No Longer Strangers: Finding Belonging in a World of Alienation

by Gregory Coles

ECPA Top Shelf Book Cover Award Belonging has never come easy to me. Growing up, there was my mutated national identity to deal with―my not-quite-American, not-quite-Indonesian soul, restless in both countries. Later, when I came out as a celibate gay Christian, I found I didn't fit into the church as easily as I used to. I've often wondered what it means to belong to others even when I can't manage to blend in with them. The way Jesus tells it, if we give up on belonging in order to follow him, we'll find ourselves belonging anyway. We might not belong the way other people do, with normal homes and normal families and normal ways of fitting in. But we'll belong in a way that's a hundred times better. We'll be fully in place because we know we are out of place. We'll belong like aliens. Maybe you're caught in the same tension as me, wanting to fit somewhere even as you're permanently out of place. Maybe you feel like an alien. If so, let's be aliens together.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Faith, Theology, Memoir, Christian Non Fiction, Christian Living

216 pages, Paperback

Published February 23, 2021

About the author

Gregory Coles (PhD, Penn State) is an author, speaker, and scholar. He is the author of The Limits of My World (Walking Carnival, 2023), No Longer Strangers: Finding Belonging in a World of Alienation (InterVarsity Press, 2021), and Single, Gay, Christian: A Personal Journey of Faith and Sexual Identity (InterVarsity Press, 2017). His writing has been published by venues as diverse as Penguin Random House, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, College English, and Cambridge University Press.

Reviews

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a word: delightful.

In more words: I should probably have paced myself to learn the lessons Greg is gently teaching more slowly and deliberately, but instead I devoured the insights and illustrations from his own life in one sitting. No Longer Strangers reminded me that I should love like Christ loves me, and there’s hardly any higher praise than that.

[Shayla Mays · Rating 4 out of 5]

"One of the great dangers of twenty-first-century Western evangelical Christianity, I fear, is that too many of us have grown accustomed to resurrection without death. Our faith has room for empty crosses but not for occupied ones. We quote Jer. 29:11 out of context, not by accident but quite on purpose, because we prefer the idea of a religion in which all God's plans are made for US, to prosper US, to shield US from harm, to give US a hope and a future. We decide in advance what constitutes a good life and then hire God on as a divine contractor (at a negotiable hourly rate) to help US achieve OUR goals. We call them God's plans, yes, but they are ours in their inception and direction, and his only in the sense that we have attributed them to him".

It took a bit longer than I would like to admit before really engaging this book. By the second half I was so thankful I kept going. There are some authors who write for a good story; a good sale. Greg writes to share his story; to empower and welcome others. It's raw. It's filled with confessions of pride, insecurities, the longing to belong, and even the fun and glorious moments of his life. Greg blessed me with the opportunity to read this book before the release date... I'm still buying a copy even though I read it for free. Hopefully, that tells you something :)

Thank you, Greg, for writing this for those who feel unseen. Thank you for the reminder that we all can belong.

[Josh E · Rating 4 out of 5]

Greg Coles is a superb writer, which he leverages to great effect in this book. Each chapter is a very self-reflective journey through part of his own life. He paints wonderful pictures of ways he has found belonging in Christ and His church, but I wish he used a bigger scriptural brush. In so doing this book could become more than the delightful adventure through Greg’s own journey, as it is now, and instead do more what I think he wants it to do, edify and build up the church, by not relying so heavily on his own journey, but how that journey conforms to Scripture’s vision for the church. Which is not to say that this book is not encouraging. I was deeply touched by the themes of some of the chapters and see myself rereading them several more times in the future. I treasure Greg and his story and am so glad he has seen fit to share it with the church. His overarching theme is so good and so important and so integral to the SSA struggle and I just wish he pushed it further and developed it even more for our modern western church that needs to hear it.

[Thomas Zuniga · Rating 4 out of 5]

Greg just has a way with words. Charming and thought-provoking alike. Coming off "Single, Gay, Christian," he extends the canvas on his story, growing up as an MK in Indonesia, and his journey of belonging around the US across all arenas: geographically, culturally, and spiritually. I resonate deeply with his search for belonging; sometimes it's enough just to read that someone else is on a similar journey. I found myself laughing at many of Greg's anecdotes and also tearing up as I considered my own quest, often desperate, to belong. I felt most challenged by this concept of bringing belonging to others, as I often feel inadequate to do so with so many holes of belonging in my own life. But perhaps we're all a little restless for belonging like that. Thanks to this book, I hope to bring more belonging to my neighbor – literal or metaphoric. I'm greatly encouraged by Greg's voice and already can't wait for what he writes next.

