Little Matches: A Memoir of Finding Light in the Dark

by Maryanne O'Hara

In the vein of The Year of Magical Thinking and Beautiful Boy, an emotionally raw and inspiring memoir that illuminates a mother’s grief over the loss of her adult child and considers the hope of soulful connections that transcend the boundary of life and death.

When their only child was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis (CF) at the age of two, Maryanne O’Hara and her husband were told that Caitlin could live a long life or be dead in a matter of months. Thirty-one years later, Caitlin lost her battle with this devastating disease following an excruciating two-year wait on the transplant list and a last-minute race to locate a pair of healthy lungs.

The sudden spiral of events left Maryanne in an existential crisis, searching to find an answer to the eternal Why we are here? During her final years, Caitlin had become a source of wisdom and comfort for her mother—the partner with whom she shared a deep spiritual quest to understand what it meant to have a soul. After Caitlin’s passing, Maryanne began to notice signs—poignant, persistent synchronicities that seemed to lean toward proof of Caitlin’s enduring presence. Weaving together a series of interconnected meditations with illuminating glimpses of life rendered via text messages, e-mails, and journal entries, Little Matches is a profound reflection on life and death, motherhood, the pain of chronic uncertainty, and finding inspiration in the unexpected sparks that light our way through the darkness.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Medical, Grief, Biography, Biography Memoir

368 pages, Hardcover

Published April 20, 2021

About the author

Maryanne O'Hara is a writer with roots in New England and Ireland.

She is the author of the memoir Little Matches: A Memoir of Grief and Light; the novel Cascade, a Massachusetts Book Award finalist; and the story collection Beyond the Border of Love, short-listed for the Flannery O’Connor Award for Short Fiction.

Her personal story of resilience and transformation in the face of loss has been featured in The New York Times, TIME Magazine, The Boston Globe, Psychology Today, People Magazine, and elsewhere.

Reviews

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Little Matches is the bravest and most generous of memoirs. It is the diary of your dearest friend, intimate and universal, an exquisitely written poem of deepest love, grief, and devotion. This is a journey of the soul. I feel haunted by these pages and profoundly blessed to have read them."

[Lily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this memoir strength and grief and hope. O'Hara is an excellent writer who goes through hell and is brave enough to tell us everything she learned.

[دُعاء| Doaa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt every emotion that could ever be felt

[Linden · Rating 3 out of 5]

An intensely difficult to read memoir by a mother who loses her only daughter-- from complications of a lifetime of suffering from cystic fibrosis. Maryanne discusses her pain; she will do anything to help Caitlin. In her grief, she seeks help from mediums and astrologers, and finds signs everywhere. I liked the quote from Caitlin and Leonard Cohen: "We can choose to be kind and to keep trying—we have the power.... there is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for this ARC.

[Lisa Burgos · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful, moving, & inspiring story about the deep love between a mother and daughter.

[Melissa Crytzer Fry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not generally a memoir reader or an audiobook listener. But I met Maryanne through social media years ago (when her fabulous debut novel, Cascade, was published) and I knew I had to experience this book, subtitled a memoir of grief and light, in her voice.

The strength it must have taken to write this story is unimaginable, but I know I am a better person for having experienced these words about a daughter’s young life taken too soon by cystic fibrosis.

To be sure, the author’s grief is laid bare upon these pages. But there is more. Within this memoir is intense joy, hope, and belief. Messages of kindness, faith, perseverance and positivity. The author’s daughter Caitlin was wise beyond her years, and by the end of the book, I felt I’d grown to know and love her, too. The fact that the audiobook includes a recording of Caitlin, herself, was wonderful. What an honor to get a peek into a world of such intense love and hope. My only regret in having listened vs. read is that I was unable to capture Caitiln’s many, many sage words of wisdom.

One of Caitlin’s comments spoke to me so much that I did transcribe it. From Caitlin (an extraordinary writer, herself), about life’s obstacles:

“Courage is the answer. It doesn’t negate the problem. It exists within the problem. And when you realize the answer lies in taking in the problem – and living in spite of it, with full awareness of it – you feel a new option and a new sense of hope and life.”

Wow. So many pearls of wisdom about life from a 30-year-old woman facing so many obstacles, but with a fierce positivity. And what I also enjoyed so thoroughly was the author’s quest to understand life after death – the seemingly coincidental incidents throughout her life, and after Caitlin’s passing, that point to the soul as a continuing presence. Hawks and numbers and songs as signs that the departed are still among us ... As Maryanne says, “You can’t make this stuff up.”

