Only Happiness Here: In Search of Elizabeth von Arnim

by Gabrielle Carey

‘When I discovered Elizabeth von Arnim, I found, for the first time, a writer who wrote about being happy.’

Elizabeth von Arnim is one of the early twentieth century’s most famous – and almost forgotten – authors. She was ahead of her time in her understanding of women and their often thwarted pursuit of happiness. Born in Sydney in the mid-1800s, she went on to write many internationally bestselling novels, marry a Prussian Count and then an English Lord, develop close friendships with H.G. Wells and E.M. Forster, and raise five children.

Intrigued by von Arnim’s extraordinary life, Gabrielle Carey sets off on a literary and philosophical journey to learn about this bold and witty author. More than a biography, Only Happiness Here is also a personal investigation into our perennial obsession with finding joy.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Biography Memoir, Australia, Memoir

256 pages, Paperback

First published September 29, 2020

About the author

Gabrielle Carey was an Australian writer noted for the teen novel, Puberty Blues, which she co-wrote with Kathy Lette. This novel was the first teenage novel published in Australia that was written by teenagers.

Reviews

[Britta Böhler · Rating 3 out of 5]

The parts about Elizabeth von Arnim were fascinating but the memoir-part and the whole 'happiness'-theme just didnt come together for me.
2.5*

[Chloe · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such a fascinating read! Elizabeth von Arnim is the forgotten literary hero I didn't know I needed.

[Rhonda · Rating 2 out of 5]

This won the 2020 Prime Minister's Literary award and the author was shortlisted for the Hazel Rowley Literary Fellowship for 'her work on Elizabeth von Arnim'. I am torn re this biography. As a reader I was totally absorbed by it from beginning to end even though no photographs or illustrations are provided to support the text - the provision of which is mandatory for all my biographical reading decisions. Google provided me with images of von Arnim's garden, of herself and her husbands, lovers and children and the covers of her books. I still find the omission odd and can only conclude it may have been related to her constant references to the many convoluted efforts von Arnim, who the author greatly admired, went to protect her privacy - despite exposing many intimate details in words which exposed far more than a quick look googling images. Still, it is highly interesting reading and the occasional sections paralleling her own life with her subjects though occasionally invasive are entertaining. My main problem is the effusive to the point of overbearingly gushy admiration for von Arnim who came across to me as an egotistical and tyrannical woman who on the other hand shared valuable and incisive insights into gender inequalities on the home front which tend to be lacking elsewhere. I now want to read von Arnim's books not because she is an acolyte of happiness but because she does emerge as a strange and tortured woman. Too many things are filtered through the gush about her positive attitude and too many things raised and left hanging. The son for eg who was not wanted, was loathed from birth, was observed as beaten and neglected in a comment via his sisters and who, after reference to his despised birth, disappears from the book all together. There is the strange details surrounding the death of Felicita, the estranged 16 yr old daughter and the book von Arnim writes after her death which is stomach churning both in its depiction of mother/daughter love in the form of letters and the author's attempt to whitewash von Arnim's involvment. There is also no reference to the possible links between her endlessly applauded positive attitude and her having the means and freedom from a substantial level of domestic demands to travel extensively, buy houses, create beautiful gardens and to practise her craft as a writer Having those things has far more to do with success inmaintaining happiness than the happy spirit we are asked to admire and see as the deciding factor. Conclusion, well written enough to read, engage and finish but the feeling I am left with is irritation and frustration and a horrible feeling that not being 'happy' is a bad thing and our own fault. Given how much I liked the excerpts of von Arnim's writing, her dry humour and her passionate articulations re how home and hearth imprisons women I think this author let her subject down.

