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Changed
An Invitation to Join One Man's Journey from Lost and Defiled to Found and Cleansed... "My name is Tom Cantor. I am founder and president of Scantibodies Laboratory - a company which grew from my tiny single-car garage and only $130 investment in 1976 to an 800 team-member company with world-wide operations. I would like to tell you how I was changed!" In this first paragraph of the book, we are introduced to the autobiography of Tom Cantor. This book is the journal of how he was lost and defiled to become found and cleansed. He was a grandson of an orthodox Rabbi from Lithuanian Kantorovich Rabbinical line. His father and mother were Jewish. His father was a prominent Beverly Hills Obstetrician Gynecologist and his mother worked for notable Hollywood celebrities. As successful as they were professionally, his parents were not good at his father was married five times and his mother, three times. By the time he was 15, Tom yearned for a stable home, a place to belong. Expelled from schools, he managed to graduate from a high school in Switzerland. However, while in Europe, he broke through boundaries of morality and plunged into sexual defilement. In order to rescue himself from the guilt and shame of his sexual defilements he chose to form a relationship with a pure and wholesome girl. But he was disillusioned and devastated when, at the time he propsed, he learned that his wife-to-be had been raped and was pregnant. Tom invites you to join him in his personal journey from being lost and defiled to being found and cleansed!
85 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 179 reviews
January 24, 2021
Posted June 19, 2020.
Earlier this week, I received an unsolicited copy of this book in the mail. I have received other unsolicited books before because of my role as a book reviewer, so I thought this might be the case. Now, having seen others' reviews, this seems to have been a mass mailing to an unknown demographic, and I am definitely not the one it was intended for.
Changed is a short, autobiographical read about one man's (self-centered) wish to "cleanse" himself and find peace with his past. That sounds pretty standard, even if uninspired, until you realize that it's also a thinly-veiled conversion tale about a man who becomes a Christian after being Jewish in an attempt to not feel dirty about his wife's rape and subsequent pregnancy by an attacker. While they experienced this situation back in 1970, when responses to sexual assault were definitely different and less supportive, this book was published in 2020 and one would hope that Cantor could have changed in the past 50 years. But no, the book repeatedly refers to his wife as being impure and "defiled." To quote: "My idol was shattered when from her lips I learned that she had been robbed of her purity and was pregnant. Impure, she was no longer better than I. No longer could she rescue me from my own impurity. What was worse about the rape of Cheryl and the pregnancy was that it forced me to have to be reminded of my own sexual defilement. Her pregnancy was a glaring reminder of my own acts of defilement" (pp.74-75). Yes, folks, even fifty years after this occurrence, he still centers the rape of his wife around his own feelings of inadequacy and how it made *him* feel. Equally appalling, a few pages before that, he talks about how he had to forgive her rapist because he, too, was guilty of sexual defilement -- thereby equating a violent act with a sexual one -- and then never speaks of forgiving his wife (not that she needed it) or letting go of his ill will toward her.
The book concludes with him talking about all of the financial success he's had with a biotech company and how he worked so much and how God had his back, etc., and this makes it clear that this is likely a self-financed book he put out because he felt God wanted him to do so.
And from a literary perspective: It was short. It was repetitive. It didn't expand on its arguments well. It needed better editing and formatting.
Overall, not a read I would recommend to anyone, including those who might want some religious encouragement.
Nota bene: don't send this book to a Unitarian feminist who used to work in sexual assault prevention, okay?
Earlier this week, I received an unsolicited copy of this book in the mail. I have received other unsolicited books before because of my role as a book reviewer, so I thought this might be the case. Now, having seen others' reviews, this seems to have been a mass mailing to an unknown demographic, and I am definitely not the one it was intended for.
Changed is a short, autobiographical read about one man's (self-centered) wish to "cleanse" himself and find peace with his past. That sounds pretty standard, even if uninspired, until you realize that it's also a thinly-veiled conversion tale about a man who becomes a Christian after being Jewish in an attempt to not feel dirty about his wife's rape and subsequent pregnancy by an attacker. While they experienced this situation back in 1970, when responses to sexual assault were definitely different and less supportive, this book was published in 2020 and one would hope that Cantor could have changed in the past 50 years. But no, the book repeatedly refers to his wife as being impure and "defiled." To quote: "My idol was shattered when from her lips I learned that she had been robbed of her purity and was pregnant. Impure, she was no longer better than I. No longer could she rescue me from my own impurity. What was worse about the rape of Cheryl and the pregnancy was that it forced me to have to be reminded of my own sexual defilement. Her pregnancy was a glaring reminder of my own acts of defilement" (pp.74-75). Yes, folks, even fifty years after this occurrence, he still centers the rape of his wife around his own feelings of inadequacy and how it made *him* feel. Equally appalling, a few pages before that, he talks about how he had to forgive her rapist because he, too, was guilty of sexual defilement -- thereby equating a violent act with a sexual one -- and then never speaks of forgiving his wife (not that she needed it) or letting go of his ill will toward her.
The book concludes with him talking about all of the financial success he's had with a biotech company and how he worked so much and how God had his back, etc., and this makes it clear that this is likely a self-financed book he put out because he felt God wanted him to do so.
And from a literary perspective: It was short. It was repetitive. It didn't expand on its arguments well. It needed better editing and formatting.
Overall, not a read I would recommend to anyone, including those who might want some religious encouragement.
Nota bene: don't send this book to a Unitarian feminist who used to work in sexual assault prevention, okay?
July 26, 2020
I received this book unsolicited in the mail, so I read through out of morbid curiosity. It's the story of a man who made it through fifty years and two major religions, and still hasn't managed to find a way to respect his wife as a human being. I could not recommend this book any less, and I hate that the thoughts it embodies were not extinguished long before they were ever written and published.
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January 26, 2021Patiently waiting for my mailman to deliver Cheryl's response book.
July 23, 2020
Horrific conversion propaganda - threw it right in the trash.
February 18, 2021
Unsolicited garbage that arrived in the mail. The back cover says he was devastated when he found out his girlfriend had been raped and was pregnant. Interesting information to share right away, so I looked at that chapter...
