Screw Cancer: Becoming Whole

by Molly Kochan, Nikki Boyer (Foreword)

★★★★★ Imagine you just found out you only had a few years to live—what would you do?From Molly Kochan, the subject of the popular acclaimed podcast Dying for Sex comes her honest, raw, and insightful memoir about love and loss, and what it looks like to take a swan dive straight into the deep end of darkness, searching for the light on the other side.

When Molly is diagnosed as terminal with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer at age 42, she realizes for the first time that "life is short" is more than some stupid cliché. With this new ticking-clock hanging over her head Molly make a decision . . . to start living HER LIFE. She leaves her husband and goes on a quest, searching for life's answers via a sexual journey of exploration. She juggles dozens of online suitors and brings kinks and fetishes into the real world, all while dealing with the ups and downs of her cancer treatment.  

But then something happens.  As Molly lays in her hospital bed fighting through the last months of her existence, she decides she isn't finished yet.  She still has things to say.  Molly digs deep wanting answers to her lifelong questions. She pulls out her laptop and finishes the story she’d been waiting her whole life to write.

With a sense of dark humor, and a bright spirit that will leave you breathless, Molly leaves no stone unturned. From her days of enduring childhood trauma to navigating her relationships, through the lens of never feeling good enough to her final days of forgiveness where she finds enlightenment and the answer she had been looking for all along.

In Screw Cancer Becoming Whole, Molly Kochan takes us on a profound journey into the life of a truly amazing woman who left us all too soon. It's a deeper dive and a perfect companion to the Dying for Sex podcast. Her courageous memoir is a must-read testament for anyone who has ever felt life should be something more, something special, something alive. This is Molly's love letter to life. ♥♥♥♥♥

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Death

142 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 13, 2020

Reviews

[Todd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though Provoking and Moving

Having just finished this memoir, I am frantically trying to gather my thoughts and emotions. I feel that I must re-read in order to delve deeper into Molly's thoughts and innerbeing. There is much more to be learned from her words then I received on the first reading.

This is a deeply personal, and often dark, memoir which made me reflect on my own life experiences and how they have shaped me as a person. Highly recommended.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the podcast “dying for sex” and was enthralled with Molly’s story. Her book gives a different perspective on her life from what you hear about in the podcast, and gives her a voice we didn’t get to hear before. A great, quick read.

[Sanne Meijer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the “Dying for Sex” podcast, my favorite podcast in 2020. This was such a great read and addition to this whole experience.

There’s so much wisdom in this book, even though it’s a short read. So definitely a book to read more often.

[Kayla Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book after listening to their podcast (WHICH I LOVED and highly recommend everyone to listens to - called dying for sex). Her story is so heartbreaking and beautiful and one I will never forget.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

I watched the show on hulu first but this book dove into more serious subjects rather than the upbeat funny sex stuff. I think reading this before watching the show can heavily influence and help to easily understand what’s going on in mollys life.

[Jenny Kaye · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lovely and Beautifully Heartbreaking at the same time.

I loved this book. Hearing Molly’s voice come to life telling her story, you really do get to know her on a very intimate and personal way. I would definitely recommend this book to everyone.

[Kim Weicht · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing, raw and real! A quick read for sure, but very powerful! I can't imagine the hole her family and friends have with her absence. Thank you for sharing your story, Molly! RIH

[Janette Hatchard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Completely honestly written book with abuse and cancer on full and heartbreaking display.

[RAVEN · Rating 5 out of 5]

💗 you Molly thank you 😭

I landed here cause it the podcast dying for sex. I laughed and cried and knew I would read Molly's book. Which I am crying now. It's all I can say 💗

[joanne buscemi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Profoundly different and appreciated

She touches the areas of cancer that even living it we try to avoid . She knows her strengths and weaknesses and doesn't waste her energy on those that don't matter. She took the wheel and set her course on unknown time or destination.

[Helen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love love loved the Dying for Sex podcast and was really looking forward to Molly’s words. It’s an impressive feat, given it was written mostly from a hospice, but it doesn’t quite have the resonance of hearing Molly’s laugh and banter with her best friend.

[Sharon Larson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect read after the Dying for Sex podcast

Molly, you passed with so much grace and surrender. Thank you for being the third person who has helped me understand that death isn’t scary nor is it the end.

[Paul LaGreca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Molly Kochan's short and easy-to-read story, prefaced by her friend Nikki Boyer, is heartbreaking, and honestly poses hidden questions through simplistic prose. This is not merely the story of someone dying of cancer whose dream it was to publish a book, but an exposee into the reality of what many feel, but are too shielded to admit it.

Molly candidly states (and I paraphrase) that when she connects with another sexually, she feels more alive and connected to the world (though not so much at the end). A large piece of her "aliveness" comes through sex, so even after her cancer returns, she gets a bit wild and even starts a podcast, "Dying for Sex," that refers to some of her escapades.

I used to live in LA, and Molly could have been any one of my friends. I was curious to hear her voice so I listened to episode one. She sounded like a sweetheart and the words of her story became even sweeter.

I loved her courageous, bold, and positive approach to life - that while to some it may have appeared self-destructive - she did what she needed to do to stay on the earth and feel alive for as long as she could. She also knew deep down that she was going to a "better place" and was excited for the light to come and claim her - a revelation of a deep spirituality that she did not expand on (nor had to, quite frankly). For me personally, it told me everything I needed to know. RIP Molly and thank you for your story!

[Nathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m late to the party.

I only recently finished listening to Dying for Sex (it’s amazing and you should listen to it). I cried my eyes out while listening to the last episode. I wanted to read her memoir, despite a voice saying, “Why would you want to be sad…again!?!”

This book is sad, yes. But like the podcast wasn’t really about sex (it’s about life, love, friendship, and self-discovery), this book isn’t about sadness. It’s being taught through Molly’s experiences and reflection (and humor) that the big secret to life is love. Loving others. Loving yourself.

It feels odd to say this about a stranger, but I mourned Molly’s death when I listened to her final words in her podcast. I wish she were still around so we could hear her stories and her insight on life.

And while I’m crying writing these last few sentences, I feel happy that I got to hear and read Molly’s life. It’s changed me. Really. I feel motivated to embrace the real things, the authentic things in life that truly bring happiness and feeling whole. And not care so much about the superficial things that can get in the way of that.

I want to live how Molly lived.

[Sandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I began listening to Molly and her best friend's podcast "Dying for Sex" which made me laugh until it later made me cry. I became intrigued with Molly and her cancer fight and I knew I had to read this book because she made it her goal to finish it before she died. Her story is tough and sad, but it's what she did with all of that stuff that made her truly one of the most beautiful people I've ever read about. Her short journey on this planet started out with trying to find love and in the end she did - she fell in love with herself and it's what she had been searching for the entire time. Listen to the podcast and then read this book.

[Mary Barrett · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars

A labor of love, self awareness and acceptance of our ultimate journey. This is the best description of this book that I have. After listening to the podcast Dying for sex I then download the book. It is heartbreaking, humorous, and uplifting. Molly faced Cancer and her her remaining years on her terms. The book was cut short as was her life. God be with her grieving loved ones. Nikki, thank you for helping to share your loved one's story. It touched my heart.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came to this book after listening to the podcast after watching the amazing limited series on Hulu. Each are different but beautiful and essential. I’m glad I finished by reading Molly’s clear and plain spoken reflections on her life in her own words. I wish this book and her life had been longer, but I’m guessing that the urgency, wisdom and brevity Molly brought to this plane of existence are what made Molly, and what makes her life, extraordinary.

[Francesca Ryder · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very thought provoking, I enjoyed learning about molly’s upbringing and background, the bits and pieces that made her the person she was, they were sometimes a difficult read and written in a very matter-of-fact way, almost a bit blunt, but I appreciated that she didn’t sugar coat anything, I guess she had no reason to. Although upsetting, I loved reading this and I’ll be listening to her podcast asap fr

[Shannon Wimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank You for sharing the ride in the dinghy

Honest, raw, loving, moving, unforgettable. Molly's journey is not transformative(except when it is) it's not inspirational ( except maybe parts are). What it is is real life all the way to the end. Thank you Molly for writing it and thank you Nikki for making sure we got a chance to read it.

[Mara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having heard the Dying for Sex podcast, it was easy to hear Molly's voice in this memoir. Its brevity and rawness make sense knowing that it was written when her time was short. Open and honest, I appreciated the insights she was able to draw during her illness and the fact that she cared so much about sharing them with a wider audience. Lovely.

[Kallie · Rating 4 out of 5]

if you’ve listened to Dying for Sex, Molly’s memoir is a must read. Heartbreaking and beautiful, there is so much contained in this short amount of pages. If you haven’t listened to the podcast, Molly’s memoir is about so much more than cancer. In truth, I found it to be more focused on abuse than cancer at all. Worth the read.

[Kieu · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the podcast "Dying For Sex" as I laughed and cried throughout the whole series. If you're expecting the same for the book, you will be disappointed. The book sheds a light on the darker sides of her journey. Its raw and its beautiful in its own messy way. Molly is a true warrior and my heart goes out to all her loved ones who lost this amazing soul.

[Alison J. Christopher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing story

I first listened to the podcast Molly mentioned her her book. It was amazing. However Molly's book was more about her true inward feelings as she grew up & dealt with love, hate & as equally tough emotions. How she seemed to have come to peace with it all. She was the type of person I would have been privileged to have known. A must read!

[Cynthia Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

After listening to the Dying for Sex podcast, I wanted to learn more about Molly and her story. It was heartbreaking to read what she endured and inspiring to learn how she moved through it. Thank you to Nikki for telling her story through the podcast and making sure her book was published: You are an incredible friend.

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m not sure how I can be disappointed by a memoir, especially a cancer survivors memoir as I am an oncology nurse turned NP. I watched Dying for Sex though and knowing Nicki played a role when Molly passed before finishing the book, I expected more. I still think she would have been an exceptional woman to have a cup of coffee with.

[Stacey Spengler · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful, necessary read. I listened to Molly’s podcast with Nikki and so grateful for her honesty through her end of life journey. She did “live, live, live” on her own terms and then to share it with so many is a gift. Thank you to all involved for making this dream happen ♥️

[Marangely]

Not the best written book as you can tell it was rushed to be written. But must say really respect her as she put so much of her life out there for people to read. It was a quick read so worth taking a chance at it.
Feels more like a diary than anything else.

[Elektrice · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the podcast when it came out 4 years ago. I read Molly's blog and I thank her for her story. I think the book and the podcast really complete each other. Thank you Molly for sharing your story. You made me think of life in a way I never did before.

[Karen Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow

So sad but inspiring. A true friendship until the end. How to face abuse and life head on. Always positive.

[Casey Beca · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing book

This short little book packed in a million feels for me. I just want to hug the author and read this book again with more tissues because I can’t.