The Resilient Teen: 10 Key Skills to Bounce Back from Setbacks and Turn Stress into Success

by Sheela Raja

“Well researched and up to date, including the acknowledgement of teens’ struggles with the Covid-19 pandemic.... Belongs on every young adult’s bookshelf.”
— Kirkus Reviews (starred) 10 powerful skills to help you manage stress, bounce back from difficult situations, and rewire your brain for happiness and success! Being a teen today is stressful. That’s why you need real tools to help you cope with all of life’s challenges—from small stressors like homework, social media, and dating to serious trauma resulting from bullying, school shootings, violence, and now—pandemics. The key to dealing with all of these difficult events is resilience —the ability to recover from setbacks or trauma, and forge ahead with emotional strength. The best thing about resilience is that it can be learned. This book will help you learn how to be resilient, so you can weather life’s storms and reach your goals. In The Resilient Teen , psychologist, teen expert, and trauma specialist Sheela Raja offers ten skills grounded in key principles from psychology and neuroscience to help you manage difficult emotions, recover from difficult situations, and cultivate a sense of joy—even in the face of setbacks and modern-day stressors. You’ll learn essential strategies for self-care, how to establish a healthy lifestyle, and how to set limits on technology. You’ll also discover how mindfulness can help you deal with stress and challenging emotions in the moment, tips for building better relationships with family and friends, and tools for dealing with disappointment. Most importantly, this book will show you how to increase your own sense of joy, purpose, and meaning—even when things seem less than awesome.

Genres: Nonfiction, Mental Health

192 pages, Paperback

Published June 1, 2021

About the author

Sheela Raja, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the author of Overcoming Trauma and PTSD, the PTSD Survival Guide for Teens, the Resilient Teen, and the Sexual Trauma Workbook for Teen Girls. She is an Associate Professor at the University of Illinois at Chicago where she teaches Health Communication and Behavioral Medicine and the Director of the UIC College of Dentistry Resilience Center. She received her PhD from the University of Illinois at Chicago and completed internship and post-doctoral training at the National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in Boston, MA.

Dr. Raja has a passion for making evidence-based psychology accessible. Her current research interests include examining the components of effective trauma-informed healthcare. She is a regular contributor to various print and national television media outlets, including the Huffington Post, CNN, HLN and the CBS Chicago morning news.

Reviews

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Since the beginning of the 2020 COVID pandemic, I've been thinking about my students -- former, current, and future -- and wondering how this whole experience will positively and negatively impact them. I've witness students experience new and old struggles this year, so I've made it a point to incorporate social-emotional learning opportunities here and there. But since so much of that relies on training I don't have, I struggle to find resources that I can trust and that provide students with a comprehensive and easy-to-consume format. But Raja's "The Resilient Teen" has filled that gap for me, and has provided me some resources that I can use either in mini-lessons with a whole group of students or one-on-one with students in my classroom.

These ten steps range from healthy habits to coping with trauma. There is truly suggestions for all types of struggles students might face in their early adulthood. I appreciated the discussion of PTSD and trauma in relation to resilience; too often, resilience or "grit" is often tossed at students (most notably students of color) as the "cure-all" for solving their mental health needs and provide them academic success. But with this book, I did not get the sense that resilience was a) a one-and-done process and b) a solution for all of life's issues. Resilience is habit that takes time to develop and practice. It will not solve all of your problems, nor will it make you feel instantly better. But by adapting to this mindset, it can make dealing with life's difficult moments just a bit easier.

For me, this book was more of a reference guide that I could use quickly, thanks to the headers and the consistent formatting of chapters. Raja knows her audience, defining key terms at the beginnings of chapters, using relevant examples, and incorporating narratives from the perspective of teenagers. Each chapter also had a flow chart of sorts that brings readers through a series of questions and thought processes that would help build the skills discussed in each chapter. These skills are difficult for students to grasp at their age, as their brain is not done developing, but Raja makes them more transparent and accessible. I predict I will use this book in the future for some direct instruction (particularly on failure, mistakes, and perspective taking).

[Sharmila Rao · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Resilient Teen is a brilliant handbook for teens, parents, caregivers, educators, coaches ... anyone who works with or cares about young people today. This will be the graduation/bday gift of the year. After what our teens have been through over the past 18 months, this book -- a guide, a resource, a manual if you will -- is invaluable to understanding the myriad of physical, mental, social and emotional challenges (and opportunities) they face and how we as the adults in their lives can support, be aware, and become a part of their learning journey. TBH, it was educational and reinforcing for me as well in my own life! Dr. Raja shares relatable stories/scenarios that resonate, speaks in easy to understand language, provides realistic solutions and ideas to consider, and shares practical strategies (mindfulness, coping, tolerance, connection, communication) to overcome everyday as well as major situations teens (and frankly adults too!) may deal with. Resilience is such a buzz word these days on so many levels, especially coming out of the COVID-19 pandemic. I appreciate how Dr. Raja brings in the purpose, power, and potential of relationships, healthy views of self and others, as well as service and community to build hope, happiness and true resilience -- beginning at a stage of life when these things are often not discussed in relation to each other or taken for granted. Grateful for this gem during a time of overwhelm and uncertainty!

[Kimberly Barnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Resilient Teen, by Nicola MacDonald is a self-help book for teens focused on stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem. This book is written for teenagers however, it is a good read for parents as well. It can assist parents in helping their teens navigate difficult situations and feelings that they will encounter. This book will teach teens 10 key skills to bounce back from setbacks and turn stress into success. Many important skills are covered in this book including: caring for your physical health (sleep, diet, exercise), mindfulness, managing depression, managing anxiety, making healthy choices, and being flexible. These skills are vital for young adults to learn. I highly recommend this book for parents of teenagers, and teenagers.

[Mar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall I found The Resilient Teen to be a worthwhile read.
It was well structured and written in a way that was easy to understand. It definitely kept the target audience in mind and used appropriate language.
The book felt well researched, current and I appreciated the personal examples, as they really helped connect with the text and recognize oneself. There were many passages that had me nod my head in agreement and think: I tell my kids this ALL THE TIME, but they don't listen. However, maybe if an expert told them it might hold more weight? Worth a try!

[Chel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've long believed that if you're resilient, life is much easier to handle. Too much resilience can indicate you're not coping with anything, though. I want my children to be resilient, but have emotions, and I often talk about this with.... anyone! I thought this book tackled the topic really well and the ten steps were helpful and implementable (as much as anything ever is with teens, anyway!) I definitely recommend it to all parents.

[Ziv · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a really good guide to helping you become more resilient and in the process take care of yourself. I have read many books similar to this one and I thought this one is one of the best I have read and I think it would be genuinely helpful for people wanting to make a change in their life. I thought this book was effective and had good strategies and exercises to help make you a more resilient person. I would defiantly recommend this book to someone looking for a book like this.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this at the library yesterday and it verbalized many of the habits that we adults have unknowingly gained through trial and error. I’m hoping to use the skills in a more deliberate way with my kids. There’s a part that discusses cognitive flexibility which the Bluey episode, The Sign, illustrates as well.

[Mel T · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent resource for teens who are struggling and really all teens! The book uses relatable examples, provides practical and easy to follow advice. A good resource for both teens and parents of.

[Katy Lovejoy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had a bad day yesterday