"I was crushed. Cheryl was no longer pure, wholesome and innocent... Cheryl could no longer be my path to cleansing... it forced me to have to be reminded of my own sexual defilement." F*ck you, you poor baby. What a pathetic human. Nice that your holy compassion fails to include your traumatized partner. I look forward to destroying this trash so no one else accidentally comes across it.
"I was crushed. Cheryl was no longer pure, wholesome and innocent... Cheryl could no longer be my path to cleansing... it forced me to have to be reminded of my own sexual defilement." F*ck you, you poor baby. What a pathetic human. Nice that your holy compassion fails to include your traumatized partner. I look forward to destroying this trash so no one else accidentally comes across it.
December 2, 2020
This book changed from being very cold to very hot.
I rate the book 0/5 stars.
I rate the lighter fluid 5/5 stars.
I rate the book 0/5 stars.
I rate the lighter fluid 5/5 stars.
October 29, 2020
Sexist unsolicited garbage. Went straight in the bin of rat bedding to be chewed and peed on.
March 23, 2023
I would give this book -100000 stars if I could, but alas I may not, so one will have to suffice. The entire purpose of this review is to cyberbully Tom Cantor because he has personally victimized me. :) I literally don't care who reads this review, I just want to be angry.
My family received this piece of trash unsolicited in the mail.
For those not aware, Mr. Cantor, such a lovely man, has been sending this little pamphlet out to, presumably, every person in America who he thinks is Jewish. The sole purpose of this booklet is to prosthelytize the merits of Jesus and to convince Jews that they can be both Jewish and be down with Jesus. They call themselves "Messianic Jews" which is an inherent considering "Christ"-ians are the people who follow Jesus. That was literally the schism - Christ-ians vs other Jews.
I don't have time for that BS. Beyond the fact that I disagree entirely with his life stance, I did not ask for this, I at no point ever interacted with anything that Mr. Cantor would see that might mark me as "interested" in this act of being preyed upon.
I believe this religion is merely an expression of supersessionism and is predator and not to be trusted. Your opinion on my personal spiritual beliefs has no interest for me, sir.
Stop wasting your time and money.
This book also contains commentary on how deeply Mr. Cantor felt his wife's being raped. Yes.
Never her opinion on the matter. Just how it affected him.
Dude, that's fucking gross yo.
Anyway, this is the first time I never felt badly about chucking a book in the trash. I did recycle it, though. Save the planet.
Update March 22, 2023: I saw a copy of this in a Little Free Library near me! I replaced it with a nice Chinese mythology inspired fantasy and removed that copy too. Saving readers from antisemitism and misogyny one copy at a time ✌️
My family received this piece of trash unsolicited in the mail.
For those not aware, Mr. Cantor, such a lovely man, has been sending this little pamphlet out to, presumably, every person in America who he thinks is Jewish. The sole purpose of this booklet is to prosthelytize the merits of Jesus and to convince Jews that they can be both Jewish and be down with Jesus. They call themselves "Messianic Jews" which is an inherent considering "Christ"-ians are the people who follow Jesus. That was literally the schism - Christ-ians vs other Jews.
I don't have time for that BS. Beyond the fact that I disagree entirely with his life stance, I did not ask for this, I at no point ever interacted with anything that Mr. Cantor would see that might mark me as "interested" in this act of being preyed upon.
I believe this religion is merely an expression of supersessionism and is predator and not to be trusted. Your opinion on my personal spiritual beliefs has no interest for me, sir.
Stop wasting your time and money.
This book also contains commentary on how deeply Mr. Cantor felt his wife's being raped. Yes.
Never her opinion on the matter. Just how it affected him.
Dude, that's fucking gross yo.
Anyway, this is the first time I never felt badly about chucking a book in the trash. I did recycle it, though. Save the planet.
Update March 22, 2023: I saw a copy of this in a Little Free Library near me! I replaced it with a nice Chinese mythology inspired fantasy and removed that copy too. Saving readers from antisemitism and misogyny one copy at a time ✌️
March 2, 2021
(trigger warning)
I very much wish that I could give negative stars to this abomination, and felt so strongly about this I needed to leave a review. I received an unsolicited copy of this in the mail and was ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIED by what I discovered - a man parading around brandishing how terrible his life has been because his fiancé became pregnant as a result of someone raping her. Zero mention of the impact on her (or any acknowledgement that she is a human being) and repeated mention of how she is “damaged goods” and “lost her innocence” as though she were somehow at FAULT. Every excerpt I read out of pure disbelief was an attempt to reinforce his view of himself as a martyr for marrying her despite knowing she had been “defiled.” He says repeatedly that he was initially trying to use his future wife as a way to “rid himself” of his own “sexual defilement” (choices HE MADE) but ultimately she couldn’t because she was “unpure.” He makes the decision for his wife to give away her baby with zero apparent consultation of her. He is also sure to throw in some anti-Palestine sentiments for added flair. I am genuinely in shock that this trash was published.
This is absolutely disgusting and I wish there were more that could be done to ensure this never ended up in the hands of anyone. And to his poor wife - I hope you have left this piece of garbage human at this point and are receiving the help you need to process trauma.
Never thought I’d be leaving a review like this on Goodreads, wow.
I very much wish that I could give negative stars to this abomination, and felt so strongly about this I needed to leave a review. I received an unsolicited copy of this in the mail and was ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIED by what I discovered - a man parading around brandishing how terrible his life has been because his fiancé became pregnant as a result of someone raping her. Zero mention of the impact on her (or any acknowledgement that she is a human being) and repeated mention of how she is “damaged goods” and “lost her innocence” as though she were somehow at FAULT. Every excerpt I read out of pure disbelief was an attempt to reinforce his view of himself as a martyr for marrying her despite knowing she had been “defiled.” He says repeatedly that he was initially trying to use his future wife as a way to “rid himself” of his own “sexual defilement” (choices HE MADE) but ultimately she couldn’t because she was “unpure.” He makes the decision for his wife to give away her baby with zero apparent consultation of her. He is also sure to throw in some anti-Palestine sentiments for added flair. I am genuinely in shock that this trash was published.