Highly recommend.

[Marika · Rating 5 out of 5]

An achingly beautiful memoir written by the parents of Caitlin O'Hara after learning that Caitlin was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis (CF) at the age of two. Their journey took place over 32 years as they awaited lungs that were suitable for transplanting. Caitlin was on the transplant list for two years before losing her battle to CF. This memoir will resonate with all parents as they read about stepping back and allowing the adult Caitlin to life her life on her terms.

* I read an advance copy and was not compensated.

[Pam Jenoff · Rating 5 out of 5]

O'Hara writes of the tragic loss of her daughter Caitlin at the age of 33 to cystic fibrosis in this haunting and beautiful reflection on loss and life.

[Ebirdy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book. Wow. It breaks your heart. And then it gives you hope and shows you that the heart break doesn't have to be the end.

I am in awe of people who can experience events like the author and yet write about it beautifully and movingly and without self pity. Her honesty about her grief is not something you read often.

Her search to try to make sense of her daughter's death, and her explorations to move through the grief and make sense of it to herself are fascinating.

For anyone, religious or not, who has wondered "Is that it? Are they just gone forever?" when losing a loved one, her path to find meaning is really interesting and relatable.

This book was worth every tear I cried, and I cried a lot of them.

[Erika Robuck · Rating 5 out of 5]

A long-time fan of Maryanne through her fiction and her blog, I read LITTLE MATCHES to enter into her experience of loss for solidarity and as a prayer for her family. I felt a certain connection to Caitlin (who had CF) because of my late mother's restrictive lung disease as a result of severe scoliosis. I know what it is to watch a loved one struggle to do the most basic act of a person's day most of us never even think about: breathing.

A grief memoir, it was obviously a dark journey, and I cried myself to sleep several times during the reading. However, I have come away with a deep appreciation for the strength and courage of this family, the health of my own family, and a new level of mindfulness and understanding around organ donation. Because of Caitlin, I am now an organ donor.

As a Catholic Christian, I was unsettled by some of the spiritual aspects (tarot, astrology, mediums etc.), but my heart was put at ease through Caitlin's connection to Mary, the mother of Jesus, and through connections to Jesus Himself, especially through their shared age of death, 33, and the many communications of that number. Mostly, I was inspired by how Caitlin's loved ones have carried on her legacy of light and love through various creative and service projects, including this beautiful book. My admiration for Maryanne has deepened in the reading of it.

[Roxanne Meek · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The great revelation perhaps never did come. Instead there were little daily miracles, illuminations, matches struck unexpectedly in the dark” ~ Virginia Woolf

Little Matches, you are sorrow and grief, beauty and poetry.

“ When you lose what’s important to you, pretty much everything else falls away, and you’re left with the fact of yourself, still existing in a world that must make sense if you’re to continue living in it” ~ Maryanne O’Hara

[Tina Arvin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like Maryanne O’Hara, I also lost my daughter (only child) to a rare genetic disorder in young adulthood. Our daughters’ deaths were only a couple of years apart and O’Hara’s thoughts often echoed my own as I flipped the pages, however, she expresses her thoughts much more eloquently. This is the story of a grief that doesn’t end but changes as time passes, the search for connection with the person we’ve lost, and the signs that come when you need them most. As I read this book, having just passed another difficult Mother’s Day, the passage below was particularly true and poignant:

And thoughts like that make you feel better in the moment, but then it is May, it is Mother’s Day, and people are kind and attentive, and Caitlin’s friends gather round, and you are so grateful for what you had and still have but there is nothing to be done about the pain that persists.

[Cathy · Rating 2 out of 5]

While this is an incredibly sad story, the author's description and details about her daughter are so beautiful. Caitlin sounds like an amazing human being and someone we all would love to have as a friend.
The problem i have with this book is that most people going through a similar situation do not have the resources, connections, money, and privilege this family has. I would have liked for the author to acknowledge how fortunate they are and how different this same story would be for a family of less means.

[Leslie Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

{For all my reviews, including author interviews, please see: www.leslielindsay.com|Always with a Book. Maryanne O'Hara will be featured in May 2021}

What happens when your only child dies of a tragic genetic disease and you're left to grapple with the meaning of life?

