghadery
5 books54 followersHollay Ghadery is a multi-genre writer living in Ontario on Anishinaabe land. She has her MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Guelph. Fuse, her memoir of mixed-race identity and mental health, was released by Guernica Editions in 2021 and won the 2023 Canadian Bookclub Award for Nonfiction/Memoir. Her collection of poetry, Rebellion Box was released by Radiant Press in 2023, and her collection of short fiction, Widow Fantasies, was released with Gordon Hill Press in fall 2024 and was longlisted for the Toronto Book Award. Her debut novel, The Unraveling of Ou, is due out with Palimpsest Press in 2026, and her children’s book, Being with the Birds, with Guernica Editions in 2027. Hollay is a host on The New Books Network, as well as a co-host on HOWL on CIUT 89.5 FM. She is also a book publicist, the Regional Chair of the League of Canadian Poets and a co-chair of the League’s BIPOC committee, as well as the Poet Laureate of Scugog Township. Learn more about Hollay at www.hollayghadery.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 60 reviews
April 19, 2021
Fuse was phenomenal. Hollay Ghadery is a skillful writer. Her style is both direct and evocative. Most importantly, she is refreshingly vulnerable. As someone living with an anxiety disorder, I was thrilled to see such an honest discussion around mental health struggles.
Her work resonated with me in a deeper level. I saw my own experiences captured in the page in a way I have never seen before. I found myself constantly thinking "yes, this is what it's like". The negative self-talk, the internal war between what you feel and what you know you should feel, the moments of co-regulation-- all are beautifully illustrated here.
I truly hope this book gets the attention it deserves! It is a wonderful piece of literature.
Her work resonated with me in a deeper level. I saw my own experiences captured in the page in a way I have never seen before. I found myself constantly thinking "yes, this is what it's like". The negative self-talk, the internal war between what you feel and what you know you should feel, the moments of co-regulation-- all are beautifully illustrated here.
I truly hope this book gets the attention it deserves! It is a wonderful piece of literature.
August 10, 2021
Hollay Ghadery's memoir is ruminative and probing but also scintillating and raw. The experiences of the narrator are conveyed with lyrical intensity, images speaking volumes, confession tearing down defenses, hers and ours, the gamut of emotions displayed. The psycho-social explanations the author offers are points of calm, and welcome, but inevitably come across as a little tame in comparison. Fuse sets out to drag you deep into a stormy and brilliant mind that wants to lay it all on the line--and, believe me, I was more than willing to go there.
September 12, 2021
A thoughtful, and though-provoking examination of the pressures inflicted on bi-racial bodies, but not limited to bi-racial bodies. I found myself nodding along to so many things the author discusses. Clear-eyed and beautifully constructed. An engaging and informative read. Well done.
February 2, 2021
Hollay encompasses the details of her upbringing and the difficulties faced by many biracial women. Sometimes I felt like she was writing about my experience being mixed. It was also fascinating to read about what it is like to be mixed in the context of her heritage. Thank you for bringing these topics to light.
March 8, 2021
As a lifelong friend of Hollay, watching her goes through the highs & lows of her earlier life and still rise above is remarkable. Although I can’t imagine the struggles she experienced first hand, what I do know is how much strength & courage it took for her to open up and be vulnerable enough to share her story. Proud of you Holls, amazing job my friend!! You’re a phenomenal writer 💕
April 16, 2021
This is a powerfully honest and exquisitely written book. Ghadery writes with a candor that is refreshing and relatable:
"I'm going to be okay. I told myself it was going to be okay for now, if I could just stay in this moment - if only everything would just stay as it was.
Of course, it never does. Life gets messy." (p.42, Fuse)
Once I started reading Fuse, I couldn't put it down. One of the best books I have read this year. Highly recommended.
"I'm going to be okay. I told myself it was going to be okay for now, if I could just stay in this moment - if only everything would just stay as it was.
Of course, it never does. Life gets messy." (p.42, Fuse)
Once I started reading Fuse, I couldn't put it down. One of the best books I have read this year. Highly recommended.
