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The 2000s Made Me Gay: Essays on Pop Culture
From The Onion and Reductress contributor, this collection of essays is a hilarious nostalgic trip through beloved 2000s media, interweaving cultural criticism and personal narrative to examine how a very straight decade forged a very queer woman
"If you came of age at the intersection of Mean Girls and The L Word: Read this book.” —Sarah Pappalardo, editor in chief and co-founder of Reductress
Today’s gay youth have dozens of queer peer heroes, both fictional and real, but Grace Perry did not have that luxury. Instead, she had to search for queerness in the teen cultural phenomena that the early aughts had to offer: in Lindsay Lohan’s fall from grace, Gossip Girl, Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl,” country-era Taylor Swift, and Seth Cohen jumping on a coffee cart. And, for better or worse, these touch points shaped her identity, and she came out on the other side, as she puts it, gay as hell.
Join Grace on a journey back through the pop culture moments of the early 2000’s, before the cataclysmic shift in LGBTQ representation and acceptance—a time not so long ago, that people seem to forget.
"If you came of age at the intersection of Mean Girls and The L Word: Read this book.” —Sarah Pappalardo, editor in chief and co-founder of Reductress
Today’s gay youth have dozens of queer peer heroes, both fictional and real, but Grace Perry did not have that luxury. Instead, she had to search for queerness in the teen cultural phenomena that the early aughts had to offer: in Lindsay Lohan’s fall from grace, Gossip Girl, Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl,” country-era Taylor Swift, and Seth Cohen jumping on a coffee cart. And, for better or worse, these touch points shaped her identity, and she came out on the other side, as she puts it, gay as hell.
Join Grace on a journey back through the pop culture moments of the early 2000’s, before the cataclysmic shift in LGBTQ representation and acceptance—a time not so long ago, that people seem to forget.
248 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 1, 2021
267 people are currently reading
12288 people want to read
About the author
Grace Perry
27 books32 followersGrace Perry’s work has been published in a variety of outlets, including The New Yorker, New York magazine’s The Cut, BuzzFeed, Outside, and Eater. She is also a longtime, regular contributor to The Onion and the feminist satire site Reductress. Most of her work, comedy and journalism alike, interrogates the intersection of queerness, pop culture and the internet. She lives in LA.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 819 reviews
September 22, 2021
Wow, this validated so many of my baby gay high school experiences and I REALLY enjoyed it. I am also now suddenly desperate to do an OC rewatch lmao
January 13, 2022
I'm an 'old soul' whose cultural upbringing was shaped as much by 1599 as 1999, but I realize frequently that my queer coming-of-age experience was distinctly millennial. Perry's essays on the cultural artifacts of the late 90s and 00s connected with me deeply, even as her examples come from a lesbian perspective. For Perry, the L-Word was a community building, monumental experience, despite all its flaws. For me, it was Brokeback Mountain. We both agree Glee was a big deal, even as neither of us really cared for it.
These essays are much more than a rehash of pop culture, though. It's a trip down memory lane in a self-discovery sense. Queer millennials grew up in a deeply homophobic society led by a Bush philosophy of "conversion therapy" and picketing Bible thumpers with the singular message that God hates us.
I remember my mother warning me against voting for Obama because he only cared about Hope for "gay sickos." If that were true, he would have advocated for gay marriage much sooner. We might fault his slowness, but also remember that California, the most liberal state in the union, voted to reverse gay marriage the same year he was elected.
Perry's reflections are rarely about politics though. There's a whole chapter on The Real World, "I Kissed a Girl" and Taylor Swift, plus musings over J.K. Rowling’s tweets. Also, should erotic Harry Potter fan fiction be considered canon? You know, all the important things that us 1989 babies talk about on a regular basis.
Queer millennials have a unique perspective, having seen some of the best and worst of times. We're generally on board with "woke" viewpoints, but also remember a time when it was "revolutionary" simply for a gay character to appear on film. Even if that gay was reduced to comedy relief and ridiculed by the hetero stars, at least they existed!
Back in 2010, I made a spreadsheet with every mainstream movie that featured a gay storyline or minor gay character, from talkies to present. Because that list was so short, I expanded to movies with a "gay theme" which might address gay issues without being overtly gay. For example, Happy Feet (2006). I haven't revisited this project because now, of course, the list would be far too long and require constant updates.
I love that Perry examines how expectations for queer/minority characters are much higher now, with some forgiveness. For a millennial, it's possible to recognize that "I Kissed a Girl" is kinda anti-gay by today's standards, while at the same time understand that this silly song was a "big deal" for gay representation in 2008. Brokeback Mountain was a world-changing gay event in 2005, but I imagine most Gen Zers simply find it depressing.
I suppose every generation feels like it is “transitioning” between the old and the new. These essays really showcase how popular art reflected and shaped our views, while paving the way for even more enlightened thoughts about representation. It’s great to read such thoughtful essays on such an understudied topic. Not essential reading for everyone, but if you’re a gay millennial—or want to understand a gay millennial—it doesn’t get much better than this!
These essays are much more than a rehash of pop culture, though. It's a trip down memory lane in a self-discovery sense. Queer millennials grew up in a deeply homophobic society led by a Bush philosophy of "conversion therapy" and picketing Bible thumpers with the singular message that God hates us.
I remember my mother warning me against voting for Obama because he only cared about Hope for "gay sickos." If that were true, he would have advocated for gay marriage much sooner. We might fault his slowness, but also remember that California, the most liberal state in the union, voted to reverse gay marriage the same year he was elected.
Perry's reflections are rarely about politics though. There's a whole chapter on The Real World, "I Kissed a Girl" and Taylor Swift, plus musings over J.K. Rowling’s tweets. Also, should erotic Harry Potter fan fiction be considered canon? You know, all the important things that us 1989 babies talk about on a regular basis.
Queer millennials have a unique perspective, having seen some of the best and worst of times. We're generally on board with "woke" viewpoints, but also remember a time when it was "revolutionary" simply for a gay character to appear on film. Even if that gay was reduced to comedy relief and ridiculed by the hetero stars, at least they existed!
Back in 2010, I made a spreadsheet with every mainstream movie that featured a gay storyline or minor gay character, from talkies to present. Because that list was so short, I expanded to movies with a "gay theme" which might address gay issues without being overtly gay. For example, Happy Feet (2006). I haven't revisited this project because now, of course, the list would be far too long and require constant updates.
I love that Perry examines how expectations for queer/minority characters are much higher now, with some forgiveness. For a millennial, it's possible to recognize that "I Kissed a Girl" is kinda anti-gay by today's standards, while at the same time understand that this silly song was a "big deal" for gay representation in 2008. Brokeback Mountain was a world-changing gay event in 2005, but I imagine most Gen Zers simply find it depressing.
I suppose every generation feels like it is “transitioning” between the old and the new. These essays really showcase how popular art reflected and shaped our views, while paving the way for even more enlightened thoughts about representation. It’s great to read such thoughtful essays on such an understudied topic. Not essential reading for everyone, but if you’re a gay millennial—or want to understand a gay millennial—it doesn’t get much better than this!
September 23, 2021
simply baffled by how you write this book without a bend it like beckham essay!
July 17, 2021
I was excited for this book, but found it lackluster and confused as to who its audience was. If I were to answer instinctively, I would say that this is a good baby-gay book, with its narrative about Perry's queer adolescence/coming out and introductions to LGBT media/cultural touchstones/terms. However, it feels to me that for the majority of the time, she is writing to (likely already out) LGBT millennials, who, she should know, already understand these basics and are looking for new or interesting insights.
The pieces of pop culture that each essay is based around act more as background noise and a framing device than I expected and would have liked. Balance between memoir and pop-culture-post-mortem was missing. The most moving chapter was "Banter Boys", where the central pop culture reference was broader and Perry was able to dive deeper into how the archetype influenced and acted as a frame of reference with her experience as a queer woman. It was the first chapter I had read where the essay felt complete and that memoir and pop culture take were balanced and complimentary.
In general, it felt like speed reading someone's Medium project and I'm a bit annoyed I spent so much money on it, but at least my money went towards a fellow queer woman ig.
The pieces of pop culture that each essay is based around act more as background noise and a framing device than I expected and would have liked. Balance between memoir and pop-culture-post-mortem was missing. The most moving chapter was "Banter Boys", where the central pop culture reference was broader and Perry was able to dive deeper into how the archetype influenced and acted as a frame of reference with her experience as a queer woman. It was the first chapter I had read where the essay felt complete and that memoir and pop culture take were balanced and complimentary.
In general, it felt like speed reading someone's Medium project and I'm a bit annoyed I spent so much money on it, but at least my money went towards a fellow queer woman ig.
March 24, 2022
why do these queer pop culture related essay collections keep disappointing me????
content/trigger warnings; ableism, hospital, cancer, death of brother, misogyny, lesbophobia, homophobia, mspecphobia, discussion of harry potter/jk rowling, transphobia, d slur, f slur, sex,
this claims to be a collection of essays on pop culture, but it’s more memoir than a conversation or analysis on pop culture through a queer lens. honestly, “the 2000s made me internalize homophobia” might’ve been a more accurate title. everything she discussed was either an in-hindsight queer interpretation of media, a callout of the queerphobia she internalized from the media she/others loved growing up, or the paradox of wishing she had queer media growing up but knowing she would’ve avoided it out of fear of being gay. it got a bit repetitive and left me wanting.
now onto the more specific issues i want to address.
the author takes it upon herself to decide other people’s rep is bad or performative. she says max from happy endings is bad rep because he existed to say “straight people and gay people are the same” and they “failed to give him any real, lived in gay identity”, despite many gay folks expressing the opposite. she criticizes faking it for having amy, “a lesbian, sleep with a cisgender straight guy” which didn’t “honor queer women’s experiences”, even though amy is not a lesbian, and mspec women being with men is a reality. she slams a character zoë kravitz played as not being “meaningfully queer” because she “approaches relationships with men and women identically” which “felt like a straight person’s lacking nuance understanding of bisexuality”, when there are many ways to be bisexual, and “not seeing a difference between” genders, or in the way you approach dating with folks of different genders, is one of them. when she discusses glee, she states the show is performative because the main cast is a (somewhat) diverse group, yet she praises a show that is pretty much all cis white lesbians. this, coupled with the fact that the author doesn’t really give the same positive energy to other queer rep as she does lesbian rep, leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
the author accuses lindsay lohan of being ashamed of her queerness, having internalized homophobia, and backtracking on her gayness. and i’m sorry but step the fuck back. everyone is different. just because you wanted lindsay lohan to be your mainstream bisexual icon, doesn’t mean she was. she avoided labeling herself while dating a woman, then said she was straight after the relationship ended. who cares? she is not and never claimed to be a spokesperson for queerness or bisexuality. a woman can actually hook up with or date women and come to the realization that she is not queer. i don’t know what lindsay’s situation was or is, but people need to stop prioritizing their desire for some amazing celebrity poster child for queerness over the very many varied experiences of queerness, which 10000% includes experimentation and realizing you aren’t queer after all. stop claiming a celebrity is doing damage to the queer community because they’re simply living and sharing their truth.
y’all didn’t think we weren’t going to talk about “i kissed a girl”, did ya? there are very few people who talk about songs/media like this one in a way that doesn’t boil my blood. this author is not one of those people. since i’m not playing around, here are some facts regarding katy perry and “i kissed a girl”:
in 2008, katy said the song was about her curiosity, fantasy, and willingness to kiss a girl, and she clarified the song is not about girls kissing to get boys’ attention. she’s spoken about how there were girls in her life she later realized she had crushes on, and how she had kissed girls before. in 2010, she admitted to lying to about not having kissed a girl when asked in response to the song, because the male journalists who asked made her uncomfortable. in 2017, she spoke about not being straight and how hard it was for her to come to terms with it. in 2021, she said the song was her own experience. she has also said if she were write the song today, she’d make some edits to it because of how much we’ve grown conversationally about queerness.
that said, none of that needs to be stated in order for her to have been justified in writing and releasing that song. experimentation and curiosity are valid experiences that people are allowed to write about; queer or not, out or not. the author says experimenting and being curious are valid and good and healthy (and even acknowledges that sometimes, the girls who “kiss for boys’ attention” end up realizing they’re queer or use that as a way to engage with their queerness before they’re ready to come out) but that the song portrays “experimentation for the sole purpose of satisfying the porn-driven fantasies of straight men”. making such a claim is not a worry for queer representation, it’s a flat out lie, judgement, and policing of queer art and expression.
rita ora’s song “girls” is slammed. (surprised demi lovato’s “cool for the summer” wasn’t tossed in, just to really drive home the invalidation and policing of how queer artists express themselves.) the author says rita came out after that song (but doesn’t mention that she said the song is an honest and accurate expression of her experiences) and disgustingly questions the legitimacy and intention of it (for “cred” or to “recenter the song as a coming out anthem”). she never once acknowledges that the criticism of “straight women profiting off the sexualization of queer women” forced rita to come out. which other women on the song have spoken about (who, with the exception of charli xcx, have also publicly discussed being queer or having been with women).
you don’t have to like or relate to how they expressed their experience, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad or harmful. how are you gonna tell queer women their experience is so damaging that they can’t express it publicly? the author ends the chapter by listing some out queer artists who “sing about queerness not to exploit the LGBTQ+ community but to explore their actual lived experiences” which is falsely implying that katy and rita were exploiting a community they aren’t a part of, rather than exploring their actual lived experiences. i guess queer artists writing about their queerness and experiences only matter when those artists are already explicitly out and write in explicitly “out and proud” ways.