This is the overarching question that plaques novelist Maryanne O'Hara as she makes sense of the senseless loss of her adult daughter, Caitlin, following a near-lifelong battle of cystic fibrosis (CF) in her forthcoming memoir, LITTLE MATCHES (HarperOne, April 20 2021).

Immediately, I was enthralled with the deep well of questions this wise writer posits to the reader:

Where is she?
Is she?
Is there more to life than this life?
Does consciousness survive death?
Does my existence have any purpose?
Does anyone's?

Of course, death is the only certainty in life and while that's ironic (and a bit glib), there is so much life that happens in that interstitial space. This is why I think I love LITTLE MATCHES.

Maryanne and her husband, Nick, lose their only child--Caitlin--when she is 33 years old. For thirty-one of those years, they cared for a daughter who was diagnosed with CF. They were told she would live a long life or die in a matter of months. LITTLE MATCHES is at once a medical memoir about CF, but also it's a mother-daughter memoir about life and love. But there's more here, too, breathing in the spaces of context are so many metaphysical, existential questions and quandaries, symbolism, coincidences, more.

I found LITTLE MATCHES to be wholly inviting, authentic, raw, and told with an intimate candor. O'Hara is a wise and powerful storyteller, a strong mother, and so much more. This is a tough read, with a heartbreakingly expected mid-point yet a profound and meaningful outcome.

Cobbled together in bits and pieces of blog entries, Caitlin's journals, lists, drawings, song titles, more, LITTLE MATCHES is a slightly meandering narrative in which O'Hara consults medical research and mediums so that she may better understand the complexity of her role in her daughter's life, her death, and to make meaning of her purpose. In the end, O'Hara becomes an end-of-life death doula so that she may better help others as they let go of this earth, but also to assist those who are left in their wake.

I was reminded, in part, of the work of Brian Weiss but also Raymond Moody's LIFE AFTER LIFE, Eben Alexander's PROOF OF HEAVEN, and other like-minded books. It's also a medical memoir, so in the vein of Heather Harpham's HAPPINESS.

For all my reviews, including author interviews, please see: www.leslielindsay.com|Always with a Book.

Special thanks to HarperOne and Dewey Decimal Media for this review copy. All thoughts are my own.

[Sara Goldenberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent memoir. Really well written.

[Janice Post-White · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful and evocative story about Maryanne’s daughter, Caitlin, and her 33 years of living with cystic fibrosis. There are no spoilers—we know Caitlin dies- but there is suspense throughout the book as Caitlin bravely and beautifully transitions through relative health and chronic illness. She lives her life with joy and adventure, philosophizing along the way about death, afterlife, reincarnation, and finding and living her soul’s purpose. She and her mother, her closest confidant, try to find meaning and hold onto hope through a double lung transplant, which Caitlin gets 2 days before she dies of a brain bleed. She knew love, had goals and adapted over the years as needed to re-envision her life. Inspiring messages for living life and making most of our time here on earth.

[Susan Conley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Little Matches is such a beautifully written, deeply wise, and inviting story about grieving and hope. O’Hara invites the reader into her world and into her family, and it's such a loving family. We learn about their incredible humor and strength in the face of O'Hara's daughter Caitlin's advancing illness. O’Hara is so generous to the reader in terms of creating riveting and immersive scenes, and so good on dialogue and intimate details, that we feel we are transported into their lives: learning every step of the way about what it is like to lose the person we most love and what it means to go on living, with hope. I am so grateful to have read this book and to know that it's out there now, for me to point other people towards. I can't recommend it enough.

[Diane Secchiaroli · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an interesting memoir written by the mother of a young woman (33) who is in the end stages of lung function and must be put on a transplant list. Because of her small size and an other bacterial infection she is removed from all transplant lists except for one in Pittsburg. They move to Pittsburgh in hopes that she can be a secondary recipient if lungs do not come through for her based on the score that is given to any organ recipients.Caitlin become sicker and sicker with her score rising but still no donor is found. At Times you get Caitlin’s musings and thoughts. Maryanne, the mother is writing a blog about her daughter from which she gets encouragement and can relate to other CF survivors. You learn a lot about organ donations, Cystic Fibrosis, mother/daughter relationships, grief, hope and Mediums which her mother and some of Caitlin’s friends use. It is a sad story. This was an ARC through NetGalley and the author.

