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Lilyville: Mother, Daughter, and Other Roles I've Played
This heartwarming and funny memoir from a beloved actress tells the story of a mother and daughter whose narrative reflects American cultural changes and the world's shifting expectations of women.
From Golda to Ginsburg, Yentl to Mama Rose, Tallulah to the Queen of Mean, Tovah Feldshuh has always played powerful women who aren't afraid to sit at the table with the big boys and rule their world. But offstage, Tovah struggled to fulfill the one role she never auditioned for: Lily Feldshuh's only daughter.
Growing up in Scarsdale, NY in the 1950s, Tovah—known then by her given name Terri Sue—lived a life of piano lessons, dance lessons, shopping trips, and white-gloved cultural trips into Manhattan. In awe of her mother's meticulous appearance and perfect manners, Tovah spent her childhood striving for Lily's approval, only to feel as though she always fell short. Lily's own dreams were beside the point; instead, she devoted herself to Tovah's father Sidney and her two children. Tovah watched Lily retreat into the roles of the perfect housewife and mother and swore to herself, I will never do this.
When Tovah shot to stardom with the Broadway hit Yentl, winning five awards for her performance, she still did not garner her mother's approval. But, it was her success in another sphere that finally gained Lily's attention. After falling in love with a Harvard-educated lawyer and having children, Tovah found it was easier to understand her mother and the sacrifices she had made during the era of the women's movement, the sexual revolution, and the subsequent mandate for women to "have it all."
Beloved as he had been by both women, Sidney's passing made room for the love that had failed to take root during his life. In her new independence, Lily became outspoken, witty, and profane. "Don't tell Daddy this," Lily whispered to Tovah, "but these are the best years of my life." She lived until 103.
In this insightful, compelling, often hilarious and always illuminating memoir, Tovah shares the highs and lows of a remarkable career that has spanned five decades, and shares the lessons that she has learned, often the hard way, about how to live a life in the spotlight, strive for excellence, and still get along with your mother. Through their evolving relationship we see how expectations for women changed, with a daughter performing her heart out to gain her mother's approval and a mother becoming liberated from her confining roles of wife and mother to become her full self.
From Golda to Ginsburg, Yentl to Mama Rose, Tallulah to the Queen of Mean, Tovah Feldshuh has always played powerful women who aren't afraid to sit at the table with the big boys and rule their world. But offstage, Tovah struggled to fulfill the one role she never auditioned for: Lily Feldshuh's only daughter.
Growing up in Scarsdale, NY in the 1950s, Tovah—known then by her given name Terri Sue—lived a life of piano lessons, dance lessons, shopping trips, and white-gloved cultural trips into Manhattan. In awe of her mother's meticulous appearance and perfect manners, Tovah spent her childhood striving for Lily's approval, only to feel as though she always fell short. Lily's own dreams were beside the point; instead, she devoted herself to Tovah's father Sidney and her two children. Tovah watched Lily retreat into the roles of the perfect housewife and mother and swore to herself, I will never do this.
When Tovah shot to stardom with the Broadway hit Yentl, winning five awards for her performance, she still did not garner her mother's approval. But, it was her success in another sphere that finally gained Lily's attention. After falling in love with a Harvard-educated lawyer and having children, Tovah found it was easier to understand her mother and the sacrifices she had made during the era of the women's movement, the sexual revolution, and the subsequent mandate for women to "have it all."
Beloved as he had been by both women, Sidney's passing made room for the love that had failed to take root during his life. In her new independence, Lily became outspoken, witty, and profane. "Don't tell Daddy this," Lily whispered to Tovah, "but these are the best years of my life." She lived until 103.
In this insightful, compelling, often hilarious and always illuminating memoir, Tovah shares the highs and lows of a remarkable career that has spanned five decades, and shares the lessons that she has learned, often the hard way, about how to live a life in the spotlight, strive for excellence, and still get along with your mother. Through their evolving relationship we see how expectations for women changed, with a daughter performing her heart out to gain her mother's approval and a mother becoming liberated from her confining roles of wife and mother to become her full self.
320 pages, Hardcover
Published April 13, 2021
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597 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews
July 11, 2021
Audiobook…read by the author, Tovah Feldshuh
….Lots of Schmoozing, and
Kvetching!
….This 1950/60’s Jewish family looks rather meshuggeneh by today’s standards. But the nostalgia was kinda fun.
If current times are about speaking out for equal rights, racial equality, Black Lives Matter, LGBTQIA, voting rights, woman’s rights, feminism, the new normal is that everything is normal….
Then…..
the 1950’s was about conformity.
Lots of fashion rules: gloves, pill hats, stockings, A-line skirts, blouses with Peter Pan collars, dyed pumped silk shoes for wedding attire.
Etc. etc.
“Lilyville” was entertaining and annoying. At times it made me feel a little embarrassed to be part of this tribe.
From matzoh ball soup to chocolate chip cookies, the Feldshuh family was as much American as they were Jewish.
