The book was overwhelmingly male-centric. Most of the examples (other than ballet dancer Twyla Tharp and doctor Anne Thorndike), were about male stockbrokers, scientists, businessmen, sports figures (Michael Phelps, Magic Johnson) and comedians (Steve Martin, Chris Rock). Where are the successful women? Also, it was more about using habits to be "successful" in a traditional sense, by making your way to the top of the corporate ladder or excelling in whatever you do, being fit or elite or whatever, instead of improving relationships, decision making, work/life balance, or overall, just being a good person.
Funny, I was highlighting a bunch of material (a signal that I was full of hope!) in the first chapter, then it abruptly stopped, and I never highlighted another item in the whole book. The last thing I noted was on page 33, where some guy/entrepreneur says, "I asked my wife to schedule my first-ever manicure. My thought was that if I started paying to maintain my nails, I wouldn't chew them. And it worked, but not for the monetary reason. What happened was the manicure made my fingers look really nice for the first time.... Suddenly, I was so proud of my fingernails." Here, I wrote, "WTF?" Sorry, but a statement like this reeks of privilege and frankly, makes me want to puke. I am concerned about his wife, and I can't believe it got past the editors. Was this written in 2018 or 1988? In retrospect, this was the moment I should have abandoned the book and opted for something more relevant to my life.
Another problem I have with this book.... he talks much, in the beginning of the book, about identity change. "The goal isn't to read the book, it's to become a reader." Or "The goal is not to run a marathon, it's to become a runner..." Then in the last chapter, in his "downsides to habit change" he discusses how identity can hold you back. The key is to "keep your identity small," (some investor guy says) because your identity will change as your role changes (or with age). So, "I'm an athlete" becomes "I'm a person who is mentally tough and loves a challenge." "I'm a soldier" becomes "I'm the type of person who is disciplined, reliable and great on a team." "I'm the CEO" translates to "I'm the type of person who builds and creates things." So, the message is to have a flexible identity. I actually think this is key information that provides a healthy balance in life, and belongs right up there in chapter 1 with all the other information about identity. Rather, it's an afterthought at the very end of the book. And it's contradictory. Also, where is the "I'm a good listener. I'm there for my kids. I make time to help others. I'm a good friend." Are all habits so.... macho and self-centered? Maybe I missed the point, or maybe it was just the wrong book for me.
That said, I did pull some good information from chapter 13, the two-minute rule/habit shaping. When I opened it to this chapter in the book store where I bought it, I was intrigued. I thought this type of information could help me with my 2021 goals (which have been blown to bits). But I found it the most helpful chapter in the book, overall. I can use the "art of showing up" and the concept of not being consumed by the end goal in my life.
I learned: If you're a woman and you're looking for a book on habit change, pick up a book written by a woman; preferably one who has done her research and with whom you have something in common.