April 23, 2021
FUSE is a superbly written, starkly self-aware memoir at the intersection of mood disorder and biracial identity. Worthy of a spot on your shelf next to Jesse Thistle’s FROM THE ASHES and Carmen Maria Machado’s IN THE DREAM HOUSE.
August 8, 2023
Fuse by Hollay Ghadery is a collection of thoughtful essays by an Ontario author about her experiences with patriarchy, religion, mental illness, and overwhelming feelings of “otherness.” Stopping short of 200 pages, it is a quick read that I stewed on for quite a while before writing this review. After all, what is there left to say after Ghadery leaves it all on the table?
To say that Fuse is an honest book would be an understatement. Deeply personal and vulnerable, the collection allows Ghadery to open up about her struggles, thoughts, and feelings that many would keep private. Delving into the depths of her own anger, OCD, and range of eating disorders, Fuse allows Ghadery to flit through time, explaining the origin of her “self” through various lenses, showing the intersectionality of her womanhood and experiences.
Personally, my favourite line in any of the essays was in Vanity Muscle, when Ghadery finally talks about her time as a personal trainer – something that has been briefly mentioned in other parts of the book. She explains that many of her fellow trainers would encourage their clients by using the adage, “Pain is beauty.” Ghadery could never bring herself to use that same line, having struggled with body image issues her whole life. After analyzing the phase she writes, “[I] knew I would never be able to suffer enough to be beautiful.”
While at the time Ghadery may have seen this as a defeatist thought, I prefer to think of it differently, more retrospectively. I choose to interpret this line as a powerful statement of refusing to succumb, refusing to punish yourself. Much of Fuse is written as an encouragement to other biracial, struggling women, encouraging them to connect with themselves despite the conflicting pressures that may be put on them.
Something I particularly appreciated in Fuse was Ghadery’s melange of peer-reviewed science and personal anecdote. She explained complex chemistry in an accessible way, without making me feel like a baby. For example, she integrated scientific explanations of the intersections between biracial women and anxiety into her storytelling to help the reader understand the complexity and magnitude of the issues she discussed within her collection.
I left the book knowing some of the deepest, often darkest, personal details about Ghadery’s life, but feeling like I knew nothing about her day-to-day, her real life. And I think that's for the best. Magically, Fuse walks the line of sharing personal details without feeling as if the book is selling- out the author's life. So often are modern writers and artists expected to give away every piece of themselves in order to maintain relevancy and be allowed to share their work at a larger scale. This book does not give in to that requirement, which is fitting, as it is a story of resilience.
To say that Fuse is an honest book would be an understatement. Deeply personal and vulnerable, the collection allows Ghadery to open up about her struggles, thoughts, and feelings that many would keep private. Delving into the depths of her own anger, OCD, and range of eating disorders, Fuse allows Ghadery to flit through time, explaining the origin of her “self” through various lenses, showing the intersectionality of her womanhood and experiences.
Personally, my favourite line in any of the essays was in Vanity Muscle, when Ghadery finally talks about her time as a personal trainer – something that has been briefly mentioned in other parts of the book. She explains that many of her fellow trainers would encourage their clients by using the adage, “Pain is beauty.” Ghadery could never bring herself to use that same line, having struggled with body image issues her whole life. After analyzing the phase she writes, “[I] knew I would never be able to suffer enough to be beautiful.”
While at the time Ghadery may have seen this as a defeatist thought, I prefer to think of it differently, more retrospectively. I choose to interpret this line as a powerful statement of refusing to succumb, refusing to punish yourself. Much of Fuse is written as an encouragement to other biracial, struggling women, encouraging them to connect with themselves despite the conflicting pressures that may be put on them.
Something I particularly appreciated in Fuse was Ghadery’s melange of peer-reviewed science and personal anecdote. She explained complex chemistry in an accessible way, without making me feel like a baby. For example, she integrated scientific explanations of the intersections between biracial women and anxiety into her storytelling to help the reader understand the complexity and magnitude of the issues she discussed within her collection.