[Rachel Fawcett · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book of hope for all—Greg offers glimpses of his sometimes banal, sometimes extraordinary life to beautifully highlight the ways in which we can truly belong.

Taking a step back, it is challenging to find the words to offer an insightful review of a writer who is strategic and exacting in his lexicon. Overall, Greg’s joyful, genuine tone makes the book hard to put down; you may quickly feel like you’ve been friends with Greg for years. So this book is best enjoyed with your favorite beverage and a cozy blanket as Greg takes you on a journey through childhood memories to tragic situations to moments that will never be. You will laugh and cry and feel the love that Jesus freely offers to all of us.

I highly recommend this book to all the folks who have ever asked... Where do I belong? How do I fit in? Who do I belong with? And honestly, who hasn’t asked these questions in their life (at some point or always)? Greg won’t tell you to think a specific way (or falsely promise that it’s easy), but he will offer a compelling picture of how he has found belonging and invite you in to be loved by and belong to Jesus.

[Claire Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ahh! It was so good. How do I even begin to explain how good I thought it was? Well. Every chapter was as delectable as the best dessert I’ve ever had but also as filling as a the most scrumptious five-course dinner. This book was basically that Willy Wonka gum that gives you a full meal in one treat—but fully formed Wonka gum, so no worries of it turning you into a giant blueberry anytime soon.
Some of my fav quotes:
“As it turns out, sometimes we belong in a place both too little and too much. Too little to stay. Too much to leave without losing a piece of ourselves in transit.” -47
“I choose to celebrate the beauty of what I’ve been given instead of searching for reasons to feel out of place.” -130
“If celibacy can possibly be good, it can only be good because those of us who pursue it have fallen into a torrid love affair with our Creator.” -162
“It’s harder to be angry with God when you stop believing God owes you something.” -186
“Grace is a funny thing. It should have all the predictability of a romantic comedy, and yet I always find myself watching it as if it’s a thriller, on the edge of my seat, not quite sure how everything will turn out.” -196
Thanks for speaking it like it is, Greg, and sharing with us some of your beautiful view of the world. It was pretty damn great.

[Chad D · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is extremely pleasant. It's chatty and warm and personal and funny. It kind of does the thing that if the title seems good to you you probably needed--makes you feel as though you have a friend.

Each chapter starts with a vignette from Greg's personal life. He has had a lot of personal life. And then it works its way toward wisdom, often supported with the Bible or some spiritual authority figure in his life. In this way it follows Frederick Buechner's advice to listen to your life for traces of God. Greg pays attention to his life and uses wise authorities to help him understand where God is speaking in his life, then passes that wisdom on to the reader. That's really relatable, practical. It's nice. Pop theology that's out on the town, a devotional that's dressed up a bit.

He claims to be an introvert, but the sheer volume of his friendships and belongingness . . . whew, I dunno, man.

[Tim Otto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Below is my conclusion. If you are interested in my complete review, you can find it here (https://englewoodreview.org/gregory-c...).

In spite of my concerns, I thoroughly enjoyed No Longer Strangers. His stories and wisdom deserve to be savored. I disciplined myself to read just one story each Sunday morning as part of my devotional time. His stories depict the life of someone who has completely abandoned himself to God. He reminds me of a friend who got the phrase “Property of Jesus Christ.” tattooed on his back, just below his neck. In an individualistic age where we tend to think we belong to ourselves, Coles shows that belonging to God is the way of joy and blessing. Such examples are sorely needed and thus No Longer Strangers is a treasure.

[Amy Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't say enough good things about this book. The mix of storytelling and reflection was brilliant. Greg drew us along his own journey, and while his struggles to belong were unique to his experience (and told in engaging detail), the truths he learned applied to me, too. I especially appreciated the challenge to be on the lookout for others we can give the gift of belonging to. Full of heart, humor, and hope. It's the perfect read for anyone who has felt out of place.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am looking forward to reading No Longer Strangers again (and probably again!). Greg's second memoir is written with my ideal balance of story and explanation. His examples illustrate his points so well and are full of mirth or seriousness as called for. Greg shares sincerely about his joys and struggles, encouraging us to consider our own belonging in light of God's love. 

[Elliot Wierenga · Rating 5 out of 5]

If there were nothing of meaning to be gleaned from a reading of this book I still imagine I’d recommend it solely on the basis of what phenomenal prose it is. That said, there is much to be gleaned.
Coles courageously invites readers into his stories of connection and disconnection, of celebration and heartache, and leads us to explore how Jesus invites us to belong amidst all of it. His words challenge and encourage, speaking good news of radical upside down belonging into the deep aching of souls prone to alienation from God and from one another. His unique perspective and experiences as a celibate gay Christian raised between two continents and cultures are vital gifts to the body of Christ. We would do well to listen.

[Chad Oberholtzer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was absolutely delighted, powerfully challenged, and thoughtfully compelled to think and love differently by Greg Coles' first book, "Single, Gay, Christian." So, I cracked open "No Longer Strangers" with cautious excitement, excited to read more from one of my favorite authors but cautious that this book wouldn't be as strong as its predecessor. Thankfully, I was not disappointed.

To be clear, this book is not what I expected it to be. I read the title and decided that this would be some attempt at updating Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence." And I also decided that it would probably be some sort of sequel to "Single, Gay, Christian." It is neither of those things. This is no seven-step process to friend-making. Neither is it Greg's spiritual sexuality memoir sequel.

So, then, what is "No Longer Strangers"? Well, it's 100% Greg Coles, in all of the best ways. His writing style, word choice, and vocabulary are unique and exquisite. Each chapter is filled with stories and personal anecdotes, told in Greg's whimsical and self-deprecating style. Each chapter is filled with spiritual reflections, told in Greg's gracious and invitational style. While the book is decidedly not a how-to manual, there is surely some advice sprinkled into the narrative. And while the book is not primarily focused on Greg's journey as a gay, celibate Christian, his experiences of rejection from Christians who dismiss his identification as a gay Christian and from the LGBTQ community who dismiss his commitment to biblical fidelity are certainly part of his search to find belonging in this rather unforgiving and uninviting world.

Ultimately, I would describe "No Longer Strangers" as a fascinating, meandering, and utterly delightful conversation about human relationships and our relationship with God with a thoughtful and charming friend (and I suspect you'll feel like Greg is your friend, whether or not you have the good fortune to know him personally or not). It is an easy read, not because it is trite but because it is so conversational. It is an important read, not because it is didactic and self-promoting but because it is so substantive. It is a faith-building read, not because it is preachy and dogmatic but because it is so personal and inviting.

I happily recommend "No Longer Strangers" to anyone who has ever struggled to feel like they have found their place in this world or to anyone who has ever wondered what God intends for us as we connect with others around us. The book doesn't neatly resolve those struggles or exhaustively answer those questions (nor does it strive to do so), but it will provide the reader with comfort, compassion, hope, and even motivation to pursue others in healthy and life-giving ways as the gifts God intends us to be for each other and offers us encouragement to pursue God as the ultimate source of belonging. I am confident this book will be a great blessing of encouragement and thoughtful reflection to many, as it surely was to me.

[Nailah]

It has been a while since I enjoyed a book as much as No Longer Strangers. It is a beautiful blend of personal anecdotes and insightful reflections that draw together a stunningly accurate picture of humanity, warts and all. This book made me angry, it made my heart heavy, it made me burst into laughter, it made me stare off into space for long periods of time, to think and wonder and long for life with Immanuel. And while I went through the emotional journey this book contains, I marveled at the writing style, how everything had its place, fit into the bigger picture and added weight and meaning, so that not a sentence was wasted. It felt personal, like it was written to me, and made me want to sit down to coffee with the author to talk for hours on end.

In short, the book was phenomenal, and one I foresee myself re-reading throughout my earthly life.

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

We are all longing for the simple pleasures of life before coronavirus. While you’re waiting, grab this book and a cup of hot tea, you are in for a treat! Lockdown has raised so many important questions for many of us, questions of belonging, community, isolation, connection, and family. Gregory Coles explores all these themes brilliantly—not just through his own personal experience and story, but also in his unique, theologically deep and prophetic voice.

[Lori Neff · Rating 5 out of 5]

So relatable. I laughed a lot and cried a few times. Beautiful book.

[Jeremy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun, quirky, silly, deep, vulnerable. Would love to be friends with Gregory.

[Josh Olds · Rating 4 out of 5]

Life is story. Memoir that shifts between personal reflection and theological musing is one of the best sort of stories you can get as the author seeks to connect their story to the larger story of humanity and God’s work. No Longer Strangers is one such memoir, with Gregory Coles using his own experiences as an outsider to think carefully and reflectively about finding belonging within the Kingdom of God.

Coles divides his work into three parts: Belonging In, Belonging With, and Belonging To. Just that simply, he’s crafted three distinct but important ways in which humans yearn to belong. In Belonging In, Coles focuses on his childhood as the son of missionaries. He’s a foreigner in the world he lives in, struggling to intersect with the culture. But he’s also a foreigner in his homeland, much more at home with the customs and culture of where he’s lived most of his life.

Belonging With deals with his coming-of-age, the realization that he is gay, and the struggle to feel accepted. Out of conviction, he chooses to be celibate yet even openly acknowledging same-sex attraction isn’t always accepted in the church. So, again, he’s caught in the middle. Belonging To continues that theme, focusing on Coles’ first book, Single, Gay, Christian, and his understanding that God’s kingdom is bigger and more inclusive than any one group.

Above all, No Longer Strangers is about finding belonging while charting one’s own course, how following God with abandon will ultimately lead to a community in which you find belonging (perhaps even amid much difference). It’s about belonging in ways that aren’t typical, aren’t normal, but are much better. We’ll be fully in place because we’re out of place. Coles teaches readers to embrace the tension of wanting to fit in somewhere even as we discover that we were made for a different world, living as aliens and sojourners in this land. It’s thoughtful, reflective, personal, and insightful. You’ll feel more at home after reading it.

[RG · Rating 5 out of 5]

Five stars, utterly without hesitation.

A further bit of context: I finished up No Longer Strangers during my last two weeks of undergrad with the prospect of grad studies before me in the fall, and wow, if that's not a brilliant time to read this book. Greg's insights on spiritual family, on seeking not only to belong but to give others the gift of belonging, on loving an inconvenient number of people (#TCKprobs), on learning to embrace the changes that come with life on earth--all absolutely marvelous. From his evocative vignettes of life in Indonesia (Dengue Days was perhaps the high point of the book for me) to beautiful accounts of laundry, dinners, and Santai Sundays in Pennsylvania, I felt warmly welcomed into Greg's life and the many lessons he's gleaned therefrom. To read this book is to know Greg's hospitality and care, both of which are rooted firmly in his love for Jesus. That very love is what empowers Greg to embrace the gift* of celibacy and to encourage anyone--married, celibate, straight, queer--to ask how God is calling them to serve others through their vocation. I'm now looking forward to reading Single, Gay, Christian, but I just might have to reread this one first--it's just that rich.

*His comparison of the gifts of celibacy and prophecy was another favorite portion of the book--"And yet, Paul calls prophecy a gift, despite its potential unpleasantness. It's not a gift given primarily for the pleasure of the recipients, to fill us up with the warm fuzzies. It is, instead, a vocational gift, a means by which God intends to make us a gift to the people around us. Prophecy isn't given for the sake of the prophet; it's given for the sake of the world" (148).

A selection of favorite quotations (there's not world enough and time to list them all):

"A handful of friends in college learned the secret of my Indonesian identity (though not my sexual identity) fairly early on. I wasn't sure at first how they would react. Sometimes I worried they might single me out, obsess about my difference, accept me as an object of fascination rather than a friend. Other times, I worried they wouldn't care at all about Indonesia, and I'd feel guilty for bringing it up. In either case, I worried that being known would be an impediment to my belonging.

As it turned out, the opposite was true. The people who knew me best were the ones with whom I belonged most deeply, no matter how different we turned out to be. Go figure."

"My dengue days were only a temporary gift, a season meant to prepare the way for the seasons that followed. And sure enough, I lived differently in the days and months and years after my hospitalization. I prayed differently, hoped differently, believed differently. Would it be so unfair if my fifteen years in Indonesia had been the same? A temporary gift, a home with an expiration date, a season meant to prepare the way for the seasons that followed? Beauty, we are told in Ecclesiastes 3, is a seasonal matter, one beauty passing away to plant the seeds for another. Everything has been made beautiful in its time--not a moment longer, not a moment less. Including the seasons we wish had never begun. Including the seasons we wish could last forever. Beauty accomplishes its mission even in the moment it departs. Even when it clasps our hands in its own and says, 'Sampai nanti. Until later'" (63-64).

"Some of my favorite people in the world are people I rarely see or communicate with. If I had unlimited time and unlimited money, I could happily spend every waking hour for the rest of my life texting and emailing and visiting them all. But alas, I'm a finite human with other demands on my time and money. (As are they, in almost every case.) Our reunions never feel long enough or frequent enough. Still, I count myself privileged to know and love an inconvenient number of people. It would take me an eternity to spend all the time I wish I could spend with every one of them. Thank goodness I'll have eternity at my disposal" (90).

"When I first moved to Pennsylvania, I had prayed, 'God, help me find people with whom I can belong here.' That prayer had been thoroughly answered. But I had forgotten, like the perpetual narcissist I am, to pray the other side of the prayer: 'God, help me find people to whom I can give the gift of belonging.' We all want to receive self-sacrificial love from others. We all want to be accepted and welcomed and taken in, even and especially when we're at our very worst. But almost nobody wants to do the accepting and welcoming and taking in. Almost nobody wants to go around finding the most unpleasant, most undeserving people available and declaring, I choose you. You belong with me now" (100).

"In the weeks before I graduated and left for college, I made an effort to thank as many of my Indonesia dwelling friends as I could for the ways their friendship had been meaningful to me. During that process, I realized that the more eager I was to thank someone--the more meaningful our friendship had been--the more painful the thought of departure became. When I thanked people for entangling their lives with mine, for belonging with me and letting me belong with them, I might as well have been saying, 'Thank you for making me hurt'" 129).

"There's something remarkably awful and wonderful about being accused of not really loving Jesus, and then responding simply by continuing to love Jesus anyway. I said farewell to my reputation on a Monday evening in February, and I've been saying farewell ever since. I'm not done caring what people think of me. I have so much pride left to bleed out. But on the other side of this slow death, I hear the whisper of the only voice that matters, welcoming me into the world I was made for, the place I will belong once and for all" (143).

"But the only way we'll ever truly hear the call of God in our lives--the only way we'll be ready to receive the vocations we're created for--is if we become willing to hear any answer from God. God is in search of followers who follow any order, however dangerous or dull the work might be, however simple or complex, however invisible or ignominious. Perhaps we struggle to hear God's call because we've only given him permission to say things he has no interest in saying. Even when it looks like we're the ones throwing a party on God's behalf, he's always the mastermind pulling the strings. Our job as human beings has never been to conjure up a purpose for ourselves. Our job is simply to receive the vocations we are given, to find our place in the story God is already telling" (151).

[Joel Cheatham-Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alien. The irony of this visceral feeling is that no matter how often we are told how common this experience is, it still seems like a haunting, solitary journey. Greg Coles masterfully weaves stories from his life into essays on the experience of alienation. He is intimately familiar with the experience of feeling different from everyone else, but that hasn't stopped him from engaging deeply with those around him, even when it's hard.

Coles shares his experiences as a missionary kid in Indonesia, a grad student in Pennsylvania, and a celibate gay Christian. His thoughts on vulnerability, friendship, church, strangers, theology, rejection, goodbyes, celibacy, faith, and the radical, welcoming family of God are engaging are relatable, even when they stem from unique life experiences. The hardships he has faced would be enough to make some reject God or the Church, but Coles suggests a better way: leaning heavily into the arms of Jesus and giving the community of Christ the benefit of the doubt and loving deeply, even if rejection is a likely outcome. Those of us who feel alien can choose to retreat into ourselves or numb our pain, but a nobler choice is to be vulnerable with God and others, trusting that Jesus has a beautiful journey in store for us.

Coles intersperses his essays with beautiful poetry and "notes from an Alien Anthropologist" - literary devices that engage the reader creatively and welcome us into Coles' mind and heart. No Longer Strangers is a work that nourished my soul and encouraged me to get out of my head and lean into the arms of Jesus and my community of faith, even when it's messy.

[Timothy Holmes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Greg Coles is a really really exceptional writer. His storytelling is captivating. Regardless if you can relate to the context of his anecdotes and stories, you can certain see parts of yourself in the details. No Longer Strangers is ultimately a book for anyone who has felt othered, or out of place. This is a book for those who have been in rooms full of people but still felt alone, or for those who have wondered if they will ever fit in. Greg very skillfully blends vivid storytelling with simply biblical exhortation to tell a different story: You belong, because God has made it so. Our belonging might look different, and feel different than some of expectations, but it doesn’t make it any less transformative and beautiful. Reading Greg really does feel like allowing someone to shepherd you through your doubts and insecurities. So let Greg shepherd you here, and discover your place of belonging.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Greg is an amazing storyteller, and through his life story and Scripture, he really paints a beautiful picture of belonging and what that looks like for followers of Jesus. As a third culture kid, even having a completely different upbringing than he did, I resonated with his stories of growing up between cultures and the longing to find belonging when you don’t feel full ownership in any place. His book was such an encouragement to this global nomad, and I would recommend it and share it with others (i already have recommended it to a few people :) ) i listened to this on audiobook which was really special getting to hear Greg narrate his own stories.

[Wally Fleming · Rating 5 out of 5]

Find a comfortable chair, coffee close at hand, and settle down to savor this delightful read! In this book, part autobiography, part travelogue, and part theological musings, Coles has done a wonderful job of helping us find our places in this “world of alienation.” Each chapter is a welcomed vignette, providing keen observations on the nature of the varied relationships that are so vital to our sense of belonging. I didn’t want the book to end, as I found myself identifying with so many of the author’s insights. Coles’ marvelous sense of wry humor permeates each page, yet there is a gentleness and poignancy as well. My favorite read thus far this year!

[Kevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Greg writes like he is sharing stories with a friend (though his vocabulary is much larger than mine, I had to look up a few words). The first two sections give the reader background into who Greg is, and how people and God have shown up in strange and beautiful ways in his life. And then comes the third and final section, where Truth is dropped and I found myself in tears and praying and chatting with some of my own close friends about wanting to create belonging in more places, with more people.
Truly a wonderful book, written by a delightful human.

[Joshua Haldeman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an absolute pleasure to read. I would call No Longer Strangers a themed memoir, and I’m ready to admit that I just really, really love memoirs. When I say I laughed, I LAUGHED, and when I say I cried, I CRIED. The chapter titled “Friendship Costs Twenty-Five Dollars an Hour” alone is worth the read, but there wasn’t a chapter that didn’t lend a beautiful perspective on belonging. Highly recommend this one!

[Gabriel Blanchard · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about two hundred pages, and I read it in two days flat. Coles is a really engaging, funny, relatable author, and the picture he gives of his life as a celibate gay Christian in his church community is genuinely encouraging. We don't have enough books about positive experiences of celibacy, and I'm glad to see an addition to the list! The only thing I didn't like was that I felt he was a little too mild in his treatment of Christian homophobia, which continues to be a problem in most churches. I'd like to go back and read his first one now.

Fuller review at https://www.patheos.com/blogs/mudbloo... .

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the loveliest, most grace-filled book I’ve ever read, aside from the Bible. This man understands relationships and humanity from a perspective I’ve only dreamt about. Yes, Greg, I found Jesus in the pages of your book, and I will return there to find Him over and over again. What a gift you have; what a gift you are!

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Greg speaks to the disoriented, displaced reality of our interconnected, globalized generation. His stories are palpable and inspire the centrality of belonging as the Church welcomes this next generation into leadership. This book is easy to read, will make you giggle, cringe and question how and where you experience belonging within the family of God. For those who read “Single, Gay, and Christian,” this book meaningfully continues the story of church relationship post coming out. Get excited and inspired! Recommend.

[Trevor Atwood]

A thoughtful and engaging memoir on belonging from a gay celibate Christian.

The church needs to read this book and others like it. For empathy, for understanding, and because we have so much to learn from this uniquely challenging form of cross-bearing.

[Lyndon · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a gay person within in traditional churches, finding community can be difficult even when you agree with church teaching/theology. Greg shares how he has been able to find belonging in a way that invites people in to his story and that of LGBT+ in the church. This is a book of hope and invitation. If you know, care about or are LGBT+, this is a book you'll want to read.

[Abram Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read , definitely a lot I resonated with.