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Ruin

My Name Is Tryst

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(UNPUBLISHED - as of 5th April, 2025.)

THIS BOOK HAS BEEN UNPUBLISHED AND IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE IN ANY FORMAT.

ebook

First published July 23, 2020

162 people are currently reading
2674 people want to read

About the author

Julie Anne Addicott

25 books485 followers
As of October 2025, the author no longer writes under this name.

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5 stars
332 (57%)
4 stars
134 (23%)
3 stars
61 (10%)
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16 (2%)
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32 (5%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 225 reviews
Profile Image for Crystal (Crystalreads2).
968 reviews987 followers
July 21, 2025
4/26/25

I just found out people worked together to get this book banned. Did you actually read the trigger warnings, or the author’s warning, IT’S NOT ROMANCE!! The author even stated that in front of the book,on goodreads and. Amazon..Did you read it?!? If you did , you didn’t comprehend it. Not one part of this book is romanticized. Also it’s fiction!!!!!! . You people and yes I am pointing fingers are part of the problem, it’s a YOU problem! Banning is censorship! Remember that! You’re not the judge and jury of books.

Please, take the author's trigger warning seriously. If you follow me, you know I read a lot of dark books; this is one of my darkest. My name is Tryst is not a dark romance novel. It is a dark, sadistic, horrific, and gory story of child abuse, pedophilia, and human trafficking. This was far from an easy read.

Tryst is a product of his environment. Psychopathic Monster On the verge of a schizophrenic breakdown. His father. A monster and devil. Tryst never got to see or feel unconditional love until he met Glen. It’s not a love story, but they do love each other in their dysfunctional way. We read many sides of how people are affected by human trafficking in this book. Heartwrenching.

Julie Ann Addicott did her research. Her writing is phenomenal in this book, and she went into a dark place for this. I have one concern: I wish there was a Pov for Carlie. I know it’s Tryst’s book. However, Carlie is part of his obsession.

1/9/21. Reread change my four star to five stars. The second time around gave me a different perspective. My Name is Tryst is pitch black on my darkness scale, remind you this is not a dark romance novel. The only thing I will change is to add his obsession with his sister and recommend to read Lost her Way first. I am so happy I bought this in paperback.
Profile Image for Matilda.
24 reviews11 followers
July 9, 2025
I would just like to inform people that this book is about Tryst who is a human traff!cker leader who loves !ncest with his sister, would like to also do that to his sisters underage kids and I quote:

“Gotta start them young, like you, sis. Train them, get them used to sucking c0ck and having their bodies touched alllll over. I bet she’ll scream for me once I’m inside that tight little p//ssy.”

“Don’t worry, sis, I’ll treat her real good. A couple of weeks and she’ll be begging for my c0ck.”

Tryst is a p3do all around anyway cause he just likes them kids of all kinds he aint a picky man, r/|pes people for a job, p1mps his boyfriend Glen out and Glen even participates in those r/pes. Tryst even goes and r/pes children and then goes to Glen to have s3x with him after it. Glen is as much of a sick freak as Tryst because he is as much as a participant in those crimes as much as Tryst.

”check the trigger warnings you dumb f2ck.”
The trigger warnings do not state in any way that the main character is doing these things, so with peace and love checking the warnings does not prepare you to be inside the mind of the child r||pist. I personally do not want to read about child r//pe from the POV of the one doing it and enjoying it. So maybe put a proper TW for it if you’re already doing the damn list anyway don’t be stingy with it suddenly. I’ve read so many books with the trigger warning of child sa but it has never been the mmc’s doing it so make it clear.

This book also to me feels like a straight up r/pe torture p0rn with how you’re hit with a million scene’s of different ways it happens every chapter and it does start at some point to get a bit concerning to be that deep into writing child sa and just torture r/pe in general. And most of it seems to cater to girls only which is even more concerning because (not to be that guy but) what if the author was a man? Would this book then make you a bit more uncomfortable or no? I don’t know if this author just has a deep hatred for women but it sure does seem like it.

There’s absolutely way too many people saying theyre obsessed with Tryst and love him these days and they always say ”I love this monster”
no lets say it like it is ”i love a child r//pist”, say it with me guys 🗣️ ”we fuck with men who likes kids cause hes got a bad childhood poor him.” 🗣️🗣️


Also do not get me started on the way this is a ”toxic love story” and having a whole #trystandglen4ever tag for them when you are quite literally talking about two men who love to SA people for a living. A love story between those two men is not something to be promoted. The author at the time used to tag her every post as #mmromance and said its a toxic love story, said they’re her favorite couple but I have no clue what shes doing anymore because she has blocked me. You can say this is a story about human trafficking but is this the story people wanted to have about it? Is this the image you want to put out there and to havd these people love human traffickers like this books fans are? If the author herself would speak against her fans saying you shouldn’t love them then I guess fair enough but they all have created a safe space to love child r/pists together which is quite odd.

