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Nurture by Nature: Understand Your Child's Personality Type - And Become A Better Parent
Every parent knows that children, even babies, have distinct personalities. Any parent with more than one child is probably well aware of how different from each other children, even siblings, can be. So it's only natural that the parenting strategies that work with one child may be less effective with another child.
How can you be sure that your nurturing is well suited to your child? With this one-of-a-kind parenting guide, you can use Personality Type analysis - a powerful and well-respected psychological tool - to understand your child better and become a more effective parent. In Nurture by Nature you'll learn which of 16 distinctly different types best matches your child's personality; how this personality type affects your child in each of the three stages of development - preschool, school age, and adolescence; how other parents, whose experiences are recounted in scores of case studies, deal with a wide array of challenging situations you may encounter: reining in a preschooler whose boundless energy constantly gets him into trouble; communicating with a child who keeps her thoughts and feelings secret; understanding an adolescent who seems not to care that he is forever losing things (his homework, his baseball cap, his keys); broadening the horizons of a child who resists trying anything new or unfamiliar...; and how you can adapt your parenting style to your child's type - and get better results when communicating, supporting, motivating, and disciplining.
Whether your child is a tantrum-prone toddler, a shy third-grader, a rebellious teen, or somewhere in between, Nurture by Nature will give you the power to understand why children are the way they are - and to become the best parent you can be.
How can you be sure that your nurturing is well suited to your child? With this one-of-a-kind parenting guide, you can use Personality Type analysis - a powerful and well-respected psychological tool - to understand your child better and become a more effective parent. In Nurture by Nature you'll learn which of 16 distinctly different types best matches your child's personality; how this personality type affects your child in each of the three stages of development - preschool, school age, and adolescence; how other parents, whose experiences are recounted in scores of case studies, deal with a wide array of challenging situations you may encounter: reining in a preschooler whose boundless energy constantly gets him into trouble; communicating with a child who keeps her thoughts and feelings secret; understanding an adolescent who seems not to care that he is forever losing things (his homework, his baseball cap, his keys); broadening the horizons of a child who resists trying anything new or unfamiliar...; and how you can adapt your parenting style to your child's type - and get better results when communicating, supporting, motivating, and disciplining.
Whether your child is a tantrum-prone toddler, a shy third-grader, a rebellious teen, or somewhere in between, Nurture by Nature will give you the power to understand why children are the way they are - and to become the best parent you can be.
304 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 1997
110 people are currently reading
1059 people want to read
About the author
Paul D. Tieger
18 books38 followersThrough his ground-breaking book Do What You Are, Paul Tieger changed how career counseling is conducted around the world. The author of five books on Personality type and the preeminent expert in this field, Paul has helped over one million people find career satisfaction and success. On any given day, Do What You Are is the most or second most popular career book on Amazon.com.
from http://www.personalitytype.com/blog/
from http://www.personalitytype.com/blog/
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 83 reviews
August 20, 2011
This book takes the Myers Briggs Type Indicator and applies it to parenting. The book is supposed to help parents identify their child's personality type, so that they can then parent them in a way that best suits the child's needs as well as the parents'.
I like the fact that the book shows that children are individuals, and that a one size fits all approach to parenting tends not to work. The book could really give a parent insight into a child who is vey different from the way the parent is (say, a very extroverted mom or dad who can't quite understand why his/her child would rather read a book or play with a chemistry set than go play with a group of kids). It can also help the parent understand why some discipline techniques that work really well with one child completely fail with another. The book talks about all these sorts of issues - school, discipline, overall behaviour, etc.
The problem I have with the book is that I think is difficult to identify some children's preferences, particularly in the more complex areas of a person's type. It's rather easy to tell if someone is an extravert vs. an introvert. Other things, like sensing vs intuitive, or judging vs. perceiving are more difficult to assess in a child. I found it hard to determine the type of the child I was thinking of. Where the book is more useful is knowing your own type, and looking at how your child might respond to it.
Although I'm not convinced that the Myers-Briggs Type Indictor is a valid instrument to use with children, I do believe this book can still give parents and other adults who interact with kids a good broad base of understanding of how temperment is displayed in children. For that alone, the book is worth looking at. I would reccommend getting the book out of the library and skimming a few chapters to see if you like the book and think it will be useful to you before you spend the money to purchase it outright.
I like the fact that the book shows that children are individuals, and that a one size fits all approach to parenting tends not to work. The book could really give a parent insight into a child who is vey different from the way the parent is (say, a very extroverted mom or dad who can't quite understand why his/her child would rather read a book or play with a chemistry set than go play with a group of kids). It can also help the parent understand why some discipline techniques that work really well with one child completely fail with another. The book talks about all these sorts of issues - school, discipline, overall behaviour, etc.
The problem I have with the book is that I think is difficult to identify some children's preferences, particularly in the more complex areas of a person's type. It's rather easy to tell if someone is an extravert vs. an introvert. Other things, like sensing vs intuitive, or judging vs. perceiving are more difficult to assess in a child. I found it hard to determine the type of the child I was thinking of. Where the book is more useful is knowing your own type, and looking at how your child might respond to it.
Although I'm not convinced that the Myers-Briggs Type Indictor is a valid instrument to use with children, I do believe this book can still give parents and other adults who interact with kids a good broad base of understanding of how temperment is displayed in children. For that alone, the book is worth looking at. I would reccommend getting the book out of the library and skimming a few chapters to see if you like the book and think it will be useful to you before you spend the money to purchase it outright.
August 1, 2009
We have really enjoyed reading this book. My husband has been taking it to work and reading it on his breaks so I haven't finished it yet, but I like what I have read so far.
This book aims at helping parents understand the differences in each child and their similarities, how to effectively discipline and teach each child important lessons based on their personality type, and their way of learning and taking in information. As a parent you can gain greater insight on what inspires each child, what motivates them, what is most important to them, what is the most challenging and weakest for them, and what areas you need to be sensitive to. As a parent you can help each child gain confidence by discovering and developing their strengths and talents. By doing so your children will have greater self-esteem that can help them become successful adults in all aspects of their life.
This book covers all ages of children as well, even teenage years and adulthood. I know some parents that really struggled with their teenage children and with not understanding why they were the way they were and it put a lot of strains on their communication and relationship. This book could have been helpful for them in so many ways. Even a sit down with your child and going over your personalities together can provide opportunities to talk, discuss, and share which can create a stronger bond between you and your child, a better understanding of each other, and hopefully an improvement in future communications between the two of you.
I have always been interested in personality books and these are the most detailed and accurate personality books I have ever come across and I prefer this typing more than any other I have come across. It is definitely worth anyone's time to try to understand their children, themselves and how to work together to create a stronger bond and I feel this book can help any parent even though I have not finished it yet.
This book aims at helping parents understand the differences in each child and their similarities, how to effectively discipline and teach each child important lessons based on their personality type, and their way of learning and taking in information. As a parent you can gain greater insight on what inspires each child, what motivates them, what is most important to them, what is the most challenging and weakest for them, and what areas you need to be sensitive to. As a parent you can help each child gain confidence by discovering and developing their strengths and talents. By doing so your children will have greater self-esteem that can help them become successful adults in all aspects of their life.
This book covers all ages of children as well, even teenage years and adulthood. I know some parents that really struggled with their teenage children and with not understanding why they were the way they were and it put a lot of strains on their communication and relationship. This book could have been helpful for them in so many ways. Even a sit down with your child and going over your personalities together can provide opportunities to talk, discuss, and share which can create a stronger bond between you and your child, a better understanding of each other, and hopefully an improvement in future communications between the two of you.
I have always been interested in personality books and these are the most detailed and accurate personality books I have ever come across and I prefer this typing more than any other I have come across. It is definitely worth anyone's time to try to understand their children, themselves and how to work together to create a stronger bond and I feel this book can help any parent even though I have not finished it yet.
June 7, 2009
I loved this book! It was so fascinating to me to find my children's personality types and to understand more why they do the things they do. It helped me to understand why it takes 20 minutes for Jayden to get dressed, why he is such a picky eater, and why Ashlyn pushes all limits. It really has helped me to instead of automatically get after them, to step back and realize they are not just trying to make me mad and be naughty, it's just part of who they are and their individual learning processes. This book tells do's and don'ts for each personality specifically. I think all parents must read this book!
August 5, 2010
This book really is great! I can tell I already have more patience with my kids because I understand their motivations better. I also can see that it's ok not to parent my kids exactly the same...because what works for one doesn't work as well for the other. It was funny to read my husband his type. It was very accurate. I highly recommend that every person, especially every parent, read this book!
November 22, 2012
This book is really helpful in helping to understand children's personality types and to parent them with these personality types in mind. I have come back to it repeatedly to better understand my kids, to see their strengths and tendencies, and to be reminded of parenting strategies for their types.
August 6, 2010
Great parenting tool to use when your children are so different from you. It helped me understand why my kids did things that made no sense to me at all.
May 12, 2015
Fascinating! This is definitely a book worth owning and one that will be referenced for years to come.
April 18, 2022
I was primarily interested in reading about personality types in order to better understand one of my children, so this seemed like a perfect place to start. I found it well-written and insightful.
Many readers or prospective readers are appropriately skeptical about typing a child’s personality, and I felt like the book was open about the difficulty and did not make claims that it was always possible or permanent. They actually lead you through descriptions of the various aspects (I vs E, etc), relying on a parent’s familiarity with their child rather than rely on a quiz. They make no grandiose claims, which are so common in parenting books. So on that level, I was pleased.
It was fairly easy to identify my 12 year old (the child inspiring the research), but much trickier with my younger children. In the end, I was content to narrow to a few types and read in generalities. My goal was not to perfect ascribe a four-letter combination that would absolutely define each of my children for the rest of their lives, but to get some insight into how they may be thinking/feeling and needing from their parents.
In terms of the actionability of the advice, I did find plenty of ideas to consider going forward. It’s worth mentioning that I felt discouraged that some of the advice is for ages which precede the ability to identify personality types. In other words, I felt fairly confident about my tween’s type, but the opportunity to use advice for preschool aged child has passed. However, that’s not really a fault of the book or authors and could likely be said for any parenting-related book.
I also read, and found helpful, Please Understand Me: Character and Temperament Types.
Many readers or prospective readers are appropriately skeptical about typing a child’s personality, and I felt like the book was open about the difficulty and did not make claims that it was always possible or permanent. They actually lead you through descriptions of the various aspects (I vs E, etc), relying on a parent’s familiarity with their child rather than rely on a quiz. They make no grandiose claims, which are so common in parenting books. So on that level, I was pleased.
It was fairly easy to identify my 12 year old (the child inspiring the research), but much trickier with my younger children. In the end, I was content to narrow to a few types and read in generalities. My goal was not to perfect ascribe a four-letter combination that would absolutely define each of my children for the rest of their lives, but to get some insight into how they may be thinking/feeling and needing from their parents.
In terms of the actionability of the advice, I did find plenty of ideas to consider going forward. It’s worth mentioning that I felt discouraged that some of the advice is for ages which precede the ability to identify personality types. In other words, I felt fairly confident about my tween’s type, but the opportunity to use advice for preschool aged child has passed. However, that’s not really a fault of the book or authors and could likely be said for any parenting-related book.
I also read, and found helpful, Please Understand Me: Character and Temperament Types.
July 15, 2018
Nurture by Nature by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger was recommended to me by a friend because I was having a hard time jiving with one of my boys. After determining each of our personality types I can confirm that we are all VERY different! Nurture by Nature helped me to understand why.
Tieger and Barron-Tieger do an excellent job of making the Myers-Briggs personality profiles simple and straightforward.
There are two parts to this book.
Part one explains each of the 8 personality traits (I or E, S or N, F or T, J or P) and how people typically express them.
In part two of the book the authors take the reader o an in-depth tour of each of the possible combinations of personalities (there are 16 possibilities total).
With real life stories, anecdotes and advice Nurture by Nature helps the adult reader understand how best to relate to a child based off of their innate personality and uniqueness. Their tips and tricks help to clarify what to do if the child's personality is different from the reader's personality. This could potentially vastly improve family dynamics if parents and children could learn to relate to each other well despite personality differences.
All in all I have to say that Nurture by Nature is a must have book for anyone that works with children regularly whether at home or in a professional setting. I give it a solid A+ and strongly encourage you to pick up a copy. This is a book that I would recommend buying rather than borrowing so that you can mark in the pages, take notes, and refer back to it often.
Tieger and Barron-Tieger do an excellent job of making the Myers-Briggs personality profiles simple and straightforward.
There are two parts to this book.
Part one explains each of the 8 personality traits (I or E, S or N, F or T, J or P) and how people typically express them.
In part two of the book the authors take the reader o an in-depth tour of each of the possible combinations of personalities (there are 16 possibilities total).
With real life stories, anecdotes and advice Nurture by Nature helps the adult reader understand how best to relate to a child based off of their innate personality and uniqueness. Their tips and tricks help to clarify what to do if the child's personality is different from the reader's personality. This could potentially vastly improve family dynamics if parents and children could learn to relate to each other well despite personality differences.
All in all I have to say that Nurture by Nature is a must have book for anyone that works with children regularly whether at home or in a professional setting. I give it a solid A+ and strongly encourage you to pick up a copy. This is a book that I would recommend buying rather than borrowing so that you can mark in the pages, take notes, and refer back to it often.
October 27, 2017
Parenting can be hard. Children are born with unique personalities and temperaments. This book helps you identify your children's personality type (and yours too!) and temperament so it can help give you "the power to understand why children are the way they are - and to become the best parent you can be." Who doesn't want to be the best parent they can be!? Lots of great insight! My kids have very different personalities so this helped me understand how it is okay and important to use different parenting styles for each child!
August 5, 2025
I came across Nurtured by Nature through Brett Cooper’s email newsletter and decided to check it out. This book offers a fascinating look at parenting through the lens of personality types, specifically using the Myers-Briggs framework.
Even as an adult and not currently a parent, I found the insights really eye-opening—especially as an INFP myself. It helped me reflect on my own childhood and personality in a new way. I honestly wish I had access to a resource like this when I was younger.
The book is practical and well-organized, making it a great reference for anyone wanting to better understand how children’s personalities shape their behavior and needs. While new parents might find it challenging to read cover-to-cover, it’s definitely a valuable guide to return to again and again.
I would recommend this book not only to expectant or new parents but also to anyone curious about personality types and how they influence personal development.
Even as an adult and not currently a parent, I found the insights really eye-opening—especially as an INFP myself. It helped me reflect on my own childhood and personality in a new way. I honestly wish I had access to a resource like this when I was younger.
The book is practical and well-organized, making it a great reference for anyone wanting to better understand how children’s personalities shape their behavior and needs. While new parents might find it challenging to read cover-to-cover, it’s definitely a valuable guide to return to again and again.
I would recommend this book not only to expectant or new parents but also to anyone curious about personality types and how they influence personal development.
August 4, 2020
This was a true labor of love for me! I spent 2 months studying this book to help me not only as a parent but also as a school counselor. I took notes and learned so much from this book! It’s amazing to read how we become who we are in the beginning stages of our lives. It gave me so much more insight into personalities and I could see how the traits translated in adulthood. It also gave me a deeper understanding of each personality. I was able to see how my parents, family, and friends were growing up. Every parent and every person should read this book!
June 18, 2023
I’ve always been intrigued by the 16 personality types. This book is fun and interesting. Do you need to know your child’s personality to better raise them? Absolutely NOT just being an involved, present parent; you know your child’s quirks and triggers, how they respond to different circumstances. But it’s intriguing to find a personality type that matches your kid and their suggestions on how to help/guide them are helpful.
Fun book
Fun book
October 7, 2017
This may be the most helpful parenting book I’ve ever read because it has helped me understand my children better. It is based on the Myers-Briggs temperament typing system and it’ was what I needed at the time - I also find myself rereading sections as needed. The authors do make applications sometimes that I do not agree with, but I still have it 5 stars bc it has helped me so much!
November 12, 2017
I found this book to be fascinating even though I do not have children. I appreciated how it gave an in depth look at personality type and how it shows up in children. I also appreciated the overall values of acceptance and love that filled each type chapter. I felt it helped me to better understand myself and others and have more compassion for both myself and others.
January 5, 2025
I know for some people it does not resonate but for me, my Myers Brigg Personality Type is spot-on (INFJ)! My daughter and my husband are almost polar opposite from me, which caused a lot of conflict until my daughter took the test at school and we were able to discuss and appreciate our differences! Highly recommend taking the test to find out your personal type and that of those close to you!
February 16, 2019
Interesting definitely, but also a little much. It's good to understand personality differences, especially when parenting. But I also think it's a little limiting. I think personality has more plasticity than this book gives it credit for.
October 19, 2017
Not my favorite
This was not my favorite book on parenting children. I would have liked something more geared towards toddlers. The target age is 4 in this book.
This was not my favorite book on parenting children. I would have liked something more geared towards toddlers. The target age is 4 in this book.
May 18, 2015
Scary good! Hits the hammer on the head when it comes to understanding your child's personality type. It also helped me understand my spouse better and why my girls seem to fight endlessly--they are truly exact opposites. My family's types (can't wait to see what Mr. O is..):
Kyle is ESTJ: "Friendly, outgoing, and confident.. Like to be around, and in charge of, lots of people.. Hold strong opinions about right and wrong.. Like to make things happen.. Realistic and literal.."
I'm ISTJ: "Quiet, thoughtful, and conscientious.. Think things through fully before they speak.. Great powers of concentration.. May appear disinterested or uncaring about what is going on with people around them.. Intensely private people.. Like order.. Strong need for information before action.. Tend to see life in black-and-white terms.. Don't readily see alternatives and often have trouble adapting to change.."
M1 is INFJ: "Rich inner life, which is highly imaginative and capable of seeing unique possibilities everywhere.. Reserved and cautious.. Reluctant to reveal their true and highly creative selves with others.. Quiet, gentle, and sensitive.. Rarely very assertive.. Choose only a few, intimate friends.. Highly empathetic and very nurturing.. Strong need for harmony.. Want to be appreciated for their thoughtfulness and their accomplishments.. Organized and efficient.. Like to be in control.."
M2 is ESTP: "Energetic and full of spunk.. Have boundless physical energy and a fearless attitude toward life.. Great coordination and agility.. Love moving fast, climbing high, jumping off tall things, swinging, riding, dancing, twirling, and any other sort of wild, loud, or exciting movement.. Don't mind being dirty or messy.. Funny, irreverent, and even outrageous.. Love surprising and entertaining others with their clown-like antics.. Usually popular and well-liked for their playful, friendly, easygoing nature.. Big talkers.. Enjoy humor and physical action.. Their only agenda seems to be to have fun.. Often forgetting about the rules or busy finding ways around them.. Tend to deflect responsibility.. Are able to come up with quick and endless excuses.."
Kyle is ESTJ: "Friendly, outgoing, and confident.. Like to be around, and in charge of, lots of people.. Hold strong opinions about right and wrong.. Like to make things happen.. Realistic and literal.."
I'm ISTJ: "Quiet, thoughtful, and conscientious.. Think things through fully before they speak.. Great powers of concentration.. May appear disinterested or uncaring about what is going on with people around them.. Intensely private people.. Like order.. Strong need for information before action.. Tend to see life in black-and-white terms.. Don't readily see alternatives and often have trouble adapting to change.."
M1 is INFJ: "Rich inner life, which is highly imaginative and capable of seeing unique possibilities everywhere.. Reserved and cautious.. Reluctant to reveal their true and highly creative selves with others.. Quiet, gentle, and sensitive.. Rarely very assertive.. Choose only a few, intimate friends.. Highly empathetic and very nurturing.. Strong need for harmony.. Want to be appreciated for their thoughtfulness and their accomplishments.. Organized and efficient.. Like to be in control.."
M2 is ESTP: "Energetic and full of spunk.. Have boundless physical energy and a fearless attitude toward life.. Great coordination and agility.. Love moving fast, climbing high, jumping off tall things, swinging, riding, dancing, twirling, and any other sort of wild, loud, or exciting movement.. Don't mind being dirty or messy.. Funny, irreverent, and even outrageous.. Love surprising and entertaining others with their clown-like antics.. Usually popular and well-liked for their playful, friendly, easygoing nature.. Big talkers.. Enjoy humor and physical action.. Their only agenda seems to be to have fun.. Often forgetting about the rules or busy finding ways around them.. Tend to deflect responsibility.. Are able to come up with quick and endless excuses.."
June 3, 2015
Nurture by Nature ranks as one of the all-time most helpful parenting books I’ve ever read. The book begins with the premise that many (not all, but many) parenting issues are actually rooted in how we relate to our kids. In other words, the problem is not always what is happening but how it is going down. By understanding our own temperaments and the different temperaments our children possess, we can overcome many misunderstandings of motive and intent, and parent our child in the way that is best for his or her particular bent.
I have read a bunch of personality books, but they make it hard to type kids because they are geared toward adults. As adults, we’ve had years to learn how to cope with our weaknesses, how to function in our society, and how to relate to other people. Kids are still learning those things. So a child manifests a personality type in different ways than many adults. This book does an INCREDIBLE job of helping parents pinpoint differences between personality distinctions using the Myers-Briggs types, which is, while not perfect, a pretty nuanced framework. The authors walk through distinctions between each of the letter pairs as they apply to children, and then how children evidence each individual Myers-Briggs type by age. I found it enormously helpful to see how each type behaves in age brackets—birth to preschool, elementary kids, and teens—especially because those sections highlight particular challenges for different types of parents with that type of child, as well as techniques that really work for that type and stage and how to show your love and support in a way the child can understand.
{Read the rest of my review here}
I have read a bunch of personality books, but they make it hard to type kids because they are geared toward adults. As adults, we’ve had years to learn how to cope with our weaknesses, how to function in our society, and how to relate to other people. Kids are still learning those things. So a child manifests a personality type in different ways than many adults. This book does an INCREDIBLE job of helping parents pinpoint differences between personality distinctions using the Myers-Briggs types, which is, while not perfect, a pretty nuanced framework. The authors walk through distinctions between each of the letter pairs as they apply to children, and then how children evidence each individual Myers-Briggs type by age. I found it enormously helpful to see how each type behaves in age brackets—birth to preschool, elementary kids, and teens—especially because those sections highlight particular challenges for different types of parents with that type of child, as well as techniques that really work for that type and stage and how to show your love and support in a way the child can understand.
{Read the rest of my review here}
April 25, 2013
Nurture by Nature is not a traditional parenting book in that it doesn't recommend a specific style. Rather, it recommends individualizing your own parenting style based on the personality of your child. The book covers the Myers Briggs personality assessment and applies it to children, giving recommendations on how to best tailor your parenting for the given type.
I liked this book because it espouses my own parenting philosophy - that it should be tailored based on your child's own unique personality and temperament. Even though each personality type has a series of recommendations, the book is always careful to state that children are individuals and yours may not fully conform to certain profiles that are depicted. The book recommends waiting until the child is 5 or 6 before applying much of the personality traits to your child, which I think is a sound recommendation. Even though I could guess as to which type my daughter will be, it's hard to say how much of her behavior is her inherent personality and how much is just general toddler development.
The book is shorter than what it initially seems because it goes into depth for each personality type, whereas I only really focused on one or two types.
Fast, recommended reading for parents who want to learn more about their children's personalities, or people who have to deal with many children of differing personalities.
I liked this book because it espouses my own parenting philosophy - that it should be tailored based on your child's own unique personality and temperament. Even though each personality type has a series of recommendations, the book is always careful to state that children are individuals and yours may not fully conform to certain profiles that are depicted. The book recommends waiting until the child is 5 or 6 before applying much of the personality traits to your child, which I think is a sound recommendation. Even though I could guess as to which type my daughter will be, it's hard to say how much of her behavior is her inherent personality and how much is just general toddler development.
The book is shorter than what it initially seems because it goes into depth for each personality type, whereas I only really focused on one or two types.
Fast, recommended reading for parents who want to learn more about their children's personalities, or people who have to deal with many children of differing personalities.
September 16, 2009
Since I don't own this book right now I want to keep a record of my notes for future reference. I thought it was really interesting to type mine and my children's personalities. It answered some questions I had in mind in how to deal with certain situations I saw rising in our family. Here are my notes:
*Preston is an ESTJ, a traditionalist with his lead thinking
*Eliza is an ESFP (although she is still pretty young and this could possibly change. It really seemed to fit her though), and experiencer with her lead sensing
*I am an ISFJ, a traditionalist with my lead sensing (although I felt like my lead is more feeling or atleast feeling right up there with sensing). I am a traditionalist, but I have a teeny bit of idealist in me in that it's important to me to understand people and communicate effectively. I have a secret desire to be a conceptualizer, however I am so not there.
*Preston is an ESTJ, a traditionalist with his lead thinking
*Eliza is an ESFP (although she is still pretty young and this could possibly change. It really seemed to fit her though), and experiencer with her lead sensing
*I am an ISFJ, a traditionalist with my lead sensing (although I felt like my lead is more feeling or atleast feeling right up there with sensing). I am a traditionalist, but I have a teeny bit of idealist in me in that it's important to me to understand people and communicate effectively. I have a secret desire to be a conceptualizer, however I am so not there.
June 5, 2015
This book was so entertaining! I found myself laughing out loud a few times as some of the descriptions of certain personality types were so spot on for my daughter. Coming from a family with very different personalities among each member, I have definitely learned that understanding the natural tendencies of each person can be so helpful to maintaining a positive relationship. It is too easy to lose patience and cast judgement/blame when you lack understanding of the traits that are hard wired and very hard to control/change in each person. This is why I sought out a book to help me identify the natural strengths/weaknesses of my children based on their personality types and also the parenting strategies that are most effective with those types. I loved how there were examples and recommendations for each age group and if anything I would have loved even more detail. I will definitely need to reread once my kids are a little older.
July 6, 2013
This was more helpful for understanding my husband and myself than my kids, as both my husband and I have take a 16 personality type test and our kids have not. I had to guess, with guidance from the authors, what my kids types were.
After "typing" them all, I read the corresponding information. Some of it was true but most was not. I think this is because what the authors said is true, sometimes you can predict a child's type at age four and sometimes not until later. My kids fall on the later side.
There were some valuable insights about the different types that helped me understand a few core motivations and needs, but no one type worked with one child, I don't consider this a failure on the authors part, I consider it an area that is just waiting for further information from my side. And the there is no rush.
After "typing" them all, I read the corresponding information. Some of it was true but most was not. I think this is because what the authors said is true, sometimes you can predict a child's type at age four and sometimes not until later. My kids fall on the later side.
There were some valuable insights about the different types that helped me understand a few core motivations and needs, but no one type worked with one child, I don't consider this a failure on the authors part, I consider it an area that is just waiting for further information from my side. And the there is no rush.
April 6, 2015
I'm pretty sure I remember reading this book as a teenager, wanting to know what it said about teenage me. Now I'm reading it as an adult, wanting to know what it says about my child. I read it front-to-back, reading the full description of every one of the sixteen types, just because.
I learned that my daughter is, I'm pretty sure, an INFJ, because that description of a preschool-aged INFJ is comically her. It's like someone has been doing undercover surveillance in my home. I think I've lucked out. I'm an INFP, and the needs and inclinations of her type and mine are pretty similar.
I have also learned that if I ever have an Extrovert child, I am going to have a challenge on my hands. My Introvert-tendencies are going to leave me baffled as to what to do with this person. I guess if that ever happens, it will be back to this book for me.
I learned that my daughter is, I'm pretty sure, an INFJ, because that description of a preschool-aged INFJ is comically her. It's like someone has been doing undercover surveillance in my home. I think I've lucked out. I'm an INFP, and the needs and inclinations of her type and mine are pretty similar.
I have also learned that if I ever have an Extrovert child, I am going to have a challenge on my hands. My Introvert-tendencies are going to leave me baffled as to what to do with this person. I guess if that ever happens, it will be back to this book for me.
September 1, 2016
I had studied the Meyers-Briggs as part of a psychology course and I view it as a fanastic guideline and a tool for working towards a better understanding of differences, rather than anything set in stone. When I told my partner about it (pre-children) it made a lot of sense to him too, and it actually helped us understand one another better. So I already had a rough idea before purchasing this book which personality types my children would be, and this confirmed my instincts. It also gave me some terrific tips for adapting my parenting and our home environment to mesh with their personality types and to save us all some strife. It has been a while since I read it though, so I must revisit it again soon.
March 19, 2012
This books uses the Meyer-Briggs personality indicators and applies them to children from birth to adolescence. For each of the personality types there is advice on how to deal with potential difficulties and also a summary page.
The book does not use a questionnaire to help identify the types but describes each of the four opposing aspects that make up a type: extroversion/introversion, sensing/intuiting, judging/perceiving, feeling/thinking. From each of these description, you chose the characteristic that fits your child and then look up the relevant description.
I found it quite hard to type my children but the book was useful none-the-less, especially in the introjection it facilitated resulting in increased understanding of my children.
The book does not use a questionnaire to help identify the types but describes each of the four opposing aspects that make up a type: extroversion/introversion, sensing/intuiting, judging/perceiving, feeling/thinking. From each of these description, you chose the characteristic that fits your child and then look up the relevant description.
I found it quite hard to type my children but the book was useful none-the-less, especially in the introjection it facilitated resulting in increased understanding of my children.
February 23, 2008
Every parent should read this book. It is a clear, practical, and uplifting exploration of how to use the Myers-Briggs personality type system first to better understand your child (and yourself) and then to find more effective ways to communicate, teach, and discipline. It will probably make your relationship with your child much better and foster more mutual understanding, respect, and appreciation. It was quite helpful to me when my own kids were teenagers (although it would have been even better if I'd known what it taught me when they were born), and in turn I've recommended it for their use with my grandchildren.
November 14, 2011
I read this book when my son was 6 and I was already struggling with our relationship. This book helped me understand why he was the way he was and helped me find ways to relate to him better. It even included ideal disciplinary tactics! Shortly after he was identified as gifted, which was the final piece of the puzzle with him. This book made me feel better as a parent!
My biggest complaint is that while it did help identify my daughter's personality, it gave very little advice for how to deal with her personality. I know now that her difficult personality will always make her a tough nut to crack!
My biggest complaint is that while it did help identify my daughter's personality, it gave very little advice for how to deal with her personality. I know now that her difficult personality will always make her a tough nut to crack!
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