[Julie Chamaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up. The approach of Carey, a well known Australian author, toward biography is interesting here. For one, this biography contains no photography: a bit of a shortcoming to me. Also, this is an unconventional philosophical examination of happiness von Arnim style, interwoven with parallels of Carey’s own life. To be candid, some of the author’s musings about her own life were engaging but more often these were intrusive. In addition, it is also hard to see what our ‘perennial obsession with finding joy’ means, either in Elizabeth von Arnim’s time or ours not only because joy is so ephemeral but also because she does not firmly establish how the pursuit of joy is an obsession.

The life of English author Elizabeth von Arnim is nothing short of astounding. Born in Australia, she married firstly into German aristocracy, and later to Bertrand Russell’s brother. She was prolific artistically and physically, producing over twenty novels and bearing five children and yet, she found time mix socially with great thinkers of the 20th century and is believed to have had an affair with H.G Wells. Her life, while full, was not always happy: her marriages were oppressive, and she appeared to have suffered from post natal depression.

If, as Carey suggests, von Arnim is out of favour as a novelist because she writes about lighter, joyous, even ‘frothy’ topics as she does in ‘Elizabeth’s German Garden’ or in the popular ‘Enchanted April’, one only has to consider the satirical portraits contained in such works to recognise there is more than froth to such texts. Furthermore, von Arnim also concentrated on the darker side of life, with bleak psychological depictions of tyrannical domestic life and the stresses of child bearing with ‘Vera’ and ‘The Pastor’s Wife’, respectively. To be fair, Carey does touch upon the more serious von Arnim’s novels but she tends to focus, gush and spout about the author’s optimism as if she was a font of joy.

It seems to me that Elizabeth von Arnim’s ‘happiness’ resides within the recognition that to take joy in fleeting passions or the pleasure of a garden, is merely an interlude to other salutary lessons in life.

[Sonya · Rating 3 out of 5]

More like 2.5 stars.
This strange book is a hybrid of the author's vague "project" to find happiness after some miserable things happen to her by examining the life of Elizabeth von Arnim. So it succeeds in getting a reader like me interested in von Arnim's life and work. Von Arnim was a wildly successful novelist who (seemingly) weaves her own life into her books. The author of this memoir, Gabrielle Carey, however, projects her own life events onto the ones in von Arnim's, with flimsy analysis and specious, vapid proclamations. One of the most egregious is that von Arnim couldn't have been depressed/unhappy during a particular point in her life because it was then that she wrote her most happy novel.
I'm glad I read it and want to know more about the von Arnim circle of friends/lovers like HG Wells and the Russell brothers and other literary luminaries of the time, but this book could have been so much more in its execution.

[Amy Heap · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love The Enchanted April, so was fascinated to read about the life of its author. Not a straight biography, this is a look at Elizabeth von Arnim's propensity for happiness, despite the ups and downs of a full life, and how one might find more joy in life. It is an extraordinary life; born in Australia in the 1800s, going on to marry into both German and English aristocracy, cultivating friendships with people such as E.M. Forster, and writing a great many novels, it is a shame that von Arnim is not better remembered. Carey's reflection upon her own life is also interesting, and this is along the lines of Mrs Gaskell and Me, My Life in Middlemarch, and My Salinger Year - where writers find the works and lives of other authors have great impact on their own lives.

[Chrissie]

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*Only Happiness Here: In Search of Elizabeth von Arnim TBR by Gabrielle Carey
*Elizabeth of the German Garden: A Literary Journey TBR by Jennifer Walker

[Jill Lawson · Rating 1 out of 5]

My Book Club recently read a biography of Elizabeth von Arnim,"The Countess from Kirribilli" by Joyce Morgan. Most of us were surprised we had never heard of Elizabeth, despite her interesting life and character and her huge popularity as an author in the mid 20th century. One great feature of this book was the fascinating photos, many from family archives.
Gabrielle Carey's book is pretty much a lesson in how NOT to write a biography. As the title suggests, the author twists everything to fit her ridiculous theory that Elizabeth was always happy. Then almost half the book is about herself not her subject, and she lost me completely when referring to "my book, Puberty Blues" ignoring her (more famous) co-author, Kathy Lette. And, not a single photo!
Read Joyce Morgan if you would like to learn about an amazing, flawed woman.