I fear that these people ain’t really saying what they’re recommending to you and nor is the author either since she felt the need to block me after her and her fans somehow found my Instagram story about it about telling people on what this book is about, which is still quite baffling to me cause whats so bad about me telling people what this character does? It’s almost like you do not want me to say it for some reason and I do wonder why. Somehow even telling what the book is about is considered as hate to them and shit talking. All I’m gonna say about that is that if you see me saying exactly what Tryst does as a character and think that is hate, i feel like you need to have a good look at yourself and the character you love so much and think am I wrong for saying what he does or does it finally make you feel sick about loving a p3do and you do not want people to know what you’re promoting.

They say that this is a toxic love story and about the causes of human trafficking and I do not think that is enough said.

(9/7/2025 - this review was made a year ago when the author was tagging the book as a toxic love story/mm romance so no need to comment now that she doesn’t do that anymore. When I made my IG story where I had screenshots of her calling it a mmromance/ toxic love story and criticizing the using of those words by her and her fans, some of her fans followed me and sent it to her which I did in no way intend for her to see, she blocked me, went private and deleted where she used those words and now has stopped. Commenting now that she doesn’t call it a love story right now does not invalidate my review.)
Profile Image for Y.D. Mar.
Author 93 books677 followers
August 27, 2023
Lord help me. Lord help us all.

His name is Tryst.

noun: tryst; plural noun: trysts
a private romantic rendezvous between lovers.


But he wasn't always Tryst. Before the existence of Tryst... He was Trystan.

.. my heart..

... my heart HURTS..

... my heart hurts for Tryst.

... my heart is BLEEDING for Tryst. My heart was decimated for Trystan.

Don't ever forget his name. He'll never let you forget it, anyway.

First off.. this cover. THIS COVER. It ranks up there with my love for Iblis Affliction by Nero Seal. Kudos to whoever made this cover. It barely even scratches the surface of Tryst. (no pun intended)

Many a books have fooled me with their label of "dark" on their books.

<<THIS MY DEAR FRIENDS, IS A PITCH BLACK READ.>>

Books about "psychopaths" who have "no emotions" or "empathy"... you have yet to meet Tryst.
________________________
An unfamiliar tightness clenches my chest and causes me to hold my breath. I wait it out, seeing if it will pass. When it doesn’t, I exhale and rub my chest with my fist. Fucking hell. What is that? Am I having a heart attack? I pace back and forth, shaking out my arms and cracking my neck as I try to focus on something else.
________________________

The author has a talent to drag you into the ALL of the circles of hell... and even through the ones we never knew about. Her style of writing... is perfection. The authenticity can be felt. It felt raw. So raw it still burns after the story is done.

The sins of our fathers. Nature vs nurture. Familial cycles.

It will bring you back. Back to the beginning. There's no escape. There's no closing of the eyes and waiting for it to pass. He's in it. They're in it. WE'RE IN IT WITH THEM. Just breathe... just keep breathing...

Abandonment with the cord still attached.

Together but apart, attached since the womb. When 1 became 2 and 2 got a little too far apart. She was the umbilical cord he held on tightly to. She just didn't know it.

And the collateral. They never had a chance. There was never any hope.

Hold on tight. Don't let go. They held on tight as they could. So tight, THEY should have been attached by 1 umbilical cord ... but it was a tragedy before it started. An end before they were even born.

Time stamps. These little time jumps. The author did it well. It only emphasizes how long it went on. The metamorphosis into ... something. Something more. Something we all feared.

But he stuck. A true RIDE OR DIE.
_______________________
There’s nothing left, anyway. I tried so hard to be what he wanted me to be. I gave him everything I had. My heart, my soul, my fucking blood, sweat, and tears. Every part of me belonged to Tryst. But he would never belong to me. There’s nothing left.
________________________

He should have been the calm to his storm, but instead he was the typhoon that added to his upcoming destruction. Destroying everything in their wake. Becoming so powerful ... a mutiny.

But which road do we seek? the left or the right? or the road already paved?

Libertine.

________________________
No rules, no limits, and no safe words. It was submit or die.
________________________

You love to hate him ... but you hate to love him.

________________________
“W—What happened to you?”

“You left me,” I say. ..... “You made me feel something for you… then you took it away from me. I wanted you. I needed you. I had no choice.”

________________________

The echos of my breaking heart can still be heard miles away, even when the story ended.

Lord help me. My heart hurts .... but my heart also fell in love with Tryst.

