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Bringing Up Race: How to Raise a Kind Child in a Prejudiced World
"Uju Asika has written a necessary book for our times."―Chika Unigwe, author of On Black Sisters' Street You can't avoid it, because it's everywhere. In the looks Black kids get in certain spaces, the manner in which some people speak to them, the stuff that goes over their heads. Stuff that makes them cry even when they don't know why. How do you bring up your kids to be kind and happy when there is so much out there trying to break them down? Bringing Up Race is an important book, for all families whatever their race or ethnicity. It's for everyone who wants to instil a sense of open-minded inclusivity in their kids, and those who want to discuss difference instead of shying away from tough questions. Uju Asika draws on often shocking personal stories of prejudice along with opinions of experts, influencers, and fellow parents to give prescriptive advice in this invaluable guide. Bringing Up Race When children start noticing ethnic differences ( much earlier than you think) What to do if your child says something racist (try not to freak out) How to have open, honest, age-appropriate conversations about race How children and parents can handle racial bullying How to recognize and challenge everyday racism, aka microaggressions Bringing Up Race is a call to arms for all parents as our society works to combat white supremacy and dismantle the systemic racism that has existed for hundreds of years.
368 pages, Paperback
Published May 4, 2021
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1123 people want to read
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June 2, 2021A practical and hopeful guide.
April 19, 2021
I have followed Uju Asika's blog Babes About Town for a number of years and I was intrigued when she published her book at the end of last year. I bought it immediately, though have only just got round to reading it as I have a 'to read' list as long as my arm!
The book covers a number of issues that children may face, using the experiences of fellow bloggers, Asika's own experiences and big news stories. At the end of each chapter there is a section called 'Talking Points' in which questions related to the topic of the chapter are asked and Asika responds with how a parent could approach the situation. I particularly liked the chapters on hair and the banana/monkey slurs as I feel they were very well-explained and focused.
This book would probably be best for a parent who is just starting to explore race, the anti-racist movement and approaching racism with children. It is a very general book, but I feel it doesn't really bring anything new to the conversation and it doesn't dig deep into the issues. I have read White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism and Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race in the past year and they go into the issues a lot more and I feel are more useful as anti-racist resources. Part of the issue, I think, is that there did not seem to be any detailed academic research into the different elements of the book. There are references to the number of search hits that come up on Google if you search it, Buzzfeed videos and, of course, the interviews with fellow bloggers, most of whom are women (is this representative?). There was also, at one point, a comment made about the Swedish/Finnish educational system's approach to race and diversity as something that Asika was said to be interested in, but that's it! She did not explain why it was an apparently better system or a description of what they do differently.
I had some concerns, also, about some of the comments in the book. She refers to one mum looking like an "Oompa loompa" which I thought very judgmental and unkind which seems to go against the whole ethos of being kind which is being promoted by the book!
So, if you want a general introduction to race then read this book. If you are already read in the subject, then I suggest giving it a miss.
The book covers a number of issues that children may face, using the experiences of fellow bloggers, Asika's own experiences and big news stories. At the end of each chapter there is a section called 'Talking Points' in which questions related to the topic of the chapter are asked and Asika responds with how a parent could approach the situation. I particularly liked the chapters on hair and the banana/monkey slurs as I feel they were very well-explained and focused.
This book would probably be best for a parent who is just starting to explore race, the anti-racist movement and approaching racism with children. It is a very general book, but I feel it doesn't really bring anything new to the conversation and it doesn't dig deep into the issues. I have read White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism and Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race in the past year and they go into the issues a lot more and I feel are more useful as anti-racist resources. Part of the issue, I think, is that there did not seem to be any detailed academic research into the different elements of the book. There are references to the number of search hits that come up on Google if you search it, Buzzfeed videos and, of course, the interviews with fellow bloggers, most of whom are women (is this representative?). There was also, at one point, a comment made about the Swedish/Finnish educational system's approach to race and diversity as something that Asika was said to be interested in, but that's it! She did not explain why it was an apparently better system or a description of what they do differently.
I had some concerns, also, about some of the comments in the book. She refers to one mum looking like an "Oompa loompa" which I thought very judgmental and unkind which seems to go against the whole ethos of being kind which is being promoted by the book!
So, if you want a general introduction to race then read this book. If you are already read in the subject, then I suggest giving it a miss.
February 11, 2021
‘What do we think of race is made up - It’s a social construct. What we think of as colour is a trick of the light.’
‘Remember that little eyes are watching and learning from everything including your silence.’
