Vanity Will Get You Somewhere: An Autobiography

by Joseph Cotten

Joseph Cottens story begins in Tidewater, Virginia, moves on to an episode as a Miami potato salad tycoon and then brings us to his first big break as an actor, in the New York theatre. Cotten describes how he met the flamboyant Orson Welles- at a radio audition at which Welles set a wastepaper basket on fire- and their involvement with the Mercury theatre. This led to Cottens first film role, as Orsons co-star in Citizen Kane, quickly followed by parts in The Magnificent Ambersons and The Third Man. Orson- perhaps the only man to use Churchill as a stooge while trying to set up a film deal- was a lifelong friend of Cottens, and this autobiography was one of the last works he read before his untimely death in 1985. Cotten takes us behind the scenes of his stage plays and films, recalling amusing and intimate stories of his adventures with Ingrid Bergman, Marilyn Monroe, Katharine Hepburn, David Niven, David O. Selznick, Alfred Hitchcock and many others. Sensitive to his own motivations, frank about his marriages and warmly revealing about himself and his friends, Cotten has written much more than the usual film star biography. His skills as an actor have made him a master of character and dramatic momentum, and he brings the same talents to his writing. Vanity Will get You Somewhere is a generous, loving and humorous portrait of a man without a shred of vanity in his nature- and of his friends and colleagues in the larger-than-life world of show business.

Genres: Biography, Media Tie In, Nonfiction, Memoir, Autobiography

280 pages, Paperback

First published March 24, 2000

Reviews

[Graceann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I always looked at Joseph Cotten as an interesting, humorous man who would have been a delightful companion. Vanity Will Get You Somewhere does nothing to dispel my admiration, not just for the actor, but the human being.

As autobiographies go, this is a bit spotty. It is linear in most respects, but some things are left out. Those looking for exhaustive, film-by-film analysis will be disappointed. Cotten is more keen to provide an overview of his life and relationships, with emphasis on anecdotes regarding Hedda Hopper, Marilyn Monroe, David O. Selznick and Jennifer Jones and, of course, Orson Welles. Cotten admits to being an imperfect husband the first time around, and it's clear he did much better on his second attempt. His adoration for Patricia Medina flows through all pages where she is present, and it's clear that her sense of humor complements his beautifully. He describes their travels and gatherings in such a way that I am sad to have been born too late to take part.

To have made your film debut in a major role in Citizen Kane is no small thing. To originate the role of C.K. Dexter Haven in the stage version of Philadelphia Story is splendid. To write about all of it without making yourself sound like an egocentric jerk? That's what Joseph Cotten does here. Brilliant, gentlemanly and funny - highly recommended.

[Elaine · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you are interested in the lives of actors in the studio era, and how they got there and how they feel about their bosses and co-actors, you will like this. If you're wondering who Joseph Cotten is, he starred in Citizen Kane, and Shadow of a Doubt (a super Hitchcock film, too often overlooked), among other good to excellent movies.

[Miranda · Rating 4 out of 5]

~ 4.25 ~
Utterly delightful. Will have to revisit at some point later in life.

[Hannah Joy Batayula · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could never love anyone better than I love Joseph Cotten. He is the whole world to me. Words would never be enough to tell him how grateful I am to him for writing this awesome book.

[Hannah Hormell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I suppose being an actor gives you a natural gift for storytelling in all forms. When I was reading this book, it felt like Jo Cotten was standing right in front of me telling his stories. You can feel his comedic timing, his passion, his sadness, all through words on a page. On top of all of that, I was moved by the compliments he bestowed upon his costars, because while very elegant, the sincerity was behind them one hundred percent of the time. I think this book will go very high up on my list of favorite autobiographies, I didn't want it to end.

[Rene · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imagine Citizen Kane being your first movie. A career built on accomplishments on both stage and screen. Traveling the world--literally--in pursuit of your craft. Such was the life of Joseph Cotten, native of Petersburg, VA---an understated, tremendously gifted actor with a distinctive, honeyed voice that graced many of my favorite black-and-white movies. I have never seen his final movie (Heaven's Gate), but much enjoyed his small bit in 1973s Soylent Green. An aged man by then, but he still managed to dominate the screen in his minor role with a presence few actors possess.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really well written and fantastic anecdotes about many of my favorite movies.

[Jamie Manley · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite book of the year so far!

[M.R. Dowsing · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fairly well-written, often humorous and mostly entertaining autobiography with interesting anecdotes about working with Orson Welles, Alfred Hitchcock, etc, although it seldom goes deep and Cotten rarely says anything very negative about anybody. The exception is Rene Cardona Jr, director of 'Guyana: Crime of the Century' (1979), whom he absolutely despised - that guy must really have been a colossal arse for a gent like Cotten to slag him off in print!

Highlights include his nightmarish first day on the set of 'Citizen Kane', his misadventures making 'Latitude Zero' in Japan, and his slightly surreal experience of going to Russia to make a documentary. The most boring part was probably chapter 11, which he largely spends singing the praises of his perfect wife and blithely describing his privileged life of luxury.

At one point, he talks about making a film called 'The Perfect Crime' in Italy and states that it was never finished as the money ran out. Clearly, he was unaware that the film was finished a couple of years later and released in 1978 (with Cotten dubbed by somebody else).

[John Kennedy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Cotten wrote the conversational, quick-read, uneven book as an octogenarian. There are some whimsically written anecdotes about Welles, Hitchcock, and Selznick, but there should have been more. He omitted much of his life's story, and spent too much time detailing his parts in minor movies of his later years when he should have discussed his starring roles in the classic era. It should have contained fewer incidents of name dropping and less about his love life.

[James Brotheridge]

If you listen to Joseph Cotten, the story of the making of Citizen Kane is in large the long morning he spent putting on old-age makeup. That’s the appeal of this memoir and the promise of the title — Cotten isn’t pretending or stretching for insight or form he doesn’t already have in front of him. He’s content to record his preferred anecdotes and bon mots.

[Stephanie Lutman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. It was a very easy read and very informative of his life. Not a tawdry tacky tell all. It gives you a very clear picture of how things were when he started and in the hey day of old Hollywood. I would recommend this book whole heartedly.

[Anne Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 rounded up to 4

Joseph Cotten was an excellent actor, and this memoir is really well done. Having been written in the 1970’s and 80’s, it’s a bit dated, but still enjoyable. I’m always here for stories about life in the golden age of Hollywood.

[Patrick Sullivan · Rating 2 out of 5]

There was no scandal in Joseph Cotten's life. What's more, he was a very nice man, respected by all who knew him. Thus, his story is not all that interesting!

[Evan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This wasn't exactly most scintillating star bio; Cotten the Virginia gentleman downplays the dalliances that become readily available to one such as himself, a handsome star, and hints at many, but only alludes to one in any depth since it's one that can't be avoided: it caused his first wife to attempt suicide.
But it shocks him into fidelity, and barring another biographer to prove otherwise, I believe him. The second half of the book covers his second marriage to lovely Patricia Medina and his latter career, marked by theater and increasingly lower-grade films and TV, including that purgatory for every has-been, "The Love Boat." Let's face it, reading about a perfect marriage to the trophy wife is always boring.
It's easy to see how Cotten's low-key confident manner and intelligent wit so disarmed those in the circles he traveled; that manner comes through well enough in this on-the-whole skillfully written and humorous bio. I did think there were passages in this that were muddled or simply tedious. Some of Cotten's anecdotes are of the "you had to be there" variety; at least in that the very mild laugh payoff doesn't always justify their mention.
Unlike many bios, one never gets a sense of real struggle in Cotten's life and career: He was brought up in a well-off Southern family, and even though he went through the noble motions of hard work and paying off obligations, he always had something to fall back on. In his rise to stardom, one gets the same sense of his luckily drifting into the right circles at the right time; charming the ladies and disarming the men with his non-threatening lack of dynamism. Early on in meeting Orson Welles--a man not known generally for engaging the untalented--even the Boy Genius himself found himself enamored of Cotten (partly due to mutual social class identification no doubt); in effect telling the genteel youngster that he's no actor but has the potential to be a star. There is no place for a Joseph Cotten in the films of today, a genteel low-voltage leading man with an Old World demeanor and stalwart burliness, just as often cast as the also-ran love interest to bigger leading men. Though starring in many major classics, Cotten seems to be little known among young film buffs. He doesn't ignite the mystery and edgy and suave sexuality of vintage favorites like Cary Grant or Humphrey Bogart.
So, all that said, this was (at least in the first half) an interesting and informative memoir for anyone interested in how the studios operated in the Golden Age of Hollywood. Names are dropped aplenty: we get choice encounters with Welles, Daryl Zanuck, Jennifer Jones, Alfred Hitchcock, David Selznick, Katherine Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Bette Davis, Robert Aldrich, Hedda Hopper and even Winston Churchill, among many more. Cotten's take on Selznick is interesting; whereas many books emphasize the larger-than-life characteristics of the maverick producer who gave us the screen version of "Gone with the Wind," Cotten paints him as a sympathetic, sincere and wise father figure. One gets a sense of the film community as it used to be. And it seemed to be a fairly tight-knit place. Cotten is definitely a "glass half full guy;" he's not interested in providing us any insight into the more cutthroat aspects of the business; perhaps he never really bothered to look for or think about them. It just wasn't in his nature. However, the all of the anecdotes and insights into the making of classic films are inherently interesting to me; and so I can't ignore the many choice nuggets provided by an insider with Cotten's filmographic track record, chock full of Oscar-winning movies, to wit:
*Citizen Kane
*The Magnificent Ambersons
*Journey Into Fear
*Shadow of a Doubt
*Gaslight
*Since You Went Away
*Duel in the Sun
*The Farmer's Daughter
*Portrait of Jennie
*The Third Man
*Niagara
*Touch of Evil
(etc, etc)

FINAL UPDATE: OK, well, hmm. I found the anecdotes in the latter part of the book exceedingly dull, including Cotten's extended stay in Japan working on an ill-fated film; his participation in a Russian tour; and various anecdotes about gardening and similar domestic concerns. Once he leaves the classic studio era the book was nonessential I thought. I'd give this 2.5 stars--if there was such an option. Maybe you can skip the last half of the book.

[Diana]

pretty compelling stuff. cotten brought an effortless, understated elegance to his film roles and it's present in this autobiography as well. he's got a cheeky, boyish sense of humour that i found very appealing and is charmingly candid (but never, ever, sensationalistic) about himself and his friends and colleagues in hollywood.

[Sagar Jethani · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice little tour of the Golden Age of Hollywood through the eyes of one of its leading figures. Not particularly insightful, but a fun read nonetheless.