The Silence of Snow

by Eileen Merriman

A compelling medical novel about facing one’s demons, self-prescribing and finding the strength to carry on, even when it seems that all is lost.

Anaesthetic Fellow Rory McBride is adrift. Since a routine procedure went horribly wrong, he has been plagued by sleeplessness, flashbacks and escalating panic attacks.

Jodi Waterstone has recently started work as a first-year doctor at the same hospital, and the night shifts, impossible workload and endless hours on duty are taking a toll.

Both are trying to stay in control of their lives, but Rory starts to self-medicate with sleeping pills and sedatives to help him get through the nights... and the days. Before long, the sedatives aren’t enough.

Can Jodi save him from himself?

Genres: Love, Book Club, Contemporary, Fiction

352 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 1, 2020

About the author

Eileen Merriman works full-time as a consultant haematologist at North Shore Hospital. Her writing has appeared in a number of national and international journals and anthologies, including Smokelong Quarterly, The Island Review, Literary Orphans, the Bath Short Story Award Anthology 2015, the Sunday Star-Times, F(r)iction, takahe, Headland and Flash Frontier. Her first novel was Pieces of You, with reviewers calling it 'compulsively readable' and 'compelling, challenging, and heartbreaking'. It was a 2018 Storylines Notable Book and, along with her second novel, it was shortlisted for the NZ Book Awards for Children and Young Adults.

Her other awards include runner-up in the 2018 Sunday Star-Times Short Story Award, third for three consecutive years in the 2014-2016 Sunday Star-Times Short Story Awards, second in the 2015 Bath Flash Fiction Award, commended in the 2015 Bath Short Story Competition, and first place in the 2015 Graeme Lay Short Story Competition.

Reviews

[Tess · Rating 5 out of 5]

I genuinely think this should be essential reading for all young and junior doctors. Harrowing and I have been unable to put it down/stop thinking about it since finishing.

[Hannah Clare · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gripping and visceral - I couldn't put it down. Relatable and rather sobering to read as a soon-to-be junior doctor. Warning, this is not a happy story, but it's brilliantly written.

[Angelique Simonsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nz writer with oodles of talent! I never saw my heart about to break 😭 absolute treasure of a book

[chooksandbooksnz · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Silence of Snow - Eileen Merriman

Ok you have gone and done it now @eileen.merriman you have absolutely destroyed me!! What is life after this book?!

I was sucked in instantly. You could say I fell hard and fast but within a few chapters you start to see the cracks forming and that this book had potential to break me... but it’s too late because I was fully invested, totally immersed, completely swallowed- in everything!

The characters are so easy to love and connect with. You are really hoping the best for them and you feel that whole ‘something is so wrong but it feels so right’ with them.

This book is set in Nelson hospital (3 hours from where I live) and there is a wee bit of travelling around so the local relevance ended up very close to home for me and I loved this! The mention of Karamea and the Heaphy Track was quite special!

This book doesn’t shy away from the pressures of working medicine, PTSD and mental health in general and the strong holds addiction can have on people. It is a stark reminder that no one is immune to addiction. Addiction doesn’t care who you are or what job you do or how educated you are.

As I have mentioned previously- I am not a book crier but this .... 😭😭😭. This is the second book out of 49 books this year I have cried in. Sorry not cried- bawled!!!

If I could put a song to this book it would be Bring Me To Life - Evanescence. I had this stuck in my head for most of the book! (Bit of a flashback there!).

I can’t praise this book enough for how good it was. I don’t feel like 5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ does it proper justice.

How amazing are New Zealand authors??!! 🇳🇿

Note: There are some triggers in this book that I will not list here to avoid spoilers- if you are worried before reading, message me and we can chat.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

So so sad but beautiful writing

[Ruth Reid · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book I couldn’t put down and one of the best I have read. Very confronting. Deals with issues facing junior and hospital doctors. Seeing as she is a medical professional herself I would imagine this is situation is not new to her. A compelling read if not sad

[Carole · Rating 3 out of 5]

This novel explores just how stressful it can be working in a hospital, and how career pressure can drive some to extremes. Jodie makes dramatic life decisions when she falls for a colleague - they make each other happy and on the surface everything looks rosy. But Rory isn't coping well....It's a quick read but very sad so won't be for everyone.

