Do I Have to Wear Black?: Rituals, Customs & Funerary Etiquette for Modern Pagans

by Mortellus

Explore the myriad of customs that have emerged around death and dying in the magical and Pagan communities. Filled with rituals, meditations, legal considerations, and deep insights into death as a spiritual process, this book can be used by magical practitioners or shared with non-Pagan professionals who support Pagans in their final transitions.

Within these pages, you will discover more than fifty rituals for funerals, memorials, and remembrances as well as meditations for mourning and letting go. Each chapter shares the beliefs and specific rituals of a distinct tradition, including British Traditional Wicca, Discordianism, Eclectic Wicca, Heathenry, Hellenic Reconstructionism, Kemetism, Neo-Druidry, and Thelema. With contributions from ten practitioners, Do I Have to Wear Black? delivers a multitude of magical rites and detailed explanations in one convenient practical manual.

Genres: Witchcraft, Nonfiction, Spirituality, Occult, Paganism, Death, Magick

316 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 8, 2021

Reviews

[Nicole Evelina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can a book about death and dying be uplifting? This one certainly is! This book is a much-need guide to the mythology and ritual around death in the pagan religions. It covers everything a pagan and his/her family, the funeral director, clergy and guests could need or want to know when planning, conducting or attending a pagan funeral. I have studied pagan religions for years and still learned a lot. The mythology section was very comforting and actually helped ease my own fear of death. In addition to providing thorough information on the traditions of a variety of pagan sects (this book covers faiths well beyond garden variety Wicca), it also provides guidance on wills and final wish planning (which I'm planning to use myself this year around Samhain), dealing with the death of children and pets, and personal stories that humanize the concepts in the book. The book also does an amazing job of talking about your options for interment/other disposal of your body, which is very eye-opening.

I'm of dual faiths, soI plan to have my parents read parts of it to help them understand where I am coming from and why my wishes are what they are.

[Alexia ✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

[I received a free ebook copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest reviews]

This book is AMAZING. I've followed Mortellus work for a bit on social media and I was really excited about reading this book. I started reading at around the same time I discovered Ask a Mortician's channel on Youtube so it was a great tool in helping me change my mindset regarding death and funerals. This book is a MUST for any Priest or Priestess who serves their community in any way, shape or form because Death is bound to happen and it is our duty to support our communities through these times.

This book includes fantastic chapters dedicated to several paths within the Pagan Community such as Wicca, Druidism, Heathenism, Helennism, Thelema, among others that are SO helpful in helping us deal and serve our communities. The author took care to consult with people from those communities and used official or created rituals from those traditions in other to make sure that the book was as complete and amazing as possible.

I think this book is a must and I will always highly recommend it!

[Elyse Welles · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book I am happy I'll have in my collection, although it was too expensive for very few drawings and how short it is ($21 on kindle!) The chapter on mourning pets was specifically moving, and the loss of a child. There are rituals and Different techniques for Funerals and wakes - regardless of your practice this book has something for everyone. I especially appreciated Mortellus' conversation on suicide. It was exactly what needs to be said more often.

[Kelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t say enough good things about this book. Mortellus has a way of gently drawing you in, letting you feel both comforted and empowered at once (much like, I imagine, any good death worker should). This book allowed me to learn more about death rituals and practices in a safe and informative setting that treated me like an intelligent person with my own unique perspective on life. It provides so many tools for becoming more comfortable with your own death and how to ensure that it is handled in the way that is most important, meaningful, and respectful for you. I came way from that section feeling not only empowered, but also excited to do some things like write my own obituary (tell me a more intimate way to engage in self discovery, self love, and introspection!). Do I Have to Wear Black? also provides a very comprehensive and interesting guide to the death practices of many various Pagan lifestyles and religions. I learned so much about different religions and practices that were not just interesting to read about, but also helped to inform the ways I might want to approach my own death.