Uju Asika Is a blogger who was encouraged by her cousin to write this book about bringing up race and how to raise children in a prejudiced world. The chapters are arranged by theme including mixed heritage, skin colour, conversations with kids, history, being a global citizen, hair, different shades beauty. At the end of every chapter there is a Q&A where people bring up every day issues that arise and solutions for them. Overall I think the structure of the book works really well for what it is..
As far as the content is concerned, I believe that it can be something for everyone with little nuggets of wisdom that we all need to hear one way or another. A small disclaimer here: I am a white woman so a lot of the things explained or addressed are more relevant towards people of colour on how to deal with them and accept who they are. That being said, it was refreshing and informative to see another perspective of it as I’m a constant learning myself regarding race and the history behind it..
The book includes a lot of references of famous people, scientists, studies, films, documentaries, as well as personal experiences with her own kids, friends and family. That made it both a read with serious and credible sources yet not as abstract and detached way as many non-box tend to be.
I do recommend this book for everyone whether they have kids or not. As a new mum myself I am trying to learn as much as possible and try to be the best I can be for my little one.
Thank you NetGalley for providing me an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
‘Remember that little eyes are watching and learning from everything including your silence.’
Uju Asika Is a blogger who was encouraged by her cousin to write this book about bringing up race and how to raise children in a prejudiced world. The chapters are arranged by theme including mixed heritage, skin colour, conversations with kids, history, being a global citizen, hair, different shades beauty. At the end of every chapter there is a Q&A where people bring up every day issues that arise and solutions for them. Overall I think the structure of the book works really well for what it is..
As far as the content is concerned, I believe that it can be something for everyone with little nuggets of wisdom that we all need to hear one way or another. A small disclaimer here: I am a white woman so a lot of the things explained or addressed are more relevant towards people of colour on how to deal with them and accept who they are. That being said, it was refreshing and informative to see another perspective of it as I’m a constant learning myself regarding race and the history behind it..
The book includes a lot of references of famous people, scientists, studies, films, documentaries, as well as personal experiences with her own kids, friends and family. That made it both a read with serious and credible sources yet not as abstract and detached way as many non-box tend to be.
I do recommend this book for everyone whether they have kids or not. As a new mum myself I am trying to learn as much as possible and try to be the best I can be for my little one.
Thank you NetGalley for providing me an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
March 17, 2021
***Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest review***
Born in Nigeria and living in Britain, Uju Asika is a mother and a blogger (among other things) with whom I was unfamiliar before reading this book. Her conversational tone and concise Q&As make this book a breeze to read despite its often heavy content. It's clear that she has mastered the art of blogging, and that it hasn't affected her ability to write a book with longer passages and a clear message. Among the many books now available about racism, and specifically racism as it affects children, this one contributes a fresh voice.
Born in Nigeria and living in Britain, Uju Asika is a mother and a blogger (among other things) with whom I was unfamiliar before reading this book. Her conversational tone and concise Q&As make this book a breeze to read despite its often heavy content. It's clear that she has mastered the art of blogging, and that it hasn't affected her ability to write a book with longer passages and a clear message. Among the many books now available about racism, and specifically racism as it affects children, this one contributes a fresh voice.
October 5, 2024
I have to admit I am pretty clueless when it comes to race. Growing up in east Germany there weren’t many people from different ethnicities, maybe a few Vietnamese. And we didn’t get much exposure through travelling as we were only allowed to go to our communist brother countries.
So I am grateful to have this guide, as a starting point. Learning that there is a lot more to learn (as usual).
Uju writes with so much love and compassion which made my heart melt in places. You know these rare people, who see everything with love and only see the good in people, those kind people (but definitely not weak)
So I am grateful to have this guide, as a starting point. Learning that there is a lot more to learn (as usual).
Uju writes with so much love and compassion which made my heart melt in places. You know these rare people, who see everything with love and only see the good in people, those kind people (but definitely not weak)
September 25, 2025
I picked this up because I thought I was the audience ie black mother with children, needing to educate and make them aware of racism or prejudice in our society. However I think this is written more to those who don’t experience racism as you don’t need to drum in so much as to why you are different rather encourage them to celebrate their uniqueness and embrace their race, culture and difference. More a repetition of her upbringing from the Raising boys book with a few personal stories from her and her family members who have experienced racism growing up.
Well written and engaging with a few letters and responses in agony aunt style.
Well written and engaging with a few letters and responses in agony aunt style.
September 13, 2021
A fresh perspective on talking to your children about race in 2021 society. Gives realistic talking points at the end of each chapter.
March 1, 2021
Brilliant read. Very informative in an easy to absorb read.
February 19, 2022
This was a parenting book with a focus on anti-racism. I wish this book had been around when my kids were a little younger. I think it has great ideas, and things which I could still implement, but I would have loved this book to be foundational in parenting my kids in their younger years.
October 12, 2020
Uju Asika’s book caught my eye amid the flurry of September releases, and I immediately pre-ordered it. Like so many of us, I am trying to educate myself as much as I can about antiracism, and while I still have a very long way to go, I feel like I am ready to think hard about how I can engage my kids in these vital conversations. My two are very young, only 3 and 5, but as Uju explains in her book, it is never too early to start the dialogue.
The structure of the book makes it extremely easy to read. Chapters are divided into short, snappily-titled subsections contain an engaging mixture of facts, personal anecdotes and testimonials from other parents/those who have been affected by racism. At the end of each chapter there are Talking Points, in which the author answers questions that may arise from the previous pages. I especially liked these sections, as it illustrates the uncertainty that many of us might have about approaching this topic, and shows that there are no stupid questions: the most important thing is that we do not let our fear of saying the wrong thing lead to us saying nothing at all. The complicity of silence is referred to several times, and is a danger I am becoming more aware of thanks to my reading on this subject. We’re not going to get it right every time, but this isn’t a test: it is a vitally important learning experience for both us and our children. The talking points and the handy reference section at the end of the book further emphasise that this is a process, and give the book a very practical feel.
What struck me most of all was the tone of this book: it is informal but informative, warm and wise, driven by a desire to help others implement change, not to berate them. This is also a very kind book: Uju’s mantra of “Be cool, be kind, be you” runs through her prose – her personality and sense of humour lift the mood of the book, while her empathy and generosity shine out of every page. Yes, the anger at injustice is there, how could it not be, but what the author shows us is how to channel that anger into something positive.
Bringing Up Race is useful, informative, thought-provoking and, above all, hopeful. Like Uju, I have faith in the next generation, and am heartened by the changes I see in the way they view the world. But we, as parents, have a very important role to play in this: we need to have the difficult conversations, challenge our own assumptions and inbuilt biases, learn and explore alongside our children. This book has already prompted me to have some really interesting discussions with my five year old, and I’ve noted down several of the reading suggestions from the back of the book for Xmas pressie ideas! I would recommend this book to every parent, without a moment’s hestitation.
The structure of the book makes it extremely easy to read. Chapters are divided into short, snappily-titled subsections contain an engaging mixture of facts, personal anecdotes and testimonials from other parents/those who have been affected by racism. At the end of each chapter there are Talking Points, in which the author answers questions that may arise from the previous pages. I especially liked these sections, as it illustrates the uncertainty that many of us might have about approaching this topic, and shows that there are no stupid questions: the most important thing is that we do not let our fear of saying the wrong thing lead to us saying nothing at all. The complicity of silence is referred to several times, and is a danger I am becoming more aware of thanks to my reading on this subject. We’re not going to get it right every time, but this isn’t a test: it is a vitally important learning experience for both us and our children. The talking points and the handy reference section at the end of the book further emphasise that this is a process, and give the book a very practical feel.
What struck me most of all was the tone of this book: it is informal but informative, warm and wise, driven by a desire to help others implement change, not to berate them. This is also a very kind book: Uju’s mantra of “Be cool, be kind, be you” runs through her prose – her personality and sense of humour lift the mood of the book, while her empathy and generosity shine out of every page. Yes, the anger at injustice is there, how could it not be, but what the author shows us is how to channel that anger into something positive.
Bringing Up Race is useful, informative, thought-provoking and, above all, hopeful. Like Uju, I have faith in the next generation, and am heartened by the changes I see in the way they view the world. But we, as parents, have a very important role to play in this: we need to have the difficult conversations, challenge our own assumptions and inbuilt biases, learn and explore alongside our children. This book has already prompted me to have some really interesting discussions with my five year old, and I’ve noted down several of the reading suggestions from the back of the book for Xmas pressie ideas! I would recommend this book to every parent, without a moment’s hestitation.
May 9, 2021
Thank you to Netgalley and Sourcebooks for a free ebook of Bringing Up Race: How to Raise a Kind Child in a Prejudiced World by Uju Asika in exchange for an honest review.
I love that this doesn't just identify the problem, but gives tips on how to actually implement the ideas in day to day parenting. The author uses both statistics and stories/anecdotes to make for a really enjoyable reading experience. This is what I would call super readable nonfiction.
I don't agree with everything she says (in one sentence she laments cuts to the police department in London) but overall I think there's a lot of value to this book. I did wonder throughout if the author was thinking a bit too much about the white gaze when she was writing but don't think I'm the right person to answer that question, as a white woman. I definitely did appreciate that she was including so many different experiences and situations. There was so much advice that I think will be specifically helpful to me as I parent.
