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393 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 24, 2020
“Don’t mistakenly think this means I like you,” he mumbles.
“Do you ever get tired of having to pretend you hate everything?”
“Sometimes,” he says which makes me laugh.
The door flings open. I really shouldn’t have had faith in him. He has the suit jacket on, but he’s tied it around his neck like some kind of cape. He has about fifteen neckties tied around his head, creating some kind of weird headdress/veil thing. Then there’s the green shirt that he’s rolled up into a belly shirt, shorts that he’s pulled up past his navel so it looks like he has some weird version of booty shorts on, and a pair of zebra print neon socks.
“Ah, I’m so sexy,” he purrs. Literally purrs as he struts across the room.
I’m in so much shock that I just stare at him, unable to comprehend what is happening. “You are a demon!” I cry before I start laughing. He turns his ass to me which allows me to see that the booty shorts are right up his ass crack and I see a peek of cheeks.
“This is how you look all the time. But I see now why you dress this way. I feel magnificent,” he says as I try not to fall off the bed.
“I do not! My god, how have you managed to ruin everything?”
“What are you talking about?” he asks as he does some type of tightrope walk thing with his knee-high socked feet. “This is what you looked like the first time I met you. God, I feel beautiful. I see now why you love mirrors so much,” he says as he struts in front of the mirror and just turns this way and that. How he’s keeping a straight face during all of this, I’ll never know.
“Don’t look so freaking happy,” Alexei says.
“My heart.” I grab it in case he’s not aware of where the heart is.
His eyes narrow. “No! Knock it off or I’ll hunt him down and change.”
“It’s exploding!”
“Ew. No.”
I drop my hand to full-on beam at him. “I thought you loved blood.”
“Yeah, but your heart’s probably full of glitter and sparkles or some shit.”
“Here we go!” Claude backs down the driveway and out onto the road before making an immediate left turn into the next driveway that isn’t but a stone’s throw from the one we just left. “And we’re here!”
“No! NO!” Marcus cries, and I’ve never heard such devastation coming out of him. I can’t help but laugh as I see the pure despair on Marcus’s face as Claude beams at us.
“Wait… you’re our neighbor?” Finn asks hesitantly.
Claude’s joy shows on his face as he turns to him. “I’ll be the best neighbor you’ve ever had! The moment I saw the house next door was for sale, I snatched it right up!”
Marcus isn’t listening. He’s too frantic. “We’ll need to build a fence… no… it won’t be enough! We have to move. Finn, start packing,” Marcus says as he throws open the door and tries getting out before realizing he has the seat belt on. All three of us proceed to watch as he has a tantrum trying to get it off.