I think my favorite section, however, was the part that discussed dealing with the death, loss, and accompanying grief as someone left behind by the dead. What his me especially deeply was the chapter on animal companions, as I happened to reading it on the anniversary of my dear cat familiar’s death. It made me wish I had had this book two years ago when I lost her, and sad that I didn’t provide her with a more meaningful ritual back then. But it also provided me with some rituals and things I can do NOW that will help me grieve, continue my connection with her, and honor her. The same goes for additional chapters on other kinds of deaths, a few of which I have also experienced in the past couple of years. This book was an immense comfort and helped me to find new ways to see, feel, and remember them and their deaths.

Do I Have to Wear Black? is an incredible resource — one that I will be keeping close to me for the rest of my life (and beyond). I think it’s a book that everyone should experience, because it holds so much insight, comfort, and love within.

[Lea · Rating 5 out of 5]

(Disclaimer - I co-authored the chapter on Heathenry. This review doesn't touch on that chapter so as to keep it as unbiased and honest as possible!)

As a licensed funeral director and lifelong Norse heathen, I've long been aware of the need for a book like this. Mortuary school and most firms are focused on Judeo-Christian faithways, and even secular funerals are based on Christian tradition and format. I'm so grateful to Mortellus for finally giving us a meticulously-researched and beautifully written guidebook for helping pagans and their loved ones.

This is a joy to read cover-to-cover (especially the chapter on Discordianism), but structured in an easy-to-reference instruction manual for serving families of different pagan traditions. Each chapter includes a brief introduction into each path's belief systems and views regarding death and the afterlife (if applicable), as well as suggestions for honoring the deceased through each step of the funeral and bereavement process.

It's something I wish I had for reference when helping the handful of pagans I've had in my care - in my experience, the deceased was pagan, but their next of kin wasn't, and they didn't really know what to do when making arrangements. I did my best by asking the families and friends about the specific beliefs and practices of their loved one and doing some research about that particular path. This book will serve me well going forward, and it will help pagan and pagan-adjacent families as well. I'll be donating a copy to my alma mater and to colleagues in the funeral business to ensure they too have access to best serve the families that come to them.

Death is one event that we all experience, regardless of our beliefs. Thank the gods we finally have an invaluable reference book to help us navigate this transition as we honor our beloved dead.

[Amy Blackthorn · Rating 5 out of 5]

SUCH an incredible book. It is immense, and well researched. The author's voice is professional and authoritative on the subject while still speaking with care and compassion both for the deceased and the bereaved. Expect to see customs among the mourners, vocabulary you might encounter either as a death care professional, or as a visitor among the varied populations. I am looking forward to reading it again.

[Edric Unsane · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an excellent and most needed book for those in the occult/pagan communities. Containing everything you need to consider for end of life decisions, as well as an insider’s perspective on what goes on during the process, this book was written intelligently and with care.

I enjoyed the wealth of information contained within the book. From what happens to your body after death, to a plethora of info on death in different occult/pagan communities, to unexpected deaths, and the deaths of pets, this book was extremely helpful in learning how to die well.

I highly encourage anyone to read this book; it’s well worth it and was extremely beneficial to me as a practitioner.

[Jennifer Sacasa-wright · Rating 4 out of 5]

Explore the myriad of customs that have emerged around death and dying in the magical and Pagan communities. Filled with rituals, meditations, legal considerations, and deep insights into death as a spiritual process, this book can be used by magical practitioners or shared with non-Pagan professionals who support Pagans in their final transitions… From the Publisher

Do I Have To Wear Black: Rituals, Customs and Funerary Etiquette For Modern Pagans by Mortellus is a timely read that fills a gap that has existed for some time now. Modern American society, as a whole, shy away from death, making it a very sterile and one size fits all affair. The pagan community intuitively and by virtue of many of the traditional and ancient ways has stepped a little more deeply into how death can be honored as a natural and unavoidable process not to be feared and uniquely out-pictures for each individual in its own way. Separated into five (5) parts and twenty (20) chapters, this book assists in bridging that gap and navigating death in a way that is respectful of all concerned.

Part One: Views of Death and What Comes After provides the foundation for whatever disparity may occur between the beliefs and customs of parties involved.

Part Two: Mortuary 101 gives the reader a look behind the scenes of the business of death in the modern world. The author, Mortellus, uses her knowledge as a Mortician to engage us in the reality of funeral rites and what more could be done in honoring the dead. The reminder to make sure that your wishes are known before you die and the choices that an individual may have regarding their funeral are brought into focus reinforcing the thought that each life is unique as is each death.