This is absolutely disgusting and I wish there were more that could be done to ensure this never ended up in the hands of anyone. And to his poor wife - I hope you have left this piece of garbage human at this point and are receiving the help you need to process trauma.
Never thought I’d be leaving a review like this on Goodreads, wow.
August 25, 2020
I received this unsolicited book in the mail. I'm normally against book burnings, But in this case I'll make an exception. 🔥
March 13, 2021
Got this in the mail and didn't want it. Here is an overview of the story and this man.
1. He hated being Jewish, like SO much self hate there. He now helps run the Israeli Restoration Project, to help "bring about the end of the world".
2. He continually feels "dirty" (it's his FAVORITE word), and there is obviously some pathological issue there, that he will never go to therapy to fix.
3. He found a girl named Cheryl and decided to pin all hopes and dreams on her. She apparently brought god to him. Also, he currently runs the Museum of Creation and Earth History. Yes, that bullshit museum. As well as the Life and Light Foundation, that sent everyone here this bs book.
4.Cheryl was raped and suffered trauma, and he just couldn't deal with that! According to him, she became "dirty" to him and he wanted to remove her from his life. I have no idea as to why she didn't dump his ass and run from this mother fucker. I mean really. You get raped and deal with all of this trauma and then the man who claims to love you wants to leave you because you're "disgusting" now? Wow. That's a keeper. Total couple goals right there.
Yep, he's a piece of shit. Of course the end is a bunch of religious shit that gets so convoluted that it's hard to even get a message out of it. I didn't finish reading that word-salad. I just chucked it into the garbage where it belonged.
1. He hated being Jewish, like SO much self hate there. He now helps run the Israeli Restoration Project, to help "bring about the end of the world".
2. He continually feels "dirty" (it's his FAVORITE word), and there is obviously some pathological issue there, that he will never go to therapy to fix.
3. He found a girl named Cheryl and decided to pin all hopes and dreams on her. She apparently brought god to him. Also, he currently runs the Museum of Creation and Earth History. Yes, that bullshit museum. As well as the Life and Light Foundation, that sent everyone here this bs book.
4.Cheryl was raped and suffered trauma, and he just couldn't deal with that! According to him, she became "dirty" to him and he wanted to remove her from his life. I have no idea as to why she didn't dump his ass and run from this mother fucker. I mean really. You get raped and deal with all of this trauma and then the man who claims to love you wants to leave you because you're "disgusting" now? Wow. That's a keeper. Total couple goals right there.
Yep, he's a piece of shit. Of course the end is a bunch of religious shit that gets so convoluted that it's hard to even get a message out of it. I didn't finish reading that word-salad. I just chucked it into the garbage where it belonged.
January 25, 2021
TL; DR: If you get this book in the mail, immediately throw it in the recycle bin. Come to find out, the writer of this book has been spending millions trying to get Jewish people to convert to Christianity. (This book was addressed to my fiancé, who’s Jewish.) In 2013, Jewish people in the Baltimore area were annoyed because apparently, this guy (from California) spent $1 Million to get Baptists to go door-to-door in Jewish neighborhoods around Baltimore to convert them to Jesus with the message, “You can be Jewish AND Christian!”. Well, apparently, last year, this dude’s family found out that 50 years prior, his wife was (allegedly) raped just before they were married, and they put the baby up for adoption. So Tom used this as an excuse to pen a poorly written screed that could be called, “I was a disgusting pervert, but then I met Jesus and he made me better! And you can, too, even if you’re a Jew!”
It’s got a lot of weird “original sin” kind of language that is weird in Protestant circles. Plus, it feels mostly like a gross “purity” primer because, even though he wrote it in 2019, he talks about how the sex he had as a teenager (in the 60s) made him so dirty. Apparently, his life is “a history of being lost and defiled”. What’s odd is that the lost part ended when he was about 20, and he was a Christian for 50 years after that. WTF?
When this dude was young, he was really, really stupid.
Being a bad kid - all his own fault, led him to become DIRTY as a teenager as he had sex. So at 17 he decided to go find a “clean” girl. WTF? So HE could DEFILE this “pure and wholesome” girl? (His words, not mine.) What an asshole. So he starts a relationship with this girl based on dishonesty, he lies to meet her, he lies to get on her schedule, he lies about everything to spend more time with her. And he “hoped to exact a cleansing nectar of life” from her. Maybe he was right. He was horrible. Of course, his Jewish father tries to “indoctrinate” him to convince him to marry someone who is Jewish, instead of this girl. Why is it called indoctrination when a Jew does it, but when a Christian does it, it’s lovingly teaching the truth? And apparently all that lying was ok, because it’s never addressed again.
Come to find out, while traveling Europe, his girl (Cheryl) is raped and becomes pregnant. He marries her and they put the baby up for adoption. Then during his early marriage, he finds out she has PTSD. Fifty years later, in this book, this is what he writes about her:
“It was now obvious to me that, through no fault of Cheryl’s, she was no longer wholesome. She had become defiled. She was “damaged goods.” Any hope I had of healing and recovery from her was shattered when she was violated and lost her innocence. All the help I had hoped to get from my relationship with her now was dead.”
Holy shit! He makes her rape all about him! How narcissistic can you get? He goes on:
“Where did that leave me? I still needed cleansing. I needed hope. I still needed to be free from the burden of the past. Where would I now turn? To whom would I go?
“Cheryl was like a beautiful vase now shattered. I saw myself kneeling down on the floor trying to re-assemble that beautiful vase, the protected, sheltered symbol of innocence and purity. The task was impossible, too late. The clock could not be turned back.”
I get that I have no idea what someone could feel going through this - if it really happened (it was kept hidden for 50 years). (I believe women. My point is, this is not a woman accusing a man of rape - this is a man saying that the woman he married 50 years ago was pregnant and rape is the only story that fits with his "purity" narrative. It may have happened, but it's a convenient story. Especially that he makes it all about him.) And he was 20 years old when this happened. But to pen these words 50 years later without a sense of shame or irony is pretty fucking disgusting. (And if you have more of an issue with me cussing in this review than with the disgusting things he says, you’re less of a Christian than he is.)