[Toni · Rating 3 out of 5]

Part Memoir, Part Spirituality, this book is written by Caitlin's Mom. Caitlin was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis at the age of 2. From a medical perspective as an RRT who worked in a CF Center. all medical information was spot on. For me it was an inspirational insight to the family, primarily the Mom on have a child with this disease.
There also was spiritual streams on consciousness as to what happens when one dies.
It was an uplifting story under a difficult situation.

[Vasudha chandak · Rating 5 out of 5]

There’s grief, and then there’s grief that leaves you gasping for breath. “Little Matches” by Maryanne O’Hara is the latter. It’s a book that doesn’t just tell a story—it sits with you, presses into your chest, and makes itself at home in the quiet spaces of your heart. And yet, somehow, it doesn’t leave you drowning. Instead, it hands you a match in the darkness.

Maryanne’s daughter, Caitlin, was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis (CF) at two years old. If you don’t know much about CF, let’s just say it’s the kind of disease that takes and takes—until, one day, it takes everything. Caitlin fought it for 31 years, waiting for a lung transplant that came too late. The book is Maryanne’s attempt to make sense of the unbearable: a mother outliving her child.

You’d think this would be a book about suffering. And it is. But it’s also about the exquisite beauty in the in-between moments—the laughter, the wisdom, the unexpected signs that Caitlin’s presence didn’t just disappear into the void. This isn’t a memoir that neatly ties up grief with a bow and a pep talk about moving on. It’s raw, unfiltered, and deeply human. If you’ve ever lost someone, you’ll see pieces of your own grief in these pages. And if you haven’t, well, this book will prepare you for the inevitable.

Maryanne and Caitlin weren’t just mother and daughter. They were spiritual co-pilots, constantly asking the big questions: Why are we here? What happens when we die? The book doesn’t give you clean answers—because let’s be honest, no one has them—but it does offer a perspective that makes the questions feel less lonely. After Caitlin’s death, Maryanne begins noticing uncanny synchronicities, little nudges from the universe that suggest Caitlin might still be around. You don’t have to believe in the afterlife to appreciate the deep longing behind those moments. When someone you love is gone, you’ll take any sliver of proof that they’re still with you.

What makes “Little Matches” stand out is its structure. It’s not just a linear retelling of events. It weaves together journal entries, emails, and text messages—Caitlin’s words breathing through the pages, reminding us that she was here, that she mattered, that she loved and was loved fiercely. This approach makes the book feel intimate, like you’re scrolling through a friend’s messages, piecing together a story that was never meant to end this soon.

And let’s talk about the writing. Maryanne O’Hara is a novelist, and it shows. The prose is lyrical without being flowery, honest without being self-indulgent. She doesn’t just describe grief—she lets you sit in it, feel its texture, understand its weight. Some passages hit so hard you have to close the book and take a breath. Others make you pause, reread, and think, “Yes. This. This is exactly what loss feels like.”

But here’s what surprised me: I expected this book to wreck me. And it did. But it also left me with something I didn’t expect—hope. Not in the Hallmark sense, not in a “things happen for a reason” kind of way. It’s a quieter hope, one that acknowledges the darkness but also the light that peeks through the cracks. As Caitlin once quoted Leonard Cohen, “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”

I won’t lie. This book isn’t an easy read. If you’re currently raw from loss, it might be too much. But if you’re willing to sit with someone else’s grief, to witness a mother’s love stretching beyond life itself, “Little Matches” will change you. It’s not just a book about death. It’s a book about love—messy, painful, transcendent love. And in the end, isn’t that what matters most?

https://ideaweb.me/blog/little-matche...

[Judy Blachek · Rating 5 out of 5]

Several years ago I read sports star Frank Deford's book about the death of his 8-year old daughter, Alex, from cystic fibrosis. It affected me deeply and I recall the heartache I felt as a parent for Deford's family losing a child to such an insidious disease.

Flash forward to 2013, around the time I read Cascade, Maryanne O'Hara's first novel, which is excellent. That book was recommended to me by a good friend who is friendly with O'Hara, who lives within 30 miles of where we live. I started to hear about her daughter Caitlin's struggle with CF and followed O'Hara's blog posts and eventually read articles about Caitlin in the Boston Globe. It was heartbreaking to read about then, but this book is a whole other matter entirely.

