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Summerhill Supers #1
You First
When sort-of-superhero Levon Ludlow meets Jay Jantzen on a bench beside their college quad, he knows he’s met a kindred spirit. Levon can talk to animals, but only animals no one wants to talk to. Jay can manipulate and freeze water, but only thirty-two ounces at a time. They fall in love fast and hard, bonding over their mundane powers and pledging to be content with a small and safe life in Levon’s beloved hometown.
But thirteen years in, Levon knows that small and safe are no longer enough for his partner. Jay’s been on a self-improvement kick, honing and expanding his powers on the sly. And when Jay gets recruited by a super headhunter for a job three thousand miles away, their long-term relationship is tested like never before.
With the dubious advice of some irksome animals—and the help of an unexpected new mentor—Levon tries his hardest to boost his own powers, catch up to Jay, and salvage their bond. But the more he learns about himself, the less clear-cut his choices seem. Can they save their relationship—and if they want different things, should they even try?
An adult comedy-drama from the author of YA novel HOW TO REPAIR A MECHANICAL HEART, this is a bittersweet story about finding love, finding yourself, and fighting for the future you deserve.
But thirteen years in, Levon knows that small and safe are no longer enough for his partner. Jay’s been on a self-improvement kick, honing and expanding his powers on the sly. And when Jay gets recruited by a super headhunter for a job three thousand miles away, their long-term relationship is tested like never before.
With the dubious advice of some irksome animals—and the help of an unexpected new mentor—Levon tries his hardest to boost his own powers, catch up to Jay, and salvage their bond. But the more he learns about himself, the less clear-cut his choices seem. Can they save their relationship—and if they want different things, should they even try?
An adult comedy-drama from the author of YA novel HOW TO REPAIR A MECHANICAL HEART, this is a bittersweet story about finding love, finding yourself, and fighting for the future you deserve.
284 pages, Paperback
First published May 23, 2019
20 people are currently reading
767 people want to read
About the author
J.C. Lillis
7 books237 followersJ.C. Lillis lives in Baltimore with her patient family and a ragtag band of tropical fish, some of which will be dead by the time you read this. She loves thrift store art, dollhouses, koi ponds, retrofuturism, and peanut butter and banana sandwiches. She hates writing bios.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews
May 24, 2019
deeply hilarious in the way of all this author’s works.
irreparably devastating in the way of all this author’s works that remind me of myself.
honestly, if i didn’t know for a fact that JC Lillis is a distinct human being living in another state with a whole existence utterly and comprehensively separate from my own i would begin to suspect i’ve been sleepwriting novels to exorcise my demons.
but that’s not what’s happening, here.
she’s just that good at this shit, dammit.
irreparably devastating in the way of all this author’s works that remind me of myself.
honestly, if i didn’t know for a fact that JC Lillis is a distinct human being living in another state with a whole existence utterly and comprehensively separate from my own i would begin to suspect i’ve been sleepwriting novels to exorcise my demons.
but that’s not what’s happening, here.
she’s just that good at this shit, dammit.
August 28, 2021
uhm… where do i even begin? this book broke my heart, man. i knew that it was going to be a tough read going in, but i didn’t really expect to be crying from page one nn. i don’t think i’ve cried this much during a read since Con Riley’s After Ben (although, to be fair, it doesn’t take much to make me cry these days nn).
both of the MCs in this book are kind, wonderful people. they’re also both very flawed. Jay is… i don’t want to say selfish, because that doesn’t feel entirely true or fair to the character, but there are shades of selfishness in a lot of his behavior. the way he seems to disregard Levon’s boundaries and put his own interests ahead was often infuriating to me during my read, but i was still deeply attached and rooting for him to attain his goals - even at the cost of his relationship with Levon.
Levon, though. oh, man. he’s our POV character for the entirety of the book and is probably the MC i’ve related to most of any i’ve read as of yet. his defeatist attitude, lack of self-esteem, and the constant anxiety and worries over every one of his own actions (as well as Jay’s) are feelings i know well. i know what it feels like to know the connection with your partner is in jeopardy and not knowing how to fix it; i know what that push-and-pull of not wanting to hold someone back but at the time time not wanting to let them go is like. those feelings were so palpable and, for me, extremely relatable throughout the entire novel. i naively thought i could get this read in a single sitting, but i had to take a break between nearly every chapter in order to get myself back together nn.
the ending was tough, but it also felt like the best thing to happen for these characters. but i’m so glad i decided to wait until the sequel came out to read this because i don’t think i could have waited to find out what happens next to these guys ffffff.
there are so many little side-plots and side characters i haven’t even touched on here, but everything was wonderful. every character was wonderful. this book? wonderful.
five stars.
both of the MCs in this book are kind, wonderful people. they’re also both very flawed. Jay is… i don’t want to say selfish, because that doesn’t feel entirely true or fair to the character, but there are shades of selfishness in a lot of his behavior. the way he seems to disregard Levon’s boundaries and put his own interests ahead was often infuriating to me during my read, but i was still deeply attached and rooting for him to attain his goals - even at the cost of his relationship with Levon.
Levon, though. oh, man. he’s our POV character for the entirety of the book and is probably the MC i’ve related to most of any i’ve read as of yet. his defeatist attitude, lack of self-esteem, and the constant anxiety and worries over every one of his own actions (as well as Jay’s) are feelings i know well. i know what it feels like to know the connection with your partner is in jeopardy and not knowing how to fix it; i know what that push-and-pull of not wanting to hold someone back but at the time time not wanting to let them go is like. those feelings were so palpable and, for me, extremely relatable throughout the entire novel. i naively thought i could get this read in a single sitting, but i had to take a break between nearly every chapter in order to get myself back together nn.
the ending was tough, but it also felt like the best thing to happen for these characters. but i’m so glad i decided to wait until the sequel came out to read this because i don’t think i could have waited to find out what happens next to these guys ffffff.
there are so many little side-plots and side characters i haven’t even touched on here, but everything was wonderful. every character was wonderful. this book? wonderful.
five stars.
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June 29, 2020Price drop to $0.99 at Amazon US! 6/29/20
May 1, 2023
I am positively feral right now and will wait to do a proper review until after I've read The Forever Place, but in the meantime HOW CAN THIS HAVE UNDER 50 REVIEWS THAT IS CRIMINAL PLEASE EVERYONE READ THIS BOOK SO I HAVE BUDDIES TO INTERNET CRY WITH!!!!
Update: I tried to write a standalone review for this but I couldn't manage; the (spoiler-free) combined series review is under book 2 here.
Update: I tried to write a standalone review for this but I couldn't manage; the (spoiler-free) combined series review is under book 2 here.
August 16, 2022
you first was one of those rare books where i was actively rooting for the main couple to break-up … and then i still somehow managed to cry when they actually did 🥺
May 23, 2019
A Joyfully Jay review.
4.25 stars
Ok you guys, brace yourselves, because if you are anything like me, this one is probably going to have you tearing up. The blurb describes this book as “bittersweet” and that is definitely the case. While the story does end on a positive note, and I think the guys are in the best place they can possibly be given all their hurdles, it is definitely not a traditional romance happy ending, so be prepared. However, despite the fact that I was pretty much feeling all the feelings after reading this one, I found it an incredibly well written, loving story about two men who are figuring out how to mesh their changing visions of the future.
The thing that Lillis does so well here is allow us to really see things from both Jay and Levon’s perspectives. Even though we are only in Jay’s POV, I really felt like I could understand what both men are dealing with. Levon is a pretty tense, anxious guy. He likes his simple life, he likes his routines, and deviating scares him. He is totally happy living the same life he has always lived, and he is terrified when he starts to see that Jay is changing.