[Penne Moschetti · Rating 1 out of 5]

Obviously the writer found the life of this writer fascinating but unfortunately her depiction was not sufficient to engage me. I gave up halfway through.

[Nat · Rating 5 out of 5]

A gorgeous, sunny read that reminds us that there is a place in literature (and life) for “unsophisticated cheerfulness”.

I enjoyed ‘The Enchanted April’, which I suppose you could call a minor classic today, but I had no idea Elizabeth von Arnim had written so many other novels and was in fact extremely famous in her day. She led an enigmatic and quietly rebellious life which was fascinating to read about.

[Brooke Jacobson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Gabrielle Carey, co-author of Puberty Blues, looks into the life of Elizabeth von Arnim, one of the early 20th century's most famous and successful authors. While this serves as a kind of biography of Elizabeth's amazing life and work, Carey really delves into Elizabeth's psyche and what it was about her that made her such a positive and happy person. Look, this book was interesting but frustrating at the same time - Carey makes no secret of the fact that a string of failed relationships brought her to same conclusion as Elizabeth, that women can only be happy if they're single. In a lot of ways, Elizabeth was extraordinarily selfish, she was a bad mother and there was a lot I didn't like about her. I thought Carey looked down her nose a bit at married women - I'm sorry your marriage didn't work out, but some of us are actually quite happy being married. Probably not a book I re-read.

[Lee Kofman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A much-needed book in the current literary landscape where there is all too much self-righteous fury. A quieter book, a beautiful study of what a happy life can look like, even in the face of enormous hardships. And a passionate argument for female happiness, for a woman's right to leisure and focusing on herself for a change. Love Carey's measured but vivid and wry voice and her research.

[Spratz Tempura · Rating 3 out of 5]

In this biography memoire , Gabrielle Carey shines a spotlight on the almost forgotten 19 century Australian writer Elizabeth Von Arnim. Carey argues, persuasively I feel, that Von Arnim has a lot to say to modern women, in particular women writers, about freedom, relationships with men, the oppressive nature of marriage and ultimately the pursuit of happiness. interleaved with her discussion of Von Arnim‘s novels Carey includes substantial autobiographical details about her own relationships. A more slash and burn editor could’ve improved this book by pruning some of its middle sections and eliminating the longuers . Apart from that I really enjoyed it and it certainly persuaded me to start reading some of Von Arnim’ s work.

However, what really kept me turning the pages were Careys own autobiographical details. All of them interesting but many of them achingly sad. She dismisses all of her lovers and four husbands as uninspiring and admits to not being on speaking terms with any of her exes. Was there absolutely no one?

She says that she would’ve plagiarised a title from Von Arnim if she ever wrote about her own affair. The affair with a much younger man, fictionalised as ‘Emmett’ and later revealed as an abusive alcoholic, destroyed her last marriage and led to divorce and depression. Now this is the book that I really wish Carey had written. The experience, her sparse prose style, and fierce intellectual honesty could’ve produced something really great. An Australian Annie Ernaux?

Reading this encouraged me to look at some of Carey’s other work. Will any of it survive? Puberty Blues was iconic but rereading it recently the surfer slang had become opaque and difficult to follow, and I was a surfer in Sydney in the 70s. The rest of it, I fear, is doomed to end up as a minor footnote in Australian academic endeavours. A sad epitaph for a woman who defined herself as a writer.