I left the book knowing some of the deepest, often darkest, personal details about Ghadery’s life, but feeling like I knew nothing about her day-to-day, her real life. And I think that's for the best. Magically, Fuse walks the line of sharing personal details without feeling as if the book is selling- out the author's life. So often are modern writers and artists expected to give away every piece of themselves in order to maintain relevancy and be allowed to share their work at a larger scale. This book does not give in to that requirement, which is fitting, as it is a story of resilience.
December 14, 2024
Turning the final page on this literary memoir I find my head spinning, mind struggling to form an articulate, coherent summary beyond an overwhelming and incontrovertible — Wow.
So here we are - my own “fusion” of somewhat disconnected (utterly blown-away) impressions underlying this incredible work.
First, with sheer and absolute brilliance, this author can really, really write, — stringing words together into streams of such startling clarity and beauty that in many cases it simply took my breath away.
“I was learning that you can’t fill the void. You can only feed it.”
“I hung off his words, scanning the lake — its wide wet eye, an open wound on my right.”
No other medium comes close to a memoir with its potential to share first-hand a life, a heart, and a soul, and in so sharing reach an unparalleled richness of emotional connection with the reader. And no other memoir has affected me quite the way this particular work has. Absolutely superlative in its rawness, vulnerability, authenticity, openness and introspection — the author (with the finesse mentioned above) literally guts herself for the reader, achieving an end result that is really, truly, and quite incredibly, incandescent.
“He’d call me Mom in his sweet, squeaky voice and for a moment that would be all I’d want to be for him, forever. But moments like this are breathless, and one cannot live without air “.
Beginning with her torturous family dynamics, the author outlines her psychological devastation from a very young age, as her Iranian father entangles himself, deeply and abominably, — dictating values, threats, and misogynistically hideous “truths” from which the author could not possibly emerge unfractured.
“We all shatter differently, breaking away over time or all at once”
Equally challenged in her ability to emotionally connect with her white, British and also-struggling mother, the author never feels whole in an identity fragmented by layers of cultural conflict, misogyny, racism, emotional abuse, body dysmorphia, mental illness, substance abuse, and bullying.
“I didnt know of another way to deal with the hugeness of these pressing emotions.
All the hate, fear, frustration, longing and sadness”.
In penning this memoir, and confronting her truths, the author acknowledges, “There’s an atomic lightness that comes with seeing people and things for what they really are at their root”.
It’s clear that we (shattered humans, all) cannot help but experience this compelling work as primal and lovely, — in its telling a deeply and firmly-grounding confirmation of our shared humanity.
A great big thank you to the author and the publisher for an ARC of this book. (Which also sports one of the loveliest cover-art images this reader has ever seen).
All thoughts presented are my own.
#guernicaeditions #river_street_writes #hollayghadery
So here we are - my own “fusion” of somewhat disconnected (utterly blown-away) impressions underlying this incredible work.
First, with sheer and absolute brilliance, this author can really, really write, — stringing words together into streams of such startling clarity and beauty that in many cases it simply took my breath away.
“I was learning that you can’t fill the void. You can only feed it.”
“I hung off his words, scanning the lake — its wide wet eye, an open wound on my right.”
No other medium comes close to a memoir with its potential to share first-hand a life, a heart, and a soul, and in so sharing reach an unparalleled richness of emotional connection with the reader. And no other memoir has affected me quite the way this particular work has. Absolutely superlative in its rawness, vulnerability, authenticity, openness and introspection — the author (with the finesse mentioned above) literally guts herself for the reader, achieving an end result that is really, truly, and quite incredibly, incandescent.
“He’d call me Mom in his sweet, squeaky voice and for a moment that would be all I’d want to be for him, forever. But moments like this are breathless, and one cannot live without air “.
Beginning with her torturous family dynamics, the author outlines her psychological devastation from a very young age, as her Iranian father entangles himself, deeply and abominably, — dictating values, threats, and misogynistically hideous “truths” from which the author could not possibly emerge unfractured.