I gave this one 4.5 stars but I always round up. My partner has already said he wants to get a copy based on the parts I kept telling him about while I was reading.
I love that this doesn't just identify the problem, but gives tips on how to actually implement the ideas in day to day parenting. The author uses both statistics and stories/anecdotes to make for a really enjoyable reading experience. This is what I would call super readable nonfiction.
I don't agree with everything she says (in one sentence she laments cuts to the police department in London) but overall I think there's a lot of value to this book. I did wonder throughout if the author was thinking a bit too much about the white gaze when she was writing but don't think I'm the right person to answer that question, as a white woman. I definitely did appreciate that she was including so many different experiences and situations. There was so much advice that I think will be specifically helpful to me as I parent.
I gave this one 4.5 stars but I always round up. My partner has already said he wants to get a copy based on the parts I kept telling him about while I was reading.
May 8, 2021
Having no familiarity with Asika's blog, I was pulled into reading this book as the white mom of Black children. This book would be a great starting point for any parent wanting to make sure that they are raising their children to be anti-racist and to learn more about how the world looks from the viewpoint of a person of color, particularly a Black mother of mixed heritage children. While not a deep dive into any one topic, this book covers a plethora of race related topics, from hair to micro aggressions to colorism to being Black in a white space. One of my favorite aspects of this book are the "talking points" Asika covers at the end of each chapter. This section is in a question and answer format and gives advice on how to apply what was learned in the chapter to parenting, giving action steps. This book was the perfect balance of factual information and personal stories and I would highly recommend it.
May 2, 2021
I found this book to be approachable and digestible - reading through it was interesting and thought-provoking. The author lives in London and is the mother of two sons. The book includes lots of her own stories and those of other parents she interviewed, and it seemed like most of the children were of mixed heritage. This book would be especially relevant to parents of Black or mixed heritage kids (i.e. some chapters covered topics like hair and skin tone or how to react when you are the victim of a racial slur), but there were lots of great points and ideas for any families as well. I am a White mother in the US and found good things to discuss with my child.
I especially liked that each chapter ended with "Talking Points" - sort of like a FAQ on that chapter's topic, with questions from parents usually on how to handle something and the author providing a response with suggestions.
I especially liked that each chapter ended with "Talking Points" - sort of like a FAQ on that chapter's topic, with questions from parents usually on how to handle something and the author providing a response with suggestions.
July 26, 2025
Uju Asika equips parents for the real world. All parents aspire (or at least HOPEFULLY aspire) to raise a kind and inclusive child who stands up for others. But how do we teach our children what to look out for when bullying becomes bigotry? Asika answers just that perfectly in her stellar work “Bringing Up Race”. She brings you into her world and takes a magnifying glass to the injustices that plague everyday life for people of color. She educates while encouraging conversations with our children about how our differences make us who we are and how those differences can affect the way we operate or are treated within society. Uju’s writing was familiar and humorous, like catching up with an old friend. Thanks to Uju Asika, we can create a dialogue of how to fight for better for not only our neighbors, but ourselves.
November 15, 2021
I’ve read better books on the subject of race and racism and there is still something to learn from her perspective. Her perspective as a parent and as a UK citizen born in Nigeria brings freshness. I think some of her political comments would alienate some (I agree Trump is awful but this is thrown in at times superficially and didn’t add much to the book at times).
I would say this is a good intro as pretty easy to read and the discussion questions and responses at the end were likely the most helpful, as was her bibliography of books that can expose kids (and adults) to different cultures and teach about racism.
I would say this is a good intro as pretty easy to read and the discussion questions and responses at the end were likely the most helpful, as was her bibliography of books that can expose kids (and adults) to different cultures and teach about racism.
December 12, 2022
This book should be recommend to everyone to read. It is a good starter on being an anti racist. It really teaches you about racism and how it all began. It enables you look to look deep within yourself and see if you have prejudice. I don't even think this is for parents alone. I think this book is for everyone regardless of age, class or colour. I learnt about the history of colourism, how it's not only local to black people but with Asians too. I learnt about the history of afro hair and how far along it has come to be accepted and loved. This book is very knowledgeable but my only critique was about mixed race children, I do think it should've been made very clear that mixed race children should be taught they are mixed race and they don't need to pick a race to identify in. Apart from that, a very knowledgeable book on racism. It has now challenged me to be open more to diversity which I already have done but to read books that I'm not use to and knowing the difference between cultural appropriation and appreciation. This book will give everyone a lesson.
February 13, 2021
I saw this at the New Arrivals section of my library and was intrigued. Race is such a charged and important topic these days. As a young adult, I struggle with how to navigate it. I have seen kids being racist and I wondered whether I could do anything about it.
Generally, I enjoyed this and I thought the author had good points. I felt like people of colour, Africans in particular would identify with this the most because a lot of her examples and stories include them. Their stories and experiences sounded so heartbreaking. I did not know there was a Crayola multicultural set. I googled a lot of the examples she mentioned and appreciated them.
It was fair that she interviews other races too. She brought up some good points on how not addressing problematic behaviour can be detrimental for children.
The writing was easy to read and I liked the Q & A at the end of each chapter.
The last chapter felt rather idealistic and too cheery.
Generally, I enjoyed this and I thought the author had good points. I felt like people of colour, Africans in particular would identify with this the most because a lot of her examples and stories include them. Their stories and experiences sounded so heartbreaking. I did not know there was a Crayola multicultural set. I googled a lot of the examples she mentioned and appreciated them.
It was fair that she interviews other races too. She brought up some good points on how not addressing problematic behaviour can be detrimental for children.
The writing was easy to read and I liked the Q & A at the end of each chapter.
The last chapter felt rather idealistic and too cheery.
June 7, 2021
This book should be essential reading for everybody – not just because I'm quoted in it!
Aimed at parents, this personal and inclusive book explores racism, prejudice and how it impacts children through a multitude of personal stories, historical events and professional insights. Each chapter ends with examples of how to address questions about race in a way that welcomes everybody. Like I mentioned, it is essential reading for everybody, not just parents, for aren't we all also raising ourselves? A brilliant read for anti-racist allies.
Aimed at parents, this personal and inclusive book explores racism, prejudice and how it impacts children through a multitude of personal stories, historical events and professional insights. Each chapter ends with examples of how to address questions about race in a way that welcomes everybody. Like I mentioned, it is essential reading for everybody, not just parents, for aren't we all also raising ourselves? A brilliant read for anti-racist allies.
November 22, 2020
Vital reading for anyone with kids. Uju writes from her own experience of raising black boys in London but also draws from other parents experiences both black and mixed race, sharing their stories really sensitively and beautifully. This book is such an important and helpful book. Heart wrenching at times, informative, and practical in understanding how to raise our children to be kind and aware of the world they live in. I will be reading this multiple times, I know.
September 29, 2021
I loved this. The author talks at large about how stories unite us and how books have the power to change the world and she's doing just that. This was so accessible and relatable. Many parenting books fall into the trap of too many dos and don'ts and this instead was so practical and affirming. It felt like having a long conversation with a good friend and I couldn't wait to read each chapter.
December 20, 2022
The prospective was insightful as she retells experiences from her life as a POC mother. Easy to read, I especially enjoyed the simple discussions in response to common questions from mothers about race.
There are more informative and academic books addressing race and parenting, but this is absolutely a good place to start.
There are more informative and academic books addressing race and parenting, but this is absolutely a good place to start.
March 5, 2021
I don't know exactly why I was drawn to this book but I'm glad I read it. It had quite a gentle approach but it definitely got the point across. It was also a genuinely interesting read and had a fresh perspective.
November 22, 2021
This book is excellent, full of rich stories and constructive advice. I would definitely recommend this to parents, anyone who interacts with kids, really anybody trying to be a more thoughtful person on earth.
cw: some ableist messaging is used, mixed messages about incarceration and police
cw: some ableist messaging is used, mixed messages about incarceration and police
February 7, 2022
Silence and colour blindness is not effective, notice colour and race and differences and talk about them. Hold space for others shoe need it (don’t try to fix it for them). Expose your kids to all things: books, food, places. Kindness is an intentional act (as opposed to being nice).
September 16, 2025
If you’ve read any book on anti-racism and how to live as conscious as possible, you don’t need to read this one. Maybe nice for those with little knowledge, it gives you specific tools to use in parenthood - but very repetitive for someone who’s not new to this subject.
Want to read
March 25, 2021Note: I accessed a digital review copy of this book through Edelweiss.
April 21, 2021
A highly engaging book which provoked a lot of questions for me, and better equipped me to discuss racism with young people.
July 4, 2021
Review coming soon to cookscrapcraft.blogspot.com!
July 5, 2021
This offers a good overview of different issues relating to prejudice and racism by offering real life examples and sample questions. Also, an excellent reading list for various ages.
November 27, 2021
A necessary and important read. A very hopeful and practical guide to not only raising a kind child but to help grow and change your own mindset.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews