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Hematoma
A dangerous and erotic S&M vampire thriller . . .
Shay Kinsey’s body reads pain as pleasure. He indulges his masochism through body modification, but this practice often brings him more shame than relief—that is, until his desires put him under the needle of the mysterious and alluring tattoo artist Ricky.
When Ricky reveals his vampiric nature, Shay is offered a chance to give in to his impulses in an S&M relationship that promises deep intimacy, and even deeper pain. But with Ricky’s affection comes the attention of the city’s secret vampire organization, seemingly hell-bent on separating the two. As Shay falls into the dual dark worlds of lust and vampires, he is increasingly unable to figure out who to trust. Should Shay trust the enigmatic, ancient, and handsome Ricky—the first man to indulge his erotic fantasies? Or should he trust the cryptic vampire society trying to infiltrate his life? As Shay searches for the answers, Ricky begins to leave his mark on Shay in far more than ink.
Shay Kinsey’s body reads pain as pleasure. He indulges his masochism through body modification, but this practice often brings him more shame than relief—that is, until his desires put him under the needle of the mysterious and alluring tattoo artist Ricky.
When Ricky reveals his vampiric nature, Shay is offered a chance to give in to his impulses in an S&M relationship that promises deep intimacy, and even deeper pain. But with Ricky’s affection comes the attention of the city’s secret vampire organization, seemingly hell-bent on separating the two. As Shay falls into the dual dark worlds of lust and vampires, he is increasingly unable to figure out who to trust. Should Shay trust the enigmatic, ancient, and handsome Ricky—the first man to indulge his erotic fantasies? Or should he trust the cryptic vampire society trying to infiltrate his life? As Shay searches for the answers, Ricky begins to leave his mark on Shay in far more than ink.
274 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 25, 2020
1 person is currently reading
82 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
February 21, 2021
*** 3.5 stars ***
September 3, 2020
I'm here to rec the hell out of this book to readers who, just like me, like all the shades of grey in their reading/MCs. Who aren't all about cookie-cutter stories or endings. You know who you are :)
This is a debut novel by an #ownvoice author and it really is excellent reading.
Hematoma is...
Definitely different
Definitely dark
Well named
Has a good cover that conveys a lot
Sado-masochist.
It's like...
Audio-visual review at
This is a debut novel by an #ownvoice author and it really is excellent reading.
Hematoma is...
Definitely different
Definitely dark
Well named
Has a good cover that conveys a lot
Sado-masochist.
It's like...
Audio-visual review at
December 14, 2022
3.5
Aside from a few entirely predictable plot ‘twists’ and the somewhat anticlimactic ending, this was pretty fun. But ngl, I expected something much darker, and less cliche.
Aside from a few entirely predictable plot ‘twists’ and the somewhat anticlimactic ending, this was pretty fun. But ngl, I expected something much darker, and less cliche.
August 16, 2020
There are no words for how impressed I am by this story, the writing, the creativity involved. More than just a good book, this was an experience.
We start out with Shay, who's living a pretty dull life, but one of independence that he's proud of. At least, he's proud of the part he lets the world see. But there's always more than one side to every person and story.
Yes, there were a few unsettling parts to Shay's character, but that's exactly what made his story unique and believable. Because of his particular needs, he was vulnerable and easily led. He was the perfect prey for the hunter that Ricky was.
Ricky was intelligent, enticing, controlling, and everything that Shay had ever hoped for. It didn't take long before Ricky had him wanting more for himself. Had him taking chances, fighting to keep his own life, in spite of the life he had created with Ricky.
I found myself swaying back and forth while reading this, lost in the haze of 'no, he wouldn't do that' and 'why is he doing that?' I felt myself tense up, expecting eerie music to start crescendoing in the background as my finger flipped the pages. I was sucked in, seduced by the allure of mystery and intrigue, not entirely sure of the rules placed on vampires and what kills them, heals them, or strengthens them.
In the end, I found I was comforted by Shay, his thoughts and actions, and by his choices. I loved this story and the surprises I encountered as I flipped the pages. I couldn't have prepared myself for the beginning, middle, or ending. I was fully entranced the entire time.
I absolutely recommend this book to anyone who likes a bit of intrigue, darkness, paranormal, heated romance, and pain with their love stories. I'm definitely a fan of this author and can't wait to read more of their works!
We start out with Shay, who's living a pretty dull life, but one of independence that he's proud of. At least, he's proud of the part he lets the world see. But there's always more than one side to every person and story.
Yes, there were a few unsettling parts to Shay's character, but that's exactly what made his story unique and believable. Because of his particular needs, he was vulnerable and easily led. He was the perfect prey for the hunter that Ricky was.
Ricky was intelligent, enticing, controlling, and everything that Shay had ever hoped for. It didn't take long before Ricky had him wanting more for himself. Had him taking chances, fighting to keep his own life, in spite of the life he had created with Ricky.
I found myself swaying back and forth while reading this, lost in the haze of 'no, he wouldn't do that' and 'why is he doing that?' I felt myself tense up, expecting eerie music to start crescendoing in the background as my finger flipped the pages. I was sucked in, seduced by the allure of mystery and intrigue, not entirely sure of the rules placed on vampires and what kills them, heals them, or strengthens them.
In the end, I found I was comforted by Shay, his thoughts and actions, and by his choices. I loved this story and the surprises I encountered as I flipped the pages. I couldn't have prepared myself for the beginning, middle, or ending. I was fully entranced the entire time.
I absolutely recommend this book to anyone who likes a bit of intrigue, darkness, paranormal, heated romance, and pain with their love stories. I'm definitely a fan of this author and can't wait to read more of their works!
February 15, 2021
What the actual fuck?!
I don't know if I'm pissed, sad, angry, or what? All of that?!
This book broke me. I need to process.
ARC - full blog review later
It's so hard to write about this book without spoilers. And it's hard, because I'm still a wreck; I finished it 2 days ago, but I still can't get over it. It broke me into million pieces. It gave me all the emotions and questions I don't have answer for.
I started reading this book with one thing in mind; it's heavy on the S/M scenes and has vampires in it, so it would be an amazing read. What I haven't considered was that it would break me. That it would give me this many feelings and doubt. That after finishing the book the only thing that I'll be capable of is staring at the wall and re-playing the book in my head all the time. Questioning everything. Where was the moment when the story changed, where was the moment when I should have recognized something, where... where was Ricky... and why, and Shay. I was just as blind as Shay.
