The College Conversation: A Practical Companion for Parents to Guide Their Children Along the Path to Higher Education

by Eric J. Furda, Jacques Steinberg

From an Ivy League dean and a college admissions expert, a guide to help parents support their children as they navigate their way to college.

The College Conversation is a comprehensive resource for mapping the path through the college application process that provides practical advice and reassurance to keep both anxious parents and confused children sane and grounded. Rather than adding to the existing canon of "How to Get In" college guides or rankings, Eric Furda and Jacques Steinberg provide a step-by-step approach to having the tough conversations on this topic with less stress and more success.

The book is organized around key discussions and themes that trace the chronological arc of admissions and financial aid--beginning before the assembly of a list of potential colleges and continuing through the receipt of decisions--with a final section that includes advice on the first year of college. The topics include preliminary conversations about the search, and specifically how parents can think about their children's interests and what kind of college would best suit them; choosing a college (based on its curriculum, culture, and community); writing the most effective essays; assessing acceptances, including considerations of finances and aid; and making the transition from high school to college life.

The College Conversation will provide parents, students, and counselors with the credible, level-headed information often missing in this process, as well as a much-needed dash of perspective borne of experience.

Genres: Education, College, Nonfiction, Parenting

249 pages, Hardcover

Published September 22, 2020

Reviews

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are several useful activities the authors recommend along the way:

Key attributes - jot down words and phrases that describe the college environment that might best suit your child. Have them do it separately and compare notes.
The five I’s - Identity (how do you see yourself, how do others see you?). Intellect (favorite way to learn, what subjects/activity of learning make you lose track of time?). Ideas (what opinions are most important to you?). Interests (what do you do in free time?). Inspiration (what motivates and moves you, whom do you admire?)
The four C’s about colleges - Culture, Curriculum, Community, Conclusions (outcomes). How do you and your child think about those in relation to each school of interest? The fifth C is Cost, which too often is not discussed until acceptances come in. Start this conversation early.
College tours - have your teen try to engage a few current students. Ask what year, how they like it, where else they thought about going, why did they choose their school? This section, pages 74-81 was particularly thoughtful.
Writing essays, pages 107-119 was also excellent.

The authors like the Common Data Set as a great resource for finding the “middle 50” for grades and scores.

When making the decision, ask questions related to support services: tutoring, academic support / mentoring, health and wellness, and public safety. Campus safety data can be found by searching “Clery Act” in a school website search bar.

[bookreader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written by subject matter experts, this is a dry but worthy candidate for the “one book” you might read before your kids apply to college.

[Adam Rabiner · Rating 5 out of 5]

With my son a high school junior I thought it was high time I started paying a bit more attention to the whole college thing. Some of my more OCD parent friends had already created arrays of complex spreadsheets filled with costs, average student scores, admissions percentages, financial aid packages, etc. I was feeling decidedly unprepared. I learned of this book, co-written by a college classmate (Jacques, not Eric) and thought I could kill two birds with one stone, educate myself (and my son) and support an old colleague. I am glad I got the book. While Jacques does indeed impart some advice that entails creating a spreadsheet, much of what he and Eric are doing is providing a very broad framework in which a parent and their high schooler can engage in this process, from the preliminary stages of extracurriculars and college selection, through narrowing down the list, ultimately making a choice, and then engaging productively with the chosen school that first year of matriculation. Their tone is one of common sense and sensibility. They are the calm and wise ones in the room, with tons of experience and knowledge about the process. What is perhaps unique about this book is that though the parent is the target audience, the book is meant to prompt a series of conversations and exercises that are meant for the student and parent to work on separately, or sometimes together, to hash out a lot of the important stuff. The most important thing, in their view, is that the student does a very thorough self-assessment of his or her values, interests, intellect, passions, and preferences, and find a college that best matches those (with finances also thrown in, not as an afterthought). It seems that selecting the right college is very much these days about finding the right fit. Perhaps in my day, over thirty years ago, in the competitive circles, I traveled in, there was a bit more emphasis on the prestige factor. However, today, nearly every college is more competitive than they were a generation ago, and so many schools have improved their reputation that there are innumerable schools that are now considered outstanding. The real challenge of this book is not reading it and finding a ton of great information in it. It is getting your child to settle down and take part in those several important meaningful conversations that have to happen.

[Phoebe Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book in preparation for a new position was certainly a departure from my reading-for-fun/escape mode that I've been in since the pandemic hit, but I actually really enjoyed it every time I picked it up. While I was already familiar with the majority of the content, reading material tailored for parents was very useful in my job prep, and gave me a lot of new counseling framework to mull over. The authors were incredibly knowledgable and qualified, and I thought they did a very good job of covering a very far-ranging and unruly topic while still being concise. I think my only criticism would be that there was no reference made to what the college-going process (specifically financial aid) looks like for children of undocumented parents. I understand that it's a complex topic and not cut-and-dry at all given different state laws, but I thought the authors did a great job of acknowledgment and resource-sharing for all other topics except this one. In my experience, guiding these students through the college-going process is something that very few college counselors/advisors are prepared for, despite an already great and growing need. Other than that, I found this book to be a very good resource and will certainly be coming back to my highlights in the years to come.

[Christi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should be your FIRST stop in navigating the entire college process! It covers everything along the LONG journey to finding a great place to seek higher education.
The two authors have some activities for your student to figure out where to start, how your child can look a little more introspectively on who they are, how to build a college list and how to make final decisions. There is even an area at the end to help transfer students.

The vocabulary of college admissions is bolded throughout this book. Super helpful for those parents who have never heard of "high school profile" and "nonbinding" or "need-blind admissions".
There is an emphasis on writing a great essay and tips for crafting this all-important part of the application.

It is indexed! at the end, which is super helpful. My fave part of the book was Dean Furda's explanation on what goes on in the Admissions Office during application review.
There are a bunch of great books out there to help parents and students, but this is where you want to start.

[Jenn Curtis · Rating 5 out of 5]

"This is the college guidebook that every family needs. As a college counselor and co-author of The Parent Compass: Navigating Your Teen’s Wellness and Academic Journey in Today’s Competitive World, I know firsthand that communication is a quintessential piece in the college admission process. In a well-thought-out approach, the authors accompany families along the entire journey—from asking the important question, “Why college?” at the very outset, all the way to navigating admission decisions and even managing the transition to college. Furda and Steinberg help give students the tools to take an active and engaged role in their process while also helping parents recognize their appropriate, supportive role, inevitably leading to a more harmonious and enjoyable process for anyone who engages in their 5 conversations. I will be recommending this book to anyone with high school-aged children."

[Jennifer Pletcher · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a guide for parents from starting the college search with your kids through dropping them off for their first day of college. It even goes through what happens when that decision doesn't work out and the kid wants to transfer. It is a guide to help parents navigate when to step in and when to back off. It lays out how to make the college list - what parents and kids should be looking for, as well as things to look for when you can take a college tour. There is a section on financial aid and how to make smart choices before a kid gets excited about a college to make sure it is affordable for a family.

This was a great book. It was recommended to me by a friend (her college classmate was one of the authors) and I am glad I read it. I definitely see me going back and referring to some of their worksheets as we get deeper into the college process this year.

[AcademicEditor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I could travel back in time and give my teenage self this book. As the first in my family to attend a university (not a trade school or junior college), I really hadn't known what I was looking for or what the admissions process really looked like overall. Eventually, I ended up working in admissions myself, and I still coach students to prepare applications, so I'd like to think my current knowledge is well above average. I can say, then, that the authors really know their subject matter and are helpful in guiding a family to support the student in finding a place to thrive.

Thanks to the publishers and NetGalley for a digital ARC for the purpose of an unbiased review.

[Ayaan Q · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you know someone who is in high school, this book breaks down everything that you and that someone need to know when applying for college. The book is written by two admissions officers from the prestigious University of Pennsylvania. There is a lot that goes into a college application and having gone through it myself, I get how hard it is to boil down a 17 or 18 year old's life into 650 words. I would recommend reading this book or encouraging those high schoolers in your life to read this book to know how to organize their thoughts and inform the work they pursue throughout high school.

[Marcy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a terrific book for parents who are interested in sending their children to study in the United States. I love the approach Furda and Steinberg take with various conversations and exercises for families to engage in. These are crucial dialogues that are not only important for figuring out which is the best university to apply to but will help guide students and families as children make their way into the world of adults.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm one of those super-planners, who looks into any important topic or decision in depth, and early. I was excited to read this book after listening to Eric's SiriusXM show, The Process, since our older son started his college application process. Having now completed it with our youngest, I would highly recommend it, and this book, to parents who are either in it, or about to embark on this rite of passage. So many helpful hints, and points you may not have thought of.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

My friendly generalized anxiety disorder is visiting me often to encourage me to lose as much sleep as possible over college acceptance worry... so I've been doing what all good resource professionals do and reading everything I can get my hands on.

This one offers a collection of useful activities families can do in prep for college planning. It's thoughtful and accessible and reasonable. I really liked it

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fursa and Steinberg did a stellar job producing this guide for parents and prospective college students. Their focus is conversational and focused on the holistic formation of the student as they prepare for college. This book is a helpful resource for any family considering any kind of college. -sincerely, your local friendly admissions counselor

[Amy Ivyleagueguide · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a college counselor, I’m so grateful for Eric's show The Process, coursera class How to Apply to College, and this book The College Conversation! Eric has helped bring more low-income, first gen students to Penn and gives practical advice to anxious families like to control what you can control.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This would have been extremely useful if I had read it earlier in the process (rather than in October of my youngest child’s senior year), but it still had useful information and guidance even at this stage of the game. 3.5 stars

[Brittany · Rating 4 out of 5]

I usually think most "college" books are garbage but this is one I would actually rec to parents!!! Easy to tread, no BS, from two people whoa actually know what they are talking about.

[Adrienne · Rating 4 out of 5]

practical, useful, well written

[Stefanie Lubash · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical guide to working through the college search with your teen. Informative and useful.

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the book every College Counselor and Parent should read if they want their children's education considered as a brilliant asset for the next fulfilled cooperative journey.

[Marlies · Rating 4 out of 5]

Useful & well-written

[Tina Kerr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good for high school underclassmen

[Wesley Satterwhite · Rating 4 out of 5]

Probably should have read this before my daughter's senior year of high school--maybe even when she was a freshman or middle schooler. A least it may help for my second (in 8th grade now).

[J.j. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Required reading for every parent of a high school junior.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful for parents and families.

[Alana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great basic overview of the college process. I learned some things.

[Steve Lavapies · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very informative road map.

[Ryan · Rating 2 out of 5]

A few useful talking points and exercises to have with your teen in preparation for college

[Cynthia Muchnick · Rating 5 out of 5]

A useful and informative guide. Eric Furda and Jacques Steinberg bring their combined backgrounds in education, college admissions, journalism and thought leading to their new book "The College Conversation." Before you have these conversations with your teen, read this book to help you frame and plan for the entire application process. As a co-author of "The Parent Compass: Navigating Your Teen's Wellness and Academic Journey in Today's Competitive World," I believe in the role of parents as collaborators and partners as opposed to managers and fixers. We all want to have positive relationships with our teens, and this book will help you do so, too. This is a terrific guide that maps out tangible conversations that you can model or replicate in order to have a healthy, thoughtful college application process for you and your teen."