Read Jay’s review in its entirety here.
4.25 stars
Ok you guys, brace yourselves, because if you are anything like me, this one is probably going to have you tearing up. The blurb describes this book as “bittersweet” and that is definitely the case. While the story does end on a positive note, and I think the guys are in the best place they can possibly be given all their hurdles, it is definitely not a traditional romance happy ending, so be prepared. However, despite the fact that I was pretty much feeling all the feelings after reading this one, I found it an incredibly well written, loving story about two men who are figuring out how to mesh their changing visions of the future.
The thing that Lillis does so well here is allow us to really see things from both Jay and Levon’s perspectives. Even though we are only in Jay’s POV, I really felt like I could understand what both men are dealing with. Levon is a pretty tense, anxious guy. He likes his simple life, he likes his routines, and deviating scares him. He is totally happy living the same life he has always lived, and he is terrified when he starts to see that Jay is changing.
Read Jay’s review in its entirety here.
August 21, 2025
How was this little gem hiding in mount tbr???? I loved everything. And I was an emotional mess at the end. So good 😭
August 1, 2021
I think this affected me so much because I’m a total Levon. I’ve grappled with the question of whether my small life with its small pleasures is really okay or am I wasting my one and only shot on this earth. Should I be challenging my comfort zones? Pursuing an exciting career? Traveling the globe? Is my life good or just good enough? And the older I get - as there’s less time for a course correction - it’s become more of a concern. Most of the time I think my life is exactly right for me, but then I panic at the thought that I’ll come to the end and suddenly have regrets when it’s too late.
Then there’s the whole question of how much to alter yourself, or compromise your wants and needs, for your partner. How do I even decide which things I could live without and which I really can't? Where is the line? Is it something small like the dance class I’d hate every minute of? Movies or concerts I don’t like? Or is it a move across country to somewhere I don't want to live? The older I get, the more justified I feel in being selfish. But what would I risk a breakup over?
Even though there’s a “bittersweet” caveat in the blurb, I didn’t find this book to be a downer. There’s humor and romance along the way. But it does take a real honest look at these big life questions. And the sadness involved if you discover that you might be growing apart.
Then there’s the whole question of how much to alter yourself, or compromise your wants and needs, for your partner. How do I even decide which things I could live without and which I really can't? Where is the line? Is it something small like the dance class I’d hate every minute of? Movies or concerts I don’t like? Or is it a move across country to somewhere I don't want to live? The older I get, the more justified I feel in being selfish. But what would I risk a breakup over?
Even though there’s a “bittersweet” caveat in the blurb, I didn’t find this book to be a downer. There’s humor and romance along the way. But it does take a real honest look at these big life questions. And the sadness involved if you discover that you might be growing apart.
February 13, 2024
Slow motion heartbreak.
Two men, alike in fortune;
diff’rent in response.
Two men, alike in fortune;
diff’rent in response.
Read
December 16, 2019So, first of all, I'm not going to rate this, because I don't think I can. Is it a well-written, interesting book? Absolutely. Did I like it? No, not really. But i don't mean it like in the first sense of the word... it's just that I don't think I've ever read a book about characters distancing themselves, about a couple (and a gay one at that) in the process of breaking up, and it was stressing me out. I was Anxiety City, okay?
I think the world building is great (actually wish there was more of it!), the characters are intriguing, as well as the plot. I loved all the flashbacks, think the narration worked perfectly. There were a few things that shook me (uhh not a fan of "open relationships"... Lev OBVIOUSLY hates it too, it's very clear after one of the flashbacks, and yet it feels like Jay is forcing him into threesomes... yikes).
I love J. C. Lillis's writing, but I don't think I can do the sequel. Sorry. :(
I think the world building is great (actually wish there was more of it!), the characters are intriguing, as well as the plot. I loved all the flashbacks, think the narration worked perfectly. There were a few things that shook me (uhh not a fan of "open relationships"... Lev OBVIOUSLY hates it too, it's very clear after one of the flashbacks, and yet it feels like Jay is forcing him into threesomes... yikes).
I love J. C. Lillis's writing, but I don't think I can do the sequel. Sorry. :(
May 4, 2023
Excellent book, check.
Heart broken, check.
*stares anxiously at sequel with promised HEA*
(Honestly, if not for Kathleen's review I think I would have stayed where I was for 2 solid years: stalled out at 40% because I couldn't bear what I knew was coming.)
Heart broken, check.
*stares anxiously at sequel with promised HEA*
(Honestly, if not for Kathleen's review I think I would have stayed where I was for 2 solid years: stalled out at 40% because I couldn't bear what I knew was coming.)
May 23, 2019
Bittersweet is such an inadequate word to describe this novel. Think of it more as a series of little papercuts: not so bad, your brain says…until you start pouring lemon juice on them for a hundred pages or so. Then you’ll be closer to the emotional truth of You First and what it’s like to watch two people who grew up together, now grow apart from each other after thirteen years. Author J.C. Lillis addresses the challenges that Levon Ludlow and Jay Jantzen face when evolution meets stagnation, and the impact those two incompatible forces have on their relationship. Their story questions the desire to change—not for oneself but for someone else—and the effect of lying to yourself and everyone else in the process. The entirety of this story is about coming to terms with the idea of loving someone, yourself included, enough to let them grow, realizing you can either be their anchor or their wings, but you can’t be both.
The fact that the story happens to take place in a world where superheroes and villains exist offers its stark truths and bare emotions a unique place to exist.
Lillis has a creative way of presenting readers with the persistence of love in the face of diminishing hope, and showing that chronic anxiety, a massive inferiority complex, the fear of being left behind, and the desire to be on equal ground with the person he loves can cause a man to strive to be someone he is not meant to be. That Levon and Jay have reached a turning point, or, perhaps breaking point, in their relationship after more than a decade of love and commitment, hurts in all the best ways. That Levon’s real superpower is the gift of his love and care for the little things that make his life in the small town of Summerhill complete, is a hard-earned but ultimately fulfilling lesson. And where things go from here is as uncertain as tomorrow.
Parts of this book wrecked me. The end left me in a crying place, but not in an overwrought and hopeless way. More so in a way that left me with the understanding that two people can love each other so much that they only want the best for each other—even if what’s best for them ends up hurting. You can have all the superpowers in the word and still be overcome by the power of an unselfish love.
What is not made clear in the blurb is that You First is only the beginning of Levon and Jay’s story. This is a gorgeous book, insightful and exceedingly romantic, though in an untraditional way. It broke my heart, and now I wait to see if J.C. Lillis can stitch it back together again.
Reviewed for The Novel Approach
The fact that the story happens to take place in a world where superheroes and villains exist offers its stark truths and bare emotions a unique place to exist.
Lillis has a creative way of presenting readers with the persistence of love in the face of diminishing hope, and showing that chronic anxiety, a massive inferiority complex, the fear of being left behind, and the desire to be on equal ground with the person he loves can cause a man to strive to be someone he is not meant to be. That Levon and Jay have reached a turning point, or, perhaps breaking point, in their relationship after more than a decade of love and commitment, hurts in all the best ways. That Levon’s real superpower is the gift of his love and care for the little things that make his life in the small town of Summerhill complete, is a hard-earned but ultimately fulfilling lesson. And where things go from here is as uncertain as tomorrow.
Parts of this book wrecked me. The end left me in a crying place, but not in an overwrought and hopeless way. More so in a way that left me with the understanding that two people can love each other so much that they only want the best for each other—even if what’s best for them ends up hurting. You can have all the superpowers in the word and still be overcome by the power of an unselfish love.
What is not made clear in the blurb is that You First is only the beginning of Levon and Jay’s story. This is a gorgeous book, insightful and exceedingly romantic, though in an untraditional way. It broke my heart, and now I wait to see if J.C. Lillis can stitch it back together again.
Reviewed for The Novel Approach
June 1, 2019
every time I read one of J.C. Lillis books I find myself questioning what writing GR reviews is about. Stay with me, I'll try to explain. Obviously GR is not where literary criticism comes to play nor are reviews actual critical essays on the merits of one novel or the other - I am talking about mine here so relax if you think yours are those. But I still feel that somehow you want to give an idea of likes and dislikes and at least try to weave those into the narrative value of the work of fiction itself. So my challenge with her books is this:
I love her writing - I do, she is an excellent writer and her stories are achingly lovely and romantic and so very true to life even with elements of supernatural thrown in.
BUT I really dislike her main character(s): let me explain. Levon, same as Brandon, are the polar opposite of me: duh, you say, like first you are a lady and second you are like ancient and I get that and I own it but Levon is a 33 yo introvert ball of anxiety with low self esteem who still cares about what his really super shitty parents think. Brandon - albeit only 18 was the same. And I always felt - as I do in this case - like shaking him and going jesus kid tell them to fuck off and be done with it!
BUT I also think that if Lillis wasn't that great, understated writer that she is - in full control of her box of tools then I wouldn't feel so strongly about her characters flaws. And there's my "big" GR review type dilemma right there: do I focus on the writing? Or do I focus on how *I* feel about the character and his development? And I just don't know!!!
This is a very well written book; it is lovely, heart aching and occasionally hilarious and self deprecating. *I* did not particularly bond with Levon and I found him irritating like hell but *I* also acknowledge that me, the reader, feeling this strong about the character is because its author has drawn him into the most amazing details and that is a very strong plus in my view. I am also delighted to read that there will be more about these two as I really loved Jay and I do hope they both get their heads out of their butts and start looking at how a loving relationship can evolve even when they want different things.
All in all I really enjoyed this book - so much so that I ended up being low key inspired in my art making by it and damn but that's like the most JC Lillis thing ever: I wasn't even thinking about being inspired by the book and yet it got under my skin and came out on canvas nonetheless - and I highly recommend it, I am really looking forward the sequel/epilogue to this story.
In the meantime you all go read it!!
I love her writing - I do, she is an excellent writer and her stories are achingly lovely and romantic and so very true to life even with elements of supernatural thrown in.
BUT I really dislike her main character(s): let me explain. Levon, same as Brandon, are the polar opposite of me: duh, you say, like first you are a lady and second you are like ancient and I get that and I own it but Levon is a 33 yo introvert ball of anxiety with low self esteem who still cares about what his really super shitty parents think. Brandon - albeit only 18 was the same. And I always felt - as I do in this case - like shaking him and going jesus kid tell them to fuck off and be done with it!
BUT I also think that if Lillis wasn't that great, understated writer that she is - in full control of her box of tools then I wouldn't feel so strongly about her characters flaws. And there's my "big" GR review type dilemma right there: do I focus on the writing? Or do I focus on how *I* feel about the character and his development? And I just don't know!!!
This is a very well written book; it is lovely, heart aching and occasionally hilarious and self deprecating. *I* did not particularly bond with Levon and I found him irritating like hell but *I* also acknowledge that me, the reader, feeling this strong about the character is because its author has drawn him into the most amazing details and that is a very strong plus in my view. I am also delighted to read that there will be more about these two as I really loved Jay and I do hope they both get their heads out of their butts and start looking at how a loving relationship can evolve even when they want different things.
All in all I really enjoyed this book - so much so that I ended up being low key inspired in my art making by it and damn but that's like the most JC Lillis thing ever: I wasn't even thinking about being inspired by the book and yet it got under my skin and came out on canvas nonetheless - and I highly recommend it, I am really looking forward the sequel/epilogue to this story.
In the meantime you all go read it!!
June 28, 2023
What a great book. The superhero aspect is really an interesting aspect of the story but takes the backseat to the relationship. This was at times very funny, serious, heartwarming and heartbreaking.
February 21, 2022
เป็นเรื่องที่ควรค่า 5 ดาว จริงๆค่ะ
เป็นหนังสือรักที่ไม่ได้นำเสนอเรื่องการตกหลุมรัก แต่เขียนเกี่ยวกับการเลิกราของคนที่ยังรักกัน คนสองคนที่โตขึ้นความต้องการของชีวิตเปลี่ยนไป ลำพังความรักมันไม่พออีกต่อไป ในเรื่อง Jay เหมือนดาวที่เริ่มส่องแสงช้า แต่พอส่องได้แล้วก็เจิดจ้าจนแสบตา Lee เหมือนกล่องใบเก่าที่ตอนนี้ดาวมันสว่างเกินกว่าจะเก็บไว้ข้างใน จะฝืนไว้ได้แค่ไหน ดาวจะเป็นดาวได้นานขนาดไหนถ้าไม่ได้อยู่บนฟ้าส่องแสงอย่างที่ควรเป็น สุดท้ายเรื่องมันก็คลี่คลายอย่างที่เราคิดว่ามันควรเป็น ถึงจะไม่ถูกใจ แต่ไม่ผิดหวังเลยค่ะ
หนังสือไม่ได้ตั้งใจเขียนให้บีบคั้นอะไรมากนัก มีเล่าปัจจุบันสลับกับความหลังครั้งเริ่มรัก มีความตลกของทั้งสองตัวละครหลักมาแทรกเป็นระยะ อ่านแล้วหัวเราะดังๆ ก็หลายที แต่เราก็รับรู้โทนอารมณ์ที่อยู่ข้างใต้ได้ มันเจ็บแบบซึมลึก น้ำตาไหลไม่รู้ตัว ไหลแบบถี่ๆ ด้วย
อยากแนะนำจริงๆ ค่ะ มันไม่ได้เศร้าแบบหดหู่ จริงๆ คล้ายๆ จะรู้สึกให้ความหวังให้กำลังใจด้วยซ้ำ ออกแนว bittersweet เราว่าคนที่จะอินมากๆ และสนุกไปกับเรื่องนี้เป็นพิเศษน่าจะต้องมีประสบการณ์ชีวิตมาบ้าง หรือมีอายุประมาณนึง เราผ่านช่วงวัยรุ่นมานานมากแล้ว อ่านเรื่องนี้แล้วรู้สึกมันใช่ มันจริง และไม่ค่อยมีคนเขียนเรื่องแบบนี้แล้วเขียนได้ดีขนาดนี้ เป็นอีกเรื่องที่ชอบมากๆ
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Wow Wow Wow. It was like the book just ripped my heart out and stamped on it over and over. The story was heartbreaking. The writing was just breathtaking. I think I have a serious book-hangover.
I don't know how to give a review when a book is this good. I knew I didn't want the book to end because I didn't want to see them part ways but I was also glad that I reached the end because it was hurting too much to keep reading. The book was written with a lighter note to it considering the topic that was really dealt with here and I think that had saved it from being too depressing. It wasn't an easy read and I had to take a break a couple of times but the book still made me chuckle and even laugh out loud at times.
People can grow out of relationships. It happens. 'You First' unfolds the emotional process of falling out of relationship. It was fascinating to read how Jay and Levon getting to know each others, falling in love, building a life together and sadly growing apart as time passed. It ended with a hopeful note though and I really wish there's still a chance for them in the next sequel.
I'd recommend this book to everybody. I love love it. A bittersweet romance that I know will stick with me for a very long time.
เป็นหนังสือรักที่ไม่ได้นำเสนอเรื่องการตกหลุมรัก แต่เขียนเกี่ยวกับการเลิกราของคนที่ยังรักกัน คนสองคนที่โตขึ้นความต้องการของชีวิตเปลี่ยนไป ลำพังความรักมันไม่พออีกต่อไป ในเรื่อง Jay เหมือนดาวที่เริ่มส่องแสงช้า แต่พอส่องได้แล้วก็เจิดจ้าจนแสบตา Lee เหมือนกล่องใบเก่าที่ตอนนี้ดาวมันสว่างเกินกว่าจะเก็บไว้ข้างใน จะฝืนไว้ได้แค่ไหน ดาวจะเป็นดาวได้นานขนาดไหนถ้าไม่ได้อยู่บนฟ้าส่องแสงอย่างที่ควรเป็น สุดท้ายเรื่องมันก็คลี่คลายอย่างที่เราคิดว่ามันควรเป็น ถึงจะไม่ถูกใจ แต่ไม่ผิดหวังเลยค่ะ
หนังสือไม่ได้ตั้งใจเขียนให้บีบคั้นอะไรมากนัก มีเล่าปัจจุบันสลับกับความหลังครั้งเริ่มรัก มีความตลกของทั้งสองตัวละครหลักมาแทรกเป็นระยะ อ่านแล้วหัวเราะดังๆ ก็หลายที แต่เราก็รับรู้โทนอารมณ์ที่อยู่ข้างใต้ได้ มันเจ็บแบบซึมลึก น้ำตาไหลไม่รู้ตัว ไหลแบบถี่ๆ ด้วย
อยากแนะนำจริงๆ ค่ะ มันไม่ได้เศร้าแบบหดหู่ จริงๆ คล้ายๆ จะรู้สึกให้ความหวังให้กำลังใจด้วยซ้ำ ออกแนว bittersweet เราว่าคนที่จะอินมากๆ และสนุกไปกับเรื่องนี้เป็นพิเศษน่าจะต้องมีประสบการณ์ชีวิตมาบ้าง หรือมีอายุประมาณนึง เราผ่านช่วงวัยรุ่นมานานมากแล้ว อ่านเรื่องนี้แล้วรู้สึกมันใช่ มันจริง และไม่ค่อยมีคนเขียนเรื่องแบบนี้แล้วเขียนได้ดีขนาดนี้ เป็นอีกเรื่องที่ชอบมากๆ
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Wow Wow Wow. It was like the book just ripped my heart out and stamped on it over and over. The story was heartbreaking. The writing was just breathtaking. I think I have a serious book-hangover.
I don't know how to give a review when a book is this good. I knew I didn't want the book to end because I didn't want to see them part ways but I was also glad that I reached the end because it was hurting too much to keep reading. The book was written with a lighter note to it considering the topic that was really dealt with here and I think that had saved it from being too depressing. It wasn't an easy read and I had to take a break a couple of times but the book still made me chuckle and even laugh out loud at times.
People can grow out of relationships. It happens. 'You First' unfolds the emotional process of falling out of relationship. It was fascinating to read how Jay and Levon getting to know each others, falling in love, building a life together and sadly growing apart as time passed. It ended with a hopeful note though and I really wish there's still a chance for them in the next sequel.
I'd recommend this book to everybody. I love love it. A bittersweet romance that I know will stick with me for a very long time.
0-own-tbr
May 3, 2019Why didn't I know there was gonna be a new J.C. Lillis novel!!!
December 24, 2024
4.75 stars rounded up tp 5 - the best love story I’ve read in months. love me some loser superheroes with mundane powers.
Told in present-flashback structure, the story follows Levon’s quest to salvage his 13-year relationship with his partner, Jay, intercut with his reminiscences of significant events that defined their connection and ultimately led to their rift.
When they first met and fell in love, Levon was a level-D animal talker who could only communicate with pests, while Jay was a level-D water mover capable of handling less than one litre at a time, and a closeted flyer/certified tree collider. Thirteen years later, as Levon found contentment in their small town life, relishing their weekend gig of performing animal skits for local children, Jay revelled in the growth of his powers, eager for more opportunities to save the world. Should Levon hold onto him or let him go? This is a love story, but also a tale of self-awareness and self-acceptance. Making animal comedy skits is no less meaningful a dream than saving the world. One shouldn’t have to deny one's nature to pursue love.
Never have I read a relationship in crisis → second chance (we’ll get to the second chance part in the sequel) romance with such a wholesome take on navigating relationship turmoil. Despite my usual penchant for more toxic dynamic, I found myself loving every sentence of this story, and that’s saying something about this book and its author.
The author's unique style of writing and characterisation lends an air of breeziness to an otherwise melancholic story, creating an animated movie-like ambience. The whole reading experience felt like an aromatherapy for my eyeballs and my brain. (to the point of making me feel strong enough to face more torture unleashed by Hanya Yanagihara, hehe 🤗)
Told in present-flashback structure, the story follows Levon’s quest to salvage his 13-year relationship with his partner, Jay, intercut with his reminiscences of significant events that defined their connection and ultimately led to their rift.
When they first met and fell in love, Levon was a level-D animal talker who could only communicate with pests, while Jay was a level-D water mover capable of handling less than one litre at a time, and a closeted flyer/certified tree collider. Thirteen years later, as Levon found contentment in their small town life, relishing their weekend gig of performing animal skits for local children, Jay revelled in the growth of his powers, eager for more opportunities to save the world. Should Levon hold onto him or let him go? This is a love story, but also a tale of self-awareness and self-acceptance. Making animal comedy skits is no less meaningful a dream than saving the world. One shouldn’t have to deny one's nature to pursue love.
Never have I read a relationship in crisis → second chance (we’ll get to the second chance part in the sequel) romance with such a wholesome take on navigating relationship turmoil. Despite my usual penchant for more toxic dynamic, I found myself loving every sentence of this story, and that’s saying something about this book and its author.
The author's unique style of writing and characterisation lends an air of breeziness to an otherwise melancholic story, creating an animated movie-like ambience. The whole reading experience felt like an aromatherapy for my eyeballs and my brain. (to the point of making me feel strong enough to face more torture unleashed by Hanya Yanagihara, hehe 🤗)
July 17, 2020
Holy crockpot, that was emotional!
J.C. Lillis is my ultimate favourite author. If she published her shopping list, it'd be an auto-buy.
Such beautifully simple writing and lovably flawed characters, the dialogue is wicked sharp. And, oh-lordy-lord. All. The. Feels!
You First is a superhero story like none other I've read. From start to finish, it had me on edge and ever-so-slightly teary.
Their fight in the rain broke my heart. And the Parsons and Lou thing: That, that got me real good.
If not for Lillis' masterful strokes of humour in all the right places, I'd've been an ugly sobbing mess.
I'm so glad that Levon and Jay's story is not yet over, because I could legit not cope with it ending that way.
(Please don't make me wait too long!)
J.C. Lillis is my ultimate favourite author. If she published her shopping list, it'd be an auto-buy.
Such beautifully simple writing and lovably flawed characters, the dialogue is wicked sharp. And, oh-lordy-lord. All. The. Feels!
You First is a superhero story like none other I've read. From start to finish, it had me on edge and ever-so-slightly teary.
Their fight in the rain broke my heart. And the Parsons and Lou thing: That, that got me real good.
If not for Lillis' masterful strokes of humour in all the right places, I'd've been an ugly sobbing mess.
I'm so glad that Levon and Jay's story is not yet over, because I could legit not cope with it ending that way.
(Please don't make me wait too long!)
July 16, 2020
... it is generally delightful when an alligator makes an obscure 'Waiting for Godot' reference. [loc. 1870]
Jay and Lev have been together for thirteen years. Both have superpowers -- Jay can manipulate water, Lev can talk to animals (though only pests and nuisances) -- but it's Jay who's been working on improving his powers. And Jay who's just been awarded a medal for saving lives during a local flood. And Jay who's now being recruited for a high-powered super-hero job three thousand miles from home.
Lev feels that he's being left behind: but he's never wanted more than the 'the tiny, trivial, thrift-shop music box of a life' that he and Jay have built. He'd like to carry on performing, with Jay, their little magic show in the park. He tries to enhance his own powers, with the help of a mysterious mentor: but that doesn't work out quite as expected. And though the animals he talks to are as full of advice and admonishment as Jay's family and Lev's own mother, Lev isn't ready to simply fall in line with Jay's plans.
On the one hand, I really liked the world-building here: the super-powers visited upon a tiny fraction of the world's teenagers one day in 1960, and inherited by their children; the 'cliche' of naming powered children alliteratively (Jay Jantzen, Levon Ludlow, Audrey Avila); the nihilist chipmunks, philosophical cockroaches and hateful snakes. On the other hand, I found Lev an uncomfortable narrator, because his lack of confidence and constant anxiety were so clearly and vividly written, and so raw. And the tension between Lev and Jay, with attendant arguments and dishonesty, was really painful and upsetting to read.
There is a happy ending of sorts (HFN, in romance parlance) -- and, apparently, a sequel in the works, which I shall need to read in the hope of more resolution ... and also more alligators! -- but for all its lightheartedness and wit, this is an emotionally devastating novel which I wish I'd read at a happier and more stable time
Or perhaps, thinking about it, at a time when I felt less constrained by the state of the world. After all, You First is, in part, a novel about choosing the life you want, the future you deserve ...
December 10, 2019
Well, wow. An ode to the sweetness of knowing who you are, even when it means life may be bittersweet. Mostly sad, but then the ending helped. We have to wait until book two for the HEA. It’s clear the HEA couldn’t happen without this sometimes painful voyage.
It’s not YA, it’s more early 30. There are also lesbians and people of color and perennially anxious people in this book. And that made me happy, especially as it’s set in a small town. And nobody is schmaltzy cute, which is a problem with many small town books, especially with older characters - here people have their dignity.
Lastly, I like that both paths - the path of ambition and the path of staying small - are seen as equal. No path is shamed. Most romances shame one side or the other. This version is a relief.
It’s not YA, it’s more early 30. There are also lesbians and people of color and perennially anxious people in this book. And that made me happy, especially as it’s set in a small town. And nobody is schmaltzy cute, which is a problem with many small town books, especially with older characters - here people have their dignity.
Lastly, I like that both paths - the path of ambition and the path of staying small - are seen as equal. No path is shamed. Most romances shame one side or the other. This version is a relief.
April 29, 2019
Our point-of-view character Levon has anxiety as well as a low-level superpower. His boyfriend Jay is the same level super as him. Jay's naturally kindhearted, but, as Lee fears, is destined for bigger things.
That sounds relatively simple, but Lillis's prose and worldbuilding makes this novel sing. She made me love a narrative structure I usually dislike, weaving current and past chapters into a meaning-filled whole so rich in details that I feel like I was there with them. All the characters are great, animals included. I'll warn you, it ends bittersweetly. But there will absolutely be another book, it says so in the title of the afterword! I will be the first in line to pre-order!
I was given an ARC, this review is my honest reaction to the work: READ IT as soon as you can!
That sounds relatively simple, but Lillis's prose and worldbuilding makes this novel sing. She made me love a narrative structure I usually dislike, weaving current and past chapters into a meaning-filled whole so rich in details that I feel like I was there with them. All the characters are great, animals included. I'll warn you, it ends bittersweetly. But there will absolutely be another book, it says so in the title of the afterword! I will be the first in line to pre-order!
I was given an ARC, this review is my honest reaction to the work: READ IT as soon as you can!
May 28, 2019
The word JC Lillis created in this bittersweet love story is so clever and marvelous. She makes the mundane wise and deeply hilarious. Levon is a wonderful character and he will steal your heart.
May 28, 2019
Quirky, warm, and unabashedly special!
OK, so. J.C. Lillis has been an auto-buy author for me ever since that fateful night when I discovered HOW TO REPAIR A MECHANICAL HEART while searching for... gay vampires, of all things, at midnight. Whether it was a search engine quirk or Amazon's algorithm secretly knowing what I wanted to read better than *I* did, a reading match in heaven was made, and I've loved everything she's put out since.
That said, this may very well be my FAVORITE J.C. Lillis book yet. It's magical, and I don't even mean that in a superhero sense.
To be completely honest, here, I was a TINY bit skeptical about the blurb. Superheroes who can talk to pigeons? I have a very fickle relationship with quirkiness in books... in JUST the right amount, I love it to no end, but get just a LIIITTLE too much in there, and my mind just can't keep up with it. I was a teeny bit concerned, but there was absolutely no need. The idea of low-powered superheroes was.... actually JUST what I needed, and something that I bet a lot of readers will be able to identify with as well. If you've ever had to struggle with being happy for a loved one's success while also coming to terms with your own... smaller successes?, you should be able to identify readily with the main character (and only POV character), Levon.
Since I mentioned it... I LOVE the fact that this is single POV. It's not really a romance novel at all (a love story yes, a ROMANCE, no), but I know a lot of M/M readers like double POVs, and I do too, when it suits the story.... but it really suits THIS story to stay in Levon's head, and to never be quite sure what Jay's thinking.
The narrative voice is wonderful as well.... this is what we need, all of us adults who love YA. It's an adult novel with a YA tone, a book for 30- or 40-somethings who don't really feel any different than we did at 16, and it's perfect for that. It's a lovely story. An ADULT story, with all the difficult feels and shades of grey that involves.... and like all of the author's previous books, it gave me an intense feeling of not being alone, because this author GETS it. She gets aspects of the human condition and modern relationships that should resonate with readers of several generations. I found myself highlighting quite a few lines. (And I almost NEVER highlight things, trust me!)
The worldbuilding is amazing. The voice is amazing. There was literally nothing I disliked about this book. I even loved the pigeons. :)
Finally, as someone who suffers from a lot of the same kind of anxiety-related issues as Levon does, let me say that this book is EXTREMELY well done in that respect.... every time he had to drive across a bridge or something I winced.... but again, there's a sense of comfort in that, in knowing that you're not alone.
And that's really what this is: a comfort read. It's a warm cup of tea (maybe with a splash of Bailey's) and a weighted blanket on a cool autumn night. I will definitely be rereading, and I recommend that everyone join me, stat. <3
OK, so. J.C. Lillis has been an auto-buy author for me ever since that fateful night when I discovered HOW TO REPAIR A MECHANICAL HEART while searching for... gay vampires, of all things, at midnight. Whether it was a search engine quirk or Amazon's algorithm secretly knowing what I wanted to read better than *I* did, a reading match in heaven was made, and I've loved everything she's put out since.
That said, this may very well be my FAVORITE J.C. Lillis book yet. It's magical, and I don't even mean that in a superhero sense.
To be completely honest, here, I was a TINY bit skeptical about the blurb. Superheroes who can talk to pigeons? I have a very fickle relationship with quirkiness in books... in JUST the right amount, I love it to no end, but get just a LIIITTLE too much in there, and my mind just can't keep up with it. I was a teeny bit concerned, but there was absolutely no need. The idea of low-powered superheroes was.... actually JUST what I needed, and something that I bet a lot of readers will be able to identify with as well. If you've ever had to struggle with being happy for a loved one's success while also coming to terms with your own... smaller successes?, you should be able to identify readily with the main character (and only POV character), Levon.
Since I mentioned it... I LOVE the fact that this is single POV. It's not really a romance novel at all (a love story yes, a ROMANCE, no), but I know a lot of M/M readers like double POVs, and I do too, when it suits the story.... but it really suits THIS story to stay in Levon's head, and to never be quite sure what Jay's thinking.
The narrative voice is wonderful as well.... this is what we need, all of us adults who love YA. It's an adult novel with a YA tone, a book for 30- or 40-somethings who don't really feel any different than we did at 16, and it's perfect for that. It's a lovely story. An ADULT story, with all the difficult feels and shades of grey that involves.... and like all of the author's previous books, it gave me an intense feeling of not being alone, because this author GETS it. She gets aspects of the human condition and modern relationships that should resonate with readers of several generations. I found myself highlighting quite a few lines. (And I almost NEVER highlight things, trust me!)
The worldbuilding is amazing. The voice is amazing. There was literally nothing I disliked about this book. I even loved the pigeons. :)
Finally, as someone who suffers from a lot of the same kind of anxiety-related issues as Levon does, let me say that this book is EXTREMELY well done in that respect.... every time he had to drive across a bridge or something I winced.... but again, there's a sense of comfort in that, in knowing that you're not alone.
And that's really what this is: a comfort read. It's a warm cup of tea (maybe with a splash of Bailey's) and a weighted blanket on a cool autumn night. I will definitely be rereading, and I recommend that everyone join me, stat. <3
December 18, 2021
This book is pure heartache. It’s the story of a long-term relationship. And melancholic, funny, heartbreaking flashbacks of the beginning – and the 13 years in between.
If you fall in love at 20 years old with the love of your life, and you move together and build a codependent life, .
This book is sweet and sour. It is also a surprisingly profound, inventive, well-crafted fantasy novel, set in a world where “Norms” and “Supers” live side by side, and the Supers have weird superpowers, and they learn to use them at special schools, and they get job offers because of those superpowers.
The main character and narrator, Lee, has the power of talking with animals. Just some animals, though – and not the ones you usually would dream to talk to. Cockroaches, pigeons, goldfish, deers.
Lee is shy, insecure, and hides behind his habits. The whole book is about .
It’s a coming of age story, a Young Adult in a way – even if for half of the book the two main characters are well into their thirties.
It breaks the readers’ heart, but it’s also a story worth reading. Lee’s thoughts are poetical, sometimes cynical, often comical. Some of the side characters have significants back stories of their own, and that's always a good thing.
Lillis has published a few weeks ago the long-awaited sequel of this book. I'm looking forward to go back to Lee and Jay and their alternative universe.
Favorite quotes:
Pride flowing from me to him makes us feel distanced, like I’m holding the string of a golden balloon and he’s floating inside it, high in the sky, waving at me in a happy haze. (page 8)
There’s a certain humor you cultivate when you’re universally despised and yet doomed to endure. (page 20)
Experience, intuition, and my mother’s resigned looks had taught me I would never be anything special, in the superworld or otherwise. (page 24)
I kiss his cheek like a friend who wants to be more. I kiss his nose like we’re new lovers waking up. I kiss his mouth like we’re us, the same us we’ve always been, two doofs weaving a magic bond made of equal parts comfort and hunger. (page 33)
I smiled back, my muscles unclenching. I’m good with whoever you are. No one had ever said that to me, and I hadn’t realized how much I’d been missing it. (page 53)
“Let’s come back here sometime,” I said. “Let’s come back here a lot of times,” he said. We shook hands to seal the promise, and in the silent church of the Wishpenny woods, it felt unbreakable. (page 56)
“So let’s not be distracted anymore,” I say. “Okay,” he says, distractedly. (page 58)
I do not fully commit my butt to the butt-shaped depression in the seat. (page 63)
This is easy for him. He can shrug off his feelings, disappear into a moment. I never could. My feelings aren’t just on my sleeve, they’re on me head to toe, like full-body chainmail made of raw nerves. (page 66)
His skin was warm but felt thin and delicate, and I had a fleeting jolt of concern: this is not sufficient protection from the world. (page 86)
Jay did things for me, too, but I don’t like to remember that, because at the time I’d thought I’m not good enough to deserve this much good. (page 87)
this moment felt too precarious for honesty. (page 88)
My mother left the church back in the eighties after that “don’t use your powers because you’re not God” encyclical directed at supers, but she’s one of those casually spiritual people who addresses the heavens as if God were a dear friend with irritating habits. (page 94)
“I would never trap him.” “Not on purpose, no. He’d do it to himself, because he loves you. He’d say no to things that could make him bigger and bigger. He’d make himself small for you. Shrink himself down to fit your little box.” (page 98)
He was pushing me out of my comfort zone, but my comfort zone was so ridiculously narrow that maybe I deserved a shove. (page 101)
until a few months ago I thought we were in the gentle business of wasting ourselves together. (page 107)
“I’m applying for a job I’m completely unqualified for.” She gives me an eyebrow. “You’re white, male, and super. Chances are you’ll get it anyway.” (page 119)
“On this day, the twenty-ninth of June,” he said, “we promise to each other and proclaim to the world that this life, and this house, and our love, are all we need.” (page 125)
“Hey,” he says. “Hi there,” I say. We’ve been superficially nice since yesterday. Just nice enough that we can’t call bullshit on each other without mutual accusations of hypersensitivity. You don’t make it to thirteen years without learning some shitty games along the way. (page 131)
“Look, I don’t have time to make you feel better right now.” “No one’s asking you to.” “But you’re gonna leave like this, acting all weird, and then I’ll feel like crap, and I’ll have to pretend I don’t.” (page 131)
It’s deeply silly to say this, but the Wishpenny shows are when I feel most comfortable in my skin, like my powers are small for a specific reason and not because my dad’s genes fucked me over. (page 134)
Favorite animal?” “Uh...” “Quickly now. Don’t think.” “Swans.” “Hm. They’re not very friendly.” “But they mate for life.” “You’ve never actually spoken to one, have you?” “No,” I admit. “Most of them are restless. It’s misplaced loyalty and inborn stubbornness that keeps them together.” (page 195)
“I guess I don’t like saying goodbye to characters once I get to know them,” I tell her, aware I’m giftwrapping part of myself in a metaphor and handing it over to her. (page 209)
When I bend down to straighten our copy of Two Boys Kissing, I realize I’m smiling. (page 249)
I don’t want to be the person who tamps down the brightness in his voice (page 250)
You guys were like, fetuses when you got together. Tone and I were too. And that’s not always bad or anything, but sometimes...it’s hard to get to know yourself when you’ve basically grown up with someone else.” (page 259)
If you fall in love at 20 years old with the love of your life, and you move together and build a codependent life, .
This book is sweet and sour. It is also a surprisingly profound, inventive, well-crafted fantasy novel, set in a world where “Norms” and “Supers” live side by side, and the Supers have weird superpowers, and they learn to use them at special schools, and they get job offers because of those superpowers.
The main character and narrator, Lee, has the power of talking with animals. Just some animals, though – and not the ones you usually would dream to talk to. Cockroaches, pigeons, goldfish, deers.
Lee is shy, insecure, and hides behind his habits. The whole book is about .
It’s a coming of age story, a Young Adult in a way – even if for half of the book the two main characters are well into their thirties.
It breaks the readers’ heart, but it’s also a story worth reading. Lee’s thoughts are poetical, sometimes cynical, often comical. Some of the side characters have significants back stories of their own, and that's always a good thing.
Lillis has published a few weeks ago the long-awaited sequel of this book. I'm looking forward to go back to Lee and Jay and their alternative universe.
