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Dispatches from Ray’s Planet: A Journey through Autism
As a child, Claire's big brother Ray was bright and inquisitive, but as the two became teenagers, Ray struggled to acquire the social skills that came more easily to others. Claire tried to help, pointing out what he should or shouldn't have said or done. Ray insisted that he wasn't the problem--"On my planet..." he would explain, there were no social climbers, no subtle hints or subliminal messages to miss, and the telling of little white lies would be a capital offence. At sixteen, sitting with him in the high school cafeteria, Claire vowed to find Ray's planet. Dispatches from Ray's Planet draws on Ray and Claire's correspondence to tell the story of two siblings from two very different planets. There are thousands of Rays in our world. In this collective memoir, Claire and Ray share their journey with the hope that others can also learn that we all perceive the world in different ways, and that "different" does not necessarily mean "wrong."
240 pages, Paperback
Published March 11, 2021
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8 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
November 30, 2020
The average person does not understand Autism unless faced with the diagnosis of someone close. I knew little about the condition when I opened this book. I’m still no expert after reading it, but I highly recommend this as a fabulous read.
Even though the author obviously researched the topic in depth, this is no textbook on Autism. It is a compelling story of Claire Finlayson and her brother, Ray.
Because Ray struggles with face-to-face interactions, Claire recounts how they learned to decipher one another through years of email correspondence. The tale is heartwarming, and at times heart-wrenching. Claire leads the reader into and out of the trauma and anguish her unconventional sibling experiences during his lifetime.
As Ray attempts to maneuver our politically correct world from his unorthodox perspective, we get a stunning glimpse into the logic of a ‘thinking’ man. This narrative reminds us that all sorts make up humanity, and it urges us to accept and embrace diversity.
Even though the author obviously researched the topic in depth, this is no textbook on Autism. It is a compelling story of Claire Finlayson and her brother, Ray.
Because Ray struggles with face-to-face interactions, Claire recounts how they learned to decipher one another through years of email correspondence. The tale is heartwarming, and at times heart-wrenching. Claire leads the reader into and out of the trauma and anguish her unconventional sibling experiences during his lifetime.
As Ray attempts to maneuver our politically correct world from his unorthodox perspective, we get a stunning glimpse into the logic of a ‘thinking’ man. This narrative reminds us that all sorts make up humanity, and it urges us to accept and embrace diversity.
October 31, 2021
Goongbalong. This is the word Ray invented to describe the games that humans play among themselves. It's the game of tact, social niceties, subtle hints, little white lies, polite chit chat-maneuvers that have eluded him all his life. To him, these amount to a lot of people working very hard not to say what they mean. p11
Actually, it's hard for me to credit Ray's diagnosis along the autism spectrum; he seems more borderline genius and in sharing his story, his sister Claire Finlayson has expanded the stereotypes we have been given, if not consigned them to the dust heap. With loving attention, she allows Ray to reveal the many sides of his personality.
You only see what your own model lets you see. p220
The square peg in the round hole has a completely different point of view of things. p16
Failure IS an option. You have to accept that. p160
This is not regurgitated wisdom. It's the cultivated insight of someone who knows the score and has been able to stand up for himself against frequent obstacles.
What comfort do these phony diagnoses give anyway? p215
I don't have the slightest desire to be normal. I may be a freak but I don't want anyone to change me. p16
My soul would speak with better tools if it knew how. p90
December 18, 2020
This book takes you into a personal relationship to experience the love between a sister and brother with Autism.This is an entertaining & educational book that should be read to experience the different spectrum of behaviour in family, friends and people by chance we might meet. This book is warm & funny carries you through many enjoyable stories. You follow their life as if you are sitting with them around a warm roaring fire. This book is an important discovery as it can lead to many different discussions about personal relationships with people with Autism and how we can understand and include them in our lives. I enjoyed the humour, struggle & outpouring of love & compassion and highly recommend this book.
D.Moss BHK. BA
D.Moss BHK. BA
February 21, 2021
Dispatches from Ray’s Planet is a thought provoking book about a man who perceives the world in a way that is different from the norm. The author does an excellent job narrating and describing her relationship with her possibly autistic brother, including challenges, adventures and moments of joy. This book teaches us the importance of patience and tolerance for people who are “different” in our world.
October 4, 2020
Dispatches from Ray's Planet is a well-written contemplative look into a lifelong relationship between the author and her brother Ray, a remarkable man on the autism spectrum. Finlayson's candour and musings are oftentimes funny, much of the time shockingly honest and raw, and sometimes deeply personal, compassionate, and challenging for both herself and her readers to ponder.
I'm in a different position of having shared a personal 30-year friendship with the subject, Ray and so my review is not completely unbiased. I found a lot of the book confirmed my experience with Ray, having been present in his court case with the infamous Mr. Lawson, having been a part of our own Dead Poets Poetry Night, and having stargazed and night swam with Ray. But there was an aspect of what the author writes about Ray that was just not my experience at all. It made me ponder deeply the differences in how family relates to each other, what they hold back, what they fulfill as the status quo, and the differences in how a person relates to their friends. For instance, Finlayson mentions that she was often surprised to witness emotion in Ray, and Ray spontaneously hugging one particular friend, citing her as unique to be the only person Ray spontaneously hugs, and yet Ray has hugged me plenty of times of his own initiative, and we have shared our deep emotions over email for many years.
The book is interesting too, in that it lays bare the author's struggles to understand the inner workings of how Ray sees his world. I'm also an aunt to someone on the spectrum and the author's experiences have given me insight into contemplating and understanding my niece.
For me, it was a strange and profound experience reading a book about someone I have counted as a close friend for most of my adult life. I've always deeply appreciated Ray, but reading this book really made me realize what a treasure he truly is, and how blessed I am to have him in my life. As Ray's niece said of him, "Some of the best experiences I've had in my life are because of Ray." I can say exactly the same thing!
Highly recommend this book.
I'm in a different position of having shared a personal 30-year friendship with the subject, Ray and so my review is not completely unbiased. I found a lot of the book confirmed my experience with Ray, having been present in his court case with the infamous Mr. Lawson, having been a part of our own Dead Poets Poetry Night, and having stargazed and night swam with Ray. But there was an aspect of what the author writes about Ray that was just not my experience at all. It made me ponder deeply the differences in how family relates to each other, what they hold back, what they fulfill as the status quo, and the differences in how a person relates to their friends. For instance, Finlayson mentions that she was often surprised to witness emotion in Ray, and Ray spontaneously hugging one particular friend, citing her as unique to be the only person Ray spontaneously hugs, and yet Ray has hugged me plenty of times of his own initiative, and we have shared our deep emotions over email for many years.
The book is interesting too, in that it lays bare the author's struggles to understand the inner workings of how Ray sees his world. I'm also an aunt to someone on the spectrum and the author's experiences have given me insight into contemplating and understanding my niece.
For me, it was a strange and profound experience reading a book about someone I have counted as a close friend for most of my adult life. I've always deeply appreciated Ray, but reading this book really made me realize what a treasure he truly is, and how blessed I am to have him in my life. As Ray's niece said of him, "Some of the best experiences I've had in my life are because of Ray." I can say exactly the same thing!
Highly recommend this book.
December 21, 2020
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I found it to be an insightful, informative and entertaining look into the life and family of someone on the autism spectrum. It lovingly records the struggles and triumphs of a lifetime of not quite fitting into what most people think of as normal.
Reading about the bond between Ray and his sister Claire, the author, is its own study in what a loving sibling relationship looks like, through a lifetime of stresses, strains, humorous anecdotes, family squabbles, artistic and physical accomplishments, and transcendent moments. There's classical music, poetry, math, feats of daring-do, and how to deal with inappropriate comments on women's body parts.
Since it had Temple Grandin's endorsement I presumed I'd learn something. I did and enjoyed myself along the way.
Reading about the bond between Ray and his sister Claire, the author, is its own study in what a loving sibling relationship looks like, through a lifetime of stresses, strains, humorous anecdotes, family squabbles, artistic and physical accomplishments, and transcendent moments. There's classical music, poetry, math, feats of daring-do, and how to deal with inappropriate comments on women's body parts.
Since it had Temple Grandin's endorsement I presumed I'd learn something. I did and enjoyed myself along the way.