Part Three: Customs and Funerary Rites takes the reader through some of the more prevalent types of paganism and the nuances and ways in which the dead are honored. I believe this serves a multitude of intentions in highlighting the specifics of rites and their meanings as well as the thread of commonality that is woven regardless of your practice. Some inclusions are: Kemetism, Hellenism, Druidry, Heathenry and others.

Part Four: No Two Deaths Are The Same really drives home the reminder that the one size fits all approach that is common in modern society is a disservice to the beloved dead. It may serve to quiet the discomfort of the survivors around issues of death and honors nothing more. Some of those more poignant inclusions are those rites for those transitions caused by suicide, death of a child or abortion. These, in particular are deaths that are not easily accepted and uncomfortable for many to come to terms with.

Part Five: Grief and Everything After brings the journey of death to its natural ending and offers ways of healing and mourning. Letting Go Poppet Ritual, Mourning Dream-Pillow, Painting with Cremains and Sending Messages to the Dead are some of the spell work and memorial creations offered.

Would I Recommend:

Do I Have To Wear Black: Rituals, Customs and Funerary Etiquette For Modern Pagans by Mortellus is an intimate journey into death and how we may better serve the lives that have passed on. I appreciate the knowledge that Mortellus is a mortician, and as such, has first-hand experience of the many ways in which death and grief are expressed and the individuals whose lives are touched in the process.

As a much needed resource, this title is filled with sample rites, memorials and suggestions for honoring the dead in a way that is fulfilling for all concerned and in keeping with their specific beliefs and wishes. From the perspective of the pagan community, we need to embrace our wishes and those of our loved ones, step up to let these be known in the more traditional settings and speak from an informed place. Do I Have To Wear Black: Rituals, Customs and Funerary Etiquette For Modern Pagans by Mortellus fills all of the check boxes!

Reviewed by Robin Fennelly of PaganPages.org
https://paganpages.org/emagazine/2021...

[Ashley (Red-Haired Ash Reads) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rating: 3 stars - I liked it

In this book, Mortellus brings together a collection of customs that have emerged about death and dying in the magical and Pagan communities. The customs focused on in this book are British Traditional Wicca, Crypto-Paganism, Discordianism, Druidry, Eclectic Wicca, Heathenry, Hellenism, Kemetism, and Thelema. The book also includes stories and myths that teach lessons about death and the different kinds of afterlives from different faiths.

Part two of this book is where discussion of different burial practices comes into play. This is the section of the book that I really enjoyed, especially considering it included practices that I hadn’t heard of before like Promession. This section also discusses end of life plans, wills, and the importance of planning ahead, which is something I need to do.

I really enjoyed this book. It was very informative about each tradition's culture and rituals. They also included a couple of death rituals that pertain to these practices, which can easily be adapted to your situation. Also included in this book is discussion about animal deaths, unexpected deaths, and the loss of a child. These are very heartbreaking topics but Mortellus did a great job at approaching the topic and discussing what ritual options you can take.

The only issue I had in this book was in Chapter 6 Restorative Arts and Crafts. She discusses creating life casts and death masks to help with grieving. I have made a life cast of my husband so I know how the process works. Do not follow the instructions listed in this book for life casting because it is not safe. The instructions say to place straws in the nose so the person can believe but this is extremely dangerous. If you bump those straws it could cut the inside of the person's nose and cause a nosebleed, most likely causing the person to panic. The proper way to do a face mold is to carefully work around the nose placing straw strips between the nostrils. Leave the nose holes open!! After you take the life cast off the person, you close the holes with plaster or clay. Please look this process up online. There are a lot of videos with the proper way to make a face cast. So again please, do not follow the instructions listed in this book.

Other than the improper instruction for life casting, I enjoyed this book. It presented new information about rituals, practices, and beliefs in the Pagan community. A lot of these were group rituals though so if you are a solitary it might be harder to have someone do these rituals for your death, but a lot can easily be adjusted.

