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I Love You So Much, I Hate You
What do work and love have in common? They can both take over your life… Saori Fujimura and her boss, Ayako Asano, are an unbeatable duo at work, but after hours their relationship is more than just professional. As tensions mount between Ayako and her husband and Saori’s feelings grow stronger, they’ll have to decide—is it love they seek, or merely pleasure?
210 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 18, 2020
24 people are currently reading
948 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 122 reviews
July 3, 2023
Mega urocze, komfortowe, feministyczne i wlw 👩❤️💋👩
June 25, 2023
Jakie to było słodkie (i pikantne hihi)
September 18, 2020
Actual rating 3.5 stars
Ayano and Fujimura are a manager and subordinate at a Japanese firm that does ... business - it's never specified, despite the amount of time we spend in the workplace. Ayano feels trapped in a loveless marriage and Fujimura has a habit of falling for older, unattainable women. And while the pair can't actually be together (they think), that doesn't stop them from frequently meeting up for drinks and sex.
Just based off of the synopsis of the story, I knew going in that there were going to be some morally questionable things going into it, but I overall felt it was handled really well and very realistically. No one is perfect and people are very multi-faceted and I think the two main characters portrayed that very well.
Ayano is feeling very miserable in her marriage, not only from her husband but from family and societal expectations of what a woman in a heterosexual marriage is "supposed" to do. And once she discovered her husband is having an affair, feelings of revenge begin to boil up in her. So, one night, when Fujimura presents the opportunity of sex, Ayano takes it, and thus begins their affair.
I thought the sex scenes in this were done well. There is an explicit warning for this which I think is a little much. Like, there are sex scenes but they are edited in a way that never shows anything graphic. Like, I have definitely seen more graphic things in manga that don't have the same level of explicit warnings as this one does.
Because the story starts in the middle of their affair, I feel like we get a little shorted on character development - especially them as individual people. We don't really get to know what the women are like outside of their relationship. There's a whole romantic history of Fujimura that is barely touched on. And we don't really get to see conversation between them outside of sexy talk and talk about work. It's a bit difficult to get fully on board with this casual affair developing into a romance when all they talk about is work and sex. Like do they like each other? What do they like to do together outside of work and sex?
There are also a few plotlines that are presented but never really shown and are just kind of left without a conclusion. Ayano and her husband are both having affairs and losing love between each other and that builds and builds throughout the story but is never addressed? We just get the end, the resolution, without the climax. I wish there had been a scene of them talking about it, addressing it, their affairs being exposed, something! There were no consequences in this story for anyone's affair. Them having an affair was such a problem for our main characters - they were so anxious about people finding out - for the majority of the story, just for it to be handled offscreen was annoying.
Also, there was another office romance/affair in the story that was discovered by the workplace and the way it blew up withing the workforce, enough for one of the individuals in the affair to quit working there, but there is never even the thought of what might happen to Ayano and Fujimura if their romance is discovered by the workplace.
I just felt like this manga has a lot of opportunities to discuss what it's like to be a female lesbian in the Japanese workplace, and it just didn't. It had a lot of opportunities to discuss the familial and societal expectations of women in Japan, and it touched on it lightly but didn't do much with it aside from hinting that it's there.
I am very happy to have a non-school based yuri story. I feel like most of them take place in school. I loved seeing adult women in their late twenties and thirties still discovering and exploring their sexuality and still finding love at an older age. I loved seeing mature, consensual portrayals of sex. And I still enjoyed the story. It was still a fun read, even if it didn't do as much as I would have hoped it would.
Ayano and Fujimura are a manager and subordinate at a Japanese firm that does ... business - it's never specified, despite the amount of time we spend in the workplace. Ayano feels trapped in a loveless marriage and Fujimura has a habit of falling for older, unattainable women. And while the pair can't actually be together (they think), that doesn't stop them from frequently meeting up for drinks and sex.
Just based off of the synopsis of the story, I knew going in that there were going to be some morally questionable things going into it, but I overall felt it was handled really well and very realistically. No one is perfect and people are very multi-faceted and I think the two main characters portrayed that very well.
Ayano is feeling very miserable in her marriage, not only from her husband but from family and societal expectations of what a woman in a heterosexual marriage is "supposed" to do. And once she discovered her husband is having an affair, feelings of revenge begin to boil up in her. So, one night, when Fujimura presents the opportunity of sex, Ayano takes it, and thus begins their affair.
