The set-up/exposition was mostly not very interesting but in hitting the chapter “Don’t call the cops” it gets engaging.
Freddie’s voice sounds not like your average barista and I don’t understand why the word abject is being used three times in 4 paragraphs at one point, perhaps a joke?
I like this idea of the affected public rebelling almost in the background, going along with the idea that housing issues are annoying. But let it be known that I will consider using the unseen public to demonstrate a point in my own upcoming draft.
This is a solid read so far. I think the craft has some issues(imperfect, but most books have this issue...), and Stephens meanders on things every now and then to no outstanding result, but the central plot makes some of the weaker dialogue and stream of consciousness prose more enjoyable than not.
To be a really great novel this needs simplifying. Streamlining, generalised setting, three plot strands max, cutting anything that wanders off into unrelated ideas and opinions unless they relate to the politics of the piece. Using a book like ‘Convenience Store Woman’ as a model. A comment on socio-political issues that gets to the point. In its current form it’s a short book but it isn’t a short read. It’s not as easy to pick up, and some of the sections are slightly confused or are saying the things which don’t help the perfect message out.
There’s a romance-pining plot that could have a definitive, powerful change—one of the two people gets mad depressed about Wellington life and it makes the other one replace love with pity. Such emotional backbones would be a nice touch.
I’ve been spying many attempts at Rob Doyle-esque prose (not sure where it originated from but Doyle is my master reference) and it gets close but doesn’t work so well. It’s thrown in and doesn’t fit right. One imperfect sentence added to the end of a paragraph with no great impact here and there.
Not not worth reading. Would’ve preferred either a simplification or stressing of the “literary” side of things. Not sure if it’ll read well in 100 years. Will be dead then. It is enjoyable.
I did think the landlord was transforming into a rat, or the consciousness was coming into a rat before going in to the book but what I got was mostly what I came for, lol.