Trigger Warnings:
- Death
- Greif
- Child death
- Suicide and assisted suicide
- Animal death

*ARC provided by Netgalley for an honest review.*

You can also find my reviews at Red-Haired Ash Reads.

_________________________________
Popsugar 2021 - a book that has fewer than 1000 reviews on Amazon or Goodreads

[Michelle Louise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book focuses on the death and funerary rituals of several Pagan beliefs. Because of that, I will want to provide some trigger warnings for potential readers right off the bat. Content Warnings include: frank discussion of death and dying, discussion of embalming techniques, discussion of suicide, discussion of assisted suicide, suicidal ideation, discussion of abortion, discussion of miscarriage, discussion of stillbirth, discussion of infant death, discussion of child death, discussion of pet death, discussion of terminal illness, discussion of discrimination and prejudice toward Pagans, and pretty much every single death related trigger you might have.

That being addressed, this book has been sorely needed years and I wish it had been published long ago. As 2020 and 2021 have made clear, western society -- and in particular American society -- is not as prepared to handle death and respectful disposal of the dead as we had previously thought. Additionally, if your faith falls outside of the five major world religions -- Christianity (including all variants), Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, and Hinduism -- that finding resources for how to respectfully pay tribute to the dead is made even more difficult. This book seeks to aid with that by providing resources and examples of several, primarily western, Pagan religions ways to honor the dead.

And I do need to make that last bit clear, this book mostly focuses on Western Pagan religions -- Wicca, Heathenism, Druidism, Hellenism, Eclectic Paganism, Discordianism, etc. So it is important to know that going it. The book is geared toward primarily two groups: the bereaved who know that their deceased loved one was Pagan and want to honor that but don't know where to start or what is appropriate and the Pagan themself -- because many Pagans in the U.S. and Europe are solitary practitioners mostly due to the stigma surrounding their religion.

Much like Caitlin Doughty and her Ask a Mortician series on YouTube, this book seeks to demystify the funerary and postmortem processes and provide information for respectfully dealing with the Pagan dead. I personally appreciated that each section went into what was considered acceptable to do with the body including if organ donation, embalming, or body donation would be allowed. I liked that there were sections that answered "what can I do to help those that are grieving?" including what to say, and more crucially, what not to say... Spoiler Alert: It's generally a good idea to stay away from the Christian platitudes of 'they're in a better place now' or anything like that -- it's a micro aggression.

The book is well laid out, and I was pleased that the author consulted practitioners/leaders of the religions they were writing about.

Frankly, this book needs to be in every library as a resource. Straight up. This is a book that is sorely needed.

Because of that, I give this.

Five Stars

I received an ARC of this book via NetGalley.

[E. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review of Do I Have to Wear Black? by Mortellus

Do I Have to Wear Black? by Mortellus is a profound and comprehensive guide that explores death and funerary practices from the perspective of modern Pagan traditions. With a compassionate and practical approach, Mortellus provides readers with the tools and knowledge to navigate the complexities of death, offering a perspective that is both spiritually enriching and deeply human.

This book serves as a comprehensive resource for those seeking to understand and participate in Pagan funerary practices. It begins with an exploration of the various beliefs surrounding death within different Pagan traditions, including British Traditional Wicca, Eclectic Wicca, Heathenry, Druidry, Thelema, and more. Each chapter offers insights into the specific rituals and customs associated with these traditions, providing readers with a broad understanding of the diversity within Pagan practices. Beyond the theoretical aspects, Mortellus offers over fifty practical rituals for funerals, memorials, and remembrances, as well as meditations for mourning and letting go. These rituals are designed to be adaptable, allowing individuals to tailor them to their personal beliefs and circumstances.

One of the standout features of this book is its emphasis on practical advice for end-of-life planning. Mortellus provides guidance on creating shrouds, coffins, and death masks, offering step-by-step instructions that empower readers to take an active role in the preparation process. Additionally, the book includes tips for advanced planning, such as drafting wills and establishing powers of attorney, ensuring that individuals can make informed decisions about their final arrangements. This practical approach is particularly valuable for those who wish to ensure that their final wishes are respected and that their funerary practices align with their spiritual beliefs.

Throughout the book, Mortellus maintains a compassionate and inclusive tone, acknowledging the diverse experiences and beliefs within the Pagan community. The author emphasizes the importance of honoring individual preferences and traditions, encouraging readers to approach death and mourning with respect and understanding. This inclusive perspective ensures that the book resonates with a wide audience, offering valuable insights for Pagans and non-Pagans alike.

Do I Have to Wear Black? is an invaluable resource for anyone seeking to understand and engage with Pagan funerary practices. Its blend of theoretical insights, practical guidance, and compassionate perspective makes it a must-read for those interested in exploring death and mourning from a Pagan viewpoint. Whether you are planning your own end-of-life arrangements, supporting a loved one, or simply seeking to deepen your understanding of Pagan traditions, this book offers the tools and knowledge to navigate the journey with grace and dignity.

[Solaris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a phenomenal resource, start to finish, and written with the sort of compassion I hope we can one day see death treated with everywhere.

For Funeral Industry workers, this book can seriously help diversify your understanding of the needs of a rapidly changing demographic. Not everyone is Christian and more and more people are comfortable being open with their non-Abrahamic faith. This is a wonderful resource to understand how to better serve those communities, and tend to their final wishes in a way they would truly want.

For Deathworkers, this book has an absolutely massive collection of funerary rituals to aid in times of death and grief, which you can use to better serve your communities, educate them about their death options, and diversify your own toolkit. The best part? Mortellus contacted people who practice in each tradition represented and let them lend their own informed voice. This isn’t someone from the outside gazing in trying to wing it and missing the nuance and importance. Mortellus let them speak for themselves and elevated their voices to the forefront where it matters most.

For Pagans who are faced with death, this is a wonderful book to help learn how to advocate for the wants of their loved ones, what to expect, and how to manage their own grief. There are so many resources inside for support groups, and for that alone I would highly recommend this book.

When it comes down to it, I can’t recommend this book highly enough. While I read this book originally in the Kindle format, as that was most accessible to me at the moment, it is one I intend on getting a copy of for my shelf, to reference while working on funerary rites to serve my own community, as well as to find resources for people who need them the most— and possibly a few extra copies, to give to people in the Death Industry to help broaden their horizons in handling funerary work.

[Solaris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a phenomenal resource, start to finish, and written with the sort of compassion I hope we can one day see death treated with everywhere.

For Funeral Industry workers, this book can seriously help diversify your understanding of the needs of a rapidly changing demographic. Not everyone is Christian and more and more people are comfortable being open with their religions. This is a wonderful resource to understand how to better serve those communities.

For Deathworkers, this book has an absolutely massive collection of funerary rituals to aid in times of death and grief, which you can use to better serve your communities, educate them about their death options, and diversify your own toolkit. The best part? Mortellus contacted people who practice in each tradition represented and let them lend their own informed voice. This isn’t someone from the outside gazing in trying to wing it and missing the nuance and importance. Mortellus let them speak for themselves.

For Pagans who are faced with death, this is a wonderful book to help learn how to advocate for the wants of their loved ones, what to expect, and how to manage their own grief. There are so many resources for support groups, for that alone I would highly recommend it.

I can’t recommend this book highly enough. It is definitely going to have a permanent place on my shelf— maybe even with an extra copy or two for me to give to those who really need it.

[Krisanne Lane · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book as well researched with a lot of information regarding pagan funerary rites as well as grief and death and dying. It included practical information about navigating the funeral business as well as information about what you can ask for - things you may not be aware of. It was pointed out to me that the practices drawn upon were mostly European pagan practices with the exception of the Egyptian practices.

Some of the chapters were repetitive, saying the same thing in the introduction as in the body of the chapter. Some funeral sections, I thought, didn't make a lot of sense to include, because practitioners of specific practices would have their own rites, and wouldn't be looking to this book for a ritual outline. I guess it's helpful to non-practitioners of those paths to know what to expect, but I just didn't think all the detail was necessary.

However, overall I think this was a great overview of various practices, and gives the reader guidance on planning their own funeral. As someone who just experienced a great loss, it is imperative that you not only make your plans, but discuss it frequently with your loved ones so they know what to do when you pass. This was a wonderful guide to that process.

[A.D. Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this well-researched and elegantly written guide, funeral director and Gardnerian High Priestex, Mortellus helps those who fall under the Pagan umbrella (ranging from from Wiccans to Kemetics, and even Discordians) navigate the funeral industry.

Do I Have to Wear Black provides mourning rituals and guidance fused with practical advice on modern mortuary practices, along with information on the various disposition options for human remains. Guest writings from a variety of clergy provide further illumination and insight on how to die Pagan.

Although the book is primarily for Pagans, it can also provide insight to those unfamiliar with Pagan rituals and beliefs to better assist grieving family members, friends, or clients. Although I am not personally pagan, I feel it is important to meet people where they are at during times of loss and mourning. Do I Have to Wear Black can help us do exactly that.

-Alyse Gray, author of Compendium Pandemica: A Guide to Horrible Infectious Diseases

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Do I Have to Wear Black? Rituals, Customs & Funerary Etiquette for Modern Pagans by Mortellus is a great resource for anyone like myself who is always eager to learn as much as possible in an effort to help those left behind when a loved one passes. Although I look at death and dying differently than many in my circle, I cant help but want to assist them in getting through their grief in healthy ways.

As a nurse, I feel that my profession has a responsibility to make the death and dying process less frightening especially for those experiencing a family member transition from this life. Although there are certain rituals listed that I can not see myself comfortable with, there are many that I found useful enough for my "toolbox" .and like any other book, I'll take what resonates with me, my faith and my practice and leave the rest behind.

Many thanks to Netgalley and Llewellyn Publications for this ARC. All opinions stated are authentically my own.

[Bre Hines · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't even begin to explain how excited I was to read this book from the moment I heard about it. I struggle even more trying to explain how this book not only met, but surpassed all of the expectations my brain had hyped up for it. As someone who's always been interested in death work, as well as being a practicing witch, this book is an absolute must have in my opinion. It's an amazingly well put together resource for everyone from those working in the funeral industry all the way to us future corpses. The fact is, every one of us will pass away eventually. This book not only has everything you need to begin the journey to finding what it means to you personally to die outside of the typical Judeo-Christian belief system, but also how to grieve as a pagan, whether you belong to a solo practice or a coven. The care and detail that Mortellus put into this book is beautifully evident on every page, and I can not recommend it enough!

[Carolina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Li este livro a propósito do Book Club do Refúgio da Bruxaria, e trabalhei durante vários meses a convencer toda a gente para que fosse nomeado.

Algo que me tem perturbado ultimamente é o que fazer, enquanto pessoa pagã, num funeral normativo. Este livro, infelizmente, não responde a essa questão, mas tem uma análise importante sobre o que é a morte no contexto pagão e alguns dados sobre o funcionamento de funerárias (nos EUA).

O seu foco principal é a descrição de ritos e sugestões de textos e músicas para utilizar em cada tipo de funeral pagão. No entanto pareceu-me mais um conjunto de instruções sobre "como nos comportar num enterro diferente do habitual" do que um poço de ideias para planearmos o nosso próprio fim.

Temos ritos para todos os contextos, desde a morte de um animal até à de crianças pequenas.

É um livro cheio de compaixão, mas que me desapontou um pouco. Talvez estivesse com uma expectativa demasiado alta.

[Juli Rahel]

'Do I Have to Wear Black?' is a fascinating insight into an aspect of magic and the witchcraft community that I am so unfamiliar with. I was solidly raised within Christianity and although there was a lot of attention towards other cultures and religions, when it came to Death we mostly stuck to the known. I was so interested to read what Mortellus had written about her own experiences and all the different approaches one can take towards death and what comes after.
While I'm not scared of dying, I found it very soothing still to read this book. To have someone so gently and carefully walk you through its different aspects and how you can infuse all of it with magic was very rewarding. Death is just the end of one way of being and through her stories, Mortellus is able to show the reader just how much exists after death.

[Kristina · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful book, attached to an equally wonderful human.
I loved that she talked about her own encounter with death in the beginning, and it made me feel incredibly connected to her story, leading me to feel even more connected with the book.
I think its time that the funeral industry paves way for change, and Mortellus is definitely paving it.
Its beautiful to read about all the rituals and burial rites for each different branch of Paganism. How diverse and different a burial ritual would be for a druid vs a heathen, or a Thelemite.
I can also appreciate her touching on companion animals, losing a child, and some other topics.
I can appreciate also that chatting with the author and being able to talk about grief and all the types of grief we can experience that the world does not necessarily allow us to discuss.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

What This Book Is:

This book covers rituals, customs, and funerary etiquette for modern Pagans. The author starts with a general discussion of death, including views on the afterlife, modern funerals, advance planning, etc. They then cover specific customs and funerary rites of groups such as British Traditional Wicca, Druidry, Crypto-Paganism, etc. Finally, they touch on dealing with different types of death and grief, including the death of animals, long deaths, traumatic deaths, etc.

Personal Opinion:

As a non-Pagan, I found this book very accessible. There are specific step-by-step instructions for different activities, but the author writes very smoothly in general about various death-related topics - making it worth reading for anyone.

[Rebecca Emberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book Do I Have to Wear Black by Mortellus is probably one of the best books on Pagan Funeral Rites and Traditions out there. It explained more about death to me than most sources I have researched. It has a personal touch that made me feel like I was having a cup of tea with the author and speaking to them about the topic as if I was talking to an old friend or even a relative. It helped me make my own plans for my own passing. I have never been more comfortable reading on the topic of death than reading this book. I highly recommend it to anyone not just those who follow the pagan or wiccan path. Thank you for writing this beautiful book Mortellus 🖤

[Jenn Marshall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trigger Warning: This book is discussing death and all of the hard topics that come with losing loved ones.

There are chapters around funerals, meditations for mourning, beliefs and rituals for different paths. A ton of information is included and it is very straightforward. These are difficult topics and I appreciated the tone of the book Everything was kept factual but not cruel. It also goes through funeral rites by culture. It was so detailed I really enjoyed reading the sections that weren't my path. I am looking forward to getting my own copy and reading it again.

[Niko · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was excellent for looking briefly into the funeral industry and gaining some insight into other religions' different rituals and customs. It had a heavy section on the practices of Pagans, but that was to be expected, I just quickly glossed over this part, but I will keep this book on hand in case I'm in a situation where I'll be servicing a pagan family. It also had an excellent section about the grief of losing a loved one and even went over the loss of a pet! I would recommend this book to anybody going into the funeral business or somebody who is just curious about customs.

[Jay · Rating 5 out of 5]

We all have to go sometime. It’s a fact of life, and can’t be avoided. It’s certainly one of the most distressing aspects of life. In writing “Do I Have To Wear Black?” Mortellus hasn’t just crafted a guidebook to the inner workings of death and dying.
Mortellus has created a tome that should alleviate any fears we might have of the inevitable in a way that is thoughtful, informative, and heartfelt. As explained by a person who knows the inner workings of the process.

[Paloma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Took my time reading his book, and enjoyed it thoroughly. It is a topic that not many people like to talk about but in my family we have always been candid about death and what happens next to all of us, including parents , sibling and out pets. This is a book that should be on all of our shelves for future reference. Thanks to NetGalley, the author and publishers for my copy.

[Annarella · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found it interesting even if it's very far from my own culture. I grew up in Italy where there's a lot of rituals and traditions about death and mourning so I found the content of this book a bit too far.
It's interesting but not my cup of tea.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine

[Megan Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal. This book should be found at every Chaplain's office, funeral home, deathcare company, and with each modern pagan. Mortellus covers death and dying rights of several branches of pagan traditions, offering scripts and rituals for the death process in each branch. Highly recommend to those who are modern pagans, or those who love someone who identifies as a modern pagan.

[River · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely fantastic resource manual for everyone to have on hand. This book is invaluable to those working in the death care fields, especially.

Personally, this book has helped me to provide end of life support to the dead, dying, and the living. Being able to offer ceremonies to individuals with spiritual needs that are underserved by the funeral industry has been incredibly rewarding.

[Annalisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book explains in clear and concise language the duties of a witch for funerals and rituals dealing with death. It was very helpful to me. I thought it to be a great reference in my journey. I would definitely recommend it.