I thought the sex scenes in this were done well. There is an explicit warning for this which I think is a little much. Like, there are sex scenes but they are edited in a way that never shows anything graphic. Like, I have definitely seen more graphic things in manga that don't have the same level of explicit warnings as this one does.
Because the story starts in the middle of their affair, I feel like we get a little shorted on character development - especially them as individual people. We don't really get to know what the women are like outside of their relationship. There's a whole romantic history of Fujimura that is barely touched on. And we don't really get to see conversation between them outside of sexy talk and talk about work. It's a bit difficult to get fully on board with this casual affair developing into a romance when all they talk about is work and sex. Like do they like each other? What do they like to do together outside of work and sex?
There are also a few plotlines that are presented but never really shown and are just kind of left without a conclusion. Ayano and her husband are both having affairs and losing love between each other and that builds and builds throughout the story but is never addressed? We just get the end, the resolution, without the climax. I wish there had been a scene of them talking about it, addressing it, their affairs being exposed, something! There were no consequences in this story for anyone's affair. Them having an affair was such a problem for our main characters - they were so anxious about people finding out - for the majority of the story, just for it to be handled offscreen was annoying.
Also, there was another office romance/affair in the story that was discovered by the workplace and the way it blew up withing the workforce, enough for one of the individuals in the affair to quit working there, but there is never even the thought of what might happen to Ayano and Fujimura if their romance is discovered by the workplace.
I just felt like this manga has a lot of opportunities to discuss what it's like to be a female lesbian in the Japanese workplace, and it just didn't. It had a lot of opportunities to discuss the familial and societal expectations of women in Japan, and it touched on it lightly but didn't do much with it aside from hinting that it's there.
I am very happy to have a non-school based yuri story. I feel like most of them take place in school. I loved seeing adult women in their late twenties and thirties still discovering and exploring their sexuality and still finding love at an older age. I loved seeing mature, consensual portrayals of sex. And I still enjoyed the story. It was still a fun read, even if it didn't do as much as I would have hoped it would.
June 26, 2025
If I’m honest I found that one pretty bad, don’t get the high star ratings.
September 11, 2020
I always complain about how there are few manga with stories in which both characters are adults and encounter realistic obstacles in their relationship.
And well, after waiting for it, I finally found it ... And even better, the manga was licensed ♥
This manga is great, it has a wonderful balance of dramatic, romantic, cute and of course, sex scenes.
I hope to have the opportunity to read more works by this author. Even more now that I have discovered that the author is a lesbian woman in real life, living with her wife in Japan.
And well, after waiting for it, I finally found it ... And even better, the manga was licensed ♥
This manga is great, it has a wonderful balance of dramatic, romantic, cute and of course, sex scenes.
I hope to have the opportunity to read more works by this author. Even more now that I have discovered that the author is a lesbian woman in real life, living with her wife in Japan.
October 10, 2020
This book is beautiful and important not because it's a lesbian romance, but because of how the central relationship empowers both women. Both believe that happiness is something that is outside of their reach, one because she's gay in a society that doesn't accept f/f relationships as "real" and the other because she's been trying so hard to do what she's "supposed to" that she hasn't even really registered that it's making her miserable. While their relationship begins as an affair (one woman is married), it offers both of them the chance to realize that happiness is right there in front of them if they're willing to admit that they want it. They bring out the best in each other, which is what a romance should do.
September 14, 2025
4,5
I LOVE SESBIAN LEX
I LOVE SESBIAN LEX
May 14, 2022
A gay office worker makes a drunken pass at her straight, married manager and ends up in an affair with all its messy entanglements. The story plays with some of the complications of such a situation, but an abrupt ending that dispenses with all the nuance in a couple of sentences shows that it was just about office lady fan service all along.
Also, with all the relatively subdued emotions of the characters, the title of the book just never applies at any time. Where's the hate?
Also, with all the relatively subdued emotions of the characters, the title of the book just never applies at any time. Where's the hate?
July 7, 2021
did this make me scream? yes.
did i get so frustrated i walked away from the book? yeah.
did i enjoyed the characters & plot? hell yes.
i liked it. good lesbian manga
did i get so frustrated i walked away from the book? yeah.
did i enjoyed the characters & plot? hell yes.
i liked it. good lesbian manga
August 19, 2020
Ayano and Fujimura are, respectively, a manager and subordinate at a Japanese firm that does... something... but they also have a secret. Ayano is trapped in a loveless marriage, while Fujimura is very much a lesbian with a bad habit of crushing on unattainable women. While she might not be able to keep Ayano, that doesn’t stop the pair (for now) from frequently meeting for drinks and sex.
Workplace yuri is an underrepresented part of the genre and this is a good entry into the canon. The parts I liked I really enjoyed - Ayano’s misery in her marriage and her initial using of Fujimura as the only means she has to momentarily escape and get revenge on her husband ring true as the actions of somebody who feels like she’ll be held hostage by society forever.
Fujimura is a little possessive too, but that also fits with her being somebody who has been eternally disappointed, but now has somebody who returns those affections, however briefly. As it should be, their relationship is the best part of the book.
There’s also a lot of well done sex in this book. The explicit warning feels a bit like overkill - yeah, they get naked and do things, but it’s all edited very smartly and you can tell how into one another the two are. I’ve seen far worse done with a lot less care and props to the author for pulling it off.
Its nature as a one-shot is what causes most of the story’s problems. Character development gets short shrift - our leads get the bulk, but not enough for my liking (Fujimura especially has to have a romantic history we never hear a word about).
There are also a lot of dangling plot threads that deserve to be fleshed out and never are. Asano’s problems with her husband (and his own affair) build and build, but then we suddenly see the resolution and not the climax. There should have been a lot more done with that, given what a problem it presented to our leads. Major conflict resolving offscreen leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Further, after all the hand-wringing when another employee’s office romance is discovered, there’s nothing addressed about what will happen when these two get found out (doubly so since both are women).
As somebody who has been in an office romance before, I assure you it’s as easy to hide one as it is to fit a hippopotamus into a wooly jumper. I realize you only have so many pages, but given how easily they get away with it it feels like a missed opportunity to really say something about being a lesbian in the Japanese workforce.
If you’d like a non-schoolgirl yuri title with decent leads, a mature portrayal of sex, and a good enough story, this will fit the bill. Not to say it excels anywhere, but it isn’t a waste of time either. And no, that title doesn’t make a damn lick of sense at any point.
Workplace yuri is an underrepresented part of the genre and this is a good entry into the canon. The parts I liked I really enjoyed - Ayano’s misery in her marriage and her initial using of Fujimura as the only means she has to momentarily escape and get revenge on her husband ring true as the actions of somebody who feels like she’ll be held hostage by society forever.
Fujimura is a little possessive too, but that also fits with her being somebody who has been eternally disappointed, but now has somebody who returns those affections, however briefly. As it should be, their relationship is the best part of the book.
There’s also a lot of well done sex in this book. The explicit warning feels a bit like overkill - yeah, they get naked and do things, but it’s all edited very smartly and you can tell how into one another the two are. I’ve seen far worse done with a lot less care and props to the author for pulling it off.
Its nature as a one-shot is what causes most of the story’s problems. Character development gets short shrift - our leads get the bulk, but not enough for my liking (Fujimura especially has to have a romantic history we never hear a word about).
There are also a lot of dangling plot threads that deserve to be fleshed out and never are. Asano’s problems with her husband (and his own affair) build and build, but then we suddenly see the resolution and not the climax. There should have been a lot more done with that, given what a problem it presented to our leads. Major conflict resolving offscreen leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Further, after all the hand-wringing when another employee’s office romance is discovered, there’s nothing addressed about what will happen when these two get found out (doubly so since both are women).
As somebody who has been in an office romance before, I assure you it’s as easy to hide one as it is to fit a hippopotamus into a wooly jumper. I realize you only have so many pages, but given how easily they get away with it it feels like a missed opportunity to really say something about being a lesbian in the Japanese workforce.
If you’d like a non-schoolgirl yuri title with decent leads, a mature portrayal of sex, and a good enough story, this will fit the bill. Not to say it excels anywhere, but it isn’t a waste of time either. And no, that title doesn’t make a damn lick of sense at any point.
November 17, 2025
Although I am not a fan of affairs, this was still cute. I do wish there were more chapters, especially with more stuff about the other office characters (they are sweethearts)! All in all, don’t cheat, just break up or divorce (yeah, easier said than done for the latter but still)
February 20, 2023
This is the first manga i’ve ever read, and I don’t know if it’s for me. My issue with this book specifically is that I wasn’t invested in the story. It didn’t feel like there was enough character development for me to really fall in love with these characters.
June 5, 2025
There were some things I liked and things that I definitely DIDN'T like but it was good
QUOTES :P
"You betrayed me first, but this is different from your affair, because we're both women it has no future"
"Managing a team must be a heavy burden for a woman. It's tough enough for men"
"I always felt that I had to live up to other people's expectations... that I had to be the person they wanted to be"
QUOTES :P
"You betrayed me first, but this is different from your affair, because we're both women it has no future"
"Managing a team must be a heavy burden for a woman. It's tough enough for men"
"I always felt that I had to live up to other people's expectations... that I had to be the person they wanted to be"
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 19, 2020
2020 Read #567
I wish there were more yuri manga about adult women (whether in college or the workplace), and this manga in particular is wonderful in that regard. But even so it is still a story that is told very often, of an affair where one party does not want to leave their current partner and the other party is hopelessly attached anyway. While this isn’t a groundbreaking manga in that regard, it’s still nice to know it exists anyway.
I wish there were more yuri manga about adult women (whether in college or the workplace), and this manga in particular is wonderful in that regard. But even so it is still a story that is told very often, of an affair where one party does not want to leave their current partner and the other party is hopelessly attached anyway. While this isn’t a groundbreaking manga in that regard, it’s still nice to know it exists anyway.
September 15, 2020
This is a workplace yuri manga involving Ayako, a 33-year old married woman, and Saori, her 26-year old subordinate. The story starts off with these two already having an affair. This was supposed to be a shorter manga but was stretched to a full volume, which was evidenced by the pretty straightforward plot. It's yet another story that tries to justify cheating using the married party's unfaithful/problematic spouse. While I normally wouldn't have given this a second look after knowing the premise involves infidelity, I was looking for a quick read and the artwork for this manga caught my eye. And even though there's nothing special about the story, I was content with witnessing the sweet moments in the relationship of the MCs and how the ending was handled.
February 27, 2025
this manga should be turned into a drama because the story is absolutely PERFECT for it!!!! in only 1 volume i feel like yuni has perfectly captured beautiful characters and made their love believable and gorgeous!!!!!! it was so nice reading about adults with jobs, too, (especially because both of them are in good jobs!!) and it even managed to touch on misogyny in the workplace and workplace culture?? all the while having good spice and well written characters?? literally what more could i ask for? actually... maybe another few volumes PLEASE!!!! guys make this famous please so author will write more
June 17, 2024
3.75
me totalnie smutna przez 70%😭
me totalnie smutna przez 70%😭
July 10, 2023
Ayano and Fujimura made a cute couple even though Ayano had some insecurities. I really would like another installment to see where their relationship goes.
November 2, 2020
Well written with good art
This is a well written story that delves into the difficulties of being both a career woman and a lesbian in a traditional culture like Japan. While many of the issues the protagonists face might not be as relevant for western readers, there are still vestiges of the same attitudes lurking in western culture or we wouldn't have issues with young people being afraid to come out and various hate groups trying to roll back the progress that has been made over the past few decades for both women's rights and gay rights, let alone the fact that there is still a significant gender gap in pay rates. All in all,it is a wonderful story.
This is a well written story that delves into the difficulties of being both a career woman and a lesbian in a traditional culture like Japan. While many of the issues the protagonists face might not be as relevant for western readers, there are still vestiges of the same attitudes lurking in western culture or we wouldn't have issues with young people being afraid to come out and various hate groups trying to roll back the progress that has been made over the past few decades for both women's rights and gay rights, let alone the fact that there is still a significant gender gap in pay rates. All in all,it is a wonderful story.
September 13, 2020
I expected to have fun with I Love You So Much, I Hate You, but I left feeling like I found one of my new favorite yuri manga. The big honest feelings, clever humor, and just-right amounts of drama and sexuality come together into the perfect romantic package. If you're looking for a romance that feels "real" without bogging itself down in gloomy angst, take this office affair out for a spin. I'll definitely be looking for more by this author.
Full review here: https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/revi...
Full review here: https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/revi...
March 25, 2025
und dann erkennst du, dass es noch eine andere Liebe gibt
Dies ist mein erster Girls Love Manga. Dieser Band konnte mich noch nicht ganz davon überzeugen. Ich mochte die Geschichte sowie das Konzept sehr. Leider fing es mitten in deren Affäre an. Dadurch konnte ich die Protagonistinnen nicht wirklich Kennenlernen oder war ab gewissen Reaktionen überrascht, welche nicht wirklich ins Bild passten.
Es war durchaus unterhaltsam und ist empfehlenswert. Ich freue mich auf weitere GL Mangas, welche mich dann vielleicht mehr ansprechen.
Dies ist mein erster Girls Love Manga. Dieser Band konnte mich noch nicht ganz davon überzeugen. Ich mochte die Geschichte sowie das Konzept sehr. Leider fing es mitten in deren Affäre an. Dadurch konnte ich die Protagonistinnen nicht wirklich Kennenlernen oder war ab gewissen Reaktionen überrascht, welche nicht wirklich ins Bild passten.
Es war durchaus unterhaltsam und ist empfehlenswert. Ich freue mich auf weitere GL Mangas, welche mich dann vielleicht mehr ansprechen.
September 17, 2022
I really enjoyed this manga! I don’t have much to say about it though ☹️
What I will say is that I’m usually not big on stories that make cheating/affairs a central part of the narrative, but I was able to accept it a bit better because it’s a queer story. I wasn’t invested in Ayako’s marriage, so it didn’t matter to me that she was cheating on her husband. Plus, the resolution of the story was exactly what I wanted it to be, so it also helped me be at peace with the affair.
At the end of the day, I enjoyed the romance between these two characters. It had its ups and downs and truly some sad moments, but it made it all the better. As the heathen I am, however, I gladly would have accepted even more steaminess in the smut ✨
What I will say is that I’m usually not big on stories that make cheating/affairs a central part of the narrative, but I was able to accept it a bit better because it’s a queer story. I wasn’t invested in Ayako’s marriage, so it didn’t matter to me that she was cheating on her husband. Plus, the resolution of the story was exactly what I wanted it to be, so it also helped me be at peace with the affair.
At the end of the day, I enjoyed the romance between these two characters. It had its ups and downs and truly some sad moments, but it made it all the better. As the heathen I am, however, I gladly would have accepted even more steaminess in the smut ✨
April 29, 2025
tbh to zaczęłam to czytać tylko dlatego że robiłam wielki test co da się czytać na zwykłym czytniku xD (okazuje się że niewiele bo większość graficznych czytadeł okrutnie długo się ładuje, albo nie można się doczytac tekstu w dymkach)
w każdym razie to zadziałało XD
recenzja:
historia krótka i przewidywalna, ale szczerze było to dokładnie to czego by się oczekiwało po takim tytule więc ciężko się czepiać
historia, postacie, kreska - wszystko dosyć mało ciekawe, a całość jest krótka więc zero miejsca na niuanse. niemniej była to sympatyczna lektura, nawet jeśli nie zostanie ze mną na dłużej
w każdym razie to zadziałało XD
recenzja:
historia krótka i przewidywalna, ale szczerze było to dokładnie to czego by się oczekiwało po takim tytule więc ciężko się czepiać
historia, postacie, kreska - wszystko dosyć mało ciekawe, a całość jest krótka więc zero miejsca na niuanse. niemniej była to sympatyczna lektura, nawet jeśli nie zostanie ze mną na dłużej
September 6, 2023
4 stars. Married woman is having an affair with her female employee. I love mess. Saori is in love with her boss, Ayako and they strike up an affair because Ayako’s husband is also having an affair. The drama. The angst. I loved it. Both characters are likable and they had such incredible chemistry. The passion and emotions between them was just so good and the ending was lovely. I wanted more. I feel like was so rushed through and I really wanted to see the fall out of it but other than that this was a very entertaining and romantic read. I can see how this wouldn’t work for everyone but it absolutely worked for me.
September 11, 2020
It's good to see that there is a workplace yuri manga out there but it honestly I felt the plot desperately needed to be taken seriously, especially expanding character development. I just felt both MC's acted the same (both pretty much flirt with each other) instead of being tested as opposites. I'm not saying this as a usually BL reader, I'm just saying this as someone who just thinks this manga can really branch out.
July 9, 2022
I really enjoyed reading this volume! It was sweet and their dynamic was so loving my gosh. I don't think it'll be one that stands out in memory but worth the read!
January 1, 2025
WAITER WAITER, MORE YURI PLEASEEE!!
okay accomplished my reading goal for 2024, going to aim for 6 this year 😜
okay accomplished my reading goal for 2024, going to aim for 6 this year 😜
July 30, 2025
1. they look like corporate world nana and hachi
2. this would've hit so hard as a slow burn series
2. this would've hit so hard as a slow burn series
November 17, 2025
I was reading this at like 2am on a Monday. unemployed asf.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 122 reviews