Tovah Feldshuh — actress, singer, playwright, appeared on Broadway and in films. She won many awards and was born the same year as me: 1952.
Lilyville is a funny -
…..a precocious memoir.
…..a mother-daughter relationship to contemplate,
…..Tovah’s career,
…..family history
…..social justice viewpoints
…..changes
…..insights
…..purpose and passions
Good - a little over-the-top theatrical in storytelling style…
But heartwarming-inspiring too!
….Lots of Schmoozing, and
Kvetching!
….This 1950/60’s Jewish family looks rather meshuggeneh by today’s standards. But the nostalgia was kinda fun.
If current times are about speaking out for equal rights, racial equality, Black Lives Matter, LGBTQIA, voting rights, woman’s rights, feminism, the new normal is that everything is normal….
Then…..
the 1950’s was about conformity.
Lots of fashion rules: gloves, pill hats, stockings, A-line skirts, blouses with Peter Pan collars, dyed pumped silk shoes for wedding attire.
Etc. etc.
“Lilyville” was entertaining and annoying. At times it made me feel a little embarrassed to be part of this tribe.
From matzoh ball soup to chocolate chip cookies, the Feldshuh family was as much American as they were Jewish.
Tovah Feldshuh — actress, singer, playwright, appeared on Broadway and in films. She won many awards and was born the same year as me: 1952.
Lilyville is a funny -
…..a precocious memoir.
…..a mother-daughter relationship to contemplate,
…..Tovah’s career,
…..family history
…..social justice viewpoints
…..changes
…..insights
…..purpose and passions
Good - a little over-the-top theatrical in storytelling style…
But heartwarming-inspiring too!
June 5, 2021
Tovah Feldshuh played powerful women offstage and shot to stardom with the Broadway hit, Yentl, winning five awards. But she struggled to make her mother happy. In this book, the author shares the highs and lows of her long career. She also shares the lessons she learned about living in the spotlight, succeeding in her career, and building a relationship with her mother. This is a look at the ancient, ancient, primal relationship between a parent and a child.
The greatest thing about this book was how the author structured the book as a play in three acts and used clever theater-isms throughout the story. I love reading books about mother-daughter relationships, especially memoirs where people put it out there—their relationships and their difficulties.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/tov...
The greatest thing about this book was how the author structured the book as a play in three acts and used clever theater-isms throughout the story. I love reading books about mother-daughter relationships, especially memoirs where people put it out there—their relationships and their difficulties.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/tov...
March 10, 2021
Lilyville is a poignant and theatrical memoir of the author's life, but also her mother's life. There are many theatrical references since Feldshuh is an actress. Her story was interesting, but honestly, her mother stole the show. I laughed at so many scenes where Lily is outspoken and blunt. She was a pistol in her nineties and lived with gusto well after her one hundredth birthday. Her life spanned the entire twentieth century and what a run she has. I was glad I got to know Lily through the words of her daughter. The woman had chutzpah.
Thanks to Hatchette Books and NetGalley for the early read.
Thanks to Hatchette Books and NetGalley for the early read.
March 1, 2021
Thank you to netgalley.com for the copy of Feldshuh’s memoir. I’ve loved Feldshuh in several shows and I would have loved to have seen her in Yentel on stage. I enjoyed her stories of the hard work of making her acting dreams come true. Her nuanced relationship with her mother was interesting and wise. If you’re a Feldshuh fan, you will hear her voice in your head as you’re reading. I’m sure the audio book is great.
August 27, 2021
Feldshuh is paid to write a memoir & turns in a book about her mother Lily? Not sure who thought this was a good idea, but her mother is a rude, uncaring, and at times unloving parent who has nothing special about her whatsoever. Feldshuh spends her life trying to please a mother that will never be happy with her daughter, yet Tovah spends the book also defending the woman who insulted her so often. The book is a messy attempt for the Broadway star to make amends to a woman she lived for, but if you're looking for a good book about Feldshuh's career you'll be extremely disappointed.
One of the issues is that Feldshuh thinks of herself as an average traditional gal, but in truth she was raised in a rich home (her dad was a NYC attorney), was sent to Europe at age 13 without a chaperone, traveled the world and ended up at elitist Sarah Lawrence for college, where she became a pretty radical feminist. She finds a husband she can boss around, a guy who gives up his legal practice to move three times for her when she can't make up her mind. Then when Feldshuh has kids she ignores them for a week at a time while performing elsewhere then tries to claim "my children come first." Right. They see the hired help more than mommy.
Then in the middle of it all the ideal dad that she claims has so much integrity suddenly gets sent to prison for tax fraud after hiding the investigation from her, telling her just before her wedding so she can move the date up so he can attend, and Feldshuh tries to defend that with her idealistic eyes as well.
In addition to her very progressive, pro-liberal viewpoints, which conflict with her father's perspective and some of her mother's views, Tovah's writings are what I would consider racist and sexist. It's offensive to read her non-stop pro-Jewish stereotyping and her failure to understand how she abused her family relationships in order to put herself first because she is woman and wants to roar. By the end of the book I didn't like Tovah Feldshuh at all.