(it’s funny that halyey kiyoko is one of the artists the author applauds, because she has not only been rightfully criticized in how she continuously depicts queer women who are attracted to multiple genders as fickle, manipulative cheaters who will leave lesbians for men in her songs, she was also the person who sparked the criticism of “girls” that forced rita to come out.)
other notes: the author kind of gives off the vibe that she thinks coming out isn’t really a (hard) thing for young folks today, and that they don’t know what it’s like to not see themselves in media. both of which are not true. coming out is still a hard, dangerous thing and queer rep might be better than it was, but that doesn’t mean every queer kid has someone like them readily available in media. queer people of color and disabled queer people don’t have the privilege of being able to see their entire selves in basically any character, even if the queerness isn’t canon. so not only is she downplaying/erasing the still existing struggle of coming out and lack of representation, but she’s also ignoring her privilege.
she changes between using queer and lesbian without changing the group she’s referring to, despite lesbian not being general term for all queer women. she seems to think word of god rep or out of text confirmation is bad or doesn’t count and compares it to fanfic. she blames “poorly constructed” rep on people who push for diversity instead of the people creating the rep not including the people they’re representing in the creation of the representation. waxing poetic about mean girls and the l word is...a choice. i wish she had mentioned that celebrities like neil patrick harris and lance bass were outed by perez hilton when discussing their coming outs.
she used “incest” to describe a group of non-related people who seemingly only date within their group, which aggravates me. i hate when queer people call other queer people “baby gays” or any variation of it. adrienne rich is referred to as an “influential lesbian theorist” with no mention of her being a whole terf. some celebrities are mislabeled, or uses multiples labels and only one was mentioned. it doesn’t sit right with me that the author used the term “woke” in a derisive manner. and same as the other pop culture related essay collection, i don’t relate to the “they said x is bad in a movie so i believed to the deepest of my core that x is bad” experience.
i cringed so fucking hard when she said she felt “let down and used” when taylor swift affirmed her status as an ally, because she had bought into all the “gaylor�� theories and convinced herself that taylor was queer and planning some big coming out...like, you were not used, she did not trick you...you played yourself, and that’s what happens when you treat a real person’s sexuality as something you get to headcanon and speculate about.
content/trigger warnings; ableism, hospital, cancer, death of brother, misogyny, lesbophobia, homophobia, mspecphobia, discussion of harry potter/jk rowling, transphobia, d slur, f slur, sex,
this claims to be a collection of essays on pop culture, but it’s more memoir than a conversation or analysis on pop culture through a queer lens. honestly, “the 2000s made me internalize homophobia” might’ve been a more accurate title. everything she discussed was either an in-hindsight queer interpretation of media, a callout of the queerphobia she internalized from the media she/others loved growing up, or the paradox of wishing she had queer media growing up but knowing she would’ve avoided it out of fear of being gay. it got a bit repetitive and left me wanting.
now onto the more specific issues i want to address.
the author takes it upon herself to decide other people’s rep is bad or performative. she says max from happy endings is bad rep because he existed to say “straight people and gay people are the same” and they “failed to give him any real, lived in gay identity”, despite many gay folks expressing the opposite. she criticizes faking it for having amy, “a lesbian, sleep with a cisgender straight guy” which didn’t “honor queer women’s experiences”, even though amy is not a lesbian, and mspec women being with men is a reality. she slams a character zoë kravitz played as not being “meaningfully queer” because she “approaches relationships with men and women identically” which “felt like a straight person’s lacking nuance understanding of bisexuality”, when there are many ways to be bisexual, and “not seeing a difference between” genders, or in the way you approach dating with folks of different genders, is one of them. when she discusses glee, she states the show is performative because the main cast is a (somewhat) diverse group, yet she praises a show that is pretty much all cis white lesbians. this, coupled with the fact that the author doesn’t really give the same positive energy to other queer rep as she does lesbian rep, leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
the author accuses lindsay lohan of being ashamed of her queerness, having internalized homophobia, and backtracking on her gayness. and i’m sorry but step the fuck back. everyone is different. just because you wanted lindsay lohan to be your mainstream bisexual icon, doesn’t mean she was. she avoided labeling herself while dating a woman, then said she was straight after the relationship ended. who cares? she is not and never claimed to be a spokesperson for queerness or bisexuality. a woman can actually hook up with or date women and come to the realization that she is not queer. i don’t know what lindsay’s situation was or is, but people need to stop prioritizing their desire for some amazing celebrity poster child for queerness over the very many varied experiences of queerness, which 10000% includes experimentation and realizing you aren’t queer after all. stop claiming a celebrity is doing damage to the queer community because they’re simply living and sharing their truth.
y’all didn’t think we weren’t going to talk about “i kissed a girl”, did ya? there are very few people who talk about songs/media like this one in a way that doesn’t boil my blood. this author is not one of those people. since i’m not playing around, here are some facts regarding katy perry and “i kissed a girl”:
in 2008, katy said the song was about her curiosity, fantasy, and willingness to kiss a girl, and she clarified the song is not about girls kissing to get boys’ attention. she’s spoken about how there were girls in her life she later realized she had crushes on, and how she had kissed girls before. in 2010, she admitted to lying to about not having kissed a girl when asked in response to the song, because the male journalists who asked made her uncomfortable. in 2017, she spoke about not being straight and how hard it was for her to come to terms with it. in 2021, she said the song was her own experience. she has also said if she were write the song today, she’d make some edits to it because of how much we’ve grown conversationally about queerness.
that said, none of that needs to be stated in order for her to have been justified in writing and releasing that song. experimentation and curiosity are valid experiences that people are allowed to write about; queer or not, out or not. the author says experimenting and being curious are valid and good and healthy (and even acknowledges that sometimes, the girls who “kiss for boys’ attention” end up realizing they’re queer or use that as a way to engage with their queerness before they’re ready to come out) but that the song portrays “experimentation for the sole purpose of satisfying the porn-driven fantasies of straight men”. making such a claim is not a worry for queer representation, it’s a flat out lie, judgement, and policing of queer art and expression.
rita ora’s song “girls” is slammed. (surprised demi lovato’s “cool for the summer” wasn’t tossed in, just to really drive home the invalidation and policing of how queer artists express themselves.) the author says rita came out after that song (but doesn’t mention that she said the song is an honest and accurate expression of her experiences) and disgustingly questions the legitimacy and intention of it (for “cred” or to “recenter the song as a coming out anthem”). she never once acknowledges that the criticism of “straight women profiting off the sexualization of queer women” forced rita to come out. which other women on the song have spoken about (who, with the exception of charli xcx, have also publicly discussed being queer or having been with women).
you don’t have to like or relate to how they expressed their experience, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad or harmful. how are you gonna tell queer women their experience is so damaging that they can’t express it publicly? the author ends the chapter by listing some out queer artists who “sing about queerness not to exploit the LGBTQ+ community but to explore their actual lived experiences” which is falsely implying that katy and rita were exploiting a community they aren’t a part of, rather than exploring their actual lived experiences. i guess queer artists writing about their queerness and experiences only matter when those artists are already explicitly out and write in explicitly “out and proud” ways.