This book is a love story between the women O'Haras. Maryanne O'Hara makes her daughter come alive in this book by sharing Caitlin's blog posts, email messages, and diary entries. It feels like they co-wrote it. It feels so trivial to say that Caitlin was a bright light and her mother's focus. How could she not be? If you take care of someone you love in such a committed, daily, and intimate way, what else can matter? If you know someone can die, they become more precious to you and it is obvious that Caitlin was this to her mother, and vice versa. Their bond was intense and beautiful.

And of course, then there was the immense grief after Caitlin died. Expect to cry while reading this book. I sure did. The pain of losing someone who is that connected to you is relentless. Maryanne O'Hara shares her feelings of how adrift she felt without Caitlin. Then came the questions. Much of this book is about the questions many of us have. What's in the afterlife? Is something there? Is it nothing? Are there signs? I am very ambivalent about mediums and I have to say this book is making me question my own beliefs about them as the ones O'Hara visited seem to make connections they would not know about.

My one disappointment in the book is that there was no section of photos. I can understand why the O'Hara's would want to keep them for themselves, but I wanted that connection. I found some on Maryanne O'Hara's Facebook page. I simply wanted to see Caitlin's beautiful face with images of her enjoying life. I'm glad she found a deep love with Andrew and really lived life even when it was hard for her to do so. Such a determined and strong woman! What a loss for the world.

[Doreen Blair · Rating 5 out of 5]

LITTLE MATCHES-Maryanne O'Hara



The book is well written and is basically a memoir of Mrs. O'Hara and her daughter Caitlin.

Diagnosed at two years old with cystic fibrosis opened a world that the parents nor the child, Caitlin. ever anticipated. Many years of Caitlin's life were somewhat uneventful other than a cold or flu that held on too long. Cystic fibrosis is a genetic disease that builds mucus around and in organs causing many infections, diabetes, chronic illnesses and other health issues. It is not curable at this time but great advances have been made since Caitlin's diagnosis.

Caitlin, as she grew was questioning and was anger about her limitations. However, she developed a tenacious spirit. The challenges a chronically ill child/family face on a daily basis are monumental. The language and understanding of CF was helpful and there are many questions and avenues to explore in treating this disease. The book is a memoir written by Mom but drawn also from Caitlin's journals. covering the communication struggles, and relationship between Mother and daughter as well as the medical challenges.

I chose this book because I lost a sweet young friend, 26, to cystic fibrous in 2009. Reading the book gave me much more insight into all her family's life time of struggles. My sweet friend was a Christ follower which made the loss hopeful. We know she is with God until the day we all are reunited.

The book was well written, honest, informative and helpful to me personally.

[Taylor Hentges · Rating 5 out of 5]

I usually read grief memoirs, I’m not sure why. I feel as though I’m drawn to them in a way that other books just don’t do for me. I believe in reincarnation, I believe in something greater. I don’t know what truly exists, as Caitlin feels in this story. This story was wonderfully written, and I read towards the end “if something seems like it should mean something, you make it mean something”.

In 2019 I was a few years in on trying to get pregnant. It was unknown as to why I couldn’t, I was 21 and seemingly healthy. One day I was sitting at my dining room table alone when I saw 3 bald eagles sitting in the tree nearest to me. I watched as two of them almost pushed the 3rd one out of the tree and I couldn’t even believe it. I’d never seen a bald eagle, let alone 3, in this tree before. The next day, I found out I was pregnant with my now 5 year old daughter. I read online some time later, “The eagle significance is particularly characteristic of new beginnings, resilience, and stamina for those who have been experiencing difficult passages in life.”

She was my new beginning, and I believe that whenever Caitlin is, she is so happy and free.

This story confirmed was I felt, there is more this life then life. And there’s more after life as well. One of my favorite memoirs to date.

[Donna Boyd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to #NetGalley, the author, and the publisher for providing me with a digital copy of this book prior to publication in exchange for my honest review. Little Matches: A Memoir of Grief and Light by Maryanne O'Hara is a memoir about the death of her adult daughter, Caitlin. It is a gut wrenching, emotional, yet ultimately inspiring book. Caitlin was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis when she was only two years old and she managed to battle this disease until she died when she was thirty-three years old. In the intervening thirty-one years we see Caitlin living with the uncertainty of a disease that could take her life at any moment. As much as possible she continued to go to school, travel and live in the moment while she could, keeping the pain that she was going through hidden from just about everyone she knew. It is a wonderful full of love and devotion. O'Hara was there to comfort Caitlin throughout her life and even after her death, Caitlin continues to be a comforting presence in her mother's life. It is definitely worth reading.

[Margaret · Rating 3 out of 5]

I frequently read grief memoirs because, well, I have lost a son and a husband both young. To me it seemed that the author was continually grasping at straws. Everything was a “ sign”, or she was constantly asking for signs, or visiting a medium or a tarot card reader or a psychic. If a sign she “ received” wasn’t exactly what she expected, she made an excuse as to why it was different and that it was still a sign. Once she was visiting Pacific Grove, California and asked for a sign of a monarch butterfly flying around her in a complete circle. A monarch did fly around her, but not exactly in the circle she expected, but a wider area. I live in California, and have been to Pacific Grove many times. It actually has a monarch sanctuary. If you visit in the late fall/ winter as she did, it would be unusual to NOT have a monarch fly around you. They have a whole museum devoted to monarchs and a monarch parade every year. The best parts of the book were the actual parts about her daughter, but I got very tired of the psychics etc..

[Kathleen Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a tough emotional journey that is ultimately deeply rewarding. Maryanne's life revolved around her daughter Caitlin for over 30 years. Caitlin's CF didn't stop her from living a full and very good life nor Maryanne from worrying about her. They started a blog, a living document devoted not only to Caitlin's medical condition but their lives in general. This memoir incorporates parts of the blog as well as their journals, texts, and the emails they shared with each other and their friends and families. Caitlin's death leaves Maryanne bereft but also wondering about the future- grief has hung over her for years because she knew this moment would come. Her thoughts, her hunt for meaning, and her dive into the spiritual will resonate. Thanks to edelweiss for the ARC. Excellent thought provoking read.

[Fauntel Deshayes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Maryanne O’Hara writes a memoir about her daughter's fight against cystic fibrosis. I was drawn to this book for 2 reasons. 1) I have also lost a daughter and I am currently and forever in the grieving process of that loss. 2) I had 2 classmates at my elementary school who had cystic fibrosis (they were sisters) and their battle with the disease made me acutely aware of how tragic it is. Maryanne's book not only documents her and her daughter's lives, lung transplant, and her daughter's death, but it also depicts the longing, pain, and questioning that goes on forever after losing your child. I thought this might be depressing, but it's not. It's actually a very hopeful book that resonated with me. It's definitely not necessary to have experienced tragedy to find this book meaningful.

[Meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Took me much longer than I thought to prep for this book. Caitlin was almost a soul mate to me, so many similarities and facts racing through our brains. I wanted to be there to help her through and give her any energy and positivity I could send her way. But we could never meet.

I was walking recently and outside of a house, number 33 was a big hawk, I knew that was her, so I continued to follow it, ultimately getting lost and then it disappeared. I've though about that sign for a long time. She didn't want me to follow her? Was she mad? I have some ideas on it, but those are for me.

Maryanne, this is beautiful and I am so lucky to be able to talk with you and share some Caitlin stories. I know I am one of the lucky ones but I continue to keep bringing Caitlin to the places I go.

[Sara Neufeld · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cried my way through this gorgeous mother-daughter love story, wanting so much for Caitlin's journey to have a different outcome, yet taking comfort in the substantial evidence that her soul lives on. I was blessed to have the kind of relationship with my mom that Caitlin had with Maryanne, and since her death, I too have experienced signs and seemingly illogical communication. Reading this book made me feel validated and less alone. On a practical level, I am inspired to register myself as an organ donor and donate to The Leo Project, the remarkable organization in Kenya that Caitin's friend Jess founded in her memory. My gratitude to Maryanne for her bravery and vulnerability in sharing her journey. You've done your daughter proud. I am of the belief that the most beautiful things often grow out of the most painful experiences, and this book is no exception.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A harrowing, tender, grief-filled memoir of the life of the author's daughter Caitlin who began to suffer with CF at a young age. This bright young soul was a little more than thirty, having lived as independent a life as possible, when she was wait-listed for a pair of donor lungs which would fit her small body. We wait with her, hoping every moment that the end we know is coming will change its course. I could not believe it would not as time began to run out and her body began to fail. The second half of the book is about the author's attempt to find if we are immortal souls and to contact her daughter through mystic mediums. One life in this case was everything to her parents. Anyone who has ever lost someone close will find a kind of healing in this exquisitely-written book.