[Katrina]

This was not at all the book I was expecting. I thought it would be a gritty story of a doctor with a drug addiction but it was more like The Young Doctors.

[Claire McCrum · Rating 5 out of 5]

My god this book broke my heart

[Sophie Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best, but also most heartbreaking books. I would highly highly recommend

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

This really galloped along in a very I-need-to-know-what-happens-next-but-I-also-don’t-want-to-know-because-I-do-know-it-will-be-awful type of way.

It really really bothered me how two characters in this book actually say “ILU” out loud to each other which is something I don’t believe that real humans do.

[Olivia Hayfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gobbled this up. Masterful storytelling; the speed at which things unravel for Rory means it’s impossible to put this book down. A medical thriller (sort of) and a deeply touching love story - cannot recommend this highly enough!

[Helen Cummings · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful realistic heartbreaking story. I thoroughly enjoyed this New Zealand novel especially it’s setting and Kiwi references.

[Keeley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely a 4.5 star book. This book was really great with the medical aspect and the discussions around mental health and addiction. It is a heart wrenching novel that I could not put down.

[Chloe Fergusson-Tibble · Rating 5 out of 5]

📚📚📚📚📚REVIEW 📚📚📚📚📚
🐈: FFS I’m having a BATH Mum!
👩🏽‍⚕️: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The Silence of Snow by Dr Eileen Merriman (NZ Author). Eileen is also a haemotologist by day and writer by night.
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This book broke my heart.
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It’s about a junior doctor, Jodi, who is struggling to get into the swing of being a new doctor. She’s tired and stressed and she feels like she keeps messing up. In reality, we as readers are led to understand that she’s just learning.
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Then theres Rory, an Anaesthetic Fellow, who is really struggling after a procedure went wrong while he was in charge of a patient.
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As readers we are led through the themes of love, duty and addiction as they struggle together with their respective roles and set backs. I grew to really love both of the characters, their bookish qualities and their cute love lines. I got super invested and found myself sometimes cheering them on and sometimes saying - no, don’t do that, please don’t do that. While at the same time totally understanding why. It was a journey.
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I love the way Dr Merriman uses her experience as a doctor to bring us a book with the most believable hospital based “story” that I’ve read yet. The blurring of fact/fiction is what got me. I particularly enjoyed the way she delivered the characters thoughts to us when they were saying something completely different out loud. I enjoyed the familiar hospital banter between doctors, the descriptions of patients as frequent flyers, and the familiar sounds of the mental health ward.
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I also got some great tips about how to hold a laparoscope lol and learnt the drug profiles of many common anaesthetic drugs! Bonus!
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A great story - usually I’d only recommend these types of doctory books to people who want to read doctory stories - but this one - is for everyone.
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#catsofbookstagram #bookstagram #maorireviews #penguinnz #nzfiction #nzlit #readnz #nzbooks #silenceofsnow #eileenmerriman

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jodi and Rory meet as doctors in a provincial New Zealand hospital. Jodi is a junior doctor, coping with rotations through the various specialties; with tiredness, her lack of knowledge and a long distance relationship. Rory is 30; an Scottish anaesthetist who has transferred from another hospital. Rory is battling memories of the death of a child in a surgery he was involved in, and while he is still working, is under investigation. He and Jodi fall in love, but she is unaware of his situation, nor of his increasing drug addiction.

Author Eileen Merriman is a doctor in a NZ hospital, so the setting ,the long hours, the interplay between colleagues and the patients they treat all read well and realistic. The novel is a little slow to start, but develops the characters and their relationship, so the reader feels empathy for Jodi's confusion and indecision as she learns more about Rory's life.

I felt quite terrified in parts, as Rory's decision making becomes increasingly poor and he is placed in situations where it is clear he is not coping. There are genuinely sad parts too, and thee are well written and feel authentic.

[Leanne Webster · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book.

It’s really sad. It’s about a junior anaesthetist and a young trainee doctor who form a close friendship over shared frustration caused by overwork, ridiculously long shifts and hideous daily tasks.

Both are tired but can’t sleep and are functioning on adrenaline or autopilot most of the time. It’s scary to know that this is the reality in our health system.

Due to the death of a patient our anaesthetist finds the horror of that day constantly interrupting his daily tasks. It haunts him in his sleep and consumes any moment his mind lets it in.

Unfortunately when you have access to so much medication it’s not that uncommon for overworked doctors to function with “enhancements”.