(it’s funny that halyey kiyoko is one of the artists the author applauds, because she has not only been rightfully criticized in how she continuously depicts queer women who are attracted to multiple genders as fickle, manipulative cheaters who will leave lesbians for men in her songs, she was also the person who sparked the criticism of “girls” that forced rita to come out.)
other notes: the author kind of gives off the vibe that she thinks coming out isn’t really a (hard) thing for young folks today, and that they don’t know what it’s like to not see themselves in media. both of which are not true. coming out is still a hard, dangerous thing and queer rep might be better than it was, but that doesn’t mean every queer kid has someone like them readily available in media. queer people of color and disabled queer people don’t have the privilege of being able to see their entire selves in basically any character, even if the queerness isn’t canon. so not only is she downplaying/erasing the still existing struggle of coming out and lack of representation, but she’s also ignoring her privilege.
she changes between using queer and lesbian without changing the group she’s referring to, despite lesbian not being general term for all queer women. she seems to think word of god rep or out of text confirmation is bad or doesn’t count and compares it to fanfic. she blames “poorly constructed” rep on people who push for diversity instead of the people creating the rep not including the people they’re representing in the creation of the representation. waxing poetic about mean girls and the l word is...a choice. i wish she had mentioned that celebrities like neil patrick harris and lance bass were outed by perez hilton when discussing their coming outs.
she used “incest” to describe a group of non-related people who seemingly only date within their group, which aggravates me. i hate when queer people call other queer people “baby gays” or any variation of it. adrienne rich is referred to as an “influential lesbian theorist” with no mention of her being a whole terf. some celebrities are mislabeled, or uses multiples labels and only one was mentioned. it doesn’t sit right with me that the author used the term “woke” in a derisive manner. and same as the other pop culture related essay collection, i don’t relate to the “they said x is bad in a movie so i believed to the deepest of my core that x is bad” experience.
i cringed so fucking hard when she said she felt “let down and used” when taylor swift affirmed her status as an ally, because she had bought into all the “gaylor�� theories and convinced herself that taylor was queer and planning some big coming out...like, you were not used, she did not trick you...you played yourself, and that’s what happens when you treat a real person’s sexuality as something you get to headcanon and speculate about.
January 30, 2023
Dude…..LOL
I’ll write a real review on this later after I recover from reading the phrases ‘aughts’ and ‘baby gay’ too many times
ok here's the review and if the author reads this I am very sorry for my opinion but I'm still willing to give your other/future writing a chance :/
I was really excited for this book because I check every box that this book is meant for. Setting a high expectation was my mistake, so that's on me. That being said, how could a book be so fitting, so perfect, but miss the mark and end up being SO exclusionary? It felt like the book was written by the author, FOR the author, which isn’t really a bad thing, but it sucks for me as a reader.
The other thing about this is that it just felt so all over the place; there were bits of memoir sprinkled in where it didn’t really make sense. I would have loved to have learned more about the author that could’ve maybe contextualized her social commentary a little better. It was so out of order that I didn’t feel like I was able to make any sort of connection with the author and that made me lose interest quickly. I also have a bone to pick with how often the word ‘aughts’ and the phrase ‘baby gay’ was thrown around, but I can probably forgive that.
I had a great childhood, but maybe I wasn’t privileged enough to understand this one – I grew up without cable until I was like 8ish, and even when we had it we never had what was considered premium channels like MTV or whatever channel The L Word and Gossip Girl comes on. I never watched Glee or Dawson’s Creek, never cared about Taylor Swift, and I Kissed a Girl never sent me spiraling into a bisexual existential crisis.
The author writes a LOT about all of these, just FYI. At one point she even says, ‘For queer millennial women, The L Word is our Star Wars’...I think tf NOT! I’m aware of how incredibly salty this makes me sound, but I did just fine without those things -- it just seems like unless you check those boxes, you’re not gonna get much out of this book.
Maybe for the above reasons, I never grew up seeking representation in media in the same way the author thirsted for. But also, I’m not white, and my racial identity became obvious to me way sooner than my gender or sexuality identity, so instead of scouring the TV for gay white girls, I just wanted to see a brown girl on the screen for once (I finally got what I wanted when Gotta Kick It Up! debuted on the Disney Channel with America Ferrera when I was 9, lol).
The highlighted essay that I mostly really liked was the American Bitch/American Butch essay, and I liked the Mean Girls and Harry Potter essays to an extent (at some point both essays just turned into rambling) but everything else felt like it was an inside joke I was absolutely not allowed in on. I also felt like the author spent too much time clinging to gay/lesbian stereotypes and it stopped being funny (we don't need to be joked at for the 10th time about how you were obviously gay because you wore turtlenecks and corduroys). And then she spent so much time playing on stereotypes just to denounce the one gay girl stereotype that I actually think is really funny -- the U Haul Lesbian.
Idk. Maybe this will resonate more with you. I think you ‘aught’ to find that out for yourself. Glad this one was a library book because it’s going back ASAP!
I’ll write a real review on this later after I recover from reading the phrases ‘aughts’ and ‘baby gay’ too many times
ok here's the review and if the author reads this I am very sorry for my opinion but I'm still willing to give your other/future writing a chance :/
I was really excited for this book because I check every box that this book is meant for. Setting a high expectation was my mistake, so that's on me. That being said, how could a book be so fitting, so perfect, but miss the mark and end up being SO exclusionary? It felt like the book was written by the author, FOR the author, which isn’t really a bad thing, but it sucks for me as a reader.
The other thing about this is that it just felt so all over the place; there were bits of memoir sprinkled in where it didn’t really make sense. I would have loved to have learned more about the author that could’ve maybe contextualized her social commentary a little better. It was so out of order that I didn’t feel like I was able to make any sort of connection with the author and that made me lose interest quickly. I also have a bone to pick with how often the word ‘aughts’ and the phrase ‘baby gay’ was thrown around, but I can probably forgive that.
I had a great childhood, but maybe I wasn’t privileged enough to understand this one – I grew up without cable until I was like 8ish, and even when we had it we never had what was considered premium channels like MTV or whatever channel The L Word and Gossip Girl comes on. I never watched Glee or Dawson’s Creek, never cared about Taylor Swift, and I Kissed a Girl never sent me spiraling into a bisexual existential crisis.
The author writes a LOT about all of these, just FYI. At one point she even says, ‘For queer millennial women, The L Word is our Star Wars’...I think tf NOT! I’m aware of how incredibly salty this makes me sound, but I did just fine without those things -- it just seems like unless you check those boxes, you’re not gonna get much out of this book.
Maybe for the above reasons, I never grew up seeking representation in media in the same way the author thirsted for. But also, I’m not white, and my racial identity became obvious to me way sooner than my gender or sexuality identity, so instead of scouring the TV for gay white girls, I just wanted to see a brown girl on the screen for once (I finally got what I wanted when Gotta Kick It Up! debuted on the Disney Channel with America Ferrera when I was 9, lol).
The highlighted essay that I mostly really liked was the American Bitch/American Butch essay, and I liked the Mean Girls and Harry Potter essays to an extent (at some point both essays just turned into rambling) but everything else felt like it was an inside joke I was absolutely not allowed in on. I also felt like the author spent too much time clinging to gay/lesbian stereotypes and it stopped being funny (we don't need to be joked at for the 10th time about how you were obviously gay because you wore turtlenecks and corduroys). And then she spent so much time playing on stereotypes just to denounce the one gay girl stereotype that I actually think is really funny -- the U Haul Lesbian.
Idk. Maybe this will resonate more with you. I think you ‘aught’ to find that out for yourself. Glad this one was a library book because it’s going back ASAP!
April 4, 2021
Grace Perry was born the same year as me, 1989, so our pop culture references are the same - and while luckily I didn’t go to catholic school growing up, the internalized homophobia that Perry grew up with was also familiar. This memoir and pop culture essay critique is funny, insightful, and a great time capsule of millennial young adulthood. One of my favorite things about this collection is that while it calls out the problems of our past obsessions, it also recognizes how much they meant to us and were shaped by the specific time (early aughts) that we have so much nostalgia for.
Perry walks us through Mean Girls, Harry Potter (the books, not the movies), Disney Channel Original movies (Cadet Kelly! Motocrossed!), and Glee, among others, while examining the ways in which she explored and repressed her sexuality at different times in her teenage and early 20s life. From deciding whether to dress as a “tomboy” or a “girly girl” to kissing friends that were girls but not ever talking about the feelings under it, to crushing on all the women stars in those romcoms. Perry shows us how kids were creating gay storylines where they didn’t exist or weren’t crafted beyond a performative inclusion (for example, the throwaway comment that Dumbledore was gay) and how it gave kids a way to avoid their identity but failing miserably to create real representation. There was something special about the ways in which we created those stories for ourselves — just take a look at the thousands of fan fiction stories out there! But it also makes me feel lucky that we have been - however slowly- able to move into a space where celebrities can be proudly out, media includes gay storylines, and we can see beyond painful stereotypes.
This book should be picked up by any millennial that wants to walk thru their favorite pop culture mainstays of the early aughts and to reflect back on a time of multiple tanks and bright eyeshadow.
Perry walks us through Mean Girls, Harry Potter (the books, not the movies), Disney Channel Original movies (Cadet Kelly! Motocrossed!), and Glee, among others, while examining the ways in which she explored and repressed her sexuality at different times in her teenage and early 20s life. From deciding whether to dress as a “tomboy” or a “girly girl” to kissing friends that were girls but not ever talking about the feelings under it, to crushing on all the women stars in those romcoms. Perry shows us how kids were creating gay storylines where they didn’t exist or weren’t crafted beyond a performative inclusion (for example, the throwaway comment that Dumbledore was gay) and how it gave kids a way to avoid their identity but failing miserably to create real representation. There was something special about the ways in which we created those stories for ourselves — just take a look at the thousands of fan fiction stories out there! But it also makes me feel lucky that we have been - however slowly- able to move into a space where celebrities can be proudly out, media includes gay storylines, and we can see beyond painful stereotypes.
This book should be picked up by any millennial that wants to walk thru their favorite pop culture mainstays of the early aughts and to reflect back on a time of multiple tanks and bright eyeshadow.
September 16, 2023
A collection of essays referencing - among other things - Mean Girls and Moulin Rouge? Yes please! As a gay 'elder' (born 1986, eep!) millennial I found this very relatable in parts. Concocting relationship scenarios with a guy I've spoken to once? Yes. Covertly watching shows with gay references or shirtless men? Yes. Hoping I was going through a 'phase' I'd grow out of when drawing dresses and putting my stuffed animals into pop groups? Absolutely! Granted Perry didn't do these identically, but similar iterations thereof are present in the book.
Also, I had precisely zero education on LGBTQ+ issues due to Section 28 being in full swing during my adolescence and, like Perry, found my only window to queerness through media - EastEnders' first gay kiss, and buying and devouring box sets of Will & Grace and Queer As Folk as soon as I got to uni. Perry also touches on the joy of Gen Z having access to greater representation, but also on the bitterness it can cause for millennial queers - one reason I've been so steadfast against watching Heartstopper, until very recently. I felt very 'seen' by this book and it made me aware of feelings about my own homosexuality that I'd not really considered or acknowledged previously.
One main thing here is that there's a heavy focus - understandably - on the writer's lived experience. She's a white millennial lesbian from a middle-class-ish (?) background, so that's the angle she's coming from. It's designed to be a fun set of essays on pop culture (heck it's in the title, that's the clue that it's fairly lighthearted!) in the noughties, and should be taken as such.
Also, I had precisely zero education on LGBTQ+ issues due to Section 28 being in full swing during my adolescence and, like Perry, found my only window to queerness through media - EastEnders' first gay kiss, and buying and devouring box sets of Will & Grace and Queer As Folk as soon as I got to uni. Perry also touches on the joy of Gen Z having access to greater representation, but also on the bitterness it can cause for millennial queers - one reason I've been so steadfast against watching Heartstopper, until very recently. I felt very 'seen' by this book and it made me aware of feelings about my own homosexuality that I'd not really considered or acknowledged previously.
One main thing here is that there's a heavy focus - understandably - on the writer's lived experience. She's a white millennial lesbian from a middle-class-ish (?) background, so that's the angle she's coming from. It's designed to be a fun set of essays on pop culture (heck it's in the title, that's the clue that it's fairly lighthearted!) in the noughties, and should be taken as such.
January 21, 2023
I am once again asking white culture writers to acknowledge differences in cultures. I’ve noticed a number of white non-fiction culture writers acknowledging people of color in terms of social oppression and still omitting us from the focus of the piece. It’s very odd to make a blanket statement about the queer millennial experience and culture without doing the barest amount of research into any queer culture that isn’t your own.
August 23, 2021
The 2000s didn’t make me gay. As a GenX gay, it could be argued Madonna, Wham! and ‘My Two Dads’ made me gay. Perhaps I’m just self centered and obsessed but I mostly enjoyed this enlightening discussion of 00s pop culture and it’s impact on Perry’s life because it allowed me time to reflect on the pop culture that shaped my own.
November 11, 2025
genuinely one of the worst things i’ve ever read. this isn’t “essays on pop culture” this is a book that the author wrote in order to tell her woe is me life story of her biggest struggle growing up being… she is a loser? she stands behind the declaration that representation of white cis lesbians in media is the single most important issue, and that a SNL sketch or a Katy Perry song made her life so difficult and depressing growing up. I think every queer story is important and no one’s feelings should be dismissed, but do they need to be told? do readers really need to listen to a millennial woman lecture young queers on how easy their life is and how no one needs to “come out” any more because…. there is cis gay representation on network television shows now? reading this really gives off the idea that she believes she is the most tortured queer to ever live, totally dismissing the abuse and real life problems of those growing up trans, religious, in ethnic households etc etc. seriously, who cares about this story? i’m not saying these are her genuine beliefs, but if you’re going to write a “gay book/memoir” that’s single purpose to get people to feel bad for you you maybe should be aware of the irl queer community and what context they are living in,,, such as maybe not writing an entire harry potter chapter with 2 sentences of disclaimer for the Real Life Consequences the JK is imposing on Trans Women currently, literally while this was being written.
tldr this author is so disconnected from the real world current context of Gays and this book is a humiliation ritual of exposing how big of a loser she is. i mean she seriously wrote an essay about taylor swift in this
tldr this author is so disconnected from the real world current context of Gays and this book is a humiliation ritual of exposing how big of a loser she is. i mean she seriously wrote an essay about taylor swift in this
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September 5, 2023
An often close-hitting collection of essays about being a white gay millennial woman.
Perry and I are a couple years apart, but that distance doesn't matter too much when trying to capture how...odd the earlys 00s were. And again, how weird the late 00s were. It's hard to describe just how vehemently homophobic the early 00s were when looking at its fashion revival *wince* twenty years later.
There are some essays that hit harder than others, mostly resonating through the lens of shared experiences. Some, particularly the ones with Glee (highly watchable, ground-breaking at the time and horrifyingly awful today), Lindsay Lohan, "I Kissed a Girl" and having so deeply internalized homophobia that admitting to myself didn't happen until my late twenties (being in the military at the tail-end of DADT didn't help, I suspect, along with having my mother as a mother), so both Perry and I missed a lot of the queer coming of self/age moments in high school for better and for worse, and deeply yearned for a relationship while also being...well.
Anyhow, it's a fascinating introspection on 2000s pop culture through a gay lens (and yet another book I've read that heavily features Dawson's Creek).
Seeing a version of yourself portrayed in media as normal—not the villain, not reviled, not wrong or bad—is so important for...well, everyone.
If you're looking for a peek into what it was like to come of age as queer, white and female in the early to mid 00s, look no further. Perry explains a lot about what makes queer millennials tick.
Perry and I are a couple years apart, but that distance doesn't matter too much when trying to capture how...odd the earlys 00s were. And again, how weird the late 00s were. It's hard to describe just how vehemently homophobic the early 00s were when looking at its fashion revival *wince* twenty years later.
There are some essays that hit harder than others, mostly resonating through the lens of shared experiences. Some, particularly the ones with Glee (highly watchable, ground-breaking at the time and horrifyingly awful today), Lindsay Lohan, "I Kissed a Girl" and having so deeply internalized homophobia that admitting to myself didn't happen until my late twenties (being in the military at the tail-end of DADT didn't help, I suspect, along with having my mother as a mother), so both Perry and I missed a lot of the queer coming of self/age moments in high school for better and for worse, and deeply yearned for a relationship while also being...well.
Anyhow, it's a fascinating introspection on 2000s pop culture through a gay lens (and yet another book I've read that heavily features Dawson's Creek).
Seeing a version of yourself portrayed in media as normal—not the villain, not reviled, not wrong or bad—is so important for...well, everyone.
If you're looking for a peek into what it was like to come of age as queer, white and female in the early to mid 00s, look no further. Perry explains a lot about what makes queer millennials tick.
March 11, 2022
okay… with my sincere apologies to the author… this was terrible? I know I wasn’t her intended audience because I did not come of age in “the aughts” but I also imagine that unless I’d had her exact experience and up-bringing as a “baby gay” in the “aughts” I would not have found this good. There were a few times where she tried to comment on Gen Z or on pop/internet culture after 2015 that came across as incredibly out of touch (“I have a hard time understanding how Gen Zers would be into the oh-so-aughts show [The L word]”). There’s also a whole chapter on Harry Potter and queerness that just barely mentions JKR being a terf which felt very irresponsible! No one cares that Dumbledore is gay! Also celebrities and people in Gen Z still have to come out! Like she seems to think we exist in a post-closet era which simply is not true, even if it may be easier for some ppl to come out than it was before Ellen. overall was not good!
March 10, 2022
this was a good book. in short, it is a collection of essays that border on memoir-like at times chronicling the experiences of the author, grace perry. she discusses how she struggled with coming to terms with her lgbtq identity while growing up in an era where there was barely any lgbtq representation in media.
i applaud her for the vulnerability she expressed in this book. she touched on some very pivotal moments in her life in a way that was seemed so authentic and relatable. perry had a great sense of humour that shined through, and it was one of the main highlights of the book.
although it had many great moments, this book is not without its flaws. one of the main ones that i noticed was the disjointedness of the writing and flow of the story. at times it felt a bit ramble-y, almost as if i was reading the author’s stream of consciousness rather than a concise narrative.
there were a few points where i was waiting for it to get more interesting, ones where i was a bit bored. this probably had something to do with the fact that i didn’t understand some of her pop culture references, like the ones about the o.c. and grey’s anatomy.
overall, this was a good book. there were many parts that i related to on a personal level, and i felt seen while reading it. it was very nice to read a book that touched on these things, and it was refreshing to read about someone’s journey of being so authentically and unapologetically themselves. i’m glad i read it this.
3/5 stars
i applaud her for the vulnerability she expressed in this book. she touched on some very pivotal moments in her life in a way that was seemed so authentic and relatable. perry had a great sense of humour that shined through, and it was one of the main highlights of the book.
although it had many great moments, this book is not without its flaws. one of the main ones that i noticed was the disjointedness of the writing and flow of the story. at times it felt a bit ramble-y, almost as if i was reading the author’s stream of consciousness rather than a concise narrative.
there were a few points where i was waiting for it to get more interesting, ones where i was a bit bored. this probably had something to do with the fact that i didn’t understand some of her pop culture references, like the ones about the o.c. and grey’s anatomy.
overall, this was a good book. there were many parts that i related to on a personal level, and i felt seen while reading it. it was very nice to read a book that touched on these things, and it was refreshing to read about someone’s journey of being so authentically and unapologetically themselves. i’m glad i read it this.
3/5 stars
April 26, 2023
Yeahh, no. I'm only a year younger than the author but by the 40% mark, nothing had yet "hit" for me. The essays are more memoir than objective analyses of queer or potentially queer parts \ representation in the 00s, dosed liberally with opinions and holding up pop culture moments to the author's specific lens.
The author is a bit presumptuous in speaking for figures like Lindsey Lohan, who never purported to be a queer icon, nor had any say in the homophobic undertones of Mean Girls, for example. There's a Harry Potter chapter that I skipped - in fact I skipped a few, hoping to find either a fandom I liked or some good points; I found neither.
As an ace-aro nonbinary person of the same age, I really expected to connect with this. Alas, if I would have with any later chapters, I didn't stick around to waste time in the hope of finding out. DNF at 40%.
The author is a bit presumptuous in speaking for figures like Lindsey Lohan, who never purported to be a queer icon, nor had any say in the homophobic undertones of Mean Girls, for example. There's a Harry Potter chapter that I skipped - in fact I skipped a few, hoping to find either a fandom I liked or some good points; I found neither.
As an ace-aro nonbinary person of the same age, I really expected to connect with this. Alas, if I would have with any later chapters, I didn't stick around to waste time in the hope of finding out. DNF at 40%.
August 26, 2021
This was a quick and enjoyable audiobook full of aughts pop culture references and a lot of that awkward coming of age gayness felt hard from that era - super relatable - what’s not to love? 🌈
July 20, 2021
As a “geriatric millennial” 🙄 myself, I felt a smidge too old for most of the pop culture phenomena covered here. Maybe it’s just differing tastes. I didn’t watch any of the shows except Dawson’s Creek. Pacey forever! But I digress. Perry’s astute observations relate pop culture to her own self-realization, and the broader societal picture in a thoughtful way.
PS. I really hate the term “aughts” and it’s used a lot here.
PS. I really hate the term “aughts” and it’s used a lot here.
June 11, 2021
Many of these essays make arguments that I have made repeatedly. It felt so close to home and so much like me.
July 15, 2021
Essay collections and memoirs where people discuss the different ways that pop culture impacted them and wider society are my catnip. I’m just one year younger than Grace Perry and so many of the things she wrote about 2000s pop culture hit so close to things that I felt growing up or have thought about in hindsight.