And I also get that he’s setting the stage for how “Jesus can be the only one to heal us from our past” - but to use his wife’s rape in this way is just disgusting. If Jesus can heal you from your past, and this happened 50 years ago, and you turned to Jesus 50 years ago, why do you act like you’re just being healed of this now?
And for some reason, soon after that, he decides he wants to find God, so begins reading a Bible. Wait - I thought that his wife's “favorite person” was Jewish - Jesus. But they didn’t have anything related to Christianity in there home? Weird. Anyway, he starts reading the Bible and has to take a two-hour shower because he realized how dirty he is. Because his “evil heart” was “oozing out defiling sexual thoughts.” Which from a Christian POV, is just weird - Jesus is supposed to wash your sins away and make you new. Not make you dwell on what a disgusting child you were 50 years ago. This is all a gross perversion of even the the fundamentalist Christian upbringing I had.
Then, he suddenly remembers a time at a past Passover where, just to piss one of his Aunts off, his Uncle yelled, “Christians believed that Christ was the passover lamb!” So he thinks to himself, is this true? and looks in the bible to find out! It was at that point he realized Jesus could wash his sins. (Finally!)
In his book, he uses the word “Moslems” when meaning “Muslims”, which is an offensive word to use. I guess that in telling his story, it’s OK to be offensive to people who don’t believe in Jesus.
So, soon after the baby is born and given away for adoption, he decides he needs God and wants to go to synagogue. But when he talks to the reformed Rabbi and learns that reformed Jews don’t treat the Old Testament as literal and factual stories, he rejects that synagogue. He then goes to an Orthodox synagogue, and after the service, he goes up to the Orthodox Rabbi and says, “I think Jesus may have been the Messiah.” And is surprised when the Rabbi yells at him. What a dumbass! I mean, what did he expect? He grew up Jewish. He should have known better.
Of course, then he goes to a Baptist church and they welcome him even though he’s Jewish! Wow! And the pastor tells him how to receive Jesus and he does!
And he is cleansed! That was in 1970. Fast forward over 30 years, when, in 2002, his company was sued. He says several times that they “only had $1 million” at that time. But, after they won the suit after 5 years, he magically had $15 million and it’s because God took care of his business. From then on he knew that if he didn’t concentrate on money, but annoyed everyone he had business with asking them if they knew Jesus, then God would magically keep him wealthy!
So why is he writing this book now that he’s been cleansed for 50 years? And 18 years after he found a renewed purpose of telling people they need Jesus? So people could spend $8.95 on this piece of crap at the “Creation Bookstore”. It’s just a bad book.
He tells two stories at the end that for him are a metaphor of what it is to be a Christian. One story is about the father of a Jew he knows. This father was living in Palestine and tried to get his Jewish family to move to Palestine from Europe before Hitler came to power. They didn’t, and were murdered. He relates to this man because, like him, he’s just trying to save people.
The second story is about a friend of his who died with cancer without Tom being able to force him to be a Christian. Apparently, this man died in the hospital asking for Tom.
This guy is everything that’s wrong about christianity and how evangelicals go about trying to get people to reject their faith and convert to the one they believe is true. And what’s his reasoning? So they can not feel dirty and get rich. Ugh.
I feel dirty now. I’m going to take a 2-hour shower.
It’s got a lot of weird “original sin” kind of language that is weird in Protestant circles. Plus, it feels mostly like a gross “purity” primer because, even though he wrote it in 2019, he talks about how the sex he had as a teenager (in the 60s) made him so dirty. Apparently, his life is “a history of being lost and defiled”. What’s odd is that the lost part ended when he was about 20, and he was a Christian for 50 years after that. WTF?
When this dude was young, he was really, really stupid.
Being a bad kid - all his own fault, led him to become DIRTY as a teenager as he had sex. So at 17 he decided to go find a “clean” girl. WTF? So HE could DEFILE this “pure and wholesome” girl? (His words, not mine.) What an asshole. So he starts a relationship with this girl based on dishonesty, he lies to meet her, he lies to get on her schedule, he lies about everything to spend more time with her. And he “hoped to exact a cleansing nectar of life” from her. Maybe he was right. He was horrible. Of course, his Jewish father tries to “indoctrinate” him to convince him to marry someone who is Jewish, instead of this girl. Why is it called indoctrination when a Jew does it, but when a Christian does it, it’s lovingly teaching the truth? And apparently all that lying was ok, because it’s never addressed again.
Come to find out, while traveling Europe, his girl (Cheryl) is raped and becomes pregnant. He marries her and they put the baby up for adoption. Then during his early marriage, he finds out she has PTSD. Fifty years later, in this book, this is what he writes about her:
“It was now obvious to me that, through no fault of Cheryl’s, she was no longer wholesome. She had become defiled. She was “damaged goods.” Any hope I had of healing and recovery from her was shattered when she was violated and lost her innocence. All the help I had hoped to get from my relationship with her now was dead.”
Holy shit! He makes her rape all about him! How narcissistic can you get? He goes on:
“Where did that leave me? I still needed cleansing. I needed hope. I still needed to be free from the burden of the past. Where would I now turn? To whom would I go?
“Cheryl was like a beautiful vase now shattered. I saw myself kneeling down on the floor trying to re-assemble that beautiful vase, the protected, sheltered symbol of innocence and purity. The task was impossible, too late. The clock could not be turned back.”
I get that I have no idea what someone could feel going through this - if it really happened (it was kept hidden for 50 years). (I believe women. My point is, this is not a woman accusing a man of rape - this is a man saying that the woman he married 50 years ago was pregnant and rape is the only story that fits with his "purity" narrative. It may have happened, but it's a convenient story. Especially that he makes it all about him.) And he was 20 years old when this happened. But to pen these words 50 years later without a sense of shame or irony is pretty fucking disgusting. (And if you have more of an issue with me cussing in this review than with the disgusting things he says, you’re less of a Christian than he is.)
And I also get that he’s setting the stage for how “Jesus can be the only one to heal us from our past” - but to use his wife’s rape in this way is just disgusting. If Jesus can heal you from your past, and this happened 50 years ago, and you turned to Jesus 50 years ago, why do you act like you’re just being healed of this now?
And for some reason, soon after that, he decides he wants to find God, so begins reading a Bible. Wait - I thought that his wife's “favorite person” was Jewish - Jesus. But they didn’t have anything related to Christianity in there home? Weird. Anyway, he starts reading the Bible and has to take a two-hour shower because he realized how dirty he is. Because his “evil heart” was “oozing out defiling sexual thoughts.” Which from a Christian POV, is just weird - Jesus is supposed to wash your sins away and make you new. Not make you dwell on what a disgusting child you were 50 years ago. This is all a gross perversion of even the the fundamentalist Christian upbringing I had.
Then, he suddenly remembers a time at a past Passover where, just to piss one of his Aunts off, his Uncle yelled, “Christians believed that Christ was the passover lamb!” So he thinks to himself, is this true? and looks in the bible to find out! It was at that point he realized Jesus could wash his sins. (Finally!)
In his book, he uses the word “Moslems” when meaning “Muslims”, which is an offensive word to use. I guess that in telling his story, it’s OK to be offensive to people who don’t believe in Jesus.
So, soon after the baby is born and given away for adoption, he decides he needs God and wants to go to synagogue. But when he talks to the reformed Rabbi and learns that reformed Jews don’t treat the Old Testament as literal and factual stories, he rejects that synagogue. He then goes to an Orthodox synagogue, and after the service, he goes up to the Orthodox Rabbi and says, “I think Jesus may have been the Messiah.” And is surprised when the Rabbi yells at him. What a dumbass! I mean, what did he expect? He grew up Jewish. He should have known better.
Of course, then he goes to a Baptist church and they welcome him even though he’s Jewish! Wow! And the pastor tells him how to receive Jesus and he does!
And he is cleansed! That was in 1970. Fast forward over 30 years, when, in 2002, his company was sued. He says several times that they “only had $1 million” at that time. But, after they won the suit after 5 years, he magically had $15 million and it’s because God took care of his business. From then on he knew that if he didn’t concentrate on money, but annoyed everyone he had business with asking them if they knew Jesus, then God would magically keep him wealthy!
So why is he writing this book now that he’s been cleansed for 50 years? And 18 years after he found a renewed purpose of telling people they need Jesus? So people could spend $8.95 on this piece of crap at the “Creation Bookstore”. It’s just a bad book.
He tells two stories at the end that for him are a metaphor of what it is to be a Christian. One story is about the father of a Jew he knows. This father was living in Palestine and tried to get his Jewish family to move to Palestine from Europe before Hitler came to power. They didn’t, and were murdered. He relates to this man because, like him, he’s just trying to save people.
The second story is about a friend of his who died with cancer without Tom being able to force him to be a Christian. Apparently, this man died in the hospital asking for Tom.
This guy is everything that’s wrong about christianity and how evangelicals go about trying to get people to reject their faith and convert to the one they believe is true. And what’s his reasoning? So they can not feel dirty and get rich. Ugh.
I feel dirty now. I’m going to take a 2-hour shower.
February 5, 2021
Unsolicited Christian propaganda. Unfortunately another human who believes that just because something feels true to you, that it must be objectively true.
March 26, 2021
A sophomoric self centered testimony of a sexually disturbed man. What is supposed to sell the merits of being “saved” by a personal relationship with Jesus gets mired in deep ugh quickly. Less than halfway through the book when Mr. Cantor tries to elicit sympathy by whining his wife cannot “heal” his personal sexual defilement (he had sex sans matrimony while in Europe) because as a victim of rape she is no longer wholesome, actually describing her as defiled and damaged goods. I should have thrown the book away at that point. I feel dirty just reading this kind of drivel. I did scan the rest, in case there was a reversal of the disgusting tone. There was not. The point was the author was finally able to shed his filthy secret of putting the child of his wife’s rape up for adoption. His son finds a half sibling through a genetic service, and this gives the tortured Mr. Cantor the excuse to tell all, giving Jesus the glory of course. Nothing against Jesus, but Cantor never says anything about his wife after this point. The ick factor of this tome is unrelenting. Enough that I felt compelled to write my first book review ever, in the hope I can save someone else the pain of reading this tripe.
November 14, 2020
I received this book in the mail today completely unsolicited. Turns out this guy is sending his book to random Jewish people around the world in an attempt to convert them to Christianity. Perhaps the oddest part of this is that I am not Jewish, nor is anybody in my family...I have no clue why I was selected to receive this dumpster fire book of cringey propaganda. I've never thrown away a book before, but there's a first time for everything I guess.
August 5, 2020
Didn't read it. Came unsolicited in the mail. Into the recycling bin it goes. If you are going to send people books, at least know your demographic. Don't try to convert me you crazies. 👿👿👿
March 11, 2021
Can we not target people by their last names? Get off your high horse, Tom Cantor, and stop clogging our mailboxes.
February 17, 2021
This book was sent to me in the mail, unsolicited. I'm at a loss for words, honestly. This pompous jerk spends 85 pages whining about how he was dirty because of his own choices to be sexually active. Then spends pages droning on about finding a "pure and wholesome girl" to clear his conscience. And he somehow finds the audacity to be disappointed that she's raped and can no longer give him what he wants from her; she's not the pure little lamb that he can use to clear his dirty conscience. He packages this all up under the guise of finding his faith. Don't be fooled, this is nothing more than a pathetic loser whining about how his woman got her purity taken and can no longer adequately save him from his own shame. Disgusting. My only regret is wasting the 5 minutes that it took to kill off every last brain cell I had left. I am now dumber for reading this garbage.
February 21, 2021
My husband received this unsolicited garbage in the mail. No return address. From skimming the pages, we quickly learned it was a book set to convert Jews. Not to mention how the author speaks of his wife being “damaged goods” because she was raped. He wanted to marry a pure, wholesome woman to “cleanse him” of his own sexual escapades. Just awful. We have no idea how they received my husband’s name & address, but it’s clearly targeted marketing, and creepy. Would give it zero stars if possible. 🤮
October 12, 2020
Also got this unsolicited in the mail. Read the first few pages and if you can think of it as a bad SNL skit it almost makes it bearable. Otherwise very self-centered and off putting from the first few pages. It’s not relatable and the fact his biggest sin is something that happened to someone else in his life should be all the reason to not waste your time... simply out of touch with reality.
March 28, 2021
My boyfriend got this book in the mail. We don’t know why or how but they wasted their money & paper on us. We aren’t religious, but I RESPECT religion (regardless of which one) because I know it’s something deeply personal & special to people. I have read books about various religions & multiple religious texts across all faiths. I find theology itself fascinating. I wanted to clarify that before I go into this review...
What absolute garbage this book is. The author sounds more like a selfish, “woe-is-me” jerk. He victimizes his life experience as if his choices weren’t his own. His “sexual defilement” (where he willingly went around Europe & had sex with a bunch of women) makes it seem like he wanted nothing but love and all those feminist, 60s hippy women used him like a sex toy. Oh, puh-lease!! If you felt dirty with the choices you made & you wanted to find God, great! More power to you. But just come out & say “I made poor life choices. I wanted to stop doing that.” Own up to the choices that you made with out being a “victim”. 🙄🙄🙄
This is then followed by how his wife’s rape & subsequent pregnancy was traumatizing for HIM because she was “no longer pure” or “clean” or whatever misogynistic rhetoric he wants to use. She needed to be pure so she could “cleanse him” & she couldn’t do that anymore...you know....because of her rape. 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒
I can 100% understand how a spouses rape or trauma can affect their significant other. “When you hurt, I hurt.” It’s painful to know of the horrific things they have gone through. My issue is not the pain that he feels from her being raped. My issue is the absurd notion that (1) her rape has made her impure. I understand many religions have certain beliefs, but I just can’t get behind further vicitimization and TRUE defilement by making someone feel dirty because some heinous monster did something unspeakable to them. (2) BRUH, it is NOT her job to fix you, homie (yes, I know that’s part of the point is that he found God on his own, but WTF?!). Laying that kind of responsibility/expectation on another person because you can’t take responsibility for your own actions is the epitome of selfishness.
Then the way he speaks about the adoption. Like the poor baby was something to be gotten rid of. The way he described the whole situation reminded me of someone taking the family dog out to the middle of a field, 50 miles away from anything, throwing rocks at it to go away, & then driving off. Just absolutely disgusting the way it’s depicted.
These are my feelings after just flipping to random pages & reading a few. I can’t imagine how much I’d despise it if I read it cover to cover. “Life & Light”, my patootie. Finding God does not guarantee making anyone less hateful & selfish.
What absolute garbage this book is. The author sounds more like a selfish, “woe-is-me” jerk. He victimizes his life experience as if his choices weren’t his own. His “sexual defilement” (where he willingly went around Europe & had sex with a bunch of women) makes it seem like he wanted nothing but love and all those feminist, 60s hippy women used him like a sex toy. Oh, puh-lease!! If you felt dirty with the choices you made & you wanted to find God, great! More power to you. But just come out & say “I made poor life choices. I wanted to stop doing that.” Own up to the choices that you made with out being a “victim”. 🙄🙄🙄
This is then followed by how his wife’s rape & subsequent pregnancy was traumatizing for HIM because she was “no longer pure” or “clean” or whatever misogynistic rhetoric he wants to use. She needed to be pure so she could “cleanse him” & she couldn’t do that anymore...you know....because of her rape. 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒
I can 100% understand how a spouses rape or trauma can affect their significant other. “When you hurt, I hurt.” It’s painful to know of the horrific things they have gone through. My issue is not the pain that he feels from her being raped. My issue is the absurd notion that (1) her rape has made her impure. I understand many religions have certain beliefs, but I just can’t get behind further vicitimization and TRUE defilement by making someone feel dirty because some heinous monster did something unspeakable to them. (2) BRUH, it is NOT her job to fix you, homie (yes, I know that’s part of the point is that he found God on his own, but WTF?!). Laying that kind of responsibility/expectation on another person because you can’t take responsibility for your own actions is the epitome of selfishness.
Then the way he speaks about the adoption. Like the poor baby was something to be gotten rid of. The way he described the whole situation reminded me of someone taking the family dog out to the middle of a field, 50 miles away from anything, throwing rocks at it to go away, & then driving off. Just absolutely disgusting the way it’s depicted.
These are my feelings after just flipping to random pages & reading a few. I can’t imagine how much I’d despise it if I read it cover to cover. “Life & Light”, my patootie. Finding God does not guarantee making anyone less hateful & selfish.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 2, 2021
Unsolicited proselytizing attempt received in the US mail. Like Jews for Jesus. Throw it in the trash
March 30, 2022
My roommate received this in the mail, and upon researching a little, we figured out that this is mailed to people who the author, or his organization, assumes to be Jewish, whether they actually are or not. She decided not to read the book, so I volunteered since I love anything unusual and focused on religion.
Cantor tells his autobiography of being raised Jewish, making some decisions in his youth which he regrets, and eventually becoming a Christian. A large focus of the book is on the fact that the woman who became his wife was raped and became pregnant from this. He loved her and expected her to fix him from his previous "defilements" (I think this is the word he used), but once he finds out about what happened to her, he speaks about her as being impure or unclean because she was assaulted, which is pretty upsetting language.
That specific part of the story aside, the book is short and I was interested in learning something more in-depth about his beliefs and how he was so convinced he needed to be "cleaned" or "fixed" and then he found that Christianity helped him most with that. I think some of it was because of his wife (girlfriend at the time) and how she spoke positively about Jesus. But he also made it seem like she didn't pressure him too much. Although I was raised in Christianity and have my own beliefs, I tried to ask myself if this story would compel me enough to learn more about Christianity, and I felt like it didn't because his story was missing details. Just my opinion.
While I was reading, I really tried to sympathize with Cantor. He feels very strongly about his faith, and is trying to help as many people as possible with meeting God. I think the way he's going about this is problematic, since he's specifically targeting Jewish people, or people he assumes are Jewish. Maybe I just have a different approach to religion, but people can decide for themselves.
Last thing - Cantor's writing is simplistic. I would rather not criticize this, since I believe in including everyone regardless of their reading ability, but it was to the point where I have to assume that he did not do this purposely, and he basically just wrote this on his own, without an editor.
Cantor tells his autobiography of being raised Jewish, making some decisions in his youth which he regrets, and eventually becoming a Christian. A large focus of the book is on the fact that the woman who became his wife was raped and became pregnant from this. He loved her and expected her to fix him from his previous "defilements" (I think this is the word he used), but once he finds out about what happened to her, he speaks about her as being impure or unclean because she was assaulted, which is pretty upsetting language.
That specific part of the story aside, the book is short and I was interested in learning something more in-depth about his beliefs and how he was so convinced he needed to be "cleaned" or "fixed" and then he found that Christianity helped him most with that. I think some of it was because of his wife (girlfriend at the time) and how she spoke positively about Jesus. But he also made it seem like she didn't pressure him too much. Although I was raised in Christianity and have my own beliefs, I tried to ask myself if this story would compel me enough to learn more about Christianity, and I felt like it didn't because his story was missing details. Just my opinion.
While I was reading, I really tried to sympathize with Cantor. He feels very strongly about his faith, and is trying to help as many people as possible with meeting God. I think the way he's going about this is problematic, since he's specifically targeting Jewish people, or people he assumes are Jewish. Maybe I just have a different approach to religion, but people can decide for themselves.
Last thing - Cantor's writing is simplistic. I would rather not criticize this, since I believe in including everyone regardless of their reading ability, but it was to the point where I have to assume that he did not do this purposely, and he basically just wrote this on his own, without an editor.
January 12, 2021
Many people writing reviews here use the word "offensive" to describe this book. Why they find it offensive is their issue, not that of the author. Yes, I'm Jewish - both by choice and by heritage. But to call a Christian's outreach "offensive" is a little over the top, considering the de facto anti-Semitism that is growing, thriving and accepted in the United States today. It's their job - nothing more, nothing less.
At any rate, this very short book describes Mr. Cantor's journey from essentially secular Jew to born-again Christian. It isn't a sales pitch for Christianity - at least not in the "hard sell" category - but it can and should be instructive to those who are JINOs - Jews in name only (aka "cultural Jews" but not religious Jews.) Cantor had been raised in a home that kept the holidays, but in which the religious component was noticeably absent.
As a life coach, I was more intrigued by the process of change he describes as well as his motivations. The book actually gave me some perspectives on how better to assist my clients in their search for meaning. I doubt that was the author's intention, but it was a nugget I was able to extract.
The literary quality of the book is thin - it tends to be very superficial and glosses over a lot of information. The fact that it is only 85 pages (including TOC) and printed in 14 point type lends credence to this.
The book came to my post office box unsolicited - it was free, so I don't feel like I've wasted anything in reading it. All in all, it merits an "okay" - not horrible like many self-published books are, but not something I would have paid money to obtain.
At any rate, this very short book describes Mr. Cantor's journey from essentially secular Jew to born-again Christian. It isn't a sales pitch for Christianity - at least not in the "hard sell" category - but it can and should be instructive to those who are JINOs - Jews in name only (aka "cultural Jews" but not religious Jews.) Cantor had been raised in a home that kept the holidays, but in which the religious component was noticeably absent.
As a life coach, I was more intrigued by the process of change he describes as well as his motivations. The book actually gave me some perspectives on how better to assist my clients in their search for meaning. I doubt that was the author's intention, but it was a nugget I was able to extract.
The literary quality of the book is thin - it tends to be very superficial and glosses over a lot of information. The fact that it is only 85 pages (including TOC) and printed in 14 point type lends credence to this.
The book came to my post office box unsolicited - it was free, so I don't feel like I've wasted anything in reading it. All in all, it merits an "okay" - not horrible like many self-published books are, but not something I would have paid money to obtain.
January 19, 2021
Like others, this thing arrived in my mailbox in a mass-mailer. I don't know how I was targeted as the correct demographic for this... raised Catholic, now consider myself Pagan (and its not like I'm running with any circles where my information would indicate any of this). I can tell from glancing at a few pages that it is written to try to convert Jewish people to Christianity.
I could tell by the back cover that there's no way I could have stomached this garbage. Just flipping through I see lots of pages with photos of travels and places he's been in life, as if they matter, clumsily thrown into a lot of really large and poorly written print. I mean no I didn't expect Hemingway, but I'm definitely getting the picture that this is a dude that has money now and feels compelled to use it to push his views on other people.
There's so much sexual shame in this book... acting like one is unclean and ruined if anything should happen to them... the whole "damaged goods" analogy.
Oh and what a treat.... I flipped to the end of the book, just glancing at a few pages, and came across animal testing. Oh yay lucky me! **barf**
-10 out of 5 stars. I didn't have the option for that.
I could tell by the back cover that there's no way I could have stomached this garbage. Just flipping through I see lots of pages with photos of travels and places he's been in life, as if they matter, clumsily thrown into a lot of really large and poorly written print. I mean no I didn't expect Hemingway, but I'm definitely getting the picture that this is a dude that has money now and feels compelled to use it to push his views on other people.
There's so much sexual shame in this book... acting like one is unclean and ruined if anything should happen to them... the whole "damaged goods" analogy.
Oh and what a treat.... I flipped to the end of the book, just glancing at a few pages, and came across animal testing. Oh yay lucky me! **barf**
-10 out of 5 stars. I didn't have the option for that.
January 24, 2021
Many people have reviewed it. You should read them but, probably, not the book.
Consider.
There is a part at the beginning. He is still young and sent to military school. He sets off a fire alarm but insists it was an accident.
Ok, every child alive who pulls a fire alarm 🚨 pretends it was an accident. You shouldn't even say something which will sound so obviously like a lie.
That isn't the joke.
So, our friend, Tom is at military school and claims he was rebellious. He would always touch the fire alarm. "It felt good to touch it."
Are we talking about fire alarms?
No, really. Is this some thinly veiled metaphor?
Ok, so he would touch it every day. Again, same question. Are we talking about a fire alarm?
Then one day he touched it and the glass was loose and it went off.
Um, cough. Ah... Moving on.
Glass shattered on the floor.
Glass, then. Really? You know there is only a very little bit of glass in a fire alarm. I don't think the shattered glass would be really all that noticable.
All the kids were quick to point out he was the one who pulled the alarm.
Um, if you were touching the alarm every day an adult would have warned you. I don't think this is really about fire alarms.
Consider.
There is a part at the beginning. He is still young and sent to military school. He sets off a fire alarm but insists it was an accident.
Ok, every child alive who pulls a fire alarm 🚨 pretends it was an accident. You shouldn't even say something which will sound so obviously like a lie.
That isn't the joke.
So, our friend, Tom is at military school and claims he was rebellious. He would always touch the fire alarm. "It felt good to touch it."
Are we talking about fire alarms?
No, really. Is this some thinly veiled metaphor?
Ok, so he would touch it every day. Again, same question. Are we talking about a fire alarm?
Then one day he touched it and the glass was loose and it went off.
Um, cough. Ah... Moving on.
Glass shattered on the floor.
Glass, then. Really? You know there is only a very little bit of glass in a fire alarm. I don't think the shattered glass would be really all that noticable.
All the kids were quick to point out he was the one who pulled the alarm.
Um, if you were touching the alarm every day an adult would have warned you. I don't think this is really about fire alarms.
February 3, 2021
I received this book unsolicited by mail. Written by a former traditional Jewish man who "saved" himself through the discoveries of Christianity. A revitalized view of the Old Testament/New Testament through Narcisstic delight.
Nevermind the discussion of his wife's rape and subsequent pregnancy, the book focuses on his own "journey". A story appealing to those who enjoy propping themselves upon the shoulders of the victimized towards self-proclaimed enlightenment. A real page-turner (sarcasm intended).
I was confused why I would get this unsolicited book until it was pointed out repeatedly by others the author is targeting assumed "Jewish" last names to solicit. It's offensive and reprehensible. Whoever does the marketing for this deserves the negative reviews for such disgraceful efforts. But regardless if someone is a practicing Jew or not, who wants yellow press like this in your mailbox? Prejudiced garbage.
Nevermind the discussion of his wife's rape and subsequent pregnancy, the book focuses on his own "journey". A story appealing to those who enjoy propping themselves upon the shoulders of the victimized towards self-proclaimed enlightenment. A real page-turner (sarcasm intended).
I was confused why I would get this unsolicited book until it was pointed out repeatedly by others the author is targeting assumed "Jewish" last names to solicit. It's offensive and reprehensible. Whoever does the marketing for this deserves the negative reviews for such disgraceful efforts. But regardless if someone is a practicing Jew or not, who wants yellow press like this in your mailbox? Prejudiced garbage.
June 14, 2022
I wouldn't wipe my ass with this book
November 23, 2022
Thought a clearly ridiculous Christian conversion book sent to me in the mail would be funny reading, quickly went from funny haha to funny weird real quick. As he says of his wife's rape, "It was now obvious to me that, through no fault of Cheryl’s she was no longer wholesome. She had become defiled. She was damaged goods. Any hope I had of healing and recovery from her was shattered when she was violated and lost her innocence. All the help I had hoped to get from my relationship with her was now dead." Like damn Tom I'm glad you finding Christ helped you recover from having a one-night stand in Europe but I think that time could've been better spent supporting your wife, like at the bare minimum allowing her to see the child she carried before you forced her to put it up for adoption. Why do all these freaks turn to Jesus like Jesus would hate your guts man.
UPDATE: I just realized he sent to me because he comes from a line of Lithuanian Jews, and my last name generally means "From Lithuania", and because of that he assumed there's a decent percent chance I'm Jewish and targeted me to mail to. Holy shit.
UPDATE: I just realized he sent to me because he comes from a line of Lithuanian Jews, and my last name generally means "From Lithuania", and because of that he assumed there's a decent percent chance I'm Jewish and targeted me to mail to. Holy shit.
June 11, 2021
I received an unsolicited free copy of this book in the mail. It had a purple cover and said Changed on the cover…so I thought if I don’t like him in the beginning….maybe he’ll become more likeable. He does not ever become likeable.
This guy is egotistical, selfish, extremely judgmental and sends awful messages.
Example 1: He sends the message that sex is bad and should be considered sexual defilement.
My objection: Sex isn’t bad if it’s consensual. I can’t imagine the heartbreak his belief must cause his past sexual partners. His belief is cold and cruel.
Example 2: He tries to find salvation in another person.
My objection: He didn’t need salvation. He didn’t need to find it in another person. And he didn’t need to stalk, lie to, and manipulate another person into trying to be his salvation.
For a person who claims to have accepted god, this man has no compassion. Zero compassion for others. No empathy. No sympathy.
He starts the book off on a selfish note and it ended on a selfish note.
This guy is egotistical, selfish, extremely judgmental and sends awful messages.
Example 1: He sends the message that sex is bad and should be considered sexual defilement.
My objection: Sex isn’t bad if it’s consensual. I can’t imagine the heartbreak his belief must cause his past sexual partners. His belief is cold and cruel.
Example 2: He tries to find salvation in another person.
My objection: He didn’t need salvation. He didn’t need to find it in another person. And he didn’t need to stalk, lie to, and manipulate another person into trying to be his salvation.
For a person who claims to have accepted god, this man has no compassion. Zero compassion for others. No empathy. No sympathy.
He starts the book off on a selfish note and it ended on a selfish note.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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