"This is how things had been for years. I wad addicted to pain and the sexual release it brought me, completely enveloped in my vice."
I loved reading the book. The S/M scenes were really well written, they were so, so HOT, especially the needle play. Loved reading when Ricky and Shay got together and played. The body modifications were really cool too, loved the tattoos and piercings, and it was both erotic and sweet when Ricky made those with Shay.
"The ink on my arms and the holes in my face were trophies of my desire, my arms an interlacing bramble of roses and other flora. But I had become addicted to body modification, and it was a costly lifestyle..."
The paranormal side of the story, the vampires and the Society... they were interesting, and I loved when Ricky opened up and told Shay about how he got turned and what he did. And the Society... I still don't know what to think. I had one thing on my mind while reading - without Leah, everything would have been amazing, and those things wouldn't have happened. I want to believe in that, because I'm deeply romantic and I want that to be the right thing.
But on the other hand, it's hard to accept that this isn't how this works. I'm just as blind as Shay, and want to believe.
I immediately went to the author's website for more info about the book, and just about everything... and that was the moment when I realized what exactly this book was about. As I said, I was blind to all of that happening and I wanted to believe in the romance.
"Why did I have to have this sick thing inside me that forced me to give everything up? Friends, love, sex. Everything disappeared because of my erotic addiction to pain."
This book has many trigger warnings, but the biggest isn't anywhere, that is in the storyline, that one is for you to see and feel. For you to decide.
Hematoma broke me. It's on my all time favorite books list, and if someone asks me which is the one book I recommend to read, this would be the one. I need everyone to read this book! It's beautiful, it's hurtful, it's everything and more.
And it can be healing for someone too.
Congratulations for this amazing masterpiece!
*I'm thinking about re-reading again, now without the pink-glasses...
I don't know if I'm pissed, sad, angry, or what? All of that?!
This book broke me. I need to process.
ARC - full blog review later
It's so hard to write about this book without spoilers. And it's hard, because I'm still a wreck; I finished it 2 days ago, but I still can't get over it. It broke me into million pieces. It gave me all the emotions and questions I don't have answer for.
I started reading this book with one thing in mind; it's heavy on the S/M scenes and has vampires in it, so it would be an amazing read. What I haven't considered was that it would break me. That it would give me this many feelings and doubt. That after finishing the book the only thing that I'll be capable of is staring at the wall and re-playing the book in my head all the time. Questioning everything. Where was the moment when the story changed, where was the moment when I should have recognized something, where... where was Ricky... and why, and Shay. I was just as blind as Shay.
"This is how things had been for years. I wad addicted to pain and the sexual release it brought me, completely enveloped in my vice."
I loved reading the book. The S/M scenes were really well written, they were so, so HOT, especially the needle play. Loved reading when Ricky and Shay got together and played. The body modifications were really cool too, loved the tattoos and piercings, and it was both erotic and sweet when Ricky made those with Shay.
"The ink on my arms and the holes in my face were trophies of my desire, my arms an interlacing bramble of roses and other flora. But I had become addicted to body modification, and it was a costly lifestyle..."
The paranormal side of the story, the vampires and the Society... they were interesting, and I loved when Ricky opened up and told Shay about how he got turned and what he did. And the Society... I still don't know what to think. I had one thing on my mind while reading - without Leah, everything would have been amazing, and those things wouldn't have happened. I want to believe in that, because I'm deeply romantic and I want that to be the right thing.
But on the other hand, it's hard to accept that this isn't how this works. I'm just as blind as Shay, and want to believe.
I immediately went to the author's website for more info about the book, and just about everything... and that was the moment when I realized what exactly this book was about. As I said, I was blind to all of that happening and I wanted to believe in the romance.
"Why did I have to have this sick thing inside me that forced me to give everything up? Friends, love, sex. Everything disappeared because of my erotic addiction to pain."
This book has many trigger warnings, but the biggest isn't anywhere, that is in the storyline, that one is for you to see and feel. For you to decide.
Hematoma broke me. It's on my all time favorite books list, and if someone asks me which is the one book I recommend to read, this would be the one. I need everyone to read this book! It's beautiful, it's hurtful, it's everything and more.
And it can be healing for someone too.
Congratulations for this amazing masterpiece!
*I'm thinking about re-reading again, now without the pink-glasses...
September 27, 2020
Hematoma was an awful pleasure to read, and yes that's a good thing. Definitely heed the warnings of the book itself and other reviewers. Read safely and feel feelings with me, dammit. (I think this has spoilers so I'm tagging it as such.)
Polk's writing is consistently evocative and often elicited physical response from me. Hematoma had me (on separate occasions) squirming, crying, biting my hands to keep quiet, and laying despondent in my bed. Finishing this book made me go to sleep at 11PM, two hours before my usual. It was a good idea. I needed the extra sleep to recover from holding the emotional weight of this work. I wouldn't have had it any other way.
The characterization is rich and enticing, and with every character introduced, I found myself wanting to learn about the side characters that we only see for a page or two on top of wanting to follow our main cast. I want to know more about the other vampires. I want to know more about Don. I want to know more about those goth party girls. There's so much richness to this world that we don't get to see because everything else isn't allowed time in Shay's life. And I'm not mad about that. This novel is a prime reflection of what it feels like to be in an abusive relationship. I was feeling that absorption right alongside Shay as Ricky swooped into his life - it took me back. 'Disturbingly familiar' is the only way to describe it.
A note about the sex scenes, from me, the masochist: the revelations later in the book definitely color the memories of the sex early on, but in the moment, reading it for the first time, it's hot as fuck. Get off to it while you can and then share in my guilt for having done so.
Hematoma is a wonderful book for masochists like myself who like to be put through the emotional wringer and be comforted afterwards. Even knowing where the plot was going, I kept wanting to feel hope, hope that ultimately wouldn't be rewarded - not the way I had thought I wanted it, at least. The epilogue feels like the nap you take after a hard cry: dark, warm, and hopeful. No, things aren't okay. But they could be, and that's enough to keep pushing forward.
Polk's writing is consistently evocative and often elicited physical response from me. Hematoma had me (on separate occasions) squirming, crying, biting my hands to keep quiet, and laying despondent in my bed. Finishing this book made me go to sleep at 11PM, two hours before my usual. It was a good idea. I needed the extra sleep to recover from holding the emotional weight of this work. I wouldn't have had it any other way.
The characterization is rich and enticing, and with every character introduced, I found myself wanting to learn about the side characters that we only see for a page or two on top of wanting to follow our main cast. I want to know more about the other vampires. I want to know more about Don. I want to know more about those goth party girls. There's so much richness to this world that we don't get to see because everything else isn't allowed time in Shay's life. And I'm not mad about that. This novel is a prime reflection of what it feels like to be in an abusive relationship. I was feeling that absorption right alongside Shay as Ricky swooped into his life - it took me back. 'Disturbingly familiar' is the only way to describe it.
A note about the sex scenes, from me, the masochist: the revelations later in the book definitely color the memories of the sex early on, but in the moment, reading it for the first time, it's hot as fuck. Get off to it while you can and then share in my guilt for having done so.
Hematoma is a wonderful book for masochists like myself who like to be put through the emotional wringer and be comforted afterwards. Even knowing where the plot was going, I kept wanting to feel hope, hope that ultimately wouldn't be rewarded - not the way I had thought I wanted it, at least. The epilogue feels like the nap you take after a hard cry: dark, warm, and hopeful. No, things aren't okay. But they could be, and that's enough to keep pushing forward.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 29, 2020
I must admit at first I was skeptical erotica is not my gene but I got it as a recommendation. So I decided to give it a try and I'm glad I gave it a chance. The language and descriptions are utterly beautiful. Every metaphor the author gives paints a very clear picture of the main character's feelings and thoughts.
I will admit Shay wasn't the most interesting main character pov I've ever read. Other then him being a masochist he's basically every self-loathing protagonist in a vampire novel who craves something new, which is why he really works because what he gets is one-eighty from the expected outcome.
The most interesting characters were the members of the vampire society due to how little we know about them other than interesting tidbits but I kind of like the mystery of them.
This is very much not a good vs evil story there's a lot of messy morality and complexity which really works because the theme of the story isn't one that has a lot of clear answers.
When I hear the words Vampire Erotica that's not exactly what comes to mind.
Some of the conclusions reached, in the end, leave me with the question was it for the best? Could certain characters have done more?
It's the kind of book that makes you think rather than telling you exactly what to think. It may not be for everyone because there are heavy triggering themes and the book pulls no punches but at the end of the day, I'd highly recommend Hematoma to anyone who thinks it might be worth a shot.
I will admit Shay wasn't the most interesting main character pov I've ever read. Other then him being a masochist he's basically every self-loathing protagonist in a vampire novel who craves something new, which is why he really works because what he gets is one-eighty from the expected outcome.
The most interesting characters were the members of the vampire society due to how little we know about them other than interesting tidbits but I kind of like the mystery of them.
This is very much not a good vs evil story there's a lot of messy morality and complexity which really works because the theme of the story isn't one that has a lot of clear answers.
When I hear the words Vampire Erotica that's not exactly what comes to mind.
Some of the conclusions reached, in the end, leave me with the question was it for the best? Could certain characters have done more?
It's the kind of book that makes you think rather than telling you exactly what to think. It may not be for everyone because there are heavy triggering themes and the book pulls no punches but at the end of the day, I'd highly recommend Hematoma to anyone who thinks it might be worth a shot.
September 16, 2020
A Joyfully Jay review.
4 stars
Hematoma is a dark, erotic, speculative fiction thriller that explores trauma, cycles of abuse, self-loathing, and the innate human craving for the freedom to live one’s life unashamedly and without external limitations, despite humankind’s complete existence within communities governed by such limitations. I appreciate that Hematoma is like a snapshot into Shay’s journey, a period in his life that, while important, transitions him to something new and out of the stasis he was living in; the end of the story is just the beginning.
Read Jovan’s review in its entirety here.
4 stars
Hematoma is a dark, erotic, speculative fiction thriller that explores trauma, cycles of abuse, self-loathing, and the innate human craving for the freedom to live one’s life unashamedly and without external limitations, despite humankind’s complete existence within communities governed by such limitations. I appreciate that Hematoma is like a snapshot into Shay’s journey, a period in his life that, while important, transitions him to something new and out of the stasis he was living in; the end of the story is just the beginning.
Read Jovan’s review in its entirety here.
June 1, 2021
4 stars
Not what I was expecting!
This is the debut novel for Polk and he’s written a great one. What’s interesting is that had I known this was NOT a romance, I probably never would have read it. The characters are interesting and readers are guessing in the beginning just who are the bad guys.
This is a dark read. No HEA. But if you like vampires, interesting, well-written characters, and S/M dynamics, this is a must!
Not what I was expecting!
This is the debut novel for Polk and he’s written a great one. What’s interesting is that had I known this was NOT a romance, I probably never would have read it. The characters are interesting and readers are guessing in the beginning just who are the bad guys.
This is a dark read. No HEA. But if you like vampires, interesting, well-written characters, and S/M dynamics, this is a must!
September 14, 2020
I'm not good at writing reviews but I just want to say this book was soo good! I like to categorize my books and this one was definitely 'dafuq did I just read'. And those are my favourite stories 😉. The story was captivating and the characters interesting. I certainly will reread this and can't wait for more of this author!
November 19, 2020
Look elsewhere for sparkly vampires. Matteo Polk has given us something far more complex, unnerving, and sexy here. Hematoma is not for the faint of heart or squeamish of belly. This story demands a little more of us. It asks us to sit with the gray of unclear SM ethics and the red of blood. I’m glad I did.
Polk has offered us characters with appeal. We have Shay, a masochist who probably thinks he’s a little more lost than he really is. His outlet is body modification: piercing, tattoos, and some self-harm. Enter Ricky, a tattoo artist who picks up on Shay’s pain-as-pleasure vibe. When Ricky tells Shay he’s a vampire, the possibilities for getting off seem endless. But matters are complicated when members of a “vampire society” begin trying to convince Shay that Ricky is more than a sadist. The society is made up of vampires and mortals both, and they insist Shay is in real danger. These society characters are written with personality and precision, and I’d gladly eat up a story about any of them.
Shay is in peril, for sure. The fun of this erotic thriller is working out from which direction! If you can hang with some rugged, unusual, bloody SM play and are looking for some life-and-death stakes, you’ll enjoy your time with Shay.
Polk has offered us characters with appeal. We have Shay, a masochist who probably thinks he’s a little more lost than he really is. His outlet is body modification: piercing, tattoos, and some self-harm. Enter Ricky, a tattoo artist who picks up on Shay’s pain-as-pleasure vibe. When Ricky tells Shay he’s a vampire, the possibilities for getting off seem endless. But matters are complicated when members of a “vampire society” begin trying to convince Shay that Ricky is more than a sadist. The society is made up of vampires and mortals both, and they insist Shay is in real danger. These society characters are written with personality and precision, and I’d gladly eat up a story about any of them.