This isn’t an exhaustive collection of all the LGBTQ+ representation that existed during this decade, but rather the pop culture that was important to her life growing up. So there are things covered here that weren’t part of my teenage years, but it was interesting to hear her opinions nonetheless. This also isn’t just strictly media criticism, it’s a lot about Grace’s personal stories of how these pieces of pop culture played into her life and how that impacted her coming out journey and general life as a teen and young adult.
I had such a great time reading this book. From the discussions of sapphic overtones in Disney Channel Original Movies to The L Word to Mean Girls and how teen TV shows influence how young viewers think about virginity. I’d definitely recommend this book to people who were in their teens or 20s during the 2000s. But I also think for others it can do a lot to explain how pop culture impacted some millennials and their coming out and coming of age experiences.
This isn’t an exhaustive collection of all the LGBTQ+ representation that existed during this decade, but rather the pop culture that was important to her life growing up. So there are things covered here that weren’t part of my teenage years, but it was interesting to hear her opinions nonetheless. This also isn’t just strictly media criticism, it’s a lot about Grace’s personal stories of how these pieces of pop culture played into her life and how that impacted her coming out journey and general life as a teen and young adult.
I had such a great time reading this book. From the discussions of sapphic overtones in Disney Channel Original Movies to The L Word to Mean Girls and how teen TV shows influence how young viewers think about virginity. I’d definitely recommend this book to people who were in their teens or 20s during the 2000s. But I also think for others it can do a lot to explain how pop culture impacted some millennials and their coming out and coming of age experiences.
March 25, 2022
i keep getting disappointed by these white queers writing memoirs about queerness!! my second DNF of the year. i tried really hard to get into it but not only did this essay collection feel disjointed and like random anecdotes patched together, i had a hard time connecting the dots of how pop culture and their queer journey. this book also heavily relies on the reader’s knowledge of specific pop culture moments or media, I knew most of them and still found it hard to follow. Cant imagine someone who’s reading with no familiarity at all.
also i skipped to the end to see if it at least ended in a more meaningful way, and the casual shaming and outing of someone that rejected the author in high school is just ??? Hard pass
also i skipped to the end to see if it at least ended in a more meaningful way, and the casual shaming and outing of someone that rejected the author in high school is just ??? Hard pass
April 16, 2022
This book is irrefutable evidence that queers can make anything that’s already good much better, funnier, and gayer. This tour through Perry’s queer coming-of-age made me feel both comforted and seen in a way I was not expecting from an essay book. The 2000s Made Me Gay may not be a 5-star read for everyone, but each essay felt like a little hug written directly for my young gay self. I’m not a queer millennial, but I’m a queer who mirrored the media consumption of my three millennial siblings while growing up. And even though this book isn’t necessarily filled with profound revelations, it’s unapologetic and honest and establishes Seth Cohen as a seminal figure of self-discovery and sexual awakening so fight me!
——————————————————————————
“But the point still stands—ruining what we loved in adolescence is saddening and needlessly judgmental of our younger selves. It’s a futile exercise meant only to flex our contemporary understanding of what’s good and what’s not. But more than that, condemning pop culture we once loved installs an artificial barrier between who we are now and who we once were.”
“That’s the thing about being a queer millennial: it’s not about things getting better in any linear fashion but holding a painful past and an optimistic future together, one in each hand, at the same time.”
——————————————————————————
“But the point still stands—ruining what we loved in adolescence is saddening and needlessly judgmental of our younger selves. It’s a futile exercise meant only to flex our contemporary understanding of what’s good and what’s not. But more than that, condemning pop culture we once loved installs an artificial barrier between who we are now and who we once were.”
“That’s the thing about being a queer millennial: it’s not about things getting better in any linear fashion but holding a painful past and an optimistic future together, one in each hand, at the same time.”
July 14, 2021
I found Perry a likeable essayist, but other than that I didn't really get much out of this collection. I'm about five years younger than the author, so while we have a lot of the same cultural touchstones, her takes mostly feel a little stale to me (why are older millennials so obsessed with Tina Fey?). There are definitely some funny and very relatable moments here--I definitely laughed at her jokes about Lex--but I just don't have a lot in common with an astrology-obsessed thirty-something.
April 9, 2021
I felt equal parts exposed and validated by this book 😂
June 21, 2021
What I wrote on Facebook earlier today:
I’m only about 33% done with The 2000s Made Me Gay by Grace Perry and I’m already certain it’s going to be one of my favorite reads of recent months. Grace and I are the same age, so most of her pop culture references are right up my alley, and although I didn’t grow up Catholic, I also relate strongly to her experiences with internalized homophobia. She does a good job of recognizing the problematic elements inherent in most of the media created in the 2000s, while also treating it with care and acknowledging the significance it had for her at the time she was first exposed to it. For better or worse, we’re all shaped by the things we watch, read, and listen to during our formative years, and this book takes an honest and compassionate look at those things in the context of a closeted gay teenager desperate for a way to make sense of her feelings and behaviors.
Reading this book is also making me reflect fondly on my own teenage years and the relationships I had with my girl friends. It genuinely never occurred to me at the time to think of them as anything other than friendships, but while it’s true that many, if not most, teenage female friendships are a little codependent and closer than might be socially acceptable at other times, I do think there were some crushes sprinkled in there. I just didn’t have the language or the experience to name them, and acting on them was entirely unimaginable. Not only because I literally couldn’t imagine it for myself at that time, but also because I have no idea whether or not my feelings were ever reciprocated. I’ve never asked, and we definitely never discussed such things in high school. We just existed in this limbo of hugs and handholding and sleepovers and sharing secrets and loving each other, but, like, not in a gay way.
Anyway, all this to say, The 2000s Made Me Gay is so far a delightful and nostalgic exploration written by a funny and insightful person and if you relate to anything I’ve rambled in this post, particularly if you were coming of age in the early to mid 2000s, you should probably read it.
And a small update after finishing the whole book:
I loved it. I’m sad it’s over, that I no longer get to exist in the world painted by Grace’s words. I would have read twice as many essays written by her. I almost, almost want to watch Glee now.
I’m only about 33% done with The 2000s Made Me Gay by Grace Perry and I’m already certain it’s going to be one of my favorite reads of recent months. Grace and I are the same age, so most of her pop culture references are right up my alley, and although I didn’t grow up Catholic, I also relate strongly to her experiences with internalized homophobia. She does a good job of recognizing the problematic elements inherent in most of the media created in the 2000s, while also treating it with care and acknowledging the significance it had for her at the time she was first exposed to it. For better or worse, we’re all shaped by the things we watch, read, and listen to during our formative years, and this book takes an honest and compassionate look at those things in the context of a closeted gay teenager desperate for a way to make sense of her feelings and behaviors.
Reading this book is also making me reflect fondly on my own teenage years and the relationships I had with my girl friends. It genuinely never occurred to me at the time to think of them as anything other than friendships, but while it’s true that many, if not most, teenage female friendships are a little codependent and closer than might be socially acceptable at other times, I do think there were some crushes sprinkled in there. I just didn’t have the language or the experience to name them, and acting on them was entirely unimaginable. Not only because I literally couldn’t imagine it for myself at that time, but also because I have no idea whether or not my feelings were ever reciprocated. I’ve never asked, and we definitely never discussed such things in high school. We just existed in this limbo of hugs and handholding and sleepovers and sharing secrets and loving each other, but, like, not in a gay way.
Anyway, all this to say, The 2000s Made Me Gay is so far a delightful and nostalgic exploration written by a funny and insightful person and if you relate to anything I’ve rambled in this post, particularly if you were coming of age in the early to mid 2000s, you should probably read it.
And a small update after finishing the whole book:
I loved it. I’m sad it’s over, that I no longer get to exist in the world painted by Grace’s words. I would have read twice as many essays written by her. I almost, almost want to watch Glee now.
July 13, 2022
Ugh I really had hoped for more from this. It felt so disjointed and there were bits of memoir strewn in with the pop culture but in an out-of-order way that just made me confused on the timeline of things. I felt really bored early on but decided to keep going in the hopes that one of these essays really resonated with me.
As a lesbian born in 2000, I got some of these references (I’ve seen The L Word regrettably, Harry Potter, Pretty Little Liars, Mean Girls, some Gossip Girl, etc), but others (Dawson’s Creek, The OC, The Real World, probably more that were mentioned that I can’t remember the name of) went over my head and I kind of tuned out since I was listening to this on audiobook…Even with the references that I did understand, I didn’t feel like the author was saying anything very compelling in her analysis.
Final nail on the coffin was the Taylor Swift part in the end where her entire explanation made no sense to me-claiming that she was a diehard Kaylor truther but then You Need to Calm Down being released convinced her that Taylor was straight? As if Lover wasn’t full of more Kaylor hints, not to mention folklore and evermore came out before this book was even published! I’m sorry I know I’m fully going on a Gaylor rant now but I just don’t see how you can be aware of Taylor’s queerness and then just be like nevermind bc of one song ? When all the evidence is there in everything else?? Not to mention explaining it all in such a strange way in your book.
She also straight up outed her homoerotic Catholic school crush at the end?? I kept waiting for her to be like “oh, and ___ came out later and told me it was okay to include her story in my book.” BUT SHE DIDN’T SAY THAT. She just ends with saying that she and this friend had a conversation where the friend asked her not to mention their high school relationship to anyone. Then Perry includes it in the fucking book?!!? HUH?!
Anyway, maybe a certain type of queer millennial will like this one, but for me, it was not what I wanted it to be…
As a lesbian born in 2000, I got some of these references (I’ve seen The L Word regrettably, Harry Potter, Pretty Little Liars, Mean Girls, some Gossip Girl, etc), but others (Dawson’s Creek, The OC, The Real World, probably more that were mentioned that I can’t remember the name of) went over my head and I kind of tuned out since I was listening to this on audiobook…Even with the references that I did understand, I didn’t feel like the author was saying anything very compelling in her analysis.
Final nail on the coffin was the Taylor Swift part in the end where her entire explanation made no sense to me-claiming that she was a diehard Kaylor truther but then You Need to Calm Down being released convinced her that Taylor was straight? As if Lover wasn’t full of more Kaylor hints, not to mention folklore and evermore came out before this book was even published! I’m sorry I know I’m fully going on a Gaylor rant now but I just don’t see how you can be aware of Taylor’s queerness and then just be like nevermind bc of one song ? When all the evidence is there in everything else?? Not to mention explaining it all in such a strange way in your book.
She also straight up outed her homoerotic Catholic school crush at the end?? I kept waiting for her to be like “oh, and ___ came out later and told me it was okay to include her story in my book.” BUT SHE DIDN’T SAY THAT. She just ends with saying that she and this friend had a conversation where the friend asked her not to mention their high school relationship to anyone. Then Perry includes it in the fucking book?!!? HUH?!
Anyway, maybe a certain type of queer millennial will like this one, but for me, it was not what I wanted it to be…
August 1, 2021
the essays revolved around highly specific pop culture moments, so my enjoyment of each one was dependant on whether i had seen that particular piece of media, so a lot of them fell a bit flat for me. i also wish the author had integrated a bit more of her personal life into the essays as i found that when she did it was very engaging.
to absolutely nobody’s surprise, my favourite essays were the ones based on harry potter, disney, taylor swift, and glee.
to absolutely nobody’s surprise, my favourite essays were the ones based on harry potter, disney, taylor swift, and glee.
November 13, 2021
I loved the book all of the essays it is so funny and mirrors so much of my adolescence but then legiterally the last few lines of the last paragraph…. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth actually .. was it just to get back at Claire??? To have the last word?? What was the reason!!!
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January 8, 2024An all-encapsulating work of the y2k pop culture scene was hard to find, so I decided a queer eye on its representatives might be the next best thing to reminisce about whatever I can remember.
Grace Perry's takes on the 2000s, while mostly familiar with those who engaged in them, can still be proved interesting via the juxtaposition of her baby gay experience and said pieces' interpreted queerness. As a Genz-er more familiar with their 2010s follow-ups, I could still recognize many of these examples and see how much of a trailblazer (admittedly) MTV, Glee, Harry Potter, Taylor Swift (whose chapter is a super refreshing take on Fearless), the CW shows (whose existence I cannot decide between corny or campy as a now grown-up), etc.
I get that these particular choices of examples correspond to monumental segments of the author's life and that nobody lives the same youth as anyone. However, I also feel like there are still some phenomena worth mentioning, e.g. Supernatural for the CW folks, the whole bisexual chic thingy that MTV endorsed, and so on. That said, the book had some great analyses while still being funny about it.
Grace Perry's takes on the 2000s, while mostly familiar with those who engaged in them, can still be proved interesting via the juxtaposition of her baby gay experience and said pieces' interpreted queerness. As a Genz-er more familiar with their 2010s follow-ups, I could still recognize many of these examples and see how much of a trailblazer (admittedly) MTV, Glee, Harry Potter, Taylor Swift (whose chapter is a super refreshing take on Fearless), the CW shows (whose existence I cannot decide between corny or campy as a now grown-up), etc.
I get that these particular choices of examples correspond to monumental segments of the author's life and that nobody lives the same youth as anyone. However, I also feel like there are still some phenomena worth mentioning, e.g. Supernatural for the CW folks, the whole bisexual chic thingy that MTV endorsed, and so on. That said, the book had some great analyses while still being funny about it.
May 14, 2023
3.5 stars. FUN!! Great!! Loved the essays. Loved the structure. Loved the pop culture!! This is definitely written for queer millennials so tbh if that’s not you, skip it. And even moreso like middle of the range millennials. I’m a YOUNG millennial and didn’t understand some of the references. But overall, it felt like a really witty blog post and 2000s culture and how so much was so queer coded.
There was nothing mind blowing about it and it didn’t really stick out to me or resonate too strongly. It’ll be a fond memory of an experience, but not something i’d really die for others to read.
Side note I absolutely loved the piece on Glee and will probably be looking into more research on how PIVOTAL Glee was the culture.
There was nothing mind blowing about it and it didn’t really stick out to me or resonate too strongly. It’ll be a fond memory of an experience, but not something i’d really die for others to read.
Side note I absolutely loved the piece on Glee and will probably be looking into more research on how PIVOTAL Glee was the culture.
Want to read
February 25, 2025excited to read this because if you keep watching The O.C. after Seth and the coffee cart the very next season Marissa Cooper has a whole ass lesbian affair and I need to know if that is acknowledged
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