Favorite quotes:
Pride flowing from me to him makes us feel distanced, like I’m holding the string of a golden balloon and he’s floating inside it, high in the sky, waving at me in a happy haze. (page 8)
There’s a certain humor you cultivate when you’re universally despised and yet doomed to endure. (page 20)
Experience, intuition, and my mother’s resigned looks had taught me I would never be anything special, in the superworld or otherwise. (page 24)
I kiss his cheek like a friend who wants to be more. I kiss his nose like we’re new lovers waking up. I kiss his mouth like we’re us, the same us we’ve always been, two doofs weaving a magic bond made of equal parts comfort and hunger. (page 33)
I smiled back, my muscles unclenching. I’m good with whoever you are. No one had ever said that to me, and I hadn’t realized how much I’d been missing it. (page 53)
“Let’s come back here sometime,” I said. “Let’s come back here a lot of times,” he said. We shook hands to seal the promise, and in the silent church of the Wishpenny woods, it felt unbreakable. (page 56)
“So let’s not be distracted anymore,” I say. “Okay,” he says, distractedly. (page 58)
I do not fully commit my butt to the butt-shaped depression in the seat. (page 63)
This is easy for him. He can shrug off his feelings, disappear into a moment. I never could. My feelings aren’t just on my sleeve, they’re on me head to toe, like full-body chainmail made of raw nerves. (page 66)
His skin was warm but felt thin and delicate, and I had a fleeting jolt of concern: this is not sufficient protection from the world. (page 86)
Jay did things for me, too, but I don’t like to remember that, because at the time I’d thought I’m not good enough to deserve this much good. (page 87)
this moment felt too precarious for honesty. (page 88)
My mother left the church back in the eighties after that “don’t use your powers because you’re not God” encyclical directed at supers, but she’s one of those casually spiritual people who addresses the heavens as if God were a dear friend with irritating habits. (page 94)
“I would never trap him.” “Not on purpose, no. He’d do it to himself, because he loves you. He’d say no to things that could make him bigger and bigger. He’d make himself small for you. Shrink himself down to fit your little box.” (page 98)
He was pushing me out of my comfort zone, but my comfort zone was so ridiculously narrow that maybe I deserved a shove. (page 101)
until a few months ago I thought we were in the gentle business of wasting ourselves together. (page 107)
“I’m applying for a job I’m completely unqualified for.” She gives me an eyebrow. “You’re white, male, and super. Chances are you’ll get it anyway.” (page 119)
“On this day, the twenty-ninth of June,” he said, “we promise to each other and proclaim to the world that this life, and this house, and our love, are all we need.” (page 125)
“Hey,” he says. “Hi there,” I say. We’ve been superficially nice since yesterday. Just nice enough that we can’t call bullshit on each other without mutual accusations of hypersensitivity. You don’t make it to thirteen years without learning some shitty games along the way. (page 131)
“Look, I don’t have time to make you feel better right now.” “No one’s asking you to.” “But you’re gonna leave like this, acting all weird, and then I’ll feel like crap, and I’ll have to pretend I don’t.” (page 131)
It’s deeply silly to say this, but the Wishpenny shows are when I feel most comfortable in my skin, like my powers are small for a specific reason and not because my dad’s genes fucked me over. (page 134)
Favorite animal?” “Uh...” “Quickly now. Don’t think.” “Swans.” “Hm. They’re not very friendly.” “But they mate for life.” “You’ve never actually spoken to one, have you?” “No,” I admit. “Most of them are restless. It’s misplaced loyalty and inborn stubbornness that keeps them together.” (page 195)
“I guess I don’t like saying goodbye to characters once I get to know them,” I tell her, aware I’m giftwrapping part of myself in a metaphor and handing it over to her. (page 209)
When I bend down to straighten our copy of Two Boys Kissing, I realize I’m smiling. (page 249)
I don’t want to be the person who tamps down the brightness in his voice (page 250)
You guys were like, fetuses when you got together. Tone and I were too. And that’s not always bad or anything, but sometimes...it’s hard to get to know yourself when you’ve basically grown up with someone else.” (page 259)
June 11, 2019
Oh man, I don’t even know what to say about this. JC Lillis creates the most low key yet spectacular worlds, where everything is so embedded and normal you just accept the rules of the universe and get swept along. In the Mechanical Heart books it’s the TV show and fandom you can feel yourself being obsessed with without seeing a single second and the unerring certainty that the Sour Grapes Cabaret just exists somewhere, it’s too real not to, and here it’s that yes sure superheroes are amongst us and some of their superpowers are banally monetised into jobs in flood reallocation and rat relocation.
The details here are never anything short of delightful, especially when Levon is talking to animals. Of course if pigeons could talk they’d be like old ladies at the bus stop, wise and peckish with it and a bit intrusive but there when you need them, and of course snakes are misanthropist and cockroaches are philosophical. And of course Jay would have an ex who’d show up to try and bait him into being nemesises.
The characters who inhabit these worlds and have these skills are so suited to them, it feels like the world and the characters are in perfect synch, so in some ways it doesn’t feel like there’s a plot, more like you’re peeking through the window into someone’s life. When reading this I couldn’t help feeling how remiss I’d been to never consider what it would be like to date an actual superhero, how you’d struggle with feelings of holding them back and resentment and be broken hearted that the life you’d built wasn’t enough for them. And that’s what makes Levon’s story so relatable, you feel along with him as Jay steps away from him. He’s stepping away from us too, from the affection we’ve built for the town as Levon sees it, from their cosy life.
And also I can’t not mention CC and Lynette. I need a million pages about CC and Lynette. Give me all the lost lady love reunions in the world, always.
I really loved this. JC Lillis has this way of sucking you into something that feels whimsical and then just dropping these lines of such utter profound truth, peppering real sadness with hope, doling out casual wisdom about anxiety and trauma and loss. Very glad to hear there’ll be a sequel.
The details here are never anything short of delightful, especially when Levon is talking to animals. Of course if pigeons could talk they’d be like old ladies at the bus stop, wise and peckish with it and a bit intrusive but there when you need them, and of course snakes are misanthropist and cockroaches are philosophical. And of course Jay would have an ex who’d show up to try and bait him into being nemesises.
The characters who inhabit these worlds and have these skills are so suited to them, it feels like the world and the characters are in perfect synch, so in some ways it doesn’t feel like there’s a plot, more like you’re peeking through the window into someone’s life. When reading this I couldn’t help feeling how remiss I’d been to never consider what it would be like to date an actual superhero, how you’d struggle with feelings of holding them back and resentment and be broken hearted that the life you’d built wasn’t enough for them. And that’s what makes Levon’s story so relatable, you feel along with him as Jay steps away from him. He’s stepping away from us too, from the affection we’ve built for the town as Levon sees it, from their cosy life.
And also I can’t not mention CC and Lynette. I need a million pages about CC and Lynette. Give me all the lost lady love reunions in the world, always.
I really loved this. JC Lillis has this way of sucking you into something that feels whimsical and then just dropping these lines of such utter profound truth, peppering real sadness with hope, doling out casual wisdom about anxiety and trauma and loss. Very glad to hear there’ll be a sequel.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 15, 2021
Ok, so I will start of by saying, I did not expect this book to hit me this hard. I legit had to fight tears. Several times! The impact. The humanity. I'd say this book was a sympathy of these elements and more. I don't even know where to begin.
I suppose the description can speak for itself, but I was not ready for the impact of what this would do to me. I am real sucker for a book that can make me feel things, and this book ready did that!
I will admit, the beginning did not impress me too much. Some parts were a little hard to follow, but I believe that was the charm, who the main character Levon IS. There were plenty of quirky moments and plenty of pop culture references.
This is nowhere near your typical superhero story. This was a very HUMAN story. Not the simple matter of finding yourself, but of being true to yourself. It's easy to meet someone and let yourself become lost. The world isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Change hurts, but that doesn't mean you should fall into despair. Embrace it. Most of all, embrace yourself.