Most disappointing is how little you learn about what goes on behind-the-scenes of any of the movies, TV shows, or Broadway productions she is a part of. She also grossly overstates her fame, success, and the popularity of things she is involved with. The book is filled with bragging about herself and there's nothing humble about it. It also unfortunately is filled with her telling the reader how wonderful her mother is, yet there's little evidence of it. Nor is the mom's story anything special worth writing about. The entire book seems like a wasted opportunity. Avoid going to Lilyville.
One of the issues is that Feldshuh thinks of herself as an average traditional gal, but in truth she was raised in a rich home (her dad was a NYC attorney), was sent to Europe at age 13 without a chaperone, traveled the world and ended up at elitist Sarah Lawrence for college, where she became a pretty radical feminist. She finds a husband she can boss around, a guy who gives up his legal practice to move three times for her when she can't make up her mind. Then when Feldshuh has kids she ignores them for a week at a time while performing elsewhere then tries to claim "my children come first." Right. They see the hired help more than mommy.
Then in the middle of it all the ideal dad that she claims has so much integrity suddenly gets sent to prison for tax fraud after hiding the investigation from her, telling her just before her wedding so she can move the date up so he can attend, and Feldshuh tries to defend that with her idealistic eyes as well.
In addition to her very progressive, pro-liberal viewpoints, which conflict with her father's perspective and some of her mother's views, Tovah's writings are what I would consider racist and sexist. It's offensive to read her non-stop pro-Jewish stereotyping and her failure to understand how she abused her family relationships in order to put herself first because she is woman and wants to roar. By the end of the book I didn't like Tovah Feldshuh at all.
Most disappointing is how little you learn about what goes on behind-the-scenes of any of the movies, TV shows, or Broadway productions she is a part of. She also grossly overstates her fame, success, and the popularity of things she is involved with. The book is filled with bragging about herself and there's nothing humble about it. It also unfortunately is filled with her telling the reader how wonderful her mother is, yet there's little evidence of it. Nor is the mom's story anything special worth writing about. The entire book seems like a wasted opportunity. Avoid going to Lilyville.
June 19, 2021
I found this memoir very, very sad. Tovah's mother sounds horrid and as if Tovah is still in great pain about her. It seems that she could never live up to her mother's expectations. Also, the materialism of her mother and father really floored me. Appearances always mattered. Because Tovah is my contemporary and is Jewish like me I wanted to see how she had grown up. Her book made me even more thankful for my own great parents who were always supportive and never had to impress anybody. Also, the fact that Tovah went to the South of France with her brother at age 13 also floored me. Much too young, for sure, to be on her own. And I find it interesting that her brother is also in the arts. I would have liked to have known what in their family encouraged them to take this route. I finished only half the book - Tovah's self-centeredness also bored me.
April 30, 2021
Must listen!!!!!!
March 23, 2022
Tovah Feldshuh is not a household name to me, but the life of the stage fascinates. As narrated by the actress, the audio memoir moves along with Tovah's polished stage voice clashing with her version of her mother Lily's critical voice, at times both mother and daughter reverting to mom's New York stridency. Dramatic, yes. At times, amusing. In the end, I found it a distraction.
Ms. Feldshuh has earned her notches to arrive at the closing chapters of her career. If you admire the determination and skill of actors, this book may interest you. Recommend reading it.
Ms. Feldshuh has earned her notches to arrive at the closing chapters of her career. If you admire the determination and skill of actors, this book may interest you. Recommend reading it.
May 2, 2021
“𝙄 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙪𝙡𝙩 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙂𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙚: 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚’𝙨 𝙤𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨, 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙪𝙥 𝙖𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣, 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙤 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙡𝙤𝙬, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙡𝙡, 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙮-𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙫𝙮 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙, 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙙𝙤 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙨.”
Because she’s a dramatic theater actor who can do a spot on impression of her mother, Tovah Feldshuh’s memoir should absolutely be listened to on audio.
I laughed a lot.
Tovah frames her memoir around her relationship with her mother, Lily, hence Lilyville. It’s a relationship that starts out well, turns rocky, stays rocky, then ends with an unbreakable bond. Lily. Is. A. Character. And Tovah captures her in all her snarky, sharp-witted, sassy glory.
Tovah lived a privileged life which I think she tries to downplay, but there’s no downplaying summers abroad, National Music Camp (AKA Interlochen Arts Camp), Sarah Lawrence, speaking multiple languages, studying with Uta Hagen, etc. Thankfully, she isn’t a braggart or a reveler in false gratitude. Her life is what it is.
I have been a fan of her film 𝘈 𝘞𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘰𝘰𝘯 since it’s release in 1999 and the chapter dedicated to its filming is everything a fan could wish for in behind the scenes gossip and experiences.