[Jenny Esots · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first encounter with the author Elizabeth Von Arnim, but not Gabrielle Carey whose insightful reflections on life, love, lust, relationships and all the messy stuff in between engage the reader throughout.
I am not sure I identify with Elizabeth Von Arnim, this largely forgotten author of the early 1900's.
Elizabeth was a writer against the conventions of her times. She was also immensely privileged, with money, fame and social standing. However all through the book I felt acutely for Elizabeth's five children. Some of who we heard about, and some who were almost completely absent.
She was an absent mother, which ever way you look at it. She put her writing first, but more than that, she put herself first, which I find hard to reconcile.
Never-the-less I will investigate Elizabeth Von Arnim's books.
This style of memoir/biography is one of my preferred genres. It is through our own times and lens that we learn about life and our shared history. The format reminds me of another recent book - Max by Alex Miller, which also takes the reader to other times (Second World War) through the lens of a writer's experiences - in this case Alex knew Max, but struggled to find the real person in his lifetime.
The topic of happiness is interplayed throughout the semi-biography on Elizabeth Von Arnim. Principles for life that resonate strongly. However it is clear Elizabeth had her own struggles with depression at various times in her life and she never seemed to settle in one place for long, a restless soul would be a more apt description and/or title.

[Priscilla Shorne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I might be harsh but something about this book jarred with me and I am not sure what it was. As a biography, I do not think it offered any great insights and as a self help book, if that is what Gabrielle Carey wanted, it is not satisfactory

[Ms M L Jassington · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enchanting read about a fascinating character, with interesting snippets of the author's dramatic love-life interwoven. Forensically researched, this interesting biography of Elizabeth Von Arnim is a true delight for lovers of literary history, gardening and happiness. Like all of Gabrielle Carey's nonfiction, this is a superb and captivating read.

[Gulcin Cribb · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book. I am not sure about the style. The author may be attempting a different approach to writing so that it is not like a biography, but it is kind of biography. The author keeps on getting her own life experiences mixed up with those of the main character. It is a little bit annoying to some extent.
I enjoyed reading about Elizabeth Von Arnim.

[Liz N · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting subject in Elizabeth Von Arnim however I thought is skimmed the surface and there didn’t appear to be much real character exploration. It is a little like a long magazine article without much authorial observation.

[Kali Napier · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now I just want to read all of Elizabeth Von Arnim’s writing. Wouldn’t it be lovely to declare to be only happy. Despite a fascinating, tragic, peripatetic and disruptive life.

[Bronwyn Mcloughlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not entirely sure that the pursuit of happiness is an entirely justifiable purpose to life. Happiness helps, of course, but I am not convinced there is a universal recipe. That said, Carey has utilised a fellowship position to examine the life and works of Elizabeth von Arnim, a writer of some renown in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, born in Australia, but who variously lived in England and Europe. As a writer, whose works engage with exploration of relationships especially from the female viewpoint, Elizabeth was plying her craft at a time when women were starting to push the boundaries of their social restrictions. Elizabeth did not noticeably conform with nice notions of a woman's role. Her relationship with her first husband was somewhat fraught. Repeated pregnancies in the quest for a son did nothing to win her husband any brownie points, and much of the way she was treated was horrendous. She separated from her husband by taking herself off to England for a time, but eventually submitted to familial pleas and the son eventually arrived. But we hear nothing more of him. The husband became bankrupt and her writing income supported them, but after his eventual death, his successors in her love life were not really any more compatible. H G Wells, Francis Russell and then a fellow who was 24 years her junior. .... she was vain, and at no time seemed to be particularly living a life of penury. There were nannies and housekeepers and .... her life was difficult at times, but not in the way a working class woman living on the poverty line knew poverty.

Interwoven through this narrative, Carey has provided a parallel/contrast with details of her own life, with mismatched partners and issues of income. For a slim volume, there is a lot packed in. But there is something does not sit right. Elizabeth is interesting, both for her life and her writing, but she has to an extent manipulated the view that we can have of her. Like L.M. Montgomery, she has shaped the materials left behind for us to understand her life and motivations. Montgomery re-wrote her diaries until they told her story just as she wanted it told. Elizabeth burnt hers. Carey is left with the accounts others told of Elizabeth, and the stories she wrote that seemed to correspond with events in her own life. But they were just stories, and some of them have been shaped to put her own actions in a better light, especially in relation to the death of her daughter Felicitas.

But what to make of the whole package. For something written about happiness, it's not particularly cheery, although Elizabeth certainly makes sure that she enjoys her life once she has control of it on her own terms, and it is this ability to craft happiness, or at least what she imagines is happiness, that Carey is interested in. Elizabeth's novels are not depressing in the modern style - or at least that is the gist of Carey's assessment. And they are genuinely absorbing explorations of life, written with lightness and keen insight. But that whole idea of happiness being the centre of our universe .... maybe it's all about perspective, and the hand you are dealt.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

“The Countess of Kirribilli: The mysterious and free-spirited literary sensation who beguiled the world” by Joyce Morgan AND “Only Happiness Here: In Search of Elizabeth von Arnim” by Gabrielle Carey.
Given the subject of both of these books is Elizabeth von Arnim (aka Mary Annette Beauchamp aka (Countess) Elizabeth Russell) I have decided on a joint review having read them back-to-back.

The author of 21 books and a much written about character (she employed EM Forster as a tutor for her children and is said to have had an affair with HG Wells) von Arnim makes an excellent subject. Despite the fact that her works are often said to be ‘forgotten to history’, her life story has been the subject of a number of biographies and academic studies, so much so that it is hard to imagine what more there is to say that has not already been said. And yet these two books are good examples of very different approaches and, therefore very different reading experiences.

Morgan’s “Countess of Kirribilli is a very well researched, largely chronologically driven biography with some emphasis on von Arnim’s links with Australia. Carey’s exploration, while equally well researched and using many of the same sources and quotes is a far more philosophical journey, a more personal examination of von Arnim’s writing style and the works themselves. As Carey herself states her intention was not to write ‘a conventional biography’ but rather to share her personal love for this woman and her works.

Overall, I enjoyed both of these books but with some reservations. Morgan’s Countess of Kirribilli, bookended by two very good chapters, became a little too fact driven and impersonal for me. An information dump around dates and events. By contrast Carey’s Only Happiness suffered a little from the injection of the authors own life into the work and I wasn’t really convinced re her theory of happiness. Nevertheless, I am glad I entered into the life of Elizabeth von Arnim through these two very different lenses.

[Heather Barrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lovely rendering of von Arnim’s life: beautifully written and so evocative in its final paragraphs too.
I have read one other biography so I guess if there were gaps in this one by Gabrielle Carey I didn’t detect them.
I liked her theme of happiness: it was so appropriate to the character of Elizabeth. Von Arnim’s diaries gave very little away in terms of pain, anguish or despair. Her published writing was however more revealing and hence one knows she had personal struggles. But overall she presented a tough bright exterior. Hence the leading word ‘happiness’ is in the title of this biography.

I read The Solitary Summer, written in the late 1890’s by Elizabeth von Arnim. In it she waxed lyrical with garden stuff, interspersed with children, household duties and ‘the Man of Wrath’. You get a sense of her humorous take on life in this straight off; I described it as a Noel Cowardish sort of humour. But she takes off into the village to dispense largesse as was the custom of aristocrats to their nearby humble folk: there’s details about the poverty and ignorance of these folk around fundamental health and hygiene and I feel she deeply felt frustration and despair in the face of this poverty, in the efforts she made to help that were frequently to no avail, due to the ignorance and suspicions and the clinging to old traditions that these people maintained. Yet she writes of this with an overlay of humour goodwill and an ‘oh well’ sort of sigh in her words. There it is! Happiness!

I very much liked Carey’s biography and feel it is pretty much an accurate insight into Elizabeth von Arnim who might well have had it written on her forehead: only happiness here.

[SHR · Rating 2 out of 5]

maybe 2.5 stars
This was a mixed reading experience for me, equals parts infuriating and interesting. I found it to be more hagiometry than biography. It seemed to me that Carey found a template for self-forgiveness in von Arnim. The parallels to her own circumstances were made often, although not always smoothly or convincingly. The way Carey forgave, ignored or excused behaviour by von Arnim, while being critical of the same behaviour by in the men in von Arnim's life was telling, as was the reframing of shitty behaviour by von Arnim and the possible omission of pieces of von Arnim's life that didn't fit Carey's narrow narrative. Carey's insistance that von Arnim was always happy, or able to be happy, was pushed almost ridiculously. I was moved to scoff aloud when Carey claimed that von Arnim couldn't have been depressed during the time she wrote her "happiest" book. The resulting list of rules for happiness was unconvicing and I wasn't left wanting to read von Arnim's work. Still I would probably recommend this to someone who liked biographies because it got me thinking.

[Cel Jel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gabrielle fell in love with the happiness theme of Elizabeth von Arnim, and went looking for the steps to gain happiness. Each chapter relates to another way in which you can develop happiness, yet I found contradictions in the story.
Elizabeth von Arnim was born in Australia but taken back to England when young. She married a German and went and had a different type of life than the one she would have had had in England.
It was an interesting life, her resilience interesting.although I did not agree with Gabrielle that Elizabeth von Arnim had happiness, but would agree that she had resilience and sought ways to find enjoy,ent in her days.
An interesting read.

[Jack O'Donnell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read all 21 of her books: a couple twice, so I'm a bit of a Von Arnim junkie. I enjoyed this view of her life which meshes pretty well with others, and found the memoir trying to bridge the lessons of Elizabeth's life to Carey's own an interesting take, so yes- I liked it. I am still looking for more about Elitabeth so I'm sure that makes me a bit of a voyeur. I may just content myself with more rereading however.

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found many poignant moments in this interesting blend of biography and autobiography, in the light of the author's recent death. Carey sets out to dig deeper into the life and work of Elizabeth Von Armin, a writer whose work deserves to be much better known today than it is, by exploring the principles upon which she based her definition of "happiness". I, for one, will be seeking out more of the work of both women.

[Robert Watson · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's no surprise that I had not heard of Elizabeth Von Arnim until reading this close examination of her life and work. I had come to read it after thoroughly enjoying Carey's book on her mother's friendship with Randolph Stow. This work details all of Von Arnim's works and draws clear parallels between them and her own radical life in the early 20th century. Carey's views on men and relationships, female desire, and her dedication to writing all found support in Von Arnim's work.

[Holly McDonell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lovely read!!! A bit of a different perspective- not really a biography of Elizabeth von Arnim, not really a biography of Gabrielle Carey, a bit of a mix of both. Contained some of my favourite things: reading, hanging out, gardening, the European countryside, witty remarks, love stories.... I could go on. Will re-read!

[East-Daikon]

The tone was unexpectedly upbeat given that she would be dead in under three years. This is a hybrid biography/memoir where the author studies the subject in order to "figure out how to be happy". The vibe is very much "okay! i'm good! i've got it now!" but more like she's trying to convince herself of this hoping everything will then fall into place. There were lots of references to suicide in her last books and essays (both before this book and after it) and quite frankly someone who knew her needs to write something about that. It feels like this huge flashing neon sign that no one is talking about.

As you can imagine, I was just here for the memoir-y bits interwoven between the main topic. They were quite limited and left me wanting more. Her public image is serious (Dr Carey! University lecturer!) but despite her intelligence her life decisions are poor to the point where you think, my gosh, there's something undiagnosed here. Combined with her other books Falling Out of Love with Ivan Southall and In my father's house the bits and pieces of her life add up to paint a picture of someone who is quite flightly and troubled but no-one seems to notice it because of the false front that she presents. If someone writes a biography I would be all over that

[Janine Bellew · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read by an amazing author about another amazing author. Two inspiring and honest women. I love the way Gabrielle weaves small insightful details of her own life into the amazing life of Elizabeth. I highly recommend this easy to read and beautifully written book.