There's so much self empowerment, on such a realistic level. I can't help but sit back and marvel at how well done this came out. Astounding. Layered but not overwhelming with them. Tear-jerking. Laugh out loud. Feel-Good. Insecurities. All of these are very HUMAN. The superhuman thing was just the cherry on top.
Nothing has to be so cut and dry. This book, truly, it's unique and stands out from everything I've read this year so far. I will treasure it.
I suppose the description can speak for itself, but I was not ready for the impact of what this would do to me. I am real sucker for a book that can make me feel things, and this book ready did that!
I will admit, the beginning did not impress me too much. Some parts were a little hard to follow, but I believe that was the charm, who the main character Levon IS. There were plenty of quirky moments and plenty of pop culture references.
This is nowhere near your typical superhero story. This was a very HUMAN story. Not the simple matter of finding yourself, but of being true to yourself. It's easy to meet someone and let yourself become lost. The world isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Change hurts, but that doesn't mean you should fall into despair. Embrace it. Most of all, embrace yourself.
There's so much self empowerment, on such a realistic level. I can't help but sit back and marvel at how well done this came out. Astounding. Layered but not overwhelming with them. Tear-jerking. Laugh out loud. Feel-Good. Insecurities. All of these are very HUMAN. The superhuman thing was just the cherry on top.
Nothing has to be so cut and dry. This book, truly, it's unique and stands out from everything I've read this year so far. I will treasure it.
December 14, 2020
This is not terrible. That's the best I can say for it. It is not just whimsical, it is downright twee. I can't handle this much whimsy.
The huge trend in YA to write mc's who are beset with crippling anxiety even though they are awesome and beloved has truly worn me out. Maybe we could read about someone who is confident in themselves for a change.
The editor has allowed the author to tell a story of a couple breaking up and then intersperse that with bits and pieces of their backstory, which tells how they got together. The brief material describing their initial romance is charming and wonderful. Everything else is morose, talky navel-gazing and not too interesting to read.
The protagonist is a passive fellow and that generally makes for dull reading. This is mostly about his introspection about his life and his loves...friends, family, and lovers. I guess the hook or the high concept here is that the characters are also superheroes, but their superpowers are actually almost completely irrelevant to the narrative, so that becomes just one more punchline to the cutesy general jokiness of the novel.
In the afterword, the author promises us a sequel. No prospect entices me less.
This author wrote a wonderful book called "How to Repair a Mechanical Heart". This is the fourth of her books that I have read, and I can only recommend that one...but I highly recommend it. It is a great romantic comedy. But don't read this one!
The huge trend in YA to write mc's who are beset with crippling anxiety even though they are awesome and beloved has truly worn me out. Maybe we could read about someone who is confident in themselves for a change.
The editor has allowed the author to tell a story of a couple breaking up and then intersperse that with bits and pieces of their backstory, which tells how they got together. The brief material describing their initial romance is charming and wonderful. Everything else is morose, talky navel-gazing and not too interesting to read.
The protagonist is a passive fellow and that generally makes for dull reading. This is mostly about his introspection about his life and his loves...friends, family, and lovers. I guess the hook or the high concept here is that the characters are also superheroes, but their superpowers are actually almost completely irrelevant to the narrative, so that becomes just one more punchline to the cutesy general jokiness of the novel.
In the afterword, the author promises us a sequel. No prospect entices me less.
This author wrote a wonderful book called "How to Repair a Mechanical Heart". This is the fourth of her books that I have read, and I can only recommend that one...but I highly recommend it. It is a great romantic comedy. But don't read this one!
July 3, 2020
Emotional trauma at the hands of an ebook
I don’t know what exactly I was expecting from this book, but I don’t think two straight hours of sobbing was it. Don’t let that put you off, it’s incredible! But anyone who struggles with their self-worth or insecurities, or who finds the world just a bit too much to deal with sometimes, this one is going to hit you hard.
It’s beautifully written, obviously. There’s some humour in there, especially pigeon-related, and while I don’t usually find it easy to get into romances which have already been long-established, the past and present sections give a good picture of how the relationship evolved. That being said, it ripped my heart out.
Seriously, read it, it’s amazing. But be prepared for the possibility that you will want to crawl into a duvet nest and weep for several days afterwards. God I hope the next one comes out soon.
I don’t know what exactly I was expecting from this book, but I don’t think two straight hours of sobbing was it. Don’t let that put you off, it’s incredible! But anyone who struggles with their self-worth or insecurities, or who finds the world just a bit too much to deal with sometimes, this one is going to hit you hard.
It’s beautifully written, obviously. There’s some humour in there, especially pigeon-related, and while I don’t usually find it easy to get into romances which have already been long-established, the past and present sections give a good picture of how the relationship evolved. That being said, it ripped my heart out.
Seriously, read it, it’s amazing. But be prepared for the possibility that you will want to crawl into a duvet nest and weep for several days afterwards. God I hope the next one comes out soon.
January 5, 2020
4.5 stars? Because. Ouch. This is not a romance, it is a love story though.
I don't know how to rate this. I loved it and I hated it. The writing is gorgeous, the characters, especially Levon, are wonderful and complex, and real. But all of that makes it hurt even more. I wish I knew people this selfless; I wish I could be this selfless. It's a beautiful love story, but it is more about finding the love you need to have for yourself, than about the love he and Jay have for each other. Levon is still working on finding that. I hope Jay is too.
I am dying for the second book, and I can't find any release information, aaaarrrrgggghhhhh! I am sure she will release the book, I'll just have to keep hoping for soon.
Beautiful, but thought provoking and heart wrenching. I kind of wish I'd waited for the second book to be released, but I'll enjoy re-reading this when it is.
I don't know how to rate this. I loved it and I hated it. The writing is gorgeous, the characters, especially Levon, are wonderful and complex, and real. But all of that makes it hurt even more. I wish I knew people this selfless; I wish I could be this selfless. It's a beautiful love story, but it is more about finding the love you need to have for yourself, than about the love he and Jay have for each other. Levon is still working on finding that. I hope Jay is too.
I am dying for the second book, and I can't find any release information, aaaarrrrgggghhhhh! I am sure she will release the book, I'll just have to keep hoping for soon.
Beautiful, but thought provoking and heart wrenching. I kind of wish I'd waited for the second book to be released, but I'll enjoy re-reading this when it is.
June 20, 2020
I ate this book up and went to stare at the ceiling.
There was so much packed into this book. You had the comedic moments and the emotional moments and moments that made you think. About life, relationships, yourself.
Levon and Jay have been together for 13 years and now Jay is starting to wonder whereas Levon is content. He thought he was happy.
The chapters go back and forth between now and then, giving you information about the relationship. It’s from Levon’s POV and you can feel his confusion. The author takes you on a ride that makes you think of yourself when Levon questions the strength of his relationship with Jay.
And this is all without mentioning the super powers. Which are awesome and add that much more depth to the story.
*warning* ends on a cliffhanger. The author is working on the sequel.
Go forth and read!
There was so much packed into this book. You had the comedic moments and the emotional moments and moments that made you think. About life, relationships, yourself.
Levon and Jay have been together for 13 years and now Jay is starting to wonder whereas Levon is content. He thought he was happy.
The chapters go back and forth between now and then, giving you information about the relationship. It’s from Levon’s POV and you can feel his confusion. The author takes you on a ride that makes you think of yourself when Levon questions the strength of his relationship with Jay.
And this is all without mentioning the super powers. Which are awesome and add that much more depth to the story.
*warning* ends on a cliffhanger. The author is working on the sequel.
Go forth and read!
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