Shay is in peril, for sure. The fun of this erotic thriller is working out from which direction! If you can hang with some rugged, unusual, bloody SM play and are looking for some life-and-death stakes, you’ll enjoy your time with Shay.
September 17, 2020
I've been reviewing a lot of ownvoices mlm lately, so I was happy to add this to my list when the author offered me a copy.
First of all, I appreciate the content warnings at the beginning. The themes in this book (and some of the scenes) get incredibly dark and readers should definitely be aware going in that this isn't a happy, steamy romance. It's toxic, it's abusive, but it's an incredibly interesting read.
Shay is likeable and relatable (even if his kink is super specific). He's living the millenial life and going nowhere, but not sure how to break out of it. It almost makes sense that he would immediately go for the cool, suave vampire tattoo artist. Ricky is definitely a generic brooding vampire, but I actually think that enhances the story. It shows that character archetype for what it actually is: toxic.
The vampires in the story feel suitably "other." The sunbruising is a particularly interesting feature of their existence that I appreciate. Although the black blood is a stand out as well. Even the good vampires in the story aren't totally harmless looking. Gil is always just on this side of uncanny.
The sex scenes are definitely not going to be to everyone's taste. There's hardly a true vanilla scene to be had (mostly from Shay's kink) so for those that haven't strayed too far into erotica, be very cautious. There are also moments of non-consent to be aware of. This is BDSM done badly. So if you're brand new to reading sex scenes, you should probably put this one away for later.
As for the relationship itself, I found it difficult at times to believe the love. I will admit that it's likely because of knowing ahead of time that it would turn sour. And it is incredibly frustrating watching Shane refuse help from those who only want to save him from a toxic relationship. But since that's kind of the point, I can't criticize the book for it.
All in all, this is the kind of book you need to know about before getting into. It's intense and anxiety-inducing. I felt genuinely anxious for Shay at times. The ending was one of my favorite types for this kind of book: hopeful instead of happy. It's not all happy hearts and smiling faces at the end. But you get the feeling Shay will get there one day. And if you're in a similar dark place like the one Shay gets to, I would suggest extreme caution in getting into it, as it could cause a mental spiral. Or who knows, maybe this is just the catharsis you need.
First of all, I appreciate the content warnings at the beginning. The themes in this book (and some of the scenes) get incredibly dark and readers should definitely be aware going in that this isn't a happy, steamy romance. It's toxic, it's abusive, but it's an incredibly interesting read.
Shay is likeable and relatable (even if his kink is super specific). He's living the millenial life and going nowhere, but not sure how to break out of it. It almost makes sense that he would immediately go for the cool, suave vampire tattoo artist. Ricky is definitely a generic brooding vampire, but I actually think that enhances the story. It shows that character archetype for what it actually is: toxic.
The vampires in the story feel suitably "other." The sunbruising is a particularly interesting feature of their existence that I appreciate. Although the black blood is a stand out as well. Even the good vampires in the story aren't totally harmless looking. Gil is always just on this side of uncanny.
The sex scenes are definitely not going to be to everyone's taste. There's hardly a true vanilla scene to be had (mostly from Shay's kink) so for those that haven't strayed too far into erotica, be very cautious. There are also moments of non-consent to be aware of. This is BDSM done badly. So if you're brand new to reading sex scenes, you should probably put this one away for later.
As for the relationship itself, I found it difficult at times to believe the love. I will admit that it's likely because of knowing ahead of time that it would turn sour. And it is incredibly frustrating watching Shane refuse help from those who only want to save him from a toxic relationship. But since that's kind of the point, I can't criticize the book for it.
All in all, this is the kind of book you need to know about before getting into. It's intense and anxiety-inducing. I felt genuinely anxious for Shay at times. The ending was one of my favorite types for this kind of book: hopeful instead of happy. It's not all happy hearts and smiling faces at the end. But you get the feeling Shay will get there one day. And if you're in a similar dark place like the one Shay gets to, I would suggest extreme caution in getting into it, as it could cause a mental spiral. Or who knows, maybe this is just the catharsis you need.
Read
September 16, 2020A Joyfully Jay review.
Shay Kinsey’s life is shaped by his need for pain and the shame he feels about it. Having been burned by attempts at relationships with “normal” people, Shay has given up on friendship and intimacy. His tiny, cramped apartment is empty of anything but the bare necessities (outside of his implements of pain), as the majority of the income from his low-paying job goes towards piercings and tattoos to feed his “addiction.” When Shay’s regular artist leaves Inkjet without telling him, Shay is filled with worry that her disgust of him led to her abandonment and the shame almost makes him forego his next appointment…but the compulsion is too intense to ignore and he reluctantly agrees to allow Ricky to do his piercings.
From the moment they meet, Shay finds Ricky full of himself…and their next meeting is really no better. To Shay, Ricky seems arrogant and condescending, and not much about his manner or words puts Shay at ease. However, when Ricky is intrigued rather than repulsed by Shay’s masochism, these impressions cease to matter; the only important thing is that Ricky wants to indulge Shay’s needs and that he does it so well. Soon, Ricky becomes Shay’s “beautiful, loving sadist” and Shay’s everything. The only blight on his cocoon of pleasure is “The Society,” an organization of vampires that polices the lives of vampires and their donors. Shay’s association with Ricky, who considers Society members personae non gratae, brings him to their attention. As one of the Society’s main goals is the protection of humans, Shay’s involvement with Ricky, who they believe to be dangerous, is cause for concern and intervention.
Soon, Shay finds himself pulled between conflicting ideas and allegiances: his view of Ricky as a loving and understanding free thinker versus the uncontrollable danger the Society sees and his love for Ricky and his desire to please Ricky in all ways versus his growing need to maintain a new friendship with a Society member that Ricky disapproves of. In the midst of lust, love, cryptic answers, hidden agendas and motivations, and the fear of losing the things he thought he’d never have, discerning concern from manipulation and half-truths from deceit becomes almost impossible…but hesitation could cost Shay everything.
I had a hard time finding a book for the New-to-Me Author Week of Reading Challenge month; many of the choices felt a bit too familiar. When I read the blurb for "Hematoma", I was intrigued, but cautious; however, I’m glad I took a chance on Matteo Polk’s debut novel. "Hematoma" is a dark, erotic, speculative fiction thriller that explores trauma, cycles of abuse, self-loathing, and the innate human craving for the freedom to live one’s life unashamedly and without external limitations, despite humankind’s complete existence within communities governed by such limitations. I appreciate that "Hematoma" is like a snapshot into Shay’s journey, a period in his life that, while important, transitions him to something new and out of the stasis he was living in; the end of the story is just the beginning. In many books, especially romances, the protagonist(s)’s arc/journey is presented as more or less complete at HEA, logical given that the “ever after” implies as much. This is not the case for this book. Thus, if you are looking for hearts ‘n flowers-landia or a couple-centric romance that has a bit of darkness to up the angst factor and make the HEA/HFN more satisfactory, this will probably not be your cuppa.
To me, at its core, Hemtoma is about humanity and all its lovely and ugly contradictions—from the desire to be loved for who you are while hating who you are, to the desire to be free to live your own life and make your own choices while subjugating others and stripping them of theirs. As one follows Shay through his shameful despair, naked desperation, and abject relief to his complete immersion into the joy he finds in the pain Ricky inflicts and, more importantly, Ricky’s unquestioning acceptance, it’s hard not to contemplate things like: what are the trade-offs and/or consequences of complete freedom, or when does one person’s freedom inhibit someone else’s? How do people choose to navigate these restrictions? etc. Whether by design or simply a consequence of the ideas it covers, "Hematoma"’s presentation of the characters and their motivations is at times as contradictory, annoying, and ambiguously gray as the humanity it explores. For example, Shay’s masochistic needs are so great, his desperation for pain leaps from the page. He has to constantly check himself from doing real harm and knows he needs better outlets. Yet, he knows nothing about BDSM (not even that the M stands for his tribe). In Shay’s view:
"Other people don’t do this. It’s not like, you know, BDSM or something like that, it’s not ropes and handcuffs. That shit, even married couples try it out."
His desperation cannot overpower his shame or societal conditioning enough to truly consider that his needs are normal and there are safe ways to find satisfaction; he is almost as judgmental as those who shun him, having internalized the societal negativity towards sadomasochism to the point where he
"…never wanted to be the sort of person that [he] imagined went to [S & M] clubs; the sort who goes to these dark little basements amidst sweaty, older men looking to escape their wives’ nagging under a Dominatrix’s paddle.
Ricky’s nature, too, is as oppositional as Shay’s, though as the story is told from Shay’s POV, he is more opaque at times; coldly complimentary, sympathetically dismissive, understandingly blunt and ordinary, yet extraordinary, Ricky is the enigma that pulls the story along and leaves the reader uneasy and unsettled as he blurs the line between what one considers consensual sadism and dominance and nonconsensual abuse and control. His causal disclosure to Shay about being a vampire and making it so mundane is an example of how the story is told and the underpinning of one of "Hematoma"’s musings—anything can become normal and acceptable, for the good and the ill. Similarly, the Society adheres to (or suffers from) the ever-present discrepancies in actions and ideals. On the one hand, their constant refrain to Shay is they are concerned for him and want to keep him safe; on the other, they are prone to vagaries and side tangents when asked for proof, leaving Shay in the same conflicted and vulnerable state.
While the Society’s name is a bit on the nose, as the arbiter of acceptable vampiric behavior and practices, it functions in the same way as our own, creating the norms, standards, and strictures to which everyone is supposed to adhere and has the same limited flexibility and tolerance for those who live their life differently. Their presence in the story illustrates how creation of acceptable norms can isolate people and make them feel as if their very existence is taboo and exemplifies how laws ostensibly for protection can be used to control behaviors that aren’t harmful, just not “acceptable” (anti sodomy and miscegenation laws, anyone?). They also typify how, when a group comes to power and decides their way is the only way and ignores (with extreme prejudice) the beliefs of those who lived in and understood the world differently for hundreds of years before their arrival, it can create resentment rather than the sought after harmony. To the Society’s credit, their allegorical representation is an extreme example in that vampires living outside accepted norms can be decidedly fatal to humans as old cultural practices of some vampires constitute straight up murder to us, but simple cattle slaughtering to them.
However, the way in which the Society judges and acts, how they unintentionally cause harm and how their existence and structure has its roots in a desire for power and control, self-hatred, and self-loathing, makes it hard to ignore how systems like these exist that have almost completely erased other cultures’ more flexible and embracing view of the world and/or corrupted them in such a way as to bring out the worst in them—from the systematic erasure of earlier, historical acceptance of those outside the binary, to railing against the mistreatment of women in other cultures, while ignoring that many of these misogynist/patriarchal ideals were introduced into that culture’s laws by foreign/colonial powers that offered men power over women in exchange for compliance.
The one overarching issue I had with "Hematoma" is that while the ambiguous and uncertain tone evoked throughout generally serves the plot and themes well, there are times when it just doesn’t and makes character traits, descriptions, and ideals seem muddled rather than mysterious. However, while I may have just be in an overly contemplative mood when I read "Hematoma", I believe it did what good speculative fiction is supposed to do: it manages to examine thought-provoking commentary on weighty topics while still allowing escapism from the reality of said topics. If you are looking for an interesting take on vampire lore, the blurred lines between obsession and love, pleasure and pain, and what makes someone a monster, you may like "Hematoma".
Shay Kinsey’s life is shaped by his need for pain and the shame he feels about it. Having been burned by attempts at relationships with “normal” people, Shay has given up on friendship and intimacy. His tiny, cramped apartment is empty of anything but the bare necessities (outside of his implements of pain), as the majority of the income from his low-paying job goes towards piercings and tattoos to feed his “addiction.” When Shay’s regular artist leaves Inkjet without telling him, Shay is filled with worry that her disgust of him led to her abandonment and the shame almost makes him forego his next appointment…but the compulsion is too intense to ignore and he reluctantly agrees to allow Ricky to do his piercings.
From the moment they meet, Shay finds Ricky full of himself…and their next meeting is really no better. To Shay, Ricky seems arrogant and condescending, and not much about his manner or words puts Shay at ease. However, when Ricky is intrigued rather than repulsed by Shay’s masochism, these impressions cease to matter; the only important thing is that Ricky wants to indulge Shay’s needs and that he does it so well. Soon, Ricky becomes Shay’s “beautiful, loving sadist” and Shay’s everything. The only blight on his cocoon of pleasure is “The Society,” an organization of vampires that polices the lives of vampires and their donors. Shay’s association with Ricky, who considers Society members personae non gratae, brings him to their attention. As one of the Society’s main goals is the protection of humans, Shay’s involvement with Ricky, who they believe to be dangerous, is cause for concern and intervention.
Soon, Shay finds himself pulled between conflicting ideas and allegiances: his view of Ricky as a loving and understanding free thinker versus the uncontrollable danger the Society sees and his love for Ricky and his desire to please Ricky in all ways versus his growing need to maintain a new friendship with a Society member that Ricky disapproves of. In the midst of lust, love, cryptic answers, hidden agendas and motivations, and the fear of losing the things he thought he’d never have, discerning concern from manipulation and half-truths from deceit becomes almost impossible…but hesitation could cost Shay everything.
I had a hard time finding a book for the New-to-Me Author Week of Reading Challenge month; many of the choices felt a bit too familiar. When I read the blurb for "Hematoma", I was intrigued, but cautious; however, I’m glad I took a chance on Matteo Polk’s debut novel. "Hematoma" is a dark, erotic, speculative fiction thriller that explores trauma, cycles of abuse, self-loathing, and the innate human craving for the freedom to live one’s life unashamedly and without external limitations, despite humankind’s complete existence within communities governed by such limitations. I appreciate that "Hematoma" is like a snapshot into Shay’s journey, a period in his life that, while important, transitions him to something new and out of the stasis he was living in; the end of the story is just the beginning. In many books, especially romances, the protagonist(s)’s arc/journey is presented as more or less complete at HEA, logical given that the “ever after” implies as much. This is not the case for this book. Thus, if you are looking for hearts ‘n flowers-landia or a couple-centric romance that has a bit of darkness to up the angst factor and make the HEA/HFN more satisfactory, this will probably not be your cuppa.
To me, at its core, Hemtoma is about humanity and all its lovely and ugly contradictions—from the desire to be loved for who you are while hating who you are, to the desire to be free to live your own life and make your own choices while subjugating others and stripping them of theirs. As one follows Shay through his shameful despair, naked desperation, and abject relief to his complete immersion into the joy he finds in the pain Ricky inflicts and, more importantly, Ricky’s unquestioning acceptance, it’s hard not to contemplate things like: what are the trade-offs and/or consequences of complete freedom, or when does one person’s freedom inhibit someone else’s? How do people choose to navigate these restrictions? etc. Whether by design or simply a consequence of the ideas it covers, "Hematoma"’s presentation of the characters and their motivations is at times as contradictory, annoying, and ambiguously gray as the humanity it explores. For example, Shay’s masochistic needs are so great, his desperation for pain leaps from the page. He has to constantly check himself from doing real harm and knows he needs better outlets. Yet, he knows nothing about BDSM (not even that the M stands for his tribe). In Shay’s view:
"Other people don’t do this. It’s not like, you know, BDSM or something like that, it’s not ropes and handcuffs. That shit, even married couples try it out."
His desperation cannot overpower his shame or societal conditioning enough to truly consider that his needs are normal and there are safe ways to find satisfaction; he is almost as judgmental as those who shun him, having internalized the societal negativity towards sadomasochism to the point where he
"…never wanted to be the sort of person that [he] imagined went to [S & M] clubs; the sort who goes to these dark little basements amidst sweaty, older men looking to escape their wives’ nagging under a Dominatrix’s paddle.
Ricky’s nature, too, is as oppositional as Shay’s, though as the story is told from Shay’s POV, he is more opaque at times; coldly complimentary, sympathetically dismissive, understandingly blunt and ordinary, yet extraordinary, Ricky is the enigma that pulls the story along and leaves the reader uneasy and unsettled as he blurs the line between what one considers consensual sadism and dominance and nonconsensual abuse and control. His causal disclosure to Shay about being a vampire and making it so mundane is an example of how the story is told and the underpinning of one of "Hematoma"’s musings—anything can become normal and acceptable, for the good and the ill. Similarly, the Society adheres to (or suffers from) the ever-present discrepancies in actions and ideals. On the one hand, their constant refrain to Shay is they are concerned for him and want to keep him safe; on the other, they are prone to vagaries and side tangents when asked for proof, leaving Shay in the same conflicted and vulnerable state.
While the Society’s name is a bit on the nose, as the arbiter of acceptable vampiric behavior and practices, it functions in the same way as our own, creating the norms, standards, and strictures to which everyone is supposed to adhere and has the same limited flexibility and tolerance for those who live their life differently. Their presence in the story illustrates how creation of acceptable norms can isolate people and make them feel as if their very existence is taboo and exemplifies how laws ostensibly for protection can be used to control behaviors that aren’t harmful, just not “acceptable” (anti sodomy and miscegenation laws, anyone?). They also typify how, when a group comes to power and decides their way is the only way and ignores (with extreme prejudice) the beliefs of those who lived in and understood the world differently for hundreds of years before their arrival, it can create resentment rather than the sought after harmony. To the Society’s credit, their allegorical representation is an extreme example in that vampires living outside accepted norms can be decidedly fatal to humans as old cultural practices of some vampires constitute straight up murder to us, but simple cattle slaughtering to them.
However, the way in which the Society judges and acts, how they unintentionally cause harm and how their existence and structure has its roots in a desire for power and control, self-hatred, and self-loathing, makes it hard to ignore how systems like these exist that have almost completely erased other cultures’ more flexible and embracing view of the world and/or corrupted them in such a way as to bring out the worst in them—from the systematic erasure of earlier, historical acceptance of those outside the binary, to railing against the mistreatment of women in other cultures, while ignoring that many of these misogynist/patriarchal ideals were introduced into that culture’s laws by foreign/colonial powers that offered men power over women in exchange for compliance.
The one overarching issue I had with "Hematoma" is that while the ambiguous and uncertain tone evoked throughout generally serves the plot and themes well, there are times when it just doesn’t and makes character traits, descriptions, and ideals seem muddled rather than mysterious. However, while I may have just be in an overly contemplative mood when I read "Hematoma", I believe it did what good speculative fiction is supposed to do: it manages to examine thought-provoking commentary on weighty topics while still allowing escapism from the reality of said topics. If you are looking for an interesting take on vampire lore, the blurred lines between obsession and love, pleasure and pain, and what makes someone a monster, you may like "Hematoma".
January 4, 2021
I have read Hematoma after I've had chance to be acquaintanced with some other works of Matteo Polk. And that was a great pleasure to read, although with mixed emotions.
At the end of the day full of worries and problems you don't expect yourself to be put into more excitement, but there I was - every evening as I had time, I read Hematoma. I felt so much emotions that it's hard to write everything.
The main thing - the author succeeded to keep you in focus whole time. From the beginning and introduction of Shay till the very end.
As I was reading I cought myself thinking "why you did this?", "No, don't do that", "yes, yes, yes!". But I always was satisfied with turns of the plot. Author did great job in describing or explaining things without going in too deep and boring.
Next important part is emotional swing, that you catch yourself all the time. You like the main character, than you worry for him, at some point you try to scold him for what he do, than you want to hug him. It's like you are experiencing all feelings at ones.
The great achievement of author is the way he shows the world to us, the absence of absolute duality. There are no just white and black, there is love that brings the pain, and pain that showers you in love. The bad and the good? The friend and enemy? You can't know for sure. Everything so mixed that it's hard to identify what is what.
Especially when it comes to other main character - Ricky. Everything with him is... uncertain? I don't know how to explain, the way he loves and shows it is wholesome, but with very bitter taste, and I felt it till the very end. And at some point, when Shay wants to make some conclusion for Ricky, it brings strong emotions...
And of course, the erotica is big part of the whole picture. The way it is described is incredible because I don't think I can coherently put such experience in words, and Matteo let us take a look at that part with a lot of pleasure.
I can talk about Hematoma for years I think. For me it is one of the books that leaves an indelible mark on your soul. We all are in one way or another deeply traumatized, and Matteo Polk let us to see some parts of person that is or was going through a lot in his life. Parts that usually we try to hide, even from ourselves.
In conclusion, I want to wish author more creative successes! Thank you for your works, it's always a pleasure!
At the end of the day full of worries and problems you don't expect yourself to be put into more excitement, but there I was - every evening as I had time, I read Hematoma. I felt so much emotions that it's hard to write everything.
The main thing - the author succeeded to keep you in focus whole time. From the beginning and introduction of Shay till the very end.
As I was reading I cought myself thinking "why you did this?", "No, don't do that", "yes, yes, yes!". But I always was satisfied with turns of the plot. Author did great job in describing or explaining things without going in too deep and boring.
Next important part is emotional swing, that you catch yourself all the time. You like the main character, than you worry for him, at some point you try to scold him for what he do, than you want to hug him. It's like you are experiencing all feelings at ones.
The great achievement of author is the way he shows the world to us, the absence of absolute duality. There are no just white and black, there is love that brings the pain, and pain that showers you in love. The bad and the good? The friend and enemy? You can't know for sure. Everything so mixed that it's hard to identify what is what.
Especially when it comes to other main character - Ricky. Everything with him is... uncertain? I don't know how to explain, the way he loves and shows it is wholesome, but with very bitter taste, and I felt it till the very end. And at some point, when Shay wants to make some conclusion for Ricky, it brings strong emotions...
And of course, the erotica is big part of the whole picture. The way it is described is incredible because I don't think I can coherently put such experience in words, and Matteo let us take a look at that part with a lot of pleasure.
I can talk about Hematoma for years I think. For me it is one of the books that leaves an indelible mark on your soul. We all are in one way or another deeply traumatized, and Matteo Polk let us to see some parts of person that is or was going through a lot in his life. Parts that usually we try to hide, even from ourselves.
In conclusion, I want to wish author more creative successes! Thank you for your works, it's always a pleasure!
February 24, 2021
"Your pain fascinates me, Shay. Your craving. Your masochism. What it does to you is beautiful"
This book is incredible! Really, really, really incredible. Dark, intense, erotic, disturbing, messed up and so good! It's a ride of ups and downs, of differents feels and it has so many turns that we don't know what's coming next. It kept me on the edge of my seat. It also had some hot, steamy scenes!
Amazing characters, who felt so real with their flaws and struggles. I wanted to learn more from them, they were all so interesting.
The relationship between Shay and Ricky is very well developed, starting with a S/M dynamics and growing into dominance, dependence, obsession, abuse... it just gets so deep in our emotions with all the blury lines between right and wrong, pain and pleasure, trust and fear, good and evil, health and sickness. It certainly made me question what would be the best outcome after all.
The writting is amazing, beautiful and intense. But, this is not an easy read, as it portraits difficult and very heavy themes that can be triggering for some.
Not a romance with a HEA for the couple, but it has a great ending, that suits the story perfectly.
"The pale white skin of my wrist, bereft of scars, somehow seemed like a scar unto itself. The absence of reminders serving to remind me, every day, of the man I'd been to get to this point, for better or worse"
This book is incredible! Really, really, really incredible. Dark, intense, erotic, disturbing, messed up and so good! It's a ride of ups and downs, of differents feels and it has so many turns that we don't know what's coming next. It kept me on the edge of my seat. It also had some hot, steamy scenes!
Amazing characters, who felt so real with their flaws and struggles. I wanted to learn more from them, they were all so interesting.
The relationship between Shay and Ricky is very well developed, starting with a S/M dynamics and growing into dominance, dependence, obsession, abuse... it just gets so deep in our emotions with all the blury lines between right and wrong, pain and pleasure, trust and fear, good and evil, health and sickness. It certainly made me question what would be the best outcome after all.
The writting is amazing, beautiful and intense. But, this is not an easy read, as it portraits difficult and very heavy themes that can be triggering for some.
Not a romance with a HEA for the couple, but it has a great ending, that suits the story perfectly.
"The pale white skin of my wrist, bereft of scars, somehow seemed like a scar unto itself. The absence of reminders serving to remind me, every day, of the man I'd been to get to this point, for better or worse"
December 23, 2020
I have not read such a well written book about masochism and sadism until Hematoma by Matteo Polk. This is a very complicated topic to talk about and Polk does a fantastic job of explaining someone’s feelings behind this desire. This is not a recommendation for these acts, but a story that explains Ricky’s wants and feelings. A fine line here (smile).
Then Polk puts a spin on the already complicated tale of acceptance, self-esteem, and desire by adding a paranormal slant and dark edge. I had no clue the story was going in this direction and I was shocked and absorbed. Polk had me by the throat and did not let go. Holy sugar.
I can see this turning into a series because his supporting cast of characters have a story to tell too. They are intriguing, dark, and sometimes funny.
Kudos to Polk for adding the disclaimer and trigger warning at the beginning of the book. Hematoma takes you into a dark romance and makes you feel it long after you put it down.
I received an ARC of this book and I am writing a review without prejudice and voluntarily.
Then Polk puts a spin on the already complicated tale of acceptance, self-esteem, and desire by adding a paranormal slant and dark edge. I had no clue the story was going in this direction and I was shocked and absorbed. Polk had me by the throat and did not let go. Holy sugar.
I can see this turning into a series because his supporting cast of characters have a story to tell too. They are intriguing, dark, and sometimes funny.
Kudos to Polk for adding the disclaimer and trigger warning at the beginning of the book. Hematoma takes you into a dark romance and makes you feel it long after you put it down.
I received an ARC of this book and I am writing a review without prejudice and voluntarily.
December 8, 2024
Beautiful
I'm going to keep this review short. I went into this book blind and I think you should too. This is a very, VERY dark vampire romance. The trigger warning is not just for show. Read it and take it to heart. That being said, this book is beautiful. It's well written, well crafted, has really interesting characters, and has a nice take on traditional vampire lore. Not to mention, this smut was pretty hot.
My only complaint, and it's a teeny tiny one, is that I kind of wish the ending had gone another way. Usually when books are this dark I think they're more interesting when they don't end the way this one did, but I understand why it ended the way it did. There is a metaphor here. I saw it and hopefully you will too. If you like dark books that keep you on the edge of your seat you'll love this. 5 easy stars.
I'm going to keep this review short. I went into this book blind and I think you should too. This is a very, VERY dark vampire romance. The trigger warning is not just for show. Read it and take it to heart. That being said, this book is beautiful. It's well written, well crafted, has really interesting characters, and has a nice take on traditional vampire lore. Not to mention, this smut was pretty hot.
My only complaint, and it's a teeny tiny one, is that I kind of wish the ending had gone another way. Usually when books are this dark I think they're more interesting when they don't end the way this one did, but I understand why it ended the way it did. There is a metaphor here. I saw it and hopefully you will too. If you like dark books that keep you on the edge of your seat you'll love this. 5 easy stars.
October 23, 2020
Love the writing, love the atmosphere! I went into this book thinking there would be hot vampire sex and there was for a while but mostly there was an abusive relationship between a vampire and a human (something something abusers suck all the life from you). The last 40% I had a huge knot in my stomach, like watching a car crash in slow motion.
I’d recommend but only if you know what you’re getting into — otherwise it’s a bit of a shock!
I’d recommend but only if you know what you’re getting into — otherwise it’s a bit of a shock!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 29, 2022
This is not erotica or dark romance, it's a fictional story about abusive relationships with fantasy aspects & kink scenes... This book should definitely have come with trigger warnings like - tragedy, domestic violence, abuse, betrayal, trust issue, etc... Though, I consider myself a person with a strong mind, reading this book just ruined my entire day...It's definitely not my first S&M erotica vampire book but it's one of those "bitter ones" that break me.
The entire book is a rollercoaster of emotions. Not between happiness & grief, but between "numbness & despair". Even though there are a lot of sex scenes, lusty feelings, and "I love you(s)" in this book - they just feel so "empty". More like fake fleeting feelings, so I didn't feel any satisfaction. If you're like me, a person who wants dark erotica/romance entertainment from S&M blood plays - you might be disappointed...This is the wrong book. An expensive one, too ($9.99 as opposed to my normal price range of $1.99-5.99).
This is the book for those who want their heart trampled, their mood bruised, or their day ruined - it might be a perfect book for those who like tragedy (not me) or those who want the worst to happen to the characters without even a droplet of happiness (the author tried, I suppose, but those glimpses just didn't feel happy to me at all...).
What I really hate about this book:
Yet, there are also some sensical points that I have to applaud:
**Not recommended for those with a broken heart & suicidal tendency or depression, it could literally hurt you emotionally...
The entire book is a rollercoaster of emotions. Not between happiness & grief, but between "numbness & despair". Even though there are a lot of sex scenes, lusty feelings, and "I love you(s)" in this book - they just feel so "empty". More like fake fleeting feelings, so I didn't feel any satisfaction. If you're like me, a person who wants dark erotica/romance entertainment from S&M blood plays - you might be disappointed...This is the wrong book. An expensive one, too ($9.99 as opposed to my normal price range of $1.99-5.99).
This is the book for those who want their heart trampled, their mood bruised, or their day ruined - it might be a perfect book for those who like tragedy (not me) or those who want the worst to happen to the characters without even a droplet of happiness (the author tried, I suppose, but those glimpses just didn't feel happy to me at all...).
What I really hate about this book:
Yet, there are also some sensical points that I have to applaud:
**Not recommended for those with a broken heart & suicidal tendency or depression, it could literally hurt you emotionally...
October 29, 2022
What are you trying to do make me cry in the middle of the night , I want Ricky back as well RESURRECT HIM!!! ( ah before you say that this about realizing Ricky is a dick i know but like please this type of romance is like everything I want and need my desire needs to be filled.)
November 5, 2025
I absolutely love this book. I’ve re-read it at least a dozen times.
Their relationship dynamic is perfect. I’m hoping for a comeback for both Shay and Ricky, in a second book. I just love their relationship even if it is on the Darker side of romance.
Their relationship dynamic is perfect. I’m hoping for a comeback for both Shay and Ricky, in a second book. I just love their relationship even if it is on the Darker side of romance.
January 22, 2023
It is good, but advertised in a very misleading way.
October 18, 2025
Flipping the human falls in love with a vampire trope on its head, Hematoma forces the reader to watch through our narrators eyes as he is slowly drawn into isolation by a partner who means him harm. The escalation of the violence and the tension was perfect, sex scenes drifting from delightfully erotic to downright concerning. Throughout it all kinks were never made out to be the problem, which was so refreshing. Rather the sadomasochism was used as a canvas, to explore shame, self destruction, power dynamics, and taking control over one’s trauma (for better or worse).
Above all things this book is a shocking nuanced exploration of the cycle of abuse. The acknowledgment at the end that Ricky was a victim too was really touching, not to explain away his actions, but to show that things aren’t black and white. Shay breaking the cycle through community, accepting himself as being worthy of love felt so satisfying.
Above all things this book is a shocking nuanced exploration of the cycle of abuse. The acknowledgment at the end that Ricky was a victim too was really touching, not to explain away his actions, but to show that things aren’t black and white. Shay breaking the cycle through community, accepting himself as being worthy of love felt so satisfying.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews