Perfectly Imperfect: Compassionate Strategies to Cultivate a Positive Body Image

by Amy Harman

Proven tools for a self-love approach to body image

In an age filled with polished images of models and celebrities, feeling happy and at home in your own body can be difficult. Perfectly Imperfect is your compassionate guide to developing a positive body image. It features practical, evidence-based strategies to help you transform any negative self-perceptions and heal your relationship with your body.

Explore affirmations and exercises for letting go of harmful thoughts about body image, ways to improve your social environment, and tips for embracing yourself as you are. When you believe that you are worthy, regardless of what your body looks like, your self-esteem will increase.

Perfectly Imperfect

Beyond the physical—Learn to identify and appreciate the qualities and gifts that you offer the world.Self-care creates body image—Practice prioritizing holistic care of your body and mind.For every body—Find guidance to reveal the beauty in your body, just as it is.

Dive into the factors surrounding body image and find compassionate strategies to cultivate a more positive view of yourself.

Genres: Nonfiction

134 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 28, 2020

About the author

Amy Harman, LMFT, CEDS is first and foremost her own self, living life in the one body she has--just like you. More than that, she is a daughter with an amazing heritage, she is a wife to her best friend, and she is a mother to three vivacious boys. She enjoys book clubs, board games, dancing, and watching fireflies. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Eating Disorder Specialist, and she is passionate about addressing body image issues. Getting to know her clients in their deepest sorrows and seeing their strength as they overcome them is truly one of the greatest blessings in her life. She enjoys speaking on the topic of body image and eating disorders and has presented at professional conferences and many community events. She is currently in private practice in Fairfax, Virginia.

Reviews

[Karisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like a breath of fresh air! This thoughtful, inspiring book offers guidance towards a better body image. Body image issues are a universal concern, and every human on the planet would benefit from the messages in this book! The strategies presented are both realistic and specific. I will be implementing many ideas from this book for myself, as well as for my children, to help them find joy in their lives and confidence in their own skin. I highly recommend this book with no reservations.

[Bianca Gonzalez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Realistic strategies to start feeling more comfortable in your own skin!

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you genuinely want to learn how to cultivate positive body image, Perfectly Imperfect is the only resource you'll need. Harman guides you through the process of analyzing your life, acknowledging where you are and what challenges you face, and teaching you how to embrace a holistic approach to body acceptance—even body love!

"The number one secret to a better body image is this: It isn't about the body at all. . . . Body image is much more an indication of your internal and emotional state" (p. 9). Starting with the work of identifying underlying issues, we can begin the journey of changing negative thoughts, behaviors, and influences.

That's one of the core messages, that cultivating a positive body image isn't a one-time achievement, it's a relationship that requires nurturing. "Just as relationships aren't immune to conflict and setbacks, your relationship with your body will also see some rocky times" (p. 109). "Having a positive body image doesn't mean you never have problems with your body. It simply means that the problems you have with your body won't prevent you from being able to accept and respect it. These problems also shouldn't prevent you from finding joy in life" (p. 110).

I wish that everyone would read this book. How wonderful it would be if we could all appreciate our bodies for what they do for us, if we could make peace with the bodies we were given, if we could stop judging ourselves and others against unrealistic standards. After reading this book I feel empowered to make changes and I know that I want to pass on a positive body image heritage to my daughters.

[Haley Gary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book was beautifully written. The writing style had such a sense of calm and understanding for anyone either struggling with current issues, or someone who is just reading this book as helpful reminders and daily encouragement. There are a few tools/tips from this book that I have started making daily habits in my life, and they have been immensely helpful. I paired this book with a Christian devotional I have been doing about body image. Both have been great daily affirmations for me.

The author sets realistic expectations for body image issue resolutions and does not pressure you to just "accept that you are beautiful and move on". She helps guide you through daily small changes, practical and realistic.

10/10 would recommend this to anyone struggling with self image or just looking for improvement in that area.

[Maureen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the friendly and gentle tone of this book. With just over 100 pages, it is quick and concise and yet contains a wealth of information and ideas on dealing with body image and emotions. Even those who think they may not have body image issues will find ways they can enhance their relationship with their body.

This book provides great information and suggestions about self-care, setting boundaries, extending grace to ourselves and others, and dealing with emotional “information.” There is a list of helpful resources the end of the book so you can continue your journey.

You are in good hands here! Amy Harman is a lovely and compassionate person who practices what she preaches.

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a great primer on body image! Harman covers a lot of the underlying issues of poor body image in this solid textual resource. I especially enjoyed all of the great tips and activities that she included to help me increase my self-awareness and foster self-discovery. She uses her years of experience as a licensed therapist in the treatment of eating disorders to reach out to her readers and offer compassion for the very real pain that comes with body image issues. I can't wait to purchase copies of this book for my three daughters and all of my nieces for Christmas! This is a must read for all teenagers (and grown ups too!). My favorite quote: "Practicing compassion for others can help you internalize compassionate messages toward yourself."

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolute game changer for me in terms of mindset.

[Molly Kelchen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I struggle with BDD tendencies, which is why I purchased this book. It is a fairly quick read with several tips and exercises to help the reader make peace with their body. I’ve done enough reading on this topic that most of the information presented was not new, but it was a good review nonetheless with some poignant reframing of Body Acceptance concepts.

[Alexis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I confess to going into this book with some apprehension. Body positivity, a movement started by the Fat Acceptance community, has so often been hijacked and weaponized into the same old diet rhetoric that I am always waiting for the moment when therapeutic strategies still become medical fatphobia. This book does not do that! It is a genuinely helpful text that embraces Health at Every Size (HAES), fat acceptance and body neutrality.

The examples of what constitutes body negativity, body positivity and body neutrality were eye-opening and helpful. Even as someone steeped in fat acceptance, I found many subtle ways in which I am letting the fatphobia creep in, and identifying them was extremely helpful. The in depth discussion of body neutrality (as opposed to the relentless construction of self love often foisted on fat people by the same industries that aim to capitalize on our self-hate) was very refreshing and helped me gain a new understanding of how to treat my body and my body image. The “exercises” were thoughtful and not overwhelming, it is clear that Harman is offering strategies from a place of genuine compassion and understanding.

This is an amazing read that quickly and concisely serves as primer for starting a good relationship with your body, your eating and your choices about movement.

[Suz Jay · Rating 4 out of 5]

PERFECTLY IMPERFECT is a concise primer on development of a positive body image. I liked the design of the book and the calming soft color palette. The book consists of five chapters covering: seeing yourself, looking around yourself, embracing yourself, caring for yourself, and sitting with yourself. An introduction, resources, references, and index are also included.

The book states the hallmarks of positive body image include respect, appreciation, acceptance, trust, and kindness. Having body image issues can be an actual internal battle. The author mentions that peace is used to describe a positive relationship with one’s body and that a negative relationship with one’s body has the markers of fighting. Then book suggests using positive affirmations, eliminating the need for perfectionism, seeing balance, mindfulness, self care, and using positive self talk. Throughout the book, tips are included as well as quizzes and examples.

The author is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a certified eating disorder specialist. While I enjoyed the book and liked how social media and other relevant issues were addressed, I wanted the book to delve deeper into the issues and provide more of a robust action plan. I especially liked the last chapter with its focus on self care, triggers, relapses, and staying the course.

[Janene · Rating 4 out of 5]

The timing is coincidental -- but I just also finished a book on the science of friendship, and how crucial friendships are for us ... so I'm thinking a lot about relationships and how healthy ones are absolutely vital to our well-being, our WHOLE well-being.

Those thoughts were settling in just as I picked up this quick read. If we're lucky, we have many healthy relationships throughout our lives, but I've never really thought much of that one partnership that lasts my ENTIRE life. The relationship I have with my body. Is it positive and nurturing and encouraging? Is it a negative battleground? This is important territory! No doubt I've had my ups and downs. For those with an eating disorder or a negative body image, the relationship could be seen as broken, or at the very least dysfunctional. This book is first aid. Thoughtful challenges and kind, practical advice. Recommend as a valuable resource -- a counterargument to the diet and body perfection culture that inundates.

Took it onto my shelves when I noticed it was written by an old friend from college (Hi, Amy! :) and I love knowing more about her work. Happy that I got a peek at the ways she is making a difference -- reading this made a positive one for me!

[Jackie Lantern · Rating 5 out of 5]

I like this philosophy a lot. I think people are way too hard on themselves because of the unrealistic images the media bombards them with from birth, pretty much on a daily basis. Many other reasons behind low self confidence ... organized religion denigrating adherents, abusive parents or partners, the list goes on forever, Good ideas contained herein, it’s just getting people to believe them is ultimately the most difficult part.

As an aside, I’d zhuzh up the cover a bit more. Ditch the wide empty space and compression of all the text into the bottom 1/3 of the cover.

All in all, a well written piece I wish people would take to heart.

[Nikki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Perfectly Imperfect, Compassionate Strategies to Cultivate a Positive Body Image by Amy Harman, LMFT, CEDS
Publisher: Callisto Media, Rockridge Press
Genre: Self-Help
Release Date: August 11, 2020

This book was packed with so many tips for developing a more positive body image. It was very eye opening to some of the ways I reinforce my own negative body image and there were tips to help work on that.

I'm so grateful for NetGalley and the publisher who provided me with a free copy of this ebook in exchange for my honest review.

[Maxine Angeli Quijano · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is my first time to read a book that mainly focuses on self-love and body positivity. It's a good read. However, there are some points that seems too repetitive to me. Amy Harman could've put all her words into a single blog than a book. Nonetheless, I like how she's able to connect to the audience. She knows what she's talking about.

Two stars for me! I admit, I highlighted some of her words on my Kindle. One of my favorite passages from the book is "it's what you do and who you are that makes you a beautiful person." To that, I agree.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is short and sweet but is a nice guide for body positivity. It discusses the morality and shame that is so often associated with health and weight and helps the reader see that the body is much more important for the instrument it is and the things it can do, rather than looking nice. Amy repeata multiple times through the book how negative body image is not a problem with the body, but with other internal struggles. Overall, this was a nice book!

[JADE · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was not that insightful as I thought it would be. General common sense stuff you could easily Google, and info I already knew…the only helpful thing for me was chapter 4. Aside from that the book offers some exercises to work on for yourself but you have to be consistent. This book is not a quick fix, but definitely a quick read.

[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I definitely have mixed feelings about this book. overall it was a very insightful read, geared towards changing the way we think and how we have been programmed on what beauty should look like through the media. there are some good tips in the book that can help everyone struggling with self-compassion.

[Brig · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am definitely biased, but even so I think this is a well written and helpful book. The author knows her stuff, and the book written in an understandable way with lots of helpful action steps you can take to improve your body image as you work your way through the book.

[Margaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars - a helpful book to promote a new way of thinking about my body and my relationship with it. There were a few things I'm still struggling to agree with though.

[Bea Guerrero · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick read and lots of good ideas.

[Kim Gorman she-her · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good ideas, but no clear strategies to help.

[Mikayla Beckman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nothing groundbreaking

[lisa dishman · Rating 5 out of 5]

easy to read

I found it understandable and logical
It made sense to me
I’ll work on something’s as a result
I learnt alot

[Reagan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sort of common sense stuff but still nice to have reminders. My therapist gave this to me before she quit so it kinda gets me a little in my feelings.

[Kimberly Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the first book I read this year, and I’m so glad it was. It feels like the most hopeful start to 2022 I could make!