March 3, 2021
Claire Finlayson has written a book that is interesting, witty, poignant and honest. I got it based on my sister's recommendation and thought it would take me several days to read. Instead, I devoured it in a day and a bit. Couldn't put it down! She has her brother's permission (maybe even his blessing?) to relay the stories of their youth, and their lives and connection through the years. I finished the book feeling as though I knew a bit more about the struggles that people with Autism Spectrum Disorder have in dealing with the rest of us -- and the difficulties that the people who love them have in dealing with us and their ASD relations.
July 20, 2021
I couldn't wait to receive and read Dispatches! It was a gift from the author—author to author. We both write to understand autism, and reading Claire's book, I have a much better understanding of what it's like to be a sibling of a brother or sister with autism. Thank you Claire!
Your book is important. To all of those adults who feel they are skirting neurotypical (whatever typical is!) but aren't entirely sure how or why, your book offers insight. And to siblings, like you, who have always wondered, in the end, the word / label doesn't matter. But the insight sure does. It allows us to look at our family members in an entirely new way. For me, it was like this: "It's not that he won't; he can't. He's not wired that way." Through storytelling and reflection, you illuminate this well.
"Goongbalong," your brother Ray's word for the neurotypical rule book, is brilliant. Love it! Hard to pronounce, even more difficult to figure out. Perfect.
Claire, via Dispatches, you show that for those from Ray's planet, puzzling out the rules is exhausting, baffling and life-long. Another planet is perfect. I've often likened parenting my son to foreign travel. Throughout the journey, I learn as much about myself and the unspoken rules. And then I start to question those rules and wonder who has the disability, him for not getting them, or me for mindlessly following them. I feel this in your writing. You write to clarify, and in the process you learn, as do we, your readers. Now I will reread - and make notes!
Thank you for your polished, often witty and always caring brand of illumination, Claire.
Bottom line? Dispatches is most definitely a "Goodread"...in fact, a very good read!
~ A Fellow Traveller
Teresa Hedley: What's Not Allowed? A Family Journey with Autism
Your book is important. To all of those adults who feel they are skirting neurotypical (whatever typical is!) but aren't entirely sure how or why, your book offers insight. And to siblings, like you, who have always wondered, in the end, the word / label doesn't matter. But the insight sure does. It allows us to look at our family members in an entirely new way. For me, it was like this: "It's not that he won't; he can't. He's not wired that way." Through storytelling and reflection, you illuminate this well.
"Goongbalong," your brother Ray's word for the neurotypical rule book, is brilliant. Love it! Hard to pronounce, even more difficult to figure out. Perfect.
Claire, via Dispatches, you show that for those from Ray's planet, puzzling out the rules is exhausting, baffling and life-long. Another planet is perfect. I've often likened parenting my son to foreign travel. Throughout the journey, I learn as much about myself and the unspoken rules. And then I start to question those rules and wonder who has the disability, him for not getting them, or me for mindlessly following them. I feel this in your writing. You write to clarify, and in the process you learn, as do we, your readers. Now I will reread - and make notes!
Thank you for your polished, often witty and always caring brand of illumination, Claire.
Bottom line? Dispatches is most definitely a "Goodread"...in fact, a very good read!
~ A Fellow Traveller
Teresa Hedley: What's Not Allowed? A Family Journey with Autism
November 24, 2020
I read this book for a book club gathering by a local author, Claire Finlayson, I was pleasantly surprised by this book.
I found I was receiving a pleasant education about being on the spectrum and the nature of what it feels like from the experiences of Ray.
I did laugh and shed a few tears and also began to wonder how clueless I've been towards social awkwardness and how it makes or breaks connections with others.
Claire's book was fascinating in a way that lets us "experience" being on Ray's Planet.
I highly recommend this book to all parents and educators especially, but also to all humans for just being human!
I found I was receiving a pleasant education about being on the spectrum and the nature of what it feels like from the experiences of Ray.
I did laugh and shed a few tears and also began to wonder how clueless I've been towards social awkwardness and how it makes or breaks connections with others.
Claire's book was fascinating in a way that lets us "experience" being on Ray's Planet.
I highly recommend this book to all parents and educators especially, but also to all humans for just being human!
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews