I was vaguely optimistic that I might get through 2017 without a rant but lucky me, I won a copy of
The Wife Between Us
through a Goodreads Giveaway.
** Beware of Spoilers and Raging, Wrathful Rant Ahead!!! **
You have been warned.
I actually had to put off writing this review for quite some time until I had cooled down and thought over what I was going to say.
Oooh, this is going to be fun. Where shall I begin? (rubbing my hands together with devilish delight)
Let's start with our heroine (and I use this term in the loosest way possible), Vanessa/Nellie, who officially falls into the all popular category of "women who are duped by a handsome, sophisticated man because, well, he's handsome and sophisticated. Do you need more clarification than that?"
The first half of the story is told in the voice of Vanessa, her present life as a divorcee, living a sad existence with her widowed artist aunt and earning a meager wage as a retail employee.
The second half is told in the voice of Nellie, her previous life just seven years ago, as she was caught in the throes of her whirlwind romance with Richard, a successful businessman.
As befitting the archetype in her role as a tragic female character (cue Victorian faint right here), Vanessa is revealed to be meek and mild (are you really surprised by that?), a preschool teacher with a shameful secret in her past and a mentally unstable mother.
Her dark past includes a silly and stereotypical dalliance with a married professor in college. Of course, she gets pregnant and when she goes to tell him she discovers he's married. That cad! He lied!
You know, this is not the first book I've read in which the main female character slept with her married professor. In this year.
Is this the new popular secret employed as a literary device?
That doesn't bother me so much as the fact that in this day and age, women are unaware or delusional to the point of not taking care of their sexual health in the forms of contraception and condoms.
Unless I'm missing something and all these women went to a school in the Ozarks in which clinics and Planned Parenthood don't exist and they also didn't have sexual education in high school and junior high which explained how sex works?
Well, if Trump has his way, we'll all be living in the boonies soon but that's a discussion for another time.
Okay, Vanessa falls for Richard, this successful dude whose profession is as much a mystery as what exactly Christian Grey did at Grey Enterprises but hey, what he actually did for a living is of no consequence.
What really matters here is that Richard is the epitome of elegance and sophistication, introducing her to expensive food and art and music such as she has never been exposed to. Oh, and he calls her Nellie because he thinks it 'fits' her more and she likes it, tee hee, how sweet, isn't it?
So what if he is mum about his past and his parents are dead and he doesn't really have any close friends except for a fiercely protective older sister named Maureen?
No, that doesn't ring my alarm bells at all.
Danger, Vanessa, danger!!!
Vanessa/Nellie's past and present back and forth recap of events is to draw the reader into her innocent path of how she fell for Richard and her realization that he was not the man she thought him to be (NO WAY!) and her eventual fall from grace, which frankly, I didn't care about because I didn't care about her.
The second part details Vanessa's plan to save Richard's next wife, Emma, from a terrible fate, even though (she reveals to the readers) that she had originally planned to get them together in the first place so she could get a divorce.
Get it?
Wait, it gets better. After escaping from Richard's abusive clutches and engineering Emma into Richard's arms, Vanessa suddenly realizes "Wow, what did I just do? I managed to escape a wife beater by getting an innocent woman to take my place. Damn, I'm so clever but now I have to save her life because I couldn't think of a more plausible plan, like accidentally killing him or something more interesting."
Vanessa is unable to convince Emma of Richard's true nature because Richard has easily convinced everyone, including Emma, that Vanessa is crazy.
Yup, the always popular standby of my-ex-wife-is-crazy-and-obsessive-and-forgets-to-do-stuff-because-her-mother-is-mentally-ill-ploy is being used here, the third (or fourth) time I've read in a novel, so far, this year, that I can remember.
As a result of her lack of credibility, Vanessa devises an ingenious plan to prove to Emma that Richard is dangerous by staging a confrontation with Richard in the hopes that he will strike her and Emma will see for herself what Richard truly is.
Holy shit, this is a great plan. All domestic abusive survivors should try this in case people don't believe they are being abused and can't receive help or support.
Not only do I have to contend with sexual violence as a literary device in movies, television and novels, I now have to deal with the ongoing trend where authors use mental illness as a literary device in which to break down an already weak and pathetic character and why she can't be trusted.
When in doubt, call her 'mentally ill!'
You still with me? We still have a way to go.
To recap, there is nothing original in
The Wife Between Us
filled with lackluster characters, a marriage built on 'secrets' and 'lies' and ‘obfuscation' and the women who bed these adulterous a**holes because they don't love themselves.
But that doesn't make me mad.
I'll tell you what makes me furious about this book.
When Richard's sister, Maureen, justifies his degrading behavior by explaining that their father had abused and mistreated their mother.
Oh, is that all?
Well, why didn't you say so? All is forgiven!
Let no one be held accountable in this world.
All rapists, pedophiles, pervs, adulterers, animal abusers, murderers, listen up: if you had a terrible childhood and saw horrible things, it's okay. You are not held responsible for the atrocious deeds you will later commit because you are not to blame. Your parents are to blame! The horrid events you witness are to blame! Not you! You all had bad childhoods!
You are all absolved! Go forth and continue to rape, murder, mutilate, maim, harm, torture and destroy to your heart's content.
OMFG, are you kidding me?
(At this point, I actually had to put the book down, partly because I didn't know whether to start cursing or start laughing at this simple, pathetic excuse to exonerate a man for his disgusting actions.)
You know, I could ignore the one dimensional, unremarkable and unforgettable Nellie, the boring exposition of her life and the trivial and demeaning stereotypes of domestic abuse survivors. I could even bypass the unoriginal plot and the boring drone of the stiff writing style.
I could even overlook the unbelievable, dumb-ass, HILARIOUS twist of the ending when it is revealed that Emma is the daughter of the professor Vanessa had an affair with and Emma's goal in life was to ruin the woman who ruined her parents' marriage. I noticed she blamed Vanessa for the failure of her parents' marriage and not her father's wandering dick.
Jeez, Freud was right. Everyone has daddy issues, not just in real life.
But I can't overlook the fact that this novel was written by not just one woman, but two! And in their world, men will be men and women will be...well, sad sacks lacking strength, individuality and redeeming qualities.
The back copy of the book says:
When you read this book, you will make assumptions. Assume nothing.
I agree. This book is
nothing.