Don't ever forget his name. He'll never let you forget it, anyway.
________________________
“Why wasn’t I enough”
________________________

**5 STARS**
Has become one of my top reads this year
Profile Image for misz lei.
247 reviews16 followers
September 4, 2025
Rant Incoming

Oh, so we’re banning books again?

Let me get this straight:

You picked up a book that had every red flag clearly printed in bold, underlined, possibly in neon and you thought,
“Yup, this must be a romance!”

Are we okay???

Let’s review:
🚫 Not a romance
🚫 Not romantic
🚫 Not a tale of healing through love
✅ Literally a front-row seat to trauma, depravity, and soul-splintering horror

And now you’re mad? MAD?! Because the book did exactly what it warned you it would do?

Sweetie, that’s not a book problem.
That’s a you-ignored-the-trigger-warnings-like-a-clown problem.

Tryst is not a swoony anti-hero.
He is a psychopathic product of hell, and his life is one long scream into the void.
And guess what? That’s the POINT.

This story dives into the vile pits of human trafficking, child abuse, sadism, and psychological ruin. It’s fictional, yes, but fiction often reflects the darkest truths of this world and Julie Anne Addicott held up a mirror we all want to look away from.

But instead of appreciating the honesty, you tried to throw the mirror out the window.


To the book banning brigade:
You don’t get to censor hard truths just because they don’t come with a side of romance and happy endings.

This isn’t a love story.
It’s a scar story.
One soaked in blood, pain, and a flicker of humanity that barely survives.

If you want sunshine and kissing, go read a romcom.
Don’t come for a monster’s memoir and then cry when the monster doesn’t get redeemed.


So no, “My Name Is Tryst” isn’t for everyone.
It’s for the brave, the broken, and the ones who can stomach the unbearable.

But banning it?

Now that’s the real horror story.




👑my favorite book of the year👑


“Beautiful, Brutal, Tryst”

When you read dark books,
really dark ones,
you need to know
what you’re walking into.

Especially if you carry wounds
that still twitch when touched.

This book?
You have to check the trigger warnings.

It’s about child sex trafficking.
About abuse in its most brutal form.
It’s horrifying.
A world where innocence is sold
and pain is recycled—
where the abused becomes the abuser.

It doesn’t shy away.
It doesn’t blink.
It drags you in and locks the door behind you.

And I went in.
Eyes open.
Heart unready.

Child abuse has never been a trigger for me.
I’ve read books that went there—
Tillie Cole’s words come to mind,
graphic, honest, even beautiful.
But I didn’t cry.
I could always separate fiction from life.

But this time was different.
This author wrote from the bone.
She didn’t write darkness for darkness’ sake.
She wrote a story.
A real story.
Not imagined horror,
but horror she must’ve walked through
in her mind a thousand times
just to write it right.

The research—
you can feel it.
The care—
you can taste it.

Some scenes made me sick.
Some made me pause.
Some broke something in me.

And yet,
the writing was flawless.
Sharp. Thoughtful.
So heartbreakingly dark
that it left light-shaped scars.

I find myself tearing up even now.
But not the kind of tears that drag you under.
No—these are the kind that say:
You are not who you were before this book.

This isn’t a romance.
There’s nothing soft about it.
But it is a love story.
A pitch-black love story.
A love story buried beneath rot and ruin.

A love story in fucking literature.

Not for the faint of heart.
Not for the casual reader.

But if you read it—
if you truly give it a chance,
whether you love it or don’t—
thank you.
From the deepest part of me.

As for me,
I’ll be rereading this one,
again and again,
until my tears run dry
and my heart
learns how to beat differently.

This book will never leave my shelf.

It’s etched there.
Forever.
Profile Image for warhawke.
1,545 reviews2,232 followers
October 21, 2021
Genre: Horror Suspense
Type: Standalone
POV: First Person - Multiple
Rating:




Right from the beginning, Trystan Browne’s life was headed in the wrong direction. Born in the clasp of evil, he had no choice but to embrace it to survive. His childhood friend Glen Parkes became his anchor, but the obsession with his past could take him on a path of no return.



Let me start by saying this book is not for everyone. If you have any triggers at all, please stay away. I started this blind and knew it's dark but didn’t expect it to be pitch black. The things that happened in this book are deplorable and heartbreaking.

He’s a raging, out of control hurricane, and I’m nothing more than a paper plane caught up in his storm. I cling to him while I wait it out, hoping against hope that there’s something left behind in the aftermath of his destruction.


The story was intense, but at times it felt disjointed. I liked the ending, however I wasn’t fully satisfied with how it got there especially with the decisions made after everything that happened.

What I loved the most about the story is how the readers got to experience it firsthand from various sides of the situation. It helped in understanding the characters’ psyche and the horror they went through.

My Name is Tryst is a story of nature versus nurture. It would appeal to readers looking for a profound horror story.





🔸️➕🔸️. . . (F)BR With Twinsie CC . . .🔸️➕🔸️



For more reviews/interviews/promo visit:



Profile Image for Lindsay Crook.
1,071 reviews37 followers
October 12, 2020
Read the trigger warning.

This is my first time reading this author and holy cow that was epic...I went in blind didn't read the blurb I simply just fell in LOVE with the dramatic cover..This has go in my top reads of the year list..I love LOVE dark reads and this was pitch black..Tryst both broke my heart and disgusted me at the same time..I will definitely be recommending this to anyone that'll listen and reading more of Julie's books..I need Brad and Mav next..
Profile Image for CC.
1,249 reviews729 followers
October 24, 2021
4.5★



Trystan “Tryst” Browne took his first breath in a depraved world and as he matured his existence continued to be cursed. Devoid of morals, Tryst learned to survive in a cruel world but the reminders of violence and abuse would forever be engrained in his mind and body.

“I gave him everything I had. My heart, my soul, my fucking blood, sweat, and tears. Every part of me belonged to Tryst. But he would never belong to me. There’s nothing left.”

From the beginning, this story is bleak and disturbing. As the character development deepens, the psychological toll on Tryst is evident. Vying for acceptance, Tryst sees no boundaries to prove his worthiness. Though Tryst finds one person that calms his soul, he is also aware that his demons will never be quelled.

Due to the theme of this book, the narrative incites anger, despair and sadness. There is also a level of adoration between Tryst and Glen that offers a brief respite to the pain. With passages in the past and present, and the multitude of secondary characters, the plot is quite layered resulting in some points needing more clarification. While there were moments when I hoped circumstances could have been different for Tryst, especially knowing the alternative with another character, Tryst accepted his own monstrous path and that deepened the impact.

My Name is Tryst is an extremely dark story about nature versus nurture. This story would appeal to those seeking a psychologically complicated character in a tragic landscape.


*This was a (F)BR with Twinsie Hawkey!*



For more reviews/reveals/giveaways visit:

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Profile Image for peoniesandmm.
249 reviews1 follower
September 6, 2025
Reread - September 6th, 2025

this book is still as amazing & heartbreaking as the first time i read it, maybe even more now. this book is truly a masterpiece. NOT A ROMANCE!! tryst and glen will have my heart forever.

“This part of me belongs only to Glen, and now more than ever, I want a different life.”

Original read - July 31st, 2024

let me preface this by saying this book is pitch black… it’s deranged, it’s unhinged, it’s scary, it’s heartbreaking, Tryst basically has zero redeeming qualities and is truly a product of his upbringing. please read the trigger warnings, this book had me questioning who i am as a person.

with all that being said this is one of the BEST books i’ve ever read. Julie really take you on a ride with this… this was written so well at some points you do truly feel sorry for Tryst. the toxic girly in me loved the possessiveness with Glen and enjoyed their VERY toxic dynamic, but that’s exactly what it was ✨TOXIC✨.

this is definitely NOT a romance & that ending is INSANE. this book broke me in some ways & made me feel true disgust. this is one of the best books i’ve ever read (i will say it over and over again) and I will keep supporting this author to the fullest extent.
Profile Image for books are a piece of my soul.
117 reviews27 followers
February 25, 2021
It is not often I read a pitch black book that I know will stay it’s me and on my mind for a long time. Reading the horrors in this book is very confronting when you consider for many this life is not fiction. That aside it is a very sad tale of a tragic childhood and the demons that follow Tryst in his life. This is not your normal child abuse story where they move on with their life but one of the cycle of abuse continuing. When the abused becomes the abuser. Very thought provoking, I have not read a book like this before.
Profile Image for Bookish Barbi.
646 reviews41 followers
June 8, 2021
Wow

I will have to come back and do do a proper review once I have processed this Book. This was a lot to handle.

***

So freaking sad, GRs ate my review. I am so sad about it that I don't even want to write it again right now. I'll come back...again...after I write it in word first which I normally do UGH....GGRRRRR

***not as good as the one that got eaten up ...

This was not a romance, this was dark literature. Some Many times I thought we would get a book where Tryst would be redeemed. Where he would “find the light”. But this is not what we get and the truth is some people once they are lost, they are lost forever.

This was about a lost, lonely, little boy that never knew love, not in the “rainbow and roses” way. He knew love as pain, horror and gore. I swear if it weren’t for Glen, Tryst would not have made as far as he did in life (years/age) wise. Glen was the only thing that kept him tethered to this world. So you know what, maybe in his own messed up way he did know love after all.

I applaud the author. LLHW and MNIT are both difficult reads, so emotional, so raw, and yes unfortunately so real. Julie Anne, I just want to hug you and thank you for not being afraid to share Zahra and Tryst’s stories. I want to thank you for not being afraid to go that far out into the darkness.

Does anyone know if Glen has a book? That would be a good one too.

*As always folks, read responsibly….always read the Author notes, warnings, etc. for possible Triggers.
Profile Image for yaishin.
904 reviews117 followers
August 29, 2021
FML I thought I'd seen fucked up, GOD was I wrong. It was a good thing I went in knowing there was going to be some triggering stuff. Imagine starting this one without. It would have seriously broken me not gonna lie.

There was some serious stuff in this one. Like take every type of warning you've come across and just apply it here and it still wouldn't be enough. There was child rape, hate crime, self harm, sadism and a lot of other fucked things but literally nothing was as messed up as that last part when Glen reads the newspaper's graphic description of just what exactly was done to Tryst. *WARNING* He was raped and beaten for almost six months of his staying there and then they killed him by shoving sharp objects up his rectum and choked him with an electric cord. All while he couldn't actually see anything because his head was covered with a sack or something.

And the way Glen begs Tryst asking why he wasn't enough. He truly did give Tryst his all. I truly wish I'd never read this and that I never read something like this in the future.

I loved Maverick and Brad. They were the one good thing shining like a light in all that darkness. Although Glen was my most favorite character in the book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Patricia Nelson.
1,739 reviews20 followers
August 20, 2020
First off, PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE TRIGGER WARNINGS!!! This was one hell of a gritty, gripping, dark, terrifying, horrifying, fascinating, heartbreaking, grab-you-by-the-throat, powerful, bittersweet, and totally awesome book. It shredded my heart, shoved me through an emotional wringer, and then spit me out the other side. If you see a light at the end of this intense tunnel of a tale, RUN!!! It's a freight train guaranteed to mow you down!!!
Profile Image for Vicky Lelove.
124 reviews46 followers
October 12, 2020
Damn.. that was a tough read. Hate is even to nice a word perhaps "abhor" is needed on how I felt about this book. It literally gave me shivers.. How do I rate it? 5 ⭐ for the abhorrent shivers, I have too..
Profile Image for Tania ♡.
143 reviews28 followers
January 31, 2024
« The little boy who lost his way, lets his monster out to play. »

« There’s beauty in brutality if you dare to look ».

I’m— speechless. I will never be the same again after this book.

Profile Image for Obsessive reads.
212 reviews
October 20, 2021
I first read Cali's story 2 months back and Now I'm reading Tryst's story. Lemme tell you this, while reading Carlie's story I was fucking disgusted and I despised Tryst a hella Lottt!! I mean... URGG!!! I felt pure rage and hatred towards him and his FUCKED UP MIND. I thought of killing him brutally, slicing his throat and shoving his **** in his mouth. I was warned, the story is hard, dark and full of depravity and violence yet it conveys a softer side when Maverick comes in it. Tryst is a psychopath and we can see it from the beginning and Glen is just his center. They complement each other. As much as you wanna hate these characters, you won’t but Rob, yah I did. Well, many people might comment that Tryst deserved a chance because since he was a child he was abused and tortured both physically, mentally and in what all ways you can think of. Honestly, yes even I think Trust deserves a second teeny-tiny bit chance because of his circumstances, but not so much too.

I was (and still am) team Carlie. However, this book is so much more than picking sides. It's a glimpse, albeit fictional, of a truly dark undercurrent of our society that NO one dares to speak of. Human trafficking and the devaluation of children by those in power. You can tell simply by the detailed scenes in the story that the author has taken time (and probably sacrificed some of her mental health and soul) to research this topic extensively. Without going into my poor excuse for a psychology background, Julie's take on the creation of Tryst, the monster, was wonderfully executed. It almost reads like a biography of a serial killer.
This story, while centered around the making of a monster, includes glimpses into the many, many lives impacted by human trafficking, particularly those around Tryst's father. The book makes no apologies. It is dark, dirty, leaves questions with no answer, and kept me squirming in my seat as I read. The book is a dark masterpiece that will haunt you for days. Julie Anne Addicott is a master at taking a snapshot of characters and delving deep into their souls. Well done.
Profile Image for Elizabeth.
71 reviews36 followers
September 14, 2021
My name is Tryst - This is the most harrowing story I’ve ever read. To be honest, I’m not sure how I managed to finish it.
🖤This book is super dark so I suggest you take the trigger warning seriously. 🖤It is pitch black with no HEA.

Tryst is a sadistic psychopath that’s been abused and beaten his entire life by his father and his friends. Glen is the only friend Tryst has & soon becomes his lover and the only light in his pitch black life. The story of their abuse and survival is a brutal one. At first you desperately feel sorry for Tryst but when he takes over his fathers role & becomes the abuser and then takes over his fathers child sex trafficking “business” your opinion of him changes. Changes to what though??? I’m still unsure as I still couldn’t hate him at the end even though I wanted to. I desperately wanted to hate him yet I continued to feel sorry for him. His life had been nothing but Hell with his father playing the part of the Devil perfectly. From the day he could walk he was beaten and from the age of 5 he was groomed and moulded for a life of hatred & abuse.
I really felt sorry for Glen he was just an abused & bullied little boy at heart that just wanted to be loved. He followed Tryst to the depths of Hell and back. For everything he had to endure his love & loyalty never wavered.

“If you are a monster, devour me, and I will love you from the inside.”

As I said previously, there is no happy ever after. Tryst will pay for his sins, it’s only right, he has to! Still, I didn’t rejoice when it happened.

We’re not the kind of people who have positive shit happen. We got parents who didn’t give a fuck. Teachers who literally fucked us, and you were tortured and beaten from the time you could walk.” He presses his hands into his eyes. “We don’t get the fairy tale, Tryst. We get the catastrophic tragedy.”

And what a tragedy it was 😔

Afterwards I realised that I should’ve read Carlie’s story 1st. ( Love lost its way ) Although it’s not completely necessary as My Name is Tryst can be read as a stand alone. I think Carlies story has the HEA I seriously need right now though.

Carlie is his sister who was born specifically to be groomed and abused, Tryst is her twin brother that was never wanted and always second best. He was never shown the same love & attention as what Carlie received, albeit sick and twisted love and attention. When Carlie gets rescued Tryst is the one left behind to suffer and endure more horrific abuse.

This book will stay with me for a long time. The author has certainly done her homework for this one. I found parts of it very hard to read so I can’t imagine how she felt doing her research and then writing those scenes. The writing and her ability to tell such a sad story the way she did was amazing. Very thought provoking indeed.
Profile Image for Genevieve.
Author 16 books11 followers
November 17, 2021
I rarely need to start with a ‘read the trigger warnings’ statement. This book, please do. It is beautifully crafted, eye opening and heartbreakingly dark.

There’s not a HEA. Don’t jump in blindly thinking, I read dark, I’ll be fine. This delves into the human psyche of a very deranged main character, and it is a dark read.

Every emotion is ripped from the reader while following Tryst and his psychotic thought process and actions. In my mind, I kept remembering he was also a victim of circumstance.

This is not sweet in any way, shape or form. This is the undercurrent of a society who turns a blind eye to the very real existence world wide of human trafficking. The research was clearly extensive, and well executed.
Profile Image for Gwen.
1,358 reviews4 followers
August 17, 2020
So many emotions after reading this book. I was warned, the story is hard, dark and full of depravity and violence yet it conveys a softer side when Maverick comes in it. Tryst is a psychopath and we can see it from the beginning and Glen is just his center. They complement each other. As much as you wanna hate these characters, you won’t but Rob, yah I did. Child trafficking is a horrendous crime and the fight against it is not strong enough. Child abuse, neglect and violence twists a kids mind and the resulting adult might be a Tryst or a Glen. The book is well written and keeps you riveted and reading non stop.
Profile Image for melissa.
138 reviews12 followers
August 5, 2025
1⭐
His words flow into the back of my mind where I lock them up and throw away the key. Hoping that one day when I need them, I’ll be able to search my memory for this moment and know that once… I was loved.

That one star is for all the boys and girls who suffered in this book, even Trystan, who never got to be a child, but that will never excuse everything he did. Trauma doesn’t give you a free pass to become the kind of person he was. Yes, I get it, he was a product of his environment, but look at Maverick and Carlie: same parents, completely different people thanks to their own experiences. I can empathize with baby Trystan, the one who had no control. I can’t empathize with the version of him after he killed his mom, or the man he became once he had power and chose to keep following his father’s footsteps. (That sick, twisted piece of shit of a father? He got off way too easy. He should’ve suffered so much more.)

I am a murderer with blood-stained hands that learned to kill before I learned about the permanence of death. I am everything my father did to me, and all the things I saw before I understood how the hate of one person could send me on a path to hell.

This isn’t the type of book I like reading. It was disturbing on every level, and I didn’t enjoy a single second of it. Every page made me feel sick, and the only thing that kept me going was the curiosity of wanting to know how this whole mess would end. I was planning on reading Danse Macabre by the same author, but if it’s anything like this one? Yeah, I’ll pass.
Profile Image for Coco.V.
50k reviews123 followers
Want to read
January 12, 2023
🎁 FREE on Amazon today (9/23/2020)! 🎁
Profile Image for Colleen (colleenreads40).
415 reviews15 followers
July 21, 2025
My Name is Tryst is a standalone novel written by Julie Anne Addicott. It's a spinoff of Love Lost Her Way: A tragic story about a girl who lost all hope., but can be read as a standalone. My fellow readers. This is not. A. Romance. I don't even think I'd call this a love story. It's a psychological thriller at it's core. This book and any of it's content shouldn't be romanticized, and frankly, I never want to read this book again. If you'll follow along with my review, I hope you can gain some insight and understand why I'm giving it a five-star rating. This review contains spoilers, so proceed with caution.
I drag the tip of the knife down his chest, leaving a thin trail of blood. I cock my head and watch his face. “Don’t look at me like that, G.”
His brows knit in confusion. “Like what?”
“Like I’m not the fucking monster he taught me to be.”

I beg you to review the content warnings and seriously consider whether or not this book is right for you, and it's totally fine if you decide it's not. It's the darkest piece of fiction I've ever consumed. The following are the content and trigger warnings provided by the author, which can also be found at the beginning of the story:
This fictional novel is not a romance. It contains detailed and graphic scenes including suicide and suicidal dialogue, self-harm, child abuse (sexual, physical, and psychological), child sex trafficking, sadomasochism, torture, violence, drug use, blood play, knife play, non-consensual forced sexual scenes, forced incest, rape, domestic violence, and blood and gore.
There is so much fucking beauty in brutality.
And sometimes, when my grip is a little too tight, and my cuts run a little too deep… and the light slowly fades from his emerald green eyes that always find my own, I find there is beauty in love as well.

I want to separate my review into two parts, so let's talk about the writing first. I've never read anything by Julie Anne Addicott before, but I've been eyeing her work for quite some time now. Her writing is probably some of the best I've ever read. She truly has a gifted way with words. The poetry interspersed throughout the story and at the beginning of each chapter was beautiful. This book contains quite a few time jumps as the story progresses, including flashbacks. These are always tricky to execute, but I think they were absolutely perfect in this context. The suspense Addicott managed to build, especially as we headed into the final section of the book made it hard to put it down at times. I'm so in awe of her writing, and I can't wait to read more from her.

Let's talk about the story itself. This is a hard read. I do not recommend reading it all in one sitting, and I recommend reading it along with something light. I did read this as a buddy-read, which immensely helped with processing the story. Those content warnings? We hit the majority of them within the first ten percent of the story. This book is horrible. As I mentioned, I hate the content and I don't ever want to read it again. It's a commentary on the horrors that come along with human trafficking, as well as generational trauma and the impacts it has on a child. I've never in my life as a reader, had such complicated feelings about a main character. I hate Tryst. He's a monster that makes every other dark/psychological story I've read feel like Disneyland. He's a product of his upbringing and the abuse that was inflicted on him, and I wholeheartedly believe he would've been better off if he hadn't survived the prologue. The pain in this story is that we get the barest glimpses of what him and Glen's life could've looked like if they weren't born into the hell that they were. As Tryst declines throughout the book, the author does an incredible job at drawing us in. The saving grace and the light in this story is the chapters told from Maverick's perspective. The relationship he had with Tryst was unexpected, yet another glimpse into an alternate reality where Tryst and Glen are just two men that love each other without an unending stream of trauma. This book is a hard read. It's going to sit with me for a long time. I don't feel devastation at the loss of Tryst at the end of the story, that was inevitable from the time he drew his first breath in the prologue. I feel a profound sense of sadness for him and Glen and the future they, as well as all the other children affected by Libertine, should've had. The future they deserved. I'm not sure I'll go back and read Carlie's book. She was a pure victim and those last few chapters with her in them were absolutely awful. Pretty sure I skimmed them because I wanted her suffering to end.
“If you are a monster, devour me, and I will love you from the inside.”

This book has changed me, and I'm not sure it's for the better. Please, I beg you to proceed with extreme caution if this is a book you're interested in reading. I think it's going to take some time for the complex emotions I'm feeling to subside, so keep that in mind if you're planning to read either this or Carlie's book. We're looking at Glen's book coming our way in September 2025 and I know I'll be both be excited and dreading it, because where do we even go from here?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for SAV.
218 reviews1,061 followers
June 1, 2025
First of I just want to thank the author for very kindly giving me the opportunity to read this book since it’s close to impossible to find a copy of it atm.
Now onto the actual book. This book was beautiful written and beautifully tragic, it was not what I was expecting and I was pleasantly surprised, I loved how dark it got and the poor characters in this book, I really did sympathize with all the characters, first of, poor Carlie and everything her and her mother had to go through, I also felt really bad for the boys and seeing how their environment impacted their childhood and shaped them into who they were as adults which was absolutely horrible. I also wasn’t expecting the ending however I did enjoy it and did get a little emotional about it too 😪 if this book does get rereleased or you manage to find a second hand copy please please please check the tws because this book was tough and I can see it being too dark for a lot of people as it did have the more extreme dark topics. However I am very excited to read the next book following Carlies story and also exploring more of Julie Anne Addicotts books 🥰
Profile Image for M Will.
962 reviews13 followers
July 26, 2020
Warning - This book is exactly what you fear. Abuse, torture, psychological manipulation and depraved behavior. And every word is mindfully and thoughtfully written by the amazing Julie Anne Addicott. If you have not read Love Lost Her Way, I beseech you to read it first, as the focus of this story has a pivotal role in LLHW, and you will not get the full picture without it.

My Name is Tryst took me on a surprising journey. I knew all about Tryst from LLHW. I hated him, despised his behaviors and frankly wished him ill. I was (and still am) team Carlie. However, this book is so much more than picking sides. It's a glimpse, albeit fictional, of a truly dark undercurrent of our society that NO one dares to speak of. Human trafficking and the devaluation of children by those in power. You can tell simply by the detailed scenes in the story that the author has taken time (and probably sacrificed some of her mental health and soul) to research this topic extensively. Without going into my poor excuse for a psychology background, Julie's take on the creation of Tryst, the monster, was wonderfully executed. It almost reads like a biography of a serial killer.

This story, while centered around the making of a monster, includes glimpses into the many, many lives impacted by human trafficking, particularly those around Tryst's father. The book makes no apologies. It is dark, dirty, leaves questions with no answer, and kept me squirming in my seat as I read. The book is a dark masterpiece that will haunt you for days. Julie Anne Addicott is a master at taking a snapshot of characters and delving deep into their souls. Well done.

Profile Image for kristy ☻.
170 reviews74 followers
February 22, 2021
WARNING: take the trigger warnings very seriously, and don’t read this if you don’t want your heart to be broken.

i went a month without picking up a book, the longest reading break i’ve had in years, and this is the first book i read??? 😭
i don’t have any trigger warnings. so i can handle pretty much anything i read.. but this book is the definition of trigger warnings.

it was disgusting, vile, gritty, dark... but so so so heartbreaking. it’s about a boy that never had a chance. he was abused viciously everyday of his life by multiple people because of his monster of a father.
but he was lucky enough to meet the love of his life as a teenager, that stood by him and loved him when he never experienced it before.
the whole book broke my heart.. but the ending ruined me. i know tryst did many terrible things, but he really never had a chance. 💔💔

this book is going to be on my mind for a long time.
i’m going to bed now, i really hope i don’t have nightmares.
Profile Image for Becky .
114 reviews5 followers
August 24, 2020
Ok...ya know how sometimes you read a trigger warning and then you're like "oh that wasn't even bad" once you read the story? Well that's not the case here. Just whoa! I am pretty sure I ran the full gamut of my emotions with this one. Absolutely raw and heart wrenching and incredible. I cant imagine this was easy to write but this author makes the story so perfectly engrossing it made me want to throw my kindle across the room at the same time as not being able to put it down. I was new to this author but I'll def be searching out more from her.
Profile Image for Kim Lindsay.
237 reviews8 followers
July 26, 2020
Amazing, heartwrenching, traumatic, horrific. Julie Anne Addicott has an amazing way with words.
Profile Image for Varya.
768 reviews100 followers
September 24, 2022
Holy fucking...... WOW.
I mean... seriously. What the FUCKK?! My mind is spinning. 🙎

This book is the type that changes your view of things. That stays with you, makes you think about things you normally wouldn't. This is the type of book everyone should read atleast once in their damn life.

Okay, I'll stop being vague. So here goes :

If an author can make you feel bad FEEL for a pedophilic, human trafficker AND his lover who not only supported him but loved him through it all, I think she's fucking amazing at her job. I bow to you and this book. Tryst and Glen, you got what you deserved at the end, you demented bastards .....but ..I also love you both.

*Me sobbing in a corner cuz the world's upside down and tilted sideways*
Profile Image for R.
2,110 reviews
August 10, 2020
Tryst never had a chance at a normal life. The things that were forced on him and the things he forced on others turned him into a monstrous man. But he was still capable of love, true it was dark, twisted, and scary, but still love. But this definitely isn’t a love story for the faint of heart.

I’m slowly digesting this book. It was so painful to read and I stopped several times and went on to other, lighter books. But it kept drawing me back.

The sad thing is that I believe every part of this book could be real. Every dirty, dark thing was written with absolute certainty and the author had such command over the characters. Very well written book.

I received an arc of this book.
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