You may not know who Tovah is, but her memoir is a candid, loving chronicle of growing up in New York City (and Scarsdale 😉), a career off and on Broadway and in Hollywood, the Jewish faith, and family dynamics.
Because she’s a dramatic theater actor who can do a spot on impression of her mother, Tovah Feldshuh’s memoir should absolutely be listened to on audio.
I laughed a lot.
Tovah frames her memoir around her relationship with her mother, Lily, hence Lilyville. It’s a relationship that starts out well, turns rocky, stays rocky, then ends with an unbreakable bond. Lily. Is. A. Character. And Tovah captures her in all her snarky, sharp-witted, sassy glory.
Tovah lived a privileged life which I think she tries to downplay, but there’s no downplaying summers abroad, National Music Camp (AKA Interlochen Arts Camp), Sarah Lawrence, speaking multiple languages, studying with Uta Hagen, etc. Thankfully, she isn’t a braggart or a reveler in false gratitude. Her life is what it is.
I have been a fan of her film 𝘈 𝘞𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘰𝘰𝘯 since it’s release in 1999 and the chapter dedicated to its filming is everything a fan could wish for in behind the scenes gossip and experiences.
You may not know who Tovah is, but her memoir is a candid, loving chronicle of growing up in New York City (and Scarsdale 😉), a career off and on Broadway and in Hollywood, the Jewish faith, and family dynamics.
Read
May 31, 2021The lovely account of a mother and daughter's relationship, Sometime loving, sometimes rocky.
June 1, 2021
Lilyville is more than just a memoir of Tovah Feldshuh’s incredible life and career. It’s a beautiful and moving thank you note to her late mother, Lily. It’s candid and hilarious and you really should read it.
Memoirs always fascinate me - it’s so wild to be able to step into someone else’s life and experience their story via a book. Lilyville is no exception. It’s well written and and chock full of behind the scenes goodness from her many years as an actress. As someone fairly ignorant of old Hollywood and Broadway, I only knew Tovah from Crazy Ex Girlfriend. Lilyville inspired me to go watch her entire body of work. I have a lot of catching up to do!
*Thanks to Hachette Books for the gifted copy*
Memoirs always fascinate me - it’s so wild to be able to step into someone else’s life and experience their story via a book. Lilyville is no exception. It’s well written and and chock full of behind the scenes goodness from her many years as an actress. As someone fairly ignorant of old Hollywood and Broadway, I only knew Tovah from Crazy Ex Girlfriend. Lilyville inspired me to go watch her entire body of work. I have a lot of catching up to do!
*Thanks to Hachette Books for the gifted copy*
May 27, 2021
4.5. A wonderful memoir of the actress Tovah Feldshuh that covers her acting career but is really about her family and in particular her mother Lily. Filled with humor and warmth it centers on a relationship that was fraught with tension in the early years only to become loving and caring in the end. I could relate as Tovah is my age, Jewish and had a complex relationship with her mother.
April 22, 2021
Thanks to the publisher for an advance copy for honest review. Lilyville was the best kind of memoir- one that truly had me both laugh and cry.
You might recognize Tovah Feldshuh from her roles in The Walking Dead or Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, but her career has been really remarkable (as it becomes clear in the book). This story is framed around her mother Lily, who truly sounds like a memorable woman. Throughout the telling of their stories Tovah shows readers how she really came to better understand her mother as they aged. Tovah has woven together anecdotes about all parts of their lives- their Jewish faith, their ancestors, the families they made, her career- and it's well done.
You might recognize Tovah Feldshuh from her roles in The Walking Dead or Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, but her career has been really remarkable (as it becomes clear in the book). This story is framed around her mother Lily, who truly sounds like a memorable woman. Throughout the telling of their stories Tovah shows readers how she really came to better understand her mother as they aged. Tovah has woven together anecdotes about all parts of their lives- their Jewish faith, their ancestors, the families they made, her career- and it's well done.
May 4, 2021
I always loved Tovah as an actress when I saw her in movies and TV. I had no idea that she originated the role of Yentl on Broadway. The book is about her life and relationship with her parents, especially her mother. I enjoyed reading about how she became an actress and her childhood in NYC. It was a very enjoyable book.
May 14, 2021
Lilyville is lovely! It's a quick read that does a decent job of balancing the pop culture stories (there's a Warren Beatty/Patti Lupone anecdote that made me actually LOL) with a lot of reflection on what sounds like a pretty complex relationship with her mom.
May 3, 2021
Have always loved Tovah and after reading her very creative autobiography, I love her more. Honest, funny, sad, poignant family issues, I recommend the book highly. Thank you, Tovah!
May 21, 2021
Especially resonant for mishpuchah.
January 10, 2022
Tovah Feldshuh is a favorite actress of mine. The last time I saw her perform, she was hanging upside down belting out a song from Pippin. I marveled that a woman very close to my age, could do tricks in midair when I just fall down a lot.
Unfortunately, I did not adore this book. Ms. Feldshuh's mother, Lily Kaplan, sounds like she was one tough lady. A true narcissist, her expressions of love depended on how highly her children achieved and how it reflected on you. While her father doted on his little girl, Lily made her beg for afffection and seldom gave it willingly.
Ms Feldshuh was raised as an archetype of a 1950s child; perfectly dressed, shod and gloved. As with many mother's of that era, Lily's highest aspiration for her daughter was a good marriage to a Jewish professional, and grandchildren. But Terri Sue (who later reclaimed her Jewish name, very unusual when most Jews changed to assimilated names) had other ideas. A classically trained pianist, like her mother, she had her eyes set on a performance career and achieved it with fewer sacrifices than most young actors.
From the very beginning of the book, when Ms Feldshuh describes the marble-floored sunroom in her parents Scarsdale home, there is an emphasis on how much the family had, including a driver and maids on call. Her parents achieved the immigrant family's highest dreams. Her father was a successful lawyer (until a partner turned him in for tax fraud) and the family had connections galore.
With the glorious soft cushion of family wealth, Tovah went off to Interlochen Music Camp (very selective), the school of her mother's choice (Vasaar, not Tovah's first choice), went into New York City frequently for classes, and vacationed and studied in Europe. At no time does Ms Feldshuh acknowledge the fact that she was lucky and blessed to have the financial resources to go and do as she pleased. The fact that a company offered to foot the bill for her over-the-top wedding at the Plaza, and she TURNED THE MONEY DOWN because klieg lights clashed with her theme, left me with my jaw on the floor. Leading up to the wedding, she buys a vintage Victorian wedding dress and wants the twenty foot veil to go with it. Her mother tells her to pay for it herself. My immediate reaction was, "It's about time."
All of these advantages, trips that solidified her language skills and allowed her to learn accents and dialects, leaning drama in elite studios that honed her already abundant talent to a fine point, all of these are not available to the average young actor. However, it doesn't sound like she mixed much with young actors. When theater and movie legend Ruth Gordon is your maid of honor, well, I think that says it all.
My quibble is not with the writing, which was fine except for the forced use of double entendres. ("Hey, I'm a regular person. I can make off color jokes.) but that Ms. Feldshuh seems to have little self knowledge of what bought her these privileges.
I will always love Ms Feldshuh as an actress, but I'm afraid that I will now see the shadow of a woman who seems to suffer from very little self awareness.
Unfortunately, I did not adore this book. Ms. Feldshuh's mother, Lily Kaplan, sounds like she was one tough lady. A true narcissist, her expressions of love depended on how highly her children achieved and how it reflected on you. While her father doted on his little girl, Lily made her beg for afffection and seldom gave it willingly.
Ms Feldshuh was raised as an archetype of a 1950s child; perfectly dressed, shod and gloved. As with many mother's of that era, Lily's highest aspiration for her daughter was a good marriage to a Jewish professional, and grandchildren. But Terri Sue (who later reclaimed her Jewish name, very unusual when most Jews changed to assimilated names) had other ideas. A classically trained pianist, like her mother, she had her eyes set on a performance career and achieved it with fewer sacrifices than most young actors.
From the very beginning of the book, when Ms Feldshuh describes the marble-floored sunroom in her parents Scarsdale home, there is an emphasis on how much the family had, including a driver and maids on call. Her parents achieved the immigrant family's highest dreams. Her father was a successful lawyer (until a partner turned him in for tax fraud) and the family had connections galore.
With the glorious soft cushion of family wealth, Tovah went off to Interlochen Music Camp (very selective), the school of her mother's choice (Vasaar, not Tovah's first choice), went into New York City frequently for classes, and vacationed and studied in Europe. At no time does Ms Feldshuh acknowledge the fact that she was lucky and blessed to have the financial resources to go and do as she pleased. The fact that a company offered to foot the bill for her over-the-top wedding at the Plaza, and she TURNED THE MONEY DOWN because klieg lights clashed with her theme, left me with my jaw on the floor. Leading up to the wedding, she buys a vintage Victorian wedding dress and wants the twenty foot veil to go with it. Her mother tells her to pay for it herself. My immediate reaction was, "It's about time."
All of these advantages, trips that solidified her language skills and allowed her to learn accents and dialects, leaning drama in elite studios that honed her already abundant talent to a fine point, all of these are not available to the average young actor. However, it doesn't sound like she mixed much with young actors. When theater and movie legend Ruth Gordon is your maid of honor, well, I think that says it all.
My quibble is not with the writing, which was fine except for the forced use of double entendres. ("Hey, I'm a regular person. I can make off color jokes.) but that Ms. Feldshuh seems to have little self knowledge of what bought her these privileges.
I will always love Ms Feldshuh as an actress, but I'm afraid that I will now see the shadow of a woman who seems to suffer from very little self awareness.
June 10, 2023
Lilyville by Tovah Feldshuh
My first summer read book is Lilyville by Tovah Feldshuh
What a delightful, informative, funny and insightful book. I saw an interview of her on MSNBC the other week and was inspired to read her book, an autobiography written as a 3 Act play, with a curtain call and cast party at the end.
Tovah is a Broadway and Hollywood actress. Best know for playing Golda Meir in Golda's Balcony (which set a record as the longest-running one-woman play in Broadway history). She appeared in the titular role in Yentl both off-Broadway and on Broadway, and in the book she describes meeting Barbara Streisand and becoming friends with her. She also portrayed Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
She has also received two Emmy Award nominations for her work in Holocaust and Law & Order, and appeared for two seasons in the role of Deanna Monroe on AMC's television adaptation of The Walking Dead.
There are lots of behind the scenes stories, and lots of famous people she met and worked with. Some very funny stories, like being hit on by Warren Beatty at a party in Hollywood.
The book revolves around her relationship with her mother, Lily, and what a powerful story it is. There is much laughter, and insight into growing up in a Jewish home in New York. Her mother has a quick wit and lots of great sayings. From her advice to how to have a good marriage, “Just shut one eye, and it doesn’t hurt to have selective hearing.” She also was known to say “happiness is a choice.”
She writes about her college experiences, dating, her marriage and giving birth to her two children ( and a most funny story about breast feeding.). The book closes with powerful stories around the death of her parents.
Tovah shares stories of being Jewish and the glimpse of Jewish life is wonderful and delightful to read. Both of her growing up and of her parents. She also speaks about the inequality women faced in the entertainment industry and within the Jewish faith.
A very powerrful book and a good read. I highly recommend this book.
My first summer read book is Lilyville by Tovah Feldshuh
What a delightful, informative, funny and insightful book. I saw an interview of her on MSNBC the other week and was inspired to read her book, an autobiography written as a 3 Act play, with a curtain call and cast party at the end.
Tovah is a Broadway and Hollywood actress. Best know for playing Golda Meir in Golda's Balcony (which set a record as the longest-running one-woman play in Broadway history). She appeared in the titular role in Yentl both off-Broadway and on Broadway, and in the book she describes meeting Barbara Streisand and becoming friends with her. She also portrayed Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
She has also received two Emmy Award nominations for her work in Holocaust and Law & Order, and appeared for two seasons in the role of Deanna Monroe on AMC's television adaptation of The Walking Dead.
There are lots of behind the scenes stories, and lots of famous people she met and worked with. Some very funny stories, like being hit on by Warren Beatty at a party in Hollywood.
The book revolves around her relationship with her mother, Lily, and what a powerful story it is. There is much laughter, and insight into growing up in a Jewish home in New York. Her mother has a quick wit and lots of great sayings. From her advice to how to have a good marriage, “Just shut one eye, and it doesn’t hurt to have selective hearing.” She also was known to say “happiness is a choice.”
She writes about her college experiences, dating, her marriage and giving birth to her two children ( and a most funny story about breast feeding.). The book closes with powerful stories around the death of her parents.
Tovah shares stories of being Jewish and the glimpse of Jewish life is wonderful and delightful to read. Both of her growing up and of her parents. She also speaks about the inequality women faced in the entertainment industry and within the Jewish faith.
A very powerrful book and a good read. I highly recommend this book.
September 21, 2021
A light, sweet, easy read. Mother-daughter dynamics unique to these two generations--the "greatest" generation and the boomers. Lily is painted with love and empathy and affectionate teasing. She was driven by class anxiety and a family lore that emphasized state-sponsored genocide (pogroms in late 19th century Russia). She grew up in a Bronx that was rural, criss-crossed with bridle paths. Then she molded herself around the norms of 1950s Scarsdale.
Some funny details, such as Lily picking up her husband from the train station with a platter of crackers topped with Velveeta. Tovah has been cross examined by Roy Cohn and has Barbra Streisand's old shower curtain in one of her bathrooms. If I knew more about theater, I would have gotten even more out of her stories about Broadway life.
Some things I wanted to know more about. Lily always had "live-in help" in Scarsdale; they are not even named. What did Tovah's father do after his short stint in a minimum security prison? There's an awkward passage about "casting couch" behavior in Hollywood in the 1970s/1980s: it could be read as implying that women who were preyed upon just lacked moral fiber. Maybe Tovah didn't intend that subtext, and I'm picking up on a generational difference between boomers (perpetually earnest, convinced they're solving problems) and Gen-Xers (perpetually rolling our eyes, cleaning up after the boomers).
Many very sweet scenes about family. Lily's voice comes through. Sharp, funny, cute with word play, a little Nora Ephron, a little Erma Bombeck, a tap on the shoulder from my grandmothers' generation, the generation that wore shirtwaists and pearls to their own breakfast tables.
Some funny details, such as Lily picking up her husband from the train station with a platter of crackers topped with Velveeta. Tovah has been cross examined by Roy Cohn and has Barbra Streisand's old shower curtain in one of her bathrooms. If I knew more about theater, I would have gotten even more out of her stories about Broadway life.
Some things I wanted to know more about. Lily always had "live-in help" in Scarsdale; they are not even named. What did Tovah's father do after his short stint in a minimum security prison? There's an awkward passage about "casting couch" behavior in Hollywood in the 1970s/1980s: it could be read as implying that women who were preyed upon just lacked moral fiber. Maybe Tovah didn't intend that subtext, and I'm picking up on a generational difference between boomers (perpetually earnest, convinced they're solving problems) and Gen-Xers (perpetually rolling our eyes, cleaning up after the boomers).
Many very sweet scenes about family. Lily's voice comes through. Sharp, funny, cute with word play, a little Nora Ephron, a little Erma Bombeck, a tap on the shoulder from my grandmothers' generation, the generation that wore shirtwaists and pearls to their own breakfast tables.
August 20, 2021
Loved the second half
The reason for the story is in the second half. I didn’t realize that initially. Feldshuh knows how to tell a story and hold an audience. And her mother in the second half of book, has many funny and clever lines and her emotional journey is compelling. There is much to live in this tale. Forme, there was a negative that perhaps I should expect in a celebrity memoir, but there is bragging and a lot of materialism. Do we need to know that her husband’s car was a Jaguar-yuck. That everyone in her family (except her and her mother) were Ivy League gradsWe hear about all the swanky parties and her mother’s quick admittance to a top cardiologist and top heart hospital due to connections to the family that endowed it, without much/any acknowledgement of the privilege, the idealizing of “royalty” and fancy venues, and superficial details like the brand of dress someone wore to an event. I’d say i liked the book, and Ms Fekdshuh is a gifted actress, but the materialism and assumption that the readers all agree that hosting a 10k birthday party each year is a worthwhile expenditure was a turn off.
The reason for the story is in the second half. I didn’t realize that initially. Feldshuh knows how to tell a story and hold an audience. And her mother in the second half of book, has many funny and clever lines and her emotional journey is compelling. There is much to live in this tale. Forme, there was a negative that perhaps I should expect in a celebrity memoir, but there is bragging and a lot of materialism. Do we need to know that her husband’s car was a Jaguar-yuck. That everyone in her family (except her and her mother) were Ivy League gradsWe hear about all the swanky parties and her mother’s quick admittance to a top cardiologist and top heart hospital due to connections to the family that endowed it, without much/any acknowledgement of the privilege, the idealizing of “royalty” and fancy venues, and superficial details like the brand of dress someone wore to an event. I’d say i liked the book, and Ms Fekdshuh is a gifted actress, but the materialism and assumption that the readers all agree that hosting a 10k birthday party each year is a worthwhile expenditure was a turn off.
March 8, 2023
I read this book during a week where I was losing a dear friend & doing a lot of reflecting on the people in my life that mean/meant the world to me. Lilyville is the memoir of the author’s life and Very complicated relationship with her mother who raised her in an era where gender equity was seldom recognized…where children should be seen but not heard & where the adults in the household were the ones in charge. (Don’t see that in our current era very often.) It reminded me So Much of my own relationship with my mother that I found myself underlining passages, starring paragraphs (a huge no-no in my family of readers, unless it was a textbook or editing mark!) I found myself laughing out loud & reminiscing over black patent leather shoes with lace trimmed anklets, & “you never have a second chance to make a good 1st impression!” I also found myself crying & feeling sorry for myself that my mother & I never got the chance to grow into friends. (Like I said, this has been a rough week.) How lucky that this author had that time. And, to my dear friend…you were loved & my memories of you will be cherished.
October 1, 2021
While I can't say I've been a fan of Tovah Feldshuh, I have seen and enjoyed her work over the years, so when several coworkers were gifted copies of this book in advance of a zoom conversation with the author and one of those coworkers gave me her copy to read, I jumped at the chance. I enjoy "backstage" stories very much...but I didn't get a lot of that here. Instead, the book was filled mostly with stories of first Terri Sue, then Tovah's relationship with her mother, and I strangely related to a lot of it, much more than I thought I would, as I am not Jewish and am from a different generation (maybe 2 behind Tovah?). Sadly, my relationship with my mother has not vastly improved after my father's death the way Tovah's did with Lily, and maybe that's my own fault for not trying harder, but I digress...
I enjoyed the book a lot more than I thought I would, what with it not being what I thought it was. The backstage stories were my favorite parts, but Tovah's relationship with Lily was so very relatable to me.
I enjoyed the book a lot more than I thought I would, what with it not being what I thought it was. The backstage stories were my favorite parts, but Tovah's relationship with Lily was so very relatable to me.
October 18, 2023
Tovah Feldshuh isn't exactly a household name, but her numerous appearances as fiery defense attorney Danielle Melnick in Law & Order, and her unforgettable turn as Rebecca Bunch's overbearing, critical mother on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend made me a fan. Unfortunately, Feldshuh's memoir is not so memorable. Much of the focus is on her complex relationship with her own mother, Lily, who embodied the upper middle class Jewish housewife of the 1950s. I would have preferred fewer descriptions of Lily's stereotypical critical, emotionally withholding behavior and more about Feldshuh's interesting and diverse career - she starred in Hello Dolly! on Broadway and had a major character arc on The Walking Dead! Also a lot of the book flaunts her rich, white privilege, and she makes a tone-deaf Anne Frank remark that shocked me with its tastelessness. Sometimes it's better not to know too much about the famous people you admire.
June 9, 2023
A very entertaining read, especially as fans of Tovah and after getting to meet her in person. Like a lot of the reviews state, there would be no Tovah without the generational wealth and privilege she was born into. I was expecting some trials and tribulations but it was mostly expensive parties and stories about travels at such a young age, something most adults will never be able to afford. Tovah is very lucky to have had her mother with her for that long. I lost my grandmother at 12 years old, so I envy those who are able to spend time with their loved ones. Especially! after an experimental procedure! I ended the book with a 5 star rating, but moved it down to 4 and then 3 stars just because i’m choosing to be bitter that I was not a little rich girl trotting around the south of france at 13 years old.
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November 17, 2022DNF, but got almost all the way through.
Feldshuh tells the story of her parents early lives and marriage, but especially her tumultuous relationship with her mother. Feldshuh's mother seems to be threatened by her more beautiful glamorous daughter, threatened by her confidence and comfort with herself. Lily is of a breed of women from the past: fierce by nature, and having turned that ferocity into being a perfect and (fakely?) submissive housewife. Her self-definition comes as being the wife of Sidney. She doesn't understand her daughter or even seem to have any pride in her accomplishments. Feldshuh goes her own way, becomes her own person, and lives a live of fun and fulfillment -- largely due to her father's unconditional love for and pride in her.
Lots to digest.
Feldshuh tells the story of her parents early lives and marriage, but especially her tumultuous relationship with her mother. Feldshuh's mother seems to be threatened by her more beautiful glamorous daughter, threatened by her confidence and comfort with herself. Lily is of a breed of women from the past: fierce by nature, and having turned that ferocity into being a perfect and (fakely?) submissive housewife. Her self-definition comes as being the wife of Sidney. She doesn't understand her daughter or even seem to have any pride in her accomplishments. Feldshuh goes her own way, becomes her own person, and lives a live of fun and fulfillment -- largely due to her father's unconditional love for and pride in her.
Lots to digest.
June 5, 2025
I could NOT put this book down! I didn't realize while I was reading it that Tovah is Bina in Nobody Wants This--loved her character. Cleverly told with humor, inspiring life lessons, and entertaining stories about travels, family events, and life in the acting world. A fascinating narrative chronicling the author's family's Jewish roots, her relationship with her mother, the path to fame, and her experiences as a wife, mother, and artist.
Her insights into human nature, love, and grief are profound. Such a unique memoir that brings to life scenes from the Bronx, Scarsdale, New York City, and more.
Her insights into human nature, love, and grief are profound. Such a unique memoir that brings to life scenes from the Bronx, Scarsdale, New York City, and more.
June 20, 2025
I never heard of Tovah Feldshuh of Broadway fame so this was all news to me about her. An easy read but sometimes sad, often times funny. Her mom was hard on Tovah until she was 27, and got better after her beloved dad's death. Her mom seemed liberated from her role as a wife and being a widow made the relationship with Tovah much better. To the point Tovah was grieving at her death at 103. But her mom should have died 8 years earlier but for the sake of an experimental operation.
Plenty of photos, this is a long read to be sure at 600 pages, but it is entertaining usually and not depressing. I am glad I read it and a bit sad to see it end.
Plenty of photos, this is a long read to be sure at 600 pages, but it is entertaining usually and not depressing. I am glad I read it and a bit sad to see it end.
February 3, 2022
Just an enjoyable memoir with none of the strum and drang that so many of the celebrity books have. If you know Tovah Feldshuh and you've ever seen her give an interview, you can see her and hear her as you're reading. It was almost like having an audiobook without actually listening to the book. She's as engaging as an author as she is as an actress. Her mother was a tough cookie, but Tovah navigated her life through not only her mother's love, but the love of her father and her husband. It was a breath of fresh air after reading so many dark, although very good, books.
May 19, 2023
A gracious good time!!
My dearest daughter, Joelle, gave this book to me as a Mother’s Day present. She said she thought I would like it as it would remind me of my mother and me. It’s true that doing my younger years we didn’t always see things eye to eye. But as we got older we were inseparable. I lived with my mom and took care of her for 23 years and it was a blessing and privilege . She lived within one month of being 102. This book is about religion, theater, family and love. A must read and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
My dearest daughter, Joelle, gave this book to me as a Mother’s Day present. She said she thought I would like it as it would remind me of my mother and me. It’s true that doing my younger years we didn’t always see things eye to eye. But as we got older we were inseparable. I lived with my mom and took care of her for 23 years and it was a blessing and privilege . She lived within one month of being 102. This book is about religion, theater, family and love. A must read and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
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