It’s a sad story about addiction and suffering, pain and love. It’s a good book, cool that’s it’s a NZ author too.

[Katy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rory is an anaesthetist, Jodi is an inexperienced junior doctor. She’s engaged, in a long distance relationship but it’s not working out. J&R get together but R has traumatic experiences in his past and is self medicating to deal with it.

This was an intense book, split in two halves. The first half was an easy romance. The second half was searing and graphic. I didn’t expect the direction it took and it was powerfully written. But I feel like the character/relationship development was rushed along to get to the crux of the story. The trauma and grief and psychological issues were well described though.

[Philippa · Rating 3 out of 5]

While the author writes well, with authentic dialogue and New Zealand (Nelson area) setting, and conveys the hospital medical scene accurately, the characters did not really engage me.
The plot was fairly predictable, and it lacked the emotional impact that I would expect and want from the content. One little annoying thing that tripped me up was the use of "bangs" as in "blonde bangs" - I've never heard anyone in NZ use that term - we say "fringe".
Overall an easy read, and some good insights into the stress our medical professionals are under, but I wanted more depth.

[Kirsten W · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved reading this book; partly because this haematologist is a boss lady, but also because it felt like a very genuine perspective of the struggles and daily life of the characters - who are doctors. There was some good themes around relationships, mental health and grief. It was easy to read and made you feel all sorts of emotions - I was balling my eyes from about 75% and then had to keep reading until the end! Would be interesting to know how people would read this without a hospital context. Be kind to each other.

[Livia Wren · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars: I would've liked a touch more medical/hospital-based content, but appreciate that this was written for a more general audience!

Very well written, and as painful as it was enjoyable. The conflicts of the characters and their difficulties felt real and poignant, and their reactions and distress familiar and believable. This is a painful but accurate portrayal of some of the issues faced in the medical community (anaesthesia particularly) and - from a family of doctors - cut close to the bone.

[Julie Schooler · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a superbly written novel with well-rounded characters. I liked the medical backdrop and the sunny Nelson, New Zealand setting. And I especially liked the love story with the two central, flawed people. It kept me reading and made me want to read more by this author. The only issue I have is that I still have no idea why the title is 'The Silence of Snow'. Recommended but know up front that it is NOT a typical romance novel.

[Jacki van de Schoor · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW. I can't stop thinking about this book.
It was so beautifully written.
I fell in love with this story and all the characters.
I also haven't cried this much reading a book in a long time.
This is one of my favourite books I've read so far this year.
It was incredibly sad and moving. It also gave me a new perspective on what Doctors and other medical staff have to deal with day to day.
I won't be forgetting this book anytime soon.
5 well deserved stars from me. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Sheila Pritchard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Strange to read a book written by my own haematologist! If she ever wanted to give up that job she could surely make a living as an author! This is a gripping read with a rather daunting insight into the lives and stresses of being a junior doctor. I won’t say more in case of spoilers. I’ll definitely read more of Merrimen’s books. I wonder if they are all on medical themes.

[Marcela Velez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another awesome recommendation from a NZ bookstore. I love this book and its two main characters. It was written brilliantly. As soon as I finished it, I said that it reaffirms that New Zealand has many good writers. Be ready to cry but also be ready to believe in love. 5/5⭐️ and one of my favorites

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were parts of this I didn't like, especially the "cases" rather than patients, like the hip in cube le 3 etc. However the doctors felt very real and the suffering of Rory McBride showed the vulnerablity of a doctor. It was sad that he did not seek more help. Jodi is a lovely character and I liked her very much.
I almost gave up reading it but am pleased now that I kept going.

[Johanna Park · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well crafted, gently horrifying story about Rory and Jodi, both doctors at Nelson hospital. Veered a little too closely to a romance novel at times, but ultimately more real, sadly so. A well written New Zealand book.

[Chrysla Fraser · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, this book certainly did not end the way I thought it would, so very sad. A well written book, eye-opening to the mental struggles of some of our most important people in the country. Tears were shed!

[Rowena · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really good Book Club read.
It took a bit of getting used to it being set in New Zealand because it could have been almost anywhere, but I guess it needed a country where medical misadventure can happen without the doctor being sued.

[Kirsti · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book Carl Shuker's "A Mistake" wishes it was.