“We all shatter differently, breaking away over time or all at once”
Equally challenged in her ability to emotionally connect with her white, British and also-struggling mother, the author never feels whole in an identity fragmented by layers of cultural conflict, misogyny, racism, emotional abuse, body dysmorphia, mental illness, substance abuse, and bullying.
“I didnt know of another way to deal with the hugeness of these pressing emotions.
All the hate, fear, frustration, longing and sadness”.
In penning this memoir, and confronting her truths, the author acknowledges, “There’s an atomic lightness that comes with seeing people and things for what they really are at their root”.
It’s clear that we (shattered humans, all) cannot help but experience this compelling work as primal and lovely, — in its telling a deeply and firmly-grounding confirmation of our shared humanity.
A great big thank you to the author and the publisher for an ARC of this book. (Which also sports one of the loveliest cover-art images this reader has ever seen).
All thoughts presented are my own.
#guernicaeditions #river_street_writes #hollayghadery
March 28, 2021
I finished reading this book a couple of days ago but needed time to absorb all of its nuances, elegant language, brave self-declarations and deeply personal meditations. This is a memoir about identity, not only as a biracial, bicultural individual but as a feminist caught between established family norms, cultural expectations and self-definition. It is a Bildungsroman of a young person flailing about in desperate rebellion as she engages in high-risk and self-destructive behaviours. The revelations are raw and deep as she shares her punishing history of mental illness, body image and addiction.
But this not a depressing narrative. Instead, it is the celebration of a difficult journey and the partial victories that have been hard won. Infused with gentle moments of love and exquisite happiness, Ghadery’s portraits of her family, her partner, and her children are tender and passionate. In some respects, there is a duality to the stories -- an undertone of steadfast love that somehow has allowed her to claw a way through her painful experiences. When describing the awe of loving her child, for instance, “Because of sparkling idolatry; my baby’s eyes – they’re warm asphalt after the rain. Because of sticky sweetness that chokes you; a handful of sun-soaked raspberries bleeding sweetness down your throat.”
In one story, Ghadery rages against Wonder Woman and all of the negative stereotypes of feminine beauty idealized in such restrictive portrayals of beauty. And yet, after a struggle, she allows herself to go to the cinema with her five-year-old daughter, who is dressed in a “puffed sleeve pink taffeta dress,” and to enter into her daughter’s happiness, laughing and spinning with her. It is in the clarity of such scenes that we understand Ghadery’s real triumph, as she bends to the needs of those she loves in conscious acts denoting generosity and wisdom.
In this memoir, we see how Ghadery has reconciled the aspects of her duality, and the competing expectations of her role. This is a beautifully-written book and a thought-provoking indictment of the stereotypes, racism and prejudice that confine.
But this not a depressing narrative. Instead, it is the celebration of a difficult journey and the partial victories that have been hard won. Infused with gentle moments of love and exquisite happiness, Ghadery’s portraits of her family, her partner, and her children are tender and passionate. In some respects, there is a duality to the stories -- an undertone of steadfast love that somehow has allowed her to claw a way through her painful experiences. When describing the awe of loving her child, for instance, “Because of sparkling idolatry; my baby’s eyes – they’re warm asphalt after the rain. Because of sticky sweetness that chokes you; a handful of sun-soaked raspberries bleeding sweetness down your throat.”
In one story, Ghadery rages against Wonder Woman and all of the negative stereotypes of feminine beauty idealized in such restrictive portrayals of beauty. And yet, after a struggle, she allows herself to go to the cinema with her five-year-old daughter, who is dressed in a “puffed sleeve pink taffeta dress,” and to enter into her daughter’s happiness, laughing and spinning with her. It is in the clarity of such scenes that we understand Ghadery’s real triumph, as she bends to the needs of those she loves in conscious acts denoting generosity and wisdom.
In this memoir, we see how Ghadery has reconciled the aspects of her duality, and the competing expectations of her role. This is a beautifully-written book and a thought-provoking indictment of the stereotypes, racism and prejudice that confine.
March 31, 2025
Fuse by Hollay Ghadery
Fuse outlines the experiences of being biracial and bicultural, the conflicts and uncertainties surrounding the female body and identity, and how that contributed to her eating disorder. In addition she vulnerably exposes us to what life living with OCD is really like. I learned so much as she shares research and factual information, woven within her personal experiences.
Fuse examines Ghadery’s experiences as Iranian and British from both a biracial and bicultural impact. Beautifully explaining the differences as well as the significantly exhausting pressure on women to live up to the impossible standards of white society. The pressure placed on women far exceeds that placed on men and women are disproportionately impacted by the racial and cultural demands. The linkage to issues regarding identity, eating disorders and addiction is unquestionable. Ghadery walks you through her life so that you can truly understand her isolation and her efforts to gain control of her life. This work is incredibly insightful as she articulates “It was essential that I convey the overwhelming feeling, because without its weight, it would be impossible for anyone else to understand my reality.” Her prose leaves you feeling the weight of her story, her struggles to exist in a world with categories that don’t apply to her, and how she coped with these overwhelming feelings.
We are all familiar with individuals describing themselves as OCD because of a specific need to do something a particular way. But that is not OCD. The intrusive and overwhelming nature of OCD is viscerally depicted, as is the perpetual rage so that the reader is given a small glimpse into that difficult world.
This is a witty, vulnerable and powerful memoir exploring female bodies and identity, motherhood, mental health, addiction and eating disorder. It is a story of resilience and pain, family in all of its complexities and finding your authentic self is an ongoing journey. This book will resonate with women from all paths.
Thank you to River Street Writing for the copy of this book and the opportunity to provide honest feedback.
Fuse outlines the experiences of being biracial and bicultural, the conflicts and uncertainties surrounding the female body and identity, and how that contributed to her eating disorder. In addition she vulnerably exposes us to what life living with OCD is really like. I learned so much as she shares research and factual information, woven within her personal experiences.
Fuse examines Ghadery’s experiences as Iranian and British from both a biracial and bicultural impact. Beautifully explaining the differences as well as the significantly exhausting pressure on women to live up to the impossible standards of white society. The pressure placed on women far exceeds that placed on men and women are disproportionately impacted by the racial and cultural demands. The linkage to issues regarding identity, eating disorders and addiction is unquestionable. Ghadery walks you through her life so that you can truly understand her isolation and her efforts to gain control of her life. This work is incredibly insightful as she articulates “It was essential that I convey the overwhelming feeling, because without its weight, it would be impossible for anyone else to understand my reality.” Her prose leaves you feeling the weight of her story, her struggles to exist in a world with categories that don’t apply to her, and how she coped with these overwhelming feelings.
We are all familiar with individuals describing themselves as OCD because of a specific need to do something a particular way. But that is not OCD. The intrusive and overwhelming nature of OCD is viscerally depicted, as is the perpetual rage so that the reader is given a small glimpse into that difficult world.
This is a witty, vulnerable and powerful memoir exploring female bodies and identity, motherhood, mental health, addiction and eating disorder. It is a story of resilience and pain, family in all of its complexities and finding your authentic self is an ongoing journey. This book will resonate with women from all paths.
Thank you to River Street Writing for the copy of this book and the opportunity to provide honest feedback.
August 16, 2021
The writing could use some more ‘tightening’ up, and there are (numerous) grammatical/typographical (copy editing?) errors along the way… but... it is an incredibly compelling story and a debut at that. And at only 200 pages I read it in pretty much one continuous sitting.
Ghadery writes with brutal honesty and clarity about the multiple intersectionalities that are who she is… and how they have shaped and impacted her own individual/personal development - physically, emotionally and psychologically. She opines about how people - like her, but really anyone - just want to be seen… period… and she addresses multiple ways in which fear keeps us separate - divided - leaving the ‘space for discussion inhospitable’ (p50). Later (p135) she also discusses the role that labels play, describing them as “… the armour that keeps us safe… that also keep us too heavy to move. There’s an atomic lightness that comes with seeing people and things for what they really are at their root.”
Reading this you cannot help but desperately feel for her - empathise with her. Her writing demands that the reader engage exactly as she wishes you to… through her eyes - the eyes of another - and with compassion. What shines through in her telling is the full weight that she bears, and how tiring it is to suffer from the kind of anxiety - OCD - that she deals with, compounded by the fact of her being a bi-racial - bi-cultural - female. So many many layers of complexity to her identity.
A must-read title. What a debut… definitely an author to watch for.
Ghadery writes with brutal honesty and clarity about the multiple intersectionalities that are who she is… and how they have shaped and impacted her own individual/personal development - physically, emotionally and psychologically. She opines about how people - like her, but really anyone - just want to be seen… period… and she addresses multiple ways in which fear keeps us separate - divided - leaving the ‘space for discussion inhospitable’ (p50). Later (p135) she also discusses the role that labels play, describing them as “… the armour that keeps us safe… that also keep us too heavy to move. There’s an atomic lightness that comes with seeing people and things for what they really are at their root.”
Reading this you cannot help but desperately feel for her - empathise with her. Her writing demands that the reader engage exactly as she wishes you to… through her eyes - the eyes of another - and with compassion. What shines through in her telling is the full weight that she bears, and how tiring it is to suffer from the kind of anxiety - OCD - that she deals with, compounded by the fact of her being a bi-racial - bi-cultural - female. So many many layers of complexity to her identity.
A must-read title. What a debut… definitely an author to watch for.
March 26, 2021
I was given this arc by Netgally in exchange for an honest review:
This book is not a typical memoir, in that it doesn't tell you the author's life story in sequential order, but in snippets relating to current events in her life. Hollay explores what it means to grow up biracial and bicultural and the affects it has on mental health. She's so raw and open, sometimes painfully so. The way she talks about her parents is very relatable, I think, to all adult children:
"We all shatter differently, breaking away over time or all at once. The anger, pity, love, concern I feel - the mourning - it's not uncommon. We disassemble our parents into pieces we can accept. We all disassemble each other".
The way she speaks about her children is so beautiful:
"It's strange how you can't see yourself in your children's impossibly clear eyes, but you are all they see. They grew in you, and it didn't happen all at once, but your body's bottomless pitch let out their surging light."
I loved the way the book ended on a hopeful message. Honestly, just an exquisitely written book that I hope gets the recognition it deserves.
This book is not a typical memoir, in that it doesn't tell you the author's life story in sequential order, but in snippets relating to current events in her life. Hollay explores what it means to grow up biracial and bicultural and the affects it has on mental health. She's so raw and open, sometimes painfully so. The way she talks about her parents is very relatable, I think, to all adult children:
"We all shatter differently, breaking away over time or all at once. The anger, pity, love, concern I feel - the mourning - it's not uncommon. We disassemble our parents into pieces we can accept. We all disassemble each other".
The way she speaks about her children is so beautiful:
"It's strange how you can't see yourself in your children's impossibly clear eyes, but you are all they see. They grew in you, and it didn't happen all at once, but your body's bottomless pitch let out their surging light."
I loved the way the book ended on a hopeful message. Honestly, just an exquisitely written book that I hope gets the recognition it deserves.
April 19, 2021
Fuse by Hollay Ghadery absolutely blew me away. Two pages into the foreword and I knew this book was going to be amazing. The elegance and vulnerability of the foreword set the tone for the rest of the book. Fuse is a memoir but it doesn't really read like a traditional memoir. Time is not linear, instead we follow the unravelling of Hollay's thoughts around race, mental illness and motherhood.
Her words are rich in vulnerability and are full of poetic beauty. Hollay Ghadery explores the documented prevalence of mental health issues in bi-racial women. We also see her own experiences with being bi-racial and how it shaped her ever-evolving sense of identity. Hollay's life hasn't been an easy one - she's lived with and through eating and anxiety disorders, self-harm, OCD, misogyny within her family dynamics, and more. Yet there's a sense of triumph to her tales.
Fuse is personal and touching. It provides a much needed focus on the tensions bi-racial women experience around their bodies and their identities. The subject matter is raw and heavy, and at times it's a hard read, but I know that so many women will feel seen upon reading this book.
None of my experiences with body image have been as extreme as Hollay's but I spent years hating my body and trying to change it. The first chapter explores Hollay's thoughts on the casting of Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman and her experience watching the movie with her young daughter, and it was so easy to step inside Hollay's mind. Fuse brims with emotions, it's relatable even when describing moments, feelings and experiences that differ greatly from my own.
Fuse is the kind of book I want to shout about from the rooftops. It was absolutely stunning. It's beautifully written and thought provoking. Yet I know it will be quite triggering to a lot of people. If you're in a good head space though, it's definitely worth a read.
Her words are rich in vulnerability and are full of poetic beauty. Hollay Ghadery explores the documented prevalence of mental health issues in bi-racial women. We also see her own experiences with being bi-racial and how it shaped her ever-evolving sense of identity. Hollay's life hasn't been an easy one - she's lived with and through eating and anxiety disorders, self-harm, OCD, misogyny within her family dynamics, and more. Yet there's a sense of triumph to her tales.
Fuse is personal and touching. It provides a much needed focus on the tensions bi-racial women experience around their bodies and their identities. The subject matter is raw and heavy, and at times it's a hard read, but I know that so many women will feel seen upon reading this book.
None of my experiences with body image have been as extreme as Hollay's but I spent years hating my body and trying to change it. The first chapter explores Hollay's thoughts on the casting of Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman and her experience watching the movie with her young daughter, and it was so easy to step inside Hollay's mind. Fuse brims with emotions, it's relatable even when describing moments, feelings and experiences that differ greatly from my own.
Fuse is the kind of book I want to shout about from the rooftops. It was absolutely stunning. It's beautifully written and thought provoking. Yet I know it will be quite triggering to a lot of people. If you're in a good head space though, it's definitely worth a read.
May 1, 2021
Fuse, by Hollay Ghadery, is a remarkable book. I’ve seen it labeled “memoir,” but I’d describe it as a collection of personal — very personal — essays. Organized around themes, the chapters include poetic fragments and reflections, narratives and insights, considerations and re-considerations. Instead of building to a narrative climax, this rich material forms a mosaic, a representation of a life that’s coherent but still in progress. Ghadery deftly supplements her lived experience with background information to give readers insight into a larger cultural context.
The rest of my review is hosted by Vicki Ziegler over at bookgaga.ca: http://bookgagabooks.ca/2021/04/28/fu...
The rest of my review is hosted by Vicki Ziegler over at bookgaga.ca: http://bookgagabooks.ca/2021/04/28/fu...
May 3, 2021
Moving around nonlinearly, these beautifully written and deeply intimate essays detail linked experiences from the author's childhood and young adulthood in the 80s and 90s to her university days to her current life as a freelance writer, wife, and mother to four children in Ontario.
In fifteen essays, Hollay documents her struggles with family strife and mental illness, including eating disorders, OCD, depression, and self-harm - the times when she "couldn't see a puddle without feeling an ocean" - while uncovering the known links between these conditions and the experience of being a biracial woman. Tender, occasionally harrowing, and often thoughtful, Fuse lays bare a talented writer's difficult and contemplative coming-of-age while still calling out cultural and societal crimes.
In fifteen essays, Hollay documents her struggles with family strife and mental illness, including eating disorders, OCD, depression, and self-harm - the times when she "couldn't see a puddle without feeling an ocean" - while uncovering the known links between these conditions and the experience of being a biracial woman. Tender, occasionally harrowing, and often thoughtful, Fuse lays bare a talented writer's difficult and contemplative coming-of-age while still calling out cultural and societal crimes.
May 21, 2021
Each one of these essays is a deep dive into a mental health issue/life battle for Ghadery, told with searing and nuanced honesty. Some, such as the title essay 'Fuse' felt almost too painful to accompany, but it resonated with my own struggles with abandonment/attachment issues, and shed light on those existing within addiction and eating disorders. This is a very generous offering, both of experience so others know that they are not alone, and of hope via Ghadery's survival and overcoming. The writing is also fantastic, filled with splinters of beauty and joy. Highly reccomend.
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April 5, 2021In her daringly candid memoir, Fuse, Hollay Ghadery faces cultural, biological, and psychological forces that would be enough to crush any Millennial spirit. Part novella, part confessional, part exposition, part poetry, and rich material for a film, Fuse can also be read as a hymn to family. Her vigorous, beautiful prose engages the reader from its graphic beginning to a joyously insight conclusion. Readers will want to stay with this book.
April 26, 2021
I couldn’t put it down, and have been recommending it to my friends, family and my book club as an important and timely read for our generation. Hollay Ghadery weaves heart-break with heart-warming stories and timelines seamlessly. Her auto-biographical narrative is captivating and at the same time accessible. I think that this book is poised to inspire more dialogue and hopefully thoughtful awareness around the connections between body image, racial identity and the patriarchy.
June 18, 2021
I absolutely love this novel. Hollay the author is absolutely brilliant. I couldn’t put the novel down. I laughed , I cried and I could totally relate ! I received it on Wednesday and finished reading it Thursday. It is a book that every home should have in their personal library !! I cannot wait to read more of Hollay’s amazing books. She is an inspiration to us all. What a privilege to be able to read this book !
Hollay is a beautiful, intelligent and brilliant young author !!
Hollay is a beautiful, intelligent and brilliant young author !!
May 25, 2021
Hollay Ghadery's memoir is a treasure. A deeply personal narrative with great focus on multi-racial and diasporic identity. This work is grounded in the larger sociological forces that affect mental health and gendered power relations at an individual and family level. Ghadery's commitment to truth-telling is witnessed throughout this text. A stellar debut!
March 29, 2021
An amazing book from start to finish. The author opened up about her life and talked about all her pain and scar and her triumph to overcome her struggles. Her writing is brilliant and very engaging (I finished this book in one sitting!)
May 2, 2021
A beautifully written, brave book that peels back the layers of mental illness and looks deep within. Hollay’s self-awareness and evident love for her children and parents provide a formidable path forward to the peace she’s been seeking, both as a mother and as a daughter. Excellent read!
March 8, 2021
Edgy, authentic, powerful!
March 8, 2021
A great book. The author makes you uncomfortable in a good and thought provoking way.
April 7, 2021
Fuse has everything I look for in creative non-fiction: a unique perspective, raw emotion, quirky memories, and a narrative voice that I can relate to. I loved this book! My review is available on The Miramachi Reader at the link below:
https://miramichireader.ca/2021/04/fu...
https://miramichireader.ca/2021/04/fu...
April 21, 2021
Thought-provoking, and visceral. Very hard to read in some places, because so triggering. Admire the author's honesty about her struggles.
April 25, 2021
Had an opportunity to read Fuse, it is a great read and hard to put down. Really enjoyed how Hollay was open and honest about her life experiences.
May 13, 2021
Beautifully and honestly written. I was completely captured with Hollay’s story
November 28, 2021
Raw and Real. This is not a read for the faint of the heart. It puts poetry to chaos and deeply felt images to the daily mountain climbs Hollay Ghadery and others must surmount to every day.
Startlingly personal, honest and revelatory. Expect to tear up, laugh and even throw the book across the room not because of the superb writing, but at how myopic we can be. You won’t be able to put this down.
Startlingly personal, honest and revelatory. Expect to tear up, laugh and even throw the book across the room not because of the superb writing, but at how myopic we can be. You won’t be able to put this down.
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